A.M. Links: Senator Doesn't Want Fox to Air NRA-Sponsored NASCAR Race, JFK Assassination Artifacts to Go on Display, Cartels Getting Cheap Cocaine

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Credit: Walt Cisco, Dallas Morning News/wikimedia
  • Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) has written a letter to Rupert Murdoch asking that Fox not air a NASCAR race sponsored by the NRA. 
  • Some artifacts from the JFK assassination that have never been displayed before are to be part of exhibitions at the Newseum in Washington D.C.
  • Obama has said that North Korea must stop its "belligerent approach."

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  1. Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) has written a letter to Rupert Murdoch asking that Fox not air a NASCAR race sponsored by the NRA.

    Now there’s a man with a far left voting base.

    1. I did the same thing. Not because of RKBA, just because I hate NASCAR.

      1. How do you keep a NASCAR fan occupied?

        Dump a bag of Skittles in the toilet and flush.

        1. before I looked at the draft which said $4868, I didn’t believe …that…my mom in-law woz like they say truly bringing in money parttime from their computer.. there friend brother haz done this 4 less than 17 months and at present repayed the loans on their mini mansion and bourt a great Lancia Straton. go to, — Gig60.?OM

    2. Murphy said the race will give national attention ”to an organization that has been the face of one side of this heated debate.”

      With all due respect, WTF *is* it with Connecticut? I hope Murdoch orders Fox to shut down its operations there.

      1. If this race was later in the season ESPN would totally cave.

        1. They’d have to pay out the wazoo. Not that Disney doesn’t have the money for it.

      2. And having both sides of an important debate get national attention is bad, apparently.

        “We need to have a national conversation” really means “we need to do what I want”.

        1. It’s not a national conversation, it’s a lecture.

      3. Well an anti-gun group can feel free to sponsor a women’s tennis match or something.

      4. Do you have a bout a year for me to rant about it all? Liberal stupidity gets taken to new levels.

    3. No one misses Joe Lieberman though. Seriously, no one.

      1. Colt misses Chris Dodd terribly.

      2. Over that ratfucker Ned Lamont?

        I voted for him in my first election, and given the lack of LP candidate on that ballot, combined with general shittiness all around, I do not regret that vote.

    4. Since when is Fox News the least of the 3 evils of NASCAR, the NRA, and Fox?

      1. You know what other evil triumvirate angered the yankees…

        1. Steinbrenner, the Red Sox and Hitler?

        2. Tinkers to Evans to Chance?

          1. It’s Tinker to Evers, South Side scum. Also, they never played the Yankees; New York was the Highlanders in their heyday and terrible.

            1. Dang, I have some major Cubs lore to catch up on before I move up there. Can be a Chitown noob…

              1. Can Can’t

                EDIT BUTTON REASON!!!!

              2. Can[‘t] be a Chitown noob…

                Psst, where are you coming, and when?

                1. Check your email! (unless the one on your handle is a fake account)

                  I’ll try to send another message tonight after work, but I sent one a week or two ago. I’ll be moving up in August, though.

            2. I think I spellchecked into Evans – but with the Cubs, who freakin’ cares.

              103 years of futility and counting! Last Pennant won when all the real men were still in the service in 1945!

              Go Cubs Go, Go Cubs Go, Hey Chicago what do you say? The rooftop owners will sue today!

              1. but with the Cubs, who freakin’ cares.

                Indeed. I have cousins that are big time Cubs fans so I’ve always had a soft spot for them, but what a worthless franchise if you’re not born into it. Those three spearheaded the last Cubs championship and were infants during the Hayes administration.

                That blasted poem is the only reason 2 of the 3 are in the hall.

                1. Cubs win the World Series in 2015.

        3. Destiny’s Child?

        4. Lee, Jackson, Stuart?

    5. What’s the over-under on whether Foghorn Leghorn gets his way?

    6. What’s the word for a politician banning speech?

      Something that starts with a C.

      1. Cocksucker?
        Cunt?
        Congressman?

        But I repeat myself.

        1. Damn you.

          1. MUHUHUWAHA. I got to drop the C-bomb first.

      2. Cunt?

    7. See, this is the sort of thing Congress should censure its members for. That sort of statement, coming from a senator, can have a chilling effect behind it, because of the implied threat: “If you don’t do something about it, we will”, even if Congress legally can’t do anything about it. Which makes it unconstitutional.

      I suppose he could say it in his personal capacity, but that’s not what’s happening here, I’m sure.

      1. “Being an asshole under color of law”

        1. Ah, a ?1983 claim. Good idea.

          1. When we’re co-consuls, I can’t wait to take time out of plotting to murder you and seize your power to send the censor against these kinds of dickheads.

            1. Proscription lists a comin’!

              NAIL THAT ONE’S HEAD TO THE ROSTRA!

            2. My murderers will call on your murderers. Let’s do lunch in the meantime and agree on a kill list. I call Cicero!

              1. Now there was a man with some serious political problems. If your country has 3 murderous co-dictators running the show, try not to insult two of them publicly. Very bad for your health.

                1. Supposedly, Octavian didn’t want to kill him but had to concede.

      2. Yeah, what makes a Congressman think he can censor free speech, blatantly restricting the First Amendment rights of some organization? Especially something as iconic and beloved of so many fans as Winston Cup racing.

        This is a Winston Cup race we’re talking about, right?

    1. I don’t think so, I mean they tell you to turn it off in flight.

      1. +1 tray in locked and upright position.

    2. Hugo’s no terrorist, mind you. He developed the app to point out the glaring, frightening, insane security holes in most planes’ onboard flight systems.

      That’s what they *all* say.

      1. *slitted gaze*

        Not this again

    3. Utter bullshit

    4. Here is the presentation

      http://conference.hitb.org/hit…..rials/D1T1 – Hugo Teso – Aircraft Hacking – Practical Aero Series.pdf

      1. Well, I screwed that link up

        1. +1 Meritorious Order of Sugarfree medal for you

      2. “Hugo Teso” is an anagram of Huge Soot. What causes huge soot? Zionists.

        I’ve cracked the case, someone get Alex Jones on the line.

        1. You know who else produced huge soot from Zionists?

    5. I read the article – it appears that someone can hack into flight-simulator software on a computer if given enough time and access. Or that editors can write sensational-sounding headlines that don’t actually synch with what the article says. I forget which.

  2. “Firefly” Hat Triggers Corporate Crackdown
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/elliev…..-crackdown

    Because Firefly fans need more reasons to be mad at 20th Century Fox. After years of satisfied customers, online stores selling hand-knitted replicas of the show’s iconic “Jayne hat” are being forced to shut down? and fans are upset.

    1. This is pretty dumb. Seriously, they’re not going to let you use their characters or intellectual property to advertise your product. So all you Browncoats, get together and decide to call them “Jane hats” from now on. Problem solved.

      1. How about “Animal Mother stars in Firefly Hats”?

    2. Geez, they didn’t even want the show when it was making ratings and fans were clamoring for more. Why are they worried about what fans are buying and selling each other a decade later?

      1. You remember how when you were at that one kids house, and you dug a toy out of the bottom of his toy chest, and he saw you do it and said “I’m playing with that now, it’s mine.”

        That kid grew up to be an IP lawyer.

        1. Dog in the manger.

          I think it’s genetically encoded, because it’s the basis of Liberian economy and politics.

          1. I thought 419 scams were the basis of all of West Africa’s economy.

      2. Because ThinkGeek licensed the rights to sell that hat last December.

        It’s a pretty smart move from a smart company.

        1. Because ThinkGeek …

          For some reason I read this as ThinkGreek

          Nicole? What you up to later??

    3. Am I the only one who hates BuzzFeed’s OOH LOOK! PICTURES! style of “reporting”?

  3. NYPD Sgt. Ed Mullins wants costumed characters in Times Square to be licensed and fingerprinted.

    “WHO PUT THESE BIG FUZZY PAW PRINTS ALL OVER THESE CARDS?”

    1. Great, now sloopy is going to do a whole series of crap on how every one has to get a license except MacGruff can just go around without one.

    2. Nose prints, then.

    3. Does that mean that the NYPD will have to be fingerprinted as well? I mean, all COSTUMED characters…

  4. Obama has said that North Korea must stop its “belligerent approach.”

    NK is almost as bad as those damn Republicans.

    1. Let’s not make ridiculous hyperboles, mmkay?

  5. Another reason Michael Moore should move to Cuba

    Cuban Weight Loss: How Economic Crisis Helped Cienfuegos Drop Pounds And Ward Off Diabetes, Heart Disease Deaths

    more

    1. That one way to discourage obesity. Tony agrees.

    2. So when do we get to see the results of the long-term weight loss study taking place in North Korea right now? If Cubans are extra-healthy from some deprivation, those Norks probably have developed X-Men-like super powers.

