A.M. Links: Pentagon Cutting Back Furloughs, Camarillo Overwhelmed With Porn Requests, Cyprus to Hang On to Euro


  • coming soon to camarillo?

    The Pentagon will be reducing the amount of furloughing scheduled for employees after the Congress  passed a spending bill that provided the Defense Department with more funds.

  • Rand Paul is trying to reach out to both supporters of his father, Ron, as well as establishment Republicans.
  • Camarillo, a small town west of Los Angeles, has been inundated with requests to film pornos there since LA started requiring condom use on the set. The Camarillo City Council passed a 45 day moratorium on approving any more adult film requests so that it could study potential effects.
  • A TSA agent at JFK airport accidentally sprayed himself and five coworkers with pepper spray.
  • Joe Biden is on his third vacation this year, going golfing in South Carolina for the Easter weekend.
  • Cyprus is not leaving the euro, the island nation's president insists.
  • Malala Yousafzai, the teenager shot by the Taliban for her activism, has landed a book deal.

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NEXT: TSA Agent Shoots Himself and Five Colleagues With Pepper Spray

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    1. Yeah, that is a bit on the edge for my workplace.

    2. it’s the antidote to Friday Funnies

    3. Agreed. He really did a bang up job cocking this one up.

      1. Don’t let your courage go limp now, harden your resolve, face up to your boss, and I doubt very much your career will go tits up.

      2. Yeah. He’s going to end up being the butt of a few jokes this morning.

  1. The Camarillo City Council passed a 45 day moratorium on approving any more adult film requests so that it could study potential effects.

    Cock blockers.

    1. They never saw it cumming.

    2. That’s right next to the Seabee base, so they’ll have an easy time finding extras.

  2. Check out the photo credits

  3. A TSA agent at JFK airport accidentally sprayed himself and five coworkers with pepper spray.

    The system worked.


      1. assault spray!!!11!

      2. Maybe OSHA will cite them for inadequate PPE/ventilation.

        1. The lack of coordination between government agencies is staggering. I’ve got a buddy in the construction business that got some grant money to retrofit the exhaust on his Cat D10 dozers. The filters had to be installed per CARB design, and sat on the hood of the machine and blocked the operator’s field of vision slightly. OSHA said they had to remove them or be fined about $1k a day. CARB said he couldn’t remove them or he’d be fined progressive amounts daily for breaking the terms of the grant issuance. He had to take the units out of service and use a smaller machine, because he was also forbidden from renting another D10 in place of his.

          His solution was to let the machine idle for enough hours weekly to meet the minimum threshold for the grant. You know what happened? The state EPA came in and fined him for breaking the idling rules. Ultimately, he decided to just turn the hour meters forward and claim hours that the machine hasn’t actually been used for, which will negatively effect the resale value.

          1. And DOT will fine him for that.

          2. I wish I had a D10…..or not. I would end up in jail for running over CARB/EPA/OSHA/State inspectors.

            Might be easier to just use my kubota tractor. Quietly.

          3. Sounds like he kinda chose to dance with the devil, seeking grant money in the first place.

            1. At the time, it was the only way to get a HUSS system. And you had to have one for Tier 0 engines, or you had to pull them out of service depending on your fleet size.

              CARB tied up every available unit for at least two years through the grant program. The man had signed contracts to complete jobs, and he didn’t want to break them. He danced with the devil because he was the only partner.*

              *Unless he wanted to sell his machines at about a $200k loss each and replace them with $1.5M machines that take nearly a year to get once ordered.

          4. The lack of coordination between government agencies is staggering.

            feature or bug?

            1. The top right hand does not know what the dozen left hand and eleven other right hands are doing. Who would have thought of that?

          5. I’ve been in some kind of chemical manufacturing my whole career, so yeah, I get it.

      3. Five TSA agents sustained injuries after being attacked on duty. Just proves that the scanners, full body pat-downs, and liquid bans are even more necessary than we thought.

    2. Ralph Wiggum: This flashlight hurts my eyes.

    3. How does he spray *five* coworkers?

      “Hey, everybody, stop your important security work for a minute, gather around and look at this cool laser pointer I just found!”

      1. I imagine that he did the old “look down the barrel, oops” and sprayed himself, then was wildly flailing with the can still spraying and hit a whole bunch of co-workers standing around a scanner or such. The video of that should be hilarious.

        1. Things like this are why they want it to be illegal to record them.

        2. Some types of pepper spray are pin-point, and there are some that work like foggers and fuck up an area.

      2. Shouldn’t be looking at laser pointers anyway.

        1. We are discussing TSA agents, yes?

    4. TSA should be issued frag grenades.

  4. Flagship Daily DIE WELT Stuns Germany: “Scientists Warn Of Ice Age”, Cites New Peer-Reviewed Russian Study
    …Kulke writes that not only is the CO2-science for explaining climate change one-dimensional, but that also only looking at changes in solar irradiance is completely inadequate. The sun’s fluctuating magnetic activity and its impact on the Earth’s atmosphere, direct and indirect, though not well understood, are proving to have a far greater influence on the Earth’s climate than many are willing to admit. This is all being backed up by leading research institutes such as CERN in Geneva and the Danish National Space Institute of Denmark.

    New Discovery: NASA Study Proves Carbon Dioxide Cools Atmosphere
    A recent NASA report throws the space agency into conflict with it’s climatologists after new NASA measurements prove that carbon dioxide acts as a coolant in Earth’s atmosphere.

    NASA’s Langley Research Center has collated data proving that “greenhouse gases” actually block up to 95 percent of harmful solar rays from reaching our planet, thus reducing the heating impact of the sun. …

    1. This shit cracks me up.

    2. If CO2 actually cools the atmosphere, there can be no doubt there is both a God and he has a wicked sense of humor.

      1. No, it says that CO2 and NO in the upper atmosphere absorbed and re-emitted a shitton of energy. Same as it does from the ground side. The important question — still not answered for me — is whether these effects are enough to create certain conditions. Namely, are there concentrations at which they cause more ground level heating or (worse, IMO) prevent enough energy getting through to the troposphere?

        1. I think you both can be right.

        2. It really wouldn’t matter in the long run. The re-emitted heat will eventually lead to more rain due to increased surface water evaporation. CO2 gets sequestered until volcanic eruptions and other out-gasing processes occur.

          IOW, as long as we have water and a hot mantle, run-away greenhousing aint gonna happen.

    3. Beware science by press release.

    4. Yep, once again science by press release shows its utter awfulness:

      Regarding the Sky Dragon link.

      Yes, of course the upper atmosphere is going to deflect and re-radiate the energy of solar storms, that’s why we don’t burn to a cinder when they happen. There’s nothing new here, this is what the upper atmosphere (thermosphere) does. CO2 (and other greenhouse gases ? GHG’s) in the lower atmosphere also re-radiates long wave infra red energy (LWIR) as backradiation coming up from the surface of the Earth as it dumps the shortwave solar energy absorbed returns as LWIR (heat) and makes its way to the top of the atmosphere.

      The claim by the “slayers” is the worst form of science misinterpretation I’ve seen in a long time. By itself I would have ignored it, but some of our friends in other blogs have picked up the story, and because of the NASA link, thought it was credible example as the “slayers” framed it. It isn’t, it is a twisting of the facts in a press release about solar flares and the thermosphere to make it look like the lower atmosphere works the same way.

