Soothe Your Sequester Worries With a Job at the National Park Service

Yes, the United States government is on the verge of tumbling into the abyss due to the dire straits it finds itself in. How can a modern state be expected to to sustain itself on a scrooge-ish raise in annual expenditures from $3.538 trillion to $3.553 trillion (PDF)? But if all this fretting over national finances has you down, you can console yourself with the knowledge that the National Park Service is still hiring.
According to USAJobs, the keeper of all things employment-related for our friends in Washington, D.C., there are a good many positions open among the nation's federally managed wonders — and some of these openings were listed just today! A search for jobs at the National Park Service reveals such opportunities as:
Park Ranger (Protection), GS-0025-07, a gig (actually, two) paying $24.95 per hour (plus bennies) in San Francisco, with an "open period" for applications closing tomorrow.
If that's too tight a deadline for you, there are two openings for MAINTENANCE WORKER (WATER) that were listed just today and for which you can apply over the course of the next week. If you land one of these positions, you'll pull in $18.45 - $23.18 / Per Hour, plus any benefits the federal government may have to offer. If you already applied for the maintenance jobs in February, don't worry that the listing disappeared "when we were notified we needed to remove all vacancy announcements from USAJOBS. We have been given the approval to advertise temporary positions again. Individuals that applied when these positions were initially advertised, do not need to reapply."
The National Park Service is also hiring paramedics and masons, supervisors (at up to $74K) and guides. There are also a bunch of lifeguard slots, though it's not clear whether you have to provide your own Savage Steve Holland script if you land one. So don't fret that you lack an appropriate skill set. Whatever you can do, it's almost certainly good enough for government work.
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I have an ex-gf whose mother did this for a year. Just ttok a sabbatical as a lawyer for a year and spent 9 months at Yellowstone, making about what she made as a state government lawyer. Seems like a sweet gig.
...an ex-gf...Just ttok...
You government workers and your crazy jargon.
Sorry, took.
And they were, and most likely still are, a crazy family that I was very happy not to marry into.
I would love to work at a National Park like the Smokies or Grand Canyon. I mean your job is to go to the freakin' park. I suppose I should feel shame for desiring a job like that considering the employer. But that would require the capacity to feel shame.
There are also a bunch of lifeguard slots, though it's not clear whether you have to provide your own Savage Steve Holland script if you land one.
DOES NOT COMPUTE
In One Crazy Summer John Cusack just wanted to go to RISD. He wasn't a lifeguard. Even Ack Ack wasn't a lifeguard. Get your shit straight Tuccille!
"Why am I talking to you? You're not a man, you're a cat! Go back to your feline world!"
Thanks Epi, for clearing that up. And seriously 2chili, you really thought you could slip that one past the commentariat?
I underestimated the level of Savage Steve Holland mastery in this crew. Mea culpa.
I'm watching you, Tuccille.
(narrows eyes)
I think you underestimated the level at which Epi really, really wants to have sex with 80s-era John Cusack.
All his clothes-hangers have pictures of Lane Meyer on them.
My greatest dream is for him to stand outside my window holding up a boombox playing Peter Gabriel's "Excuse Me".
Don't you mean "In Your Eyes"? [shakes head]
No. That was Ione Skye's dream. Epi's dream has "Excuse Me" in it.
Epi is Ione Skye. Don't you people keep up with events and news on this board? Jeesh.
Only songs off of his first three solo albums are acceptable. Moron.
Meanwhile White House is cutting off those "costly" tours.
Funny how they eliminate the things people care the most about while keeping things that people don't.
More: http://www.foxnews.com/politic.....pact-cuts/
Bureaucratic civics FAIL 2chili.
Smokey Bear is the fire preventin' mascot of the US Forest Service. He has nothing to do with the NPS.
But ONLY YOU could make such a pedantic differentiation. So there.
HA HA! You can't tell one useless government bureaucracy from another. Also, COSMOTARIAN!
Are you trying to say the rest of us aren't as pedantic as SIV? Them's fightin' words.
Ha ha! Burn! You gonna cry like Bret Michaels? Ha!
Forgot the linky.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....-show.html
As if hating park rangers in a book format wasn't enough for Tuccille...
Btw, very much enjoyed the book.
I liked it too, Tucille, but to be fair you haven't mentioned the cavorting with topless nature activists as part of the perks of the job in your article.