      Wait a second – when Kim starts talking about unleashing weapons of mass destruction against the South and against the United States, you don’t suppose he means …….?

      Crap – somebody find Xavier, quick!

  6. The events of Troll Free Friday have been postponed until Monday.

    Today all we’re going to talk about is how Nikki is like the Pele of anal, but then gets all uptight if someone, say, brings up Ke$ha’s choice of beverage a mere thirty or forty times. I mean seriously? You don’t see the slight dissonance there?

    Also, the males here seem to be split about 50/50 on thinking sending soldiers up the Hershey highway violates first principles. I figured it’d be skewed much much more in the “it’s awesome if she lets you” category.

    Only one precinct is reporting on what the mythical libertarian females think of it, so any more input would be appreciated.

    And….go:

    1. Has there ever been a rimming thread on this board? Is there a libertarian stance on rimming?

      1. I CAN”T KEEP TRACK OF ALL THE LIBERTARIAN RULES!

        1. You held the shift key down instead of using the caps lock? Amateur.

            1. I do too. It’s just like in Diablo II, most of the time I’d rather die than use one of the full rejuvs in my belt, because THEN I WOULDN”T HAVE 16 FULL REJUVS IN MY BELT.

            2. EVERYONE KNOWS CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME.

            3. I actually remove the caps lock button from my keyboards. I never want it and its too close to tab.

      2. Not an official one. Tulpa tried to get us to help him with Romney, but it was largely unsuccessful.

        1. Auric came out firmly against it yesterday morning.

          1. -2 points for dropping my awesome handle for you.

            +5 points for talking about anal with these repressed weirdos.

            1. First of all, it was my awesome handle based on your awesome idea, and it still is.

              1. Can you explain the latest handle for us rubes?

                1. It’s a reference to “Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes,” i.e., another song with “Diamond[s]” in the title.

                  1. Thanks for the femsplanation.

          2. I am firmly against me doing it. If others want to, go nuts.

            Which is the most libertarian position possible.

            1. Yes, I apologize for not initially making this vital distinction.

              1. You were quite reasonable about the topic.

            2. I have no problem with assfucking, as long as it isn’t being done by the government.

          3. I thought that was an anal penetration thread? I was wondering more about analingus.

            1. Paging barfman.

            2. Auric also said he wouldn’t put his mouth there.

              I have no experience in the matter but, of course, am down for whatever.

              1. I’m going to imagine the percentage of guys willing to put a mouth there is much lower than the ones willing to put there penis there.

                1. I know girls and gay men who do it, so I really don’t know.

              2. “I have no experience in the matter but, of course, am down for whatever.”

                And I am supposed to concentrate on work how?

                1. Sorry LTC John, I’ll go put my burka on now.

                  1. What color burka?

                    1. Purple.

                    2. Purple.

                      Go on…

              3. If you like anal, you’d probably like analingus.

            3. is no one going to confess?

              1. I know, seriously, a commentariat this depraved and no one will own up to rimming?

                1. Maybe the ones who do it are all too busy in the bedroom right now.

                2. I’ll own up to it. Hell, I did it last night. After that thread yesterday, I was in the mood for some butt lovin.

                  My wife likes it and it gets her prepped for penetration. It’s all about making sure it’s clean inside and out.

                  1. Serious question: How do you stand the taste?

                    1. If it’s clean, there really is no taste to speak of. It just tastes like licking skin. Trust me, if it tasted like poo, I wouldn’t do it.

                      Next question!

                    2. Tastes like chicken….

                    3. Sorry, got here late and thought I’d skip AM Links. Little did I know this thread was happening.

                      Rimming is awesome!

                      Provided the rimmee has taken a shower recently the taste is no worse than licking the back of your hand. It’s not me its you has absolutely covered it:

                      My wife likes it and it gets her prepped for penetration. It’s all about making sure it’s clean inside and out.

                    4. I was wondering if you were going to show up and chime in.

                      I’m kinda surprised no one has outright called me horrible names. I’m guessing several people are thinking it, but aren’t responding.

                    5. Why would anyone call you horrible names? You sound like you have an enviable sex life.

                    6. I have a fantastic sex life. It comes with being open to new things and not prude. And having an overactive libido.

                      I thought for a while that I would never find someone who could keep up with me and that would be ok with trying kinky stuff.

                      Well, it’s only kinky the first time, anyway.

                  2. After that thread yesterday, I was in the mood for some butt lovin.

                    Isn’t it funny how that works?

                    1. Well, I’m ALWAYS in the mood for lovin. That thread just steered my thoughts in a certain direction.

              2. Why isn’t our friend Capt Ace Rimmer on this thread? Oh, sure he says it’s a Red Dwarf reference, but I think we all know better.

            4. Are you people still that curious about that?

              I mean, I could answer any questions y’all might have. The penetration, not the licking. Who the fuck would put their mouth their?

              1. Are you people still that curious about that?

                If by “you people” you mean Countfly, and by “curious about that” you mean “hides the fact that he’s trolling by calling for troll-free days,” then yes.

              2. Why are you asking us, and not your mother?

              3. Who the fuck would put their mouth their?

                People who have never heard of fecal coliform. (aka Brazilians)

              4. I mean, I could answer any questions y’all might have. The penetration, not the licking. Who the fuck would put their mouth their?

                Sometimes I consider it, but how can I ever be sure there’s no poo particles hanging around? I mean urine droplets around the front aren’t as bad, since you can technically drink urine, but poo is poo.

                But even sending a finger towards the bunghole pisses off my girl, so it is still mostly unexplored territory. Like the Northwest Passage, but for sex.

                1. I mean urine droplets around the front aren’t as bad, since you can technically drink urine

                  So we’re officially back to Ke$ha?

                  1. I’m just trying to stay culturally and sexually relevant!

    2. You don’t see the slight dissonance there?

      And the lack of an edit button strikes again. Don’t worry, we all know you meant “pissonance.”

    3. For the record: the Ke$ha piss-drinking story was much more annoying than gross.

      1. I feel the same way about anal.

    4. Also, I mean, “Pele”? I don’t know, that doesn’t seem quite right…

      1. GEEZ it’s a quote from Archer. You’re forgetting what dorks we are, apparently.

        1. Damn, finally revealing my total ignorance of Archer! Please don’t kill me guys.

          1. You don’t watch Firefly, you don’t watch Archer.

            You are the worst. It’s true.

            1. Actually, she’s the best. Joss Whedon killed TV/Movie sci-fi.

              I hope he dies from colon cancer.

              1. Ah, you did something there, in this here thread…and I saw it.

            2. I may be the worst, but you don’t like Archer either, or any comedy!

              1. I actually hate most TV comedy. But I love Archer.

    5. Figures, it is bad enough that I get excluded from both political teams cause I don’t fit into either, now I get excluded from both anal camps cause I don’t fit int either, I mean there is nothing icky or wrong about anal and it is a nice changeup every now and then (like about once a year) but honestly it just doesn’t feel as good as the other way and is rarely worth the extra effort

      1. If you think “it is a nice changeup every now and then” you are, for H&R, in the pro-anal camp I’d say.

      2. I get excluded from both anal camps cause I don’t fit int[o] either

        Oh please, you’d fit into a plastic drinking straw.

        1. No too loose, I usually have to stick a qtip or two up there to make that work

    6. the Pele of anal

      1. What does that even mean? Nicole the Hawaiian Fire Goddess of Anal? Nicole the Brazilian Footballer of Anal?

      2. Link?

      1. Archer quote

        Archer: Let’s talk this out.
        Lana: Talk what out?! How you ruined my chance to work for ODIN?! Or?ooh!?maybe how I just caught my boyfriend balls deep in some French chick!
        Archer: Ex-boyfriend, I bet.
        Lana: Oh, you think?!
        Archer: Yeah, he’s not coming back. That chick was, like, the Pel? of anal.

        1. It still makes no sense. The ex would be the Pele. I mean unless the ex is getting pegged.

          1. It makes sense in context. Just like describing a hat as cunning is nonsensical, unless one has seen Firefly.

          2. Do you think the receiver can’t add to the experience and therefor be considered good at it, let alone the best in the world?

            1. It’s the same as with regular sex. Active participation is encouraged.

            2. It’s not like the goalie doesn’t contribute to a soccer game, but he’s not the one putting the balls in the net, if you know what I mean.

              1. Point awarded to Nikki.

                On to the lightning round now.

              2. I think you are taking the metaphor a little too far. Pele was the best at what he did and that’s as far as the comparison goes. Nobody in the US knows about any soccer player besides Pele and Beckham, so a goalie comparison wouldn’t have worked.

