Budget Proposals Have Entitlements Gobbling GDP, Obamacare Worries Stall Hiring, Iraq War Killed 112,000 Civilians: P.M. Links


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  1. Competition is bad, and they’re doing it wrong! *cry*

    “Donor-subsidized care should not mean substandard care for people who go to a humane society or shelter to adopt a pet,” said Patricia Hill, president of the South Carolina Veterinarians Association.

    A bill making its way through the state Legislature would limit care animal shelters can offer to homeless animals or pets. Animal welfare advocates say the veterinarians are putting their business ahead of the pets they mend.

    1. Animal welfare advocates say the veterinarians are putting their business ahead of the pets they mend.
      so what stops the advocates from raising money to pay the vets? Any other professionals they believe should offer their services for free?

      1. You know, an enterprising advocate could become a veterinarian and work for free or for donations. They’d become a hero to homeless dogs and cats everywhere.

      2. They just want a racket as good as the MDs get.

  2. Nanny Bloomberg now wants cigarettes hidden out of view in stores, because … because … then it won’t even occur to you to buy them!

    I’m proposing someone turn Bloomberg into a comic book superhero. The Adventures of Nanny Bloomberg as he takes on the evil Tobacco Lobby and its insidious plan to use subliminal messaging in cigarette displays.

    1. Mikey Poppins ?

      1. More like Mary Peckerhead.

    2. “Hey, Mike, you know where you can put those cigarettes?”

      Doesn’t this clown have, like, a JOB to do?

      1. Nope. All of NYC’s other problems (education, traffic congestion, emergency preparedness, crumbling infrastructure, etc.) were solved years ago.

    3. Bloomberg has really just gone full retard.

    4. He is already Lex Fucking Luthor.

    5. Already have that in Canada.

      1. Is it everywhere in Canada? When I lived there it was only some provinces.

  3. I got back from abroad yesterday and waited over an hour in the TSA queue for my connecting flight.

    An otherwise-very-intelligent friend of mine blamed it on the “silly sequester”.


  4. Kevyn Orr, the new Detroit emergency financial manager, seems to be a tad ($16K) behind in paying unemployment taxes.

    Experience matters.

    1. Representative democracy in action.

  5. Flame on: Religion professor doesn’t understand atheism.

    In the end, Williams was handed a decidedly strong victory with more than two times as many votes from the audience as the infamous atheist, Dawkins. It was a triumphant day for the faithful and a shameful one for the irreligious.

    But actually no one really is irreligious.

    This world beats to the rhythm of religion in a thousand ways, and absolutely everyone is religious — including atheists.

    Religion certainly includes an idea of a God under whom man is inherently subservient, but religion also governs the belief system undergirding the way people think about, and live, their lives.

    1. Some people cannot grasp not needing or wanting a “higher power”.

      1. People who don’t need or want a “higher power” are mentally ill.

        It’s been proven by science.

        1. I mean just look at me. There has to be something wrong with me.

          1. I thought you worshipped the Elder Gods. They still count.

            1. “I know that my God is coming back. I’m going to be waiting for Him with a shotgun, and I’m saving the last shell for myself.”

            2. It’s in Epi’s DNA. He has no choice.

              1. It’s God’s will. Who says He doesn’t have a sense of humor?

              2. Epi may, in fact, be the shell for their return.

                It would explain the tentacles.

                1. Is this an anthology about Epi’s exploits?

                  1. Coming Together: Arm in Arm in Arm… is a collection of erotic fiction with a tentacle sex theme edited by Nobilis Reed. All proceeds benefit Oceana, the largest international organization working solely to protect the world’s oceans.

                    Uh huh.

                    1. I’m continually impressed by your ability to get to n+1 where n equals whatever awful anybody else comes up with.

                    2. I take great pride in that ability, jesse.

                    3. Uh, no. This is.

                      Thank goodness I scrolled, because…I almost posted the exact same thing.

                      Fuck, that is messed up.

                    4. It’s messed up that you’re basically as disgusting as me, or that Kitty Glitter’s most excellent story is messed up?

                    5. The former.

                    6. This is why you two share a crown.

                    7. We’re a special breed, nicole. Revel in it.

                    8. We’re a special breed, nicole. Revel in it.

                      I do. It’s almost as good as reveling in the blood of virgins.

                      But what with jesse’s mention of our crown-sharing arrangement, and this coming up earlier, I’m worried people are starting to catch on to our secret…

                    9. I cannot “un-read” that.

      2. This is incredibly similar to the “anarchy doesn’t exist, because violence!” shit we see here. How unsurprising.

        1. You there, I have made beer-battered, bacon-fat fried, chocolate-dipped pineapple, and it was delicious.

          1. AND YOU DIDN’T MAIL ME ANY????

            1. Haha, I’m sure that shipping that kind of health hazard across state lines wouldn’t get me a visit from a Postal inspector.

              1. Oh, like you complain when men in uniform show up on your doorstep.

                1. You know, historically I would’ve agreed with you, but my now my getting out of a speeding ticket by being slutty fantasies are tempered by sloopy induced terror. Thank you sloop for continuing to be a ruiner.

                  (not gonna lie, I still probably wouldn’t complain)

          2. Charlie: A grilled Charlie has peanut butter last!

            Frank: Okay, you’re either inside or outside?

            Charlie: Peanut butter outside, chocolate inside. Butter inside, cheese outside.