      1. But it was cold yesterday. Explain that.

      2. Again, concentrations matter and having more CO2 in the troposphere will raise the concentration in the upper atmosphere. There might be a relationship between energy deflected back to Earth and energy being reflected off the atmospheric boundary. I don’t know. As you say, this doesn’t prove anything, but I’ve always been interested in how the boundary layers might interact, so this is cool for me. (And proves nothing by itself.)

        1. Oh, I agree.

          It’s this breathless simplistic crap that passes for the publicised “conclusions” that irritates me.

          1. At first I read that as ‘irradiates me’.

          2. publicised

            British version Friday?

    5. A few minutes spent looking at this chart should be enough to convince anybody that global warming is probably not going to be the problem.

      Based on the available evidence, the default scientific position should be that the climate is likely to get a lot colder, and stay that way for a long time.

      Even if CO2 does cause warming, increasing CO2 failed to stop the rapid temperature drops leading to glacial periods in the past.

    6. Because Venus is such an ICEBALL

      1. And it’s 26 million miles closer to the sun than Earth is–maybe that might have something to do with it’s surface temperature, no?

  5. Joe Biden is on his third vacation this year, going golfing in South Carolina for the Easter weekend.

    Luckily for Joe no one gives a shit.

    1. Hope he doesn’t try to eat a golf ball.

      1. I really hope he does.

      2. He dips them in coffee. Delicious.

  6. Rand Paul is trying to reach out to both supporters of his father, Ron, as well as establishment Republicans.

    Did it already get mentioned here that Rand Paul endorsed Mitch McConnell for the 2014 GOP Senate primary?

    1. What do you think would happen if he didn’t?

      1. Bad stuff.

    2. If I read this correctly, there isn’t any challenger at this moment:


    3. As long as he ain’t kissing up to the likes of McCain and Graham…

    4. McConnell is currently running unopposed, iirc.

    5. Rand Paul is trying to reach out to both supporters of his father

      He has two in Washington now?

      1. That was supposed to be all italics, the quote and my goddamned hilarious riposte. You can tell it was supposed to be in all italics, because I closed the i tag after the quote, which is how you make sure the whole thing shows up in italics.

        Fuck you, universe.

  7. Large restaurant chains expect little impact from Obamacare:


    AFC Enterprises Inc. (AFCE), operator of the Popeye’s chain, is among the employers that has few takers for its current plan. Ralph Bower, Popeye’s president-U.S., said in an interview that fewer than 5% of employees have signed up for a plan that carries high deductibles and costs $2.50 a week. So he doesn’t expect many more employees to enroll next year, when employees likely will have to pay about $25 a week for a plan offering more coverage.

    “It’s just not affordable for employees,” Mr. Bower said.

    Instead of buying insurance, Mr. Bower expects many employees will choose to pay the $95-a-year fine for being uninsured. “Do you want to pay $100 a month for health care, or are you going to pay a $95 fine that comes out of your income-tax return at the end of the year?” he said.

    1. So the reason they don’t expect much impact is because the law has increased premiums so much that no one is going to join their plan?


      1. Seriously. This is one of the dumber things Shrike’s ever posted. If this is at all representative of how his brain works (note: it is), I’m sure the company that gave him his big-city, high finance gig is thrilled that they had to lay him off in 2009.

    2. nice job on the misleading lead; no impact is the likely outcome of not doing anything. meanwhile, there is this:


      1. Sebelius said the picture on premiums won’t start coming into focus until insurers submit their bids. Those results may not be publicly known until late summer.

        Like Nancy said, you gotta pass it to see what’s in it.

        1. “you gotta pass it to see what’s in it.”

          Much like a stool…

          And in this case, I think we’re all gonna see blood.

          1. Thanks Bobarian. I am totally going to use this.

    3. Wow, that’s some seriously disingenuous bullshit right there. It’s only $95 the first year. In 2015 it jumps to $325, and in 2016 to $695. So previously, employees had the option of spending $130/yr for some very basic emergency coverage, and in three years, they’ll either have to pay ten times that for a bunch of extra coverage they don’t want, or almost $700 for nothing. What a great deal!

    4. Large restaurant chains expect little impact from Obamacare:

      Large businesses use regulation as a barrier to entry for the small businesses. Big surprise there.

    5. Wait, are you celebrating the fact that these people rather stay uninsured and pay the fine?

      1. Wait, are you celebrating the fact that these people rather stay uninsured and pay the fine?

        Consider the source.

    6. Um, $2.50 a week?

      Can I please please join that plan?

      Oh wait now that plan is illegal. Thanx.

    7. All I care about is that this doesn’t effect the quality of Popeye’s fried chicken. That shit is the bomb.

      1. So I’m in the motor pool getting ready to go to the field for a week. Some of the unit wives bring boxes and boxes of Popeye’s chicken, with one platoon sergeant’s spouse actually placing the order.

        AND NONE OF IT IS SPICY. I ordered him to get a divorce.

    8. Awesome, poor people stay uninsured and pay more taxes.

      Gotta love that Obama(don’t)care.

      1. There are *some* benefits here. In two years the low information voters, who are impacted the most, might just realize that the people they vote for and the policies they support actually matter. Hell, my girlfriend, both a lawyer and supporter of Obama, is shocked and alarmed by the actual mechanics of this travesty. This allows me to look smug, smile and nod.

        1. Hell, my girlfriend, both a lawyer and supporter of Obama

          That’s a lot of mistakes in one clause.

    9. The buttplug is happy that PPACA accomplishes nothing other than a regressive tax on minimum wage workers.

      The left really is perverse … and retarded.

  8. Janet Napolitano: Immigrants will change Arizona from red to blue
    Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano says the influx of immigrants into Arizona will put this conservative stronghold into the hands of the Democratic Party.

    The former Arizona governor predicted her state would turn blue in coming elections ? just like Nevada, New Mexico and Colorado has gained in Democratic popularity, she said in a Christian Science Monitor report….

    Turning immigration into a tool of social engineering
    …In recent months there have been many interesting revelations about New Labour’s immigration policy, but in keeping with our era of dumbed-down political debate the revelations have either been downplayed or have been used to fuel conspiracy theories.

    At the end of last year, a former government adviser revealed that ministers frequently discussed ‘open[ing] up the UK to mass migration’. But their aims were as much political and social as they were economic. Indeed there was a ‘driving political purpose’: ministers’ belief that bringing in more immigrants would make manifest their ideal of a ‘truly multicultural society’ and allow them to ‘rub the right’s nose in diversity and render their arguments out of date’ ….

    1. Haven’t seen you in a while Johnny. Glad you made bail.

    2. But, but, but, Reason Magazine assures me that immigrants will vote libertarian!

        1. Er, some cosmotarian somewhere, amirite?

    3. Are the Arizona immigrants expected to vote (D) coming from the south or the west?

    4. Wait, hasn’t Janet Napolitano actually *seen* Arizona? A quarter of the population of my state are Mexican-Americans and something like 8% are illegals.

      If we’re going to turn blue its not going to be because of hispanic immigration – we’re going to turn blue like Colorado. Large numbers of limousine liberals flocking to the Phoenix and Sedona areas and seizing control of the legislature.

