A.M. Links: White House Denies Mixed Messages, CIA Steps Up Operations in Iraq, Papal Conclave Starts Today


  • slide to the left
    White House

    The White House sees no problem with the president speaking to his post-campaign campaign apparatus this same week he's reaching out to Republicans for compromise, and has had to deny sending mixed messages.

  • The CIA is conducting operations in Iraq purportedly to target Al-Qaeda affiliates backing rebels in Syria. 12 people were killed and more than 100 wounded in attacks across Iraq yesterday.
  • The ethnic cleansing may be beginning in Mali.
  • At least 50 people died drinking bootlegged liquor in Tripoli, Libya, where the sale and consumption of alcohol is illegal.
  • In Yemen, you could die by drone strike or by firing squad, even as a minor.
  • Residents of the Falkland Islands voted 1514-3 to keep the islands a British overseas territory.
  • The papal conclave begins today.

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  1. I’m just a Juggalo, and everywhere I go, FBI agents tail me…

    1. I am afraid I must applaud this misuse of government power….just because.

      1. If you think Clara`s story is unimaginable…, last week my sisters father in law recieved a check for $8848 just sitting there twenty hours a week from there house and there friend’s aunt`s neighbour was doing this for nine months and errned over $8848 in there spare time On there computer. use the information at this address…

  2. In Yemen, you could die by drone strike or by firing squad, even as a minor.

    But no drone firing squad?

    1. A barrage of missiles for a surly teenager is, even by my standards, a bit much.

      1. How about just a volley of missiles then?

        1. One Hellfire to a customer.

          Seriously, if you can’t take out one teen with an 8 kilo warhead, you need to find another line of work.

    2. But no drone firing squad?

      Give them time.

  3. I predict black smoke.

      1. Pope Obama

      2. No, Pope Nuclear Titties!

        1. Master – OFF

    1. Always with the racist smoke.

      1. I thought it was racially empowered smoke.

        One thing I wondered is how they make the smoke black. DO they throw some diesel or old tires or something on the fire?

        1. Traditionally, it was wet straw added to the ballots to produce black smoke. They use chemicals now.

    2. Re Pope:

      Who gives a FF (flying fuck)?

  4. Retarded dolls for retards.

    1. Hannah, who was born with Down Syndrome, was nine years old when she noticed that none of the dolls in a toy catalog looked like her

      Mercifully, she has *yet* to notice that none of the dolls in a toy catalog look like Cthulhu.

      1. Depends on the catalog.

      2. I doubt any of the dolls look like me, either. None of the “male” dolls have penises.

        1. Depends on the catalog.

    2. Should not the mother and entrepreneur in the DailyMail story be applauded?

    3. why does the doll look like Janeane Garofalo?

      1. What I want to know is what kind of a mother forces the patriarchy’s gender biases on her retarded kid?

        1. That’s not funny!

  5. Police respond to call about a suicidal man, and shoot him.

    1. Procedures were followed. Unfortunately, officers only get paid leave when the victim wants to live.

      1. They’re on administrative leave.

        1. I stand corrected.

    2. Suicide is a crime and the cops aren’t going to let anyone break the law.

      1. Actually, attempted suicide, and accessory to suicide, are crimes, not suicide itself.

        Seems to me like these cops should be charged as accessories.

      2. Is suicide by cop still a crime? I thought cops were okay with it.

    3. The cops could certainly have dealt with it better, but it sounds like the guy got what he wanted.

      1. Why aim at the torso? Wait, I thought about it.. I’m sure they were aiming at his leg which is why they hit the torso.

  6. Woman gets ticket for going 63 in a 65.

    1. Meteorologist Doug Kammerer said winds were gusting at around 40 mph that day.

      By not giving the wind a ticket, it’s like the taxpayers of Maryland are subsidizing wind power.

    2. Fucking finally.

    3. I hate people like her… getting into the left lane and driving slow. GET THE F OUT OF THE WAY!!!

      1. Yeah, I agree. I wish more of these douchebags would get ticketed. The cops were right in this story.

      2. in this instance, I actually would have been OK with the police shooting her.

    4. Well, to be fair, it is Maryland, home of the Pastry Gun.

    5. It sounds like she was actually ticketed for failing to yield the lane.

      1. Agreed. Even if you are going over the speed limit you are supposed to only use the left lane for passing.

        1. Agreed. Even if you are going over the speed limit you are supposed to only use the left lane for passing.

          That depends on the state. Here in Texas that is not the case.

      2. If that’s the case, then good. I hate that shit.

    6. PG County cops + Maryland drivers = recipe for hilarity!

      1. (or is Laurel in Howard Co.?)

        1. IIRC Laurel actually occupies portions of PG, Howard, and Anne Arundel Counties. Might be why they have their own police dept instead of it being at the county level.

    7. Good. Fuck that lady. This is the most refreshing thing I’ve read all day.

    8. If I was a cop this is a ticket I would write with as often as possible. If you’re not passing then get the fuck over.

      1. I spend most of my time driving in the right lane at 80mph, because every other fucking idiot on the road is in the left lane.

        1. God, I wish I could deal with that. My commute is 20 – 30 mins depending on traffic and stoplight luck; I spend it alternating between the left and right lanes depending on the stoplight (after six months I have the patterns all mapped out), only using the middle for a second of transition because it never goes anywhere.

          Getting to the stretch where I can pass everyone on the right and cursing all the way is how I know I’m home; getting to a place where I can do so for an extended period would be like retirement.

        2. The most amazing thing (to me) is that AFAICT people actually yield the right lane more often than the left one.

    9. Be serious. There’s no way they’re ticketing that in Maryland. Believe me, I drive there.

  7. Residents of the Falkland Islands voted 1514-3 to keep the islands a British overseas territory.

    Argentina blames the butterfly ballot.

      1. They’re the guys who will have “Malvinas 2013” bumper stickers on the cars for the next 7 years.

        1. “Blimey, the car ‘as been keyed again!”

          1. They scratched the boot and the bonnet! That’s rubbish!

      2. LTC(ret) John| 3.12.13 @ 9:02AM |#

        Who were the three?


      3. One is a An-cap who refuses to ratify the so-called UK government.

        The second is an Argie without papers and working illegally at a sheep ranch.

        And the third is just an asshole.

    1. The country would have gone back to Argentinian rule if not for those shithead libertarians that decided to stay home and not vote. No vote = a vote for those Limeys.

      1. “a vote for those Limeys”

        Those Limeys who populate the Falklands.