      3. we often accuse liberals of using the state as that higher power. What stops atheism from being seen as perhaps an anti-religion, one NOT seeking that power but nonetheless, one whose adherents are generaly grounded in some moral code.

        1. What stops atheism from being seen as perhaps an anti-religion…

          Definitions and logic.

      4. I would be OK with people believing in A higher power.

        But they never stop at one. Instead they believe in lots of TOP MEN. Presidents, central bankers, policemen, firemen, armymen, teachers, clergy…. the list of false gods goes on and on.

        1. Yep. See my link to that atheist blog repository above for some excellent examples.

        2. Well, FTB to which Coeus links is a PZ Myers joint. The big split in atheism is between the proggy wing led by Myers, and the libertarian wing led by nobody. Well, maybe Penn Jilette, but he’s not got a cult of personality as does Myers.

          1. libertarian wing led by nobody

            The highest concentration of atheist libertarians I’ve seen is here. The Slymepit is probably the second.

          2. Michael Shermer?

    2. …but religion also governs the belief system undergirding the way people think about, and live, their lives.

      Because living in a culture that’s been influenced by religious thought is the same as being religious? That’s… poorly thought out.

    3. Wait, they had a vote and because more people sided with one over the other, that is a victory.

      This exactly like polling who prefers death or who prefers cake.

      Raise your hand if you want to be an immortal and live in a flawless body?

      Raise your hand if you don’t.

    4. “Religion certainly includes an idea of a God under whom man is inherently subservient,”

      So, wouldn’t that mean that atheists are not religious? Make up your mind, dude.

  6. Apparently the Cypriot Parliament is refusing to go along with the confiscation. Iceland redux?

    1. Since many of the holders of the large accounts are wealthy Russians, it might not be a good idea to piss them off. Hit squads might be in the future of those who vote to confiscate those Russians’ wealth. And it would be justice.

      1. please please please please
        please please please please
        please please please please
        please please please please
        please please please please
        please please please please
        please please please please
        please please please please
        please please please please

  7. According to Federal Reserve data, concerns over the impact of Obamacare have busineses reluctant to hire.

    So does that make businesses racist or the Fed racist?

    1. It’s racism all the way down.

    2. Businesses. Duh. Obama appointed Bernanke, so he can’t be racist.

  8. Nanny Bloomberg now wants cigarettes hidden out of view in stores, because … because … then it won’t even occur to you to buy them!

    Since the filters for explicit content on Google, Bing, DuckDuckGo, et al. have done so much to keep people away from porn.

  9. California state senator proposes bill to extend liquor sales to 4am in the state.

    1. A little hard up for tax money, are we?

    2. Ooh, I called the radio on that one Thursday afternoon on my way home from the coast. I railed against the state having any control over when businesses open or close from a property-rights perspective and argued for 24-hour bars from a public-safety perspective (because the drunks would leave at intervals instead of all at once). The host was so stumped to argue it that eh just gave up and said I was right.

      Every caller after that got told that I was right and they were wrong unless they agreed with me. It was pretty sweet.

  10. Whatisthisidonteven?:

    When school districts treat trans and gender-nonconforming kids as “different,” requiring that they use special bathrooms, is it any surprise when the other kids follow suit?

    Trans adults face legal discrimination in everything from housing to medical care to employment to getting a driver’s license. You know who is much more likely to face verbal harassment or even physical assault for using the bathroom? Trans people. You know who is probably going to be totally fine using a bathroom? Cis people. Yes, even if a trans person is in that bathroom with you!

    Apparently the non-rad feminists have decided that trans trumps the “eek!! A Penis!!” response.

    1. And of course, if I ran the world, we’d also have a universal third bathroom option open to whoever wants to use it.


      *One* bathroom to rule them ALL.

    2. Why don’t the plumbers’ unions and contractors help their big-tent Democrat friends by suggesting an ADA revision mandating trans bathrooms? Or would their rights advocates say it is too othering?

  11. Man who tries to shoot cops given 34 years (for firing once).

    LA cops who tried to shoot two Mexican women delivering papers given paid vacation (for firing in excess of 100 shots).

    Seems fair to me.

    1. You forgot to say conjecture that being Mexican, the two women were probably illegal and therefore breaking US laws and therefore not really worthy of due process anyway.

  12. “The Iraq war killed at least 112,000 civilians, and may have a total death toll as high as 174,000, according to a new report.”

    Bullshit, what the linked article actually says is that at least 112 and possibly as high as 174K died during the war period; not that the ‘Iraq war’ killed them.

    Does iraq on iraq crime count as ‘Iraq war’?

    1. War is messy. I guess you didn’t realize that. If you start a war then it’s your mess.

    2. Died or were killed violently?

      I guess you would have to compare it to a similar country that didn’t get invaded and then descend into civil war for context.

    3. I was wondering that myself. Also wondered if it was broken out by who killed them. Was it us or the insurgents? I suspect the majority was the latter.

    4. At least this estimate is much lower than the Lancet study that the proggies raved about when it came out.

    1. I saw some of that. So much angst for the guys, none for their victim. A whole lotta hand-ringing over how the black player’s alcoholic father said he loved him for the firs time ever. My wife was ready to throw something at the screen.

    2. I just don’t understand why it is a national story at all. I would think that sort of thing happens fairly often.

      One thing I have found odd about the coverage is that the victim seems to be universally referred to as “16 year old girl” and the rapists as “highschool football players”, never as “16 year old boys”. Not that their age excuses anything at all, but it strikes me as odd.