  9. I guess cops are the same everywhere.
    Vancouver cop punched handcuffed bicyclist for asking why he’s being arrested.

    1. First Ralph and now Nelson.


      1. Those folks in Vancouver always get testy when the Canucks lose.

    3. It looked more like he punched him for pulling his hands away from the cuffs. Still seems like a bit much, but not as bad as the description.

    4. ‘It doesn’t feel good getting punched in the face, and you least expect it coming from a police officer.’

      One of those statement is true, one is laughably incorrect….I wonder which is which?

      1. It’s not really their fault. I mean, the government media and the government schools raise people to believe that the police are their friends. People don’t learn better until they are a victim of a crime and discover that the cops don’t care, or until they commit a victimless crime against the government and discover that the cops really really care.

        1. You mean they’re not all Officer Friendly?!

      2. It’s hard to say without knowing who he was talking to at the time.

    5. Is that Dave Attel?

  10. Cyprus is not leaving the euro, the island nation’s president insists.

    Greeks: Never leave your euro’s behind.

    1. *reduces gaze to mere slit*

      1. Finally. I thought no one was going to get that.

        1. We’re just desensitized after the ML lead-off photo.

        2. We are just so used to inappropriate apostrophe usage these days.

      2. I was going to make a joke about Fisty’s misuse of the apostrophe, but then I figured Fisty was probably trying to make a crude anal sex reference.

        1. If by crude you mean elegant, then yes it was very crude.

          1. Elegant compared to Warty, but that’s not much of a comparison.

  11. Kate Beckinsale…. drool…

    1. She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.

    2. And she is well over 40 at this point. Talk about aging well.

      1. Dude. Read the third line in the article. Nimwit!

        1. You are the only straight male on earth who reads the Fail for the articles. Really? You actually read the text of those links? Wow.

          1. You’re mocking me for pointing out your ignorance?

            1. I honestly never notice the text on those kinds of articles. And she looks good for 39.

              1. I’ll give you a clue then. With very few if any exceptions, the DM will post the age of the celebrity whose pictures they are showing.

                1. She doesn’t appear to be worried about gun violence generated by Los Zetas Cartel, does she?

                  Jeff Berwick and Co.(Dollar Vigilantes) continue to insist that life in Mexico is far more peaceful than life in these here states.

                2. Actual age – five years = celebrity age. John’s right. Beckinsale is probably 44.

                  1. Help me out below, brother. John is off his meds again talking shit about the Buckeyes.

                    And you still got the tix in your wallet, right?

                    1. Got the tix. Just ignore John. His argument is the same as that snaggletoothed Arizona fan sitting behind us last night. He’s buttsore. Fuck him.

        2. You expect us to read the words that are bracketing a picture of Kate Beckinsale in a bikini?

          What kind of monster are you?

      2. Better than Ashley Judd looked in some of those recent ‘photos.

    3. How can you tell? It’s just some woman with glasses covering her whole face, and a body that I could find on 1/5 women at my office.

  12. “Camarillo, a small town west of Los Angeles, has been inundated with requests…”

    They’ve been putting them in day and night.

  13. Man, 65, claims he was RAPED by young female nurse while recovering from accident in a Philadelphia hospital


    Yeah, dude. You wish.

    1. complaining or bragging?

    2. I didn’t read the link, but I suppose it’s possible to rape somebody anally. Would you want even a pretty young nurse shoving things up your ass?

      1. Apparently some pretty young thing in her 20s gave him an extra special sponge bath.

        I’m thinking it was the drugs.

      2. hmmmm, let me think about it.

        1. Hot nurse puts blindfold on Bardas Phocas.

          Bardas Phocas feels dildo being rammed up his ass.

          Blindfold is removed, and Bardas finds it’s a male orderly who rammed the dildo up his ass.

          How does he feel?

    3. Haven’t you ever read The World According to Garp? It can happen.

      1. It’s been a long time since I read that, but wasn’t something similar how Garp was conceived?

          1. Strange, it’s all coming back to me now.

      2. That’s the first thing that came to mind.

    4. I suppose it’s possible. Ever seen Peep SHow?

      1. Fiction is not real. Hope that helps.

        1. No, but it can help to imagine plausible scenarios sometimes. It’s certainly possible for a woman to rape a man. Unlikely, but it could happen.

          Here’s the scenario that seems most likely. Some dude passes out at a party (and probably gets some dicks drawn on his face for good measure. Some nasty skank sees that he’s got some morning wood and decides to go for a ride. I’d call that rape.

          I didn’t read the link, so I have no idea what happened there. Probably not that.

          1. I didn’t read the link

            Shorter Zeb: Derp!

            1. Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    5. Not as funny as the “Monroe gets raped” episode of Too Close For Comfort.

      I miss Ted Knight.

  14. Home-schooling family who fled to U.S. from Germany face deportation: Parents face charges and $9,000 fine for taking kids out school as Obama officials prepare to send them back


    They took their kids out of government schools? How DARE they!

    1. D.A.R.E. to take your kids out of government schools.

    2. You know what else happened to certain people trying to escape Germany?

      Do I drink now, or wait for someone else to respond appropriately/inappropriately?

      1. No joke – the ban on homeschooling in Germany dates to 1938.

      2. Whether there is an appropriate or inappropriate response, drinking is always appropriate.

        1. Done and Done. And I mean done.

        2. It’s always happy hour somewhere.

    3. Reason covered this:


    4. A sixth child was born after they took up residence and [sic] Tennessee and won permanent asylum on human rights grounds.

      Wait, they don’t get automatic citizenship anymore?

      1. Anchor babies are only for illegals. These idiots tried to follow the law.

    1. I already know I’ll fail, but I’ll try.

    2. Among the items discovered was a newspaper article about a 2008 massacre shooting at Northern Illinois University in which six people, including the perpetrator, were killed.

      So, Eugene. Since Lanza was apparently obsessed with the Northern Illinois shooting and spent large amounts of time looking up information about it, that means we should censor the media and not allow them to report on crimes that could inspire a copy cat.

      Right, Eugene? Where…where are you going, Eugene.

    3. Maybe just one young life would have been saved. To me, that life is worth more than being in the good graces of the NRA; to members of Congress, perhaps not.


      1. If locking up Eugene for the rest of his life might save ONE CHILD, then it is totally worth it. I expect Eugene to report to the jailhouse this afternoon.

    4. Why should we take the government propaganda about Adam Lanza at face value?

      1. Is there any reason not to?

        1. Perhaps you glossed over the word propaganda?

    5. At least the Post doesn’t run Robinson and Dionne on the same day. Oh, but Gerson has a column today. Yet I still subscribe to the print edition.

      1. Yet I still subscribe to the print edition.

        You’re both sadistic AND masochistic.

    6. Is this the kind of America we want?

      You mean an America that effectively taxes you 50 percent,an America that has armies of overpaid bureaucrats approving questionable drugs that are forced on children through the shitty school system, a nation that values uniformed thugs over entrepreneurs, a nation with an entire generation(s?) of young people saddled with the debt of worthless college degrees and the bullshit debt of their idiotic forbears, and a nation that effectively has 1,300 Sandy Hook’s worth of deaths on its roads every year?

      No Eugene, we don’t want that fucking shit AT ALL.