  8. deny sending mixed messages

    “I am willing to extend a hand of bipartisan cooperation to those baby eating, elderly abusing spawn of Satan.”

  9. Olivia Wilde.
    That woman makes my tongue hard.

    1. She;s really into dopey looking dudes.

      1. There might be hope for you, then! I dunno if she’s willing to deal with your other failings, though.

    2. I always thought she looked like the hot-but-still-not-as-hot sister of Natalie Portman.

    3. Too bony. Eat more, babe.

      1. She’s just fine.

  10. Residents of the Falkland Islands voted 1514-3 to keep the islands a British overseas territory.

    Ron Paul should vacation there with his free time. Voting ‘no’ there would be quite the rush in the face of that kind of majority.

  11. American vet fights against Assad in Syria.

      1. “Its just up there to keep an eye on things.”


    1. The dirty little secret of war is that it can be fun and some people like it.

      1. Cue up Robert E. Lee.

      2. No thanks, I’ll stick to my violent video games. Even paintball on occasion All of the fun with none of the death of real war.

    2. Apparently he had a head wound (car accident- he’d never been in combat with the US military) and his personality changed afterwards.

      1. I was in a car crash or was it a war and I’ve never been quite the same…

  12. Tony Danza is old.

    1. The one damn time you post a man’s picture, and it’s Tony Freaking Danza? At least young Goldwater puts some effort into his!

  13. Female teacher tries to seduce male student using Facebook.
    John would.

    1. Why don’t you just post a link to the Daily Mail front page and save us all a lot of reading?

  14. I haven’t caught any of the pope debates.

    1. Meh, they are on C-Span IX – but the subtitles are way too slow (the debate is in clerical Latin).

  15. Residents of the Falkland Islands voted 1514-3 to keep the islands a British overseas territory.

    I bet the 1500 are so happy to have paid taxes to finance that referendum.

    1. They probably were. The Falklanders want to stick it to Argentina in as public a manner as possible.

    1. They’re always ready to cave. It’s what they do.

    2. I don’t see what they think they’d be getting for going along with this. Its not like gun control has a sister issue like the tax and spend debate. Its one thing to cave on taxes to clear the deck for spending reform, but I just don’t see the GOP caving on gun reform at all.

      1. Its one thing to cave on taxes to clear the deck for spending reform

        They’re not going to get the spending reform, of course. Their being used to caving and not getting anything in return on budget issues should make it no surprise that they’ll cave on all sorts of other issues too.

        1. They won’t, but that was at least a way for them to explain themselves. I just don’t see what they can say they get from doing any kind of gun control.

      2. They probably get another 10 year extension on the drug war and an administration that will TALK about cutting “defense” but will not actually do anything about it. To them, it’s a fair trade.

    3. Future headline:

      GOP incumbents lose primary battles

    4. My Congressholes are on notice that if any gun control passes, regardless of how they vote, I will support their primary opponent.

      1. So, if your congressional reps are against gun control, and their primary opponent is for gun control, you will vote for the primary opponent who is for control because you are against gun control?

    5. This is even pushing me, an inveterate cheap skate, to look into purchasing a gun. Unfortunately I’m in NYC, so I don’t think I’ll ever be motivated enough to pay all the fees and jump through all the hoops, but damn. I’ve never been too interested in guns, but I’d rather buy one before it gets too burdensome to do so.

      1. How does a cheapskate live in NYC? I live in NJ and won’t even pay the toll on the GW Bridge.

        Move anywhere and buy a really nice gun with the savings in the first month.

    1. But the most influential new product may be the least flashy: a $100 million database built to chart the academic paths of public school students from kindergarten through high school.

      In operation just three months, the database already holds files on millions of children identified by name, address and sometimes social security number. Learning disabilities are documented, test scores recorded, attendance noted. In some cases, the database tracks student hobbies, career goals, attitudes toward school – even homework completion.

      Local education officials retain legal control over their students’ information. But federal law allows them to share files in their portion of the database with private companies selling educational products and services.

      Entrepreneurs can’t wait.

      1. looks like the age range for starting a permanent record via schools has backed up a bit since some t-v show a few years back was talking about it.

      2. Fucking Permanent Records.
        How do they work?

      3. The database is a joint project of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, which provided most of the funding, the Carnegie Corporation of New York and school officials from several states. Amplify Education, a division of Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp, built the infrastructure over the past 18 months. When it was ready, the Gates Foundation turned the database over to a newly created nonprofit, inBloom Inc, which will run it.


        At SXSWedu, inBloom will provide the first-ever public demonstration of how the inBloom technology and the inBloom partner network work together to make personalized learning a reality for every K?12 student.

        It’s not just a cybersecurity accident waiting to happen, it’s the latest educational fad that’s guaranteed to cost big bucks without producing results – with those big bucks being tax dollars getting funneled to the politically-connected ‘doing-it-for-the-chiiiiildrun’ types.

        1. Gosh, the Gates supported a network to create a huge database on kids that they can get access to? Why would a tech entrepeneur support that? Nobody can make money data-mining for commercial purposes, can they?

          Its a mystery.

      4. This sounds like a job for little Bobby Tables.

      5. Local education officials retain legal control over their students’ information. But federal law allows them to share files in their portion of the database with private companies selling educational products and services.

        It’s For the Children!

    2. “The hype in the tech press is that education is an engineering problem that can be fixed by technology,” said Frank Catalano of Intrinsic Strategy, a consulting firm focused on education and technology. “To my mind, that’s a very naive and destructive view.”

      Substitute ‘energy, health, economy, or climate’ for ‘education’ in this quote from the article and you’ve nicely summed up what’s wrong with alot of governmental policy imo.

    1. You know who else prepared a group of British for defeat at the hands of Germans?

      1. William Howe?

        1. No no no – John Burgoyne!

    2. Arsenhole already lost 3:1 at home to a vintage Bayern M?nchen side which is leading the Bundesliga by 20 points with nine games remaining; do you really expect them to get three away goals?

      I do have the sinking feeling Bayern are going to fuck it up against an Italian side later in the CL. 🙁

      1. Even so, the Arsenal fans get to chant “Two World Wars and One World Cup”, so its a draw at worst.

  16. Expanding beyond 3D printed guns, DEFCAD is officially the anti-MakerBot

    When MakerBot booted 3D gun files from its file catalog in December, it may have created its own worst enemy: DEFCAD.

    That’s pretty clear to me after watching the latest creepily effective video from Defense Distributed founder Cody Wilson, who doesn’t filter his distaste for MakerBot and its founder Bre Pettis.

