A.M. Links: Democrats Still Scaring on Sequester, Judge Rules Careful Driving Not Illegal, Golden Gate Bridge Now Tracking You

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  • no foolin
    Alex E. Proimos/Foter.com

    Democrats are still trying to whip up fear about the sequester and blame Republicans for it, now taking a law and order tack.

  • Obamacare will be raising the costs of health insurance, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius admitted. Men, young people hit hardest.
  • The Justice Department's squeezed $40 million dollars out of UPS for delivering illegal pharmaceuticals purchased online. The company has also agreed to take steps to stop online pharmacies from using UPS.
  • A judge in New york ruled it's not illegal to drive carefully; Border Patrol stopped a couple driving safely in a town about 20 miles from the Canadian border.
  • If you're going to San Francisco be sure to put an RFID chip in your car.
  • France's president, Francois Hollande, has seen the steepest decline in popularity in the history of the French republic, leaving some observers feeling like its 1938.
  • A public prosecutor in Egypt ordered the arrest of a satirist who hosts a television program based on "The Daily Show" for insulting Islam and the president, Mohammed Morsi of the Muslim Brotherhood. The satirist turned himself in and was released on bail

Unfortunately, none of these are April fool's jokes. 

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    1. Why do I suspect that the “customer” was an off duty cop?

  1. You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best ‘boards’ on the internet: Reason. Now, for some of you it doesn’t matter. You were born rich and you’re going to stay rich. But here’s my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can’t buy backbone. Don’t let them forget it. Thank you.

    And remember, it’s Troll Free Monday, so you can show some backbone and ignore them. Or you can be a douche.

    YOU MAKE THE CALL.

    1. Everyone knows Sunday is troll-free.

    2. That reminds me of those old IBM commercials–“You make the call”–where they’d run some whacked out NFL play and ask you what the call should’ve been. I always liked those.

    3. Hey, buddy, I made my money the old-fashioned way — by exploiting low-wage overseas labor to hand etch monogrammed monocles for sale to the libertarian elites. So back off.

  2. Celebrities try to save their beachfront homes from erosion.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..rvive.html
    Not if the local government has anything to do with it.

    1. But how will we get the best performance possible out of Pierce Brosnan and Goldie Hawn in The Thomas Crowne Affair II: Thomas Crowne Down Under and Overboard II: Overboarder (repsectively) if they’re worrying about their houses getting washed away?!

    2. hard to get sympathetic for people building in places where nature might discourage building. Meanwhile, they could pony up for some means of mitigating the impact.

      1. It appears that they’ve tried, but the local government is loathe to issue permits.

        1. you mean the govt bureaucracy these liberals embrace is turning on them? I am shocked by this, I tell you; just shocked.

          1. Is Goldie Hawn a liberal? Her hubby shows up regularly on lists of libertarian celebrities.

          2. Pierce Brosnan is probably personally responsible for the red tape he’s caught in now:

            http://www.people.com/people/a…..75,00.html

    3. They tried to get the sand from my town’s beach last year, our mayor told them to go fuck themselves. It was beautiful to watch…

  3. Hidden in caves 600ft below ground, carved into volcanic rock and filled with furniture made from bones: Meet the world’s most unusual churches

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..rches.html

    1. From the description I thought it might be the First Chuch of Dethklok, but it turned out to just be regular gay churches.

    2. I visited a church in Portugal where the local monks had dug up all the pagans and made a chapel of their bones. Very macabre.

      1. Sedlec Ossuary is one of the creepiest and coolest places ever.

      2. ‘Excitable boy[s], they all said.’

        Doesn’t seem like the most architecturally stable of a structure, but it probably had the desired effect.

        1. They used a liberal amount of cement or mortar.

    3. The Hallgr?mskirkja looks like it was built in Minecraft.

  4. Democrats are still trying to whip up fear about the sequester

    Isn’t it too late for that? No one fucking cares now.

    1. Ya there has been zero impact on my social sphere. In fact I look forward to meeting someone effected.

      1. The sequester is the most overrated thing since Gonzaga.

        1. Or Notre Dame

        2. I read that, at first, as Gorgonzola – I was going to take you task, but then I reread…

          1. I would NEVER disparage what I consider one of the top 100 cheeses.

            1. Fromunda?

        3. Gonzaga…lost to the same team as Ohio St. And played them better.

          1. Of course there’s always one…

            1. Big conference teams get upset. Mid-majors are overrated.

              Its all bullshit.

              1. If Louisville wins it all, does Kentucky secede from the union in a fit of hubris?

      2. I was affected, but certainly not effected by the sequester. Fortunately, the effect was, at most, minor.

        1. Meh, I’m looking for a real whiner who also a blatant tax parasite. I figured this would be easier but I guess I keep good company

          1. That “whooshing” sound is some guy’s point whipping above your head…

      3. I’ve been affected, supposedly. But as there is nothing I can do about it, I’ll just be happy to shed bit of my small involvement in the military industrial complex.

    2. Yeah, well everybody knows that the sequester was an ultimate cause of Sandyhook. Priority of events is irrelevant when one speaks sequester consequences. If you think otherwise, you’re probably a sexist which automatically makes you a racist and the children. Why do you hate the children?

      1. Because they’re noisy and they get snot everywhere.

  5. NYC paramedic tweets gruesome pictures in violation of federal law.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..eries.html
    Will anything happen? Doubtful.

    1. I don’t know, do the paramedics even have a union? You guys remember that movie where Nic Cage was a paramedic?

      Yeah, me neither.

    2. 93,000 tweets a year?!?

      1. Its not like he had anything else to do, right?

        1. I don’t know how much the ranks carry across, but he was a Lt.

          1. Obviously his subordinates didn’t need him…93K freakin’ tweets, oy!

            1. Saying that is redundant – its already been mentioned that he’s an LT.

      2. One tweet every 5 minutes or so? Hmm…

    3. How is this not a gigantic violation of HIPAA? Are the hospitals where this guy delivered patients liable too for the pictures he took on their property? You’d think that at some point someone would have noticed this clown snapping photos of a patient.

  6. The Culture War! Now coming to an Easter near you.

    Google defended the decision by saying it reserves the spot for historical figures and events, and a review of its past doodles shows it has never honored Jesus on Christmas or Easter, despite his historical and spiritual significance to billions around the world.

    “I thought the Chavez-google thing was a hoax or an early April Fool’s Day prank,” Fox News contributor Dana Perino tweeted. ” … are they just going to leave that up there all day?”

    1. Somebody on another forum I frequent bitched about Google not highlighting “the real Lord” yesterday, so I responded with a photo of Jack Lord.

      1. I’d have gone with Traci, but well done.

        1. Why couldn’t she just have been 18, goddamnit.

          1. You know she played Dejah Thoris as a legal adult, right?

    2. Because putting Chavez up there instead of just leaving it alone isn’t Culture War!

      1. Putting nothing up there would have also caused frothing at the mouth because Google wasn’t honoring Jesus on his (other) special day. Everything is Culture War now. It’s here to stay.

