A.M. Links: More Sequestration Nonsense, Targeted Killings May Happen on U.S. Soil, Cocaine Study Seeks Subjects in London


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    President Obama's not sure he can avoid that sequestration he signed into law. Janet Napolitano, meanwhile, is doing her part in the fearmongering by warning that sequestration may cause airport delays.

  • Targeted killings may not always involve drones, and may have happened on U.S. soil.
  • Rahm Emanuel may deem himself a potential presidential candidate in 2016, but his approval rating in Chicago is somewhere around 20 percent.
  • A cop in Washington Park, Illinois that's the subject of several open investigations is accused of arresting and tasing a local woman for no reason.
  • A twenty year veteran of the DC police force was convicted of trying to steal her brother's identity.
  • Montana's on the verge of making the consumption of road kill legal. Who knew it wasn't?
  • Ann Coulter called libertarians pussies on the Students for Liberty edition of Stossel.
  • King's College London is looking for healthy males aged 25 to 40 to snort cocaine.

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  1. Just reminding everyone to please participate in the Troll Free Friday* events all day today.

    *Moved one day due to the Somalian holiday on Monday.

    1. Shame on you for beating Fist of Etiketka to the punch.

      1. Beating Fist is my cover band.

      2. Speaking of punch, This should get the old blood boiling. Cop punches victim for backtalk. Did reason cover this and I missed it?

    2. Does that mean we have to ignore Ann Coulter. Not that that’s a problem.

  2. Ann Coulter called libertarians pussies on the Students for Liberty edition of Stossel.

    I have a feeling a lot of yokeltarians agree with her explanation.

    1. I have a feeling a lot of those students are libertarian on exactly two issues, gay marriage and drugs.

      1. I had a PoliSci professor who said “Libertarianism sounds nice, but there’s more to life than smoking pot and not paying taxes”.

        Like hell there is.

        1. There’s food trucks, too.

          1. Ho’s and prostiwhores

            * – of either gender or both, natch

            ** – I regret using that apostrophe but these slangy youngsters really do pluralize using the most savage conventions.

            1. I regret using that apostrophe but these slangy youngsters really do pluralize using the most savage conventions

              If they all jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do so too?

              (I’d just stand back and cheer.)

                1. I don’t think those young people misuing apostrophes are your, my, or deified’s friends.

            2. I regret using that apostrophe but these slangy youngsters really do pluralize using the most savage conventions.

              Following their barbaric grammatical structure only serves to help legitimize it the eyes of those who don’t know any better. Shame on you.

        2. Let’s not forget the sodomy.

          1. But first the spankings

            1. “Well, I guess I could stay for a bit…”

              1. It’s too perilous.

                1. Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.

                2. I bet you’re gay.

        3. What he means is “there’s so much more I think you should be doing with your life to benefit me.”

          1. “That pension and Social Security I expect to collect isn’t going to pay for itself.”

      2. I have a feeling…

        Feelings. Nothing more than feelings. Trying to forget my feelings…

      3. And don’t be so sure that their stance on gay marriage is libertarian, do you think most of them would be against forcing a Catholic caterer, for instance, to service a homosexual wedding?

    2. I have a feeling that as soon as the cameras went off, John was tapping that ass.

      1. Do you mean Stossel, or Sarca Smic’s foil?

    3. Her nutsack is showing again.

      1. Coulter was a big supporter for Romney-08. I think she smugly pushed the thesis that he would’ve known EXACTLY what to do with that late-breaking financial crisis and we’d be in perma-Republican utopia if only GOP-8 had nominated his Mormon ass.

        OK, fine, Ann said GOP-12. We give you what you want. Whatever she wants for little Annie-kins (gender undetermined).

        So we got the Mormon-v-the Kenyan: A rumble-in-the-jungle.

        How’d that work out for you, Master Strategist Ann?

        1. Sayeth Ann:

          “Marriage is the most important institution to civilize young people. I make divorce a lot more difficult,” she said. “Liberals want to destroy the family,” she continued, eliciting jeers and mocking laughter from the students.

          And, do remind me, just what is your marital status, Ann?

          1. Coulter has been engaged several times, but never married.

            Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

            1. Hedonism for me but not for me.

              The motto of socially conservative republicans on sex, and democrats on everything else.

              1. Er, ‘thee’ at the end there. I don’t know how you soberites get by the day without spiking your drinks from a flask.

    4. Well we can’t all be big strong supermen like Boehner and Romney.

      1. So much for troll free Friday. You just fed me.

        1. It’s a Libertarian site. The repercussions of me not participating are non-existant so I can ignore them.

      2. The Orange Pussy is the epitome of manliness.

      3. You mean those pussies who shit themselves when they are afraid brown people who worship a different superhero might be pissed at them? Fucking babies.

        1. You mean those pussies who shit themselves when they are afraid brown people who worship a different superhero might be pissed at them? have zero economic means to be a viable threat to the US and live in some shithole valley in a shitty mud hut in the middle of a shithole country? Fucking babies.


          These “terrorists” so many shit their pants over are the equivalent of foreign pols worrying that dirt poor and destitute appalachians being an existential threat to their way of life, and bombing them to fuck. Only dirt poor appalachians have 50x the wealth of your average “terrorist” (who likely wouldn’t be considered such had we not murder droned his family). It’s fucking laughable. And not only are we giving up our freedoms because we fear some of the poorest people on the planet, we’re giving up vast portions of our wealth as well.

          1. MLG, I definitely prefer your version. I just cited the religious aspect because that is generally what is played up in this “WAR OF CIVILIZATIONS” bullshit the neocons always seem to shoot out of their mouths like the beer/chipotle infused diarrhea flying out of me on Monday mornings.

            It’s 2013, and I still run into these deluded fools who have never been to New York and/or met a Muslim, but the very thought of them turns these tough gun-toting anti-welfare types into the biggest walking vaginas I’ve ever seen.

    5. She makes the classic mistake of conflating culture and government. IE “Single moms voted for Obama! We need more marriage!”

      It isn’t single parenthood per se. It’s government dependent single parenthood, which was created and expanded by the government.

      Nor does smoking pot turn you big government either. And so on.

      But Coulter sees that kind of stuff and decides the best way to solve these “cultural” problems is with government.

      1. By taxpayer weighted dollar volume the vast majority of “takers” vote GOP (the elderly).

        I would gladly keep paying for food stamps and TANF if I could unload the burden of FICA and Medicare/caid.

        1. unlike food stamps and other welfare, at least recipients of SS and Medicare put something toward the system.


            1. I don’t tow the GOP party line, pal. If that makes me a troll here then good.

          2. That is true. I am a Darwinist. I hate TANF/food stamps.

            But that is 1/35 the budget where the elderly receive 40% of our taxes paid.

            1. And we’re borrow about 43% of our budget. Yes I hate the elderly. Cut them off.

          3. A lot of the money we pour into food stamps and welfare are effectively a subsidy to big business. They keep poor people tolerant of unstable, low pay working environments.

            1. Exactly. The Senate Ag Committee won’t ever vote to cut food stamps. Food stamps are not HHS at all.

      2. Coulter, like most socons, loves the big govt cock when it suits her ends.

        1. Time to be innappropraite:

          Coulter, like most socons, loves the big govt cock when it suits her ends.


