A.M. Links: Hunt for Dorner Ends in Flames, Nugent Not a Fan of State of the Union, Pope Speaks About Resignation, Russia Bans Smoking in Public

Credit: Rvin88. Wikicommons

• Police may have started the fire that engulfed a cabin at Big Bear Lake in California where a body suspected to be that of ex-LAPD cop Christopher Dorner was found. 

• Ted Nugent was not impressed by Obama's State of the Union address, saying that his favorite part when when he couldn't hear clearly. 

• Pope Benedict XVI has spoken for the first time about this resignation from the papacy, saying that he is stepping down "for the good of the church."

• The latest North Korean nuke test has been condemned by the U.N. and is being viewed as a test for China's new leadership. 

• Russia, where 40 percent of the population are smokers, has banned smoking in public.

• At least nine civilians, mostly women and children, have been killed by an airstrike in Afghanistan. Three Taliban commanders were also killed. 

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

...where a body suspected to be that of ex-LAPD cop Christopher Dorner was found.

And here they thought the cabin was Dorner.

[Way Of The Crane]

Police audio from the Christopher Dorner siege reveals a deliberate plan to burn down the cabin in which Dorner was trapped, with one LAPD officer heard to say, "fucking burn this motherfucker," before police discussed their intention to, "go ahead with the plan with the burners."

It's like the LAPD's own personal little Waco.

[LTC(ret) John]

We are fortunate that no kids were in there.

[fish]

We are fortunate that no kids were in there.

Isn't the presence of children usually what prompts the call for armored equipment.

[LTC(ret) John]

Per the Reno Doctrine, yes, you are correct.

[RBS]

I don't know why anyone is surprised. No way Dorner was getting out of there alive.

[GILMORE]

He's hiding on an Amish farm! in the grain tower!

[db]

Yeah, no one could have seen this coming.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Who knew they could actually be less subtle about it than the Feds?

[nicole]

Well, it is LA. Subtle is really not what they do. Have you looked at the Kardashians' eye makeup like, ever?

[Drake]

The LAPD militarized itself before most of the Fed agencies. That is one reason there is such a spectacular level of cop-hate in that city.

[db]

The shitty part is that the insurance on the cabin probably won't cover reconstruction, because it's destruction was an act of the State.

[Drake]

Think they will get any of the reward money, or just a big fuck-you?

[Ted S.]

Infowars??

[entropy]

Honestly I was thinking the same thing. Hostage takers always set the building on fire and kill themselves right after police fire a bevy of incendiary tear gas cannisters onto flammable material.

I wouldn't go so far as to say they were necessarily trying to set the building on fire (I guess we don't really know), but I will definitely say the fuckups are too full of themselves to ever admit they screwed up, and consequently, will keep doing it.

[R C Dean]

I would. They call those incendiary tear gas grenades burners, after all. Post-Waco, its not a big secret that they set shit on fire.

And they were talking about burning the cabin down.

And they were clearly operating under a "kill on sight" protocol, given the periodic outbreaks of gunfire aimed at anyone suspected of being Dorner.

[jesse.in.mb]

"suspected of being Dorner" gives them a bit too much credit, no?

[Brandon]

It's like they wanted to prove Dorner right.

[Whiterun Guard]

And you jerks thought "Kill it with fire" was just a meme.

[Enough About Palin]

I think the Gabby-Clap should be the new meme.

[db]

"Burn that fucking building to the ground!"

--supposedly heard on police radio yesterday

[fish]

Not supposedly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....e=youtu.be

[Ted S.]

Tear the roof off this sucker

[Slammer]

In'N'Out Owner Among Richest Women on Planet:

Oh man, that's a funny headline

[Drax the Destroyer]

There's Van Halen song called "In N'Out." It's not about hamburgers.

[Whiterun Guard]

It's about a convenience store, right?

[RBS]

Is there a Van Halen song that is not about sex?

[db]

"Take Your Whiskey Home"

[Night Elf Mohawk]

Have you seen Junior's grades?

[Drax the Destroyer]

"Right Now"? That was about some fixing/saving the world 90s liberal bullshit right?

[WTF]

That wasn't Van Halen, that was Van Hagar.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Weird, for some reason, they decided to print "Van Halen" on the damn album. It's like they completely forgot they changed their name to van Hagar or from a legal/contract perspective, they were Van Halen.

But yes, they were not like the Van Halen of old with Hagar in the ranks.

[entropy]

I actually like some of Hagar's solo stuff but as soon as they became Van Hagar they both went down the toilet.

Some of Roth's solo stuff with Satriani is pretty good though.

[entropy]

Give me a bottle of anything, and a glazed donut. To go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_KeCa9MmTY

[db]

David Lee Roth may be the Ur-hipster. His remakes of old tunes indicate a strange fascination with nostalgia for a more innocent, naive entertainment business. The difference is I don't think he did it with a sense of irony.

[entropy]

Woops, meant Vai.

[entropy]

Also, can't reply in the right place.

[entropy]

NEEDS MOAR COFFEE!

[$park?]

Some of Roth's solo stuff with Satriani is pretty good though.

You mean Steve Vai? Wiki has nothing about Satriani.

[NebulousFocus]

You mean Vai?

[Rasilio]

No, way.

I actually liked Van Hagar (the first concert I ever went to was the OU812 tour, although that was primarily because my roommate bought the tickets so I would drive him because I had the car), with Roth they were just tedious to listen to.

[Killazontherun]

Vai and Sheehan, you mean? Hell yeah.

[sarcasmic]

The moment ex-cop shot his own son dead and claimed self-defense... and video is key evidence in his murder trial

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....z2Kb0W52lI
Had he been in uniform he would have gotten a paid vacation and no trial. However...

[sarcasmic]

Watch out for teenage girls in Sydney.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....z2Kb0W52lI

[Whiterun Guard]

Well now we know where IFH was yesterday.

Also, gang of Ozzie teen girls?

I'm willing to take my chances.

[Auric Demonocles]

Statistics from the Bureau of Crime reveal that there are three attacks every day at train stations in Sydney

What the fuck, Australia?

[LTC(ret) John]

Are we sure they are not kookaburras, dingos or drop bears?

[Citizen Nothing]

A teenaged girl ate my baaahbeee!

[Fist of Etiquette]

You didn't know that The Road Warrior was a documentary?

[Lord Humungus]

every day.

[Way Of The Crane]

They are a dangerous breed.

[Brett L]

Seriously, if you can't fight off three women in heels, turn in your man card.

[Fatty Bolger]

As politicians warned that cutbacks are leading to decreased security at Sydney's stations

Right, because everything else has been CUT TO THE BONE. See what happens, people?!!! See what happens when we cut the budget??!!! YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!!

[Brandon]

Has anyone seen IFH today?

[sarcasmic]

They may not be the most elegant of names, but they are certainly eye-catching.

And no one could blame the postman if he titters when he's delivering letters to homes in Bum, Tittybong, Climax or Intercourse.

Now someone has created an interactive map of the world's most suggestive place names - and probably become a hero to immature teenagers everywhere.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....z2Kb0W52lI

[Spoonman.]

What about easily amused 23-year-olds?

[Whiterun Guard]

Hey, now I know how long it takes to get from Intercourse to Climax.

[Kaptious Kristen]

What about amused 40-year-olds?

[fish]

It takes us longer...but we have the GPS so we still don't stop for directions.

[Auric Demonocles]

You're still 23, Spoony?

I thought you were slightly older than me.

[Way Of The Crane]

My favorite: Fucking, Austria

[Ted S.]

I've actually been there. In Austria, those town name signs also signify the start of different traffic laws (especially lower speed limits) for built-up areas. To show that you're leaving such an area, and can start driving faster again, the other side of the sign has the name of the town with a slash through it.

[sarcasmic]

Emma Watson's hair is growing out.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....z2Kb0W52lI

[Auric Demonocles]

She's almost back to attractive!

[Whiterun Guard]

I liked it shorter. Then again, I also like my women to wear baseball uniforms, smoke cigars and sport fake mustaches.

[Way Of The Crane]

How do you feel about the ones sporting strap-ons?

[Auric Demonocles]

I think he's already indicated his answer to that:

"*Sigh* If only it was real..."

[mr simple]

If only it were real.

[Whiterun Guard]

There are ones that don't?

[db]

You're Mickey Rourke?

[Atanarjuat]

Ew. Women look good in anything but fake mustaches.

[db]

I just had a horrible thought of some hipster chick trimming her bush into a handlebar mustache.

[db]

I just had a horrible image of a hipster chick shaving her bush into a handlebar mustache.

[db]

God, it happened again! Will the torture never stop?

[Atanarjuat]

I checked, and "handlebar mustache pubes" is already a suggested google result. Fucking hipsters.

[AuH2O]

One of my roommates senior year of college was a buddy of mine who had dated a girl with a full blown, wispy mustache (the kind you see on Hispanic teens in any number of media portrayals). I gave him so much shit about it when I was living with him.

[sarcasmic]

John would fuck her.