    “When this guy decided that “radically open” meant not so radical, not so open, DEFCAD was born,” Wilson says over an image of Bre Pettis’s face.

    This, as Wilson explains in the video referenced above, underscores a fundamental ideological difference between DEFCAD and MakerBot:

    Can 3D printing be subversive? If it can, it will be because it allows us to make the important things ? not trinkets, not lawn gnomes, but the things that institutions and industries have an interest in keeping from us. Things like access, medical devices, drugs, goods, guns. DEFCAD will provide access with a view to these things, the important things, and there will be no takedowns ? ever.

    If it wasn’t clear before, it should be pretty clear now: DEFCAD is the anti-MakerBot, and Wilson is the anti-Pettis.

    1. What is an anti-makerbot and who is Pettis?

      1. Makerbot is the 3d printing…company?…website? that removed the AR mags from being downloadable because SANDY HOOK!!!!!

        Pettis is a SWPL techie who masturbates while reading Gizmodo.

      2. Makerbot is a low-cost 3D printer with a lot of open-source community support. Bre Pettis is one of the guys behind it, and was integral in the decision to take down gun parts from Thingiverse.

        1. I wish him luck with that. I am sure taking it down is going to be so effective in preventing its use.

          1. Pettis is kind of a knee-jerk liberal bedwetter, so this isn’t any surprise. But, yes, the files are out there, so it’s kind of pointless.

            I can get the cad drawings for an AR-15 any number of places. Making a model from the part drawings is a relatively trivial task.

    2. I thought calling stuff “def” went out in the 90s.

      1. That’s a rad comment, dude.

    3. “A revolution means a revolution”


  17. IRAN is planning to sue Hollywood over the movie Argo, which is says is an “unrealistic portrayal” of the country.

    Read more: http://www.news.com.au/enterta…..z2NKY1SxQP

    1. I hope their lawyers get the fee up front.

    2. It’s so cute what foreigners think they can sue people about. Especially when a whole country wants to sue a whole city.

    3. Because they’re actually less tolerant than the movie indicates?

    4. Now they’re acting like Americans! Next thing you’ll know, they’ll invade an unarmed country.

  18. Koch is just going to buy the Papal election via Citizens United and the tobacco companies.

    1. Just saying, but isn’t Silvio Berlusconi available?

    2. The Bavarian Illuminati and the Lizard People will let this happen?

      1. What do you mean let it happen? Didn’t you see him mention Koch? Or did you not know … I think I’ve said too much.

        1. I once told a lefty friend that I didn’t like NPR because they didn’t speak truth to power enough for my taste–ie, they don’t criticize Obama, the most powerful man in the world, enough. He responded by saying, no, the Koch brothers are the most powerful people in the world.

          1. “How many divisions do they have?”

      2. The Lizard People cant even win a senate race in Minnesota, they are losing their grip on power.

        1. To be fair, a lot of the older Lizard People in Sunny Minnesota were confused because Amy Klobuchar sure looks like one of them. How were they to know that she wasn’t the one they were supposed to vote for?

        2. But which Lizard people? The Reptilians or the Reptiloids?

  19. So the CIA is in Iraq fighting a war we supposedly all ready won against Al Qaeda which is supporting the rebels that the US supports in Syria. The Onion might as well just shut down, they won’t beat this.

    1. Jeb is planning on Iraq War III in 2017.

      1. Admit it: you’re just doing this because it’s funny.

        1. A lot of the time, I have to believe that’s true.

    2. No, no! The CIA is in Iraq killing Al Qaeda who are attacking the leader of Syria we want deposed… huh, I guess the Onion can still shut down.

      1. When you have a President who has a 100 IQ, spends his entire life golfing and campaigning even though he can’t be re-elected, and that no one in the executive branch listens to or bothers to call, can you really expect to have a coherent policy?

        Look Valarie Jerret can only do so much. Obama is not out there on the front lines dealing with Napalitano, Kerry, Dr. Death at the CIA and Hegal everyday. These people are animals. What is she supposed to do?

        1. How long before the CIA accidentally drone strikes US soldiers while they are training Syrian rebels in Jordan?

            1. Accidentally?

  20. http://www.captainsjournal.com…..n-control/

    Figures these clowns won’t sacrifice their careers for anything important like saving the country from bankruptcy but will over the most idiotic issue of our time, gun control. The only upshot of this is that stories like this put Democratic Senators from red states balls’ in a vice. Without these stories they could tell their moonbat supporters that gun control doesn’t matter since the evil Rethuglicans in the House will never pass it. With them, the moonbats will no doubt get restless.

    1. Figures these clowns won’t sacrifice their careers for anything important like saving the country from bankruptcy but will over the most idiotic issue of our time, gun control.

      Well said. The Stupid Party, indeed. It would be fascinating to hear what goes on in their closed-door discussions about what to do.

      1. It would be fascinating to hear what goes on in their closed-door discussions about what to do.

        “OK folks, we have terrific public backing, our opponents are nervous about having to even address the issue and even the press and President are starting to be quiet about it…so, do we surrender publicly or quietly cave?”

        1. They don’t care about the public. They just want to be liked by the right people. They really have liberal douche bag envy. It is the quite remarkable.

    2. The gun owners who recently waited in lines for three or more hours to pay exorbitant prices for guns were not repeat buyers (long time gun owners like me already had most of the firearms we wanted and so we are purchasing ammunition now). They were first time buyers.

      I’ve watched them at the ranges. I have overheard their conversations, I have watched them at the gun stores and gun shows. I have heard their relatively ignorant questions (not ignorant because they’re stupid, but because they’re in the process of learning). They are not us. We already have guns. These are new gun owners. The polls they are trotting out to show the number of gun owners decreasing are all lies.

      Yeah, I’d like to see that usual Gallup poll a couple months from now and see how it looks. I’ve seen a lot of new owners.

      1. That is why I would still be surprised if they cave. They are just behind the curve and have no idea how pissed off people are about this. They are quickly going to find out.

      2. Aren’t you relatively new to the tribe, Nicole?

        I’m not the guy to ask on this one. I can field a rifle squad out of my gun closet and have plenty of leftovers.

        True story: I don’t know how many revolvers I have, because I’ve never bothered to count them.

        1. I am but my man is not.

      3. I’ve never owned a gun, but that will be changing in the very near term. So count me as a stat!

      4. Here’s the thing about those “first-time” buyers:

        Every repeat buyer starts as a first-time buyer, and guns are famously addictive. This whole kerfuffle has expanded the base of gun owners, and that’s long-term good news for the industry.

