A.M. Links: Campaigner-in-Chief Campaigning Again, Prison Company Withdraws From Stadium Naming Deal, U.S. May Sanction Pakistan Over Deal With Iran

|

  • still nameable
    jerseydem/wikipedia

    President Obama is in Colorado campaigning for gun control.

  • Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford won his GOP House primary yesterday.
  • The GEO Group, a private prison company, withdrew from a deal to name Florida Atlantic University's football stadium after it sparked protests.
  • The U.S. is considering imposing sanctions on Pakistan for a $7 billion pipeline deal the country made with Iran.
  • Cyprus has agreed to a $12.8 billion bailout that includes a doubling of tax on interest income and a hike in the corporate tax rate.
  • The British government says it won't cut the minimum wage despite complaints from small businesses, but it may freeze it.
  • South Korea's defense minister says military action is an option in response to North Korea's threats.
  • A Saudi man who stabbed his best friend ten years ago, when he was 14, was sentenced by a court to be paralyzed, just like his victim.

Follow Reason 24/7 on Twitter!

Follow Reason on Twitter too, and like us on Facebook. You can also get the top stories mailed to you—sign up here.

Have a news tip? Send it to us!

The updated Reason app for Apple and Android now includes Reason 24/7!

NEXT: Danish Schools Closed for Second Day

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Cyprus has agreed to a $12.8 billion bailout that includes a doubling of tax on interest income and a hike in the corporate tax rate.

    So yeah, economic recovery is right around the corner.

    1. Luckily they don’t have Republicans interfering with much needed tax increases and imposing crippling austerity that would slow the rate of growth of spending.

      /Krugnuts

      1. So Cyrpus is going to wind up like California?

          1. Detroit. There, I said it.

            1. RAAAAACIST

    2. The stock markets in Italy, Spain, Greece and Portugal are getting hammered today.

      1. Totally unrelated I’m sure.

      2. Let the PIGS die.

        1. Two “I’s”. PIIGS. Portugal, Italy, Ireland, Greece, and Spain.

          1. Ireland is almost sure to vote themselves out of there in the next year or so.

            1. If they do vote that way, should they be let out of the EU? It’s clear that’s now that the Irish really want. That will be clear when the vote is held a few more times, until they pick the right choice.

    3. Remember, when European countries implement so-called austerity it is mostly about raising tax rates for individuals and corporations.

      1. Well, that makes things a little more austere, right? Just not for the gov…

  2. Utah fugitive survivalist is captured.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..S-run.html

    1. that “sheriff” sure isn’t dressed like one.

  3. Solyandra 2.0

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/a…..a-2-0.html

    1. There was a hole in the venture capital market, said the program’s boosters, and the government was needed to fill it.

      Bullshit. If companies like Solyndra and Fisker had products that there was a market for and decent business plans they wouldn’t have had any problems getting venture capital.

      1. ^THIS^

        Beat me to it. I want to slap all my hippy friends when they tell me that the government NEEDS to invest in solar and wind and stuff so that it has a chance to prove itself.

        If it were an economically viable product, there would be money flooding in to get in at the ground floor. Mark my words, if someone comes up with an alternative energy source that is as economical (or more so) as fossil fuels or nuclear, millions will be dumped into it by the private sector and billionaires will be made.

        1. They just don’t understand how business works. They’re fantastically ignorant, and yet they have billions of money to throw around on their personal obsessions.

          1. they have billions of other people’s money to throw around on their personal obsessions

        2. But, but, THE INTERNET!

          seriously, the only government technologies that ever seem to drive innovation are the ones designed specifically for the problems of war…the real kind, not the made up kind like on drugs or poverty.

      2. There was a hole in the venture capital market, said the program’s boosters, and the government was needed to fill it.

        Sure,

        The hole was that no (mean) investors wanted to fund the non viable fantasies of politically connected people.

        Only the government is willing to do that.

  4. Has Hayden Panettiere (save the cheerleader save the world) gotten a boob job?
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ikini.html
    Please examine the pictures very carefully and decide for yourself.

    1. She’s been eating too many cheeseburgers. But yes, it does look like she had her boobs done as the cleavage looks effed up.

      1. I dunno. I like how small her bikini bottom is. She should go with that.

    2. See that dent in her right boob? Definite side-effect of boob jobbage.

    3. She probably had to have boob surgery because Klitschko ripped the old ones off when they were still knocking boots.

      Also, how crazy is it that lil Hayden Panettiere was the white coach’s daughter in Remember the Titans? Every time I watch that movie I’m shocked by that fact.

      1. They’re engaged again, so watch your mouth.

        1. Hayden Panettiere is engaged to the Will Patton?

    4. I’m inclined to say no because even though they’re bigger they still look natural.

      1. Frumpy, Dumpy, and Lumpy, all rolled into one!

        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..dress.html

        1. Sweet, thanks for that.

      2. It’s not natural for women to have a big ol’ dent in their cleavage.

        1. It is when I’m done with them.

          1. What you do with them isn’t strictly “natural”, I’m guessing.

            1. I am as the Lord made me.

              1. Warty snickers at your pretensions.

        2. Also, as the captions point out, ripples. I’ve never seen natural boobs that have ripples in them, only saline implants do that.

    5. See, THIS is what makes Reason the #1 news site. Where else could you get economic disaster, election news, gun control, middle east justice news, AND celebrity boob jobs on the SAME PAGE.

        1. Fair enough. But, I bet the DM doesn’t provide the brilliant comments by readers which Reason does.

    6. Don’t do that to boobs. They don’t deserve that.

      1. The worst part is that they looked fine to begin with.

        1. This could be said of most celebrity plastic surgery and much of it in general. Look at Megan Fox. She was hot before she started getting work done. By the time she’s 40, she’s going to look like Michael Jackson with tits.

    7. My professional specialty these days is silicone chemistry (seriously). This one screams for my attention.

    8. That’s the first thing I thought when I saw the pic in Daily Fail yesterday. Which would be a bit surprising since her bosoms were a decent size for her body to begin with. She’s only what, about 5’2″?

    9. Natural or not, they’re gross.

    10. I say not a boob job. In the first picture she is only nineteen and it is not that unheard of for women to add another bra size, especially when adding some weight, in Hayden s case about fifteen sexy well defined pounds. Also, the fact they are slightly mismatched, that ocurs more often in nature than the operating table.

      Plus plus on the below the pube line hanging bottoms. Girls, do it! We love that more than anything if you have a well defined tummy like Hayden s.

      1. Add another bra size in their college years, I meant to specify.

  5. I know you’re British and all, but please, for the love of God, FIX YOUR FUCKING TEETH!
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..o-jet.html

    1. She’s not only British, she’s a Jagger. You can’t fix that.

      1. BTFD….her dentist is Tony Robbins.

        1. She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

    2. I have a sudden craving for Chicklets.

  6. The British government says it won’t cut the minimum wage despite complaints from small businesses, but it may freeze it.

    Did the Brits learn that no job is better than lower paid employment from us or did we learn it from them?

    1. Cutting increases in spending is the same thing as actually cutting spending, duh.

  7. Her only real claim to fame is being dumped by Leo.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..pooch.html
    Still, that’s one heck of a bod.

  8. A Saudi man who stabbed his best friend ten years ago, when he was 14, was sentenced by a court to be paralyzed, just like his victim.