          1. I believe you meant to say “…in her end.”

      3. You mean correlation does NOT equal causation?

      4. What I found most obnoxious about her comments is that she said libertarians were trying to say things that would ingratiate them to lefties. Like libertarians all needy for acceptance?

        1. That’s why I always take the anti-GMO position with my lefty friends. Oh wait, I basically call them stupid about GMOs. Nevermind.

      1. a feminist social morality must undergird a free society in order to prevent state domination to creep into a society based on its toleration of patriarchal domination.

        1. Eh, as long as they aren’t doing it by force of government, I got not problems.

          Plus, we need more lady libertarians to staff our vast harems.

      2. Um….I’d pretty much have to say that the author doesn’t have a clue as to the origins of libertarianism. It’s as if he thinks we simply chose which parts of Republican and Democrat dogma we agree with and turned it into a philosophy. Which is of course, complete bullshit.

        Why is it so hard for these people to understand ALL libertarian positions stem from the NAP? Is the concept of a single guiding principle that foreign to them? Or is it they cannot conceive of an environment where there is no need to force all around your to believe as they do?

        1. ” ALL libertarian positions stem from the NAP?”

          This is incorrect, not all libertarians recognize the NAP, some arrive at libertarianism from purely utilitarian analysis

          1. I put it to you they may hold some common beliefs with libertarians, but they are not libertarians if that’s the case.

            Don’t get me wrong, I welcome that. I’d rather them have the right beliefs for the wrong reasons, than have the wrong beliefs.

            I argue with Reps and Dems constantly, that the reason their parties are immoral is they are unprincipled. They make up how they come down on an issue based upon being what the other side is not, rather than adhering to an overarching premise. They are inconsistent and hypocritical as a result.

            THAT, is why I am a libertarian.

    6. Well whaddayaknow.
      Apparently it doesn’t take one to know one!

    7. On the off chance Coulter reads any of this;

      Let me clue you in on something Ann. I tried pot back in 1980-81? I didnt like it. I dont smoke it. In fact, I dont use any drugs at all. When pot becomes legal I still wont smoke it.

      But, if I decide to start it isnt any of your fucking business. I own this body, not you, and I will decide what goes in it or not.

      Leave the collectivist BS to the left. It is the bedrock of their philosophy. If the GOP wants to be taken seriously, to survive, then they need to stop being the same statist shit in a slightly different bag.

    8. Ann is just jealous because she doesn’t have one.

  3. A cop in Washington Park, Illinois that’s the subject of several open investigations is accused of arresting and tasing a local woman for no reason.

    Reason found.

    1. No, it was for calibration purposes.

    2. I originally read that as ‘tasting’ a local woman. hmm.

  4. Montana’s on the verge of making the consumption of road kill legal. Who knew it wasn’t?

    Finally, Montana jails won’t be filled with buzzards.

    1. But you can still drink Yoohoo there.

      What a world.

    2. Great. Now there’ll be Coonasses all over Montana.

  5. Planned Saudi skyscraper to be more than 3,280ft tall.

      1. I don’t know. Are you?

        1. I’m not building a skyscraper.

          But if I did, it would be 20,000 feet high and be made of smaller skyscrapers.

          And also shoot lasers.

          1. Would the lasers be penis-shaped?

            1. Phallic symbols shooting off phallic symbols? What is wrong with you?

              1. Sorry, I’ve been looking at the Rob Liefeld thing since someone linked it on the Friday “Funnies”. It’s mind-altering.

          2. Pussy.

            If you are going to build tall, just go all the way and build the space elevator.

            1. Materials science says ‘not yet’.

              1. By the time you get tall enough for it to matter, the material will exist.

  6. Here come the drones!

    1. I think some good is going to come from this whole drone thing.

      It’s forcing the FAA to reevaluate the entire see and avoid concept and come up with a way to allow pilot-less aircraft into national airspace. The result…

      Pilot-less airlines. Which will cost a fraction to run compared to paying glorified bus drivers $300K a year.

      1. Airplanes are essentially pilot-less as it is. They can take off, fly, and land, without someone ever touching the controls. The purpose of the pilot is to be there in case of an emergency, Miracle on the Hudson style.

        1. Agreed. But:

          a. Computers can do the same.
          b. NO reason you couldn’t take control remotely from the ground.

          The only reason it hasn’t happened already is a little FAA rule that says under VMC, the pilot is responsible to see and avoid other aircraft. Which can be accomplished many other (more reliable) ways, but has been the standard for so long that to implement something new would be considered heresy.

          1. a. Computers can do the same.

            Computers are only as clever as the people who program them.

            b. NO reason you couldn’t take control remotely from the ground.

            What if communication equipment is damaged or jammed?

            I don’t really care, personally, because I will never fly again. Some TSA douche grabs my balls and I’m off to prison. Better to just not fly.

            1. What if communication equipment is damaged or jammed?

              What if the sun explodes? Can’t cover every contingency. Have a couple of backup systems and call it good. You aren’t going to prevent all crashes and you’d be at least as safe as you are now.

              It is extremely rare that you see something completely new in the way of in flight emergencies. It happens, but it’s rare. Usually, the light comes on, you run the checklist and you land.

  7. Journey guitarist is a douche.

    1. So, eventually everyone goes their separate ways.

      1. Who’s crying now?

        1. don’t stop believing

          1. Meh. Any way you want it.

    2. I find it hard to believe a judge didn’t order him to pay a hefty amount of child support.

      1. Perhaps he blessed the rains down in Africa.

        1. Oh no you didn’t credit a Toto song to Journey!

          1. Why would the surviving members of Toto be proud of that song anyhow?

            The lyrics are dumb, and don’t scan.

            1. Because it was a hit and residuals are nice?

      2. People find ways of evading that all of the time. The court system isn’t real good at the justice thingee.

        That said, she may be full of shit, too. Going public like this very well could be a ploy to get more money out of him in court.

        1. Yeah I’m pretty skeptical of women in family law. The system is so biased toward them, that when I see one getting screwed I assume she deserves it.

          A friend of a friend managed to get out of child support by the simple method of proving that the kid his ex had was not actually his. The mom tells everyone he’s a deadbeat dad. Because he has money, and they were together, and it doesn’t matter at all to her retarded little brain that the kid’s actual father is some random guy she fucked. She…I mean, the children, need a third of the nice income, not a third of the shitty one.

          1. That can be (and often is) true, but there really are lots of guys out there who go to great lengths to avoid support. Which helps create a bias against men, too.

              1. No doubt. People can be real shits. But the system has a lot to do with it, too. Judges and lawyers don’t really care about resolving things equitably or cheaply.

                1. Especially family court judges. The number of them who are certified man hating feminists is up for debate, but it’s certainly a noticeable fraction.

          2. I know a guy who agreed to pay child support for a kid that he didn’t know at the time was not his. When he found out that the kid was not his, the judge told him that he had to pay anyway because he had already agreed to it.