    7. The NRA would say that the issue here is mental health, not firearms. But there are plenty of young men who play gory video games and harbor violent fantasies. How can you pick out the few who lose all distinction between fantasy and reality? Clearly, Nancy Lanza couldn’t. I don’t think anyone really can.

      You’ve convinced me, Gene.

      Let’s ban *all* young men.

    8. Man that guy is some fucking dumb.

    9. How can you pick out the few who lose all distinction between fantasy and reality? Clearly, Nancy Lanza couldn’t. I don’t think anyone really can.

      Yes, Eugene — we know this already. And yes, this is part of the price we pay for freedom.

      I think Mark Levin’s rant from last night is an appropriate response.

    10. Anytime I hear the name Eugene Robinson I can’t help but think of the football player who received an award from a Christian organization and later that day got arrested for soliciting a prostitute. Then the next day he played in the Super Bowl.

  15. Dr. Virginia Soares de Souza is accused of killing patients in the intensive care unit at Evangelical Hospital in order to free up beds. Three other doctors, three nurses and a physiotherapist who worked under her have also been charged.

    Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/lif…..z2OvygYxzO

    1. It’s their own damn fault they couldn’t pay.

    2. Is that government health care, cuz it sounds like government health care – except for the efficency part.

  16. Police officers asked to leave a Buffalo Wild Wings by gun-fearing waitress

    A waitress who is afraid of guns refused to serve a plainclothes police officer when she spotted his weapon.

    Looks like the officer was doing a shitty job of concealing his concealed weapon. I mean, what part of “concealed” does he not understand?


    ‘Police officers are always welcome in my establishment and even though we do have a no gun policy, as a company that excludes off duty police officer,’ he wrote in a statement emailed to the local CBS affiliate.

    Slurp slurp

    1. But there’s no double standard, of course.

    2. Isn’t it a law in Virginia that nobody is allowed to carry a gun, concealed or open, into a restaurant that serves alcohol. I sure thought it was when I lived there and had a CCW permit. I’m sure there’s an exception for a cop doing an investigation, but otherwise, these guys should just fuck off.

      BTW, PoliceOne had this article up the other day. The comments are….predictable.

      1. I thought places that served alcohol in VA were open carry, but you couldn’t partake. But maybe there’s a 51% rule I don’t know about. (Although BW3s would be right on the edge.)

        1. You can carry, but you can’t drink. There was a lot of pants shitting hysteria when the law went into effect because the media tagged it as the “guns in bars bill”…except the rule applies to any fucking resturants where they serve alcohol. So if it’s possible to get a drink, then you couldn’t carry before.

  17. Computer Fraud and Abuse Act would make it a felony to “lie about your age on an online dating profile if you intended to contact someone online and ask them personal questions,” or if you violate the terms of service on a government website.

    1. Jesus, even this proposed statute allows for criminal forfeiture.

      1. Hey, it’s only the people who use the internet who will be guilty until proven innocent. How many people use the interwebs anyways?

    2. Maybe that’ll discourage 15 year olds from pretending they’re 18?

  18. http://americanglob.com/2013/0…..obamacare/

    CNN wonders if maybe Americans were mislead about the cost of Obamcare. Read that without putting your fist through your monitor. Nice of those hack assholes to notice this three years too late.

    1. They work for CNN. Do you really expect them to be quick on the uptake?

      1. CNN really went down the tubes when James Earl Jones left.

    2. Next up: Were we complicit in lying to the American public?

      1. If they were stupid enough to believe it sincerely, were they lying?

  19. So… for those on here that recommended the Unincorporated Man, someone has gone the route of selling shares of themselves. The guy then allowed his stockholders to vote on his personal life.

    1. Hold a vote on what substances he can ingest, then a vote on how or whether he can defend himself against attackers, then a vote on what kind of insurance he’ll buy…it will be hilarious!

      1. The article talks about the fact his shareholders voted him vegetarian, and he followed their wishes. There was also a section about his work provided life insurance, and how it would get distributed to shareholders.

        1. And once they have that sorted out they vote for him to off himself?

    2. Goddammit. Nobody wanted to play with this last night when I put it on the PM links.

  20. http://online.wsj.com/article/…..n_newsreel

    Affirmative Action likely to meet its end in the coming years. As the Dems become more of the party of Mexicans and rich white people, without affirmative action what reason do blacks have to vote D?

    1. Freebies.

      1. But the freebies are going to get less and less. There are only so many freebies to go around.

        1. While Other People have money, there are always freebies.

          1. While Other People have money,

            And that seems to be getting less and less true every day.

            1. The more the money dries up, the louder the cries for freebies becomes.

      2. The problem is that, since there is no longer any stigma attached to grasping for freebies, everybody is doing it, it’s harder to target freebies to particular cultural and ethnic groups.

    2. Simple, there will be affirmative action for blacks and hispanics with rich white democratic supporters exempt from having to follow affirmative action rules. Win/Win/Win.

      1. And anybody who disagrees/resists will be called racists and taxed into poverty. Win/Win/Win/Win(for them).

    3. without affirmative action what reason do blacks have to vote D?

      To punish Republicans for 1964 and to signal to other blacks that they are down with the cause. Nothing else really matters.

      1. Does the “1964” comment refer to the 1964 Civil Rights Act?

        The same civil rights act that had the following votes in the House and Senate?

        Democrats voting in favor 69%
        Republicans voting in favor 82%
        Democrats voting in favor 63%
        Republicans voting in favor 80%

        The same civil rights act that was filibustered by Senators Albert Gore, Sr. (D-TN), J. William Fulbright (D-AR), and Robert Byrd (D-WV)?

        That one?

  21. A documentary 40-Year-Old Virgins, to be shown on Channel 4 in the UK, follows devout Christian Clive as he flies to the U.S. to meet Cheryl Cohen-Greene, a sex therapist and surrogate sexual partner whose work inspired last year’s Oscar-nominated film The Sessions starring Helen Hunt.

    Read more: http://www.news.com.au/enterta…..z2Ow0z6jdc

    1. The words “Oscar-nominated” and “Helen Hunt” never, ever belong in the same sentence.

      1. What the hell is a “Helen Hunt”?

        1. I think it’s rhyming slang.

      2. She actually won an Oscar. At least, the actress did; the hair stylist didn’t.

    2. Wow. That might be the most unattractive pair ever filmed screwing.

      1. A simple search for amateur porn will put that idea to rest.

  22. http://www.fox23.com/news/loca…..te4aQ.cspx

    Crazy sexy chick who pushed her husband out of a window found guilty. Jury recommends 25 years, which will probably mean 20 years. She will be in her early 40s and back on the market.

    1. All yours, bro. I can find sexier with a non-homicidal flavor of crazy.

      1. I would have voted to convict based on the crazy eyes alone.

    2. “I will be working with the Family Safety and DVIS agencies to educate the community on domestic violence against men. (I want people to know) that domestic violence is a non-gender crime.”

      Heads are exploding all over Jezebel.

  23. “A pro-abortion group was forced to post a message on its Facebook page begging followers not to become violent after North Dakota Governor Jack Dalrymple reportedly received death threats after signing three new laws restricting abortion.

    “”We have received word that Governor Dalrymple is receiving death threats,” wrote the owner of the “Stand Up for Women ND” page. “Please, friends, do not make these inappropriate threats against ANYONE, and please urge your friends to do the same.””