                1. No one said it had to be a soccer reference. I take my metaphors very seriously! (And I know a lot more soccer players than that. Anyone know who the Messi of anal is? I’d be interested. Plus, see how much funnier that is? Get it? MESSI!)

                  1. Anyone know who the Messi of anal is?

                    Your mom?

                    1. Jeez, dude, follow the thread. It has to be a dude!

                  2. OK, no real Americans then. You’re part foreigner, aren’t you?

                    1. Duh. Of course, my dad would totally disown me for expressing my love for an Argentinean, but whatevs.

      2. Nicole the Hawaiian Fire Goddess of Anal?

        If this is the case, Nicole, you either need to eat less spicy food or get more lube. Just sayin.

    7. Ummm…. my gf loves it and I do it all the time. It has lost any sense of mystery, and is sort of like one more position change at this point.

      Of course when we break up and I find a new lover it will be quite an adjustment.

      1. when we break up

        Someone’s optimistic!

        1. I’m not just optimistic – I’m determined.

      2. Anal – not rimming. Just to clarify.

  7. http://gizmodo.com/5994461/hol…..ying-thing

    Possibly old, but still crazy and horrifying*.

    *But not a Jezebel post, for the record.

    1. damn you!

      1. FLAWLESS VICTORY

    2. My neighbor growing up was a crazy hermit lady who had a GORGEOUS back yard that was proably about 2 acres of garden paths and such.

      She used to give me a dollor for each wasp nest that I could knock down in her back yard (this was in the late ’70s before they had like the 20′ wasp spray shooters).

      I would probably have charged $5 to take that one down, because that seemed like a lot of money to me back then, and also because I don’t give a crap about getting stung (I got stung a LOT – mostly because she demanded I bring the nests to her so she could count them).

      1. Dude, I’m pretty sure that many wasps could actually poison you to death.

        1. Like an 8 year old gives a crap about death.

          FIVE DOLLARS MAN.

          1. I’m not sure where they would get the poison and besides all they would have had to do was sting him to death. That’s what I would have done if it was me.

            1. Apparently, I left out an important piece of the story:

              I had a broom handle. Where’s your stingers now!?

      2. So, shouldn’t your handle be Counterwasp? Too racist?

        1. “racist”?

          Mansplain to me.

          1. See, WASP was a late ’70s early ’80s proto-hair metal band (that’s actually a bit debatable, they may have been a late stage glam band, or even just a vanilla metal band, but in any case, they had all the trappings of hair metal before it existed – except they didn’t do ballads and they played more up-tempo). And the lead singer was Blackie Lawless.

            So if you’re Counter-WASP, then you hate Blackie, and are therefore, racist.

            1. So explain CounterFLY then.

              (Dare I ask?)

              1. If the flies in Liberia are anything like southern Iraq, I suspect they are his greatest foe.

      3. She used to give me a dollor for each wasp nest that I could knock down in her back yard

        Knocking down wasps-nests does seem pretty dolorific.

      4. When I was a kid, there was one summer when our mom put us into the tender care of a woman who insisted all the kids call her “teacher”, even though she taught us absolutely nothing. In fact, her method of babysitting was the put all the kids in the backyard and leave them to their own devices every single day. This was a group of about a dozen children aged 2-10, stuck outside all day in Houston. One of our hobbies was catching yellow jackets and wasps. The trick was to go stomp them into the grass and capture them while they were stunned. I remember one day we had a little zoo with about two dozen of them caught under individual plastic cups on the picnic table.

        1. She sounds better than most of the public-payroll teachers I had growing up. You learned how to capture wasps, for one thing.

          1. That is some great teaching, it sounds like a practical exercise for demonstrating the point of “Lord of the Flies”

            Lord of the Wasps?

    3. I agree with the commenter there… KILL IT WITH FIRE. A lot of fire, actually.

      That thing was positively H. P. Lovecraftian.

      1. a youtube search for “wasp nest fire” shows that there is a lot of that going on.

        There was one that I cannot find now where some guy armored up, grabbed a big nest, and dropped it in a metal trash can filled with something flammable. It was glorious.

        1. grabbed a big nest, and dropped it in a metal trash can filled with something flammable

          This?

          Also, I can’t decide if this is awesome, or stupid.

          1. Yeah, that one. Your YouTube fu is stronger then mine.

            Probably because I always forget to like or bookmark the videos I liked.

        2. My dad and I used to put on our thick wet suits, a large brimmed hat, and some fine netting over the hat tucked into the suit. It made for a great bee suit.

          We pulled a wasp nest out of our tree that was about 2 ft in diameter, set it on the ground, doused it with kerosene and lit the fucker up. Wasps were swarming everywhere on us. Took a while to get them all off before we could go in the house.

          Another time, we had a HUGE underground nest that kept coming back. We put spray killer all around the openings, didn’t have any effect. We poured gasoline down the holes and burnt them and then filled them in, they just tunneled up. Finally, we got some old M80s, stuffed a few in each hole, soaked the whole thing in gas, lit a match and ran. The explosion collapsed the nest and we finally got rid of them.

          Moral of the story: sometimes dealing with wasps is fun.

            1. If I ever have to deal with a giant infestation of wasps in my yard again, I’ll let you know. I’ll supply the bee suits and beer, you bring the dynamite.

          1. I’m allergic to wasps, but they’ve never scared me. They’re too slow. They congregated in our bushes by the basketball goal growing up, so I made a game of pissing them off until they moved near the wall, and then trying to crush them with the basketball against the wall before they identified the threat and MyGirled the shit out of me. Never got stung once. Wasps are foul little creatures, but stupid, and slow.

      2. You military types have loved the battlefield applications of fire ever since – well, forever now that I think about it.

        1. MOAR FIRE!

          Since Greek Fire, at least!

          1. Unless all your soldiers are like Auric and refuse to use it.

            1. I’m confused what fire has to do with butts.

              1. Think overly spicy burrito from a Mom and Pop tacqueria in Aurora, IL.

                1. Apparently my digestive system is super evolved to deal with spicy foods. I never run into this issue despite consuming the spiciest stuff I can find.

                  1. Also the Greek fire point that Counterfly made was a whimsical jab at your dislike of anal.

              2. You’ve never lit your farts?

                You, Sir, are missing out on all the great things in life!

            2. +1 Tube of KY.

  8. The President’s Priorities
    Debt in 2014 will hit 78.2% of the economy.
    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..on_LEADTop

    The real news is that his budget ratifies much of the spending increase of the first term and tries to lock it in. He wants the feds to spend $3.78 trillion next year ($11,944 per American), which would still be 22.2% of national output nearly four years into an economic recovery. Before the financial panic in 2008, the government was spending about $1 trillion less, or closer to $2.7 trillion a year and an average of 20% of GDP?and President Bush was no slouch as a spender himself.

    1. It’s higher than that right now.

  9. Disappointed woman offers lessons in how to propose

    “The idea came from my own disappointing experience – my boyfriend proposed to me during an argument in the same way you might ask someone if they’d like to go for a pizza,” Miss Sheppard said

    So it went something like this?

    She: Why won’t you marry me!
    He: Fine! I’ll marry you!
    She: I can’t believe how inadequate that proposal was! Let me start a business and use your inadequacy as an advertising gimmick!

    Despite the fact that her boyfriend Ryan Galeozzi got the proposal so wrong the couple are still together. Mr Galeozzi, her boyfriend of four years, is planning a second attempt.

    Suuuure… he’s planning the next attempt…
    Echoes of Elliot here, for sure.

    1. Well, I mean if he ignores a warning sign that big, then there’s no hope for him anyway.

      Maybe he’ll get lucky and get hit by a bus or something.

    2. Echoes of Elliot here, for sure.

      Oh fuck that shit.

      Scrubs devolved into an annoying mess pretty quickly.

    1. Mine was too. But it just said:

      “I’ve decided to devote myself to country matters for the remainder of my life.”

  10. http://online.wsj.com/article/…..on_LEADTop

    Longtime Clintonista is a corrupt piece of shit. Everyone get out your shocked faces.

    1. Not today!! My fainting couch is in the shop!

      1. You’ll have to resort to the fainting futon.

        1. How about a woozy beanbag chair?

          1. The light-headedness love-seat.

            1. a fluffy pillow to sit on?

    2. Fucking Wall Street Journal’s URLs don’t give any indication as to who it is.

      1. Saying Terry McAuliffe is a piece of shit is just being redundant.

  11. A woman in North Carolina has won a settlement after she was arrested for filming a traffic stop from her front yard.

    $25,000 out of taxpayer pockets? Those coppers and that judge will never pull that stunt again!