            1. Yeah, that happens, and it’s fucked up.

              1. I saw one where Bob was married to Susie. Susie got knocked up by Dave, but lied to Bob about it. Bob finds out, divorces her, and Susie files for alimony and child support. Is awarded it, and then marries Dave. Bob is still paying alimony and child support. Yes: he writes a check to a wife who has remarried and a child who is not is.

                Plus in many states you’re on the hook if a woman lists you as the father. All she has to do is write your name in. Which is asinine…we have this thing called a paternity test.

    3. Jesus…maybe…just maybe…(once?) popular musicians are not the best role models.

  8. Let Star Wars die! Please! Just let it die!

    1. Star Wars did die! And George Lucas killed it…

  9. Democrat Congresscritters demand hike in minimum wage. Meanwhile their interns go unpaid. Hypocrite much? Oh yeah. They’re Democrats. Nothing to see here. Move along.

    1. That’s totally different. People are in Congress to serve the public, not to make money and exploit the people.

    2. Advertising, media, moviemaking, etc have unpaid interns. These are typically left-wingish fields.

      Engineering, sciences, etc have well paid co-ops. These are typically right-wingish fields.

      Anyone surprised?

      1. Sons of Mary versus Sons of Martha.

      2. My intern earns the $35K/year.

  10. ‘You could say I snorted half of Peru’: Aerosmith’s Steve ‘Toxic’ Tyler reveals he spent $6 million on drugs


    That’s all?

    1. That was Tuesday, on Wednesday he went on a binge.

    2. Pssh. Elton John spent something like $50M in one year on drugs.

      1. Yeah, I was going to say, I bet Elton and Ozzy both put him to shame on that count. Piker.

  11. Rand Paul returns $600k in unused funds. Last year he gave back $500k. But Jesus fuckity Christ on a cracker, wade carefully through the comments.


    1. “The idea that we have a bunch of underpaid amateurs as politicians if crap. Running the USA SHOULD be a full-time career based on abilities to do so and well paid by US taxpayers to do so. WE ARE GOVERNMENT…We the People…. If we vote in people who abuse the system, do a poor job, are incompetent, then WE are to blame. While I can see reason for praise at Rand Paul’s decision, the flip side could also be that his office is not doing a good job for Kentuckians. I give him the benefit of honesty and hope that is not true. This whole anti-government thing so irresponsible and over blown. People criticize what works well like the USPS (try getting Fed-X to deliver your letter in 2-3 days across the country for 46 cents!) The government is our way as a civilized modern society to enact full societal changes and benefits. We are not a tribal society….but a sophisticated modern society that needs to work together.”


      1. Did I mention Jesus fuckity Christ on a cracker?

      2. The USPS works well because no fucking company in the country would operate at that large of a loss, even if it were legal to do so? Fuck these people, man.

        1. Yep. Looks like we have another dipshit who doesn’t understand TANSTAAFL.

          1. If you say it in Latin, you get bonus points.

            Prandium gratuitum non est or something like that.

            I should have it stone memorized since it was in a Pynchon book, but I drink a lot. I mean a LOT.

            1. Nullum Gratuitum Prandium

        2. And that’s why we should be more like China!

      3. try getting Fed-X to deliver your letter in 2-3 days across the country for 46 cents!


        It is illegal for anyone but the USPS to deliver first class mail, right?

        1. I can get my computer to deliver a letter for free, in the time it takes to hit the send button…

          And who the fuck writes letters anymore!

          1. Well, technically it only travels at the speed of light (at a maximum). So it takes just a wee bit longer after you hit the “send” button. 😉

            1. Well, if you’re going to get *technical* it travels significantly slower than the speed of light.

          2. Did you know that FedEx is still higher bandwidth than the internet?

        2. Correct.

          And, IIRC, they are forbidden to undersell the USPS on equivalent products too.

          1. Well, as things are, that’s not much of a problem, because NO ONE can profitably operate a courier service at rates even approaching the USPS’s fees.

        3. And did it really only cost 46 cents? Are taxes included in that shit? Unfunded pension liabilities?

      4. I was able to get Fed Ex to deliver a shirt across the country in 3 days for 97 cents.

      5. Professional what? How often has it turned out well when a politician has stayed in office long enough to learn the ropes? Almost invariably, the politician becomes increasingly corrupt and distant from his constituents.

        We’d do better with random appointments to Congress than with the method we’re using.

      6. Holy God…this person…this fucking monster of a person…would gladly machine gun the likes of us to death like children stuck in a public school if it meant ‘societal change’ would result. What fucking totalitarian monstrous piece of shit. FUCK.

        1. Same person: “How about being like a great government employee and try to fix things like Climate Change? We have government for a reason….lots of good reasons….not to try to go back to 300 years ago when everyone was independent….we are now totally interdependent.”

          If you couldn’t laugh you’d cry!

          1. Definitely crying.

          2. Give him a break, he’s probably still in high school.

            1. Or was kicked in the head by a horse repeatedly…

      7. He’s a derpin’ machine

        How about being like a great government employee and try to fix things like Climate Change? We have government for a reason….lots of good reasons….not to try to go back to 300 years ago when everyone was independent….we are now totally interdependent.

        Ivan, were you around in 2008 or asleep? The “free market, no regulations” destroyed the economy, created massive deficits and made a very few people very rich……but that is fine by you?

        1. If I dropped the US Code and the Federal Register on his head he would be concussed, yet we have no regulations.

          Derpity derp derp derp.

          1. He would be more than concussed. I think that’s 16 ton weight territory.

            1. Well you load sixteen tons, and what do you get?

              1. Another day older and deeper in debt, sI suppose, but I was thinking more Monty Python.

      8. If we vote in people who abuse the system, do a poor job, are incompetent, then WE are to blame.

        You’re actually right about one thing.

        Now, here’s the part where you fuck off and stop trying to get me to pay for the shitstorm of fuckmonkeys that you created with your fawning idiocy.

        1. I know for a fact that “WE” doesn’t include ME. So don’t lump me into the blame.

          Typical left-winger wants to socialize the BLAME, too.

      9. Running the USA SHOULD be a full-time career based on abilities to do so and well paid by US taxpayers to do so.


    2. His father did this year after year after year.

  12. Let Star Wars die! Please! Just let it die!

    1. Star Wars did die! And Jar Jar Binks was the tool that bastard used…

    2. It’s dead, but Zombies are big business now. People love Zombies. Harrison Ford kind of looks like a Zombie.

      1. Mark Hammill is getting there.

        1. Fisher has looked like a zombie for a long time.

          1. It was the cocaine. Her nostrils never recovered.

          2. Fat zombies?

  13. Stripping baristas who served coffee while only wearing their underwear arrested for prostitution


    1. I like lattes.

      1. But Seattle is so enlightened and awesome, I hear.

        Also, that’s been around forever in Pro Libertate land. Hell before the whole Starbucks thing you could get hotdogs from a bikini (or less) clad chick near Miami.

        1. I was making an Idiocracy reference, but that sucks.

          1. I caught it, Sir Francis Drake. Love that movie:

            ‘GO ‘WAY! BATIN’!”

