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President Obama to Hang Out on Google, Defense Firm Developing Social Media Tracking, Prediction Software, NASA Plane Headed to Afghanistan: P.M. Links

Ed Krayewski | 2.11.2013 4:30 PM

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  • home studio
    White House

    President Obama wants to talk about his State of the Union address in a Google Hangout on Thursday.

  • The defense contractor Raytheon is developing software that can track people on social media networks and use data collected to predict future behavior.
  • A NASA communications plane is headed back to Afghanistan while U.S. military equipment is headed out of the country via land routes in Pakistan.
  • One of the people shot by police in their multijurisdictional hunt for ex-cop Christopher Dorner has called Torrence cops "violent and reckless" for shooting at and detaining him.
  • Teenage pregnancies are down through 2011, according to government statistics.
  • Hillary Clinton is reportedly already planning to write her next memoirs.
  • Allen Iverson's Atlanta home is apparently being foreclosed on.
  • Pepsi is rolling out a new Mountain Dew breakfast drink.

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NEXT: Pentagon Dumbs Down Stealth Fighter Requirements

Ed Krayewski is a former associate editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    Pepsi is rolling out a new Mountain Dew breakfast drink.

    If it's not called Xpresso I'll be very disappointed.

    1. Adam.   12 years ago

      I don't get it, pepsi already has a mountain dew breakfast drink. It's called mountain dew.

      1. Generic Stranger   12 years ago

        As much as I love Mountain Dew, even I would hesitate at drinking it for breakfast.

        1. Rhywun   12 years ago

          Me too - unless it was full of vodka like all the other Dew I drink.

  2. Alack   12 years ago

    Hillary Clinton is reportedly already planning to write her next memoirs.

    I can't wait to not read them.

    1. Tim   12 years ago

      "What Does It Matter At This Point? A Memoir by Hillary Clinton"

      1. el esc?ptico   12 years ago

        +1 internets

    2. DJF   12 years ago

      I am still waiting for her 'Cattle Futures For Dummy's" book

      Plus her cover song of Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man",

      1. John   12 years ago

        Her entire public career has consisted of taking the blame so the powerful men in her life can escape the consequences of their actions. She is a feminist icon I tell you.

  3. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    A NASA communications plane is headed back to Afghanistan...

    The agency's Muslim outreach taking flight.

  4. Jerry on the boat   12 years ago

    Hillary Clinton is reportedly already planning to write her next memoirs.

    What is this, Groundhog Day?

  5. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    So begins the zombie apocalypse: British man with rare Sars-like virus hospitalized in the UK.

    1. Sudden   12 years ago

      I believe it is the Rage Virus.

  6. R C Dean   12 years ago

    Or, Raytheon could just ask Facebook and Google for their social media tracking and prediction software.

    1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

      How many defense contractors does it take to email a request to Facebook?

      1. Alack   12 years ago

        As many as they can get the feds to pay for?

  7. Virginian   12 years ago

    http://www.washingtontimes.com.....lobal-war/

    For those who haven't seen it. The dumbest thing since "Guam could tip over".

  8. Mike M.   12 years ago

    Great googily moogily! (Not safe for work despite being on cnnsi.com)

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      If she's a chubby, I'm a chubby chaser.

      1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

        who would think that? that's insane.

        1. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

          She's not chubby, but she's a little thick. Still hot as hell, but a little thick.

          1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

            well, now i have an excuse to take another look.

        2. Brett L   12 years ago

          sarcasmic, for one.

          1. John   12 years ago

            Yes. I am accused of being some kind of deviant chubby chaser because I think Upton is a lot more attractive than some Hollywood skelator.

            1. tarran   12 years ago

              It didn't escape my notice that Sarcasmic started that energetic attack on your liking of meaty looking women about the time we were debating gay marriage and people were wondering why he was so bent out of shape and speculating about his being in the closet with Travolta and Tom Cruise.

              It's led me to wonder if he is kicking up a fuss so that people are focused on you and aren't questioning his heterosexualness given his taste for androgynous girls.

              1. Warty   12 years ago

                Ask him about the gay bar he used to hang out in.

              2. John   12 years ago

                I think his wife is super thin and he thinks I don't like thin women, which is not true, and is insulted by it.

                1. tarran   12 years ago

                  Dude, nobody defends his wife's honor so energetically yet obliquely.

                  I think it's far more important to him than just some stranger on the internet not being attracted to his wife.

                  Just sayin'

                  1. Mike M.   12 years ago

                    I agree that there's something pretty weird with sarcasmic. Any woman with more body fat than the typical Victoria's Secret runway model is "plus size" to this guy (in other words, about 99% of the women in modern western civilization).

    2. Warty   12 years ago

      She's gonna look like shit in 10 years, so we'd better MALE GAZE her as hard as possible while we can.