    1. Come on FOE, they probably got a verbal reprimand too. A VERBAL REPRIMAND, man! You never, ever forget one of those.

  12. Nine Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Swear Words
    http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/…..ear-words/

    1. The average person swears quite a bit.
    2. Kids often learn a four-letter word before they learn the alphabet.
    3. Some of today’s most popular swear words have been around for more than a thousand years.
    4. The ancient Romans laid the groundwork for modern day f-bombs.

    more in link

    1. And no, Tim, it’s not a slideshow.

    1. police have the authority to search your home for any reason or no reason at all… at least in their minds

    2. Okay, he got his dick and one of his balls shot off… I think that is enough punishment! But no, they gotta arrest him for possession of marijuana. Fucking cops

    3. Didn’t the Supreme Nazgul decide that the peasants have no right to quarrel with the king’s men when they do something illegal, that peasants may sue afterwards in court if they have enough gold, but must otherwise submit and obey?

    4. Silly rabbit. EVERYTHING gives the cops authority to search your home.

    5. I believe it’s referred to as “the delicious fruit of the we-don’t-give-a-shit-if-it’s-poisoned-or-not tree.”

      At least that’s what I’ve picked up from watching Law & Order.

      1. +1 stare decisis.

    6. Because fuck you, that’s why?

    1. Hmm, which is more offensive, the gun industry’s assumption that women want a bunch of pink guns, or anti-gun people’s assumption that pink guns will actually work to get women “addicted” to shooting? Yeah, no contest.

      1. We all know you want a brown gun, nikki 🙂

        1. Actually I am looking for a green stock for a 10/22. Like bright, ridiculous eighties green. I want the 10/22 equivalent of a pair of matte neon Wayfarers. COSMO ALERT

          1. This isn’t green but right up your alley. So to speak. Or something.
            http://www.eurooptic.com/image…..PARTAN.jpg

            1. Sweet

              1. SIG makes guns that look like they came out of those cheesy ads in old people magazines.

                “Beautifully rendered on real genuine imitation quartz, this holographic view of the Manhattan skyline with an Eagle made of freedom where the World Trade Center used to be shows your American pride. Only three easy payments of 26.99!”

                1. SIG makes guns that look like they came out of those cheesy ads in old people magazines.

                  Have you seen American Rifleman? It’s a little disturbing to be honest. I look through it like it’s the bizarro-world version of Vogue, checking out all the horrible, trashy ads instead of the beautiful, aspirational ones.

                  1. Yeah I would have used that as a reference, but I thought it might be obscure.

                    If it didn’t come free with my NRA membership, I wouldn’t read it.

                  2. I like the gun reviews and the Armed Citizen column. But it does have some pretty weird stuff in ads. Like the gold plated John Wayne commemorative 1911.

          2. Did you see this?

            http://www.amazon.com/Hogue-Ov…..B007PMJVYW

            1. I did, actually. That was the closest thing I found to what I wanted.

      2. Pink guns sell. I saw a dad walking out the door of the local gun store, his daughter behind him clutching her brand new pink .22. It was adorable. Then when she’s older she can get this.

        http://news.cnet.com/8301-1793…..subj=Crave

        1. They sell, but they need more variety. I mean, I like color, but pink is so meh.

            1. Dude, thank you, I spent all last weekend wondering why I was not finding just the right thing and I think I have.

              1. So I get anal now right? I mean, that’s what my patriarchy handbook says. I do a minimnal effort nice thing for a chick, she has to give up the back door.

                1. Hmm, well, you aren’t the one who’s going to build it for me…but that’s probably still fair, so yes.

                  1. So you’re thinking the 61 Lime Green? That eye searingly bright enough?

                    1. I’m thinking 18 Lime Green, or maybe even 51 Mesquite.

                    2. I like the Mesquite.

                    3. Yeah me too. I could go in a few different “creative directions” with this so I’ll be thinking about it for a bit, but this is the best selection I’ve seen so far.

            2. That’s cool.

      3. A friend of mine gave this to his seven y/o daughter for Christmas.

  13. Pitcher breaks collar bone punching a guy in the nuts after hitting him with a baseball.

    1. I was pleasantly surprised by the cbsradio people’s response to this. Basically, if you hit someone then talk shit don’t be surprised if you end getting hurt.

      1. The guy he hits is a fucking asshole too.

        1. If you lean over the plate, don’t be surprised to get hit.

        2. If you don’t even try to get out of the way (he didn’t), don’t be surprised when the umpire doesn’t give you first – or the pitcher complains.

        3. No pitcher is trying to hit you in a 2-1 game with men on base.

        1. This pitcher might have – they have a history of him getting plunked by this guy.

          And this at bat, at least, he was not leaning in.

    2. A dude punching another dude in the nuts?

      Bad form, man… bad form.

      I think that’s even against the Geneva Convention or something…

      1. I think if you warn them first, even jokingly, “I’ll punch you in the nuts, man” then it’s ok.

    3. I figured he broke his collarbone on the shoulder check:

      For the record, Zack Greinke took Carlos Quentin’s charge like a middle linebacker.

      Way to mix your metaphors, Dodgers Twitter Feed.

      Remember when Greinke couldn’t give a fuck about baseball and did weird shit like hit every speed between 55 and 92 just because and never throw his hardest fastball because it made pitching too easy? On CNN this morning they were calling his conduct a result of him such an intense competitor that cares so much about the game. Paxil must work wonders.

      1. I actually really liked Greinke’s weirdness when he played here in KC. Haven’t really followed him since he left.

  14. Obama has said that North Korea must stop its “belligerent approach.”

    Oh, well I’m glad that’s solved then.

    Seeing how effective this same approach was with the congressional Republicans…

    1. Well, the Norkos are much more reasonable than those fascists.

  15. Matthew Yglesias: The Class War Has Begun
    Obama is waging it against the rich. The Republicans are waging it against the poor.
    http://www.slate.com/articles/…..icans.html

    But this superficial conflict about taxes hides a much more fundamental dispute about class warfare. The White House wants to substantially redistribute income downward, while the GOP wants to do just the reverse.

    On both the tax and the spending side, this fight is really about who gets the money. Democrats want to pare back tax breaks for high-income individuals in order to preserve social services, while expanding a handful of tax credits aimed at the working poor. The GOP concept, by contrast, is to shelter tax incentives for savings and investment from any closure?a move that primarily benefits more prosperous households. The tax loopholes Republicans would close would likely result in higher taxes on many middle-class families in order to finance a big cut in the top marginal-income tax rate?a cut that only helps the wealthy.

    1. But this superficial conflict about taxes hides a much more fundamental dispute about class warfare. The White House wants to substantially redistribute income downward, while the GOP wants to do just the reverse.

      Tell that to the disproportionately low income demographic smokers he wants to pay for universal pre-school designed for soccer moms to have a free babysitter.

  16. So which one is the biggest fucking cry-baby?

    1. Still Boehner.

    2. Ima say “Thrift Shop woman”.

      1. Agreed. School zone speed limits are retarded anyway.

  17. MELBOURNE, April 9 (UPI) — Women find broad shoulders and narrow hips attractive, but what they really like is a large penis, researchers in Australia suggest.

    Dr. Bob Wong of the School of Biological Sciences at Monash University in Australia and colleagues at The Australian National University and La Trobe University, projected life-size, 3D computer-generated male bodies to 105 female participants.

    The study, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, found penis size influenced how the female participants perceived attractiveness — the more ample, the more appealing.

    http://www.upi.com/Health_News…..t=mps&or=4

    1. shorter version: Jon Hamm can have any woman he wants

    2. Dr. “Bob Wong”, eh?

      I claim hoax.

    3. I would be curious as to how the study was advertised. If the women knew they were going to be looking at penises all day, then they are probably going to attract ones who have developed distinct preferences about how penises should look. In short, they were probably all lonely 40 year old women who like Shades of Grey.

      1. Not necessarily. In my experience, women with BDSM experience tend not to care all that much, probably because the sensations resulting from an above average dick don’t register as all that intense when compared to what someone can do with a well wielded flogger or single tail.

        And if she really wants to feel stretched, that’s what fisting is for.

        1. This used to be such a nice place.

          1. This used to be such a nice place.

            Are you sure?

        2. Lonely 40 year old women who like 50 Shades of Grey have no clue what actual BDSM is like.

          1. Lonely 40 year old women who like 50 Shades of Grey have no clue what actual BDSM is like.

            True, there are a huge number finding out though. Which I’m finding incredibly hilarious.

  18. Obama has said that North Korea must stop its “belligerent approach.”

    Have they considered the benignity of droning?

    1. Kim Jong-Un heard about “kinetic military action”, but he hates two out of the three words in that phrase.

      1. Has anyone else started reading all North Korea stories in the Team America Kim Jonh Il voice?

        1. Damn you! I will be now.

          1. It was irrevitabar.

  19. Karl Rove: Obama Gears Up to ‘Flip the House’ in 2014
    History is not on his side, but the GOP can’t afford to be out-hustled and out-fundraised.
    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..on_LEADTop

    Team Obama knows its chances of flipping the House are small. But they will do two things that?if left unchecked?could result in more Democratic victories than otherwise expected.