        2. This is correct. And they had a stripper doughnut place in South Tampa some years ago.

          1. Round here they burn those things down.


            1. Here, that would be like burning down Disney World or the Kennedy Space Center.

            2. I would have thought it was too cold in Maine to have topless coffee shops.

              1. They have heat and other modern amenities, dude.

              2. We do have these things called heaters. And they heat things. Like buildings. It’s pretty cool.

                1. However, I will warn visitors to Maine–they don’t heat the Atlantic. Ever.

                  1. No, indeed. Growing up in northern New England, it took a long time before I realized that the ocean isn’t painfully cold everywhere and always.

      2. We don’t have time for handjobs now.

    2. At least Dunphy and his friends didn’t shoot their dogs.

      1. Hey, not fair. While we sit here “opining from our ivory towers making no positive difference in the world , those cops are out there being an “overwhelming force for good”.

        At least, that’s what we were told last night.

        1. “those cops are out there being an ‘overwhelming force for good.'”

          But the TV ad I saw said the ‘overwhelming force for good’ in the world was the US Navy

          1. No, no – the navy is a “global force for good”.

    3. “Grab-N-Go”, indeed.

      Sounds like solicitation to *me*.

    4. Were they bringing customers back to the “frapp? room”?

      1. There is no sex in the Frappe Room…

    5. I wonder if this place is listed on rubmaps.com along with all the “massage” parlors.

  14. A twenty year veteran of the DC police force was convicted of trying to steal her brother’s identity.


  15. Beat a person half to death, claim PTSD (for unknown reasons) and spend zero days in jail. That’s how Vermont treats its out-of-control troopers.

    Looks like Super Troopers was, unfortunately, not based on reality.

    1. I hope Kristen is OK.

    2. In any other state he would have kept his job, too.

      The important part of his plea is he agrees to not seek employment anywhere else as a cop or security guard.

      Vermont is about to take tasers away from cops, too.

      You’re infinitely safer from cops on our side of the NY-VT border.

      1. Well no shit. I’ve seen pictures of NYPD officers in crowded subway stations with select fire M4s, muzzle up and finger on trigger.

      2. “Vermont is about to take tasers away from cops, too.”

        Leaving their gun as the only option for “officer safety” doesn’t make me feel any safer.

        1. Our cops don’t shoot people that often.

          Mainly because they pretty much all grew up in Vermont, and spend 90% of their time stalking guys they didn’t like in high school and fucking with them. (Seriously, they do that. If they hear that someone they knew from high school got his license suspended, they case his house for weeks waiting for him to drive on it so they can bag him. Happens every day.)

          So if you aren’t one of those guys, the cops are way too busy to do anything to do but give you directions.

          1. Also cause if they start shooting people in Vermont they are liable to end up dead, or if they’re lucky, with a tractor on top of their car.

            1. True.

              If the cops here were like New York cops, I imagine many of them would be “mistaken for deer”.

              1. That might get you in trouble for being out of season. Better say you thought it was a coyote.

  16. The New Year’s Day fiscal cliff vote that reworked tax codes created such an IRS paperwork problem that there are still dozens of forms not even available yet

    Yielding more interest and penalty revenue! Along with the jobs it saves and creates, The Code just does wonders for this country!

    1. My Dad, who usually isnt quite this cynical, thinks the April 15 deadline is going to get moved this year.

  17. …but his approval rating in Chicago is somewhere around 20 percent.

    Chicagoans are just hoping to get a fish in the mail. Preferably before Friday.

  18. Oddly enough, even with several witnesses, this reckless killing of two innocent people hasn’t even gone to a grand jury.

    Beware: PoliceOne comments ignore the two dead “civilians” and focus on how a bad decision cost this cop his job and how tough the rest of his life will be. But they wonder why many on here despise them.

    1. I especially like the several “Not enough information to comment yet” when every story about them justifiably (according to their own statement) bashing someone’s head in with zero evidence is predictably followed with comment after comment about the “POS” they had to “put down”.

    2. But they wonder why many on here despise them.

      No they don’t. They understand full well why people despise them. People despise them because they are criminals. That’s the only explanation. If you don’t love the cops then you are a criminal.

    3. When I was young, my parents told me to only call the cops in case of a no shit, life or death emergency. It was only once I got older that they said they distrust cops. And they are red-meat Republican southern baptists.

      1. That’s one of the things I can use to break through to people. For all the happy talk about government, no one I’ve ever met likes it when they see a cop car.

        1. That’s a great point. Shall be using that in the future.

    4. I suppose the other people involved in the crash are going to have a tough rest of their lives too.

      1. Comment:
        Posted by adjackson171 on Thursday, February 21, 2013 07:21 AM Pacific Report Abuse
        Not enough info as other’s have stated, but it sounds like his department poured a whole lot of salt on his wound, especially if he indeed had the right of way. The poor guy already has to deal with the fact that the accident was a fatality. God Bless him.

        Yeah, I’m not so sure you still have the Right Of Way when you’re no longer obeying any of the other traffic laws.

        But hey, he has been departmentally charged and fired, so there’s no need for a Grand Jury to be convened. I mean, his life has just been wrecked, God Bless him!

    1. Well there is an obesity epidemic. Syrup will equal meth in due time.

      1. As soon as Mayor Bloomberg hears about this he will ban Maple trees in NYC.

      1. Whoops… I missed that edition of morning links.

    2. The important question: Did they shoot a dog and/or light a child on fire with a flash-bang?

    3. Neighbors called police after seeing an odd setup of tubes and buckets on the property in Union County.

      How stupid does one have to be to not notice the tubes running into Maple trees? Did they suspect the trees had a Meth addiction?

      Busybody fucking idiots.

  19. Looks like they’re pulling the National Lampoon gambit over the sequester bullshit.

    1. My Lampoon High School Yearbook is 35 years old now and torn and frayed. It is still the funniest thing I have ever read and sadly out of print.

    2. That’s precisely what they’re doing. And people buy it, even though it’s glaringly obvious that cuts to anything anyone really cares aren’t even remotely necessary.

      In a just world, the population would turn on politicians who pull this crap like rabid dogs. No matter what your politics, lies don’t become us.

      1. “But OUR liars are so dreamy!”

        1. If people would just hold their own team (as well as others) to ethical and moral standards, we’d be a long way to solving most of our problems.

          1. The problem is that everyone has different moral and ethical standards. Sure, we can agree in principle to no stealing, no murdering, etc. But even that starts to get lost in the mix when people hand out exemptions to the state based on their political beliefs.

            I would love for everyone to start from the groundwork that life, liberty, and property are endowed to everyone upon birth (BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FETUSES!!!?!?!!?!!) but unfortunately many people hold “fairness” and “equality” on a higher pedestal than the others.

  20. there’s more to life than smoking pot and not paying taxes.

    Maybe, but who gives a shit?

    1. There’s certainly more to life than paying taxes and otherwise doing what your told by your masters.

      1. It’s my life, not theirs. That’s the point.

  21. Quite the drug-running organization you’ve got there. It’d be a shame if something happened to it.

  22. Rahm Emanuel may deem himself a potential presidential candidate in 2016, but his approval rating in Chicago is somewhere around 20 percent

    Rest assured, if he is the nominee, Chicago will vote for him overwhelmingly, regardless. Democracy works!