      1. Tim   12 years ago

        Teen pregnancies are down, I guess that restraining order is keeping you away from High School parking lots.

      2. John   12 years ago

        I bet she will still look good enough. And if someone gave you a Ferrari, would you really worry about the cost of replacing the belts?

        She will get a few nips and tucks and be just fine.

        1. Warty   12 years ago

          This is Kate Upton's present. This is Kate Upton's future. Do you see?

          1. John   12 years ago

            But she had her face mangled. I don't think Kate will do that.

          2. Brett L   12 years ago

            I see that being married to Steven Segal destroyed her.

          3. Tim   12 years ago

            This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps...

          4. Jack the Reaper   12 years ago

            Why did I click the link??! WHY!!?

            The signs were there for all to see...

      3. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

        "She's gonna look like shit in 10 years, so we'd better MALE GAZE her as hard as possible while we can."

        Well I am pleased to report that when I male gaze her, I get as hard as possible.

  9. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    ...has called Torrence cops "violent and reckless" for shooting at and detaining him.

    I hope he didn't get in line of sight of panicked LEO just to find that out.

    1. Matrix   12 years ago

      Officer safety is above all other concerns. He's lucky they didn't go to his home and shoot his dog, just to be sure.

  10. wakeup   12 years ago

    the Pope was forced out.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

      This better not be a Dan Brown link.

      1. Jerry on the boat   12 years ago

        I suspect Propaganda Due.

    2. Alack   12 years ago

      From Facebook: "Now that they are making more Star Wars movies he has to go back to playing the Emperor."

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        Winner. Close the thread.

    3. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

      The prophecy puts Pope Benedict's successor as a man named "Peter the Roman" who will be such a crappy pope that he'll destroy Rome and the Catholic church as a whole.

      And not a moment too soon.

      1. Dr. Frankenstein   12 years ago

        For those who haven't gotten enough end of the world specials on the History channel.

      2. Tim   12 years ago

        Peter, like the Peter on Family Guy?

  11. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    More barftastic SoTU news: Mother of Chicago singer shooting victim to attend address, sitting next to the First Lady.

    Sources say Obama to pitch 'investments' in speech.

    1. John   12 years ago

      Investment. You mean like all of those winning green energy investments in the last term?

      1. Alack   12 years ago

        Green energy AND education!Children are the future, and the Earth is where they'll live! Without both of those things preserved by wise investment, humanity is doom. Why do you want to doom humanity, John?

        1. Michael S. Langston   12 years ago

          Simpsons:

          Lisa: As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. How bad is it, Secretary Van Houten?

          Milhouse: [shows a chart] We're broke.

          Lisa: The country is broke? How can that be?

          Milhouse: Well, remember when the last administration decided to invest in our nation's children? Big mistake.

      2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        He's going to take all of the country's money and invest in Apple stock.

    2. Raston Bot   12 years ago

      no biggie. Stockman is bringing the Nuge.

  12. Coeus   12 years ago

    The tireless truth-seekers at feministe are trying to determine why there is Republican resistance to VAWA.

    Let's see what they've come up with:

    The Republicans who are holding up the legislation talk a big game about Constitutional issues, but they've held up VAWA before ? a year ago because it helped too many people, including gay and lesbian people and undocumented immigrants. They're hostile to VAWA, because it gives women what they believe to be outsized amounts of power to protect themselves.

    Swing and a miss.

    1. Virginian   12 years ago

      They're hostile to VAWA, because it gives women what they believe to be outsized amounts of power to protect themselves.

      ________

      The VAWA establishes nationwide concealed carry?

    2. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

      I admit that I haven't read all of Texas' laws regarding crimes of violence, but the ones I have read don't exclude women victims.

    3. Alack   12 years ago

      ERROR.CONSTITUTIONAL ISSUES ARE INVALID BASIS FOR OPPOSITION. DOES NOT FEMPUTE. MUST BE RETHUGLICAN RED HERRING. BLAME HATRED OF WOMEN. BEEP BOOP

      1. Dweebston   12 years ago

        You're no femputer!

  13. $park?   12 years ago

    Ron Paul says he owns his name.

    The Texas Republican and three-time presidential candidate filed the complaint Friday with an agency of the United Nations. He argues at length in his complaint that he should have the domain name -- as well as one for RonPaul.org -- for free because he already has a common law trademark on his name.

    Beyond his 14 years in national politics, Paul argues, his trademark is further burnished by his many books, being "widely quoted by scholars" and having the reputation as a "premier advocate for liberty in American politics."

    1. Alack   12 years ago

      Wait, he's petitioning the UN? Doesn't he hate their international super-government?

      1. robc   12 years ago

        Im opposed to Social Security, but I sure as hell will cash the checks (you know, if it still exists).