    The president’s campaign has now morphed into a grass-roots lobbying group called “Organizing for Action” that’s trying to energize Mr. Obama’s supporters over gun control, equal pay, abortion and gay marriage.

    OFA says it won’t be involved directly in elections, but information about its contacts can be transferred to the Democratic National Committee to be used to drive up turnout among voters who might otherwise stay home.

    1. Isn’t that a show on HGtv or something?
      “Flip this House”

      1. That’s A&E. Funny how it went off the air a year after the housing bubble popped.

  20. The decline of Colombia’s drug gangs has resulted in Mexican cartels having access to cheap cocaine.

    It’s called the first law of narcodynamics.

  21. Awesome!

    These are the most totally overused adjectives on the Internet
    http://www.dailydot.com/lol/mo…..headlines/

    Hilarious
    Insane
    Mind-blowing
    Awesome
    Innovative
    Epic
    Stunning
    Cutting edge
    Game-changing

    1. what about on Hit & Run?

        1. Jezebelian

        2. sadbeardian

          1. Hey, now. This is cutting a little too close to the bone, Fluffy.

      1. deep dish

        That’s a noun adjunct, which is the same as an adjective.

      2. They tend to be a bit saltier.

        1. Try eating pineapple first.

    2. where’s ‘unexpected’?

      1. That is only in economics stories by MSM/Left sources. Maybe used a bit ironically here.

      2. Yeah, and I would’ve thought “Local” would make the list.

    3. I think “rape culture” and “mansplaining” need to be on there. Being used ONCE is overuse.

      1. oh wait… adjectives. nevermind.

    4. Dude, that list is epic. *mind blown*

      1. I see…what you did there.

  22. Law enforcement issues more than $100K in parking tickets to an abandoned car.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..d-car.html

    1. But targets were met that year.

  23. The shocking moment mother THROWS her baby aside so she can fight another female passenger

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..woman.html

    1. One of many reasons to not take public transit.

      1. I guess you’re not interested in being tossed a free baby?

        1. Nah. Even though all babies are technically mine, according to whats her face.

        2. 1)You don’t know where that baby’s been. If you catch that baby you’re catching every person that baby’s been caught by.
          2)You can’t defend yourself or your property when your hands are full of baby.

          Conclusion- You have to swat that baby down.

          1. I just had the image of Dikembe Mutombo leaping over people to block the baby toss.

            “Not on my bus”

    2. ‘Someone grab my baby! I’m going beat the s*** out of you on this bus little girl. This b**** has disrespected me in front of my baby, man. I’ll hit that b****.’

      Just remember, folks–Tony thinks having a social safety net prevents this from happening.

  24. What a catch! Incredible moment family accidentally hooks BALD EAGLE on fishing trip to Alabama

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..abama.html

    1. Whole family to be arrested. I’m sure that’s a felony charge right there.

  25. Beaver kills fisherman.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..larus.html

    1. I’m going to not click, and continue to believe this fisherman just died the way Tyrion would want to.

  26. Florida tour guide wrestles Burmese python which turns out to be 10.5ft long and stronger than him

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..r-him.html

    Unfortunately, the big hunt only yielded 68 of the estimated 150,000 pythons roaming the Everglades.

    Maybe the estimates are a little off. Ever think of that?

    1. Nobody wants to admit they have been supplying the catch to Mounty Pyton’s.

      And you all wonder why Pro L is driving a new BMW.

      1. Upholstered with python skin, no less.

    2. Maybe the estimates are a little off. Ever think of that?

      Yeah, it’s probably closer to 1.5 million pythons.

      1. Well, let’s see. Maybe 200,000 in the swamps. There’s what, 9 million homes here, so let’s say, just for the heck of it (and leaving out commercial buildings for simplicity), 18 million toilets.

        So there are 18,200,000 pythons in Florida.

  27. Well, Lord Humungus stole my Matthew Yglesias article, so here’s your Friday Reason Challenge: Read this entire article from David Rothkopf without breaking your favorite writing utensil in twain.

    Mitch McConnell’s stance on gun control makes him more dangerous than Kim Jong-Un

    1. guzzoline isn’t the only thing I take…

      1. I hope you aren’t asking us to just walk away…

    2. I couldn’t even finish the headline.

    3. Anybody who advocates taking guns away from law abiding citizens is more dangerous than Kim Jong-Un. They enable mass murderers to commit their crimes.

    4. But in vowing to block any vote on even the most modest legislation to rein in America’s out-of-control gun culture, the Senate minority leader all but guarantees that the toll in America’s street-corner war will continue to rise.

      McConnell should submit legislation banning street corners.

  28. OT:

    I build a single-ended tube amplifier
    http://6streetbridge.blogspot……ifier.html

    and some advice on audiophile stereo systems
    http://6streetbridge.blogspot……lding.html

    1. Tube thread!

  29. How To Potty Train Your Demon Child

    more

    1. I’m trying to come up with a way to reconcile my hatred of CPS and my love of religious liberty with my strong conviction that the lady in the story who thought her toddler needed an exorcism to be potty trained should have her kids taken away.

    2. Does this work on recalcitrant congresscreatures?

      1. I vote we stick Henry Waxman’s head in a bucket of Holy Water and find out.

  30. When does stealing drugs (while likely armed!) not get you jail time?

    When you’re a St Joseph County, MI deputy.

  31. Ohio court determines that police used excessive force when they killed a naked and unarmed man.

    So it looks like the criminal prosecutions civil case can go forward.

  32. uh, Godzilla got there first

    North Korea states ‘nuclear war is unavoidable’ as it declares first target will be Japan
    http://www.express.co.uk/news/…..l-be-Japan

    1. I though the Enola Gay got there first?

  33. “If you don’t stop beating your girlfriend so bad she has to be taken to the hospital, we’re gonna give you a paid vacation so you can spend even more time at home.

    FTA: 13News also spoke with Cabell County Sheriff Tom McComas who told us his department is doing a thorough investigation making sure it is open and transparent with the State Police.

    So thorough and transparent that they’re not releasing his name.

    1. When the Violence Against Women Act was being discussed, I was confused because violence is already illegal. Now I realize violent acts are only illegal for non-agents-of-the-state.

      I’m sure the internet feminists will jump all over this incident and cops’ higher rate of domestic violence in general.

  34. Since you old married guys thought I was torturing you with tidbits of successful dating, I’ll give you one of the awkward moments to even it out. Had drinks with a friend-of-a-friend postdoc last night and, thinking it had gone well, went to kiss her goodnight and got the cheek.

    1. I’ve had great success with laughing and saying something like “Oh wow, are we 12 again?”

      1. I haven’t had to develop a strategy for this particular situation.

        1. Ask her for a handjob instead.

        2. Kiss the other cheek and say something in a Romance language.

          1. That would actually have been quite clever.

        3. I never had a strategy for that either, mainly because if I was getting cheek I never got the date in the first place.

          I needed a strategy to deal with, “I would never go out with you in a million years.”

          Never did come up with one.

          1. some of my friends do what I call the shotgun approach: they hit on many girls without any sense of fear or rejection. They tended to get lucky a lot.

            On the other hand, I tended to zero in on woman at a time, but was sometimes too afraid to ask them out – fearing the rejection. The joys of being shy.

            In retrospect I needed to not give a fuck. Ah well, I’m an old married bastard now.

            1. have to play to your strengths. I never could have done the shotgun approach. Just too quiet and/or shy.

              1. I have done much more of the focused strategy in the past. Forcing myself to go with this shotgun strategy, I’m surprised by how easy it is.

                1. It’s a numbers game. You approach 50, number close 10, meet up with 5, fuck one.

                  To quote a great man: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!!

                  1. I’m doing much better than a 5:1 approach to first date ratio, though I’m not approaching random people on the street.

                    number close

                    Aaand you got me to check out of this conversation.

          2. I used to try logic.

            Me: “Would you mind answering some yes-or-no questions?”

            Her: “… No.”

            Me: “Do you promise that your answers to these questions will be truthful?”

            Her: “… Yes.”

            Me: “If my next question is ‘Will you have dinner with me tonight?’, will you answer that the same way you answer this question?”

            Her: “….”

            1. Doubles as an IQ test. Nice.

          3. I needed a strategy to deal with, “I would never go out with you in a million years.”

            What’s your strategy for ‘Stop looking in my window, you perverted fuck!’?