      1. From what I understand a few people alleged a larger cover-up (people in power protecting the football team) and said more people should have been arrested. They managed to get a few outside groups (including the Internet group Anonymous) to come in and that got lots of press coverage.

        1. Anonymous isn’t an ‘outside group’. Anonymous is everywhere.

      2. I just don’t understand why it is a national story at all. I would think that sort of thing happens fairly often.

        Because of the rather odd way it got to the courtroom. The police and prosecuters had originally swept it under the rud, but then a social media campaign started investigating it privately, eventually compiling so much evidence that the TOP MEN were forced to go back and acutally do their jobs.

        1. Ah. That makes it a bit more interesting. I had’t really heard about it, that I can remember, until yesterday.

  13. Nanny Bloomberg now wants cigarettes hidden out of view in stores, because … because … then it won’t even occur to you to buy them!

    WTF? Is he just trolling NYC at this point or what?

    1. The only good thing about this is that if anyone deserves this, it’s New Yorkers.

      1. What about the ones that don’t?

    2. It’s nice to see one’s enemies descend into the madness of self parody.

  14. The Iraq War killed 112,000 future terrorists. Who are they kidding?

  15. I posted this in the fatty thread, but it seems worth reposting. Newtown happened because of video games, because high scores. We better ban spreadsheets, too.

    1. Training for MS Office made me want to kill John Lennon. .

      1. Training for MS Office made me want to kill John Lennon. .

        John Lennon is already dead.

        1. After digging him up Killaz won’t have much energy to chase him down. Being dead already makes killing him easy.

    2. a chilling spreadsheet 7 feet long and 4 feet wide that required a special printer

      Well, at least ban high-capacity printers.

  16. Tiger Woods is now dating Lindsey Vonn.

    Hopefully he is mindfully that if he cheats on her she has access to those ski pole thingys, which I imagine can do a lot of damage to a Cadillac Escalade.

    1. He definitely has a type. Good to see him getting his shit back together and winning tourneys again over this past year.

    2. which I imagine can do a lot of damage to a Cadillac Escalade
      or to a zygomatic arch.

    3. It’ll all be good until he gets tired of her bullshit

    4. Well, I can understand why a hot babe would want to date him – I mean, he is incredibly good-looking and he did tell her that she is the only one for him.

    5. Not to mention she could probably actually kick his ass without having to resort to whatever stray Nike iron is laying around.

      1. I don’t know. Is he back off the steroids and HGH?

    6. Why would Vonn be so stupid?

  17. Gawker responds to the CPAC straw poll results. Comments are terrible as always.

    A sample:

    reluctant.meatbag yesterday
    I find this stance Republicans are taking against drones killing citizens as a profound moral stance to be hilarious. The implication that they are unique and bold in this stance, which in reality should be a given for anyone, except the Let’s-Kill-Citizens-with-Drones Party. The other implication being that their opponents *are* in favor of killing citizens, which is a laughably clumsily stupid thing to imply. I imagine Rand Paul up on some potium, beating his fist against it in time with the cadence of his speech, all Kennedy-like, ” I oppose all of the bad things out there, bad things that my opponent like, because he’s bad!” Ridiculous. Even more amusing, the only thing I can see that’s keeping the Democrats from making these same claims is the ultra-partisanship in Washington. Gotta laugh to keep from crying.

    Who_BobJones Reply
    The even funnier thing is that people believe Obama is the one ordering the strikes, or carrying them out himself. Like he’s some sort of mastermind behind this all.

    Let’s take a moment to realize who first called upon the use of drones.. hmmm.
    W? Yeah. It was definitely Dubya.

    1. The even funnier thing is that people believe Obama is the one ordering the strikes, or carrying them out himself. Like he’s some sort of mastermind behind this all.

      …I’m going to go home and cry into my gin. Again.

      1. So now the president being a puppet is a good thing?

    2. It can’t be said enough: partisanship makes you retarded. Or is it that retards are likely to become partisans?

    3. Are you sure they were not having a contest to see who could sound the least self aware and most hypocritical and uninformed?

      1. No, you’re thinking of “elections”.

        1. Thread Winner!

          1. Indeed.

    4. Bush is still the one launching these drone strikes. That one perceptive commentator.

    5. Proggies have always been against drone strikes. /Orwell

    1. It’s easy to tell them apart. Their mole-thingies are *completely* different.

    2. Guess Chavez was off by a few years

  18. Exhibit A for why there should be special prosecutors for police officers: A Northern Illinois University police officer was formally charged with raping a student even though the charges were dropped four months ago by a prosecutor who had gotten a signed statement from the officer wherein he admitted to have continued having sex with the student after she told him to stop.

    So let’s recap: a suspect signs a statement admitting that he continued to have sex with an unwilling partner and the prosecutor refuses to press charges. Yeah, that happens all the time with “civilians”.

    1. According to a typed statement Rifkin signed Oct. 31, 2011, he picked up the student outside a fraternity house Oct. 14 and drove her to his home in a nearby town. The statement indicates they had consensual intercourse, and he then tried to initiate anal sex.

      In the statement, Rifkin says the student stated, “Stop, stop it hurts.” The statement then says the student “stated words similar to this approximately 4-5 times.”

      What is it with my fellow members of the Tribe and “she-wasn’t-unresponsive”-ness?

    2. Let’s start with ‘raping a student’.

      Doesn’t that sound awful? The guy must be a pedo….oh, wait, she’s a college student. So not a pedo.