    2. Juice   12 years ago

      Hi name is ronpaul.com?

  14. Brett L   12 years ago

    What happens when you back the wrong guy in FL politics.

    Former Republican Party of Florida chairman Jim Greer pleaded guilty to theft and money laundering just before jury selection in his criminal trial got under way.

    Greer was Charlie Crist's buddy. No word on whether Charlie's ambulance chaser law firm was representing him.

    1. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

      Wasn't he also Jack Ryan's buddy?

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        This is white Jim Greer.

        1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

          You know, the grandpa from The Waltons.

  15. $park?   12 years ago

    Holy surprise, Batman! Let's find a new way to define things.

    A holy surprise will grab your attention. Holy surprises are the events and people which interrupt the expected plans of your day. When you live with awareness of them your own humanity is enriched and expanded. Will you choose to allow them to punctuate your day with their invitation to playful delight about life?

    For many people the work week, a job, family dynamics, a marriage or their own self-image is something to be endured. They have become so practiced at "survival" that the endurance seems normal when in fact it is life and spirit sapping. It serves no one for this to be your "reality."

    1. $park?   12 years ago

      In response to this, I think I'll make it a habit of only ever blaming God for every shitty thing that happens to me and never give credit for anything good.

      1. RBS   12 years ago

        Therapist: I thought you didn't believe in God?
        George: I do for the bad things

      2. NeonCat   12 years ago

        "We paid for this food so thanks for nothing."

  16. Fist of Etiquette   12 years ago

    The defense contractor Raytheon is developing software that can track people on social media networks and use data collected to predict future behavior.

    My teenage niece will do that for free.

  17. Restoras   12 years ago

    Who is Allen Iverson?

    1. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

      *Slaps Restoras*

      1. Restoras   12 years ago

        Pistols at dawn!

  18. Brett L   12 years ago

    Fuck you, Iran, our private citizens can launch Hello Kitty into space.

    Lauren and her father mounted small video cameras on their rocket-shaped gondola to record Hello Kitty's journey. The balloon reached an altitude of 93,625 feet

    Okay, well, way the fuck up there.

  19. Apatheist ?_??   12 years ago

    'Legitimate Media' needed to push for gun control.

    1. John   12 years ago

      To be very blunt with you, we're counting on all of you, the legitimate news media to cover these discussions because the truth is that times have changed," Biden added, warning that people would continue to "misrepresent" the White House's plans for gun control.

      They don't even try to hide or deny the fact that the media is an arm of the government anymore. Remember when "state run media" was something only paranoid wingnuts said?

      1. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

        I believe Axelrod said something similar after Obama got waxed in the first debate.

  20. John   12 years ago

    http://www.breitbart.com/Big-G.....id-scandal

    Wow I really feel for those underage Dominican prostitutes. Has there been an uglier pair of Johns?

    1. Restoras   12 years ago

      You and STEVE SMITH?

      1. John   12 years ago

        BURN

  21. John   12 years ago

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/hea.....z2KDdt2Flw

    Couples who drink together less likely to get divorced.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Just 5.8 per cent of couples who were lighter drinkers ended up splitting up from their long-term partners, according to the study from the Norwegian Institute of Public Health.
      ...
      When both husband and wife were heavy drinkers the divorce rate of the Norwegian couples was 17.2 per cent.

      So... heavy drinking by one or both partners correlates with an increased divorce rate of not less than 7.5% (Men heavy, women light 13.1%)

    2. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

      My wife needs to drink more.

  22. Proprietist   12 years ago

    Jesus, I didn't realize there was another guy not matching the Dorner profile at all that got shot at by cops...this just gets crazier every day. As much as I hate Dorner for killing innocents and want him brought to justice, the lulz of watching the police exhibit the depths of incompetence in the manhunt makes me hope it never ends.

    1. Brett L   12 years ago

      Frankly, if he had decided to shoot the police captain and not the guy's daughter and fiance, he'd be completely right. As it is, I think the negatives far outweigh the positives in this.

    2. John   12 years ago

      A Congress of angry baboons would have better fire discipline.

    3. Warty   12 years ago

      It's like watching Hitler vs. Stalin. I mean, you want Stalin to win, but you can't help but feel dirty about it.

      1. John   12 years ago

        My hope is that he died in the Sierras and his body will never be found. That way he won't kill anyone else and justice is served but these retards will be deprived of the pleasure of getting their man.

        1. Warty   12 years ago

          Plus, then he'll have a cult following among retarded leftist wannabe revolutionaries. It will be a good litmus test for retardation, kind of like Free Mumia was 10-15 years ago.

          1. John   12 years ago

            Yeah. Double bonus.

          2. Juice   12 years ago

            10-15 years ago? What you think the Free Mumia people ever gave up?