    2. Did you immediately stamp your feet and yell, “LESBIAN”?

      1. I just mansplained to her why she was stupid and ugly.

    3. she’s either

      a) frigid
      b) afraid of your neck beard

      1. It’s certainly not b, as that would require I had the ability to actually grow a bread.

        1. If you’re growing bread… you may have a yeast issue.

          1. They escaped from my homebrew setup.

    4. Ha! My first date last night ended with her pulling me in for a kiss on the lips!

      1. You should be looking forward to a FUN weekend! Just beware of crazy.

      2. RAPE CULTURE!!1

      3. Yay! Go tarran!

      4. Telling her, ‘mmmm, this room smells just like your cunt’ can be suprisingly sexy if said the right way.

        1. Is that you Miggs?

    5. HAHA! You got friend-zoned!

    6. Oooh! Rush Auric to the BURN unit!

    7. Well, your first mistake was not cupping her bosom when she was in range. No wonder she gave you the cheek.

      1. Well, your first mistake was not cupping her bosom when she was in range.

        Who said I didn’t?

        1. Then all is right with the world, and I don’t know why you’re complaining. Don’t you know that propagation is your duty to the billions of years of life that went to the trouble of creating you?

          1. I am aware. But the procreation did not occur. Perhaps I didn’t cup it firmly enough?

            1. Possibly. Perhaps you should attempt reentry. Or entry.

    8. And you didn’t slap that cheek? Beta.

  35. http://www.nationalreview.com/…..verbruggen

    This is why you never give them a fucking inch. Because they are masters of writing vague expansive legislation.

    Fuck Pat Toomey.

    1. More so any cop or FBI or ATF piece of parasite slime who “enforces” the legislation.

  36. http://news.yahoo.com/mars-pho…..39074.html

    New photos of Mars might show an old Soviet probe.

    1. For whatever reason the Soviets just could not handle Mars.

      1. Reds never like one another.

        1. There’s just too much freedom on Mars for the Soviets to handle.

          1. Mars has successfully implemented a Five-Year Plan to allow for limited markets.

    2. That line would have been so much more epic if it said Uranus instead of mars

  37. WEST COVINA, Calif., April 11 (UPI) — Police in West Covina, Calif., said a man walked into a Home Depot, grabbed a handsaw and sawed through both his arms to the bone.

    The man, whose name was not reported, calmly entered the store on Azusa Avenue before 1 p.m. Wednesday and grabbed a handsaw, the West Covina Police Department said.

    “He just began sawing away,” Cpl. Rudy Lopez told the Los Angeles Times. “He was pretty much intent on doing what he did.”

    http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US…..365681140/

    1. How does someone cut both of their arms to the bone with a handsaw? I mean, after the first arm, what did he cut the second with?

      But damn… how does one even do that? WTF was he on?

      BATH SALTS!!!!

      1. For the record, this comment wasn’t here when I started typing mine.

    2. This is why we need saw control legislation!

      I can see somebody sawing through one arm, but once you’ve injured that arm, how do you saw the other arm?

  38. A police officer I actually feel some sympathy for.

    Guy gets involved in a consensual relationship with a 16 year old, but because he’s in a”position of authority,” he’s facing 3-15 years.

    1. Sympathy:

      The harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions.

      You… may… have meant empathy.

      1. sym?pa?thy
        /?simp?TH?/
        Noun
        Feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune.
        Formal expression of such feelings; condolences.
        Synonyms
        compassion – pity – commiseration – fellow feeling

        But your definition works since I think the sexual activities between consenting parties is their business, and apparently so do the cop and his partner.

    2. I have this sneaking suspicions that if the teenager had been a girl it would have been swept under the rug. But it’s teh ghey so they’re going to get him off the force.

      1. I’ve got a feeling you’re right.

        Police Departments are probably one of the last remaining vestiges of institutional gay-bashing and homophobia.

        1. Police departmental, pro-sports, and politics.

          1. pro-sports

            I hear the NHL and WNBA are not just accepting but will be requiring a certain number of atheletes on each team be gay.

            1. Also, soccer.

  39. My wife is going to a baby shower tonight.

    Anyone have some good guy-night-at-home movie recommendations?

    1. Duh, it’s Friday. Go out.

      1. Hah. I forgot to mention that the kids will be sleeping upstairs.

        1. Let me add:

          Excalibur
          Breaker Morant
          12 O’Clock High
          Run Silent, Run Deep (not it’s not porn)

          1. +1 Dean Jagger

            12 O’Clock High rulez.

          2. Breaker Morant, seconded.

            1. Rule 3-0-3!

    2. porn? Or do you want to watch something longer than 15 seconds?

      some manly man films:

      Sorcerer
      Zulu
      To Live and Die in L.A.
      North Face
      The French Connection
      The Road Warrior

      1. I heard they made a fourth Indiana Jones movie. You could investigate that for the rest of us.

        1. you are incorrect. that never happened.

    3. The Sessions with Helen Hunt. She spends a good deal of the movie naked.

      1. You are truly a depraved and vile human being.

        1. Sloopy – remember, Bill there is the guy who whacks off out his car window whilst driving fast.

          1. Yeah, I had forgotten about that.

            Hey Bill, are you using the computer at the county jail or did you make bail already?

          2. Don’t knock speedjacking until you’ve tried it.

    4. I am evangelizing this lately:

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064866/

      Obscure Brando film. Maybe his best performance. Cool political content.

      1. I still swear by Mutiny On The Bounty, but Burn! was a solid movie.

        1. It’s the movie for Brando that is like The Hill is for Sean Connery – where you see it and you’re like, “How the fuck did I never hear of this movie until now?”

          I guess that’s another movie I’d put on the list. Total guy film in the Breaker Morant mode.

        2. or Mel Gibson in “The Bounty” – perfect for cold weather. And the multitude of boobs.

          1. I am in hell, sir!

        3. I happen not to be a Brando fan. The ’35 version of Mutiny on the Bounty is worth watching, though. Charles Laughton is great. Laughton also did an outstanding job directing Night of the Hunter, too. (Watch for Peter Graves in a small role.)

      2. Last Tango in Paris

        1. Get the butter.

    5. Anything with Hitomi Tanaka in it. Search results gloriously NSFW.

    6. Ted, the unrated version.

      Or go real classic – Lawrence of Arabia.

      1. Or go real classic – Lawrence of Arabia.

        Sh’s going to a baby shower, not away for the whole weekend.

        1. You know long those broads would be gibble gabbling and whatever the wimminz do when they baby shower?! You could at least make it through the Jose Ferrier part.

          Beat him *cough cough*

      2. +1 for LoA

      3. I’m unrated? Oh, you mean that movie from last year about the guy whose teddy bear grows up with him.

        I’m also sorry to say I find Lawrence of Arabia overrated and much much too long.

        1. I like the movie quite a bit–I’m generally a David Lean fan–but one criticism you can level at it is that it’s not very accurate, historically.

          I recently read Hero: The Life and Legend of Lawrence of Arabia, by Michael Korda, which was pretty good. Lawrence was far weirder than portrayed in the movie.

          1. —“Lawrence was far weirder than portrayed in the movie.”—

            Later in his life, after returning to England, he would pay young men to beat him up. A result of his experiences with the Turkish Bey. He also joined the early RAF and insisted that he be an enlisted man, not an officer. He went by the rank/name “aircraftman Ross”. He also did some military work with some type of powerboats.

            Definitely a little weird at the end.

            1. Yep, that’s what I was thinking about. I’d never heard any of that before.

          2. They hinted at it, a little, but this was 1962(?) still, right?

            1. Yes, and that’s a valid point.

    7. Debbie does Dallas. It’s old, but a classic.

    8. Forget the movies. Play Amnesia: The Dark Descent on your PC and crap your pants.

      1. the Anal Thread is above.

      2. That is a pretty nifty game there.

        Amnesia, not the shit your pants game.

        1. I never finished the game because I’m to scared to continue playing it.

    9. Yeah, I’ve got a recommendation: total fucking badass testosterone-fest.

      I fucking love this movie. One of the all-time best of the genre, if not the best.

    10. Since she’s at a baby shower, I’d suggest The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek.

      Probably how you got your wife knocked up, too, isn’t it?

    11. I just watched Das Boot again. Awesome.

      1. That is one of the best movies no one saw. I especially like the subtitled version, not the dubbed one. For some reason hearing the German makes it feel more claustrophobic.

        1. I’ve seen pretty much every version of that film–dubbed and subtitled, original release, miniseries, and director’s cut–and I own the book it’s based on. Just an amazingly well done movie.

        2. I’m not sure no one saw it. It was pretty popular when I was younger–it must’ve done pretty well on cable and in video/DVD.

        3. Oh, I think Das Boot has been viewed a lot more than people would think. It’s a cinematic masterpiece (thank you, Wolfgang Peterson) that easily translates to most any culture.

          And it’s one of the few movies where the Directors Cut (read: extended version) adds to the film in a huge way.