      Then we get to the sex–which was okay…..until he tried to slip it in the back.

      There’s lots of cop garbage to post–I don’t know if this is up to snuff. This sounds a lot like the girl who was ‘raped’ because when she woke up her beer goggles were gone.

      Not to put too fine a point on it, but what was she doing when she was saying ‘stop, stop, it hurts’? She may have been angling herself around/ sliding it into a better position.

      Consensual sex doesn’t become rape because one partner did something the other didn’t like in the heat of the moment.

    1. Nobody does research like Rachel. Nobody. And it shows.

      Ooooooookay then.

      1. It’s true. Nobody uses crayon to mark up the latest talking points memos quite like Maddow does.

    2. In other revelatory news, the sun came up in the east today and is expected to set in the west.

      1. Humph.

        If you had read the unscientific belief comments, you would have known to say ‘the Earth’s horizon dropped in the east this morning and will continue rising in the west this evening due to the fact that the Earth rotates as it revolves around the Sun, creating the illusion that the Sun revolves around the Earth – a simple scientific fact of which we are all aware’.

    3. What *is* it with HuffPo?

      That link almost killed my browser.

      1. A lot of shiny objects and Kardashian stories to hold their target audience’s attention for more than 10 seconds.

      2. Nice to see I’m not the only one who finds HuffPo to be an extreme memory hog.

    4. Don’t worry, my clone army of Lucy Stags is almost ready.

    5. My god. The butthurt and outright denial in those comments is breath-taking.

  19. Holy Fourth Amendment, Batman! What the fuckity-fuck?????

    Seriously, how in the fuck are these guys not standing before a judge?

    FTA: “If he opened the door enough just to stick his head in and make a real quick cursory look to make sure somebody wasn’t in here and then shut the door, then he’s perfectly within policy,” the investigator said. “He’s perfectly within what officer safety would tell him to do.”

    Yeah, that’s fucking bullshit. You don’t feel safe, you leave the property you entered illegally to begin with. Also, they searched bags and a car on the property and damaged a security camera. They had no warrant or PC to even enter upon the premises, by the way.

    1. To recap: officer safety would tell him to open the door of an unfamiliar house where nobody is home and stick his head in it without first knocking and announcing his presence and/or requesting someone come to the door.

      I weep for our future.

      1. But a Garland police internal affairs investigator who met with the family told the Locke’s that he did not have a problem with the actions the officers took and also acknowledged that he thought one of the officers had opened an unlocked back door to look into the house.

        You know how in movies and TV shows, the IA cops are always the bad guys, trying to put every cop in jail for just doing their jobs?

        That always cracks me up.

        1. I must watch different movies and TV shows.

      2. “I heard people moving around outside my house so I moved away from the windows and doors. A man opened my door and made a furtive gesture toward his waist, so I shot him.”

        1. If that’s your statement, you better send it in e-mail form, because if you shot a cop in that situation, the chances of you ever leaving that house alive are zero. They’d have the SWAT Team (with snipers) there in a few minutes and your ass would be leaving in a body bag with about twenty holes in you.*

          *20 holes assumes the cops got off at least 250 rounds unhindered.

          1. Assuming they don’t simply throw in some burners and roast your ass.

    2. If officer safety is a real concern in the matter, sticking your head in the door is a VERY stupid move. Seriously. Someone could be standing right there and just pop a cop. Probably would’ve done the world a favor if that was the scenario, however.

      1. Yeah, officer safety demands busting the door down and tossing in a flashbang.

  20. OK, here’s possibly my last pitch at you bastards to enter the Reason Hit & Run Superdrone College Basketball Bracket Pick-Em.

    It’s anonymous, so those of you with careers and families and wives like Morgan Fairchild can keep your involvement under wraps.

    1. I’m still heartbroken that UC Irvine didn’t get in by winning the Big West tournament.

      Oh well, back to being a student at a school who’s most successful sports program is Men’s Volleyball.

      1. Asian men are tall enough to play volleyball?

        1. Apparently. Anteater volleyball is the defending NCAA National Champions. Zot!

          1. Waitaminute. Wait a minute.
            Wait. A. Goddamn. Minute.

            Men play volleyball?

            1. Umm, you need to spend more time on the beach in Hermosa/Manhattan in the summer. Wall to wall gorgeous persons of both sexes in little clothing jumping up and down. There’s something to make everyone happy (except for maybe John).

              1. There is no such thing as a gorgeous man.

                1. Bull. Shit.

              2. Beach volleyball is also very popular among both sexes here in Chicago.

                And yes I am trying to entice jesse to come and cook carbs for me. My neighborhood is pretty gay!

                1. Carbs are bad. I just figured that out.

                  I went zero to low carb for the past two weeks and have lost 7 lbs (195 to 188) and feel fucking great. I’m going until I get back to my fighting weight of around 170.

                  1. Maybe you should squat more, Ken.

                  2. Yeah, yeah, I know. But they’re also delicious. I have cut a lot of carbs and lost weight and it’s been awesome and also miserable and I will never weigh 80 lbs anyway so what’s the point and where are my potato chips?

                  3. Carbs are bad.

                    This is why I bake bread and bring it in to work and social events. I don’t eat much of it myself and I look better by comparison.

                    Do beaches on lakes have waves?

                    Last time I went to Chicago, I was there just long enough to see police in riot gear goosestepping down to some square filled with peaceful protesters. My friend’s fiance from Chicago wouldn’t let me stay and watch the carnage.