        1. What did Google do for Easter 2012?

          1. No idea.

            1. Nothing. Remember the frothing mouths? No?

              1. Was the Culture War entering its Easter phase last year? No.

                1. Ah, so the culture war is less than a year old. Seriously? That’s your argument?

                  So when Google doesn’t have a Jesus Easter doodle for 2014 and people don’t get wound up, will you change your opinion?

                  1. so the culture war is less than a year old. Seriously? That’s your argument?

                    Did you not read what I wrote there properly? Did you just skim over the word Easter?

                    So when Google doesn’t have a Jesus Easter doodle for 2014 and people don’t get wound up, will you change your opinion?

                    I’ll be happy to admit that the Culture Warriors have decided to abandon Easter. I don’t expect the War on Christmas will ever end.

                    1. So this is the first Easter of the Easter culture war?

                      If there is no frothing of mouths, they’ve “abandoned” the Easter culture war, rather than simply not being upset by a lack of change from the default. But they’re the culture warriors. Right.

                    2. So this is the first Easter of the Easter culture war?

                      I don’t recall Easter ever being included in the Culture War before this year.

                      If there is no frothing of mouths, they’ve “abandoned” the Easter culture war, rather than simply not being upset by a lack of change from the default.

                      If next year there is no outcry over Google not putting up an Easter doodle, as well as no hyperventilating over schools substitution the word “Spring” in place of the word “Easter,” then I will give them credit for abandoning the Easter front of the Culture War.

                      But they’re the culture warriors. Right.

                      Yeah, I guess your inference that I’m a culture war totally makes sense. It’s obvious that my humor over people getting upset by their perceived religious persecution really means I’m down there in the trenches.

                    3. I didn’t say you were down there in the trenches, but if you can’t see the assumptions involved in believing that getting annoyed at changing from the default to Chavez on Easter is Easter culture war and not getting upset at keeping the default is abandoning the Easter culture war, you’re not examining your premises very rigorously.

                      Your position that this is Easter culture war is unfalsifiable. It sounds a lot like a matter of faith for you.

                    4. Easter isn’t on the same day every year, numerically that is. This year it came on March 31:

                      In 2011, President Obama proclaimed each March 31 to be designated Cesar Chavez Day in honor of the co-founder of the United Farm Workers union.

                      Google decided to use a doodle in honor of Cesar Chavez instead of Jesus/Easter. Culture Warriors decided to take Google to task for not honoring Easter as they have done with every school that changed their Easter festivities to Spring festivities.

                      Your position that this is Easter culture war is unfalsifiable.

                      Is it? By whom?

                      It sounds a lot like a matter of faith for you.

                      Are you one of those people that believes that atheism is a religion too?

                    5. Ugh, what a mess that was:

                      substitution substituting

                      I’m a culture warrior

    3. Google’s front page is a commons, don’t cha know; they’re lucky they’re allowed to put anything up there other than approved propaganda.

      /statist wet dream

  7. Female recruits fail Marine Infantry Officer Course. Again.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ourse.html

    1. coming soon: lowered standards.

      1. I don’t know, if it were the army I think you’d be correct, but I can see the Marines pushing REALLY hard to maintain their standards in the face of PC BS.

      2. No it’s called “gender norming”. Because the ruck gets lighter if it’s a woman carrying it.

        See, this is where we get utter stupidity. There are a lot of jobs in the military women can do. The drone missile flies just as straight no matter what the plumbing of the operator is. Standing watch in Cheyenne Mountain has the physical requirements of being able to operate a computer console.

        But an M240B weighs about 30 pounds. It doesn’t get any lighter then that. It just gets heavier about the, oh, third mile or so.

        1. But an M240B weighs about 30 pounds. It doesn’t get any lighter then that.

          Preach it, brother.

          1. Amen!

            /former M2 spare barrel carrier.

          2. Amen!

            /former 60 & 240 pack mule then gunner

          3. Amen thrice! /Former USMC infantry 81mm mortarman

        2. I don’t know, an emotional, PMS-ing woman at the controls of a drone? I shudder to think…

          1. She might blow up a wedding out of jealous rage or something.

          2. Given the current definition of militant is any male over 14, it sounds like the woman in question is already active in the drone program.

    2. Why are recruits taking Officer courses.

      1. I suspect the Fail is mixing up OCS candidates with “recruits”?

        1. i don’t know — the article said that one of the candidates was a Lieutenant. maybe some sort of infantry school that was previously closed to women?

          1. “Some sort of infantry school previously closed to women” would be any of them run by the US military.

          2. This sounds like it. I don’t know much about how the Marines work, but with the Army, you have two phases (now. It used to be 3 when I was in training)for BOLC.

            Phase I is some kind of officer school, be it OCS, ROTC, or West Point. You get commissioned after graduation. Then you go to Phase II, which is your branch school (Infantry, Armor, Quartermaster, Engineer, Aviation, etc).

            If the Marines are the same, then this is probably the infantry officer’s course. Infantry is always more rugged than other branches.

            1. FWIW, FTA one in four of the applicants drops out of the course at some point. Assuming that means an applicant has a 75% chance of passing, and assuming that whether a female drops out or not is independent of what happens to the other one, the odds that both of them would have dropped out are ~6.25 percent. Never mind that having both of them fail during the first(?) week of a ten week course looks really bad.

              I would have thought the USMC would have wanted to waited until there were more than 2 female candidates.

              1. 2 last fall, 2 this time, 5 trying this summer.

        2. Actually it was sarcasmic mixing them up. The DM was, surprisingly, technically correct. Probably took all the salient points from a USMC press release.

    3. It’s obviously because of The Patriarchy. And Rape Culture.

    4. Good on the Marines. I’m pleasantly surprised.

      I have no issues with women in combat, provided standards aren’t lowered.

    5. The grueling course has only been open to women since January, when former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta directed U.S. military chiefs to study whether more combat-related jobs could be open to women.

      U.S. military chiefs: “We’ve found that women, surprisingly, aren’t getting any stronger physically.”

      I’ve pointed out before that the main reason for this change was due to political pressure to get more female generals in place. If you raised just the PT standards for women to the same as men across the services, you’d probably lose at least 1/4 of the female force, maybe more, even though there are some women out there in dynamite shape.

      When it’s finally confirmed by these chiefs what everyone already knows–that women largely don’t have the physical capabilities to handle these kinds of positions–expect pressure to lower the standards in order to get more of them in so some GI Jane wannabe can get her stupid photo-op.

      1. When it’s finally confirmed by these chiefs what everyone already knows–that women largely don’t have the physical capabilities to handle these kinds of positions–expect pressure to lower the standards in order to get more of them in so some GI Jane wannabe can get her stupid photo-op.

        Isn’t a lot of the pressure coming from existing female officers wanting to get their Ranger tab and thereby have a better chance at getting to flag rank?