    Why can’t that N. Dakota governor simply pass the buck on the issue, like that earlier governor in Judea?

    1. Funny how that hasn’t made the news. If it were anti-abortion people issuing the threats it would get 24/7 coverage.

      1. I heard about the threats on NPR yesterday.

      2. Media bias is a wingnut myth.

        Palin’s Buttplug told me, so it must be true.

  24. The Professor, the Bikini Model
    and the Suitcase Full of Trouble

    A world-renowned physicist meets a gorgeous model online. They plan their perfect life together. But first, she asks, would he be so kind as to deliver a special package to her?

    1. No one is that stupid and horney. He knew what he was doing.

    2. Theoretical particle physicist has absolutely no common sense, shocker.

      As a former physics student who left for engineering, I can attest that lack of good judgement in life issues is a common trait in the hard sciences.

      1. My wife works in medical research. She says Big Bang Theory is only moderately a farce. Sheldon Cooper lives in universities and labs all over America.

    3. Amazing little story, and just so many wrong things went into it.

    4. Can’t wait for the movie to be made.

  25. http://dailycaller.com/2013/03…..ime-photo/

    Man wakes up with sharpie drawn penis on his face and proceeds to beat the holy hell out of his roommate then takes a great mugshot. I bet he got out of jail before his roommate got out of the hospital.

    1. Pure awesomeness from Shatner. Wonder if that was the original Gorn actor? I’m gonna post that one.

      1. The costume looks like the real thing.

        1. If they paid that kind of attention to detail, hiring the original Gorn, Shatner, and having the commercial directed by the guy who directed the show, I’ll buy the game. I’ll toss it, since it’s Star Wars Trek and not the real thing, but they’ll get my money.

        2. Or, in the alternative, I could respond, “Yes, very Shatner-like.”

      2. 82 years old! 82!

        1. Seriously, the guy looks like he’s in his sixties. Nimoy, on the other hand, looks like Keith Richards.

        2. And he can still dodge a couch cushion.

          1. With aplomb. With aplomb.

  26. Now Kraftwerk are banned from playing in China

    1. Only 214 more countries to go and the planet will be safe.

    2. Nihirists

    3. I’ll just leave this here.

    4. I’ve managed to see them three times, but now my dream trip to Shanghai is ruined.

  27. http://www.nationalreview.com/…..-pollowitz

    Ben Carson has the nerve to point out that a lot of black people voted for Obama because he is black and the Democratic party makes a living attracting the free shit brigade. CNN commentator has kittens.

    1. He’s a fucking *neurosurgeon*. He’s not really Black.

    2. Don’t they openly say stuff like that all of the time? I mean, without the pejoratives, but essentially the same thing?

    3. People act like Dr. Carson just popped out of nowhere. My mother went to listen to him speak about ten years ago and has bought several of his books. His message has been consistent throughout the years. The MSM seems absolutely shocked that a guy who is smart enough to be director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital is also smart enough to form his own opinions.

      1. He is a black man carol. Black men are not supposed to do that kind of thinking. They are supposed to leave that to enlightened white people.

    4. Cynthia Tucker quotes:
      “One of the reasons is that Carson doesn’t seem to know black Americans’ political values very well.” “But black voters tend to be more discerning than that.” “In fact,black voters have been increasingly allied with the Democratic Party since the 1960s when Lyndon Johnson pushed through significant civil rights legislation. Al Gore received about 95% of the black vote in 2000, John Kerry about 93% in 2004.”

      Thus, according to Tucker, their “unerring instinct for rejecting condescension” leads blacks to favor overwhelmingly the Democratic Party even though 1960s era civil rights legislation had far more support from Republicans than Democrats. Even though Bill Clinton’s mentor and Al Gore’s father even filibustered the Senate in opposition.

      Also, the fact that 90%+ of the black vote goes Democrat no matter what suggests that much of the vote is “discerning” only in the free shit category.

      1. Yeah somehow the party that freed the slaves, rammed through every single piece of civil rights legislation passed in the 19th century, and then was stymied for half the 20th century by the rise of the Democratic Party’s new leftwing coalition from passing any more is somehow the racist one.

        It’s a propaganda victory that dwarfs anything Leni Riefenstahl pulled off. Somehow the party which was founded to oppose slavery, which has not once in a century and a half of its existence supported slavery or Jim Crow somehow became the racist party. Meanwhile the other party, who only stopped supporting Jim Crow when the leftist wing of the party became more powerful then the rest of the party, is somehow the enlightened tolerant one.

    1. It’s a link to memory hog Hoffington Post. Got a brief synopsis of the advice?

      1. It’s his balls, not his cock.

    1. That sort of made me sad, but she’s still a 9 on non-picky scale.

      1. Works for me mom jeans or not.

      2. *my non-picky scale

    2. Even if they’re Mom jeans, they’d still look real good on my floor.

    3. How are those “mom jeans”? They look like regular straight leg Levi’s to me.

      1. High waist, design of the ass.

  28. http://online.wsj.com/article/…..oveLEFTTop

    Behind a pay wall. Wisconsin Republicans prove to be shit bags on vouchers but inadvertently reveal the real reason why people object to vouchers; they allow black people to go to white schools.

    If you are against school choice, it is a pretty good bet it is for racist reasons. Funny how one of the few no kidding racist political positions left in America never gets called out for being such.

    1. Jesus. I’m with you on this one John.

    2. I am not necessarily on the school choice bandwagon and I am pretty sure I am not a racist.

      1. What is wrong with school choice? Why not let parents choose their kids’ schools?

        1. I’m opposed to vouchers, mainly because I predict it will destroy what little independence private schools have from the state.

          My concern with school choice is that it could in certain situations lead to a tragedy of the commons situation. I’ll explain with a historical example.

          Here in MA, schools, like fire departments, are funded largely by local taxes with the state kicking in some money.

          A few years ago, the town of Lexington decided to slash their fire department budget. There is an agreement among towns that should one town’s emergency services get overwhelmed by some incident, other towns’ fire departments etc can be called upon for mutual assistance.

          Lexington having slashed their budget, started availing themselves of the emergency services of surrounding towns, and the cost of dispatching units to Lexington started straining the budgets of the neighboring towns. Now, this problem was solved by a deputation informing the Lexington govt that if they continued on the current course, their calls for help would go unanswered, and last I heard Lexington had stopped this tomfoolery.

          I imagine that school choice will have a similar effect; either towns will do their best to make outsiders unwelcome or they will essentially stop spending money on infrastructury things.

          1. Now, wanting an end to the government school system, the scenario I am describing is very attractive to me, since I think it’s about the only politically feasible way to do it. However, I fear that rather than having 50% of the population (a number pulled out of my ass) getting really bad schooling and (40% getting OK schooling), it will be 80% with 10% being able to flee to private schools because the pain is so high. That’s a lot of kids to sacrifice to get a political outcome.

          2. That is not what would happen because of federal funding. Schools look at kids as walking checks. When a kid attends their school, the feds give a check to the school. You get your federal funding based on how many kids you have. So if you have real school choice, schools have the incentive to provide good service to lure students and their accompanying funding.

            The bottom line is that without vouchers, schools have absolute power over any parent who can’t afford private schools or to move. You don’t like how we do things Tarran, go fuck yourself the law says you have to send your kid to our school. Vouchers would totally reverse that dynamic.