                    1. Beaches on lakes as big as Lake Michigan have waves, yes.

                    2. So you’re offering a carb-fest in a gayborhood and a beach with waves and male beach volleyball players. I’m not seeing a downside to this visit.

                    3. The surf is…not what you’re used to. Lake surf makes east coast surf look positively gnarly.

                    4. Hehe, I was going to note it was definitely more wavy than Long Island Sound πŸ˜‰

                    5. That’s why you go to Misquamicut or Watch Hill.

                    6. And now we find out that Epi has been stalking my surfer little sister.

                      She’s still underage!

                    7. Like that matters.

          2. Tee-hee anteater

            It’s a great campus, I haven’t been down since a friend of mine finished gradschool though. There are some nice cycling trails nearby.

            1. Oh totally. Biking the back bay to Newport Beach is a great activity.

              1. My friend took me on a UCI-Laguna-Newport-UCI loop. We made the mistake of having a heavyish lunch and beer in Laguna, but the ride was otherwise perfect.

                1. I may bring the tandem down on our next trip to LA or Orange County (if my kids come and watch the baby). I’ve always wanted to do that ride.

      2. Your baseball team is usually pretty good.

        1. Good enough to make the regional tournaments, although they haven’t made a College World Series since 2007.

          Still love going to the games though.

  21. The Iraq war killed at least 112,000 civilians, and may have a total death toll as high as 174,000, according to a new report.

    Needs more zeroes!


    1. No man. I’m the one who wanted to get rid of Saddam. You would’ve let him stay in power. I’ll never get as high a body count as you would have had you had your way. You’ve got me beat by miles.

  22. Fuck you NYT.

    In statehouses across the country, though, the N.R.A. and other gun-rights groups have beaten back legislation mandating the surrender of firearms in domestic violence situations. They argue that gun ownership, as a fundamental constitutional right, should not be stripped away for anything less serious than a felony conviction ? and certainly not, as an N.R.A. lobbyist in Washington State put it to legislators, for the “mere issuance of court orders.”

    By analyzing a number of Washington databases, The New York Times identified scores of gun-related crimes committed by people subject to recently issued civil protection orders, including murder, attempted murder and kidnapping. In at least five instances over the last decade, women were shot to death less than a month after obtaining protection orders. In at least a half-dozen other killings, the victim was not the person being protected but someone else. There were dozens of gun-related assaults like the one Ms. Holten endured.

    That seems like a great reason to strip 2nd amendment rights from everyone who gets the now common first salvo in an acrimonious divorce.

    1. Five in a decade… so like 1 every other year over.

      How many protective orders were issued in that time? I would venture to guess several thousand. So you’re looking at a less than 1% margin.

      So all people should lose their rights because of a miniscule few.

      1. They weren’t rights any DECENT person wanted to exercise anyway.


    2. They don’t have any dead children to stand on, so they’re going with what they’ve got at the moment.

      1. We should take solace that this is what the gun-grabbers are down to so soon after Newtown.

    3. In at least five instances over the last decade, women were shot to death less than a month after obtaining protection orders.

      Holy shit, fretting over five deaths over a whole decade.

      1. How many of them tried to get a gun to protect themselves and how many were killed during the ‘waiting period’. That’s a stat I’d love to see. How many women murdered by violent bfs/husbands while they were waiting for their state-sanctioned self defense.

      2. But what if you’re one of those five?

        (stalks off triumphantly)

    4. In at least five instances over the last decade, women were shot to death less than a month after obtaining protection orders.

      But the inability legally to possess a gun would have stopped the murders? Is that the implication?

      Also, one instance every other year is enough to do away with the 2nd?

    5. . In at least five instances over the last decade, women were shot to death less than a month after obtaining protection orders. In at least a half-dozen other killings, the victim was not the person being protected but someone else. There were dozens of gun-related assaults like the one Ms. Holten endured.

      So eleven murders and “dozens” of gun-“related” assaults over the last decade means I should give up my right to self-defense? I take it these assholes haven’t seen the statistics on vehicular accidents by these same people, otherwise they would call for anyone ever accused of a domestic crime to have their driver’s license taken away as well.

      Hell, if they had their way, every man involved in a divorce would be castrated and locked in a cage with the right to have his balls reattached if he somehow proved he was innocent.

    6. Imagine the right to vote and the right to own weapons were both mentioned in the Constitution, should we assume that both carry equal protection from being revoked by whim of the government? Crazy! Next they’ll be telling us that domestic violence accused shouldn’t get lawyers.

    7. All this tells me is that these people should have armed themselves.

      Oh, and if someone wants to kill you – they’ll probably find a way to do it. But I guess that’s a discussion for another time.

    8. In at least a half-dozen other killings, the victim was not the person being protected but someone else.

      So…I completely don’t get what that is even supposed to support or not support.

      1. Marksmanship?

      2. I’ll mansplain it to you, Nicole. It means that a poor, helpless woman got a protective order against a horrible, mean man and that that man went out and took his anger out by killing some other person, probably a woman or child and perhaps a minority, because his gun created a bloodlust that otherwise wouldn’t have been sated. Six times.

        1. At least six times!

          1. Oh, I always get a fucking kick out of that shit. We’re supposed to take your data seriously when making public policy when the words “at least” are part of it?

            It’s like “Global warming will raise the earth’s surface temperature by at least 3 degrees Celsius in the two decades.”