        1. and guns are famously addictive

          Noooo! Now they’ll have a whole other reason to ban them!

        2. I need to find a good place to buy one in Maryland.

          I’m very dubious about registering it, presuming I go the legit route.

          1. I recommend Pennsylvania or Virginia.

    3. Im pretty sure caving on gun control will end up sacrificing their career.

      Primary challenges all around.

  21. In Yemen, you could die by drone strike or by firing squad, even as a minor.

    FTA, he shot an intruder. I think liberals would applaud the decision to punish this kid for daring to defend himself when the State is the only entity to legitimately provide defense and apply deadly force.

  22. There was nothing partisan, [Carney] said, about immigration reform or gun reform.

    What a waste of air that guy is. Bring back Gibbs.

    1. Are they really using the phrase “gun reform” now?

        1. Gun reform would be amending the NFA to allow SBRs, SBSs, and silencers without government regulation.

          Which would be awesome.

          1. That’s the compromise we need. They want universal background checks? Well, I want a suppressor for nighttime hunting.

            Let’s make a deal.

        2. They are such pathetic lying sacks of shit. Lets call it “reform” so no one will know what it really is.

        3. It sounds like an interesting idea for a discussion, but the innocent-sounding How commas are disappearing” is actually an anti-gun rant.

          1. Let me guess, without looking at it:

            “WELL REGULATED MILITIA NEGATES THE SECOND PART OF THE SENTENCE!!!! The 2nd Amendment does not protect an individual right, even though every other Amendment in the Bill of Rights is about individual rights. DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP!”

            1. The guy said if you removed the first and third commas, it would show that the Founders “obviously” meant that it was OK for militias to operate; not for every Tom, Dick, and Harry to have a gun. It went on from there, although I didn’t listen to the rest of it.

              (It’s a month old, but the non-news radio programs I download end up toward the back of my listening queue.)

              1. I suffered through it.

                My favorite part was about “bearing arms against a rabbit”.

                1. Was that before or after the “thing you put under your bed to hold your guns” part? Even though the piece is under three minutes, I started fast-forwarding through it and finally gave up on the last minute of it.

                  Since I downloaded the audio and still have it on my computer, I suppose I could punish myself and listen to it again….

              2. Every Tom, Dick and Harry (but not Nicole and Martha) are members of the militia.

            2. So, if you rewrite the 2A, it no longer protects an individual right?

              Color me unimpressed.

              1. Oops.

                I can’t recall the details of the specific cases I’ve been involved in, but yes, commas are legally relevant, and can change the meaning of a sentence. They aren’t just decorative, deleting them to get the meaning you want is a real revision of the language.

                1. The problem with applying the comma analysis to the constitution is that it was written at a time in which punctuation and spelling werent rigid, like would happen in the 19th century.

                  1. Yeah, people used to use a lot more commas. A lot of 17th and 18th century writers seemed to use commas for every brief pause that would be there if it were spoken.

            3. Then why are they so down on the militia movement?

    2. Gibbs always had a “fuck you, our guy won” attitude when describing the WH position. Jay Carney just acts like a smug prick who can’t possibly believe anyone would think differently. On and on with phrases like “reasonable position” and “I think everybody agrees” or “most experts agree.” He talks like an Ayn Rand bad guy except he’s not made of straw.

      1. Giibs was utterly loathsome. But he had a certain roguish charm about him because he was just so brazen. Carney is just a charmless prick. He hasn’t a single positive quality.

        1. Gibbs lied but didn’t give a shit and didn’t give a shit if you knew he was lying. Carney has the look of the kid who stole something and realizes that people saw him take it. He’s still pretending to be objective so he can return to the media once this gig is up.

  23. Porn stars, pre- and post-makeup.

    1. I’m not looking at that….again.

      1. I don’t think people are looking forward to porn in 4K/UHD. Then again, I said the same thing about it in 1080p.

        Which is why lowres webstreamed FLV is still a popular option.

    2. That is amazing.

      1. It is pretty impressive

    3. Anybody who’s terribly surprised by this has never lived with a woman.

    4. I saw this yesterday, and my first (and second and third) thought was: holy shit eye shadow (and maybe foundation) alone make a hell of a difference.

      1. Foundation makes the biggest difference, followed by eyeliner/eyebrow pencil, lipstick, eyeshadow, blush, I’d say.

        1. Foundation makes a huge positive difference. At a certain point with the other stuff you get to a point of diminishing returns, including going negative.

        2. Foundation ages me about 10 years. Even the stuff that is meant for old folks ages me. It enhances wrinkles – it does not conceal them. It does, however, conceal acne, etc. But I just stick with blush and eye makeup now that I am of a “certain age”.

          1. Yeah, you get to a point where it settles into fine lines/wrinkles. But for the women in the article it was a massive improvement.

            Have you tried BB? Might not have the same effect, although I’ve noticed the “anti-aging” version of the Dr Jart+ BB is the one that settles most into my smile lines; the water-based one least.

            1. I don’t wear makeup too often, so my normal routine is just a Vitamin C moisturizer and nothing else (that’s for day-to-day). Maybe some non-colored lip gloss (RACIST!)

              1. Really ladies, this was a fascinating conversation.

                Can we please get back to talking about guns, drugs, and killing Arabs?!?!

      2. faces and porn…waht’s the point really?

        1. Blowjobs?

          1. well, yes, that is true. but in that case, the face is more like a blank canvas than something already painted.

          2. I still maintain that face doesn’t matter much for blowjobs as it is generally pointed down at that point.

        2. Well, they probably all have fairly nice bodies (cuz most people do not look good enough naked to be filmed with the lights on).

          But I prefer to watch the prettier porn stars. The face matters. Like Maria Ozawa or Angel (80s).

    5. But I don’t the makeup made them anymore attractive. A couple of them were kind of cute to begin with. But they all look like weirdo barbies after the makeup.

      1. There’s a verb missing in that first sentence that could change the whole meaning of it.

        1. Or a comma. 😉

      2. Well, I think a lot of them looked like they could at least use some BB cream before the makeup, but obviously “the look” is a sort of Barbie-type one. It’s not like you couldn’t use just about as much makeup to make them look completely “natural.”

        1. A lot of them had bad skin but were otherwise fairly cute. And a couple of them might have been cute before they decided to blow up their lips.

    6. *shudders*

    7. At least they can go to the supermarket without being harrassed by teenage boys.

    8. Mostly impressive because some look pretty bad to begin with.

      But honestly, about half of them I prefer without makeup. The other half I wouldn’t touch with a 10 foot pole.