    1. “Democracy sounds nice, but there’s more to life than good approval ratings”.

    2. They would vote for him to get him out of the city.

      They can’t vote against him for mayor since that would mean voting Republican.

    3. He’ll get the AIPAC bump for sure.

    4. So how is it that NYC manages the occasional Republican mayor, but no other big blue city seems capable of it?

      1. Look at the republicans they elect.

        Also, NYC is more than Manhattan and Brooklyn. It’s sort of like how Mass. periodically elects a Republican governor.

  23. Christine Quinn Could Lose Feminist Support, Shot at being NYC Mayor over Sick Day bill

    Christine C. Quinn, the current Speaker of the New York City Council, might be the first female (and LGBT) mayor of NYC. Could she be more of a feminist role model? Uh, yeah, she really could: Quinn’s blocked sick-leave legislation from even getting a vote for more than 1,000 days.

    This week, feminist activist Gloria Steinem said she would withdraw her support for Quinn if she didn’t allow a vote on the bill, which would require some small businesses to provide at least five paid sick days a year to employees, because the advancement of one high-profile woman isn’t as significant as ensuring the wellbeing of many.

    “Making life fairer for all women seems more important than breaking a barrier for one woman,” Steinem said in a statement.

    1. And from the comments…

      Sometimes I think about how close we all are to the brink of ruin and I just get paralyzed with fear. Workers who can’t call in sick because one day’s less wages will make the short on their bills or worse, calling in sick will get them fired. Small businesses who can’t afford to pay their workers above minimum wage, or for sick days, or for health insurance because if they did they’d be bankrupt in a matter of weeks. Customers who can’t afford to pay what products and services are really worth. So many of us are just barely able to cover our own asses month to month. And compared to other parts of the world that makes us lucky. And then I think of the uber-wealthy hoarding billions upon billions of dollars and I get really pissed. Ugh. What a world.

      1. We’re lucky compared to the rest of the world, but the “uber-wealthy hoarding billions upon billions” is totally unrelated to the system that makes us better off than third-world shitholes. Got it.

        1. Part of me wants these assholes to just be done with it, raid all the rich people’s fortunes and stand gob-smacked as a dozen eggs suddenly costs $100,000. Fucking morons.

          1. Or stand gobsmacked that the world doesn’t turn into rainbows and unicorns, that most people piss away “their share” and end up right where they started, and that a fair chunk of the rich end up rich again.

            1. Nah. They STILL wouldn’t get it. They’d continue to blame their misery on others.

              They are beyond reason.

      2. “written on my ipad”

      3. Those wealthy didn’t earn it, or didn’t inherit it from parents who earned it, or didn’t invest it and give capital to other startups, they simply sat down one day and had bags and bags with little $ symbols on them delivered to them, after taking money away from the poor. Ugh!! I’m like, sooo pissed.

        1. Those rich people probably had to lie and cheat to get that money. Even though I voluntarily paid for my computer, which provides me access to an endless cornucopia of pornographic delights, I feel cheated. Because. Because… they had the gall to ask for money.Yeah!

          Greedy bastards.

          In all seriousness, there are plenty of “rich” people out there that gamed the government imposed system and looted the hapless taxpayer. Those shysters would have had a more difficult time taking that money had that system lacked the force of bullets and prison-rape behind it.

      4. Here’s the thing:

        The time in my life when I was poorest was when I was in my early 20’s.

        I was making $18k a year (in the 90’s, not the 60’s) and was by any reasonable measure poor.

        But I had no wife, no kids, and lived in a cheap apartment with 2 other guys.

        And I had plenty of disposable income. Plenty. I was never once paralyzed with fear. I went out drinking in DC whenever I felt like it. I bought clothes when I wanted them. I ate my lunch in the office building cafeteria every day instead of brown bagging it.

        I was fine.

        I was fine because I hadn’t undertaken obligations I couldn’t fulfill.

        You read the sob stories at Kos, and they always include telling details:

        “I live all alone and can’t afford my rent…”

        Don’t live all alone.

        “I have two kids and…”

        Don’t have two kids.

        “I can’t move away from my parents to make more money, they’re old and need me…”

        Yes, you can. Move.

        “I have no transportation…”


        1. And the moving thing is bullshit. If you can’t afford moving your worthless shit with you… SELL IT.

          Fucking bus-rides to the west are cheap as a Newark whore (Tree-Fitty).

        2. In college I worked part time at a grocery store. Despite working 30 hours instead of 40, making several dollars an hour less than them, and living in expensive Burlington instead of Waterbury, I somehow had enough money all the time, and they just couldn’t scrape by…. Maybe you didn’t need to get that $400 a month car payment to upgrade from your 5 year old car?

        3. Yeah, I got a lot of horrible warnings when I got out of the Army in ’93. Life’s hard! You’ll be screwed! All this from a bunch of lifers who hadn’t seen life outside in 10+ years.

          No, man, life’s hard for you lifers because you have bills to pay and kids to feed and wives to support. I’m 23, everything I own is paid for, and I have no wife and no kids. Fuck it, if I can’t find a job I’ll sleep in my truck. Having no obligations means you can do anything you want. I never understood why those guys couldn’t grasp that.

    2. Feminism is all about choice. As long as you choose what the feminist overlords tell you to.

    3. the first(LGBT) mayor of NYC…

      Rudy Guiliani was a fag.

      That’s right, you boys. I went to install two way mirrors in his house and he came to the door in a dress…

  24. We owe Brent Musberger a big thank you.

    1. She is gorgeous.

      But look at the freakshow she was/is dating.


      1. We’ll see. All she needs is for him to draft high enough to get several million dollars in guarantee money, marry him, make a pile doing a Real Housewives of the NFL, and then divorce him when he turns into Ryan Leaf 2.0. She could be extremely rich and single by 27. And still hot. (and looking at that picture, lightly used if it all.)

      1. That’s wrong, yo.

  25. But they wonder why many on here despise them.


    1. I would say envy more than jealousy. I’m jealous of the rich. But don’t envy them.

      1. Don’t you have that backwards? Envy means you want to be rich, too; jealousy means you want their riches.

        1. If that’s the difference between jealousy and envy, then yes I guess I said it backwards.

  26. Ron-Ron actually NOT the cause of 20 cop cars at his house.

    (“Do y’all need my help?” Never change, Metta World Peace. Never stop viewing what appears to be an illegally downloaded copy of ‘Zero Dark Thirty’ and attempt to save the day in your Cookie Monster pajamas.)

    1. Hey, maybe there is hope for the Jim Buss era- maybe the Lakers will just morph into an amusing, freak show train wreck.

      Like the Knicks did under Isiah.

  27. And then I think of the uber-wealthy hoarding billions upon billions of dollars and I get really pissed. Ugh. What a world.

    Scrooge McDuck is doing the backstroke in his olympic sized swimming pool filled with gold doubloons and precious stones, and laughing heartily at you.

    1. It really is like these people got their opinions of rich people from watching cartoons. What do they think would be the point of “hoarding wealth” in they way they accuse the rich of doing? There is just so much ignorance.