            It’s all bullshit unless you can a) prove it and b) back it up with the hard data.

            1. Yeah, sloop, but the average voter makes decisions based on feelings rather than hard data. The real trick to proggietopia is breeding-out or incarcerating all the independent thinkers. Then everything goes so much more smoothly.

              1. It’s certainly easier that way.

    9. “5 instances over the last decade”

      And how many protective orders? Seems like a very small number.

    10. If it saves just one life…

  23. Fuck you Krugman.

    Like others, Greg Sargent has been pleading with “centrist” pundits to acknowledge an obvious truth: Barack Obama has actually proposed the mix of spending cuts and revenue increases they want, while Republicans are unwilling to make so much as a dime of compromise. Greg looks at yesterday’s talk shows and finds this confirmed openly by GOP leaders: there is no ratio of spending cuts to revenues that will reconcile them to any tax hike whatsoever.

    Greg presumably hopes that this admission will finally cure pundits of the habit of blaming both sides for the failure to reach a Grand Bargain ? or, in practice, devoting most of their criticism to Obama.

    Pay no attention to the last three tax raises.

    Krugnuts, it’s time for some of those promised cuts. No more Lucy with the football bullshit.

    1. Ugh, fucking politics. Republicans won’t compromise by giving in to some of the things we won’t compromise on!

  24. The lady doth protest too much, methinks: Progressives on Twitter get #ObamaisNOTSatan trending, thread largely hijacked by conservative jokers.

    1. A wall of #[citationrequired] tags to #ObamaisNOTSatan would set the progtards hair on fire.

      Too bad I think twitter is a fad and a waste of time or else I’d do it.

      1. I think Twitter has a lot more value and use than Facebook.

        I use it as a source of news and rarely tweet myself.

        1. So is it safe to say you’re a twit?

          1. I thought someone was only a twit if they were tweeting at that moment. The past tense is twat.

            1. Good point, Ken. Serious is definitely a twat.

          2. Well you know what? Two people of repute follow me: Matt Welch and Edward James Olmos (who I think literally follows everyone that tweets at him because that’s how he interprets the way social media should work).

            1. “How do I reach these twits?!?”

              1. **Arsenio Hall-style fist pump**

              2. I always wanted Commander Adama to ask President Roslin that question.

              3. Cheat! I mean, tweet!

        2. I use it as a source of news and rarely tweet myself.

          Really? I have a hard time thinking I am gonna get the gist of a story in 140 characters. And since news is mostly reported as opinion nowadays, I need a lot more than that to wade through the bullshit. But you’re Serious, so I’ll take your word for it. πŸ˜›

          1. I think it works well as an alternative to RSS readers.

            1. I was only kidding. I’m actually too lazy to get up to speed on all of that happy horseshit like Twitter, Instagram and the like. Hell, I only go on FB about once every couple of weeks to see whose birthday I missed and to see if any of my old friends got arrested or knocked up.

              I just don’t have time for the “social” part of social media.

          2. I use it as a source of news in the sense that once something big happens (such as a celebrity dying or a new pope being picked) everyone starts tweeting about it so you become aware of it.

            1. I thought that’s what you used Pinterest for.

              1. Pinterest

                Oh, now you’re just making words up. And gay words at that. (NTTAWWT)

              2. Oh shut up. I told you what you use Pinterest for.

                1. Is there a difference between Pinterest and tumblr? I have never used either.

                  1. On Tumblr, you can post any kind of content from around the web (or uploaded): images, text, dialogues (e.g., chat conversations), sound, video, etc. It’s pretty much a blog that includes a lot of standard templates in addition to the “freeform text and whatever” one at a full-fledged blog. And it’s as much of a social network as WordPress.com is — you can follow people within the site, “heart” their posts, some enable comments, etc.

                    On Pinterest, you can only post pictures. Absolutely nothing but pictures (which you can tag).

                  2. There’s some really good pinups on the tumblr.

                2. I don’t get it, nicole. Really, I don’t get Pinterest. IT MAKES NO SENSE

                  1. Does this help, Epi?*

                    *This is my first time ever on Pinterest and I think I’ve figured it out. It’s like wallpaper for retards.

                    1. Fuck, sloopy, now he’s going to like it!

                    2. Well, Ken, you’ve proven that even something as stupid as Pinterest can have redeeming features.

                      (keeps browsing Ken’s link)

            2. So it’s basically like the Drudge Alarm on my iPhone except for a lot more useless stuff like “#obamarules” or “#bidenisageniuswitha12″cock”


              1. Search for thinspo at Pinterest. You’re welcome.

                1. Actually, Pinterest and Tumblr both ban thinspo out of paternalism. Some pops up but it comes down.

                2. Does sarcasmic know about this?

              2. You’ve got an IpHone? What kind of a monster are you?

      2. Its good as a news feed. That about all I use it for.

  25. If all goes as planned this week, we may be doing a baby name contest redux this fall.

    That is all.

    1. Just have sex every day for a month. That should cover the entire menstrual cycle.

  26. Holy geeze. Watermelons really, really hate Bjorn Lomborg

    BTW, for those of you who are not into the whole geeky/nerdy thing of minutely analyzing technical details to ensure that what someone is saying actually has a factual, rational and scientific basis, be advised that Lomborg is accurately called a liar, but his particular position makes his lies especially pernicious. There are oodles and oodles of similar “technicians”, shall we say, whose bought and paid for lies (and various degrees of subtlety in such) constitute a veritable army of destroyers that are in day to day battle with actual working scientists. Can you say angry, frustrated scientist?