[nicole]

The terrible copy at the Mail is starting to ruin all enjoyment. I mean, not only would I argue that she is not makeup-free, but those are clearly not over-the-knee boots. If all you're going to write about is people's clothes, describe them accurately!

[Auric Demonocles]

Silly nicole, looking at the words.

[LTC(ret) John]

There were words? Huh.

[Groovus Maximus]

Which is why it should always be called, The Daily FAIL.

[AuH2O]

I told them we were wasting literacy on women, but did they listen?

[nicole]

It sounds like it's being wasted on men, since I'm the one actually reading.

[BakedPenguin]

I get the feeling I'd like this reply if I could read it.

[Groovus Maximus]

Does this mean The Daily FAIL is wasted on lesbians as well? I assume they must also be illiterate.

[Auric Demonocles]

The problem with women reading is they can't realize which parts are actually worth reading, so they'll just read whatever is in front of them.

[nicole]

Like over-the-knee boots aren't worth reading about? Talk about a FAIL.

[Bee Tagger]

Russia, where 40 percent of the population are smokers, has banned smoking in public.

What about being smokin' in public? Putin (and Jim Carrey) I'm looking at you. Those shirtless pics didn't just take themselves.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Next up, an enforced minimum age for getting perpetually drunk on vodka.

[Groovus Maximus]

Don't laugh, it's there.-) UKR also went Full Metal Soviet on cigarette smoking in public about a month ago, so this doesn't surprise me.

When they go Full Metal Soviet on vodka and aquavit...

[LTC(ret) John]

"When they go Full Metal Soviet on vodka and aquavit..."

ORANGE REVOLUTION II, Alcoholic Bugaloo!

[Jerry on the boat]

Here I thought that smoking and vodka was their way of dealing with a pension crisis.

[Ted S.]

Didn't the USSR try it in the 1980s?

[Groovus Maximus]

I asked Dr. PG about that, and she said "Da", but it was a horrible FAILure, as Russkij like their tobacco, and was actually a form of underground, black market currency, and enforcement was next to impossible. They even banned popular cartoons, like Nu Pagodi, from the airwaves not too long ago, since the Volk always had a cigarette or cigar in his mouth.

Since more and more Russkij yoots (particularly wimminz) no longer smoke and really don't like it, they wont see as much blowback (ha!) this time.

[Ted S.]

Actually, I was thinking more of a campaign against alcohol.

[BakedPenguin]

They tried that, too. Maybe you can guess what resulted.

[AuH2O]

I thought the mothers just drank vodka all through pregnancy and then just added it to the kids milk and juice from an early age.

[Way Of The Crane]

Pissing in public is still legal though, right?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ted Nugent was not impressed by Obama's State of the Union address, saying that his favorite part when when he couldn't hear clearly.

If your White House gets in his way, baby, you know he'll burn it down.

[RBS]

Next year someone should bring Danzig

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5Z52a-7WEM

[Slammer]

My favorite Danzig video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfD7agP1yxw

[Ted S.]

Isn't he named Gda?sk now?

[Whiterun Guard]

Ted Nugent was not impressed by Obama's State of the Union address, saying that his favorite part when when he couldn't hear clearly.

I say the same thing about every Nugent album since 1976.

[db]

He'll take no prisoners.

[LTC(ret) John]

"saying that his favorite part when when he couldn't hear clearly."

Or write clearly?

[Auric Demonocles]

This missing alt-text better be some sort of moment of silence.

[LTC(ret) John]

Maybe it is all that the Pontiff can say right now?

[RBS]

I see Feeney still refuses to get with the program.

[Groovus Maximus]

It's the Euro-trash in him, he's not very bright.

[Auric Demonocles]

I'll even except alt-text with an extra 'u' shouved in there.

[Auric Demonocles]

*accept*

EDIT BUTTON!

[T]

alt-teuxt?

[$park?]

ault-text.

[AuH2O]

More proof that we are in the Darkest Time Line: Dan Harmon considered, decided against doing a Nicholas Cage episode of Community

"For two seasons we wanted to do an episode where Jeff Winger pretended there was a class called 'Nicolas Cage Appreciation,' and then the Dean caught them and as punishment to them he was going to make that a real class and force them to watch all the Nicolas Cage movies in one night. The thing about Nicolas Cage movies is? unless you're a total cynical dick, you have to embrace the fact that Nicolas Cage is a pretty good actor. He's done a lot of weird, dumb movies, but that was supposed to be the point of the episode ? that Nicolas Cage is a metaphor for God, or for society, or for the self, or something. It's like ? what is Nicolas Cage? What is he? Is he an idiot? Or a genius? Can you write him off, or is he inexplicably bound to your soul?"

[Drax the Destroyer]

I think it would take more than a night to watch all the cage flicks. I'm still trying to track down "The Wicker Man" and drink myself smart watching that. Than again the youtube videos showing its highlights are probably enough.

[Whiterun Guard]

Honestly, it was just boring. Not even good bad or bad bad, just boring.

But yeah it would certainly take more than one night.

[Auric Demonocles]

Friday night I ended up laying a charades type game at ~2 AM with celeberity names. The first round you were allowed to talk, and the only Nick Cage movie I could think of was Wickerman (even though I've never seen it).

One time my friend and I figured out how long it would take to watch all the Steven King movies and it was over 3 days.

[Whiterun Guard]

I hope you didn't count Kubrick's The Shining in that math.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Yeah, King himself hated Kubrick's version and in answer, created the awful Sci-Fi miniseries. Fucking Stephen King man...

[Auric Demonocles]

We didn't say they had to be good.

[PS]

Wickerman was pretty good. But I never saw the original and only watched the Rifftrax version of the remake.

[Ted S.]

I don't recall Nicholas Cage in The Wicker Man. Britt Ekland, on the other hand, was yummy.

[Atanarjuat]

...unless you're a total cynical dick, you have to embrace the fact that Nicolas Cage is a pretty good actor.

Good thing I already knew I'm a total cynical dick, cuz Nick Cage is a shitty actor.

[AuH2O]

A little movie called The Rock would like to have a word with you, sir..

[Whiterun Guard]

He's great at acting like Nick Cage. At least one of the top three.

[AuH2O]

Yes, and give that "Nicholas Cage" has been a stock character since the day of Comedia Dell Arte, I think he should get more credit for mastering the role.

[Fist of Etiquette]

He was acceptable in Moonstruck.

[Lord Humungus]

Valley Girl ftw!

[H. Reardon]

Nick Cage was great in "Razing Arizona", but I don't think that he was acting.

[Drax the Destroyer]

I think that movie as a whole was great partially because Cage had not yet begun ingesting enough coke through his forehead to ruin it.

[Pro Libertate]

Still my favorite Coen brothers film.

[robc]

That was his last good movie.

Nothing since Raising Arizona has been worth watching.

[BakedPenguin]

I thought Leaving Las Vegas was good, although maybe that's only because I'm a drunk who hangs out with hookers.

[nicole]

I've never seen Leaving Las Vegas, because my boyfriend once watched it on a "guys' weekend" that involved eating pot-cookies so strong they were bright green and taking enough mushrooms that he didn't realize he was sharing the apartment for the weekend with not only two other guys but also a Great Dane. He made it sound rather traumatic, but then he would be traumatized by drunks hanging out with hookers, whereas I would be like, "where do I sign up?"

[BakedPenguin]

I can see how it could be near traumatic for some. It's certainly one of the most depressing films I've ever seen.

[Brett L]

Its on my watch once only list. I tried to watch it a second time maybe a year ago and barely got through him filling the grocery cart with liquor before I decided there were 13000 better things to do with my life.

[Chinny Chin Chin]

If by "great" you mean "never changes expression and speaks only in monotone", then I agree.

Cage's appeal in that film is due to great music cues.

[Proprietist]

Wild at Heart, anyone?

[nicole]

Yes, the correct answer is Wild at Heart.

[Bones]

He's a bad actor that somehow ends up in good movies. I defy anyone to name me one Nic Cage movie (by the way, Nick has a fucking k in it) that would have been worse if another top actor played the role he played.

[Citizen Nothing]

Adaptation

[db]

Face/Off
Travolta/Travolta

[AuH2O]

National Treasure

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

[Kaptious Kristen]

Both of those would have been 10000000x better if Cage hadn't been in them. Justin Bartha is a fine actor and stole every scene he was in. If Bartha had had a decent foil (i.e. pretty much anyone other than Cage), those movies would have been super awesome, instead of just awesome. Jon Voigt and Harvey Keitel also did great in those movies.

(they're two of my favorite pure entrainment escapism movies, despite Cage)

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Bartha acted in those movies like a refugee from a Joss Whedon television show.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Honeymoon in Vegas

[Pro Libertate]

Hated that movie. He was okay in the one with Elisabeth Shue's bare chest.

[Bones]

You guys think he was the best choice for ANY of those? I just don't get it.

[Kaptious Kristen]

I think they misunderstood your question

[MJGreen]

It's hard to think of another actor for Adaptation, mostly because he nailed the goofy brother.

[lap83]

I agree. I think he's a decent actor with bad taste in movies. If the screenwriter and director are good, he's good.