            1. John,

              You raise a good point, but I think are overlooking the flaws in the system you are describing.

              If the feds become the primary funders of the system, we’re going to get essentially the educational equivalent of medicare, gobs of money being spent of uneccessary things where any attempt to bring fiscal discipline to the system gets a huge voting block angry. In the meantime I expect that the quality of education will go down everywhere, because education won’t be the goal, getting money from Washington DC will be

              I just think that there is no way to reform a system that is, at its core, fundamentally flawed.

              1. If the feds become the primary funders of the system, we’re going to get essentially the educational equivalent of medicare, gobs of money being spent of uneccessary things where any attempt to bring fiscal discipline to the system gets a huge voting block angry.

                That might be a concern, if we were not already spending trillions on education every year. The difference is currently that money doesn’t go to benefit the students, because the students don’t matter. The money goes for administrators and things that don’t benefit the students. Education in most cities is nothing but a jobs program for the black middle class. It can be that because they are never answerable to their customers. Vouchers would change that.

                In the meantime I expect that the quality of education will go down everywhere, because education won’t be the goal, getting money from Washington DC will be

                That has always been the goal. The question is how do you do that? Currently how you do that has nothing to do with educating kids or doing anything that benefits your students. Vouchers would change that.

    3. I’m sure racism is a big part of it in a lot of places. But a lot of people believe the teacher union nonsense as well. And most people just go long to be good team players.

    4. You have to remember that public education is a huge employer for the black middle class.

      The black middle class is happy to keep the black underclass in segregated schools in inner cities, because young white girls won’t go teach there, leaving all the jobs in those schools available for blacks.

      That means the white racists who want black kids in their own schools have a community of interest with black rent seekers. Win/Win.

      1. Pretty much. And the black middle class doesn’t want the black under class in their schools anymore than the white middle class does.

      2. The black middle class also doesn’t want those schools fixed because that lessens their value as a jobs program. When they actually tried to fix the schools in Washington DC, the black middle class went into revolt and voted a black mayor out of office.

        1. Talk about an epic clusterfuck. DC schools were actually getting on the right path and the fools derailed it immediately. The voters blatantly put the teacher’s union above the students. In a nearly single issue election they chose an obviously corrupt shyster over an incumbent with a record of modest success. That whole fiasco caused me actual physical pain, and I don’t even live there or have kids.

  29. Doctors Quitting Early Due to Burdensome Obamacare Regulations

    “The 2013 Deloitte Survey of U.S. Physicians, a survey of more than 600 physicians from the Deloitte Center for Health Solutions, found that “six in 10 physicians (62 percent) said it is likely many of their colleagues will retire earlier than planned in the next one to three years.”

    “Based on the survey results, Deloitte found that most U.S. physicians believe that, among other worries, under Obamacare, “The future of the medical profession may be in jeopardy as it loses clinical autonomy and compensation,” and “Medicaid and Medicare reimbursements may be problematic, prompting many physicians to limit or close their practices to these enrollees.”…”


    1. Doctors Quitting Early Due to Burdensome Obamacare Regulation

      Or decamping to Ukraine.

      Come back, Groovus!

      1. Has anyone heard from Doc?

        1. We won’t hear from him; I suspect that with the acquisition of a mate, he has fallen from our noble commenting ranks.

        2. I talk to him once in a while. He’s been giving us much good advice on Baby Reason and making sure we ask/demand the right things from all medical personnel involved.

          I’ll ask him again to come back, but I don’t know if he’ll listen.

          1. Why did he stop posting here?

            1. Rather spend time with his woman.

            2. His schedule for one. I would guess his squeeze was another.

    2. Find a boutique practice if you can

      1. Didn’t Kristen tell us there was such a thing as “artisanal medical care” or some such nonsense the other day? maybe he can do that.

    3. Is there a German word for finding satisfaction in the unintended consequences of something you hate(Obamacare) that will inevitably hurt you in some way? If so, I think it applies here.

    4. It should be illegal to refuse a medicaid patient. There… problem solved by the wonderful power of government.

      1. It should be illegal to quit your job because you don’t want to deal with burdensome government bullshit. There, slavery instituted.

      2. It should be illegal to refuse a medicaid patient.


        1. ^^^This. Soon it will be illegal to refuse medicare/medicaid patients. There’s no problem caused by a stupid law that cannot be fixed by passing another stupid law.

  30. http://twitchy.com/2013/03/28/…..ork-hours/

    Liberals shocked the Obamacare is costing them hours and money.

    1. “just hours”

      1. if there were smart, they’d realize their hours we’re capped at 40 for essentially the same reason. i recall being pissed about that as teenager at the dry cleaners over the summer. i wanted to put in 80 hours a week. and i would have declined the OT to do it.

        1. I wanted to work a bunch more when I was in high school and college. I wasn’t doing anything with the time anyway, I might as well get some money out of it instead of sitting around the farm being bored.

          1. Overtime rules exist to stop you from outcompeting people who don’t work to work that much.

            1. It’s the standard liberal approach: everyone ends up equal, which is all that matters.

    2. Notice the lefty Chron’s waffling:
      “Study: Some health premiums to rise by 14 percent”
      No where does it say ‘higher costs brought to you by Obamacare’. Instead it says ‘well, it’s OK since only the rich are taking it in the shorts’.

  31. “[Medical Examiner Dr. Gary] Collins said he never would have imagined the abortion occurred in a clinic that lacked trained staff, up-to-date drugs and equipment, and rescue equipment to revive patients in distress.

    “You would think you would have people trained in CPR and actual nurses, registered nurses, if you are doing abortions,” Collins said….

    “In addition to Mongar’s death, Gosnell faces seven counts of first-degree murder for allegedly killing late-term babies who were born alive. Prosecutors are seeking the death penalty on those counts. Gosnell denies the charges.

    “Three clinic workers have pleaded guilty to third-degree murder for their role in Mongar’s death, or for cutting babies in the back of the neck to ensure their “demise.” One is an unlicensed medical school graduate, another a woman with a sixth-grade education who administered anesthesia drugs.”


  32. The Ohio State – Arizona game last night was one of the best live sporting events I’ve seen in quite some time. I almost keeled over from the adrenaline rush when Ross nailed that 3 at the end.

    Can’t wait for tomorrow. Got the tix already.

    1. Syracuse and Marquette have fucked me. My only hope now is for FGCU to actually go all the way.

    2. So, you were in Staples last night?

      You lucky dog – that’s what you said to me last year as I got to see your boys beat Syracuse in the East regional at the TD Garden.

      I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow as I watch.

      1. Yep. My first trip there as well. Pretty nice. Went Stubhub because the scalpers weren’t dropping their prices an hour and a half before the tip off. We bought Saturday tix for under $50 each on the street afterward.

        1. Where are your seats for Saturday? How much deviation from face value?

          Do use Stubhub much?

          1. About 75% of face but we waited until 2 hours before tip off. We bought tomorrows game tickets from a scalper and I got them for less than half of face because I just love to beat someone to death in the negotiations.

            We’re in 326. Are you going?

    3. At what point does Ohio State stop pulling last second shots out of their ass? They should have lost two games now.

      1. Why? Do they award games that are tied at the end of regulation to the lower seed or something?

        Sorry, but that’s the dumbest post of the day, John.