      1. Sadly my father is one of these ignorant dumbasses. When some rich person is said to be worth X dollars, he really thinks that the person has X dollars in the bank that could be used to feed starving children. He does not understand the distinction between wealth and money. He’s brilliant in many other areas, but on economics he’s a total leftist derp.

        1. It’s as if they can’t conceive the idea that much of that wealth is tied up in the capital of businesses that produce goods, provide valuable services, and employ many people. They don’t realize that if that wealth were confiscated it would require liquidating those businessez. The utility of the weath would be greatly reduced and it would harm many people. Wealth is like the thermal energy contained in steam: at higher temperatures it can do more work and be used more efficiently. High temp steam can be used to produce electricity. Hot water can maybe heat your house.

        2. Could be worse, last time I talked to my father he tried to make the argument that China has a bigger navy than us and will successfully invade the west coast in my lifetime.

      2. The fact that they have nicer stuff and don’t have to go to a boring “menial” job for 8 hours a day is all the evidence they need of this hoarding. If only they could get that rich fucker to hand over a couple million, everything would be better.

      3. There is just so much ignorance.

        I knew nothing of economics until I got my MBA. I really think high school kids should get a couple econ/business classes. The reason politicians can pull the wool over they eyes of so many is most people don’t know anything about how an economy functions.

  28. It’s good that this police officer was charged, but what the fuck is going on when taxpayers can be forced to subsidize 80% of the rent of a cop because he actually lives where he works?

    But sequestration is impossible because there’s just no fat to cut anywhere. Riiiiiiight.

    1. Forget the fat, just start amputating.

  29. Jezebel misses the point in the best way ever with its “An Idiots Guide to Free Speech”

    University of Michigan’s Pi Kappa Alpha brothers celebrated America over the weekend by taking half-naked photos of themselves wrapped in an American Flag. The invitation circulated around campus and then around the internet.

    In response, a PIKE brother emailed to tell us that their chapter had been suspended and asking us for “something between support and advice; whether to succumb to the PR whores and try to make peace, or defend the fact that we violated no University of Michigan standards nor any standards as defined by Pi Kappa Alpha.Please help us support our right to the freedom of expression.”


    As an American, you have the right to say most anything you want to say without being penalized by the government.As long as you’re not inciting crime, spewing out “fighting words”, making true threats, or sharing obscenity as defined by the Miller test/child porn, you’re pretty much good to go.Hate speech is protected pretty strongly here in the U.S.


    Basically,speech combats speech:everyone gets to say stuff,but with that freedom comes the relevant repercussions.Which means that if you’re thinking of putting yourself out there?strategically-located American flag or not?it’s probably more important to know the rights you don’t have than the ones you do

    Emphasis original.

    1. Schools are not government institutions!!!

      Oh, wait. Yeah they are.

      1. U of M is a private institution, I believe, despite its name.

        1. Nope. They receive state funding. See the breakout for “General Fund”.

    2. And the character limit didn’t let me bring this in, but the Supreme Court case they are citing is Whitney v California, specifically Brendeis’ concurrence, which, despite being a stirring tribute to free speech, ultimately upheld the conviction of a man for his involvement with a political party.

      So they also miss the point there.

      1. Curse my poor HTML skills!

      2. Whitney V California

        Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927), was a United States Supreme Court decision upholding the conviction of an individual who had engaged in speech that raised a threat to society.

      3. And a part I clipped:

        the landmark SCOTUS Whitney v. California decision determined that “to justify suppression of free speech, there must be reasonable ground to fear that serious evil will result if free speech is practiced” and “there must be reasonable ground to believe that the danger apprehended is imminent.” ? so congrats, you can call some random person a “Nazi cunt” on Twitter

    3. Well, they may believe that their fraternity independently decided to crack down on them, and didn’t do so at the behest of the university.

      1. Well, I sadly couldn’t fit it in, but not only is there go to example for “free speech has consequences!” a frat suspended at a government school, they also talk about combating speech with more speech (which is precisely what they advocate against in the actual real world, see Citizens United or campus speech code), and then, to top it all off, their go to case as the one that established the strong tradition of free speech in the United States is Whitney v. California where the Supremes upheld the conviction of man who was jailed for founding a communist party in California.

        They may as well have written an article called How Animal Farm Illustrates Stalin’s excellent leadership of the Soviet Union

    4. They made the mistake of using props. True Pikes prefer naked serenades.

    1. That is some grade A derp. I’m mystified by a woman’s ability to turn a 30-second-max story into a 5-minute+ epic.

    2. Sug, you need to highlight the comments baby! You know their system is horrible to sort through for any but the truly masochistic.

      Anyone who doesn’t think men are capable of prattling on for hours on end about asinine bullshit have clearly never listened to sports talk radio.

      I mean I love my sports, but holy hell… talk about talking all day without actually saying anything.


      I’m actually quite interested in the cultural evolution of the strong silent John Wayne male archetype especially because it’s so not true (you want to see gossipy? Check out the Republican party). I almost can’t help but draw class analyses from it, as though it was put forth to discourage workers from organizing.

      It’s crazy because in both instances, the gender norm (either John Wayne, or the silent demure engenue) seems to valorize not talking. It’s kind of a weirdly American thing.

      But the best is…

      I just met / started hanging out with a new guy I thought I was interested in. Dude talks constantly. He doesn’t even ask about me or my life. He just talks about himself, nonstop. I’m pretty much over him already.

      1. I have this theory that if you subtracted the words a woman uses in a day to retell conversations they had with someone else, their word total would fall below the average man’s.

        I love women, I like women, I spend all day with women, but the idea that the Chatty Cathy is just a myth is a steaming bowl of self-serving tripe.

      2. It’s crazy because in both instances, the gender norm (either John Wayne, or the silent demure engenue) seems to valorize not talking. It’s kind of a weirdly American thing.

        How about you shut up and only say the important stuff? Weird, right? Stupid cunt.

        1. The term is “laconic”, you fucking ignorant cunt. And if you knew ANYTHING about history, you’d realize why it’s called that, and why calling it a “weirdly American thing” makes you look like a ignoramus.

          1. Just to be clear, I’m talking to whatever derpified jezzie wrote that and not you, sparky.

      3. Regarding that last one…maybe the quim is just not that interesting beyond her biological attributes to that guy. I wonder if she has ever considered that.

        Around the heart of the crumbling empire (D.C.) I run into endless throngs of single girls who work for non-profits. Almost all of them are indebted, liberal in the worst sense, economically illiterate, desiring a man but not a life with said man (marriage, kids, etc.), and “love” the city. The day something like that is appealing to me is the day I am 18 again.

        1. Nope, it’s the opposite.

          He’s really into her, and because of that, he’s energized when he’s around her and feels like talking. So a torrent of words comes out.

          I bet if you followed him around the rest of his day when she’s not around, he’d say like 5 words total.

          1. You got a point fluffy. I don’t say shit unless my GF is around.

      4. The sports radio example is stupid because in that case two or three guys are talking and thousands of men in the audience are not saying a word and listening. The average words per participant is still miniscule.

        Even the callers only say like 20 words each. They make their point, and then they go back to listening. In silence.