Incidentally, I prefer Nicolas Cage to a lot of conventionally "great" actors because he doesn't seem to be full of himself. ( Dicaprio, Damon, Penn, etc)

[C. Anacreon]

I really hated him in "Peggy Sue Got Married." Perhaps a trained chimp would have been a reasonable substitute?

[Bee Tagger]

Ted Nugent was not impressed by Obama's State of the Union address, saying that his favorite part when when he couldn't hear clearly.

Oh no, that sounds like the advanced stages of feline laceration fever.

[LTC(ret) John]

"feline laceration fever"

Cat Cut Fever?

[Kaptious Kristen]

Elevated Temperature Due to Feline Abrasion

[Bee Tagger]

Fine, this is much much better than what I wrote.

[Groovus Maximus]

Excellent, Kaptious One. You get an RX pad now!

[Kaptious Kristen]

WOOOHOOO!! Opiates for all!!

[gaijin]

so sad...he got it from some kitty next door.

[Bardas Phocas]

Reason's writers should be careful what they publish - or they'll lose the coveted title of "People's Writer"

...and have a bounty put on their ear.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

[AuH2O]

Our Good Friend Hugo on What Girls got right about older men/younger women relationships

The episode touches on other traditional aspects of the older man/younger woman trope. Joshua is predictably out of touch with the younger generation; he mistakenly identifies his loud hipster neighbors as frat boys, a description that Hannah finds hilariously inaccurate. She mocks him gently for his cluelessness and sets him straight about kids these days; Dr. Joshua isn't just getting great sex, he's also getting a quick lesson in pop culture from an exquisitely reliable source. One of the most compelling aspects of age-disparate relationships is that the power seems to flow both ways. The younger woman is as much teacher as student; if the older man wants to feel as if he still "has it," he'll need her to explain her generation to him.

[Virginian]

Yeah....that's totally why I fuck younger women. Because I want to understand their generation.

Oh wait, no, it's because they're limber and obedient and they don't have crazy baggage yet.

[WTF]

Holy shit, that's idiotic.

[PowerBottom]

I'm sure that'll make all the middle aged wives who've been dumped by their husbands for younger girls feel just swell.

[Ted S.]

If Maude can have a relationship with Harold, why not older men having relationships with younger women?

[Virginian]

Because PATRIARCHY!

[NeonCat]

It's sick and exploitative for older men to have sex with younger women. It's empowering and beautiful for older women to have sex with younger men.

Just remember that male sexuality is a terrible, terrible thing and you can pretty much skip reading any pop feminist article.

[bostonaod]

What I didn't quite get about the latest Girls tempest was that the Jezebelles all claimed it was brilliant because, hey look at all this discussion it generated. And then they proceeded to bash the shit out of the discussion, because how dare you question doctors who go hoggin'. So if the discussion the show generates is dogshit, and that "discussion" is the redeeming feature of Girls, --

Wait, never mind. I totally get it.

[MJGreen]

One of the most compelling aspects of age-disparate relationships is that the power seems to flow both ways. The younger woman is as much teacher as student

And the same applies to prostitute/client relationships, right?

Right?

[Bobarian]

"Dr. Joshua isn't just getting great sex..."

Does anybody really believe that is what he's getting?

[Kaptious Kristen]

Police may have started the fire that engulfed a cabin at Big Bear Lake in California where a body suspected to be that of ex-LAPD cop Christopher Dorner was found.

I never assumed it was anything else...I'm not the only one, am I?

[Tim]

I was worried they might have found a random nut, who happened to be black.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I don't know that he needed to be black, or a he.

[Tim]

Coulda caught Sloopy on a bad day...

[Jerryskids]

I would think that after the fire even Edgar Winter would be black.

[Jerryskids]

And it would be interesting to get a look at that body - see how many bullet holes in the back of the head it has.

[Rich]

You *may* be.

[AuH2O]

Well... yeah, who else would set fire to the place?

I think the reason people are upset is because its the mask slipping- if they set fire to the place, then they were trying to kill him, not arrest him and prosecute him like they are supposed to.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Well, now, I'm no lawyer, but I do believe that's a violation of Dorner's rights.

[sloopyinca]

I wonder how he'll fare in his federal civil rights case? Oh, that's right. He's been burned to a crisp.

[mad libertarian guy]

I never assumed it was anything else...I'm not the only one, am I?

Where the fuck do you think you are? I sure as hell didn't think there was any other possibility. My theory is that he had names to name, and that there was no way the LAPD was going to just capture him. No matter how he decided to handle this, they were going to kill him.

[Atanarjuat]

Poor girl. Inspring story, though, that despite her birth defect(s), she achieved a career as a model. Possibly NSFW-ish, but not really.

[Night Elf Mohawk]

Photoshop is not always a tool for good.

[Whiterun Guard]

I'm firewalled from that, so I'm going to assume that she was born with a primordial tail like in Shallow Hall.

Even if you tell me what it actually was, I'm still going to keep on thinking that.

[Groovus Maximus]

You got a woody from POTA femmes, didn't you?

[Whiterun Guard]

Oh god no. If you shaved them maybe.

[Way Of The Crane]

Inspring story, though, that despite her birth defect(s), she achieved a career as a model.

Is it ginger awareness week again?

[Drake]

I thought that was the 2nd week of March?

[Zeb]

I don't get it.

[WTF]

Birth defect = souless ginger

[EDG reppin' LBC]

We were at The Getty this weekend and saw a whole family of gingers. My wife pointed and started screaming at them.

[Atanarjuat]

Actually, I was referring to her nipple-less breasts, but that's pretty funny. I bet the original of that pic was pretty hot but after photoshopping it's as sexy as a mannequin.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

She has extra stupid tatoos.

[Kaptious Kristen]

I need to play the lottery today. Metro is completely fucked up this morning and I made it to work on time. I have no idea how that happened.

[Tim]

Alcoholism is like that.

[RBS]

One time on the Metro some guy got is head stuck in the door and naturally the Metro people got all pissed at the lady who pulled the emergency release to get him out.

[Drax the Destroyer]

I think they get the week off if they accidentally decapitate a passenger or something. It's like that college "rule" about having a roommate that offs himself.

[Tim]

Everybody comes out ahead...

[AuH2O]

Wait... can we now discuss Dead Man on Campus?

Because that movie is EXCELLENT.

[Bardas Phocas]

What do you get if your roommate shoots you and then himself? The semester I say.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

Someone didn't wash the dishes?

[Drax the Destroyer]

It's almost like the 5 bucks you spent getting to the heart of darkness was worth it. Almost.

[Way Of The Crane]

Metro is completely fucked up this morning and I made it to work on time.

I heard someone got hit by the green line train.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Yep. I ride the Yellow line into Pentagon, and I actually made it there with about 3 minutes to spare before my shuttle departed. There were 1000s of people who had gotten offloaded crowding the platform. I have no idea how I made it to my shuttle.

The $3 I spent to get there is pretty much 1/2 what it costs to drive, and I get to nap along the way (although it seems some people who drive in also nap).

[Kaptious Kristen]

Some asshole decided to suicide at the height of rush hour.

[brlfq]

Selfish bastard.

[Way Of The Crane]

If you hate the world enough to kill yourself, you might as well fuck up as many people's day as possible.

[The Late P Brooks]

I wonder how many people are running around this morning saying, "If that Dorner guy, who was a HIGHLY TRAINED military and law enforcement pro, couldn't singlehandedly destroy the entire law enforcement infrastructure of southern California, it's ridiculous to pretend the Second Amendment says you are allowed to have a gun to battle government tyranny!"?

[Rich]

couldn't singlehandedly destroy the entire law enforcement infrastructure of southern California

To be fair, however, he did singlehandedly *tie up* the entire law enforcement infrastructure of southern California.

[Groovus Maximus]

So this alleged murderous nutbar is basically a very entertaining Broken Window?

[Drax the Destroyer]

Makes you wonder if they devoted those kind of resources to tracking down murderers and pedophiles, how much more scum they would funnel into prison/the grave. Oh wait, that's right, they only devoted those resources because of base fear and revenge. Public servants, my ass.

[mad libertarian guy]

Makes you wonder if they devoted those kind of resources to tracking down murderers and pedophiles, instead of drug users, how much more scum they would funnel into prison/the grave.

Clarified!

[Way Of The Crane]

how much more scum they would funnel into prison/the grave.

Not to mention how many more innocent bystanders would be shot.

[Drax the Destroyer]

I think that was primarily due to the fear aspect...but maybe they just enjoy shooting people who don't deserve it (See: drug users).

[AuH2O]

Shit, imagine if they took cops off of drug busts and had them go after crimes with an actual victim.

[mad libertarian guy]

Shit, imagine if they took cops off of drug busts and had them go after crimes with an actual victim.

We'd be just like Somalia, duh.

[Tim]

He was one guy. Imagine what 100 could have done. 1,000.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Combine that with this fictional mob's only (initial) "crime" being "possession of a firearm." Does skew the math of public opinion a bit.