        Which is pretty much what you’re saying, I think.

        1. Correct–it’s damn near impossible to make general without a combat command of some kind in the Army and Marines. It can be done, but it usually takes special circumstances.

          It’s a lot easier in the Air Force because so many of the positions are administrative and support. The head of AFMC, for example, is female–but when you read her bio, her entire career has basically been spent going back and forth between Wright-Patt and the Pentagon. I also believe 3 out of the last 4 heads of AF basic training have been female, and they all made general shortly afterward.

          But ultimately, this decision wouldn’t have been made without pressure from members of Congress, who are itching to declare a woman the “first Ranger grad,” “first combat commander,” etc. and sponsor their career in order to make themselves look good for supporting them. It’s basically SWPL status-signaling on a Congressional scale.

  8. CHP pulls Easter Bunny over for not wearing a helmet.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..elmet.html

    1. He was listening to KISS backwards and the devil told him to do it. That was always my favorite episode, but then again, I was a big KISS fanboi.

      Until Lick it Up, and then I burned all of their albums and had my memory erased.

    2. You sure it was from Easter and not from Donnie Darko?

    3. It sort of looks like he is wearing a helmet. Market opportunity: ANSI approved novelty animal heads.

  9. ‘Sidewalk Skiing’ in Saudi Arabia
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..tside.html

    1. Call me when they start ghostriding their whips.

      1. I’m pretty sure they already are. There are a lot of rich kids with nothing to do over there but do crazy shit with their cars.

  10. France’s president, Francois Hollande, has seen the steepest decline in popularity in the history of the French republic, leaving some observers feeling like its 1938.

    But his popularity in Mali is soaring!

  11. Men still stupid enough to fight over women fighting over men.

    He said several people pulled handguns and fired shots, and three men were killed. A fourth man suffered multiple gunshot wounds and was in stable condition at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, Hirman said late Sunday. The ages of the four run between 21 and 32.

    Problems between two groups, one celebrating a birthday, started inside the tavern when two women had a disagreement.

    “The dispute started between two women when one of them danced with a man,” Hirman said in a statement late Sunday night.

    1. “The dispute started between two women when one of them danced with a man”

      I told you, nothing good can come from that!

      /Increase Mather

      1. Don’t make me kick off my Sunday shoes.

        1. Lock that man in the stocks!

          /Cotton Mather

          1. Aren’t we told in Psalm 149 “Praise ye the Lord. Sing unto the Lord a new song. Let them praise His name in the dance”?

            1. Right then, burn him!

              /Salem

              1. I’m not a fan of the re-make! Just the original! And then only for camp value, not because it’s actually good.

                Although it’s also fun to see SJP before she got mixed up with a horse in a transporter accident.

                1. Looking at her disgustingly skinny body and fucked up face, you have to remind yourself there was a time she was actually pretty.

                2. wow. I had no idea she was in that.

        2. I’m holding out for a hero.

      2. Did he not realize that dancing leads to increasing?

        1. And that can be a serious Mather.

          1. Wasn’t Serious Mather the brother they all hated because he was too strict?

    2. I’m sure these were all hipsters carrying pistols ironically.

  12. “If you’re going to San Francisco be sure to put an RFID chip in your car.”

    I hope some hackers get to working on that soon, If I lived in San Francisco I would be willing to pay quite a bit for a device that could get around that. Unfortunately my skills are not in electronics or programming.

    1. “If you’re going to San Francisco be sure to put an RFID chip in your car.”

      What happened to just wearing flowers in your hair?

      1. Shine on you crazy diamond.

    2. It isnt really possible to get around it. The RFID transponder’s ID is matched in a database to your vehicle and your credit card. You could try putting a new chip with someone elses ID in it but you’d get caught right away as there is a camera that will video you going through, so they will know your car make and model and your plate number.

  13. “Everything is speculation,” [Sebelius] told reporters at the White House.

    OK ….

    “Women are going to see some lower costs, some men are going to see some higher costs.”

    With all due respect, you just said “Everything is speculation,” so WTF is this blather?

    1. “We have to pass the bill and execute it fully so we can see what’s in it. Because really none of us has any clue what the hell we’re doing.”

      1. It’s just like when you buy a car. Or start an Army. You need to see what happens for a couple years before you make any real decisions on it.

    2. I don’t think that part is. White men are the evil other to these people. They will be punished, they will be made to pay their fair share….whatever that is.

      1. their fair share = their insurance premiums + everyone else’s

  14. Compare and contrast Neil Irwin with David Stockman.

    1. Can you just tell me which one will make me less mad.

      1. Neither. But for different reasons.

        (drink).

      2. David Stockman will make you much less mad. His assessment is pretty much spot on, thought I don’t think his recommendations go far enough. Neil Irwin is Bernanke’s fan club president or something.

  15. Men, young people hit hardest.

    I dodged 1/2 of that.

    Also to be hit hardest, people whose deductible is above the maximum allowed. I assume my deductible will drop from $2500 to $2000 next year, which will probable cost me an addition $600.

    1. So that sex change is really paying off for you?

      1. Those are covered under Obamacare, right?

        1. Thet’re not only covered, they’re obligatory…

          all in the sense of fairness.

    2. Yeah. I start a new job Monday with bennies, but I was going to have to drop from a $5k/yr deductible to a $2k/year which was going to cost me $1k/year more in premiums. Considering I don’t use $1000 worth of healthcare ever, (Well, okay, when I broke my collarbone skiing, but those fuckers at the medical lodge charged me $400 for an X-ray.) it would have been outright theft.

  16. “The company has also agreed to take steps to stop online pharmacies from using UPS.”

    Translation: The Post Office really needs the business

  17. “It drives me crazy when the captains of the religious right are always calling us back … for blacks to be back in the back of the bus … for women to be back in the kitchen … for immigrants to be back on their side of the border.”

    That’s courtesy of the Rev. Dr. Luis Leon at Obama’s Easter service.

    Thank God it’s not the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Jr.!

    1. who are these captains doing all this calling exactly?

      1. I don’t know, but “captains of the religious right” is a nice band name.

      2. Picard, Ahab, Caveman and Anne Tennille mostly.

      3. I suspect they’re the voices in Rev. Dr. Luis Leon’s head.

      4. Honestly, outside of a few tiny groups of crazy people, what religious group still promotes any kind of segregation or overt racism? Women in the kitchen (or at least keeping to traditional roles), maybe comes up a bit more. But it seems to me that on immigration, religious right wingers would probably be more open to immigration than the non-religious variety. I could be wrong.

        1. Honestly, outside of a few tiny groups of crazy people, what religious group still promotes any kind of segregation or overt racism?

          Several large ‘black’ sects do.

        2. “what religious group still promotes any kind of segregation or overt racism?”

          If you have to ask, you’re probably a faux news othering kochtopus

    2. Where’s shriek to freak the fuck out about christfags?

      1. Its April Fool’s Day – he is probably hanging upside down wrapped in plastic sheeting with a bunch of dildos superglued to him.