    That’s a conviction he won’t walk away from.

      1. Well if he’s got anything important left to do, he’d better hop to it.

        1. OK, now you are on the list.

    1. …stabbed … best friend

      I think those two things are mutually exclusive.

      1. Come on, don’t tell me you’ve never been goofing off with your friend and accidentally stabbed him.

        1. At that age we used to burn each other with ballpoint pens, rather than stab each other in the spine.

    2. So if you got caught selling cannabis you’d be forced to buy some I guess?

  9. Someone thinks that Courtney Love is going to be helpful in an advertizing campaign? Seriously?
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..paign.html

    1. For divorce lawyers, or a VD clinic…

    2. Does the E-Cig she’s promoting dispense heroine?

    3. I won’t give it away, because playing the guessing game is fun, but energy drink shots wasn’t the right answer.

    4. Somebody should use her image in an ad for a suicide prevention hotline.

      1. That would be one way to get rid of all the suicidal people.

        1. But what to do with all the bodies?

    5. What was that thing where like D&G would pay Snooki to walk around with a Gucci handbag?

      Maybe this is like that.

  10. Still have no plans to see ‘Shake It Up.’
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-city.html

    1. What do you have against Shake It Up?

      1. I have never been abel to solve the mystery of Ric Ocasek and Paulina Poriskova.

        1. $$$$$$$$$

          1. There are many, many, many, many other rockers (and non-rockers) who are way, way , way richer than Ric Ocasek. Believe me, I thought out every possibility, and there is just simply no answer.

            1. Maybe he’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.

              1. Maybe his nickname is Tripod and she just liked sassing him.

              2. hoopy frood.

                1. A frood from West Virginia?

            2. At the time, the Cars were HUGE.

        2. *able

        3. They are both Czechs, giving them a common language and cultural background. He was probably a cure for her homesickness.

          1. Ocas is tail in Czech, so ocasek is little tail.

            1. Now there’s a sexy pickup line…

      2. Dear Zod, they went to hell about halfway through Panorama.

    2. Will not age well.

      When you look “mature” at age 15, you are going to look “mature” at age 27 as well.

      And thats not going to be a good thing.

    3. My 9 y.o. son watches it religiously. He also can’t wait till my older daughter starts all-girl Catholic high school.

      Puberty isn’t going to go well.

  11. I just put this on my “Lotto Ticket Purchase List”

    http://sports.nationalpost.com…..golf-cart/

  12. The days when flying didn’t suck.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..p-Air.html

    1. The days when flying cost as much as a Cadillac.

      1. I swear this comment wasn’t here when I posted. Damn you server squirrels!

      2. I was waiting in line in Charlotte to board a plane a couple of weeks ago, when the talkative guy who wouldn’t shut up about his US Airways Silver status (I’m Star Alliance Gold–the look on his face when I got to go before him was funny) wondered loudly whatever happened to free meals and legroom in the good old days of flying. I said, “$400 tickets across country is what happened.”

        1. A plane is just a bus with wings. If it leaves on time and arrives on time, you’ve gotten everything you bought for the price of the ticket.

          1. Basically this. If you want service and good food and drinks, fly Virgin. If you want to get somewhere inexpensively, suck it up and fly someone else.

            1. No, no, we all need to pay quadruple the current price so that proglodytes can steep in nostalgia about the days when the gubmint told what you were going to pay and the prols took the bus.

              Seriously. If you want that level of service, then fucking buy a 1st Class ticket and STFU already.

      3. When people criticize Southwest as the “Greyhound of the Sky”, I fail to see the problem.

        I hate travel. Im not going to enjoy it anyway, so it might as well be cheap.

        1. Fuck, just one minute too late.

    2. Those were also the days when flying was insanely expensive.

    3. We here at Minority Free Airlines would like to welcome you…

  13. The U.S. is considering imposing sanctions on Pakistan for a $7 billion pipeline deal the country made with Iran.

    dateline: Keystone, Pakistan.

  14. Rare pictures of pinup queen Bettie Page accused of inciting juvenile delinquency in the 1950s to be auctioned off

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..d-off.html

    1. Inciting Juvenile delinquency? I’ve always just called it “giving me a boner.”

  15. The U.S. is considering imposing sanctions on Pakistan for a $7 billion pipeline deal the country made with Iran.

    You know what they plan to send through that pipe? Nukes.

    1. Sounds like a job for Mario.

      No, better make it Super Mario.

    2. Uranium hexafluoride gas?

  16. http://pjmedia.com/eddriscoll/…..to-know-3/

    Turns out Karl Marx was just like so many of his followers: stinky and incapable of functioning without parental subsidy.

    1. This is my surprised face o_o

    2. You left out “plaigarist”.

      Yet academia lionizes the fat no talent deadbeat fuck.

      1. Regrettably I am a “Spellist”!

        …..plaigarist

  17. http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..ml?hpid=z1\

    What could possibly go wrong?

    1. Damnit Scotty, we need more credit!

      1. I cannae change the laws of economics!

    2. How do you “push” banks to do something that was just proven to be a bad business practice not more than 10 years ago?

      What incentive/punishment is on the line that banks will actually risk taking on these bad investments again?

      1. Bailouts.

        1. “Free” money!!!

          1. Fairness. Or bubble reinflation to save my presidency. Derp.

      2. Well banks don’t make lending decisions, people who work at banks do and they do not always have the best interests of the bank foremost on their minds.

        It is simply a matter of designing a system which rewards those people for making large numbers of loans without considering the quality of said loans while simultaneously shielding them from possible negative consequences should anything go wrong.

      3. Because fuck you, that’s why?

    3. Wait, on Wingnut.com they say that there is some sort of law that FORCES banks to make loans to people with weak credit.

      1. Shreeky….call Glenn…he is all knowing, all seeing…all forgiving! He’ll welcome you back into the fold.

        He waits for you in infinite love.

        PS: CHRISTFAG

      2. Yes, because we all know how rightwing the Washington Post is.

    4. Damn fucking banks. Always making bad loans that jeopardize the economy while not loaning enough money to poor people.

      If I was a bank exec, I couldn’t imagine meeting with a politician while sober.

  18. Obama, fooled twice, shame on on us.

    1. Oh, damn it. F’n tablet.

      A Saudi man who stabbed his best friend ten years ago, when he was 14, was sentenced by a court to be paralyzed, just like his victim.

      Wonder if they apply the same logic to rape? And who gets to be “executioner”?

      1. Wonder if they apply the same logic to rape? And who gets to be “executioner”?

        Is rape a crime in Saudi Arabia? I mean they don’t even consider women to be people so…

        1. I think it’s a crime against the man who “owns” the female in question. (Husband, brother, father).

          1. That’s pretty much how rape laws worked in the rest of the world until about the 1970s

      2. Would anything have become of this if he had stabbed his sister and paralyzed her because she dared to allow another boy to look at and speak to her?

        1. Yes, 20 lashes for not killing her.

      3. I think the previous comment was better. :-p

      4. I wonder if logic extends to selling narcotics and gets to eat the acid?

        1. “who” gets to eat the acid

  19. The GEO Group, a private prison company, withdrew from a deal to name Florida Atlantic University’s football stadium after it sparked protests.

    Longest Yard Stadium.