[Alack]

...Is that an Alice's Restaurant reference?

[BakedPenguin]

Never got the appeal of that song. Coming Into Los Angeles is far superior.

[PowerBottom]

I've already seen comments like that at HuffPo. What the freaks don't understand is that by making the argument that me and my guns would be crushed by our police and military, they are simultaneously making the argument that the government is SO powerful, that there is nothing citizens can do to resist it, even with firearms.

[AuH2O]

But the government is voted on democratically. Therefore, it is legitimate. By resisting the government, you are resisting the Will of the People?.

[sarcasmic]

These people want government to be powerful enough to crush anyone who dares to resist because they believe that government and society are one and the same.

[Drax the Destroyer]

It kills me that these "Will of the People/Majority" types are also the same people who try to protect minorities. Hey assholes, you know who else qualifies as minorities? THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR THE GUY/DONALD DUCK/NO ONE YOU FUCKUIIOHSHBLKSJHBHDAHGIFDLGALKJSD

Ok...need to lay off the meth in the morning...

[Ted S.]

You're more fun to read when you're on meth.

[sarcasmic]

It's called tolerance. Tolerant people do not tolerate intolerance.

Those who voted for the loser are intolerant.

Thus it is the duty of tolerant people to crush the intolerant people who voted for the loser.

The more intolerant one is of intolerance, the more tolerant they are.

[Groovus Maximus]

How does gluten and lactose factor into this?

[AuH2O]

Tolerant people are vegans, and also are smart enough to know that gluten causes autism. They have compassion for the poor, who because they live in food deserts and are not as educated do stupid things like vaccinate their children, and are so poor that the food they eat isn't organic and is FULL of gluten.

[sarcasmic]

People don't choose to be gluten or lactose intolerant, so that kind of intolerance can be tolerated.

It's the people who display their intolerance through things like supporting liberty (liberty meaning tyranny, since liberty involves using force against those who initiate force, and those who initiate force don't like it when tyrannical libertarians tell them to stop) who cannot be tolerated.

[John]

they are simultaneously making the argument that the government is SO powerful, that there is nothing citizens can do to resist it, even with firearms.

That is what is known as wish fulfillment.

[Agammamon]

Their arguement doesn't hold up.

That *one* guy killed 4 police, sent 5 to the hospital (in addition to killing two civilians) - even at 1:1 odds for the rest of us 'untrained' people that works since there are a heck of a lot more of us than them.

[Jordan]

I just want to know how they reconcile the LAPD - while searching for a 270 lb black man - shooting two 150 lb Asian women in the wrong truck without warning and hitting several nearby cars and houses, with their belief that police are all expert marksmen and models of restraint. And then proceeding to shoot a 150 lb white guy.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Omelette, broken eggs. Same old shitty breakfast.

[Atanarjuat]

As I posted on the Book of Faces the other day, I finally get why Californians keep voting for politicians who are for gun control: they see the marksmen at the LAPD in action.

[Tim]

They were scared shitless, but of course they'll never admit to that.

[Ted S.]

Because fuck you, that's why.

[brlfq]

They are asking the same thing on reputable blogs all over America.
Here are some of the theories:

Cops are pigs
Cops are fascists
Cops gotta kill
America is a totalitarian state
Americans suck
Beyonc? totally sang that live

[Tim]

Why do these sieges always end in flames? Note to self: build doomsday bunker to be fireproof.

[Drax the Destroyer]

It's easier to find evidence when it's been completely immolated.

[Groovus Maximus]

Invest in asbestos.-)

[LTC(ret) John]

Your friends in Asbestos, Quebec thank you for that! Also, here is ticket for glorious vacation spot:
http://englishrussia.com/2012/.....the-world/

[Groovus Maximus]

Now, you why Russia went Full Metal Soviet on cigarette smoking. They have to limit cancer to asbestos exposure.-)

[Way Of The Crane]

The LAPD slang for a Tear Gas canister is "Burner." When used indoors, a fire is usually the result.

[T]

Surprising no one who has ever used a tear gas or smoke grenade. They shoot a nice little jet of flame out the top of the canister that's about 2 inches long.

[AuH2O]

So, did anyone else imagine sloop and Banjos watching the state of the union together last night, getting wasted to endure it, and slowly devolving into Kenny's parents from "I'm White Trash, and I'm in Trouble"?

Because I did.

[Whiterun Guard]

This, right here. This is how a stalker is born.

[Banjos]

Sloop fell asleep at 9p watching Beverly Hills Cop while I was cleaning up/comforting my toy poodle who was attacked by one of our larger dogs. Poor thing lost two teeth. But you should already know this since you subscribe to the Sloopy and Banjos Stalker Newsletter.

[nicole]

Ahem, if there is a Sloopy and Banjos Stalker Newsletter I demand to be subscribed. I want photos of farm animals and adorable babies!

[The Late P Brooks]

I also like my women to wear baseball uniforms, smoke cigars and sport fake mustaches.

That sounds like some sort of weird Fidel Castro fetish.

[AuH2O]

Wimmenz, you are safe once more.The evil Rethuglicans have finally let us pass VAWA!

The Senate passed the Violence Against Women Act this afternoon, by a vote of 78 to 22.Every female senator voted in favor of the act (phew) and, naturally, those dissenting 22 were all Republican men, including rising GOP star Sen.Marco Rubio (R-FL),who apparently decided it would be more helpful to his career if he opposed a woman-friendly bill that was expected to pass.

VAWA sputtered and died last year because Republicans were unhappy with new provisions for Native American,LGBT,and undocumented victims of domestic violence.GOP senators tried to sneak similar amendments back in before it went back up for vote this time?and, last week, eight Senators voted against debating it at all?to no avail.

Now the bill has to go to the House for a vote?not exactly the safest space for women.

From the White House's statement:

Delay isn't an option when three women are still killed by their husbands or boyfriends every day.Delay isn't an option when countless women still live in fear of abuse, and when one in five have been victims of rape.This issue should be beyond debate ? the House should follow the Senate's lead and pass the Violence Against Women Act right away. This is not a Democratic or Republican issue?it's an issue of justice and compassion.

[Rich]

VAWA!

What Barbara Walters calls her ladyparts.

[Matrix]

Yeah, liberals were going nuts on Facebook about the Republicans who voted against it... because those Republicans hate women. There could be no other reason to vote against VAWA than their pure hatred of women.

[Auric Demonocles]

Well obviously this bill will immediately halt those murders and rapes. Right?

[wareagle]

so absent this law, violence against women is legal?

[LTC(ret) John]

No, but the gravy train of grants stops (I worked under one 1999-2001 when I was an employee of the G). Oh, and the expansion of the definitions to anything adopted as a pet cause/identity too.

[Certified Public Asskicker]

I was trying to find out what the big deal was the other day, and this is all I could find.

There is an Office on Violence Against Women afterall, they want to keep their jobs.

[Rich]

Thanks, CPA! I just learned from the OVW that February is "Teen Dating Violence Awareness & Prevention Month".

[Groovus Maximus]

I initially read that as "OVA"; does this mean I am part of THE PATRIARCHY!?

[Rich]

Yep. But if you think that's bad -- the OVW slogan on their website is (I'm not making this up) "The common law is the will of Mankind".

[R C Dean]

Particularly ironic since they owe their existence to a statute, which is to say, not the common law.

The will of Mankind must be that the OVW not exist.

[Ted S.]

OVW: The Office of Violent Women?

Everybody knows women can be just as violent as men.

[T]

Yeah, but they're not as good at it.

[Dr. Frankenstein]

Didn't this used to called "Dads"?

[Matrix]

I know... because there are no charities out there that can assist battered women without government funds. Nope. None.

[Virginian]

^This. VAWA is about keeping the money flowing. Where do you think gender studies majors go to work?

[Ted S.]

You were an employee of the G-spot?

[Zeb]

His handle should probably give that away.

[sarcasmic]

It probably means that such cases will now go to federal court.

[Bones]

This is what I don't get. All the things made illegal by this law are already illegal, are they not? Maybe they should make dropping the charges when your husband beats the shit out of you illegal.

[Bones]

*not pressing charges

[sarcasmic]

I'm pretty sure that the state will press charges whether she wants to or not.

And this new law likely means that the federal government will also press charges.

[Bones]

So all the shows that portray an abused spouse flustering the police by not pressing charges on her scumbag abusive husband who eventually kills her are wrong?

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

The state has the right to press criminal charges (or not) regardless of what she wants, but if she doesn't cooperate they lose a key witness and may not bother.

[Rasilio]

As someone who was officially the "victim" of "Domestic violence" (my father in a drunken rage came at me with a knife) I can categorically state that yes, they will press charges whether you want them to or not.

This of course is a wonderful place for future state Congressmen to be to make a name for themselves in the DA's office by showing they are "tough on abusers" while simultaneously ignoring the actual families wishes and needs (my father had untreated PTSD from Vietnam, he needed to be institutionalized, not jailed but they really didn't care about that and just wanted a conviction for "domestic violence" on the record)

[Jordan]

The law gives them new unconstitutional goodies, like being able to compel a suspect to give a DNA sample, and allowing non-Indians to be tried in tribal courts, without the protections of due process.