    4. DRM   12 years ago

      As much as I hate Dorner for killing innocents and want him brought to justice,

      Me, I really would like a better source than the LAPD for the claim Dorner killed anybody, before I start hating him or calling for him to be brought to justice.

      And given the bullet spraying demonstrated so far, I'd like to see any evidence the police want him to be brought to justice, rather than being a conveniently silent corpse.

  23. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    I honestly find it boring to hate on Lena Dunham, so I will admit that I"m genuinely intrigued by this Jezebel article about the most recent episode where she has a fling with a much more conventionally attractive man.

    1. John   12 years ago

      So I guess she has ran out of ideas for her show and has decided to go for straight wish fulfillment?

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        More like, following most women's natural emotional growth, she decided to stop dating hipsters and start dating men who shower regularly because they go to work.

      2. A Serious Man   12 years ago

        To me the absurdity isn't that someone homely like her can get an attractive man, it's that someone with such an ugly personality to boot could get one.

        I saw the first few episodes of season 1 and found these people so repulsive that I didn't want to watch anymore, they're the kind of people you'd actively try to avoid in real life.

        1. John   12 years ago

          In fairness, there are about a million shows and movies where some fat schmuck dates or is married to some unbelievably hot woman. So I guess reversing it for once isn't so bad. If Jim Belushi can be shown married to Cortney Thorne Smith, why can't Lena Dunham pretend she could sleep with someone normal?

          1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

            They show that kind of dynamic all the time in beer commercials were the average looking guy has a really hot girlfriend and he treats her like shit by valuing the beer over her (haha).

            Those commercials always piss me off, so yeah, I do concede that Dunham reversing the dynamic is interesting which is why I think it isn't a bad discussion.

            1. John   12 years ago

              Beer commercials are an insult to the entire human race.

              1. robc   12 years ago

                Not all of them:

                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xkukToHdjM

                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTsWOzD_zhA

                1. robc   12 years ago

                  And my favorite:

                  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQXIMWsYr7Y

                  1. Agammamon   12 years ago

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pK5HmuCMBM

                2. John   12 years ago

                  If those are the Dos X commercials about the most interesting man in the world, you are correct Rob.

                  1. robc   12 years ago

                    Breckenridge Brewery commercials. One of them is a XX parody.

            2. Sudden   12 years ago

              They show that kind of dynamic all the time in beer commercials were the average looking guy has a really hot girlfriend and he treats her like shit by valuing the beer over her (haha).

              And the way that an average man, in looks, wealth, and social skills, gets a woman hotter than him is precisely by treating a can of shitty beer as more important than her. Women want to forever chase their man.

              However, the reverse role with Lena Dunham getting an attractive guy is absolute lies and ugly chick pron. Men value one thing exclusively: hotness. Needless to say, Lena Dunham is anything but hot.

        2. RBS   12 years ago

          I was flipping channels and caught a little bit of one episode a couple of weeks ago. The part I saw was some girl not enjoying sex while the guy apparently had to look at some doll to get off or something.

          1. Restoras   12 years ago

            Well, if the dude was banging Lena he'd have to imagine he was with Barbie, right?

    2. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

      I watched this (first time ever). It was okay. Not great. Just okay.

      1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

        It had its moments, but not enough to hold my interest. I certainly don't understand why the media and the awards show slober over it compared to say 'Veep' which is by far the funniest comedy on HBO.

        1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

          Veep also get far greater viewership numbers.

          But it doesn't Deal With The Real Issues.

        2. Juice   12 years ago

          You really think so? I sat through multiple episodes of Veep waiting for the funny part and it never happened. I tell you that show was terrible.

    3. Warty   12 years ago

      I wanted to see naked fat chicks with bad personalities, I'd go to one of the truck stop strip clubs around here.

      1. John   12 years ago

        If you would ever put dollar bills rather than food stamps and IOUs in their g-strings, they might be nicer to you.

      2. Brett L   12 years ago

        Heh. Reminds me of a friend in some club in... can't remember, I think it was Dothan AL, but it may have been the time we took our buddy to the sketchy one on I-75 by Alachua. Anyhow, chick comes out and has a nasty c-section scar and was probably an A or B cup before the kid. Anyhow, our buddy shouts, "I'll give you 20 bucks to put your clothes back on!" She was pissed. But yeah, that's when we decided it wasn't fun anymore.

        1. NoVAHockey   12 years ago

          A stripper in upstate NY lactated on my friend. it was awkward for everyone and we left shortly thereafter.

          1. Restoras   12 years ago

            Junction?

        2. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

          the sketchy one on I-75 by Alachua

          That would be Caf? Risque. Not that I've been there or anything.*

          *Actually, I haven't. But as a native Floridian who has traveled that stretch of road no less than many hundreds of times, I've heard and made dozens of jokes about it.