          One of my favorites for gripping suspense and brilliant acting. Prochnow deserved a Best Actor Oscar for it.*

          *But not for his reprised role in Beerfest.

          1. Oh, disregard my question below.

            I read something that said that he shot positively Kubrickian quantities of film, which is how they could get a much longer miniseries out of the film.

            1. I wonder if he did the same with Troy? That was such a good film in my opinion. I’d love to see the entire miniseries version with that cast.*

              * I may catch hell on this one, but it was the best epic since Braveheart.

              1. I tried to like Troy, but I think Petersen screwed up leaving out the gods.

                1. Wasn’t that the point? To make the movie from the humans’ perspective.

                  1. Crap, I just enetherized my response to you. To sum up, I’d have skipped The Iliad altogether and gone with a new story about Greeks attacking Asia Minor, if I didn’t want the gods.

                    Homer’s epic is about humans primarily, but the gods are a critical element. It just doesn’t work the same way without that. And part of the whole business with Achilles is that he’s totally about honor, to the point where he’s giving up immortality to have it (which was known background to the Greek audience though not stated in the story).

              2. It’s easy to pick apart Braveheart now, but when it came out? Wow. Easily one of the best movies made. Still one of my favorites.

                1. It’s a really good movie, though very inaccurate historically. Patrick McGoohan was great in that, too.

                  1. very inaccurate historically

                    You mean like the Battle of Stirling Bridge without the bridge, or the river?

                    But yeah, still a good movie.

                    1. There are loads of errors, from suggesting that Wallace wasn’t a member of the nobility to the whole fucking the queen-to-be business, but it’s still a fine film.

              3. I may catch hell on this one, but it was the best epic since Braveheart.

                If I point out that you’re worse than Hitler, does that count as “catching hell”?

    12. a night by myself is typically a zombie-night for me. and that’s a longer discussion.

      that, or Empire.

    13. The Hit (1984).
      Highway Patrolman (1991).
      Manhunter (1986).

    14. 13th Warrior

      1. I’ve heard that was bad-good before and haven’t seen it.

        1. It’s not even bad-good.

          It’s just good.

          Incredibly great Crichton concept (probably his third best after Jurassic Park and Andromeda Strain), decent action, mood, atmosphere, the works.

          And it has FUCKING VIKINGS, man.

          1. I agree with Fluffy.

          2. Very well, then, I will partake.

          3. “I cannot lift this..”

            “Grow stronger then!”

          4. I’ll take it a step further, it is fucking awesome, literally one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time.

      2. Lo, there do I see my father…

    15. “Room in Rome.” Streaming on NetFlix. Just make sure your wife doesn’t see your viewing history.

    16. DUNE is always a good call, or my fav Apocalypse Now! Redux. The extended version rounds out the narrative. The cinematography is perfect. Easily the best film of the 1970’s.

  40. Some artifacts from the JFK assassination that have never been displayed before

    His Brains! (sorry, too soon?)

    1. Didn’t Marilyn suck his brains out?

      1. +1 golf ball through gardenhose

  41. The price of Bitcoins has plunged more than 75% in the past two days, sparking a rush of activity that overwhelmed trading platforms and suggested the bubble in the virtual currency has burst.

    Bitcoins were down to $61.11 as of 9 a.m. ET Friday. Prices reached as high as $266 per Bitcoin around 7:30 a.m. ET Wednesday. But the price started to fall through the rest of day and Thursday morning.

    At about 10 a.m. ET Thursday, trading was halted on Mt.Gox, a Japan-based exchange that claims to handle 80% of Bitcoin trade worldwide. The price at that time was already at about $123, down more than 50% from the peak.

    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/…..00786.html

    1. Who was the guy here talking about shorting them on like Tuesday? Did he pull it off?

  42. Anyone have some good guy-night-at-home movie recommendations?

    The Duellists.

    1. Once Upon a Time in America (long version) is truly the greatest mob movie ever made.

      Of course, DeNiro is in it.

    2. I like that one. That’s Ridley Scott’s first feature film, isn’t it?

      1. I haven’t seen it yet myself, but I really want to, because it’s based on an excellent short story.

        1. As is most anything by Joseph Conrad, of course, but I meant the movie.

          1. Yeah, I’ve heard very good things. And all hail Conrad!

              1. The horror!

  43. Washington Post health policy reporter Sarah Kliff won’t cover “local crime” stories like baby-killing abortion Doc Gosnell’s trial. She focuses instead on national stories about Komen, Fluke and Akin.

    “And what policies could possibly be under discussion with this Gosnell trial? Other than, you know, abortion clinic hiring practices? And enforcement of sanitary conditions? And laws on abortion practices that extend to killing live infants by beheading them? And the killing of their mothers? And state or federal oversight of clinics with records of botched abortions? And pain medication practices? And how to handle the racist practices of some clinics? And how big of a problem this is (don’t tell anyone but another clinic nearby to Gosnell was shut down this week over similar sanitation concerns)? And disposal of babies’ bodies? And discussion of whether it’s cool to snip baby’s spines after they’re born? And how often are abortion clinics inspected anyway? What are the results of inspections? When emergency rooms take in victims of botched abortions, do they report that? How did this clinic go 17 years without an inspection? Gosh, I just can’t think of a single health policy angle here. Can you?”

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/g…..-blackout/

    1. It’s impossible to spin this. That’s why there has been a total mainstream media blackout. I mean, this is monstrous. It’s completely indefensible.

      1. but they’re freaking out about VA’s new regs for abortion clinics on door frame sizes and parking lots

        1. Yeah all of a sudden all my lefty acquaintances have discovered that regulations impose costs on businesses.

      2. I’ve heard of this story exactly twice (counting this one). The other was also via Reason a couple of days ago.

        1. Several benches in the courtroom at the Gosnell trial were reserved for media representatives. Empty seat photo!

          http://www.breitbart.com/Big-J…..-Doc-Trial

          Conor Friedersdorf on why the media ought to be covering the story:

          “The grand jury report in the case of Dr. Kermit Gosnell, 72, is among the most horrifying I’ve read. “This case is about a doctor who killed babies and endangered women. What we mean is that he regularly and illegally delivered live, viable babies in the third trimester of pregnancy – and then murdered these newborns by severing their spinal cords with scissors,” it states. “The medical practice by which he carried out this business was a filthy fraud in which he overdosed his patients with dangerous drugs, spread venereal disease among them with infected instruments, perforated their wombs and bowels – and, on at least two occasions, caused their deaths.”…

          “Until Thursday, I wasn’t aware of this story. It has generated sparse coverage in the national media, and while it’s been mentioned in RSS feeds to which I subscribe, I skip past most news items. I still consume a tremendous amount of journalism. Yet had I been asked at a trivia night about the identity of Kermit Gosnell, I would’ve been stumped and helplessly guessed a green Muppet.”

          https://twitter.com/search?q=#Gosnell&src=hash

          1. More from Friedersdorf:

            “One patient died:

            “She was a 41-year-old, refugee who had recently come to the United States from a resettlement camp in Nepal. When she arrived at the clinic, Gosnell, as usual, was not there. Office workers had her sign various forms that she could not read, and then began doping her up. She received repeated unmonitored, unrecorded intravenous injections of Demerol, a sedative seldom used in recent years because of its dangers. Gosnell liked it because it was cheap. After several hours, Mrs. Mongar simply stopped breathing. When employees finally noticed, Gosnell was called in and briefl y attempted to give CPR. He couldn’t use the defibrillator (it was broken); nor did he administer emergency medications that might have restarted her heart. After further crucial delay, paramedics finally arrived, but Mrs.Mongar was probably brain dead before they were even called. In the meantime, the clinic staff hooked up machinery and rearranged her body to make it look like they had been in the midst of a routine, safe abortion procedure.”

            1. Twitter erupts with demands for fuller coverage:

              https://twitter.com/search?q=#Gosnell&src=hash

              1. Hashtag #Gosnell

  44. Ridley Scott’s first feature film, isn’t it?

    Yes. I only know that because I looked it up.

    And you are the second person in recorded history to tell me you’ve seen it.

    1. I’ve seen it – twice!

  45. If you like oldy-but-goody movies, Mister Blandings Builds His Dream House. Or anything else with Myrna Loy in it.

    Also, A Thousand Clowns.

    1. “anything else with Myrna Loy in it.”

      Agreed.

      Mmmm… Myrna Loy!

    2. The Loved One

  46. Aw, shit, just watch Stalag 17 and follow it up with The Great Escape because it’s almost impossible to find two better movies to watch alone as a man than those.

    There, I win. I gave you guys all a chance but I’ve captured the perfect man-alone-movie-night.

    1. Well, no, I don’t agree. If you were a real man, you’d follow those up with The Dirty Dozen, then watch all of the Eastwood spaghetti westerns until dawn.