    1. I was reminded of the sponsor in the “Bad News Bears’ – Chico’s Bail Bonds.

      1. Weyland-Yutani: Building Better Teams

    2. I can see why people wouldn’t want a stadium named after GEO.

  20. Everyone remembers how President Barack threw out the first pitch (two years in a row)? And that’s when we learned that our “jock president” is actually, y’know, a huge pussy.

    You know who’s NOT a huge pussy?

    That’s right– Geddy fuckin Lee.

    http://www.baseballnation.com/…..-blue-jays

    Second picture

    1. Obama is like that dad teaching his kid how to throw the ball in the car commercial, except way worse at throwing a ball.

      Did you guys see he went 2 for 22 on jump shots during the White House Easter day events? He’s more stubborn than Kevin Costner in Tin Cup.

    2. Too be fair, playing bass guitar as well as Geddy does requires a ton of natural athletic ability and hand-eye coordination so I’m not surprised he could precisely deliver a pitch in the strike zone.

      1. “and hand-eye coordination”

        I have played for more than 40 years and stopped looking at my hands about 30 years ago. If you have to watch your hands, you’ll only go so far.

    3. And he even threw from the rubber. Awesome.

    4. God damn fucking gifs as a substitute for video.

    5. On another note, I was flipping through my MLB ExtraInnings channels and ended up watching Yu Darvish retire his 25th and 26th straight batters, only to have the 27th batter breakup his perfect game and no hitter on the first pitch. Would have been an awesomes start to the season.

      1. Mussina did that against the Sox like a decade ago. I think it’s actually less common to have a perfecto broken up in the 9th than to finish it off.

      2. Same here. Saw the 9th as well. That has the be an awful feeling for an otherwise outstanding performance.

        1. Honestly, I think he was so gassed, he was glad he was going to get pulled.

    6. If you can’t throw a strike, don’t throw the opening pitch. I don’t care if you’re Zombie Albert Einstein.

      1. Throwing a strike isnt a necessity, even pitchers cant always pull that off. Throwing a respectable pitch is though.

        And if you can throw the ball 60 feet 6 inches, dont take the rubber, throw from in front of the mound.

        1. A fucking strike, do you hear me? There’s no batter to worry about, for the love of Pete.

        2. if you CANT

          typing hard.

    7. Obama is a whitish nerd and a shitty athlete.

      You guys nailed it.

    8. “And the men who hold high places must be the ones who start…the game with a ceremonial first pitch”

      LOL

    9. Good throw for a 60 year old man. But that swing is atrocious.

    10. 15 days.

      Im still hoping they play 2112 in its entirety. And give Jann Wenner a middle finger while doing it.

      1. That would be awesome, but I wish they’d play Anthem in its entirety. It’s only one song, and Geddy probably couldn’t sing it right anymore, but that song is the essence of Rush. More recent lyrics have softened the anarchist tone of early Rush, but it still runs as a deep undercurrent.

      2. The tour before last, they played all of Moving Pictures. Though, of course, that album had shorter songs.

        1. Yeah, but that is just a Rush concert. Im not sure how long they get for the HOF induction, but Heart and Public Enemy and etc get time too.

          However, if they do the Intro and Temple of Syrinx I will be happy.

          Also, would like to see them do Red Sector A as it will be 3 days after the anniversary of the liberation of Bergen-Belsen.

          1. Personally, I hope they play By-Tor. Just to give a big FU to the Hall.

      1. This. If any of you have Signals, look at the back for all the baseball references. Of course, they’re 30 years old now, and most of them are about the Expos…

        1. Great, great album

          The fawn-eyed girl with sun-browned legs
          Dances on the edge of his dream
          And her voice rings in his ears
          Like the music of the spheres

          The boy lies in the grass, unmoving
          Staring at the sky
          His mother starts to call him
          As a hawk goes soaring by
          The boy pulls down his baseball cap
          And covers up his eyes

  21. I posted a pretty long diatribe on Facebook yesterday, encouraging my friends on the right to stop worrying if homosexuals get married or adopt kids or what people put in their bodies. I encouraged my friends on the left to stop worrying that corporations are allowed to have political speech, that people own guns, and to stop worrying about what people put into their bodies. I tried to mirror the two statements as closely as possible so that it did not seem like I was picking on right or left in particular.

    I got a few likes, but of course the objection came from my friends on the left who said “corporate speech” is not a CULTURE WAR issue; it’s about vast amounts of money going into politics that the average person can’t compete with.

    They have not yet responded to me pointing out that unions contribute far more to political campaigns but no one is calling for their speech to be curbed (myself included, as much as I abhor them), and that due to the Citizens United decision the rise of Super PACs has contributed to more primary challenges than ever before in my lifetime.

    Where’s Episiarch to point out “something something TEAM POLITICS something something”?

    1. I tried this a lot on Facebook. It convinced no one of anything but that my tinfoil hat got torn.

      Hanging around here and drinking heavily ended up as better options. The TEAMs hate cognitive dissonance.

      1. “The TEAMs hate cognitive dissonance.”

        Well, they hate having to acknowledge it, anyway.

    2. You’re missing the point dude. The single biggest check writer to politics over the last 20 years has been the National Education Association. Of the top 20 big money donors over the last 20 years, 15 are unions or explicitly leftist. In percentage terms, they had an overwhelming advantage in big money.

      That’s why they’re pissed. Their hatred and anger of Citizens United is that non leftists will be able to donate lots of money in big chunks.

      1. The NEA and the unions are all about coercion and force. So they are to be applauded by the left.
        Corporations on the other hand are groups of people voluntarily pooling their resources towards a common goal.
        As we all know, whenever anything is done voluntarily, without any threats of violence, then it is immoral and wrong.
        Only force is moral.

        1. I’ve made similar arguments to lefties to which they almost uniformly reply, “I don’t believe you.” It’s not me, friend. It’s these uncomforting facts over here.

      2. Oh, I get that. As hamilton pointed out, most people just don’t like being confronted with the truth or logical outcomes of their beliefs.

        I feel encouraged by the number of people who “like” my posts, as it could indicate they are libertarian leaning, but you can’t really take it any further than that unfortunately.

    3. If SoCons hate gay people so much, shouldn’t they be FOR allowing them to be married? What’s more of a punishment than two people getting married and having to deal with each other day in and day out?

    4. I posted a pretty long diatribe on Facebook yesterday

      There’s your first mistake.

      1. Yes, Ted. We all know you hate Facebook. 😉

  22. State by State Update to Marijuana Decriminalization, Legalization and Reform

    http://www.thedailychronic.net…..nd-reform/

    1. If I click on that do I go on a DEA watchlist? Oh well, I probably already am from reading this site.

  23. Why do miracles “happen with great frequency in Africa, and not here in the USA?” asked a 700 Club patron Ken. “People overseas didn’t go to Ivy League schools,” (Pat) Robertson replied with a chuckle.

    “We are so sophisticated, we think we’ve got everything figured out,” the Christian Broadcasting Network chairman continued. “We know about evolution, we know about Darwin, we know about all these things that says God isn’t real, we know about all this stuff.”

    According to Robertson, it’s the “skepticism and secularism” that is being taught at “the most advanced schools” around the country that is keeping God’s miracles at bay.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/n…..hp?ref=fpb

    1. You still mad at Pat Robertson? How many hookers did he drown?

      1. *blows whistle*
        5 minute penalty, Feeding The Troll

        1. SEE?! SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I AM LATE FROM A MEETING AND CAN’T POST A PSA?

    2. There a plenty of miracles in the USA

      Destroying used car’s made us richer

      Adding more people who can’t pay for medical insurance to an insurance plan lowers premiums.