          1. SugarFree   12 years ago

            Ever seen the Deja Vu on the north side of Lexington? So skeevy, I won't go in there even if I was wearing a Haz-Mat suit.

            It's sign has boasted "Hottest Day Shift In Town" for years.

            1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

              Seen it.

              But even if I liked strip clubs (I never really did like them that much), I would not go to Deja Vu. I can see colonies of the ickies coming and going.

          2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

            They must have fifty billboards or more.

          3. Brett L   12 years ago

            Yeah. Do. Not. Go. We thought it would be a funny bachelor party trip. Not enough liquor in the world to wash my brain clean.

            1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

              Why not come down a little further to Tampa? We got the sleaze you needs.

              1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

                I have been to Mons Venus. The double friction was excellent.

                1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

                  Aliens from space come to Tampa to visit our strip clubs.

      3. John   12 years ago

        Also, if you would stop going to the one your mom works at, you probably would have better luck.

  24. Rich   12 years ago

    Selected participants "who regularly discuss important issues of the day online" will take part in the video chat with the president and ask questions

    Why do Warty and SugarFree get to have *all* the fun?

    1. Warty   12 years ago

      Because we do our kegel exercises.

      1. SugarFree   12 years ago

        My mangina could crush a beer can.

    2. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

      Since when is "have we taken Obama far enough down our throats" an "important issue of the day"?

  25. John   12 years ago

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....z2KbtDt63L

    Even Elton John cannot resist the siren call of Katy Perry's boobs. They are a force of nature.

    1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

      That is a well-shaped whore.

    2. Warty   12 years ago

      Women: is John Mayer attractive? Because he sure looks goofy as fuck to me, and skinny to boot. I think I would like to harm him with my fists.

      1. RBS   12 years ago

        He also plays guitar and has a ton of money.

        1. Warty   12 years ago

          SHUT UP YOU

          1. John   12 years ago

            Do you doubt the power of money and a guitar?

            Really?

            http://www.examiner.com/articl.....lationship

            1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

              I have vowed to do my son the favor of getting him guitar lessons young. I figured that the ability to play guitar and nothing else is good for at least one fuck in his life. I will take the credit for that.

              1. Brett L   12 years ago

                My son is doing ballet lessons 'til he's 16. At that point he can hate me or not, but he'll have grown up with all the dancers. If he's not gay, he'll be swimming in tail.

                1. Mickey Rat   12 years ago

                  That's a interesting variation on "A Boy Named Sue".

          2. RBS   12 years ago

            My wife has yet to give me a good explanation for women being attracted to scrawny little guys so I can only assume it's money.

      2. BuSab Agent   12 years ago

        No. He has a definite the lights are on but nobody's home expression.

    3. Rich   12 years ago

      Even Elton John cannot resist the siren call of Katy Perry's boobs.

      Wow, doing kegel exercises is truly amazing!

    4. Francisco d Anconia   12 years ago

      Why is it okay for a lesbian (Ellen) to stare, but I can't?

      1. BuSab Agent   12 years ago

        teh MALE gaze duh

    5. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      I see fun won Best New Artist. Considering the fate of most of those winners, here's hoping they disappear inside of 3 years.

      1. RBS   12 years ago

        Who?

        1. SugarFree   12 years ago

          Think of that song that's been on every show and movie trailer for the last year that you hate so much. It's probably fun.

      2. Brandon   12 years ago

        So I watched the last few minutes of the Grammys, and I have a question: Is the guy who sang the Forrest Gump song real? I thought he was a really bad Sacha Baron Cohen ripoff, but nobody seemed to be even politely laughing. And he got actual applause. Can someone clear that up for me? Is that a real song? Is that a real guy? Because even if it was real, fuck, it was terrible.

        1. Rhywun   12 years ago

          What does it matter at this point?

  26. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Pro Libertate? New Twitter account about Florida Man, the lede used in various news stories about Florida's finest citizens.

    1. John   12 years ago

      Does he wear a toga? Is he amassing an army of serviles to attack Georgia?

      1. Brett L   12 years ago

        A friend suggested his outfit should be mismatched camo and flip-flops. I think this would be perfect.

        1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

          Camo tanktop.

      2. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

        You remembered the serviles--I'm touched.

      3. Trespassers W   12 years ago

        You misspelled "ur-viles". Typical John.

        1. Pro Libertate   12 years ago

          "Serviles" is the registered trademark of a new business employing pythons as service pets service reptiles), guiding the blind and other disabled people through city streets and businesses.