      1. I found the perfect 5-hour block of man-ness for when a wife goes to a baby shower and you overthink it.

        Besides, if you’re gonna go The Dirty Dozen right after those two, you need to segue into Eastwood with Kelly’s Heroes.

        Sometimes I think they put retardation straight into the water supply in Florida.

        1. I dunno, at least I don’t have a men-in-prison fetish. Not that I’m judging.

        2. Though Kelly’s Heroes rules. That was my first Eastwood film.

    2. Another vote for Stalag 17 – excellent. Also sometime check out “Duel” a 1971 classic by Speilberg with Dennis Weaver.

      1. Duel never made sense to me. Given what he was driving, it should have been a very, very short movie.

  47. The Loved One

    Holy shit, EXCELLENT. I haven’t seen it in years.

  48. Wait a minute. I’ve got it now. Watch, in this order:
    Stalag 17
    Jaws
    Kelly’s Heroes
    North By Northwest

    7 1/2 hours, which should be enough time to forget where or why your wife left the house in the first place.

    1. By the way, have you seen Das Boot?

      1. At least 20 times. It’s one of the five best war movies ever made.

        1. Agreed, and definitely the best sub movie–by far. In fact, I’d be scared to make one, especially set in WWII, at all, in fear of the comparisons.

          Say, has anyone ever done a WWI sub movie? If not, that would be cool.

        2. Has anyone mentioned The Cross of Iron yet? Awesome dude-night-alone movie.

          1. I’m assuming by the title this is a German butt-porn movie?

            1. WWII, natch. It’s awesome.

          2. Do you mean the Richard Burton film?

            1. Sam Peckinpah

    2. Kelly’s Heroes is why I took German in high school. I wanted to know what they were saying.

    3. Don’t forget The Great Escape. I don’t think there is an upper bound to the number of times that movie can be enjoyed.

      1. It’s great and has a cast of thousands.

      2. I loved this.

  49. I’ve always liked The Odessa File, by the way. Voight used to be one hell of an actor.

    1. That is a great movie. So is Three Days of the Condor. I love 1970s spy flicks.

  50. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/…..-in-utero/

    Babies found to start to understand language while in the womb. Tell me again how science isn’t settling the abortion debate?

    1. check out the first comment on that

      1. Ha!

        DerwoodMidwest
        Referring to fetuses as “babies” is a pernicious tactic in the War on Women. This research–and the author reporting on it–have an abundantly clear agenda: to legitimate attempts to limit women’s Right to Choose.
        Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:41 a.m.

        1. Derwood? Okay, that’s funny.

    2. Um no that is not settling the abortion debate as beginning to understand language is not a sufficient condition for granting human rights, if it were then killing a dog would be murder.

      Science can help us to assess what capabilities are developed by any given gestational development stage, what it cannot do is define which sets of capabilities are required to grant human rights as that is a purely personal and subjective position

      1. So having human DNA, being created by two humans and understanding of language doesn’t make you human? It is not just the language, it is the totality of the circumstances.

        1. it is the totality of the circumstances.

          Shouldn’t you have ended your post with “hth”?

        2. I didn’t say it “Made you human” I said it does not answer the question of at what point human rights are granted.

          Chimpanzees have better than 99% human DNA and are capable of understanding human language, why are they not granted human rights?

          What happens when we create an actually sentient AI, it will be able to comprehend speech and will have been created by humans, why will it not have human rights?

          Further, even if we were to get 100% buy in that those were the 3 criteria necessary for human rights, that would only rule out some later term (late 2nd and 3rd trimester) abortions, not all. A Fetus at 15 weeks would still not have begun to develop the capacity to comprehend speech and therefore would not meet all 3 criteria.

          1. Exactly what are you doing beyond drawing arbitrary lines here? You keep talking about what is necessary for human rights, but you really can’t give any reason why this or that is necessary other than you like it that way.

            1. No actually that is exactly my point.

              I am not drawing ANY lines, I am pointing out that no matter what criteria you define or where you draw any lines you will produce a flawed result and logical inconsistancies.

              Why? Because the very nature of the question is subjective. There is ultimately no universal reason why we should not kill each other that does not rest on faith in something (could be god, could be just your own personal judgement).

              Ultimately I think the only reasonable compromise is…

              Any Fetus developed enough for survival outside the womb without heroic medical intervention should not be aborted (~30 weeks), if the mother wishes to terminate the pregnancy past that point then labor should be induced or a C-section performed.

              Any fetus capable of surviving ex utero with the aid of heroic medical intervention (From ~20 weeks to ~30 weeks) should not be aborted if there is anyone willing to pay for the medical care.

              Prior to the Fetus’s ability to survive ex utero abortion is the mothers choice.

              Is there any logical reason behind these lines? No, none whatsoever, I just think this best balances the competing values and beliefs involved in the issue

              1. “There is ultimately no universal reason why we should not kill each other that does not rest on faith in something (could be god, could be just your own personal judgement).”

                Did you just give a pro-religion argument? Sounds like it.

                There is ultimately no universal reason why the government shouldn’t arbitrarily take our stuff, drone-strike us, deny us fair trials, etc.

                If it takes faith in God (or rights with we are “endowed by our Creator”), to protect human rights, then so be it.

                1. No not really, it could in theory be used to support the general idea of having some sort of religion (and for these purposes I am defining religion as a set of beliefs which cannot be proven either scientifically or logically adhered to out of faith alone), however a similar argument can be used to refute any specific religion save for Deism.

                  Ultimately however it is merely a rejection of the Objectivist belief that first principals can be scientifically derived from nature and a moral system logically extrapolated from there.

            2. Neither can you. How does human DNA and parentage give you rights? Having rights or not is not a scientific proposition.

        3. It makes you human if that is what you mean by human. You are just begging the question.

  51. I always enjoy your tube amp posts my Lord H. They remind me I have some old tube amps in storage that I should revive sometime.

  52. I’m still too depressed about the Hakkens case to care about anything else.

    The more I reread the news reports the more convinced I am that these people didn’t do anything wrong but get busted smoking weed by the wrong cop. There’s not even a clear allegation by the cops that they were suicidal or threatening to harm the kids. The press release just says they were acting strange and babbling about wierd shit in a way that “alarmed” officers. Whatever that means.

    I hope some lawyer takes their case pro-bono and soon. This is the boot stomping on a human face. The nameless faceless bureucratic machine grinding up a family because that’s how the system works. That what it does. Everyone follows their fucking orders and works their cases, and some innocent family gets destroyed. Punish them for every attempt to resist, punish them worse for every attempt to get their kids back. And nobody asks if the kids were ever in any actual danger or ever actually being abused or neglected. Attempts to get them back are just more evidence that they must be unfit parents.

    1. After reading about the grandparents’ press even in the Mail the other day I was too depressed to keep going with the story. Grandma and Grandpa smiling and happy and talking about how great the kids are, and no mention of why they actually think they should have been stolen from their daughter? Something is not right there, and no one seems to care about reporting on it.

      1. Riggs just told me on Twitter that he’s probably going to do further reporting on this.

        1. I hope so.
          Good luck getting past the stonewalling by the LA CPS and police though.

          This might take a FOIA request to get any more info on.

          I see the MSM has already forgotten about them now that they have their “happy” ending with the kids “safely” back in grandma’s hands.
          They obviously assigned their feel-good story editors to this.

          1. I know. Ugh. He said he will definitely be reporting on a hearing that is scheduled for Monday.

  53. Punish them for every attempt to resist

    The ultimate crime against the State.

    Whom did they harm? Did they kill anyone? Cause physical harm? Robbery? Mayhem?

    They recovered their biological children and LEFT THE FUCKING CO9UNTRY.

    Go. Goodbye. Don’t come back. Happy trails.

    1. You missed that part about how the Cuban government found them and sent them back ot the US?

      They’re in prison now.
      They’re never going to see their kids again.

      1. I haven’t followed it all that closely, but the story I read said they may never see the outside of prison again.

  54. At the Knob Creek MG shoot. Somewhat less ammo is being burned here than normal. At $600-$800 a case for 5.56mm ammo, it’s not hard to guess why.

  55. he’s probably going to do further reporting on this.

    I hope so. This is one which should not be allowed to fall through the cracks.

  56. You missed that part about how the Cuban government found them and sent them back ot the US?

    I did not miss that.

    Once they cleared U S territorial waters*, they should have been free. But the feds couldn’t allow that.

    That’s the whole point.

    *Every body of water on the entire planet is classified as “U S territorial waters”.

    1. Yes. I recall some other countries that would stop their own citizens from fleeing.

    2. “*Every body of water on the entire planet is classified as “U S territorial waters”.

      The US Navy, a global force for good

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