      Spending more tax money to increase GDP makes us richer even though GDP does not measure wealth.

      1. Well said.

    3. You know, because most people are JUST LIKE Pat Robertson and his 700 Club audience.

      Idiots though they may be, they don’t threaten my liberty any more than one who believes in good government.

      1. The 700 Club is still on?!

        1. I’d have given ‘The PartridgeFamily’ better odds.

      2. They don’t threaten your liberty? Are you nuts?

        They elected a POTUS who rammed the PATRIOT Spy on America Act through, the Iraq War, Medicare Part D, etc – because he said “Jesus is my favorite philosopher”.

        1. And you elected a POTUS who does the exact same shit and worse, and goes to church.

          HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERP

          DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERP

        2. They supported Obama???

        3. They don’t threaten your liberty? Are you nuts?

          Idiots though they may be, they don’t threaten my liberty any more than one who believes in good government.

          You’re still a retard.

          1. Yes, but he’s our retard, so there’s that.

        4. BOOOOOSSSSSHHHHHH!!!11!!!!!!elevntybillion!!!

  24. Former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford won his GOP House primary yesterday.

    His wife couldn’t trust him to keep their vows but SC GOP voters are on board trusting him to represent them. But are House seats not up again until next year?

    1. Getting bitched at for leaving the House seat up is why he went to Argentina in the first place.

    2. No, they have to replace Charleston area Rep. Tim Scott who was promoted by Gov. Haley to the U.S. Senate after the retirement of Jim DeMint.

      1. do’h. this is right. special election in SC early may

        1. Holy shit, I didn’t realize that they were this soon.

          As someone who lived in SC under Sanford’s Gubernorship, I can tell you that the guy is pretty much a libertarian. He had to be a little bit stealth about it, but he was about as libertarian as Jeff Flake or Rand Paul. Yeah, that libertarian. (Unfortunately, in SC’s state government, the state leg has a lot of power to dole out pork. His own GOP legislators would override like 105 out of his 107 line-item appropriations vetoes. disgusting.)

          Sanford’s still a scumbag for leaving his four(4) sons and his HOT wife. it is immoral not to have dirty, jungle, gorilla sex with Jenny Sanford.

          I will never vote for him for Father of the Year. But that ain’t the job.

          People at H&R should send him large checks (if they can afford it).

          1. He might’ve had a decent shot at the White House if he’d kept his pants on.

            1. It might be a nice change to have someone who is that bad at lying in office.

              1. That’s a good standard–only elect people who can’t lie for shit and don’t have the chutzpah to lie badly and try to get away with it.

          2. it is immoral not to have dirty, jungle, gorilla sex with Jenny Sanford.

            In his defense, four sons would argue that he worked her over pretty good before going on to screwing another hot chick. He got greedy.

            1. I was wondering that myself.

              “Oh, Jenny… kiss me with your lipless beak!”

            2. I feel like this picture is better and just as accurate.

              And yes, I do enjoy the companionship of mature ladies. I am not like you, you reprehensible pedophile.

    3. mid terms are 2014.

  25. I think this guy was serious with this being the way he would describe libertarians to children (bold in original):

    Well, Timmy, imagine a world in which there’s only one store for 1000 miles. The store is HUGE. You go there with your Mom. As you are entering the store, so is Mr. Smith, who has come to buy some things he needs. Mr. Smith loves cake, but he’s a terrible baker, so he goes to the store to buy his cake. Mr. Smith notices you and your mom together as you all walk into the store.

    Somehow, you and your mom become separated. At one point, as he is shopping, Mr. Smith sees your mom frantically searching for you. Later, as he is buying his cake at the bakery counter, Mr. Smith sees you crying and asking people if they have seen your mom.

    If Mr. Smith is a libertarian, his first thought is “Thank God this store has not installed a loudspeaker so someone could tell this kid’s mom where he is. That would cost money and raise the price of my cake. AND THAT WOULD BE SO UNFAIR TO ME!!!!!!

    1. That’s when I recognized Smith for the asshole he was.

    2. Actually my first thought is “Poor kid. Better figure out where his mom is.”

      The first thought of a leftist is “Poor kid. Better find a government worker to find the kid’s mother for him”

      1. The first thought of a leftist is “Poor kid. Better find a government worker to find the kid’s mother for him take the kid away and put him in a foster home

        1. Well she did lose him in a store. Clearly she’s neglectful. She should probably be charged criminally.

          1. Tangential:

            Hennepin County left the parents in child-protection limbo until case was dismissed.

            Little Caleb Slaven was quietly sucking his fingers in the back of the ambulance on a sunny August day in 2009, providing some semblance of relief to his terrified mother as they headed to the hospital.

            Moments earlier, the 2-month-old had fallen about 2 feet from his carrier to the concrete patio behind the family’s home in Plymouth, hitting his head on some slate trim.

            Tests at North Memorial Medical Center revealed bleeding on the brain, but no major permanent damage. Julie Slaven, a stay-at-home mom, and her husband, Shawn, a financial analyst for Cargill, figured it would be a few days of observation before the baby returned home, where his brother and sister waited with their grandparents.

            Days later, instead of hospital discharge papers, the Slavens got notice that their son was being placed in emergency protective custody by Hennepin County, based on suspicion of child abuse. It triggered a two-month legal ordeal for the Slavens ? with county officials eventually admitting they made a mistake ? that lays bare the risks and ambiguities of child protection law

            http://www.startribune.com/loc…..67751.html

            1. Why do you hate children?

              Wait, nevermind, don’t answer that. I hate children too and know all the reasons.

            2. Reason #21389278345325 I never wanted kids.

              1. Because you’re a vicious, heartless libertarian who wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation to savagely beat your children?

                Got it!

                1. I want to beat other people’s children all the time. So probably.

                  1. I have children so they can fight over their inheritance by seeing who can treat me the best in my old age.

                    1. I figure that I’ll have more than enough money saved up by the time I’m old to pay people to take good care of me. If I want to see people fight over my money, I’ll go downtown and offer $100 to the winner of a hobo fight. Much more entertaining AND I don’t have to deal with smelly, whiny children.

      2. The proper leftist thought is “we need a new program to make sure no kid EVER EVER gets lost”, whereupon one ignores the lost kid to go home and call one’s congressman.

      3. Actually my first thought is…

        Poor kid, I’d love to help him find his mommy but being a male showing any interest in children who are not biologically related to me could get me branded a child molester so I better mind my own business

      4. HAHA! My thought as well. The libertarian would help the kid find his mom, or tell him to stay put while he goes to find his mom. The progtard’s first instinct is to find an authority figure and assume someone has installed infrastructure for this sort of thing, like overhead speakers, and a detailed protocol for missing children.

        1. The libertarian would help the kid find his mom for a price.

          FTFY

        2. The libertarian would help the kid find his way into the underground monocle factory, never to be seen again

          1. He must be making the monocles incorrectly.

    3. If Mr. Smith is a libertarian, his first thought is “Thank God this store has not installed a loudspeaker so someone could tell this kid’s mom where he is. That would cost money and raise the price of my cake. AND THAT WOULD BE SO UNFAIR TO ME!!!!!!”