[Brett L]

Maybe they should make dropping the charges when your husband beats the shit out of you illegal.

aka Warren Moon laws. I think it may still be the case in TX that one party in a domestic violence beef must spend the night in jail and the prosecutor gets to press charges independent of a complaint. (Although, he can't compel a spouse to testify against a spouse.)

[Zeb]

Just out of curiosity, I wonder how many husbands and boyfriends are killed by their women everyday? Seems like a little context is needed for the "3 women a day" think to have any meaning.

[sarcasmic]

This woman stabbed her hubby after catching him on the computer looking at naked girls.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....-porn.html

[Bam!]

There's an entire show on cable dedicated to wives who've stabbed their husband.

[Matrix]

Texas teen in court battle to stop parents from forcing her into having an abortion

No word from the Jezzies on this issue.

[Brett L]

Her body, her choice, right?

[nicole]

[insert circumcision quip here]

[Matrix]

Doctors 'freeze' baby to treat heart condition

Not actually freezing him. But they did lower his body temperature to 91 degrees.

[Groovus Maximus]

This is actually not uncommon for cardiac procedures, and actually helps victims of sudden cardiac arrest. The lowered body temp eases strain on heart trauma.

Also useful in TX peri-operative fever, and can be useful both pre- and post-op, since it can retard the inflammation response and lower HR, and this is uses ice baths, thermal blankets, and ice enemas to lower core temp.

[mad libertarian guy]

ice enemas

Don't you DARE talk to me like that ever again, Groovus!

[fish]

In Ukraine ice enema is room temperature.

[PS]

I wonder if this is related to the supposed advantages of post-workout ice baths to reduce inflammation and recovery times.

[The Late P Brooks]

Invest in asbestos.

You're over thinking it. Cinder blocks and a tin roof.

[Tim]

A hot tin roof?

[PS]

Don't be a pussy.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Confirmed: Obama has some of the dumbest SOTU speeches in our history.

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/.....ion-dumber

[Rich]

Some Reasonoid made an excellent observation to the effect that the speech writer was Mark V Shaney.

[Tim]

Well the Marks I thru IV Shaneys totally sucked.

[kibby]

Why am I laughing at this?

[Kaptious Kristen]

Winnar

[fish]

Pike created a "vicious" character named Bimmler.

Where are our "Bimmlers"?

[Jordan]

Idiocracy was prophetic.

[Tim]

Practically a How To manual.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

"Break it down, Camacho!"

[The Late P Brooks]

Delay isn't an option when three women are still killed by their husbands or boyfriends every day.Delay isn't an option when countless women still live in fear of abuse, and when one in five have been victims of rape.

They're right. Those things should be illegal.

[Drax the Destroyer]

It's almost as if, these women should be allowed to defend themselves with...a gun or something.

[Rich]

But a murder lasts forever!

[Drake]

Or just stop talking during the game.

[thom]

Women can easily defend themselves by picking up the phone and requesting police assistance.

[John]

Even if that is true, which I doubt, that is less than 2000 murders a year in a country of 300 million people.

And there are only 11,000 murders a year. Are over 10% of them husbands or boyfriends killing their wives/girlfriends? Doubtful. That sounds like a feminist fantasy statistic.

[tarran]

That could be correct: most murder victims are killed by someone they know. And the most emotionally energetic relationship we have is the one with our spouse/significant other.

[John]

Yeah. It could be. But again, when you consider the size of the country, that is a pretty small number.

[Virginian]

Another thing they do is conflate "husband and boyfriend", as though husbands and boyfriends commit about the same numbers of domestic violence murders. When in reality, boyfriends commit the vast majority of these type of crimes. But that's another way for feminists to cloud the issue so there you go.

[John]

Yes, They other thing they never talk about is the propensity of boyfriends to molest children. The number one predictor of whether a child is going to be molested or not is if his or her parents are married. Amazingly enough, getting divorced and bringing a parade of men into your house might actually create some dangers to your children. But that doesn't fit the feminist narrative that there are never consequences to leaving your husband.

[Virginian]

Yep. If you were a pedophile, and not one of those angsty fucked up ones, but a cold blooded pedophile you would date single moms with young children, work as a teacher, volunteer with youth groups, etc. You wouldn't be staring through the playground fence in dirty trenchcoat, you'd be coaching the soccer team.

Not that pedophiles are statistically a huge threat to children, but it's certainly something a single mom should keep in mind.

[Brett L]

Some Russian immigrant wrote a book about this 50 years ago... Damned if I can recall the name, now.

/sarc

[WTF]

That sounds like a feminist fantasy statistic.

As is the "one in five women have been victims of rape." That would require a rape rate many times the documented rate in the worst neighborhoods of Detroit and Camden.

[thom]

Unless she initiates all contact, it's rape.

[WTF]

And even then, if the next day she wishes she hadn't, then also 'RAPE!'

[Emmerson Biggins]

don't forget about getting all the consent forms signed and notarized.

[thom]

If she's had a glass of wine or something those consent forms are meaningless. Additionally, she may be unable to consent because of disparity in class or age.

Basically all sex is rape. Deal with it.

[Eduard van Haalen]

Everything Obama supports is urgent and nonpartisan. Why do Republican obstructionists and wreckers delay and block all these nonpartisan, common-sense laws?

[crashland]

"We will draw upon the courage and skills of our sisters and daughters and moms, because women have proven under fire that they are ready for combat."

Women ready for combat and yet at the mercy of evil men at home... something. doesn't. compute.

[AuH2O]

So, last night at the stand up open mic I go to, one of the comics had a devastating line about the pope:

"He began as a Hitler Youth and ended up as a Sandusky adult."

[PowerBottom]

Hey if that joke bothers you, just do what Joe Paterno did and look the other way.

[AuH2O]

Leave the jokes to the more experienced unpaid amateurs, buddy!

[Drax the Destroyer]

It may have been a lie and undignified, but Paterno could have faked Alzheimers during that scouring of Penn State and possibly avoid some of the ire by transforming into a doddering old fool who thinks he's jumping between 1950-1960 in perpetuity. Meh, I guess people have to go down for fucking up. Market signals and all.

[John]

+100

[Eduard van Haalen]

He was conscripted into the Hitler Youth and deserted - a capital crime under National Socialist law.

As a cardinal, he was responsible for defrocking many abusive priests worldwide, learning about the scope of the problem before many others were willing to admit it.

Judging by the easy targets he picks, I doubt this comedian would have exactly been part of the anti-Nazi underground, which would have required too much courage. If he had a comedy show in the Nazi era, he would probably have denounced the Pope just like the National Socialists did.

[AuH2O]

Or you, could, y'know, be THAT guy...

[Eduard van Haalen]

The guy who is so obviously wrong that a rebuttal is unnecessary?

[SugarFree]

There is something pleasingly ironic--yet strangely appropriate--about a butthurt Catholic. All that early experience, I guess.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I'm going back to church tonight
Take me back when I was eight
But I don't mean to pray
I'm gonna nick the collection plate

I've got nothing against church
Or any people who go there and show there
Plain ignorant and don't understand
A congregation at weekends won't change their behavior
So many people are weak enough
To have to seek answers from peddlars of hope
I should know I used to go there myself
That's the day I became antipope

There's gonna be some fun tonight
Spreading news around the town
That the vicars are transvestites
With a fetish for robes and gowns

Religion doesn't mean a thing
Its just another way of being right wing
I think sex films are okay
I don't dig that pope no way

[Eduard van Haalen]

Sophisticated Pope-baiters used to portray the Catholic Church as a form of totalitarianism rivalling National Socialism and Communism. Then they decided to abandon historical plausibility and call the Church pro-Nazi, which is an inversion of the truth.

The sex scandals were a genuine opportunity for the Pope-baiters, but they ruined it by trying to link the Pope to the scandals rather than face up to the fact that he was one of the good guys in combating the scourge of abusive priests.

[Rasilio]

Does he have to cough when he does it?

[Matrix]

Sea slug mates with throwaway penis

I wonder if STEVE SMITH can relate.

[Jordan]

Close the morning links. We have a winner.

[Rich]

scrape out rivals' sperm while sidestepping the difficult removal of a penis covered in backward-pointed spines from their partners.

Wow. No wonder we need VAWA.

[fish]

We have another winner.

Looks like a photo finish!

[sarcasmic]

Where was Ted Nugent? The 64-year old rock star, who last cracked the charts with 1980's "Wango Tango," had been invited to the State of the Union as a guest of Texas Rep. Steve Stockman.

Apparently these people forget the abomination known as Damn Yankees.

[T]

"Mr. Nugent, do you think my skirt is too short?"

[The Late P Brooks]

This morning's Morning Joke driveby featured Amity Shlaes on book tour, talking about Coolidge. The usual gang of nodders were all so completely flummoxed by the notion of an American President who worked to reduce the size and scope of government (and undo the Great Works of Woodrow Wilson) they spent the time nattering about Coolidge's son, and the uproariously funny "You lose" anecdote.