        1. I don’t think he needs a special day for that.

    3. “It drives me crazy when the captains of the religious right are always calling us back … for blacks to be back in the back of the bus … for women to be back in the kitchen … for immigrants to be back on their side of the border.”

      And yet, these same people are constantly telling us how great this same time period was economically because there were higher taxes and unions had more power.

  18. Obamacare will be raising the costs of health insurance, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius admitted. Men, young people hit hardest.

    Mission accomplished.

  19. A question not related to dating for the HitnRun Group Advice Column: I was selected for a national survey of college graduates by the US Census Bureau. According to the letters I’ve been getting, if I don’t respond it would harm their data, but there is no penalty for failing to do so. Part of me wants to reply (for science!) and the other part wants to flip the bird to the US Department of Commerce, so I’ve been trashing the letters (which has resulted in them coming in fancier legal envelopes and some phone calls).

    What would you do?

    1. Maybe send back a note “fuck off, slavers”.

      1. Why waste a stamp?

        1. email?

          Save the envelopes for kindling.

          1. email?

            As long as you send it off before they start taxing it…

    2. Shredder.

    3. In 2000, I got the long form for the census and answered name, address and number of people in household. And left everything else blank.

      They didnt prosecute.

      1. However, you are now on the no-fly list.

        1. Im kinda okay with that.

      2. In 2000, I got the long form for the census and answered name, address and number of people in household. And left everything else blank.

        Did you get a follow-up visit by a live human being? I did the same thing in 2010, got a visit from a census worker asking more questions. Told him I answered all the questions I was going to answer and he should leave.

        1. The live guy showed up in the middle of the day and left a card. That didn’t help him much.

        2. Yes, and I closed the door on him when he started trying to guess my race (Note: this is an easy one, so Im guessing he got it right).

        3. I got a visit from a live census taker back in 2010 while I was on my way out the door for work. Brushed him off and he never did come back… not sure what he wrote down but didn’t land anybody in jail (that I know of), so it seemed to work out just fine.

          1. You didn’t eat his liver with fava beans and a nice kee-anti?

        4. Same thing happened to me. The census bureau got really ballsy an in-your-face for 2010. They called my house, came to my door repeatedly, and even began harassing my mom (how they found her name and number is unnerving to me). They said it was illegal for me to not fill it all out and threatened my mom that if she didn’t help them get all my information she could get into trouble too.

          I made a shit storm of a phone call to the state office about that one.

      3. Damn it! I should have done that. Got the long form in 2010 and ignored it. The wife got pissy after they started calling repeatedly and sending follow up notices.

        1. The USDA Agricultural Census still goes in the recycling.

      4. I was going to do that, but my wife filled it in before I knew we had it.

        1. I wanted to answer with bullshit, but the in-house counsel wouldn’t let me.

    4. Tell them you want to answer their questions, but the king of the potato people won’t let you, even though you’ve begged him, while on your knees weeping.

      1. That’s pretty good; but don’t try buying guns or ammo afterwards.

    5. Tell them the truth–your degree in Gender Equality and Privelege Studies prepared you for a rewarding career in rapid food deployment in disadvantaged economic zones.

      1. Not far from the truth, actually. *sob*

    6. I’d just do it. Possibly with made up information. But I sort of like taking surveys and filling out forms.

    7. Give answers it isn’t looking for.

    8. Fill out the form, but answer every question that you’re taking the fifth.

  20. A judge in New york ruled it’s not illegal to drive carefully

    What? I’m sure that good smugglers follow traffic law to the letter to avoid being discovered! Of course law enforcement should be empowered to pull someone over for not doing anything wrong! They could be a smuggler! Or a terrorist!

    1. We need traffic K-9s, that way the cops will always have probable cause!

      “My K-9 unit signaled by sticking his head out the window and enjoying the breeze.”

    2. What’s next: Polite Couple Couple Charged with Disorderly Conduct.?

      1. There really are places that polite conduct would “alarm and disturb” people.

    3. Look, driving carefully is the equivalent of structuring financial transactions to keep them under $10K.

    4. Or an illegal alien!

    5. It’s a well known fact that people only follow traffic regulations when they have something to hide. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about. Therefore, if you break traffic regulations, you have nothing to worry about.

      1. I’ve had cops tell me that they pretty much do think that way. If someone is going exactly the speed limit, or exactly 5 over, even, they will give a second look, at least. I pointed out that getting pulled over is unpleasant and a waste of time, even if you aren’t smuggling drugs or something.

        1. They used to do this to my dad all the time.

          He’d set the cruise control for exactly 55 miles per hour while driving on Route 128. At one point he was getting pulled over once a week until the cops figured out that pulling over the teetotaling physicist wasn’t going to get them any overtime court appearances.

          1. exactly 55 miles per hour while driving on Route 128.

            The monstah!

    6. Obeying the law is just a loophole criminals use to avoid prosecution, but fortunately it’s a loophole that our governmental betters are working tirelessly to eliminate.

      1. You should just say that every time you hear someone complain about “tax loopholes”.

    7. Making a full stop at a stop sign when nobody’s looking? Obviously something is wrong.

    8. The problem with this case is that the officers’ intuition was correct in this case. They really were smuggling drugs and they really were complying with all traffic laws in order to conceal illegal activity.

      The real issue here is that we’ve created a situation with so many dumb/petty/pointless laws that only criminals bother to follow them.

      1. The real issue here is that we’ve created a situation with so many dumb/petty/pointless laws that only criminals bother to follow them.

        Who is this “we” of which you speak?

        1. It’s perfectly acceptable to use “we” to refer to “people in general”.

          1. People in general created this situation? I don’t recall creating any dumb/petty/pointless laws. Considering that I can gauge the outcome of an election by taking the inverse of my ballot, I doubt I have voted for anyone who wrote these dumb/petty/pointless laws either.
            So I can safely remove myself from this “we” that you mention.

      2. The only reason we heard about this particular instance is because they were breaking the law, and thereby had a reason to be in court. Do you really think this is the first time he’s popped somebody who was acting exactly like these people? I wouldn’t be surprised if he pulls this shit all of the time. It’s just that most people aren’t going to go to court over it. See tarran’s anecdote above.

        I’m a bit surprised that he wasn’t able to add some bullshit boilerplate like “failure to maintain lane” to the report to get it past the suppression hearing. You’d think that he could have come up with something better during the hour the article says the smugglers had to wait while he summoned the drug dog. Lesson learned, Officer Friendly. Also surprised that the smugglers were able to totally follow all traffic laws for the 6(!) miles this clown followed them. It’s nervewracking having one of them camp on your bumper (especially when the speed limit changes a lot, or gets really low) and I’m not smuggling weed.

        Completely agree with your second paragraph.