      Which level on the Gandhi quote about success is this?

      1. I think it goes: First they ignore you, then they strawman you, then you win. So, we’re at step #2.

    4. Without //insert central authority// no one would ever //insert “good” deed that people already do despite the central authority//.

      Seriously, in modern America can an adult man even approach a small child without getting in trouble?

      1. Nope. And as a parent of a small child I’m mixed on this. The vast majority of the time when adults approach or comment on my kid, it’s totally harmless. But there have been a couple guys who were total creepers. Like make-your-skin-crawl creepers.

        1. I presume the second group were all cops?

        2. Like make-your-skin-crawl creepers

          Hell, I’m an adult male and I run into those from time to time. Creepy people exist and you can’t really avoid them in public. It’s an important life lesson for kids.

    5. My first thought was that

      …imagine a world in which there’s only one store for 1000 miles.

      Sounds like a progressive’s ideal fantasy world.

      1. It better not be a fucking Walmart.

        /progtard

      2. My first reaction too. It is basically the socialist dream. One store for all your needs! No wasteful competition!

    6. His outrage in the edit is adorable.

      1. Upvote.

  26. Obama criticized for using dated, disputed gun stat to sell background checks

    “It is possible to conclude that as few as 20.4% of gun owners in that study ‘purchased’ their gun without a background check”

    No! The science is settled!

    1. So that means 20.4% of all gun owners will go on an assault style Columbine type shooting spree? Dear God.

      1. The gun thing really infuriates me. Assuming that each gun murder was committed by a different person, that means that murderers comprise something like .0001% of all gun owners. Or put another way, 99.9998% of all gun owners didn’t kill someone last year.

        1. But they *could have*, Virginian.

          They COULD HAVE.

          1. As Obama could say,

            It is possible to conclude, that 99.9998% of gun owners could have gone on a rampage.
            .
            But he didn’t. Yet

      2. I wouldn’t go that far, C-fly.

        But at least 40% of the 20.4% will.

        Sobering statistics, are they not?

        1. Dammit, *as many as* 40%.

          1. *much*

            /grammarnazi

            Out.

    2. Obama: “As many as 40% of gun owners purchased their gun without a background check.”

      “As many as 40% includes everything from 0% to 40%.” The president and most other politicians always use weasel words like this. These words are meant to seem like they have meaning, when really they don’t. It’s an art, and one that Obama has nearly perfected.

      1. This.

        And the media basically *never* calls these clowns out on their purposeful disingenuity.

        1. They engage in it themselves.

          1. As much as 90% of all statistics reported by the Obama Administration are randomly generated by the teleprompter.

            1. Shit. I know shit’s bad right now.

      2. I’d bet that most of those people who bought their guns without a background check either were given the guns by a friend or relative or bought them from someone they know well.

      3. The other layer underneath all this discussion of that 40% figure – the survey was done in 1994. At that date the NICS background system had just been started up (and not yet so in all states) so even the 60% of sales which did go through an FFL did not get a background check.

        Besides, this survey was done over the phone at about the time the first AWB had been passed. How many gun owners at that time would happily volunteer truthful information about gun purchases to a stranger over the phone?

    3. During several speeches, Obama has said 40 percent of all gun purchases were made without a background check.

      I’ll go ahead and say that’s factually true. I still don’t see an argument as to why that is a problem.

      1. Because Adam Lanza killed a bunch of innocent children.

        1. Adam Lanza didn’t buy the firearms used in Newtown. He stole them.

          1. You’re confusing intentions and results again.

          2. Note to self: Use less-subtle sarcasm.

            1. Sorry about that Rich. After the exchange with Tulips yesterday I missed the subtlety of your sarcasm.

          3. The government keeps changing their assertions of what Lanza did.

          4. Listen, if we have the ability to save just one child, don’t we have an obligation to do that then?

        2. Still not seeing one.

      2. Freedom means being free from the consequences of your actions. Government is supposed to deny permission to people who cannot be trusted. Thus when people buy guns without first asking permission from the government, they are not free.

    4. I find it annoying that every time the issue of universal background checks or the “gun-show loophole” is brought up in the media there is almost always an implication that all guns sold at gun shows are sold without background checks.

      All kinds of mischief results when talking heads bloviate on issues that neither they nor most of their audience has a clue about.

      “It ain’t so much the things we don’t know that get us into trouble, it’s the things we do know that just ain’t so.”

      Artemus Ward or Josh Billings, depending on your source.

    1. That is an interesting argument.

      Of course, since the bottom three quintiles pay less than 10% of federal taxes a flat rate would still have to be north of 30% to remain revenue neutral.

      Someone cut spending!

      1. *skates to Hit&Run; bench, glares*
        Don’t even think about it.

      2. Of course, since the bottom three quintiles pay less than 10% of federal taxes

        Is this true when you count payroll, excise and the portion of corporate taxes passed on the to the consumer?

        1. Corporations are just sitting on giant piles of money. They don’t pass those tax increases on to consumers.

          [/TEAM BLUE]

  27. Responses from DHS to Senator Coburn on ammo purchases: letter and enclosure.

    Transparency.

  28. President Obama is in Colorado campaigning for gun control.

    And here I though that was fog in the air this morning. Apparently it was a portent of what’s coming.

    1. It’s from teh choom.

    2. I thought the proper term was “gun safety”.

  29. Old news but next time you hear about Korea and how easy it would be for North Korea to destroy Seoul. Remember our idiot military just built a school for kids K-8 at Camp Casey which is north of Seoul. After decades of pointing out how vulnerable that area is to sudden North Korean attack who in their right mind would put an American school for kids there.

    http://www.stripes.com/news/pa…..0-1.113708

    1. Our government?

    2. If we must kill children, why not the children of government agents?

      I mean, John McCain was such a child himself.

      [/sarcasm]

    3. So the military kids just shouldn’t go to school?

      1. How about not having them in a place where the same government says is in constant danger of being attacked.

        Even better, lets also remove their parents from that same camp along with all the troops. Its South Korea, they can be their own tripwire.

        1. Ok. But given that your second suggestion isn’t going to happen right now, it seems like most of the military sent over there would probably prefer to bring their families. In that case, shouldn’t their kids go to school?

          1. Why the hell would you want to bring your family over to join in the looming possibility of death?

      2. Given that the Korean War is still technically going on, kids shouldn’t be accompanying their parents to a war zone.

        1. People are sent there for years at a time. Being away from your children years at a time is not good for familial relationships or marriages.

    4. Feature not a bug.

      DoD planners must be getting worried that a shitload of US casualties from a surprise Nork attack might not be enough to pull us into a war. So they are gonna get a bunch of kids added tot he bodycount.

      1. Dead kids and grieving parents can be used for leverage for more than just gun control.

    5. Don Rumsfeld pointed this out. He wanted to pull all of our troops to the South of the country. All right thinking people were against this move as being too provocative of North Korea. Yes, the Korean peninsula is so insane, the pulling your troops back is considered a provocation.

    6. How else are we going to encourage North Korean gun control if we don’t have some nice dead American kids for Obummer to stand on?

    7. Well, I’d imagine the school is there because the military bases are there exactly because it is close to North Korea.

    8. After decades of pointing out how vulnerable that area is to sudden North Korean attack who in their right mind would put an American school for kids there.

      TOP. MEN.

