A.M. Links: Paul Ryan Blames Loss on Bad Communication, NYPD Deploys Gun Scanners, Dogs Descended From Trash-Picking Wolves

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  1. The NYPD has adopted portable scanning devices to detect whether people are carrying firearms or other metallic objects.

    Wake me when they can detect salt content and trans fats.

    1. But won’t this take the fun and surprise out of stop and frisk policies?

      1. If they know the person is armed then it gives them an excuse to point their gun at the person’s head and watch the guy squirm as he’s given a lecture about how the kind officers took the job in hopes of killing dirt bags just like him.

      2. In theory it guts the justification for stopping and frisking if you can just not-stop and scan. And yet somehow I don’t think that will make much difference…

    2. They could probably train pigs (actual ones, not proverbial ones) to do that, but it’d piss off PETA.

      1. They already have horses and dogs. PETA’s already pissed.

      2. but it’d piss off PETA.

        (Motivational surge.)
        I wonder where I could learn to train pigs…

        1. Old MacDonald’s?

    3. “We still have a number of trials to run before we can determine how best to deploy this technology,” Kelly said. “We’re also talking to our legal staff about this. But we’re very pleased with the progress we’ve made over the past year.”

      Ah yes, that small detail called the legal staff.

      1. “the legal staff.”

        Also known as the Rubber Stamp Department.

    4. Do you eat salt and/or trans fats? I’m not surprised you’re in a coma.

      1. No transfats to speak of, but a good bit of salt. You need more salt on a low carb diet. Why?

        1. You’d make a terrible mayor of New York City.

          1. Yes, I would!

            I would make a terrible mayor of anywhere.

            “Mayor Deathcult, the teachers are striking!”
            “Nice to know! Get the school board checkbook, then let’s go down to the high school and see which honor roll students want to make $20/hour. “

      1. What else are you supposed to wear in the tanning bed?

        1. Tanning beds? Aren’t they prohibited by the PPACA?

          1. Not prohibidado, but they are taxed an extra 10-15% I believe.

    5. The cops don’t care about that. They just want that Batman total surveillance thingy.

    6. Good thing the vast majority of people don’t carry small metallic objects like keys with them on a daily basis.

      1. I’ll start carrying a foil-wrapped cucumber. For the lulz.

        1. And so the CIA can’t beam thoughts to it.

          1. If you want the cucumber in your pants to be brainwashed by the CIA, I don’t think Bardas is the crazy one here, Fisto.

            1. I just can’t have my cucumber involved in an ineffective plot to kill a Latin American dictator. I can’t afford the legal bills.

        2. I bet you could convince a lot of hipster doofuses to start doing that. That would be hilarious.

          1. I was asking my wife about this last night and we didn’t really come up with a satisfactory answer. Should the plural of doofus be doofi?

            1. I usually shorten it to doofs.

              1. We would also have accepted “Democrats”, “Republicans”, or “politicans”.

            2. The -ii plural is only used for the Latin -ius ending (e.g. radius – radii). This seems more the Greek -us ending, in which case the proper plural would be doofodes.

      2. I hope an undercover cop winds up in the hospital from a miscommunication over this. They just don’t expect to be treated like little people under any circumstances.

        1. Or an off duty cop. Don’t they usually carry their service weapon. Don’t black cops go off duty and do regular things in regular clothes? There’s too many black cops for this to work.

  2. Paul Ryan says the GOP lost the 2012 presidential race because of poor communications and ineffective voter turnout and not because of lousy ideas.

    Why does reason so hate to admit the very large factors of cult of personality and free government shit?

    1. Well not starting a cult of personality, and not focusing on how much free shit you plan to give out are horrible ideas if you want to be elected.

    2. For a magazine called reason (drank), they seem to… assume that people are approaching politics by comparing competing ideas logically?

    3. Paul Ryan writes for Reason now?

      1. At one time, a few years back, it sure did feel like they were kissing Ryan’s butt.

        1. To be fair, he did sound like a real fiscal conservative at one point. Then he decided he’d rather climb the ranks than promote effective policies none of his colleagues would buy into.

          1. That’s a sound point though Kempites are all Big Gov huggy bears, hence why I never trusted him, he was dancing to the right tune there for a while.

    4. Why does reason so hate to admit the very large factors of cult of personality and free government shit?

      Yeah. It’s not like reason ran a few pieces of cult of personality madness on inauguration day or anything.

      1. TOO LATE. I wanted a pre-election, “forty-seven percent”-style bombardment. That’s it, now I blame reason for the outcome of the election. JUST LIKE IN 2008.

        1. Well everyone knows those Koch brothers and their mouthpieces are the ones controlling the country…

        2. They cost Ron Paul the nomination!

  3. Re: Dogs

    Ummm…duh?