          1. BuSab Agent   12 years ago

            Who in their right mind would trust a damn reptile with anything important? Having owned many reptiles (iguana, turtle and multiple snakes), they are the only creatures more self serving, murderous, and apathetic than cats. At least cats are pleasant to pet (rather than interesting) and lull you into a false sense of trust with the purring.

    2. Trespassers W   12 years ago

      The Florida Man exists, and he is American.

      (PS It's Jimmy Buffett.)

  27. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

    What Kind of Guy Does a Girl Who Looks Like Lena Dunham 'Deserve'?

    On last night's episode of Girls, Hannah had a two-day fling with a conventionally gorgeous, wealthy doctor (Patrick Wilson) who was so into her that he begged her to spend time with him in his equally gorgeous brownstone eating steaks, drinking wine, and playing topless ping pong?and he didn't seem grossed out at all by her body. Imagine that!

    No, I'd really rather not.

    1. Jordan   12 years ago

      Paging barfman.

    2. Red Rocks Rockin   12 years ago

      So basically, this show is an updated version of the fantasy of the high school geek fucking super models while the VAPID JOCKS UGH end up working part-time at the car wash.

      No wonder fem-tards love it, since in real life no man with that level of success and emotional stability would ever lower himself to be with them.

      1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

        Pretty much exactly this. Amusing, considering all the hate that feminists toss in the general direction of nerds for their unrealistic views on the fairer sex (not all of it undeserved, to be fair).

      2. Scarcity   12 years ago

        No, it's not like that at all. She writes her own character as an utterly selfish, miserable, immature, cruel jerk. And basically every other character on the show, except for maybe Adam, who is most but not all of those things.

        So not everybody's cup of tea, but not at all what you're thinking.

        1. Scarcity   12 years ago

          Honestly I see it much more as a generally misanthropic - or at least mis-20something-anthropic, show than anything feminist. Rather up the general HnR sense of humor alley, really.

    3. MJGreen   12 years ago

      Yes, we can imagine plenty of things. That's why it's fiction.

    4. OldMexican   12 years ago

      Imagine that!

      As a matter of mental stability and for the sake of living a happy life, I normally avoid imagining things that I know will make my dick shrink and tuck inside my body.

  28. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

    Teenage pregnancies are down through 2011, according to government statistics.

    You're welcome, I did my part in keeping this number down. Have you guys stopped impregnating teenagers?

    1. John   12 years ago

      I have put myself on a strict two a year limit.

    2. Alack   12 years ago

      Not until they stop being so damn fertile.

      1. Warty   12 years ago

        Is it my imagination, or are teenage girls sluttier than ever now? Going to a mall or some other place where there are a bunch of them is the equivalent of being around a bunch of female cats in heat. "FUCK ME! FUCK ME! FUUUUUUCK MEEEEEE!"

        1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

          Yes, yes they are.

        2. RBS   12 years ago

          Pretty much. I was working a big high school dinner/dance thing over the weekend and that is basically the vibe I got from the girls. The guys for the most part didn't seem to pick up on it. Maybe I'm just creepy married guy with a kid at this point though.

          1. Warty   12 years ago

            Youth is wasted on the young.

            1. robc   12 years ago

              ^^^THIS

              1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

                It wasn't that long ago that I was in high school. At the time it didn't seem like the girls were slutty or wanted to bang at all. Now they certainly seem to be. Looking back, I'm pretty sure they were then too but I just didn't realize it.

                1. Alack   12 years ago

                  Looking back, I'm pretty sure they were then too but I just didn't realize it.

                  Pretty sure this is it. Might be related to the historical norm of men having sex with women several years younger than themselves.

                  1. Coeus   12 years ago

                    I can always tell the underage chicks. They're the ones that are always eye-fucking me at the mall.

                2. Fluffy   12 years ago

                  Meh, I'd chalk this phenomenon up to the fact that we're outside the social environment looking into it.

                  I'm sure high school girls were slutty way back in the Stone Age when I went to high school. It's just that if they saw ME coming, they would very quickly downshift out of slut mode in order to be sure I wouldn't do something horrible like talk to them.

                  They don't bother to downshift like that when loser middle aged guy is walking down the street, because we're so utterly invisible to them (when we aren't grabbing them and throwing them into car trunks) that we don't matter.

                  What's happening is that you're seeing high school girls send out the normal signals they send out to non-loser guys. If you didn't see those signals when you were in high school, it's because you were a loser, so when you were around, they didn't send them.

                  1. Auric Demonocles   12 years ago

                    Fluffy, I also think this is a reasonable theory (in opposition to "I just didn't realize what was happening), though I'm not a middle aged guy yet. I'm just enough older than them to bring out the maximum slut vibes from the ones who will give them off. However, there are a lot of signals that I can think back to having seen, but not recognized at the time.

                    1. Virginian   12 years ago

                      Yeah, girls like older guys. I'm almost 24, and I'm having a good deal of success with 18,19, and 20 year olds right now.