  30. The GEO Group, a private prison company, withdrew from a deal to name Florida Atlantic University’s football stadium

    There’s plenty of High School stadiums they could name. That would probably be more appropriate anyway. Students at colleges are at least there voluntarily.

  31. Those Courageous Racists

    “White Men Have Much to Discuss About Mass Shootings” read the headline of a piece in the Washington Post’s Outlook section Sunday. Having spent most of our adult life in the opinion journalism business, we are no stranger to the instinct for provocation. But really, Washington Post, this is embarrassing.

    The authors, identical twin sisters called Charlotte and Harriet Childress, “are researchers and consultants on social and political issues,” whatever that means, according to their Post shirttail bio. They have a book called “Clueless at the Top,” which is not an autobiography but a meditation “on outdated hierarchies in American culture,” whatever that means. Their website informs visitors that the twins “received close to a million dollars in grants from the National Science Foundation.”

    The NSF is a federal agency, so your tax dollars have subsidized the authors of what can only be described as a racist rant.

    1. But they were Chinese and therefore brown people. And brown people can’t be racist.

      1. John, you’re being racist. Of course brown people can be racist. Even black people can be racist: just look at Clarence Thomas.

        1. Only if they act white.

          1. Well, obviously.

        2. And Thomas Sowell!

      2. John you make a terrible racist. The Chinese are yellow, not brown.

      3. Chinese? In GIS they sure look like regular white women.

      4. They don’t look too Chinese: http://www.cluelessatthetop.co…..y2005.jpg.

        1. maybe I misread.

    2. This is another example of why the federal government shouldn’t be funding anything beyond defense, immigration and other core government functions. Any federal program, no matter how noble sounding, will eventually be corrupted by leftists. You would think NSF grants would go to science. Instead, they go to racist Chinese to publish racist propaganda.

    3. “Charlotte and Harriet Childress Have Much to Discuss About Mass Shootings Being a Useless Pair of Frumpy Flabby Erection Killers”!

      Godfucking damn we need a fucking bounty on these useless concern trolls!

  32. Having spent most of our adult life in the opinion journalism business

    Just. I don’t even.

    1. I think they’re just being redundant, Kristen. Most journalism is simply opinion anyways.

    1. You’re a funny guy! 😎

      1. Didn’t make, just found it.

    2. I would have also accepted ‘Because bastards don’t get to sit at the cool table.’

      I did notice that change last night and was a bit disappointed that it was changed.

      1. why would they change that? that didn’t make any sense to me.

        1. The only reason I could come up with was because they didn’t want to take the screen time to establish that Mance had been in Winterfell during the feast.

          1. I guess, but just change the dialogue. “i know you jon snow, i saw you at the feast.” “oh, then you know why i’m here.”

            1. Yeah, they would have had to modify it a little, but could have fit it in the amount of time they took with the scene anyway.

          2. GoT is rapidly becoming one of those series in which it’s actually better if you never read the books, because the producers end up going off the reservation over the wierdest stuff (Robb’s marriage, for instance). It doesn’t help that Martin pads his books worse than Dickens.

            Taken on its own merits, the series is fantastic. But if you take the plotlines from the books seriously, it can be pretty irritating when they make these changes.

            1. I had watched the first 2 seasons without having read the books. I’ve now finished the first 3 books, so we’ll see how I feel about watching season 3 before deciding which one I should do first.

              But yeah, some of the changes seem really random. Did the producers maybe think an offscreen matchmaking would annoy viewers too much?

    3. “You haven’t smelled puke until you’ve smelled Dothraki…”

  33. Palmdale, CA deputy shoots kid with toy gun in back. No criminal trial, but the taxpayers will pony up the $1.1M settlement. Jury deadlocked on whether the deputy acted with malice, so the punitive damages segment of the trial will have to be redone.

    The defense was pissed that the judge allowed evidence revealing that the deputy had previously been forced to pay punitive damages in an excessive force case.

    The deputy returned to work after a taxpayer-funded vacation and is again patrolling the streets, possibly looking for gangs of kids playing with pointy sticks to shoot.

    http://www.ourweekly.com/antel…..ting-trial

    1. Second link with settlement info: http://www.scpr.org/blogs/news…..ty-is-awa/

    2. No hesitation! Our brave heroes need to go home at night!

    3. Took me a minute to figure out that the cop wasn’t the one with the toy gun.

  34. http://truth-out.org/buzzflash…..and-profit

    You won’t find anyone willing to dare say it much in the media, but a good percentage of the white men who oppose gun control of any sort–and who back measures that would even allow alleged terrorists and straw purchases for drug dealers to buy guns–are just afraid that without their guns, their phallic power will be reduced to size.

    You can feel at least temporarily reassured when a long-barreled assault weapon compensates for just another average manhood; it’s an irresistable [sic] testosterone high to the beleaguered white male.

    Call this Freudian psychobabble analysis, but when you add it into the mix of just angry white males who want their guns to show that they are still top dog on the political, social and marital hierarchy, you got [sic] a good percentage of the psychologically need gun owners [sic].

    Gee Mark, project much?

    1. If I could fire a 147 grain 9mm jacketed hollowpoint out of my cock at 900 feet per second, I wouldn’t carry a gun.

      1. Mine would come under the long-gun exmptions.

      2. Yes, but who wants to be charged with brandishing a weapon and indecent exposure at the same time?

        End up on the sex offender registry and uh, lose your right to bear arms? What would the latter entail?

        And talk about going off half-cocked?

    2. We tore into this 60’s reject on Monday!

      Look and despair…….

      http://tinyurl.com/I-be-a-loser

    3. I know a few people who use the “if you like guns, you must have a small dick” argument as though it is fact. One of them got a picture of my dick next to my favorite gun for comparison. I haven’t heard him use that comparison lately.

    4. Mark obviously has penis envy like any other emasculated, feminized SWPL dork.

  35. I’ll give you three guesses what a person gets when they back their car into other cars in a bar parking lot an then flee the scene.

    Now I’ll give you what a police officer gets for doing the same thing.

    http://www.twincities.com/minn…..vestigated

    Hint: it rhymes with “Laid Staycation”.

    1. Laid Staycation

      Rhymes with? Or is that exactly what it is?

      1. It’s a “plaid relocation”, duh.

        1. Plaid doesn’t rhyme with Laid.

          1. Only Fist of Etiquette is allowed to beat me to the punch!

            1. I’ve been squatting more. Makes my fingers faster.

              1. With me it’s the direct neural interface with the internet.

                1. Not as long as spam exists. My brain has enough useless shit floating around in it.

                  1. WHERE DO YOU THINK SPAM COMES FROM? BWAHAHAHAHA MAKES A LOT OF SESNE DUDE LOL BWAHAHAHA

        2. I don’t know where Tim is from that “laid” and “plaid” rhyme.

          1. If you understood the rules of poetry you would know that this is a legitimate technique.
            Or maybe I am just bullshaiding.

            1. Tim is correct about the rules of poetry on this.

              1. Like how “far” and “tire” rhyme if you sing country?

    2. I’m curious about the stats on cop domestic violence when on paid leave. Does it get higher than the already egregiously high rates that cops exhibit?

    3. If no one witnessed him behind the wheel, it can’t be proven without a doubt that it was actually him that did it. And it’s not the job of the defense to prove someone else did it. Only to raise reasonable doubt.