  21. EmpressConstancepa? 14 hours ago

    I’m wondering at this point if my debt will be passed on to my parents if I die. It is such a pussy cop out, but I’ve just wanted to end it for so long; not knowing that is the only thing stopping me. My partner will be better off: his mom thinks I’m a lazy slacker, and his brother thinks I’m too supportive. I mean, he just lost his dad in January anyway (on my birthday, so we can’t really ever celebrate it again, according to him), and I, unemployed and in debt, can’t throw him the giant surprise 30th birthday party he wanted. He was really pissed because he expected it would just continue as planned, even though his mother said she refuses to plan anything in the next year. I have to find a job, get out of debt, plan, finance, and throw a lavish bash worthy of his royal spoiled rotteness, plan a wedding, figure out where it will be, find lawyers for both of us for the prenup, deal with the handful of family members I have who are declining rapidly, all while not costing my broke parents any money. I can’t do it. I just can’t. It’s too much. I’ve disappointed my parents, I’ve let everyone else down, and I’m a complete failure. On the other hand, it’d probably be rude to off myself the day before my appointment with my shrink, especially because I owe her money, too. Oh well. Might as well live, perhaps.

    Umm…

    1. He *expected* a giant surprise birthday party?

    2. I have to find a job, get out of debt

      That actually sounds like a quality plan.

      plan, finance, and throw a lavish bash

      No, no you dont. Not while in debt.

      I’m a complete failure

      If he did part A but not part B, that would be the exact opposite of a failure.

    3. Can anyone run that through the summarizer app?

      1. Entitled progressive whines that she might actually have to prioritize her finances.

        1. Outstanding.

        2. Whiny drama queen, anyway. At least in the excerpt, nothing indicates progressiveness or a particular sense of entitlement.

          If I had to guess, I’d say you are probably right, though.

    4. The URI you submitted has disallowed characters.

      ^PROOF THERE IS A GOD^

    5. Sug that’s the worst online dating profile ever.

        1. But, I wore red and and took a blurry cameraphone shot at a inhuman angle! I should have date offers rolling in!

          1. “a blurry cameraphone shot at a inhuman angle”

            The geometry was all wrong! Excellent.

            /Old Ones Dating Service

            1. I had “non-Euclidianism” down under hobbies.

              1. There may be a future for you in English Granola slicing.

                1. Have fun trying to eat a Klein Bottle, you little Limey bastards.

              2. The Atlanta road system is non-Euclidean.

                All parallel roads intersect at least twice.

                1. All parallel roads intersect at least twice.

                  Don’t all parallel lines in a spherical 2D geometry have to intersect twice?

                  1. spherical 2D geometry

                    Wait, what?

                    1. T, think of the surface of a sphere, like the Earth. It can be idealized as 2D, and thus parallel lines of longitude intersect at the poles. It is non-Euclidean but a perfectly consistent geometry nonetheless.

                    2. But latituduinal lines do not intersect and they are parallel, thus disproving you statement that they must.

                    3. Depends on your definition of parallel. In some spherical geometries, parallel lines intersect exactly twice and have the same length.

                    4. Yeah, I second that.

                      Spherical and 2D? Am i missing something here?

                  2. Yes. But only twice.

                    1. You Only Intersect Twice

                      Hampered by an obscure title, the 6th Bond movie produced was never released in the English-speaking world and remains nigh-impossible to obtain outside of certain PAL bootlegs.

          2. Hey, baby, is that a tendril in your esophogas or have you just been driven mad from seeing me?

            Nothing more romantic than incessant piping, no?

    6. Jesus. And the Award for Self-Absorption goes to…

    7. She should move to Pakistan, they know how to treat their women over there.

  22. The Justice Department’s squeezed $40 million dollars out of UPS for delivering illegal pharmaceuticals purchased online. The company has also agreed to take steps to stop online pharmacies from using UPS.

    Is this how they’ve decided to pay for Sasha and Malia’s monthly vacations now? Or was the settlement just countersigned to the next hotel Biden’s planning on staying at with his MC Hammer-esque entourage?

    1. Somebody needs to run a billboard with a counter showing, side by side, the YTD expenses of the Royal Family next to those of the First Family.

      1. I saw one of those. Having Chuck the twirp around is a relative bargain.

    2. Its funny, all the online pharmaceuticals I’ve ever bought have come USPS registered mail. Although the Indian Adderall has some quality control problems. Still, it got me through an engineering degree while working full time.

      1. As long as they don’t send viagra by mistake, you’d be up all night studying…

        1. Yeah, they did send me some of that, uh, by accident. I had several fun weekends over a summer.

    3. You need to deduct the 10 million in shipping and handling.

  23. Three officers who let a man die in their squad car will not be prosecuted even though inquest jury said they had PC to believe they had committed a crime.

    I guess they’re more worried about their conviction rate than the will of the jury.

    1. Right. Because no prosecutor has ever struggled to get over the grand jury hump and thrown the book at non-cops. Not ever. Fuck.

      1. Yeah, it’s not like Ronnie Earle didn’t shop Tom DeLay to as many grand juries as he needed to get an indictment. 4, wasn’t it?

        1. In Austin, no less. Oh, that’s right, its hard to get progressives to show up for jury duty.

        2. But this prosecutor only went to one grand jury. And he ignored their findings and said the cops were in no way responsible for the death of the man they refused to help or even crack a window for.

    2. You’d think the prosecutors would be okay with it–if a suspect dies in police custody before they’re charged, the conviction rate stays the same. It’s the police chief who gets pissed because he can’t claim arrests leading to prosecution.

  24. Family’s anguish as they’re forced to watch their home burn to the ground after ‘911 hung up on them’

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-them.html

    1. 911 is a stoke.

    2. They didn’t hang up, they ran out of funding in mid-call. Blame the sequester, which of course is all the Rethuglicans fault. /Dem-tard

    3. They live in an unincorporated area in a different county than the closest fire department and don’t pay for fire protection. Perhaps they should inquire into some sort of deal with them that they can pay for for better fire response.

  25. “The debate over gay marriage has been portrayed as the civil rights struggle of our time. I’m generally a supporter of same-sex unions and hold the same view as President Obama…

    “That said, gay marriage is simply not on par with the black civil rights struggle. Not even close….

    “I have gay friends who are married. The states in which they reside might not recognize their unions, but their friends and families do, and they generally live their lives in peace. No one is turning water hoses on them. They are not being attacked by police dogs. There is no Bull Connor or Ku Klux Klan. They are not being lynched en masse, drinking at separate fountains, or being ordered to the back of the bus.”

    http://www.theamericanconserva…..-struggle/

    1. THIS.

  26. Oh no! Global warming my cause Arctic to become greener! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-life.html

    1. You got your plants in my ice!

    2. So, it will be more like it was when Europeans first colonized Greenland, etc.

    3. The Arctic will turn green due to rising temperatures within decades, warns a new study.

      What rising temperatures? Oh, you mean like all global warming effect studies, it’s based upon assumptions not proven.