    9. Mmmmmm…Elle Alexander.

  24. New Paul Ryan budget plan to increase spending 3.4% per year for 10 years.


    1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuGtxt84wPQ

      Buahpig!!! Christfag!!1

      We will remember that when we are told what an evil uncaring nihilist Ryan is and how he wants to destroy the government.

      Or will that be the talking point on the next thread your fucking little demented retard.

    2. Fuck you, cut spending.

    3. If spending increases at a rate that exceeds economic growth, we’re moving in the wrong direction (still).

      Selling Ryan’s plan as a “balanced budget” plan is a fraud.

      1. Ryan’s looking to game us into supporting it; he’s pushing the same line of reasoning some of the writers around here (de Rugy?) have:

        Historically, Americans have paid a little less than one-fifth of their income in taxes to the federal government each year. But the government has spent more.

        Under our proposal, the government spends no more than it collects in revenue?or 19.1% of gross domestic product each year. As a result, we’ll spend $4.6 trillion less over the next decade.

        Our opponents will shout austerity, but let’s put this in perspective. On the current path, we’ll spend $46 trillion over the next 10 years. Under our proposal, we’ll spend $41 trillion. On the current path, spending will increase by 5% each year. Under our proposal, it will increase by 3.4%. Because the U.S. economy will grow faster than spending, the budget will balance by 2023, and debt held by the public will drop to just over half the size of the economy.

        Give him credit for at least acknowledging a historic truth: absent the explosion of a new industry, we just don’t pull in anywhere near the money that we’re spending in terms relative to GDP.

        1. Bleh, should be quotes from paragraphs 2 – 4. HTML fail.

    4. Yup. It’s the exact same budget we have now, minus Obamacare. Ryan is a Romney squish and always has been.

    5. New WH budget…wait, it’s going to be two months later than the legal deadline. Nevermind.

    6. Where did we see this again? Oh yeah:


  25. http://www.nationalreview.com/…..rgely-gone

    Obama’s post election political capital largely gone. Put a few bucks in his pocket and he goes and blows it all on a drunken gun control bender.

    1. Gun control = liberal crack

    2. But we’ve been told the Republicans (Christpig, Bushfag) are going to cave.

  26. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..tbush.html

    Vigil for slain teenage girl turns into a riot. Words fail.

    1. Best line: ‘The youth in this community have no outlets for their anger, no community.’

      1. I was kind of wondering WTF he meant by that?

      2. Burn the police station to the ground. After all, the tenager was shot by a plainclothes pig.

    2. Also, Kimani was a young *man*, you SEXIST RACIST!

  27. “just as Hazel answered I didn’t even know that someone able to earn $8792 in 4 weeks on the internet. did you see this web site


  28. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-Ring.html

    Emma Watson begins her slow descent towards Europorn.

    1. And I will be waiting impatiently for her to get there.

      1. I think if she’s going to descend into Europorn, a fast descent would be preferable to a slow one. Just sayin’

        1. I agree completely, hence impatiently. The quicker the better.

    2. Sadly she’s way too British to every be seductive.

      1. This is perhaps the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.

    3. So she’s going the Elizabeth Berkley route, eh?

      1. I knew there was something familiar there!

    4. At least she grew her hair back.

    1. sarcasmic beat you to it

      1. Be careful; people are going to start making fun of you for pointing such things out. 🙂

        1. Pastry scissors!

      2. You know, I did a word search here for scissors before I posted this and it came up blank. I fault sarcasmic for failing to do that.

  29. Feds Spend $1.5 Million to Study Why Lesbians Are Fat

    The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.”

    1. It is really important. Not like those other unimportant health issues like drug resistant bacteria and such. No, nothing says public health emergency like fat lesbian.

      1. Fat lesbian just says Saturday night in the Montrose. Only an emergency when she gets drunk and starts beating her girlfriend.

    2. Probably because lesbians want to cuddle and eat ice cream and gay men want to go out and find other fit, attractive, gay dudes to have sex with.

      Of course, this is an enormous (and possibly unfair) generalization and there are tons of exceptions, but I think that is the general thrust of the social factors.

      1. I think its simpler than that: Men, gay or straight, are more concerned with the attractiveness of their partner than women are.

        1. An afternoon in P-town will affirm this theory.

          Many of the younger gay men are well-chiseled examples of manhood and the lesbians look like refugees from Cat & Crafts shows.

          1. That certainly seems to be true of lesbians once they start to enter middle age. I must say, though, that the most intensely attractive woman I have ever known personally was a lesbian.

  30. Vatican department shares Rome palazzo with gay sauna:

    A historic palazzo in Rome that houses a key Vatican department is also the home of a well-known gay sauna.

    Its Prefect Emeritus, Cardinal Ivan Dias, is one of the priestly residents.

    The 76-year-old cardinal, who is Indian and a former archbishop of Mumbai, will take part in the conclave to elect a successor to Pope Benedict XVI, which will begin later on Tuesday.

  31. Ezra Klein says our budget deficits are too small. Imagine that…


    1. And anyone should give a shit what he thinks why? Because he has some kind of formal economic training? Because he has ever held an actual job?

    2. Stupid is as stupid does.

    3. Better watch out Krugabe, someone’s trying to steal your audience.

      1. Klein doesn’t have a Nobel Prize. He’s just a pretender. No one is even close to challenging Krugman’s iron grip on the Iron Throne of progtard economic punditry.

    4. The solution to this is to cut everybody’s taxes.

      1. I agree, Ted S. Whenever somebody posts on Facebook “rich guys pay a lower rate than their secretaries!” I always reply, “Great idea! Let’s lower the income tax rate down to the capital gains rate!”

  32. http://www.mcclatchydc.com/201…..-home.html

    What a surprise, sequester makes very little difference to most people.

    1. Sure, if you can ignore the piles of corpses on the side of the road.

      1. Ahh, that’s what that smell was this morning.

    1. Holy hell. She makes want to believe in intelligent design.

    2. Way too skinny for John.

      1. I like her. I almost posted that. But I now how sensitive you get about putting up fat girls on the site. So I thought better of it.

        1. Here’s something to help wash your eyes of the skinny model.


          1. Please sarcasmic. You already sufferend through Ambrosio, who actually has hips and somewhat okay tits making her a cow in your eyes. You shouldn’t torture yourself like this.

            1. Sure, dude. We all know you like the chubbies. And that’s OK. Chubbies need loving just as much as everyone else. Someone’s got to do it.