      1. Cameras on cops 24/7. After all, if they’re doing nothing wrong, they’ve got nothing to hide.

  36. “Campaigner-in-Chief campaigning again”? I guess you mean, “president seeking to drum up public support for a measure he has sponsored.”

    1. He seems to be a very bad drummer.

      1. pa rumpa pum pum.

    2. How the FUCK does he get to do this on the taxpayer dollar?

      Answer me that, Vanneman, you tool.

      1. That’s the question. Of course he can try to drum up support for whatever he wants. But not a cent of public money should go towards propaganda promoting particular legislation. And that includes security and transportation.

        1. His little publicity trip probably cost more than a year of White House tours.

  37. Sometimes I forget how awesome James Taranto is. Get this commentary on Amanda Marcotte’s rant on early marriage for women.

    Watching conservatives desperately try to bully women into younger marriage with a couple of promises and a whole lot of threats is highly entertaining but clearly not persuasive. Women marry later because it makes sense given their own career aspirations. . . . I’m glad young marriage is working out for Shaw, but for the majority of women, dating and cohabitating until they’re more sure is working out just fine. If he’s good enough to marry, he’ll still be around when you’re ready to make that leap.

    Says Taranto, “That last sentence is a perfect laboratory specimen of feminist rationalization.”

    1. I left out the best part

      Consider the Shaw counterfactual–or, if you like, consider the Kate Bolick factual. The man wants to marry, the woman doesn’t. It happens not infrequently, as members of both sexes are known to pursue suboptimal reproductive strategies.

      The woman rejects the man’s proposal but keeps dating him, or maybe she eventually dumps him, as Bolick did. In due course she changes her mind and decides she would like to spend the rest of her life with him after all. But by that point he’s moved on to someone else, or he’s just gotten fed up and he dumps her.

      Again, here’s Marcotte’s advice for the young woman: “If he’s good enough to marry, he’ll still be around when you’re ready to make that leap.” Let’s translate that from feminist-speak to English: If the romance fails, his inadequacy as a man is entirely to blame; you have no responsibility for making it work.

      If you follow that advice, you’re likely to end up alone. Marcotte seems to imagine it will be a consolation that you’ll be resentful too.

    2. If he’s good enough to marry, some smarter broad will snap him up while you’re still sitting on the pot, Mandy.

    3. Yeah, that is seriously a ruinous piece of advice. If I propose to a girl when she’s 24, and she turns me down, I’m not going to be interested when she hits 30.

      The best piece of advice I saw in the original article that made Marcotte all butthurt was how you can’t control when the one walks into your life.

      1. See the Bolick example Taranto gives. She is the 40 year old broad who wrote the self pity piece last year about how sad she was to see the boyfriend she dumped marrying a younger woman and leaving her alone.

      2. “how you can’t control”

        given her entire worldview is based on control, that’s the problem.

        1. Flip the genders around in Marcotte’s statement. It reads,

          I’m glad young marriage is working out for Shaw, but for the majority of men, dating, sleeping around and cohabitating until they’re more sure is working out just fine. If she’s good enough to marry, she will still be around when you’re ready to make that leap.

          Now imagine the kittens Amanda would have over such statement.

          1. i’d imagine she’ll have a lot as she ages.

            1. Yes. I can’t imagine who would marry her. She is just bloody awful.

              1. I bet the dude in Williamsburg, Brooklyn with the antique chamber pot would marry her.

      3. It was a bizarre experience when I proposed to my girl in the last year of college as all of my “forever alone” nerd friends sat me down to give me serious advice that I was settling down too early. Some of them were 25-year-old virgins.

        1. LOL. That is funny.

  38. I guess if you’re a WV cop, the rules of gun safety don’t apply. What other reason could one have for firing two rounds into the door of a house you don’t know who is in, even after your dispatcher said the situation had resolved itself?

    The cop was never charged and the taxpayers are footing the bill for his wanton disregard for safety.

    BTW, the same officer is facing another civil rights (civil, of course) trial for arresting a woman last year for questioning a ticket given to her son.

    1. He probably thought he heard a dog barking on the other side.

      1. Or Mothman fluttering.

  39. What’s the penalty for jury tampering again? Looks like it’s a suspension for a cop. For a civilian, it typically results in felony charges.

    No word whether the vacation is paid or not.

  40. This article is priceless comedy.

    As cold as March seemed, it was only the 59th coldest March since 1871, according to the Washington Post’s Capital Weather Gang blog. In other words, the month’s frigid temperatures do not disprove the observation that the world is heating up…

    This March’s temperatures contrasted sharply with those seen in March 2012, which was the warmest March on record. In 2012, a mass of hot air developed over the middle of the country, causing unusually high temperatures and fueling an outbreak of tornadoes.

    So, just so we’re clear when the hottest March on record in the US is followed by a March that is colder more than half of all other Marches recorded in the US, this is clear evidence that the world is heating up!

    No, you fucks, that’s not how statistics work. It isn’t even regional evidence of a trend.

    1. Warm temperatures are climate. Cold temperatures are weather, you science denying tea bagger.

    2. Well, to be fair, that only says that it doesn’t disprove anything (at least the excerpt you post). Still pretty pointless and meaningless.

  41. Springettysburg Twp, PA police have a problem on their hands. No, it’s not the rampant and excessive violence their officers engage in. It’s the fact that they don’t secure all videocameras, smartphones and other recording devices in the area and either disable or disconnect their dashcams.

    1. That’s out near York. There’s a ton of pissant little town PDs out that way that think they’re the last line of defense against the Brown Incursion or whatever, and want to play NYPD Stop-and-Frisk with anyone who looks darker than Zebadiah Stolzfus.

  42. “The U.S. is considering imposing sanctions on Pakistan for a $7 billion pipeline deal the country made with Iran.”

    Can’t we just drone the damned thing?

    1. They added insult to injury by naming it the “Tehran to Lahore Keystone Pipeline”.

    1. Clearly the chart is on the upswing, so there’s nothing to worry about.

      Listen to our betters: NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

  43. Mark Cuban says he would draft Brittney Griner

    My roommate is convinced that she is a man posing as a woman. He hates Baylor because he honestly thinks they are cheating by having Brittney play for them because he thinks she’s a man.

    1. I wish ESPN would stop pretending anyone cares about women’s basketball. And Mark Cuban is a carnival barker. Forget the NBA, Griner couldn’t play division 2 men’s basketball.

      1. Elena Delle Donne is the womens player who, stylistically, most plays the “mens game”. She would get destroyed against men, of course, but she looks like she is playing the same game as the men, unlike most women players, even the good ones.

        1. A fifth seeded women’s team shut Griner out in the first half. Louisville does not have a single player over six feet four. If they can shut her out for a half, what would even a lower division I men’s team, with multiple men over six foot eight do to her?

          1. A friend of mine is a Louisville women’s Bball season ticket holder, so I hear far more than I want about women’s hoops.

        2. And I could see her playing DII. She has decent footwork, unlike Greinier.

          1. Griner just physically bullies people from what I have seen. I don’t see where she is that skillful. There have been women who were skillful basketball players. Ann Myers comes to mind. Despite those skills, she lasted a day at Indiana Pacers camp.

            1. This is more retarded than Michelle Wie trying to play on the men’s Tour. When will ESPN stop forcing decent female athletes to become awful side shows in men’s sports. See also: Danica Patrick, girl wrestlers and girl kickers.