        1. No they don’t. But you can’t get lucky every game. Iowas State clearly outplayed Ohio State and would have won absent a luck shot and an ass raping by the officials. I am just telling you, their luck is probably going to run out.

          1. A luck shot and an ass raping? Did Charles Barkley steal your login or something? It was a good look at the bucket because the defender sloughed off expecting him to drive. As far as the officials, are you talking about that one call where 1/2″ of a guys shoe would have been on the charge arc if his heel were down? And you expect the ref to be looking at that instead of the body contact and who initiated it (which was obviously Clyburn) so he could make the right call?

            And by “clearly outplayed”, are you referring to the 11-point comeback they had to make in the last 8 minutes to even be in the game?

            Did you even watch the game, or did you just youtube search “Charles Barkley Dumbass” and watch the first video that popped up?

            1. That was clearly a block and ISU should have gone up by 4. That was the game. ISU was the better team that day. Change that call and OSU never has a chance to make good on a shot that goes in maybe 30% of the time.

              1. If he’s outside the circle, it’s a charge 100% of the time. A half inch of his shoe would have probably been on the line if his heel was down. And you expect that ref to get the call right from the baseline outside of the lane at full speed? And you assume Clyburn would have made the FT (He’s a 76% FT shooter, but it’s still not a given). And you then assume that lead would have stood up for 1:41 when Ohio State would have had the ball.

                If “If’s and But’s” was candies and nuts, we’d all have a Merry Christmas.

                1. His foot was on the circle. The video is clear. And even if he hadn’t made the free throw, the call disallowed a basket that went in. That is a two point loss no matter what.

                  The call wouldn’t bother me so much except that those kinds of calls always go for the higher seeded teams. You never see a high profile team be the victim of a bad call. The refs go out of their way to fuck the lower seeded teams. With any luck WSU will shoot like they did against Ganzaga and the refs will be denied the ability to rape them, because they will if they get the opportunity.

                  1. You’re huffing paint. His foot was not on the circle. 1/2″ of his heel was (probably) above the circle and he was on the balls of his feet. Every other component of that play was 100% a charge. The shooter dropped his shoulder and initiated contact with a player that had established his position. And I don’t care who you are, the ref makes that same call 90% of the time.

                    And one of the refs is from the Big 12 (ISU’s conference) and the others were from the Big East and the MWC. None called any Big Ten games all year, so drop the conspiracy theory bullshit.

                    I’m sorry, John, but the ref made the call in real time, not with the benefit of CBS Super Slo-Mo with a blown up and enhanced view of a foot from an angle the ref wasn’t looking at the play from. And he made the same call 90% of the refs in America would have made regardless of who was playing.

                    And if WSU shoots 50% from the 3-pt line against Ohio State, they’ll probably win going away. But it’s a lot tougher to shoot 50% on 3’s against a team that plays a perimeter man to man defense like Ohio State and a team that plays a soft zone or man-switch coverage like Gonzaga. IOW, it’s not likely they get as many good looks from the outside tomorrow night.

                    1. His foot was right there. And again, oh it was a tough call, would be more believable if every “tough call” didn’t go the same way. The ref blew it. And that was the game.

                    2. Blown up still photo of his foot. But the ref wasn’t looking at the play from CBS’s camera. He was on the baseline further outside of the lane that this…and he was in the correct position to make the call. And like I said, he made the call the same way it’s made 90% of the time.

                      If you don’t like the rule, demand they change the replay policy, but I can assure you that’s about the only way this doesn’t end up being a charge regardless of the jersey either player was wearing.

                      BTW, Ohio State was hit with a cheap technical foul call early in the game that cost them a point and a possession. By your logic, you could have taken those points away and the Buckeyes would have won by 6.*

                      *Because both teams would have continued on n the game the exact same way regardless of the score, right?

                  2. And even if he hadn’t made the free throw, the call disallowed a basket that went in. That is a two point loss no matter what.

                    Right, because the Buckeyes would have played the last 1:41 game exactly the same way regardless of the score.

                    Are you reading your own shit before you post, or is this some kind of stream-of-consciousness insane gobbledygook that your therapist said was a good way to work through whatever it is you’re working through? Well here’s a tip: I don’t think she meant for you to do it while interacting with other people. More likely she wanted you to do it in a journal and burn it every week or so.

                    1. Sure Sloopy, it is no big deal to rob a team of two points late in a game that was decided on a last second shot. The magical Buckeyes would have still made it up. We just know it.

                      Just admit it, OSU got incredibly lucky and won a game despite being outplayed. And chances are, if they get outplayed again, which is likely to happen either this Saturday or the next, they won’t be as lucky.

                    2. And chances are, if they get outplayed again, which is likely to happen either this Saturday or the next, they won’t be as lucky.

                      I’d wager they haven’t been “outplayed” since mid-February. And I base that on their results, which are 11 wins and 0 losses in that time frame.

                    3. Just admit it, OSU got incredibly lucky and won a game despite being outplayed.

                      I’ll admit it. We got lucky. It was a blocking foul, not a charge.

                      Also, what about that pass interference call in the 2003 National Championship game that allowed the Buckeyes to go on to defeat Miami? That was a bad call, too. I’ll admit it. But I like the results.

                      Don’t worry John, your Cowboys will be relevant in college sports again. Some day. 😉

                    4. Actually, that call in the ’03 championship was correct. The issue was that it came so late because the ref couldn’t get the flag out quick which always makes people question the call. It was PI, though, so it was a just decision.

                      (I hate both, but admittedly hate Miami more.)

                    5. You are right that Natty Champ call was a bad call.

                      It was defensive holding, not pass interference.

                      If you actually did your homework and watched the full replay you can see the hold BEFORE Krenzel delivered the incomplete pass.

                      Fucking rules in sports…how do they work?

              2. Actually, tOSU is shooting @ .500 on three-pointers. So, it’s even odds that shot goes in. Stats pwned.

                1. They were not shooting 50% on that three pointer. Not all three pointers are created equally. They were not shooting 50% on ones three feet behind the line with the defender’s hand in their face. That was a luck shot.

                  1. Your version of “three feet behind the line with the defender’s hand in their face” is quite different that the real world’s.

                    He stepped the man off and was just outside the line. The defender’s hand never even got to Craft’s face by the time the shot was out of his hand.

              3. God dang it John you are so full of it.

                You clearly didn’t watch either of OSU’s last 2 games.

                Sloopy stop feeding the troll. This guy is going ‘Sports Shrike’ on us.

      2. Worked for NC State, didn’t it? It’s better to be lucky than good, especially if you’re playing in a single elimination tournament.

    4. Actually, one my first thoughts when I saw that shot was “Huh, bet sloopy is happy right about now”! Funny how you think about an event when you know someone is there in person.

      1. EDG and I went. The wifey and Baby Reason will be indoctrinated completely tomorrow night at Staples Center. WSU looks tough, but I think the Buckeyes are just on a tear right now.

  33. plagued with a rash of humiliating incidents at area airports ? including the failure of Newark screeners in February to catch an undercover fed with a fake explosive stuffed in his pants at either of two checkpoints.

    Authorities have called for a top-to-bottom review of that airport’s procedures.

    Stuff writes itself.

  34. Comeon dude, lets roll with it one time. Wow.


  35. The Camarillo City Council passed a 45 day moratorium on approving any more adult film requests so that it could study potential effects.