The finest minds in political analysis. And, as always, Ms Fluffzinski doing her imitation of an organ grinder's monkey.

[Groovus Maximus]

Brooksie, I am still thankful you post your snarky wisdom and watching stuff that I am unable to view. I actually look forward to your periodic Mourning Joke updates. How you can stand that idiotic Pol'shika is beyond me. Her voice always wanted to make me gouge out my eyeballs and skullfuck myself.

[sloopyinca]

Washington: that state we're constantly told spammed about being some bastion of libertarian freedom where the cops are just swell and treat everybody just like the founders envisioned.

Well, everybody except the pregnant and handcuffed women they sexually assault after stopping them with no reasonable suspicion stalking them.

[sloopyinca]

By the way, the lady miscarried and the cop was given a paid vacation.

[Virginian]

God damn it sloop, I was having a pretty good day. Fucking cops.

[Drax the Destroyer]

This sounds like a good plot for an 80s-style revenge movie.

...the lady miscarried and the cop was given a paid vacation...in HELL!!!!

Cue explosions and pissed off woman firing a shotgun. Collect money.

[Jordan]

...the lady miscarried and the cop was given a paid vacation...in HELL!!!!

LOL. In that same vein, it really mystifies me how there are never revenge killings in any of these cases.

[Matrix]

We, as a society, have become pacified, especially when it comes to agents of the state.

[sarcasmic]

Because people know that if they do so they will be burned alive if they don't shoot themselves first.

[Zeb]

Probably because you would go to prison for murder if you are lucky and just get killed by the cops if not. It amazes me how many people seem to think that people will lose all reason and do something stupid which will ruin their life in the face of such awful situations.

[Jordan]

I don't think it's unreasonable to throw your life away in some of these situations. If a cop murdered my wife and got away with it, I'd strongly consider killing him and then myself.

[Zeb]

Yeah, I just don't understand that at all. I understand the impulse, but it just seems stupid and foolish. Killing they guy won't undo any of the bad that has already happened. I'd die to defend a loved one, but revenge after the fact won't make anything better for anyone. And if you had kids, or other people who cared about you, you would be harming them quite a bit as well if you went out that way. I stand by my contention that revenge never makes anything better. Perhaps it is justified sometimes, but it does no good.

[crashland]

But it wouldn't be simply revenge, it would be justice.

Killing the guy would prevent him from destroying more lives.

[crashland]

But it wouldn't be simply revenge, it would be justice.

Killing the guy would prevent him from destroying more lives.

[Virginian]

Honor isn't stupid, but it's not a rational calculus. Any man who did that my wife and the mother of my children would die. I'd plan it carefully, and I wouldn't get caught, but he would be dead. No matter what gang he runs with.

I wouldn't walk into the police station and shoot him, I wouldn't ambush his cruiser, but one night when he took the trash out, I'd be waiting. No torture, no dramatic speeches, none of that bullshit. Just shoot him with a suppressed .22 and walk away.

[Zeb]

But suppose you do get caught? It's not inconceivable. Then what happens to your kids? If you aren't on your own in the world, you have to consider more than honor.

[sarcasmic]

Most crimes of that sort are solved not by police work, but by tips.

It's not that difficult to plan a murder and get away with it as long as you keep your mouth shut afterwards.

[Zeb]

I'm sure. But there is still some risk. If you have kids, I say it is not a reasonable risk to take. Having your mother killed is bad enough. Later having your father go to prison (or worse) and ending up in foster care is not something you want to follow that with. If other people depend on you, you need to put that before honor.

[sarcasmic]

But there is still some risk.

Which can easily be minimized. You know you'll be a suspect, so you take precautionary steps. Leave the cell phone at home since you know they will get tracking data. Don't take toll roads with plate cameras or EZ-Pass that would log your location and time. Pick an ambush spot without video. Use a privately purchased weapon. Make damn sure you are capable of the deed or he'll grab your gun and shoot you with it. And most importantly KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

[Virginian]

This. Something like 90% of all murderers are caught because they told someone what they did.

[Drax the Destroyer]

I get what your saying Zeb, but if you amp up the hypothetical extreme to the point where somehow, through malice, the bastards eliminated one's entire family (wife and kids), violent, I don't see why violent suicidal revenge wouldn't be in order. Especially if the wronged went through the legal channels only to met with failure and financial destitution. Sometimes, mother fuckers have to die.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Eliminate that random "violent" showing up in the middle. Whoops.

[Zeb]

If you are alone in the world and have had your life destroyed by some pig (of the official sort or otherwise), go for it. I'll shed no tears and I'll say he got what he deserved. It just seems like a lot of people want to be the big tough guy, defending honor and all that without really thinking through.

The attachment to honor and revenge is a big part of why some parts of the world are seemingly permanently fucked up.

[sarcasmic]

There's nothing big and tough about sneaking up behind someone in the dark and putting a bullet into the back of their head. Especially since you will likely go to prison if you ever brag about it.

[Groovus Maximus]

By the way, the lady miscarried and the cop was given a paid vacation.

Sloop, I may have to filter you. After this one, I'm honestly not sure if I can take your posts on police crime anymore.

This one almost made me lose it (and I don't mean angry either).

[Zeb]

I don't see anything in the article about miscarriage. Is that from somewhere else.

And it is funny, and infuriating that the comments seem largely focused on the fact that she had had a glass of wine while pregnant. Give me a trucking break. FAS is terrible, but that happens when the mother gets drunk a lot, not when she has one drink occasionally.

[sloopyinca]

FTA (toward the bottom): Thompson contacted the Auburn Police Department and the officer was placed on paid administrative leave. The Puyallup Police Department is now conducting a criminal investigation.
"There have been no complaints like this before with this officer, and he's been with us for 4 to 5 years," said Auburn Police Commander Mike Hirman.
Thompson's fiance said she's been stressed out and depressed ever since the incident and she miscarried last week.

[Zeb]

Ah. Must have been skimming by the time I got to that part. I figured it would be mentioned in the lede. Fuckers.

[Matrix]

I thought that was one of the perks of the job... getting to sexually assault women. These men put their lives on the line every day, so they deserve to blow off a little steam. That includes shooting harmless dogs, too.

[Ted S.]

This only happened because VAWA hadn't yet been renewed to stop it.

[sloopyinca]

Cop already accused of raping three women goes for the box trifecta.

He's on an unpaid vacation.

[Dr. Frankenstein]

I thought Droit du seigneur was a myth.

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

He's in jail pending $50k in bail. If he got out he'd also be on unpaid vacation.

[Matrix]

4 Bama football players arrested for robbery

Mugged 2 guys and beat them savagely.

ROLL TURD ROLL!

[AuH2O]

Dear College Football:

Go fuck yourself, and your fucking idiotic realignment scheme, your lack of playoff, and your massive cost to universities. If the NFL wants a minor league, they can pay for it their goddamn selves.

Sincerely,
Every Single Fan of the Big East Conference

[KDN]

your fucking idiotic realignment scheme, your lack of playoff

This is the point where I must remind everyone that the former is completely the result of the latter.

The conferences were perfectly aligned for a 16-team playoff ten years ago (trust me, I look at them once a week because I refuse to stop playing NCAA Football 2003 on PS2). Instead we live in a world where Missouri is in the Southeast and Indiana is on the Atlantic coast.

[robc]

Every Single Fan of the Big East Conference

So no one signed it?

[Brett L]

The Big East picked up a lot of fans in GA after UL swatted UF.

[John]

The boys were just having a little fun. Things got out of hand. Were any of them starters? If not, maybe we should give them probation or something. If so, get those poor kids out of jail right now.

[Drake]

Maybe they thought the victims were a Div 1A team.

[Brett L]

Were the victims wearing Notre Dame shirts? Because they could have just been re-enacting their BCS Championship game.

[Ted S.]

Were they majoring in criminal justice?

[sloopyinca]

Police Resource Officer gets teenage girls to his house so he can ply them with alcohol and sexually assault one of them. The sexual assault charge doesn't stick, but he is charged once with providing alcohol to a minor.

Funny how one of the underage high-school girls knew the security code to his condo and knew where he kept his booze.

The officer in question has been getting a paid vacation since October.

[Drake]

I don't know exactly what a "Police Resource Officer" is, but the job sounds awesome.

[Kaptious Kristen]

It's like a police social worker. They're supposed to find community resources for addicts, domestic violence victims, child abuse victims, etc.

[sloopyinca]

They're the cops that are placed in schools.

[sloopyinca]

In other cop pederasty news a DARE officer gets in trouble for carrying on a relationship with a 15 year old child.

Yes, people. We are still told everyday that we need more police officers in schools for the safety of our children.

[John]

Looks to me like he is setting himself up for a run for Senator from New Jersey.

[Ted S.]

Another incident that only happened becasue VAWA hadn't been renewed.

[$park?]

Tale of a poor disaffected barista.

Watson said baristas are "probably an artist, overqualified, people with pretty much college education across the board."