              1. Michelle Wie was pretty high on the retard scale. She wasn’t even a particularly good women’s golfer. If you want to see if a woman can play with men, you might want to at least take the best woman golfer to find out. Yeah, Michelle Wie was going to play with the men even though Anika Sorenstam, who is one of the ten best women’s golfers ever, couldn’t.

                1. ZOMG she can drive the ball 300yds! Call Augusta National!!!

                2. Michelle Wie was a consideration because she hit the ball long enough to play from the men’s tees. Which made her a contender when hitting from the women’s tees, but a short hitter on the mens tour.

      2. “What the fuck is “women’s basketball?”

        /every sports fan ever

        1. It is this filler they use on Sportcenter programing. It is ESPN telling you to maybe take a break for a few minutes and get a drink or go to the bathroom.

          1. I remember reading an article on ESPN.com about WNBA fans a few years ago. Basically, it’s little girls who like basketball and creepy old dudes with an Amazon fetish.

            1. I thought the WNBA had a big lesbian following.

              1. I thought the WNBA was a big lesbian gathering.

                FTFY

            2. creepy old dudes with an Amazon fetish

              See my post above. Im not sure he would deny this.

              He also has Volleyball season tix.

      3. “I wish ESPN would stop pretending anyone cares about women’s basketball.”

        FUCK YOU JOHN.

        Women’s basketball is much better than the NCAA men’s or NBA game. Did you watch Louisville defeat Baylor? Best. Fucking. Game. Ever. And I used to sit courtside at NBA games during the Jordan/Thomas/Malone era. I have felt the heat of Dikembe Mutombo body on my his as he rested at my fucking feet and I am going to repeat: Women’s basketball is much better than the NCAA men’s or NBA game.

        1. “on my shins”

        2. Please. Without the NBA sugar daddies, the WNBA would have folded years ago.

          1. I’m referring to NCAA Women’s basketball not the WNBA,

  44. Police dog hurt when parolee throws hm out second story window.

    Police officers discuss how they would have kille the man.

    Remember, contrary to what we’ve been told, these are sworn police officers speaking in a closed environment.

    1. Imagine the nightmare scenario of being a cop outside a building. You look up, suddenly a dog is hurtling through the air toward you, you pull your sidearm and shoot – only to discover it was a police dog. Imagine having to bear the shame of shooting a fellow officer. At most you could pray you miss the police dog and hit some perp (or their dog) instead.

  45. Obama’s sent John Kerry to Korea. That should fix everything.

    1. It won’t fix everything, but it’s a start to fixing the problems here in America.

    1. *live* Can’t even type horrible news properly.

      1. Well, he probably has less than a year to love, too. I hear the desire and ability go away towards the end.

        1. I hope the Culture comes and saves him. Awful news.

    2. Fuck. And we were so close to being able to copy his mind-state, too.

  46. I’m all for privatizing a lot of things the government does, schools, roads, fire and ambulance, etc. But privatizing prisons really creep me out. Maybe I’m being inconsistent, but given that their business model is inherently based on coercion, it’s never really going to follow the economic laws of a free market and there’s just all sorts of perverse incentives in creating a business that has a profit motive to jail as many people as it can get its hands on.

    1. Prisons are cruel punishment. I can’t think of anything worse than taking away a portion of a person’s life while subjecting them to random beatings and rapes. Not only that, but all prison teaches a person is how to survive in prison. Most people come out worse than when they went in.

      Bring back the whipping post and the stockade. Do it in public. Bring children there to see what happens to people who commit crimes.

      Not only would it provide a better deterrent, but it would remove the perverse incentive to cruelly warehouse as many people as possible.

      1. I agree. Prisons never really existed until the 19th Century. They were the creation of religious fanatics who thought they could reform people. Universal prison has been a complete failure. Our society is no safer and no less violent for them being here.

        We are not going to go back to the days of hanging people for offenses like theft. So we are always going to have prisons in a way we didn’t in the past. But we should only have prisons for people that really are too violent to be let lose on society and we are unwilling to hang. Every other crime ought to be handled by corporal punishment and fines.

        1. we should only have prisons for people that really are too violent to be let lose on society and we are unwilling to hang. Every other crime ought to be handled by corporal punishment and fines.

          Yup. Bill Engvall had a great line about corporal punishment in one of his early sets. It was something along the lines of “I sang the singapore national anthem the day they caned that boy. He’ll never do that again, I bet he don’t even take art class. And if I were that boys father, I’d have bought that rod and hung it above his bedroom door.”

        2. Yeah if anyone hasn’t read In Defense of Flogging by Peter Moskos I highly recommend it. Very short, very quick read.

        3. They were the creation of religious fanatics who thought they could reform people.

          It’s hard to say whether it’s possible to reform some portion of the US prison population when we really aren’t even trying to. Prison is more about torturing the inmates to satisfy the public’s desire for revenge than it is about attempts at reform. We know there’s things that could be done in prison to lower recidivism rates but which we don’t do because they’re perceived as being soft on prisoners, and being hard on prisoners is more important to voters than actually reducing crime.

      2. Has somebody been reading Starship Troopers again?

      3. I pretty much agree with this too. Anything would be more humane than prison.

      4. People who commit serious violent crimes are some of the few who need to be locked away for years or permanently. People for whom corporal punishment is not working should also be locked away. Some people just don’t care, and the rest of society should not have to put up with them.

        But I am kinda with Stormy on this one. Privatizing prisons would likely lead to more people being imprisoned.

        There are a few things the government should be doing — courts, law enforcement/peace keeping, and local/national defense.

    2. “Wherein lies the conflict, sir? Killing a man may be necessary. But confining him is an offense against his integrity — and your own.”

  47. http://www.theblaze.com/storie…..s-awesome/

    It really pisses me off it has taken this long to rebuild on that site.

    1. I’m afraid I am pissed that they rebuilt it at all but not as pissed as I am that they built the original.

      The WTC was never built to meet any market based need for commercila space. It was a perfect example of the Business Socialism that Rockefeller Republicans love.

      I’m pretty sure the new one is too.

  48. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/o…..ostopinion

    Disability is the new welfare.

    1. Yup. I see people on disability doing plenty of heavy lifting and other things they supposedly can’t do.

      Most jobs don’t even require lifting. They sit on their asses watching daytime TV. Why can’t they sit on their asses in an office staring at a computer screen?

      1. I knew a guy who is on disability because his wrist pops and it hurts when it goes “pop.”

        I say this in past tense because after I demonstrated that my wrist does the same thing, he never spoke to me again.

        1. he’s on disability for that? Shit, I should be on disability because I stubbed my toe once. Pay me for life, dammit!

          1. Unless he starts slinging drugs, he’s doomed to a life of poverty. But he’s content. He’s got a roof, food, medical, and enough money left over for beer and pot. Plus he gets to sit around all day.

            In his mind he won the lottery.

  49. The idea is cool, but a silver, heat-reflective hoodie does kind of make you stick out. Here’s a fun quote from the article though…

    Not least because many of the people making counter-surveillance equipment are keen to keep it out of civilian hands. “The only people who really don’t need to be seen,” says military camouflage designer Guy Cramer, “are the ones who are doing something wrong out there.”

    Fuck, that’s a tasty boot!

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/arta…..ig-brother

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.