    Potential effect #1: Tons of money flowing into the town.

    1. This is one reason I doubt the ability of the economy to respond in a timely way to economic downturns.

      The incredible power at the state and local level to simply freeze economic activity you don’t like makes it essentially impossible for the market to react to changing conditions.

      “Oh, shit! People are doing stuff they didn’t do before! Let’s STOP THEM COLD so we can ‘study’ all this for a while,” means that all economic activity is throttled down to the mental level of any parochial local bureaucrat. If they don’t like or understand what you’re doing, or if it’s not in their ‘plan’, they’ll stop you from doing it.

      1. At the end I started to read that in the Joker’s voice.

        1. Cesar Romero Joker? Nicholson? McCorpsy?

          1. Ledger of course, due to the ‘plan’ part.

            1. McCorpsy it is.

            1. That was for Auric, not you. Give me a little credit for knowing who the real Joker is, man.

              1. That has more to do with my asperger’s than it does you Sloopy.

      2. Anyone hear about this? Eastchester NY has put in place a ban on “fast casual” restaurants and any chain with more than 15 locations. That den of unhealthy food – Panera Bread Company – wanted to open a location there.


        1. “Panera Bread Company: Making Healthy People Unhealthy Through Carbs Since 1993”

  36. Extremely interesting article about Boston police using social media to bust indie shows, and how enough trolling destroys trust in online groups.

    1. Fuck off, sockpuppet.

      1. Curses, foiled again!

        1. Say, I sure do love committing crimes because I am a cool dude. Would anyone like to discuss details about the crimes they’ve committed recently?

          1. Burn it! Burn it all! Get your automatic bullet guns and murder police cops! Who’s with me and brave enough to post under their real names?!?

            1. Your real name is SugarFree? Weird.

              I started posting under my real name after I got the bull terrier/boxer mix. It would be so fucking awesome to see him rip someone to pieces.

              1. Don’t you remember that was always what Dondero said when challenged? And he’d post his phone number.

                1. He was just so ronery.

                2. Ah, I missed that. He was being run off just about the time I started.

                3. The first and only time I got into it with Donderoooo it ended up that way. I remember it now. It was like he was completely unaware of the nature of the internet, yet still able to function here…

    2. In that sense, the cops seem to be succeeding through another tried-and-true Internet tradition. Trolling is almost always transparently obvious, but when it’s unflagging and endlessly annoying, it can be extremely discouraging. Troll a group of people hard enough, and they may end up saying, like famed Boston Beat Gang punk Joe Sly, “What’s the point?”

      This doesn’t remind me of anything at all.

      1. So you are telling me that Shreek and Mary Stack work for the Boston PD?

        1. No, he’s saying that if Boston PD figured this out, sub-grade morons probably managed to figure it out decades ago.

          1. Once the internet opened up to morons in the late 1990s, it was troll city.

      2. Nonsense, people still post here despite Tony and shriek!

        1. That is only because they are not dedicated enough. Mary Stack almost ended the entire board.

          1. Mary Stack almost ended the entire board.

            Not for about 99% of us.

            1. The White Indian character with the endless cut and paste was making the board unreadable.

              1. Elizabeth Warren? As a Senator she’s too busy to troll us now.

              2. The White Indian character with the endless cut and paste was making the board unreadable.

                Fucking reasonable, how does it work?

    3. Sound like Boston can save some money by firing a few dozen cops.

      1. We are getting a new mayor soon.

        1. Yes, and every time Boston, or any major northeastern city, gets a new mayor, things inside the unionized city employee structure get shaken up.

          Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.

          1. Don’t take my hope away. I need it. I’m not a Browns fan.

    4. Kindest regards,

      I am the son of a deposed Nigerian prince who is looking for a new venue for his Afrikaans punk band. Please send me the address of your fine establishment so that I might mail you the sum of US$ 50,000,000 as an advance on the fee for usage. With this money you will purchase a private jet to send back to pick up the band and its road crew.

      Warmest best friendship,
      Choonda Smith

      1. Why hasn’t anybody jumped on this opportunity?

    5. The only people hipsters can trust not to be narks are the ones calling themselves narks ironically.

  37. OK, this is totally foreign to any concept of justice I can imagine:
    “Prosecutor, falsely arrested, ordered to pay bank $50K”
    Gal is falsely arrested, sues, loses, has to pay BofA’s legal fees, since she was attempting to stifle BofA’s free speech.
    Anybody got a handle on how this works?

    1. Sounds like she filed what the court considered to be a frivolous lawsuit.

      1. Maybe, but griping about a false arrest doesn’t sound frivolous to me.

  38. Video of the North Carolina mountain man who’s being railroaded by bureaucrats.

  39. Would anyone like to discuss details about the crimes they’ve committed recently?

    Well, there was that drug courier, but how was I to know he was a DEA agent?

  40. when it’s unflagging and endlessly annoying

    I’m glad that never happens, ‘cuz it would totally suck.

  41. Q: How many college athletes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: Just one. But he gets three credits.

  42. North Korea reaches out to American conservatives

    North Korea has revealed its plans to strike targets in Hawaii and the continental United States in photos taken in Kim Jong-un’s military command centre.

    The photos appeared in the state-run Rodong newspaper and were apparently taken at an “emergency meeting” early on Friday morning. They show Kim signing the order for North Korea’s strategic rocket forces to be on standby to fire at US targets, the paper said, with large-scale maps and diagrams in the background.

    The images show a chart marked “US mainland strike plan” and missile trajectories that the NK News web site estimates terminate in Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas.

    1. Well, if they can target well enough to hit West Hollywood, Silver Lake, 6th Street and Capitol Hill, I might have to take back some of the bad things I have said about the NORKS.

    2. Missiles fly over the pole, but not, apparently, Nork missiles.

      1. Un must be a fanboy because he’s replicated Dr. No’s lair from the 1962 movie.

    3. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from movies, if you aren’t destroying new york, you’re doing it wrong.

  43. I really haven’t been paying attention, but does anybody actually believe the North Koreans have the capability to hit the continental United States?

    1. I was checking around, and AFAIK, the answer is ‘no’.

    2. The North Korean populace probably believes it. Other than that… no. Just more saber rattling, IMO.

      1. Saber rattling without a saber.

      2. Apparently while there’s not a lot of food up north, gullibility could be a cash export.
        Tony Judt claimed Easy Germany’s major product was bent statistics; they made money from it.

  44. Holy shit!


    Does FEMA hand out food stamps applications at disasters now? Almost 40% of LA on gov’t cheese in 2009?!?

    Check out Alaska for some really fucked up seasonal variations. I would have thought food stamps would be more desirable in the winter there.


  45. A couple of sick old people are being persecuted for growing their medicine. Despite the wife having AIDS and cancer, the couple had to endure a SWAT raid for growing 29 plants on their 8 acre property.

    More info here.

  46. Jesus fucking christ… 24 years for installing hidden compartments in cars: http://www.wired.com/threatlev…..red-anaya/

    1. “The agents took Anaya to the DEA’s office in downtown Los Angeles, where they questioned him at length. Anaya spoke freely about his traps…”

      Big mistake. NEVER think an agent of the government is benign, and NEVER talk without an attorney. NEVER.

  47. Hello, please visit the next link to help a men that can lose his house.

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