    4. More life on the planet? That’s unthinkable!

    5. Flora and fauna: Research shows that this dramatic greening will also accelerate climate warming at a rate greater than previously expected.

      Wait, a whole bunch of CO2 absorbing plants will accelerate warming? Does that mean C02 has nothing to do with it?

      1. Dude! The computer models said so! Do you doubt the computer models? Besides, there’s a consensus! Consensus!

      2. Everyone knows that in the real world only one variable can change at a time and that variable is whatever makes AGW worse.

        1. They did say that as the area becomes covered in plants instead of reflective snow and ice, that more solar radiation will be absorbed. Makes sense.

          I fail to see why it’s a bad thing.

    6. Hhmmm.. should we break it to them that most of the arctic is an ocean? Will these be hydroponic plants?

  27. I suppose if you’re running a cross-border prostitution ring, it pays to be a New York state trooper.

    1. Erie County Judge Kenneth Case decided against jail time based on Taggart’s poor financial condition due to his firing

      Right. Lots of judges decide not to give unemployed criminals prison time.

      1. I guess they really do believe that losing the ability to beat the shit out of people with impunity is punishment enough for their crimes. It looks like judges agree with them.

        SLD applies: prostitution should not be illegal.

  28. Another place to avoid: St. Louis

    St. Louis rally hates the 2nd and 14th Amendments

    FTA: “Section 3. The best interest of the child will take primary consideration and will supersede all existing laws and amendments that otherwise could endanger the safety and welfare of children.”

    These folks jumped the shark with that. who actually takes these morons seriously anymore?

    1. Quartering troops in homes could help end child abuse.

      1. Clearly ‘we’ need to station an armed police officer in every home. Probably shouldn’t give them any ideas.

    2. I wouldn’t be too worred about it. That midget cunt Slay is too busy trying to raise the sales tax in the name of “improving” the Archgrounds.

  29. This kid needs to go paleo. Or this commercial is the only time he’s ever been off the couch.

    1. Squat moar. /Warty

  30. Professional mermaid swims with jellyfish and sharks.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..nutes.html

    1. and can hold her breath for FIVE minutes

      I have found my second wife! [calls divorce lawyer]

      1. So she can stand the fetid stench for 5 minutes at a time?

        1. My odor is quite pleasant, thank you. Manly, musky, with just a hint of sugary piss.

      2. Just make her your first sister wife. Think outside the box man.

      3. “What do you call a woman who can suck an orange through a garden hose?”

        1. See, now I’ve never understood why that is a good thing in a sexual partner. Seems like it woudl lead to a lot of bruising. Maybe more people than I thought are into that sort of thing.

          1. It’s not about the force generated, but rather the commitment to one’s work being displayed.

          2. What’s going to happen? Its going to swell up and turn purple? Isn’t that rather the point?

          1. Epi, is that you?

    2. Pshaw. Florida has had professional mermaids for 50 years.

    3. Professional mermaid swims with jellyfish and sharks.

      What kind of professional doesn’t use coconuts or oyster shells to cover her tits?

  31. Cop beats the shit out of a woman. Her crime? Witnessing another cop beat the shit out of somebody.

    The cop in the second beating has finally been charged for the incident, which happened 14 months ago.

  32. I mailed some booze a couple of years ago at the post office. The lady at the counter asked me if the parcel contained liquids. I said it did not. She shook it and it seemed like we could both hear the sound of liquid being shaken. She accepted it anyway.

    I had learned that you can’t ship booze because it could end up in the hands and thence gullet of a minor.

    Of course, my private sting operation was probably a felony. So I can’t sue the government without risk of ending up in the can.

    So how did that UPS extortion go down?

    1. “Olive oil” was what I used to claim it was, back in the day. I thought that USPS and UPS wouldn’t accept packages over a certain size, but instead made you seal the package in front of them?

      The mail order pharmacy sting is to remove another end-around from Obama care. You can even (shudder) order antibiotics from overseas, no permission slip from the doctor required.

      (If that doesn’t summon Groovus, nothing will.)

  33. David Stockman FACTPWNS the economy. Contains some good comments.

    Ken GedanFlorida
    If this sounds like advice to get out of the markets and hide out in cash, it is.

    ——————————-1:27

    Hide in cash? Laugh.

    If Americans can hide in cash, the state of the economy and country cannot really be that dire.

    David Stockman has written a long, irrational column of dark fumes and no light.

    (Only an old crank would put forward, again, the tired shibboleth of small government and free market – that particular dystopia has a history. If you want it – go to Somalia).
    March 31, 2013 at 2:09 p.m.RECOMMENDED93

    1. With a fuck you to sarc.

        1. FOR NO REASON.

        2. Oh, I was confusing you with some guy. The fuck you still stands, though.

          1. I need to learn to quote my links, or the comments, at least.

            1. You do. Then you could quote gems like this.

              ErnieBayside, NYNYT Pick
              Mr. Stockman wields too broad a brush when he includes Obama as one of the villains, thus implying that he had a hand in originally causing our mess. All of the strategic mistakes that Stockman imputes were already in place and functioning when Obama took office, and to him fell the onus of fixing everything that came before him.

              Well, you can say Obama was a fool to begin with for wanting the presidency, but that is another story. Does anyone believe McCain or Romney would have done any better? Oh, right, Palin would have been the savant behind McCain (the way Cheney was the savant behind Bush) and she would have saved us. Hah!

              Obama cannot be blamed for the mess we are in following the disasters of Iraq and Afghanistan and the scandals of Wall Street. At most he can be blamed for not fixing the problems he inherited, not that he had any help from a recalcitrant Congressional Republicans.

              So the idea of him being a villain is totally without merit. Obama is the proverbial Dutch boy with his finger in a hole in the dyke, trying to prevent a deluge. He did not cause the flood by any measure of honest reasoning. If anything, historically, he will go down as a victim, but no pity there, because he wanted the job.
              March 31, 2013 at 1:01 p.m.RECOMMENDED7

              1. Or this.

                As jewelry or circuit paths on a PCB gold is probably still only worth the $35 an ounce Nixon rescinded (oh, maybe a little more adjusted for inflation).

                1. And, best of all,

                  GarrettPA
                  Wouldn’t all that be nice: an informed electorate and a watchdog free press? We have neither, with no sign of any on the horizon.

                  If a revolution comes to America, it’ll be a fascist revolution. Too many of the common citizens are armed to the teeth, filled with nationalist pride and deluded by three decades of right-wing misinformation.
                  March 31, 2013 at 11:46 a.m.RECOMMENDED13

                  1. It’s truly frightening how out of touch the NYT illiteratti are. Fucking trained seals, indeed.

                    1. If a revolution comes, it will be fascist, because the rubes have guns and REAGAN. You can’t make this shit up.

                    2. Yep. That’s exactly how fascism works. From the ground up. Every time.

                      This is why I don’t feel bad about not voting any longer. My little-bitty libertarian vote is no match for the power of the weapons-grade stoopid of the enlightened left.