                    2. Brandon   12 years ago

                      I graduated in '02, and girls in high school were plenty slutty. It wasn't all that great, really, because no one had anywhere to go, most of them thought blowjobs were dirty even if sex was fine, and you were always worried about getting a late night phone call from some crying chick who just took a pregnancy test. It wasn't until college, with dorm rooms, no parents and on-campus birth control availability that sex really got good. I still feel I dodged a couple of bullets in high school, though.

                  2. Coeus   12 years ago

                    What's happening is that you're seeing high school girls send out the normal signals they send out to non-loser guys. If you didn't see those signals when you were in high school, it's because you were a loser, so when you were around, they didn't send them.

                    A plausible theory, but one which seems to have no place for the fact they're staring directly at me and pushing up the girls and licking their lips.

                    I have another theory. I think they know exactly what they're doing, and they do it because it's "safe". They know they will very likely not be pressured to follow up on the flirting, and they like exercising that sexual power. College-aged chicks don't act that nakedly sexual towards me, even the ones who are interested.

                    1. RBS   12 years ago

                      I'm with Coeus on this one.

          2. A Serious Man   12 years ago

            It's pretty well-known that the girls at college parties that put out are either 18-year old freshmen or high schoolers.

        3. Restoras   12 years ago

          Yes, sluttier than ever and gettign sluttier every day, bless their slutty hearts.

        4. lap83   12 years ago

          As a female who went to high school in the 90s, I think teenage girls are much sluttier now than they were back then. I mainly base that on clothing and Chris Rock's joke about the "whore uniform". Sluttier dressing = sluttier period.

          1. lap83   12 years ago

            oops sorry I meant Chappelle

          2. Juice   12 years ago

            Weren't the late 80s and early 90s all about bare midriffs and ass cheeks hanging out? At least with the non-grunge/goth chicks?

    3. robc   12 years ago

      I have kept my teenage impregnation rate at a constant level, neither increasing it nor decreasing it.

    4. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      In today's fast-paced dog-eat-dog corporate world, there's just no time for a man to slow down and go back to the basics -- wolf-whistling at girls from construction sites and impregnating barely-legal jailbait without your wife finding out.

      If things continue as they are, China or maybe India will be number one in teenage pregancies -- do we really want that? I propose a government-chartered education and ad campaign targeting at-risk communities to educate them as to the signs of jailbait and strategies for impregnation.

  29. Somalian Road Corporation   12 years ago

    So is sarcastically blaming Obama for things totally unrelated to him the hot new catchphrase or something? E.g. "my toast is burned? Fucking Obama."

    As far as I can tell this is used to mean something like, "stupid old white Republicans say things about keeping government hands off their Medicare and Kenyan birth certificate conspiracies, therefore in order to maintain this feeling of smug superiority I'm going to keep sharp focus on mocking them and not on how the President claims the ability to assassinate American citizens with zero due process and indulges in warmongering/drug-warring/etc."

    I can't decide if that or "check your privilege" is the most obnoxious neologism I can't seem to get away from.

    1. Warty   12 years ago

      check your privilege

      What is this supposed to mean?

      1. A Serious Man   12 years ago

        You're white and have a penis, ergo you can't criticize women or minorities because they haven't had the same 'advantages' as you and should concede to their arguments.

        1. Alack   12 years ago

          So it's a codified Ad Hominem?

          1. Coeus   12 years ago

            So it's a codified Ad Hominem?

            Best definition I've seen so far.

          2. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

            So it's a codified Ad Hominem?

            This is exactly right.

        2. Rich   12 years ago

          "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

          "Check your privilege", indeed.

      2. Raston Bot   12 years ago

        white male oppressor.

        so basically a compliment.

    2. Night Elf Mohawk   12 years ago

      "First world problem" seems worse to me.

      1. Somalian Road Corporation   12 years ago

        Ugh I hate that too. Basically "yeah I know I shouldn't be complaining when there are children starving in Africa but I'm going to do it anyways while verbally genuflecting to keep my moral high ground."

  30. Coeus   12 years ago

    More on the on-going feminist takeover of the atheism movement.

    There was this group of, again, very vocal angry troll-like people that did some really awful things to me in real life ? that sort of thing that you usually only see online I was actually face to face with. I had people wearing t-shirts saying that they were not a skepchick, people making fake jewelry that I make that said things on it like 'you should be embarrassed.' There's this really crazy undercurrent of othering that I had never experienced before and it was really upsetting and I ended up leaving the event a day early.

    Read the rest, it's crazy. And for bringing it to people's attention, they managed to get him kicked out of the mainstream atheist movement.

    1. Jordan   12 years ago

      "undercurrent of othering"

      LOL. What a pussy.