        1. A lot of guys I know talk back to sports radio, but probably not as much as I do to the news.

    3. Just so I’m clear: A scientific study now no longer constitutes evidence?

      Thanks for the femsplanation.

      1. All science they disagree with is just anecdata.

        1. However, their anecdata is more credible. Its like looking in on natural philosophy before Francis Bacon.

      2. Statistics also aren’t statistics if they reach conclusions that differ from Gender Studies canon.

    4. I’m not going to follow that link, but it’s clear that women spilling thousands of words on this topic got themselves trolled big time.

  30. So, asking the important questions. Since Mumford and sons are from London, does that prevent them from being hipsters? Sadly I don’t think it does. But they really are not bad as painful as it is to admit a hipster might have talent.

    1. Hipsters are not an American phenomenon. If anything, they began in Europe with Eurotrash.

      1. Yeah. But they actually play real instruments as opposed to fake ones like ukeleles and kazoos and have a bit of talent. I think that makes them at worst reformed hipsters.

        1. But you miss the essential component of Eurotrashitude. They aren’t being Eurotrash on their own dime. The hipster is an externally funded lifestyle; if they had jobs they’d cease to exist.

          1. They are actually selling records and supporting themselves. This is what is known in hipsterdom as “selling out”.

            1. I talking about hipsters in general. Hipster musicians are high-functioning hipsters. The average hipster hates them because they are equipped to somewhat deal with life.

            2. John, they should be writing grant proposals for a non-profit organic co-op, while living with 6 other people in a 2 bed Brooklyn apartment as part of a “polyamorous puddle of love” and biking to work on their fixed gear bike!

              That’s how you make a difference in this world, man.

              1. You forgot the chamberpots.

                1. VINTAGE chamber-pots.

              2. I know two sets (groups? packs?) of very nice, employed polyamorists who bathe regularly. Its not my thing, but they seem to all get along and enjoy it.

                1. I have no problem with polyamory per se, except that it seems for some to now be a way to get back at their parents.

                  Like, I’ve never been in that situation, but those who I do know who are actually into put a fuckton of work into making sure that everyone goes to bed relatively satisfied and not pissed off.

                  1. put a fuckton of work into making sure that everyone goes to bed relatively satisfied and not pissed off.

                    No shit. Scheduled “date nights” every week between multiple partners and such. It seemed like a lot of work.

          2. You mean making artisanal mayonnaise isn’t a job?

            1. I can’t help but think that schmuck is laughing all the way to the bank. I mean, charging 9 bucks for 4 oz of mayonnaise? If you buy Hellmann’s at the store it’s like 25 cents an ounce. He’s got an insane markup going on there.

              1. Looks like he’ll be laughing all the way to the bank again by selling frozen custard to hipsters and assorted NY douchery.

                What’s next on the horizon now that he’s conquered the most difficult items on the culinary landscape? Will he go balls-out and try to figure out how to manufacture and sell hot sauce? Or will he take the greatest challenge imaginable and take on making funnel cakes?

              2. uhhh considering it takes 1 egg yolk and 1 cup of oil and about 5 minutes yeah. His markup would be around ,000.

                1. damn html…there is a percent sign and a 20 missing from above…place accordingly, or don’t give in tot he patriarchy and make your own percent sign.

            2. that’s more of a calling, isn’t it?

            3. “Managin’ a pop group–ain’t no job for a man.”

        2. Or they’re just Brits. I mean, there is a long tradition of Brits listening to American music and then coming over and kicking our asses at it. See: Rolling Stones, The.

    2. Mumford and Son? “I’m calling you ugly, I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.”

      1. Ah, yes. Or “buffalo brownies”.

    3. I ran into a Canadian hipster in mainland China. I shit you not, he did not have lenses in his glasses. The Chinese girls thought he had brain damage.

      1. The Chinese girls were right.

    4. The singer is a hipster.

      His entire lifestyle is a ploy to make it OK for him to fuck really hot petite girls even though he looks like a fat guy’s ass with eyes and a mouth painted on it.

      His wife is incredibly hot, his girlfriend before that is incredibly hot. The guy’s got it all figured out.

      “I know – I’ll learn to play the guitar and banjo, and play Conway Twitty licks on it but sing about my ‘spirit’ in a British accent, and I’ll be the coolest hipster thing going. And the chicks will just roll in.”

      1. So, you’re jealous, too?

        1. Dude, you’ve got me all wrong.

          I am celebrating the guy.

          1. You have to admire the con if it works, right, Fluffy?

            1. I don’t think it’s even a con. Everyone seems to get what they want on reasonable terms.

            2. Money for nothing and the chicks for free. Can’t blame a guy if it works.

    5. Hipsters may be obnoxious people, but that doesn’t mean you can automatically assume that anything they are interested in or create is crap. Life is tricky that way.

  31. Ex-Mississippi state trooper to plead guilty to violating the civil rights of a woman he beat in a jail over five years ago.

    It is unclear why the local DA didn’t see fit to file any charges or why the case was swept under the rug for five years. Oh wait, it’s not unclear at all. The evidence including video was handed over to his department and forgotten about.

    Funny. The cops witnessing him beat a woman senseless while in custody didn’t arrest him on the spot or file a complaint with the DA, their own department or open their own investigation.

    But there’s equal protection in America, right?

    1. But there’s equal protection in America, right?

      Sure. Everyone who isn’t a sworn LEO or a close relation gets treated equally bad.

    2. Note from the second link that it’s “unclear how he parted ways with the MSP”. Yeah, I’d be willing to bet he’s drawing a taxpayer-funded pension as we speak.

    3. Random “Feminist”: Meh…doesn’t matter as long as she can get abortions and force married guys on the other side of the country to pay for her birth control. THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS.

  32. it’s probably more important to know the rights you don’t have than the ones you do


    1. Those of you in Illinois are.

  33. The cops witnessing him beat a woman senseless while in custody didn’t arrest him on the spot or file a complaint with the DA, their own department or open their own investigation.

    I’d be surprised if any of his co-workers ever even turned down an invitation to drink a beer with him.

    1. She deserved it. I mean, why would he beat her if she didn’t? QED

    1. Is this about hipsters (Portland sets off my early hipster warning system)? If so, I don’t think I am going to read it.

      1. I read it before it was mainstream.

  34. Algae lamps. Put off almost no light, but consume as much CO2 as a tree. Only the fucking French would call this an advance.

    I mean, any 25 liter jar of algae is going to consume the CO2. Glad you found one that throws a dim light.

    1. Algae that eats GLOBAL WARMING!

    2. Odd… the image they used photoshopped the “lamps” in a public setting to demonstrate their uses but added them to plaza that was covered in snow. I’m assuming that the algae is growing in a medium of liquid water. How is that water supposed to stay warm enough outdoors in the winter to keep from freezing and killing the algae without using a form of electricity that emits CO2?

      1. Electrical heaters run off windmills. And big fans run off solar panels to turn the blades of the generators when the wind isn’t blowing. If it’s night-time and the wind isn’t blowing and the algae is frozen, maybe you should think about staying inside, asshole.