              1. They work harder.

    3. From what I can find, she and Kate Upton are both 5’10”. Kate has 18 pounds on Alessandra (130 vs. 112). Put a gun to my head and I’ll take Kate every time. And if you don’t put a gun to my head I take them both.

      Really, though, she’s hot but 5’10”, 112 is skinny. Jesus, 5’2″ girls are sexy as hell at 112 lbs and if they’ve got big boobs are still a little skinny at that weight.

  33. So while many states/municipalities are trying to trample on the 2A, my home state, is doing just the opposite.

    Earlier this session, the legislature passed a bill that would “prevent the seizure of firearms during a state of emergency”. Now this bill easily moved through the house(94-4) and is on to the state Senate.

    For those too lazy to click, it’s a bill that would remove all local city/county gun ordinances. For example, right now in Charleston, you can only purchase one handgun a month, handguns have a 3-day waiting period, and no open carry in city limits.

    Of course that didn’t stop some city reps from using children and drugs to oppose the bill:

    “I was elected to come here and protect the children that walk the streets of Charleston,” said Delegate Meshea Poore, D-Kanawha, whose district includes the East End, West Side and downtown Charleston.

    “When someone can get drugs in place for a cheap gun, think how that affects our children,” Poore said. She noted that the city’s ordinance was enacted in the 1990s to crack down on a drugs-for-guns trade that brought drug dealers from Detroit, Cleveland and Washington, D.C., to Charleston.

    1. Nice to know I have somewhere to go if PA fucks up its gun policies.

      1. No one goes to WVa on purpose.

      2. It’s not all roses on the pro-liberty front. We have had a majority of Dem law makers for decades, with numerous failed economic and education policies, with some healthy doses of cronyism. Income and gas taxes are too high (though the sales tax has been reduced over the past few years)

        But the people in the state, are very respectful of individual rights and property rights. A leave me alone, I’ll leave you alone is almost a standard among neighbors.

    2. Vermont still has every state beat. But with the influx of new-age hippies and hipsters, that may change (it’ll be tough, though, because gun ownership is enshrined in the state constitution, in unequivocal terms). The old VT farmer is a dying breed.

      1. Nice.

        According to the Brady Campaign, WV has VT beat though (4 to 6).

  34. Very interesting

    So ? how do you take most of the youth of a country, a country, moreover, rich enough that most kids have no major developmental disabilities, and make them functionally illiterate?

    You WORK at it.

    And this comes to the part I didn’t know, and the part that shocked me.

    My son happened to be loitering in my office (they do this a lot) when I read that headline and I said “I’m not exactly shocked, and I’d be surprised if it were much different across the country, because I sent you and your brother to the school reading, and then spent the next three years screaming at you to sound out words and stop guessing them. So they took kids who COULD read and would have made them illiterate, if I hadn’t stayed on top of it and made you re-learn.”

    At which point my son said “Oh, you have no idea. Let me tell you what happened in Title One.”

    It goes on to tell the story of her high IQ son that was force without her consent into the learning disabled class because his retarded first grade teacher didn’t want to deal with him. It makes for fascinating and appalling reading.


    1. Then there is this bit

      He told me last week, when I said I had to fight his and his brother’s tendency to “guess” words for three or four years until they got it through their heads that these are not ideograms and you don’t “guess” (I think every other sentence out of my mouth those years was “Sound it OUT”) that when he was in Title One, they FORCED him to guess. He said, “No, look, I’d read the word correctly at a glance, and then they’d shout at me I was supposed to GUESS. And I’d have to come up with words that sounded like it, before they TOLD ME the correct one. They trained you to NOT read.”

      1. Yeah they stopped teaching phonics a long time ago. I’ve made a very great deal of money teaching kids to read by totally ignoring everything they’re taught in school. Their parents are astounded by the results, but I’m not inventing new techniques: I’m going back to the tried and true. I learned how to read when I was 4, and I used phonics.

        Whether it’s just stupid incompetence or deliberate effort to dumb down the population is up to you. It isn’t an accident.

        1. The schools are intentionally using teaching/learning techniques that are different than what the child’s parents learned in an effort to get parents to pay less attention to how their children are being indoctrinated. That and to put a wedge between teachers and parents. As in the children share something with the teachers that they don’t share with their parents. It’s pretty insidious.

        2. I remember when the whole “hooked on phonics” thing came out. We pay a trillion dollars a year for our schools and parents are reduced to buying off the shelf products to teach their kids how to read.

        3. Here’s the thing:

          Phonics is a very effective way to teach a student who is a native English speaker and who has grown up in an environment that featured a lot of English text.

          It is somewhat less effective on non-native English speakers and students from text-free environments.

          In other words, whites will learn rapidly using phonics, and Hispanics will learn less rapidly. If you grow up in a text-free environment marked by dramatic mispronunciation and unique idiomatic expressions (cough, cough, not saying the race here) you will learn still less rapidly using this method.

          So phonics has been deliberately jettisoned as a method in favor of a method that shows improved results (very marginally improved, but improved) for people who will never learn anyway. The education of the majority has been sacrificed in order to achieve profoundly mediocre results for the ineducable.

          1. Phonics may work well to teach a kid to read, but it also makes for terrible spelling skills.

            1. Wow. I had a 740 on my SAT verbal. I think might resemble that remark.

            2. The most important factor in spelling skills is reading A LOT.

              If you can get a kid reading via phonics, the spelling will take care of itself eventually.

              1. Really? I read constantly. Read very serious books. But my spelling errors can be legion without at least a decent proof read most of the time.

                1. Right, but you’re mentally defective.

                  HA! Just kidding baby. There is a subset of people who just can’t spell. I admit that I don’t get them.

                  1. Some people have a blind spot. I know brilliant people who can’t do fractions or long division.

              2. I’m with John on that one. I learned to read phonetically, read voraciously as a kid, and still rely on Firefox’s spell checker.

              3. I ran across some old paperwork recently at my parents house, and wow, did my spelling suck in 3rd grade.

                But, yeah, spelling comes with reading. Not that Im a grate speler too this daigh.

                Okay, that hurt to type.

                1. I would suggest that it makes sense for people that are good at math to be better spellers than those who are better at verbal skills. Math, like spelling, is very structural and sloppiness leads to errors. People who are more used to talking just spell things the way they sound without much care to the structure. There are probably a thousand studies that would disprove this theory, but it seems to me like it makes sense.