The New Jersey native has a bachelor's degree in philosophy and moved to Seattle "following a girl."

He worked at All City Coffee to make ends meet while pursuing a career as a hip hop artist under the moniker "Spekulation." On his site, Watson has released several songs in which he raps.

Funny how the second two sections rule out pretty much any chance of the first section being true.

[AuH2O]

Hey! Everybody! Get a load of this fucking hipster!

[Brett L]

Fuck. I worked as a coffee shot puller in college. I wasn't a fucking barista, it wasn't my fucking calling. It was an easy fucking job down the street from my house that gave me plenty of time to study, with all the free coffee and pastries I could eat.

Also "college education" could be: I went to the local juco for a semester.

[R C Dean]

Watson said baristas are "probably

(1) an artist,

(2) overqualified,

(3) people with pretty much college education across the board."

One of these things is not like the others.

[Way Of The Crane]

The New Jersey native has a bachelor's degree in philosophy and moved to Seattle "following a girl."

What the hell do you do with a degree in philosophy?

And how does possessing one make you "overqualified" to be a barista?

[sloopyinca]

And how does possessing one make you "overqualified" to be a barista?

It doesn't. This hip-hop coffee-pourer is a fucking retard.

[nicole]

And how does possessing one make you "overqualified" to be a barista?

Oh come on. Do you think you need a degree to pull shots? That's $100k wasted, depending on the school, philosophy or not.

[db]

As a chemical engineer I have the skills to brew the perfect pot of coffee. And since I got my degree from a state school, I'd say it's a great investment to establish myself as a top barista.

[BakedPenguin]

"It's all about the quinic acid level..."

[Brett L]

I loved that scene. Because I like roasting and brewing coffee, and have definitely thought about creating some sort of contraption like that.

[db]

I should probably start watching that show.

[WTF]

The New Jersey native has a bachelor's degree in philosophy and moved to Seattle "following a girl."

Well, why doesn't he be an entrepeneur and open his own philosophy business?

[Brett L]

In fairness, he tried. It was his blog. And not only did he fail to make any money blogging, it also got him fired from his paying job.

[Dr. Frankenstein]

Call the business the Stand Up Philosopher.

[sloopyinca]

Oh, a bullshit artist.

[Groovus Maximus]

It is from this very movie that inspired my handle!!! I love this movie, History of the World, Part I, and should be required viewing for all.

[The Late P Brooks]

the OVW slogan on their website is (I'm not making this up) "The common law is the will of Mankind".

I keep reading this over and over, and every time it comes out as

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

[sloopyinca]

This one may be too much.

If you're a cop and you can't find a pregnant woman to grope or a teenage child to get drunk and sexually assault, then go for an even softer target: Beat the one year old baby you just found out is yours to death.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Jesus...that's...Sloopy...why can't you let me be obliviously content? WHY?! WHHHHYYYYYYY! PPOOOUUURQUUUUEEEEEE'!!!!

[Groovus Maximus]

That did it. I'm done for the day.

[sloopyinca]

One cop withholds evidence and a second illegally conducts interviews with witnesses in the trial of a 6 year old murder, causing a mistrial. They face no charges and one even gets a vacation for his troubles.

Hooray for equal protection!

[Jordan]

Serious question: how do you find all of these?

[John]

I think Sloopy is the greatest troll in the history of Police One. He is out there doing God's work.

[sloopyinca]

Honestly? I just look for them. And I gain no pleasure from posting the daily tidal wave of police abuse/criminality/double-standard. As a matter of fact, I hate the fact that it's really easy to find dozens of these articles every day.

[sarcasmic]

"I've never known about this 1-year-old," said Gray's friend Sharon Winter. "That's why when I heard it on the news, and they said it was his child, it shocked me because he never talked about this child.

...

"They are slandering his name. He loved kids -- he loved them," Winter said. "For him to be accused of killing a kid -- that's not so, and I know it's not true."

Am I the only one who sees a bit of a contradiction here?

[John]

So the facebook liberals are all up in arms about how horrible, disrespectful and dishonest Rubio's speech was. I didn't watch it. But I take it he gave a pretty truthful speech that did some damage to Big Daddy?

[T]

They'd rather talk about how he took a drink of water during it.

[AuH2O]

The disrespectful thing is the one that kills me. Elected officials are our employees, not the other way around. For all the attempts at banning the concept of nobility and privilege, we sure fucked up those ideals.

My biggest pet peeve of this sort of thing? The habit that news casters have of referring to politicians by their former honorific. Neither Mike Hukabee nor Sarah Palin should be referred to as "Governor" because they no longer hold that job.

[RBS]

+1 Trillion.

[John]

I hate that too. The title is not a lifetime title. It goes away when you leave office.

[db]

When people tell me I should be more respectful of elected officials I ask "why?" I have never received a satisfactory answer.

[Kant feel Pietzsche]

See: Kentucky Colonels...

[sarcasmic]

I'm sure they were just as upset when their side was disrespectful and dishonest about Boosh, right? AmIright?

[Mike M.]

Any respect at all shown towards this president is too much. He deserves nothing but abject contempt.

[A Mathematician]

At least nine civilians, mostly women and children, have been killed by an airstrike in Afghanistan

Single digits

[John]

And it is only 9. Just how many women and children? Is it that hard to give a number rather than a weasel word?

[T o n y]

Rubio's obviously running for president, and he has a good 3 years to get ready for prime time.

His biggest problem is the stale, trite, massively unpopular Republican ideas he's boxed into.

[sarcasmic]

Wah wah wah. Wah wah. Wah wah wah wah wah.

[T o n y]

Big fan of Rubio and other Republican politicians are you?

[fish]

Big fan of Rubio and other Republican politicians are you?

No just enjoying the relentless mockery of your continued defense of TEAM EVIL.

Actually after yesterdays embarrassing defeat at the hands of 23 year old "ziggy" I'm surprised your back for more so soon....I guess it's just the "pillow biter" in you that keeps bringing you back.

[fish]

Excuse me....you're.

[John]

Since the sock puppet talking points are to say how horrible it was, yes it must have been a good speech.

[T o n y]

Fine speech if we're grading on a curve, as in comparing it to similar speeches by Jindal, Daniels, Bachmann, etc. I guess relentless negativity and insipid antigovernment pablum still work for you. I'm just telling you it's not going to win national elections ever again all on its own. People see through the bullshit.

[Restoras]

It's a sock, people. If you don't respond it will stop showing up.

Try it, you might like it.

[T o n y]

Fat chance.

[Brett L]

For Warty, Michelle Jenneke SI Swimsuit Issue photoshoot.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Stop it or you'll break Warty!

[John]

She is a cutey

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Thank you for posting this.

[Eduard van Haalen]

Warty is sad that she can run so fast, otherwise she could be his girlfriend.

[The Late P Brooks]

I don't know exactly what a "Police Resource Officer" is, but the job sounds awesome.

As I understand it, the main function of this position is getting paid union cop wages to hang around a school staring at the little girls' (and/or boys') asses, and beating off in the faculty lounge. If you need a break from that, you can go o0ut in the parking lot and write "Minor in Possession" tickets to kids smoking cigarettes. If you're REALLY gung ho, you might find somebody to bust for possession of alcohol at the prom.

[Fatty Bolger]

I know somebody who did this for a while, and he said it's mostly about being pestered by school administrators to arrest kids for non-crimes. He only had to handle one truly serious incident, and it could have been dealt with by calling police instead of having somebody on campus all the time. He liked the kids, but the adults in charge drove him nuts. Other than that, it was an easy assignment.

[Brett L]

350lb prep running back to go to U Hawaii. Holy shit, its like watching the Fridge on the goal line but with 40 yard runs.

[Slammer]

His knees will never hold up

[Auric Demonocles]

I can't believe that he'll be able to make the cuts he needs to. He can't outrun/run over everyone in the NFL.

[John]

The Nigerian Nightmare Christian Okoye was six foot one 270 lbs and could run a legitimate sub 4.5 second forty. Watching him in the NFL was sometimes like watching an adult play football against children. The problem was he never cut or missed a single hit. He lasted six years. But they were a glorious six years.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

And then he ran into Steve Atwater:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yScioc_dmXg

[John]

He ran into a lot of people like that. And that hit hurt Atwater as much as it did Okoya.

[Auric Demonocles]

I'm pretty sure that clip violates the conservation of momentum.

[Brett L]

We could probably do the math on the force his legs had to generate to stop the guy dead. The short answer is "a shitton".

[Auric Demonocles]

The whole stadium slid 2 inches.

[db]

I think it's an impulse problem so the proper units are shtf*s (shitton-force*seconds)

[Kaptious Kristen]

My Pa saw him play once (live, I mean, not on TV) - he was blown away.

It's a shame that most RBs don't last very long. They're more exciting to watch than the best WRs.

[John]

They are. But the running backs who last are the shorter guys like Emmet Smith and Barry Sanders. People rarely got a clean shot on those guys. Big straight up and down runners like Okoya never last. Too many people get clean hits on them like the one Red Rocks linked to. Atwater would have grabbed air had he tried to hit Sanders like that.