    I chalk this up to another media attempt to give equal time to opposing viewpoints on a subject which no longer warrants it. Its like having Strom Thurman write a peice about the civil rights act, there is definately at least one person with that view, but the subject has moved on.

    1. And this one is hilarious:

      Rick Desper
      Wow, this is really a stupid article.

      Candle wax is a fossil fuel?

      Science is hard!

      CO2 emissions go up because turning on the generator burns more energy than they would possibly use if they were left off for an hour.

      “We still have no idea what to do when the wind isn’t blowing.”

      What is this, anti-environmentalism for 7th graders?

      Could Slate find somebody who has any kind of relevant education? This is written at a phenomenally poor level.

      1. I’d suggest they were burning beef fat candles, but it’s probably a moronic Vegan posting that. On the other hand, if they don’t know what candles are normally made of, they probably don’t know what tallow is either.

      2. Holy I don’t even what

      3. Maybe that poster would suggest setting up a giant fan in front of the wind turbines. They could even plug it into the turbine for power.

  27. Not eating carbs may KILL YOU

    1. FTA: CUTTING carbohydrates to lose weight could increase your chance of dying by 30 per cent.

      Wait, so if I cut carbs to lose weight, I could increase my chances of dying to 130%?

      1. you’re already dead!

    2. Curse of the Werewolf

      This is totally on topic, and entertaining.

    3. Oh, fuck off.

    4. Those on a low-carbohydrate diet would get less than 40 per cent of their diet from carbs.

      Fucking fuck the fucking fuck off. That’s an astoundingly high-carb fat fuck diet.

      1. Isn’t that the Zone Diet? 40 carbs 30 fat 30 protein?

        1. The Zone diet is for fat fucks and cultfit idiots. So, yes, probably.

        2. The Zone diet is for fat fucks and cultfit idiots. So, yes, probably.

      2. Look, Warty, they need to push the bullshit health meme that’s been pushed for the last 40 years and they want to help prop up the US grain market. It’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it. They’re invested, god damn it!

      3. I was wondering about that myself…the difference between life and death is 5% dietary content in carbs…right.

        1. Observational studies are always horseshit. And diet studies are almost always horseshit observational studies. So, yeah, keep eating your WHOLE GRAIN Lucky Charms, or else YOU’LL FUCKING DIE. And squats will hurt your knees, too, so make sure you get half an hour on your elliptical machine each day.

          1. I can never tell when you’re serious about the knees thing. How far down am I supposed to be going?

            (NOT LIKE THAT)

            1. Parallel or lower. Ever see the chumps who go to about 45 degrees only? DON’T BE THAT CHUMP.

              1. Okay good.

            2. Parallel is minimum acceptable depth, and it is defined as the crease of your hip being level with the top of your knee. Deeper is better.

              (The reason you want to go deep is so you can work your hip extensor muscles. The deeper you go, the more acute the hip angle, and the more work your ass and hamstrings have to do. This is important for knee health as well as DAT ASS.)

      4. 200g a day is low-carbohydrate? LMAO

  28. That dude jsut aint making no sense man. Wow.


  29. The new trailer is here! The new trailer is here!

    1. That says “Season 3”, which must be a typo. Is this some new show that’s just coming out or something?

  30. Breaking news coming in via Zero Hedge Twitter feed! No, it’s not about Cyprus, but yoga pants. That’s right, I know what you fucks really care about.

    Regulars at yoga classes often praise the liberating nature of the ancient Indian exercise but sometimes things can get a little bit too liberating: enter yoga clothing maker Lululemon LULU -3.77%, which has withdrawn shipments of its women’s yoga pants that fall short on the “coverage” front.

    Apparently due to a problem at the factory, there is “a level of sheerness in some of our women’s black Luon bottoms that falls short of our very high standards,” the company said today.

    Excessively see-through yoga pants! We have a situation on our hands here. Lululemon says the problem affects about 17% of all the ladies pants in its stores, and that’s a problem for a yoga pants company in a land where nude yoga has yet to take off: Lululemon stock fell 3.8% today and is down another 5.2% in after-hours trading.

    1. What the fuck, nicole? No link to the important shit???

      1. Another site promoting the thigh gap. I have yet to see a girl with thigh gap who doesn’t look like she needs to do more squats.

        I’m willing to be wrong, though.

    2. The picture to that article is highly disappointing. Once again, you are the worst, nicole.

        1. See nicole, when even Warty isn’t worser than you, it’s time to accept being the worst.

        2. I’m confused, is she in some kind of poorly executed faun costume?

          1. I had to go back to see what you were talking about, and I noticed that she had some sort of stupid things on her legs. The things you bachelors notice.

            1. You’re all the fucking worst. I sat here, all not commenting on the fact that she is wearing non-clothes out of doors and the most hideous shoes I have ever seen, because as a woman I’m not supposed to say shit like that, but jesse can just prance over here and point out the obvious and you act like you didn’t notice?!?

              1. Bros before ho’s, nicole.

                1. You misplaced that apostrophe on purpose and we both know it.

                  1. I would never do anything like that, nicole.

                    Frylock: What’s your point?

                    Shake: I never had one. And that just drives you crazy, doesn’t it?