                  1. I’m bad at math and an excellent speller.

                    1. I’m good at math and can’t spell for shit.

                    2. Pity. In the age of spellcheck, math is a lot more useful.

                    3. I’m bad at math and an excellent speller.

                      I’m good at math and can’t spell for shit.

                      Well, it was just a theory. I guess it should all just be chalked up to the mysteries of brain functioning.

                  2. Spelling is mostly difficult because in English spelling is not very phonetically consistent. Except for a few substitutions of letters that sound pretty much the same, I bet there are very few bad spellers in Spanish, for example. Letters just always make the same sound in Spanish.

            3. Phonics–not phonetics. There is a difference.

          2. That is a very interesting point fluffy. I hadn’t thought of it that way. But it makes sense. If there is one holy grail of modern education it is “equality”. I have no doubt that the ed schools and educational theorists would gladly completely fuck above average white students to get even a marginal improvement among the beloved brown students. They figure the rich white kids who matter will end up okay no matter what. And they hate the white middle class’ guts. So them doing poorly is just an added bonus to the improvement in minority scores.

            1. When you actually confront someone with an education degree about phonics, they counter with “NON ENGLISH SPEAKERZ!!!!” and “EBONICZ SPEAKERZ!!!!”

              Working backwards from that, I conclude that they’re justifying their methods based on marginal improvements among the worst performers.

              1. Of course, that is the argument for using different methods for different kids.

                Which would probably cause heads to explode if put into practice.

                1. Why that is such a difficult concept is beyond me.

                  There are actually some pretty good programs for that. My mom was an elementary teacher and she did a lot with a “Reading Recovery” program to help get kids who made it to second or third grade without really being able to read on the right track. They used a variety of methods to find out what would work for each kid.

              2. When you actually confront someone with an education degree about phonics, they counter with “NON ENGLISH SPEAKERZ!!!!” and “EBONICZ SPEAKERZ!!!!

                Is that actually true, though? Our local elementary has quite a few kids who come from ESL families. The parents are mostly first generation immigrants from Africa, and their English is very rough. Their kids still do extremely well with phonics.

          3. “The education of the majority has been sacrificed in order to achieve profoundly mediocre results for the ineducable.”

            Pretty much the whole story of public schools.

            What has always really amazed me is that a method is necessary at all to teach reading to most kids. I know some will have learning disabilities requiring special intervention, but shouldn’t most people be able to learn to read just through exposure? I mean, I have no idea how I learned to read. I just started reading. And I could read pretty well before i started any school, so I have no idea how they tried to teach me to read in school. I remember “sound it out” so probably phonics to some extent. But mostly, from first grade on, I just remember “go to the library, get a book, read it” as the basic method.

            1. I dont specifically remember being told to “sound it out”, but I do remember, very specifically, Hop on Pop, from which I remember grasping the concept that rhyming words were spelled with the same pattern and you could figure out new words from that pattern by using the letter’s sound plus rhyming.

              Im sure I wouldnt have explained it that way at age 3 or 4 or whatever, but that book, more than any other, has stuck with me.

              1. From wikipedia (bolding is mine):

                Hop on Pop is a 1963 children’s picture book by Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel). It was published as part of the Random House Beginner Books series, and is subtitled “The Simplest Seuss for Youngest Use”. It contains several short poems about a variety of characters, and is designed to introduce basic phonics concepts to children.

                1. Hey, I think I just came up with a new beer name: Hops for Pops.

              2. Hop on Pop. Damn, robc, that’s probably how I learned to read, too.

                1. I dislike the homoincestial implications.

            2. I mean, I have no idea how I learned to read. I just started reading.

              This. I’m always fascinated when people talk about what they were doing in kindergarten. I just remember monkey bars and naps.

            3. I’ve seen studies that show that kids who have books in the house do better with reading. Hard to say if it’s the books or the parents that are driving that, of course. I have noticed that if you keep books around all the time, eventually the kids will get interested in them and start reading them, even if they aren’t normally big on reading.

              1. But studies show that if you have a book in the house, it is more likely to be used against you than defensively.

              2. I have noticed that if you keep books around all the time, eventually the kids will get interested in them and start reading them, even if they aren’t normally big on reading.

                Both my daughter and I have sizable book collections and love reading. My son and wife are pretty thoroughly disinterested. I started reading heavily right around my son’s current age so he start to pick it up sometime soon.

                1. I’ve seen studies that show that kids who have books in the house do better with reading.

                  One of my fondest memories of watching my kids grow up was seeing my son at age 11 alter his morning routine. He was getting ready for school, and he prepped his cereal bowl, put it on the kitchen table, wandered over to the open copy of the Wall Street Journal, took it back to his spot, flipped it open to an article on the Egyptian revolt, which he proceeded to read quickly while occasionally remembering to slurp up some cereal.

                  When he was done with the paper, he grunted and pushed it aside. I asked him what he thought, and he said “I think the U.S. should invade Egypt and straighten them out!”

                  I was about dying laughing as I pointed out that if he didn’t get a move on he’d be late for school. Being late for things because we were reading is a trait seemingly encoded in our genes.

                  1. That’s hilarious. He’ll be wanting brandy and cigars soon.

          4. “Phonics is a very effective way to teach a student who is a native English speaker and who has grown up in an environment that featured a lot of English text.

            It is somewhat less effective on non-native English speakers and students from text-free environments.”

            And the ratio of the latter to the former is?

        4. Well not all schools, our school system teaches early reading with phonics. (It’s a top rated school system.) I bet the better schools never switched, or switched back to phonics when they saw the other methods didn’t work very well.

          One positive development I’ve seen with my youngest is that they start writing immediately, and they let the kids write the words out phonetically instead of worrying about spelling. The spelling comes as they progress. Seems to work quite well.

          1. See my comment above about 3rd grade. That appears to be the same approach that was used by my teachers back in the 70s.

            I know spelling was stressed too, that was why we had spelling tests, but it looks like with general writing, they let us write and especially for words we hadnt “learned to spell” yet, phonetics was good enough.

            1. I guess it’s how early they are starting that surprised me, right from kindergarten. They write more at a younger age than I remember, and the teachers emphasize rhetoric over mechanics.

    2. Dave, yesterday, made a comment that the public school system for all its flaws might teach a kid to read who would otherwise not know how. Since I don’t know every teacher in every corner of the US ? but I know from other contexts that at least some of them will be decent and competent and tell the system to stuff it ? nor every kid, nor every school, this is POSSIBLE. What I guarantee and would put my hands in the fire for is that the percentage of those is dwarfed by the MASS of what would otherwise be competent “middle brow” C students, who could read and express themselves passably in writing, if they were left alone/had online teachers with just a class supervisor/were taught by anyone (retirees? Mothers?) BUT people who had been convinced they were education experts and that teaching children to read ? something that village teachers managed for centuries.