    2. Gladstone   12 years ago

      Aren't leftist or feminist free thinkers an oxymoron?

      1. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

        Only if you equate free thinking with atheism.

    3. Warty   12 years ago

      If I wanted to go to meetings where I talked about religion, I would join a church.

      1. Coeus   12 years ago

        I agree. I ain't pimping the movement, just making fun of the idiots.

      2. BakedPenguin   12 years ago

        "It's all the same boring crap! No matter where you go!"

      3. SugarFree   12 years ago

        I vaguely know a guy who is really into atheist church. And makes a pained face every time I refer to it as "atheist church."

        1. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

          "Atheist church" -- hope you don't mind if I steal that.

          BTW, what do evangelical atheists do at those things, anyways? Sing hymns about how we're all going to be worm food? Preach for an hour from the Book of Dawkins? Eat the flesh of Bertrand Russell and drink of his blood every month?

          1. SugarFree   12 years ago

            It's just a social club, with a bitch session thrown in. They don't seem to do anything formal, from what he says. Fuck it, can't you people just go bowling or to a bar like normal people?

            1. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

              So you'd rather have atheists go to your bar to argue about religion rather than doing it someplace else by themselves?

          2. Stormy Dragon   12 years ago

            Atheists Ain't Got No Songs:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFWA1A9XFi8

    4. Rich   12 years ago

      undercurrent of othering

      Nice band name.

      1. jesse.in.mb   12 years ago

        Somebody get a hipster to turn it into a tumblr account!

    5. The Immaculate Trouser   12 years ago

      Most of the "skeptic" and "atheist" community has a marked propensity to appropriate the most primordial religious impulses for their own use.

      In the case of feminists, the esteem and fear in which patriarchy is held is downright talismanic.

    6. Mickey Rat   12 years ago

      Was that written in English?

  31. A Serious Man   12 years ago

    Teenage pregnancies are down through 2011, according to government statistics.

    You know studies have shown that when you hug your children you boost their self-esteem and self-confidence and they're more likely to be happier in life and more successful.

    So dads, if you see me hugging your teenage daughter I'm only trying to help.

    1. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

      A Serious Man, doing God's work in some of the worst neighborhoods.

  32. Enough About Palin   12 years ago

    Best. Tat. Ever.

    http://images.beautyriot.com/p.....os-011.jpg

    1. mad libertarian guy   12 years ago

      Not nearly as awesome as this beauty.

    2. Rhywun   12 years ago

      Can't. Unsee.

  33. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    My NPR station is going through its pledge drive. Simultaneously, it's been broadcasting stories about Sam Tanenhaus' original and creative theory that Republicans are a white party going back to Jim Crow, and an investigative report about whether swordfish certified "sustainable" are accurately labelled, given the killing of blue sharks by Canadian swordfish fishermen.

    1. Kreel Sarloo   12 years ago

      What, no mention of Republicans wanting to legalize rape?

    2. Coeus   12 years ago

      Simultaneously, it's been broadcasting stories about Sam Tanenhaus' original and creative theory that Republicans are a white party going back to Jim Crow,

      Gotta love all the creative bullshit going into that theory.

      We see it too in continuing challenges to "Obamacare," even after it was validated by the Roberts Court. And we see it as well in Senator Rand Paul's promise to "nullify anything the president does" to impose new gun controls. Each is presented not as a practical attempt to find a better answer, but as a "Constitutional" demand for restoration of the nation to its hallowed prior self. It is not a coincidence that the resurgence of nullification is happening while our first African American president is in office.

  34. Eduard van Haalen   12 years ago

    Two free-expression stories reported in Volokh.com -

    Attempted Assassination of Critic of Islam in Denmark

    http://www.volokh.com/2013/02/.....n-denmark/

    [Arizona bill:] Crime to Create a "Hostile Environment" That "Substantially Interferes" with Person's "Psychological Well-Being" Based on Race, Religion, Sex, Etc.?

    http://www.volokh.com/2013/02/.....n-sex-etc/

    1. Coeus   12 years ago

      Damn. From the last link:

      Note that this is not limited to speech said to a person, but could cover speech about a person ? for instance, harsh attacks on a politician, community leader, academic, journalist, and the like based on the person's religion, wealth, sexual orientation, and the like. And though the bill is being marketed as protecting children, it is not at all limited to speech about children. Indeed, the speech is not on its face limited to speech about any particular individual, and might cover offensive speech about groups as well, though it would be bad enough even if it were limited to speech about a particular person.

  35. Coeus   12 years ago

    The austerity is real This article has a few issues, but here's the real whopper:

    Both outlays and receipts are, as a share of GDP, below pre-crisis levels.

    Unbelievable bullshit. That's such an easy lie to check on, too.

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