                2. There are no words.

    2. If Americans can hide in cash, the state of the economy and country cannot really be that dire.

      WTF does that even mean?

      1. It means fuck you, you capitalist pigdog. Why don’t you move to Somalia and let the workers enjoy paradise?

      2. Well, I guess it means hyperinflation wouldn’t be a threat, at least.

  34. East St. Louis police officer shows up drunk, with a beer, in his squad car three hours after burglary called in by victim. His supervisor can’t find anybody to administer a breathalyzer, so he goes ahead and sends the officer home. The same officer was found passed out drunk in his squad car at a red light in 2007, and local prosecutors say they will not even take a case to court where he is a key witness.

    But we’re let to believe by our local cop apologist that union strength is a good thing for police departments and makes things better for the general public.

    http://www.bnd.com/2013/03/28/…..ended.html

    1. And remember, there are no double standards!

  35. Now there is a dude that knows what time it is.

    http://www.GimmeAnon.tk

  36. None of these is an April Fool’s joke.

    /pedant

      1. Since “none” is singular in this instance, it should be “is”. None = “not one”. Grammar Girl can suck my toe jam.

        1. …aaaaaaaaaaaand KRISTEN WINS!

        2. Periods go inside the quotation marks.

          1. That is also incorrect. Jeez, where did you learn English, Somalia??? No wonder you follow none of the rules!

  37. The Bernanke apologia machine is clanking away at full steam, this morning.

    “The economy will grow stronger, going forward.”

    Yup.

    1. To be fair, he didn’t say when or where it would grow stronger. Just that it will. Somewhere. Someday. For someone.

      1. Bernanke: There’s a place for us; a time and place for us. Hold my hand and we’re halfway there. Hold my hand and I’ll take you there. Somehow, some day, somewhere.

    2. There are no American troops in Baghdad!

    3. “Quantitiative Easing is the nation’s life.”

  38. So how’s that NCAA basketball tournament going for everyone?

    *crickets*

    1. Brackets? Anihilated.

      As a Syracuse alumnus and fan? Beyond excited.

      1. Didn’t Beilein coach at Syracuse before Michigan? Dude’s been pretty successful at both places.

        1. Unless Beilein is about 900 years old, no he didnt.

          Syracuse has had one coach since Hastings.

        2. Beilein coached at West Virginia before Michigan. Boeheim coaches at Syracuse (and has since 1976). Boeheim dominates Beilein (9-0 against him all time)

          1. Hastings/Bicentennial same thing.

            I knew Mrs Boeheim well before he did. We are much closer in age than they are (she has a few years on me). I met her when she was freshman at UK (I was still in HS).

            I cant fault his taste in women.

            1. Juli Boeheim is a lovely woman.

          2. Boeheim, Beilein…I mixed ’em up

        3. Not sure if trolling or serious?

    2. I was busted on both sides of my bracket on day one.

    3. I was in a dominant position in my pool until Florida gagged yesterday.

      Now Im toast.

    4. Duke lost. At this point, that’s all that matters to me.

      1. I discovered last night that I dislike Duke more than Louisville. I wasnt sure until then.

        1. While I am programmed by many factors to hate UofL, I’d root for them over Duke forever. I’d root for The Washington Generals or The Che Guevara All-Stars of Communism over Duke.

          1. Let me get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name and bet it *against* the Harlem Globetrotters?

            I thought the Generals were due!

            1. “No, Krusty, you always treated me rather shabbily. On our last show, you poured liquid nitrogen down my pants, and cracked my buttocks with a hammer!”

          2. I will root for the Al Qaeda football team vs uga football. In combat, I will root for uga.

            Same for Duke in basketball, at least as long as K is there. I wasnt exactly sure where Louisville ranked.

            So,

            1. Duke
            2. Louisville
            3. Al Qaeda And One
            4. Che Guevara All-Stars

            (the final four of suck)

        2. You must secretly still have love in your heart for Pitino. I just can’t quit him. Krzyzewski can suck it.

          1. Krzyzewski looks like a Dick Tracy villain.

            1. I dont think Dick Tracy villains said “fuck” that often.

              1. Well, no one really knows what Mumbles was saying, so…

    5. FGCU was actually my last shot. So I didn’t watch all weekend.

    6. We Wichita State alums are enjoying the ride, I gotta say.

  39. Anybody else disappointed in the Walking Dead finale last night? Seemed like a cop-out to me.

    1. My diagnosis: Bad writing.

      1. That should be expected from that show, but it was just stunningly anti-climactic as much as it had been worked up.

        [SORTA SPOLER ALERT] They posted earlier in the day that like 27 people were going to die. Who would have thought that 24 of those would have been extras?

        1. [SPOILER ALERT]
          Oh, and great idea – bring the grandmas and kids back to the nasty, obviously still zombie-infested prison, now missing a front gate and guard towers, instead of waiting at Woodbury for the Governor to return (where there is food and normal housing). Seriously, it’s a fun show but the logical decisions people make on the show are truly retarded.

          If I were in a post-apocalyptic zombie wasteland, I’d go with Michonne’s idea: take a road trip, steal a boat and clear a tropical island of all walkers. Then spend the rest of their lives lazing on the beach, eating coconuts and fish. Of course maintaining the perpetual drama requires utterly retarded decision-making.

          1. A lot of that came up on the Talking Dead afterwards.

            There were no good answers.

            I think the episode was good for advancing the Governor-as-a-bloodthirsty-nutjob once and for all, but how it resolved made no sense except as a “to be continued.” I mean seriously, he guns down everyone and then you just stand there with your rifle pointed at him and don’t fire? WTF?

            1. I mean seriously, he guns down everyone and then you just stand there with your rifle pointed at him and don’t fire?

              A combo of a neurotic need to be led, Stockholm syndrome, and misplaced loyalty.

            2. Even for Shuppert and Martinez (the gov’s evil henchmen), that scene should have been a bridge too far. If I were them, I’d kill him the next time he’s got his back turned and take leadership of Woodbury. He’s obviously way too unstable to be trusted by anyone.

              1. I mean, those two guys might be just as evil as the Governor, but they would still care more about basic self-preservation than blind loyalty.

                1. I talking more about the prison reject with the big mouth (Alan?) who just stood there blankly and let the Guv shoot him. The other 2 stood there shocked and then shrugged.

                  Maybe that becomes relevant in the next season.

                  The whole episode just seemed rushed and clipped.

                  1. Maybe it was clipped. It had an enormous number of commercials. If it had a run time of 38, I wouldn’t be surprised.

                    1. Maybe they should have let the scenes with Andrea freezing every time Milton grunted, run a bit longer.

                      I actually started fast forwarding through that.

                    2. Again, totally retarded that Andrea took her sweet time with those pliers no matter how many times dying Milton told her to hurry tfu. She deserved her fate richly. While waiting for her to finish dicking around with the pliers, I grabbed a pair of pliers, put it on the ground, picked it up with my feet and had it in my hands in about 30 seconds.