      The older I get the more I am convinced public schools are destroying civilization.

      1. I’d prefer no government run schools at all, but I think that the ever growing scope of public education is the greatest part of the problem. If public education went back to just focusing on the basic 3 R’s and maybe a little history it wouldn’t be so bad. But now everyone has to get college prep for some reason so we end up with smart kids not having the opportunity to excel because everything has to be taught to the level of the least performing kids.

    3. Putting a kid in public school really is cruel and unusual punishment.

    4. I support the sentiments of that blogger, but I do have to say that she has no business trying to tell anyone how to write or otherwise exclaiming over public school grammar issues.

      If you need to use parenthetical expressions inside of parenthetical expressions because every sentence includes an aside inside a double flashback, rewrite your motherfucking thought, bitch.

    5. Then my blog got invaded by “children” in the eleventh grade of a gifted and internationally respected program in the high school my son was attending. They seemed to have erratic spelling, the vaguest of acquaintances with grammatical rules and a thorough lack of ability to think. … (And the scary part is half of them were accepted into Ivy League schools a year later, which put paid to any idea I had this was a meritocracy.)

      This lady is full of shit.

      1. How do you know? I find her story sadly believable.

        1. I’ll second the “full of shit” call. This sounds like crap.

        2. 50% Ivy League admission is about twice the rate of Stuyvesant, which is a lot more “gifted and internationally respected” than whatever janky shit is at her son’s school.

          1. She is in Colorado. There is geographic preferences for admission. Getting into an Ivy League from New York, where tons of kids and legacies apply is much harder than getting into one if you are from a place like Colorado. If Stuyvesant were in Denver rather than Brooklyn or wherever it is, it would have a 100% admission rate.

            1. NAMs take a lot of the geographical diversity slots. Two birds, one stone.

              I doubt there’s any school or program in Colorado where half of the students even apply to Ivy League schools.

              “A thorough lack of ability to think” is how crazy assholes describe people who disagree.

              1. I’ll join the Sidd Finch pile on here. She sounds like one of those Drama Queen Hyperventilating Harpies who has an incessant need to tell stories in the most exaggerated and breathless ways possible.

              2. “A thorough lack of ability to think” is how crazy assholes describe people who disagree.

                As well as people with whom they can’t keep up.

              3. Maybe she was counting Stanford and Duke as ivies.

                And possibly Arizona St.

          2. If I’m interpreting the authors bad writing correctly, the kids were from a gifted students program and half of them got into “Ivy League schools”, not half of the entire school. Still seems fairly unlikely. Perhaps she didn’t really mean Ive League.

          3. She didn’t say that 50% of the class got into Ivy League schools, but half of the students who commented on her blog. That said, I’m sure she’s guessing and exaggerating from what her son told her about who got into what college.

      2. Did you read the entire post? Having dealt with my own local public school regarding my kids, I’d have to say she is definitely not “full of shit”.

  35. Sharyl Attkisson: Six months later, where are the Benghazi survivors?

    Today marks six months since the September 11, 2012 terrorist attacks on the U.S. compounds in Benghazi, Libya in which four Americans were killed, including U.S. Ambassador Christopher Stevens. Some watchdog groups, members of the media and Republican members of Congress are asking: Where are the more than two dozen U.S. personnel who survived the attack but haven’t been seen nor heard from in public since? There were also an undisclosed number of witnesses at the U.S. compounds in Tripoli but they also have not spoken publicly.

    I wonder, are Sharyl Attkisson and Jake Tapper the only real reporters left in the business, at least at the national level?

    1. It should be stunning that reporters weren’t clambering over each other in attempts to get interviews with these people. Should be.

      1. Fox reports it. Silence from the rest. Gives me an uncomfortable feeling thinking about how party-run the rest of the media really is.

        1. The media isn’t party run, it’s worse. It’s people who actually believe in The King.

    1. …in Spongebob beer mugs!

    2. I lived in Germany as a kid. The attitude to alcohol is far different and better than here. They get so much exposure that by the time they are older there is no mystery about it and it’s legal, so they don’t feel like they have to binge drink every time they get a chance.

      1. And yet, they still do.

        I lived in Europe in the early 90s. Honestly, the only difference was the europeans didnt have to be sneaky about it.

      2. so they don’t feel like they have to binge drink every time they get a chance.

        This is kind of a myth.

        1. So looking into this, it seems things have changed over the last two decades, with binge drinking becoming more and more common. Any idea why?

      3. Ever been to Oktoberfest or the Xmas markets? Because my (admittedly second-hand) experience is very different. The Krauts binge drink like nobody’s business from what I hear.

        1. Yes to both, though I was a kid. I remember a lot of drinking but very few people “acting drunk.” Maybe things have changed. Of course I know those old guys in the Gasthaus could down a tub of beer, but they barely showed it.

  36. Agreed. These guys looks like the next Latin Kings, for sure.


    1. That’s been going on for decades.

      1. What the fuck? This was supposed to be under the McDonald’s beer thing and was until five minutes ago.

  37. Forms are hard

    About 33,000 Minnesota phone customers were dropped from the state’s Lifeline program for low-income families last year because they failed to return the proper certification forms to their phone company, according to the Minnesota Public Utilities Commission.

    The number was nearly half, or 46 percent, of the program’s 71,000 customers, the commission said.

  38. The education of the majority has been sacrificed in order to achieve profoundly mediocre results for the ineducable.

    This one, right here.

    It should be burned into the face of every School of Education dean in the country with a soldering iron.

  39. Where are the more than two dozen U.S. personnel who survived the attack but haven’t been seen nor heard from in public since?


    In Cuba.

  40. I suppose there’s not much opportunity for a conclave drinking game, eh? Since they’re all sequestered and shit.

    1. Black smoke? DRINK

      1. That’s no way to get drunk, though! There might only be one or two smoke signals a day.

        1. Every time you don’t know what’s going on?

        2. Just chug a tumbler of vodka every time you see the smoke. That should do the job.

          1. My grand-parents used to have a neighbor that did this, and she saw smoke every time she lit a cigarette.

            It definitely did the job; she’d be passed out by noon.

    2. I was actually surprised to see them showing live coverage of the conclave. Somebody in my office suggested it was the pomp and circumstance portion, but I thought it was all supposed to be secret.

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