[Auric Demonocles]

I like watching Danny Woodhead play because he's so short he ducks under most of the big hits (and often scrambles a couple more yards underneath it).

[Kaptious Kristen]

I'm just hoping the Vikings can find some decent players next season so they don't send AP into early retirement.

[sloopyinca]

PoliceOne commentators largely vilify anyone that questions the Torrance cops that opened fire on two old Mexican women driving a truck that did not meet the description of Dorner's.

Ex 1: Posted by Smeared1 on Monday, February 11, 2013 03:41 PM Pacific Report Abuse
"When do the shooters who fired on these two women go on trial for attempted murder, smeared"

Ever heard of intent colter??? The officers never intended to kill these women, in fact, didnt think they were women at all. Even if they had died, manslaughter would be the appropriate charge. As it is assault would not even fly in a court of law. Come on colter, you sound more interested in seeing two cops that made an honest (yet stupid) mistake strung up then seeing this coward POS Dorner strung up.

[sloopyinca]

Ex 2: Posted by joe319 on Monday, February 11, 2013 02:13 PM Pacific Report Abuse
***This incident of shooting up these people's truck, gives more credence to Dorner's claim. People across the WORLD are angered, upset, and mad. They are calling for the arrest for the officer's who did the shooting. This issue has done more to harm police, police officers, et al, then the Rodney King beating and everything else since. Dorner has basically won.***

Whose side are you on? Your comment sounds like you support Dorner? Do you even have an inkling of what lead up to the shooting? Did you even try and read the facts of this? Officers were guarding the home of one of the people on Dorner's list and see this truck matching the description coming up the road then turn its lights off and is driving on one side of the street to the other. Try for a moment to put yourself in the position of these officers who stop the truck and perhaps see the occupant bending over.

This was just an honest mistake and if YOU, dtowndpd or any other cop haters can't see the split second decision the officers had to make believing this was the same man who had opened fire without warning on 2 Riverside officers killing one, well then that's just too bad. Maybe you and dtowndpd should share your ESP and supercop ways with them!

BTW - even the women's attorney wasn't critical of the officers and just wants the city to do the right thing. What does that tell your narrow minds?

[Auric Demonocles]

I just want the city to do the right thing too, which is fire those cops and have them arrested and charged.

[John]

Officers were guarding the home of one of the people on Dorner's list and see this truck matching the description coming up the road then turn its lights off and is driving on one side of the street to the other.

So turning your lights on an off is a sign you intend to shoot someone? And lets not even talk about the fact that it was their job to take the risk of ensuring they got the right person.

These assholes really think they are in Afghanistan.

[Restoras]

Was their job. No longer - officer safety is paramaount even if it means innocent bystanders get shot.

Guess they shoulda - armed themselves?

[Auric Demonocles]

It's not just officer safety that is paramount. It's also officer feelings. They can't allowed to feel fear either.

[sarcasmic]

They are taught to start shooting the moment they feel fear, and to not worry about any consequences for their actions.

[Auric Demonocles]

Well of course not! They were scared, sarc, scared! Why would you want our brave heroes to have to live in fear?

It's not their fault they are all cowards.

[sloopyinca]

They are taught to start shooting the moment they feel fear, and to not worry about any consequences for their actions.

And they use this to defend their criminal actions on a regular basis. The terms "furtive movement," "moving toward his waistband" and "resembled a potential weapon" have become part and parcel of the training classes on how to fill out reports.

It's not about right and wrong anymore. It's about filling out the forms properly so they can get away with any behavior.

[sarcasmic]

It's about filling out the forms properly so they can get away with any behavior.

The few police reports I've read of things that I witnesses were fiction loosely based on fact.

[sarcasmic]

Here's an interesting essay from the point of view of someone who has first hand experience in investigating police misconduct.

http://thenewinquiry.com/essays/the-thin-blue-lie/

[sarcasmic]

Here's a quote:

I quickly came to realize that many officer interviews followed one of a handful of scripts, with troves of phrases to express and explain suspicion ("high-crime area," "furtive movements," "erratic behavior"), to justify an escalation of force (the "demeanor" of a "defendant" was "agitated," "belligerent," or "highly uncooperative;" people "resisted" by "flailing" their arms), and to establish probable cause for an arrest ("small objects" were "exchanged for U.S. currency" in a "hand-to-hand transaction").

[Cheradenine Zakalwe]

These assholes really think they are in Afghanistan.

That would violate ROE over there. But you also wouldn't be punished for it.

[John]

Ever heard of intent colter??? The officers never intended to kill these women,

Yeah, so if I shoot at sloopy trying to kill him and miss and hit and kill Warty, I am not guilty of murder?

It is called transferred intent you halfwit.

[fish]

.....and hit and kill Warty, I am not guilty of murder?

Nope! Valuable public service!

[R C Dean]

Property damage, at the most.

[fish]

I've heard that in many jurisdictions you can collect a bounty for the Warty pelt.

[Trespassers W]

I would stay away from the pelt. The parasites that it houses are sufficient to slay most men. Did you not see Cloverfield?

[Stormy Dragon]

In most states, if you were justified in shooting your intended target and missed, you're not criminally liable for hitting a bystander (although you can be held civilly liable).

[T]

I'm a little fuzzy one what legally qualifies as intent, but if you're doing mag dumps on somebody you sure as shit didn't intend for them to walk away from it.

[sloopyinca]

^^This^^ x1000.

But I'm sure they'll trot out pictures of the slain officers at the press conference where they announce there will be no charges against these officers or the ones that rammed and unloaded on another truck a few blocks away (and 10 minutes later!). That'll make any complaint "distasteful".

Of course, they can extract the $20M settlement from the taxpayers, so not even their budgets will get cut. And these officers will have received a sweet-ass months-long paid vacation for their attempted murder of somebody they couldn't even identify.

[R C Dean]

The officers never intended to kill these women,

It doesn't matter whether they intended to kill those particular women. It matters that they intended to kill whoever was in the truck.

"Accidentally" killing the wrong person is still murder. What matters is that you meant to kill someone. Ergo, attempting to kill someone and failing is attemped murder, even if you are so a total idiot that you emptied your piece at the wrong person.

[Auric Demonocles]

I recently had this same argument on an NFL board about the Ravens player shoving the ref in the Super Bowl and not getting fined (let alone ejected). People were arguing that he didn't intend to shove the ref, he intended to shove whoever was behind him... which turned out to be a ref.

[sloopyinca]

This is why I think any practicing attorney should be able to convene a grand jury and bring appropriate charges against an officer of the state. Give them all subpoena power and the ability to collect evidence and then hold them responsible for bringing any frivolous charges.

I assure you, it would make for some interesting cases making it to trial that are currently being swept under the rug during "internal investigations" or "disciplinary hearings".

Hell, an enterprising attorney could have brought Dorner up on charges of perjury or falsifying a police report when he accused his instructor of assault/excessive force. The truth would have come out at that trial and I'd be willing to bet you this situation would have played out differently, if at all.

[The Late P Brooks]

This was just an honest mistake and if YOU, dtowndpd or any other cop haters can't see the split second decision

I'm absolutely certain these guys apply the exact same test to the actions of Cory Maye and Ryan Frederick.

Fuck

the

pigs.

[brlfq]

Fuck

the

pigs.

Does that make you feel better?
I'm genuinely curious.

[The Late P Brooks]

even the women's attorney wasn't critical of the officers and just wants the city to do the right thing. What does that tell your narrow minds?

That tells me they hired a smart attorney. Let's wait and see how he treats those officers on the witness stand.

[R C Dean]

Bingo. No need to get on the wrong side of public opinion while this is still hot. Let it cool down, play the reasonable guy, and then string the courtroom with their intestines when it matters.

[Matrix]

Dad killed trying to protect 11 year old daughter from armed intruders

See, there are no legitimate reasons for people to own guns to defend their families.

[lap83]

I wonder what happens if a liberal's home is invaded. Do they utterly lack a protective instinct?

[Agammamon]

Of course they have a protective instinct - that's why they hold the kid in front of them.

[Eduard van Haalen]

"As a lifelong Democrat, controversial education reformer Michelle Rhee never thought she'd support school vouchers. Until she did. In Radical, she details her transformation."

http://www.thedailybeast.com/a.....paign=link

[Eduard van Haalen]

"Here's the question we Democrats need to ask ourselves: Are we beholden to the public school system at any cost, or are we beholden to the public school child at any cost?"

[db]

Neither.

[sarcasmic]

"High Enough" *barf* hit #3 *vomit* in the U.S. *puke*

[sarcasmic]

Dunno. Don't care. Off to the head. Gotta puke.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

At least the video has a cool moment--Nuge defiantly playing his guitar while the cops shoot at him. I imagine that's how sloopy would like to go out if he had the choice.

[John]

Reason should pay him to do it. Put out an annual report "The Year in Police Misconduct".

[sloopyinca]

"The Year in Police Misconduct Bigoted Responses To Justified Police Actions Based On The Fact Patterns As Presented".

FIFY!