          2. Apparently in the comic (sorry, graphic novel!), they go to Alexandria, which is where I live. I’m hoping the show comes here – maybe I can get an extra slot!

        2. My wife was surprised (or at least acted surprised) that he did that. I have been waiting all season for the Guvna to finally reach this point. He’s a tv character version of your typical megalomaniac populist dictator/leader. It was about time he went full Mao. I suppose the Guvernor is also bat shit insane (heads in jars) to go along with being a despot, so there is some unpredictability there.

          I watched the last 2 episodes of the season back to back last night, and was completely dissapointed. The show has lost whatever momentum it had recovered from last seasons low-budget farm house adventures. I was also mad that the 2 most interesting, or at least different, characters on the show died: Merle and Milton.

    2. I didn’t watch, but got a basic rundown from a discussion. Glad that one person died. Was surprised that other person did not get killed.

      1. It’s bad when the surprise is all the people on both sides that didn’t get killed because they copped out on having a real battle.

    3. I’m a few episodes behind. It’s just so boring – I haven’t had the will to force myself to watch.

  40. Game of Thrones: Anyone else as stoked as I am?

    1. WHERE IS STRONG BELWAS?!?

      1. They didn’t put Strong Belwas in???

        1. Not where he was supposed to be introduced. I am disappoint.

          1. I am not amused. It’s bad enough that they don’t have the Reeds and that they killed off Irri and the rest of Dany’s inner circle for no reason.

            1. The Reeds were cast. Did they get cut?

              I’ve honestly sort of divorced the books from the show in my mind at this point. They’ve had to make so many changes.

            2. They cast a pretty convincing transvestite to play Meera Reed.

              1. That’s pretty much how I pictured her. Remember the Reeds and the rest of the crannogmen are the hillbillies of Westeros: backwards, inbred…and will absolutely fuck you up if you mess with them.

                1. Yes, but she’s also supposed to be elfin to suggest Children of the Forest descent. Instead, she looks like Angela from Sleepaway Camp.

        2. It’s the first freaking episode guys. Although apparently they introduced crazy evil maester guy whos name I can’t remember, but I missed it.

          Mance is gonna be great, and I’m really looking forward to that storyline. Also looking forward to getting more Danerys the badass. Plus…Barristan Selmy.

          1. There’s gonna be 11 episodes of “You know nothing, Jon Snow”

            1. She can tell me that all day and all night.

        3. They also cut the entire Arstan Whitebeard/Barristan Selmy storyline.

          *mini-rage*

          1. No they didn’t….

          2. They also cut the entire Arstan Whitebeard/Barristan Selmy storyline.

            I knew that was going to be necessary. There’s no way to keep up that in a visual medium. The later-on similar situation will be impossible for the same reason.

            1. Yeah that’s a very common book trope that is literally impossible to pull off in TV or movies.

            2. It would be interesting to see Sophie Turner as a brunette.

        4. Sir Selmy also immediately identified himself, although that was probably necessary given the media shift. In the book he’s just a mysterious old man for quite some time, but that’s hard to do when we can see it’s the same guy we saw in the first season.

          1. The thing is, once “Arstan” starts talking about King Robert, King Aerys, and King Jaeherys, it’s not the big reveal, but it is a pretty good indicator that this “squire” isn’t who he claims to be.

    2. I just finished season 2.

      I will be stoked for season 3 on DVD next Feb.

      Until then, fingers will be stuck permanently in ears (or I will read the books).

    3. Winter is coming. Now go away or I shall taunt you again.

      Scotland’s Doune Castle doubled as Winterfell ? the stronghold of the noble, foolhardy Starks ? in the first season. But before it starred in this sex- and violence-drenched saga, the castle was known for its role in a whimsical spoof: Visitors may find the 14th-century fortress familiar from “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”

    4. That and the Walking Dead finale are sitting on my DVR. Can’t wait for my school day to end so I can watch it this afternoon.

      1. As mentioned above, the Walking Dead finale sucked. Somehow, I’d assumed they’d get it right, since last season’s finale kind of redeemed what was a crappy season. This one was set up perfectly and they blew it.

    5. that seemed like a strong season opener.

  41. Fucking Lastros are trying to get my hopes up, but I’m not going for it. Despite the fact that the umps gave the Rangers 2 free outs in the first 3 innings. Oh well, at least we were in front of the Rangers at some point this season.

    Here’s the problem with the team:
    Astros OF Brandon Barnes, the longest-tenured member of the organization, addressed the team on Saturday night in advance of making his first-ever appearance in an opening day lineup.

    1. Miami is going to be worse: Placido Polanco is their cleanup hitter.

      In the past, he has batted 9th, but this will be his first time batting 4th.

      1. I’ll take a bet on that. Our lastros are essentially fielding a minor league team.

        1. OTOH, we get an entire team for less than the price of A-Fraud, so who’s the smarter owner?

        2. Yep, and you don’t even want to look at the farm system.

        3. I prefer to call them the Astroholes though.

    2. This is the first time Houston has held sole possession of first in their division since April of 2007.

      1. And they’re the only undefeated American League franchise ever.

        Appropriate that this is all on April Fool’s Day.

        I eagerly await the move of the Astros to Memphis, Charlotte, or Portland in 5 years or so when Crane comes hat in hand for upgrades to Minute Maid. The TV deal is the only shot he has of paying off any time soon, his ownership group’s debt from buying the team, and the deal isn’t going very well. I’ll be stunned if they win 55 games.

    3. Undefeated and in first place!

  42. Princeton alumna advises female students to get an MRS degree.

    “Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate,” Patton wrote in an open letter to the Daily Princetonian that has since gone viral.

    Preferably, her very eligible son who happens to be an undergrad.

    1. If they want to marry plumbers and spend their time polishing their husbands’ bowling trophies (that phrase is meant literally, not metaphorically), then go for it and God bless them. But if this makes them miserable (hence making their husbands miserable too), then they should bow to our de facto class system and play by the rules of the game.

      1. And if they get bored with their Princeton-educated husbands, there will be no shortage of domestic staff, poolboys, gardeners etc. they can have affairs with.

      2. Hey, plumbers make good money and they’re handy around the house.

    2. The comments are actually pretty sensible.

  43. Cesar Chavez was a Catholic who dedicated the larger part of his life trying to help the poor and disenfranchised. He looked out for the people that no one else could care less about.

    This is exactly the kind of person that should be celebrated on Easter Sunday.

    1. Wasn’t there some other guy who cared for the poor and got celebrated on Easter Sunday?

    2. Except for illegal immigrants. He hated them.

      1. Don’t mess with the narrative!

  44. Newspapers in France delivered by drones

    http://www.theatlantic.com/tec…..ne/274506/

  45. This is a funny joke. OTOH, this fills me with a mixture of hope and despair. Yes, we can save TV shows we love more than the networks. No, we should not save every TV show that 64k people are willing to pony up an average of $68 for.

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