              2. She was wearing shoes???

              3. Prance? The gayest thing I did there was to not comment on what a fine ass the lady has.

                1. Totally. For a minute, I was worried she would turn you straight.

                  1. I was considering it for a second, but then I imagined my parents praising Jesus and returned my thoughts to libertine indulgence in sodomy instead.

                    1. returned my thoughts to libertine indulgence in sodomy instead

                      What do you think all us straight guys were thinking about when we saw her?

                    2. I’m sorry ASBoR, I keep forgetting that straights keep re-appropriating all the fun things about being gay, like gentrification and sodomy.

                    3. We have to do what we can to keep from losing our girlfriends to you guys. Nothing gets the girls like well-tailored clothes, craft cocktails, and homemade risotto Milanese. Am I right, Jesse?

                    4. well-tailored clothes, craft cocktails, and homemade risotto Milanese


                      There was a time when those skills were required of any gentleman.

                    5. It’s true that you guys have been forced to upscale, but it’s funny because we’re in no way competing for the same resources. Should I be concerned that when my female friends bring their BFs over for dinner and drinks they’re really just passively threatening their BFs to do better?

                    6. It’s true that you guys have been forced to upscale,

                      Aw, hell no! Queer guys have come for my eye…


                    7. It is funny, but also completely true, at least for some guys.

                      On the other hand, maybe to some extent it’s that the disappearing stigma of being gay has made straight guys less prone to instinctively shy away from doing things once considered too effeminate. So now we have something approaching normalcy.

                      Contrast with the 90’s, when everyone knew that gays were out there, lurking, but we straights had no idea who they were or what they looked like, so we had to have constant tests to smoke out the homos. Don’t watch all the sports? FAGGOT. Know how to microwave your own Easy Mac? FAGGOT. Wear shoes other than white cross-trainers? SUPER-FAGGOT. They could be ANYWHERE, so you just couldn’t be too careful.

                      Probably wasn’t exactly a cakewalk for y’all either.

                    8. I’m just glad the metrosexual moment came and went. I’m totally fine with gays and straights coalescing around a neo-1950s manly aesthetic, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to listen to straight men talk about their feelings and depilatory habits.

                2. Whose side are you on, jesse? Do you want those boots out in the world?!?

                  1. Those are boots? I thought they were leg warmers.

                  2. I dunno, nicole, anything that makes women look more goat-like probably works in my long-term favor.

            2. legs?

              1. legs?

                The two long shapely things attached to DAT ASS.

      1. Fuck you both. Lululemon is even libertarian-ish or whatever.

        1. and Canadian.

          1. I wasn’t going to mention that part. I’m trying to get them to like it.

            1. they don’t like anything

      2. That’s what I was going to point out, but fortunately I saw Warty’s link first.

        1. And I think that the current top picture features some of the pants in question.

  31. Latest Gallup research shows the nation that Americans have the most favourable view toward is…Canada.

    1. Canada, America’s fun house mirror.

    2. It’s because Canadians walk among us unnoticed, next thing you know everyone knows a Canadian and feels comfortable letting them marry they seem less foreign than other foreigners.

    3. Canuckistan? Why?

      Great Britain is 2nd on that list? Was this a retard only poll?

      I guess Germany as 3rd is at least a bit reasonable, since they do have great beer, and beer halls, with serving wenches. That’s worthy of a top 20 spot for sure.

    4. Every Iranian I’ve ever met has been extremely cool, and the chicks are incredibly sexy. We Americans are incredibly dumb to listen to our propaganda.

      1. I worked for a while, couple of years ago, with an Iranian guy. Nice guy, very libertarian views.

        And you are right, lots of the women are hot.

        But we must have boogeymen, many boogeymen, and their number got drawn, so bombs away now, can’t waste these new toys. And if we don’t they’ll have a nuke, any day now…

      2. Ditto. I meet a lot of them across the world for work. Usually (hot) women, and they always speak flawless english.

  32. Also, Clutch. Everybody go give them money.

    1. You can taste the impotence in his every word. ‘I’ve never been able to do anything with my opposable thumbs beyond using them to eat Doritos out of a bag and play on my X-Box, I’ve got my bitter progtard opinions to prove my superiority.’

    2. “the gunniest part of a gun possible.”

      At least he did the technical background research for the article.

      1. Who needs knowledge when you have your feelings!

  33. Knew I saw this Cyprus idea before somewhere:

    Episiarch| 2.5.13 @ 4:59PM |#|?|filternamelinkcustom

    Why don’t they just fucking take money directly out of people’s bank accounts? Because they’re basically there.

    1. Fuck. Epi, what do you have to say for yourself?

      1. He is the worst…

        1. He’s the best at being the worst, whereas you are the worst at being the best. Hence the title.

        2. Look, I don’t have to take this abuse from the actual worsts!

          Also, I can obviously see the future, and let me tell you nicole, Two and a Half Men has many years still left in it. Sometimes this gift is more of a curse.

          1. just because it’s on TV doesn’t mean you have to watch it.

            1. That is a damn lie! Don’t forward through the commercials either. That is how capitalism dies. You are practically stealing money out of the mouths of Ashton Kircher’s children when you do that.

              1. Reminds me, in three minutes, I’ll be watching How I Met Your Mother pussywhippedly ironically, with the dear missy.

            2. It’s very existence pains me, much like Downton Abbey.

  34. If you guys keep talking about American TV I might never move back there. It’s like some of us are up in the cockpit trying to keep this plane in the air while you guys are in the back sawing the tail off.

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