      2. No, no. Dude. Its net CO2 less! because it uses CO2! Its okay. Even if they have to use 100x as much energy to keep the water at temperature as a normal lamp would use.

    3. Seems kind of cool. The big problem I see is people thinking that absorbing co2 means “cleaning up urban air pollution”. Even if co2 is a big problem, it’s really not the sort of pollution they are thinking of.

      1. That and it produces fewer lumens than gas lamps.

  35. Totally anecdotal, but an unsurprising display of liberal tolerance:

    I was browsing a dating site yesterday to see what’s available since I just got out of a relationship. This site has multiple choice questions you can answer, and you can say which answers you would find acceptable in a partner. One is about political affiliation. I said I was “Other” (which could really mean just about anything), and every girl that I’ve seen with that question answered “liberal” says my answer is unacceptable. This even holds true for the ones who specify they don’t like talking about politics because they are personal.

    1. It is a cult. They get their entire sense of personal worth from being part of the hive.

      1. It’s striking. I mean, I can see if your job is in politics or something, but if you want to keep it private and not talk about it, why would it even matter?

        1. Having worked in politics in the past, I still don’t get it. Carville and Mary Matlin make it work.

          Plus, angry sex!

          1. The only time I ever injured myself during sex was a vicious hate fuck with a girl who had not an hour earlier called me “the personification of every vicious, nasty, evil human impulse”

            1. So, she mistook you for Epi? That’s gotta hurt.

          2. Carville and Matalin get along because of the tendency of the two major parties to get in bad together.

    2. Welcome to OK Cupid, buddy!*

      And yeah, liberal chicks can be tough. Still, I would still message ’em. I have “I love to argue” on mine, so if they do to, I generally feel that I could get something going there.

      And ask Kristen sometime about the crazy sex questions some people make.

      *Don’t try to hide it, we all know.

      1. Welcome back. But a lot of the people here have been married for a while so I needed to explain the questions format.

        Also I don’t love to argue. At least not with people in real life.

        1. Also I don’t love to argue. At least not with people in real life.

          Well, Auric, I don’t see a romantic relationship in our future then!

          1. We can argue here, buddy.

        2. Don’t know why, I’m married I’ve had an active account on OK Cupid for more than a decade (my wife has one as well), it really is a fascinating site especially in that it allows for more than the standard “My biological clock is ticking and I need to get married now” or “Hey who wants a one night stand” that you find on most “dating” sites.

    3. I think the best thing most libertarian guys can hope for politically with a girl is finding one who is relatively apolitical.

  36. Wile E. Coyote will be suing Syrians for stealing his schtick.

    1. So will the A-Team.

      1. And what about MacGyver?

        1. Angus MacGyver scoffs at all of the things they wasted making these wasteful machines that may be able to be used twice.

    2. What could possibly go wrong using a giant slingshot to propel a pipe bomb with a half inch fuse you just lit?

      1. C’mon, though. The armored vehicle with a machine gun controlled by a PS3 controller is on my list, now.

      2. You laugh, but what if you were up against someone using microphones and computers to determine where mortars, for instance, are being fired from? I bet the slingshot would not register on them. Expect to see more big slingshots used in urban warfare in this century.

        These people are fighting a war. I’m sure they have a different view on health and safety issues than we do.

        1. I like the rocket pod from a jet or helicopter they have mounted on a compact pickup truck.

        2. I was more amused by the guy smoking in the bomb-making factory, then the slingshots. The slingshots have some use.

        3. I don’t deny the necessity of their actions, but I do question their methods. If i were up against someone using much more highly advanced technology than myself I wouldn’t resort to pipe bombs fired from sling shots, but that’s because I know how to build better weapons from scrap (or at the very least, know enough to use a longer fuse).

          1. You need the right fuse time to have it explode above your target to spread the shrapnel over the widest possible area. And it looks like they are using other better weapons from scrap as well.

            As impressive as this is. This almost makes we want to arm some of these guys to be honest.

            1. You need the right fuse time to have it explode above your target to spread the shrapnel over the widest possible area.

              This is what makes it a stupid move. The chance that they will be able to get that pipe bomb to explode over their target consistently is almost nil. The variables involved in the construction of the bomb combined with the constantly changing conditions of the wind, the bombs lack of aerodynamics, and the differing tensions that will result from the sling shot with each use make this use of the pipe bomb almost as ineffective as it is dangerous.

              And you’re right, they are making much better weapons with scrap as well. rendering the sling shot that much more senseless.

        4. Um, we use much better tha microphones.

          Mortar shells are little balls of metal, that kinda makes them highly reflective to radar, fir off your mortar and our counter battery radars will triangulate on your location in seconds.

          The days of stationary artillery emplacements is over, at least if you are talking about a war between technologically advanced nations, shitholes like Syria and Mali they can still be of use for a few more decades

  37. FTR I don’t think libertarians are pussies, at least in the way Ann Coulter describes. I see very little evidence that libertarians are trying to suck up to the liberal establishment. Pretty sure they really do believe in legalizing pot. And they don’t talk about their views on nondiscrimination because it would get them laughed out of any room. That’s not necessarily pussyhood, but practicality.

  38. Contrails!!1!.

    tl;dr: Airplane contrails “produce a contradictory but slight net warming effect”. Shit. Something about scales mattering…

    1. “He then crashed the car into a taxicab, causing a fiery explosion on the Strip that killed cabdriver Michael Boldon, 62, and Boldon’s passenger, who was not identified. The innocent bystanders were burned beyond recognition.”

      Not all that happy an ending.

      1. Well there is that, but who knows how many more people might have died if this little cum-stain had lived his four-score years and ten?

        1. On second thought, it’s three-score years and ten.

        2. The guy likes guns and whores.

          So what?

          That puts him two up – way up – on Michael Bloomberg (as just one example).

          A happy ending would have been if he had driven to NYC and accidentally discharged one of his guns into Bloomberg’s face while running him over with the Maserati. If he then escaped to a country with no extradition.

  39. A Mount Horeb police lieutenant had a months-long sexual relationship with a 14-year-old boy who moved into his Madison apartment in October but told investigators that for months he did not know the boy’s true age, according to a criminal complaint filed Thursday, Feb. 21.

    Dennis P. Jenks, 44, was charged with repeated sexual assault of a child for allegedly carrying on the relationship with the boy between October and Feb. 13, when Jenks was arrested by Madison police.


    1. “I would have expected a 14 year old boy to have a much tighter asshole. Seriously, he *had* to be at least 16.”

    2. He was just doing research for his homosexual reinterpretation of Lolita. He didn’t enjoy it, so they should let him off scot free.

  40. A cop in Washington Park, Illinois that’s the subject of several open investigations is accused of arresting and tasing a local woman for no reason.

    Apparently the Police Academy is run by Moe Howard.

  41. Is that a picture of Weird Al snorting a giant pile of coke? It would explain a lot.

    1. I believe it is George Carlin. Weird Al apparently never does drugs.

  42. “Pussy” is pretty much as close to a compliment as you can get from Ann Coulter while not totally falling in line with all of her beliefs. Especially considering what she says about liberals (most of which I agree with). I think she views the media the same way most people view an online discussion board. She’s just freakishly self-confident.

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