    I thought that was the long running standard theory.

    1. Yeah, seems obvious. It certainly wasn’t the wolves that tried to eat their children.

      1. Especially since dogs and wolves can interbreed, it should be obvious. Remember the wolf / husky hybrid craze a decade ago?

        1. Wolves, dogs, and coyotes can all interbreed.

        2. At the time there were no (domestic) dogs (canis lupus familiaris) only wolves (canis lupus lupus).

          All members of a genus can interbreed with one another; which IIRC is what makes a genus a genus. So dogs, wolves and coyotes (canis latrans) can interbreed with each other, but not with foxes (vulpes vulpes) who are members of the canidae family but not the genus canis.

          (Yes, Dr. GM, I fail at biology forevah!)

          1. Not this time.-) A+

          2. All members of a genus can interbreed with one another; which IIRC is what makes a genus a genus.

            No, only members of a SPECIES can interbreed with each other and produce fertile offspring. If they are members of a different species but the same genus, then they can’t interbreed successfully.

            That is why donkeys and horses are different species — interbreeding produces sterile mules.

            1. More precisely, dogs and wolves are both canis lupus subspecies (canis lupus familiarus are dogs, canis lupus lupus are wolves).

              Coyotes are listed as a separate species (canis latrans), but the fact that they can interbreed with dogs and wolves and produce fertile offspring indicates that they are in fact a subspecies of canis lupus that have been mislabeled, and should be called something like canis lupus latrans.

              If alleged separate species can interbreed and produce fertile offspring, then there is nothing genetically to stop the two from interbreeding so thoroughly that the two can’t be told apart, and just form a continuum of animals more or less wolflike or doglike or coyotelike in this example.

    2. I thought Prometheus gave humans dogs when he was going out of town once and his sister was busy and couldn’t watch them and you do not board a fucking show dog with papers and then he just never came back to pick them up.

      But yeah, I’m pretty sure I figured the whole wolf/human scraps theory out on my own as a child using deductive reasoning.

  4. Scientists say domestic dogs may have evolved from wolves who took a liking to human’s leftovers and hung around camps to dig through the trash.

    There was a NOVA show about this a good 10 years ago.

    1. Hell, I read it in The Source or some other Michener book like a thousand years ago.

      1. Ray Coppinger’s book Dogs came out in 2001. He was among the first to bring this theory to the public consciousness.

        1. I don’t understand. Coppinger’s book would not have been a revelation to me back then. What was the predominant theory prior to 2001 then?

          1. Perhaps separate evolution without human interference?

          2. That humans adopted wolves as pets, which doesn’t make much sense given that resources were so scarce and humans and wolves would have been in competition and not yet in a position to cooperate with one another.

            1. The exact mechanism is, and must necessarily remain, speculatory, since this happened in pre-literate times. Unless someone finds a cave painting of wolves being domesticated (and still subject to interpretation).

              Having said that it was probably a long (many generational) process.

            2. I imagine that during the times when resources were genuinely scarce that wolves weren’t welcome. But these groups would have generated a small surplus (of garbage if nothing else) that wolves could have taken advantage of.

              1. If the wolves could be used to produce services that were valued more than the food they consumed (as guard dogs, for example, or used in war) then the wolves would be welcome.

        2. I think you can find it in folktales that long predate written language and science.

          1. Of dubious value since anyone in the long chain of the tales’ retelling can insert/alter/delete/edit.

    2. That NOVA was fascinating. When they showed how fast foxes could be domesticated (be selecting for human friendly individuals) and how it changed their appearance I was stunned.

      The obvious conclusion – we were domesticated the same way (selection for individuals who could live in large groups), and it had the same effect – smaller, weaker bodies and brains, dramatic changes in skin and hair color.

      1. STEVE SMITH REFUTE THIS – NOT SMALLER AND WEAKER, HAS PLENTY BODY HAIR!

        1. we were domesticated

          STEVE SMITH is no “we”, he is a “they” or “them” or “What was that noise?”

      2. Except, of course, that humans have gotten bigger.

        Apes are not dogs.

        And anyone who believes that humans have been domesticated is insane.

    3. Speaking of NOVA, there was a new episode yesterday about drones, how they work, and their operators. I wanted to watch but the TV got stuck with American Idol and the remote was all the way on the other couch.

    4. The important thing in this paper was that gene adaptions were found in the dog genome for processing starches.

      John Hawks has a nice breakdown.

      1. Huh. Fascinating as always, PS.

  5. Scientists say domestic dogs may have evolved from wolves who took a liking to human’s leftovers and hung around camps to dig through the trash.

    Maybe wolves evolved from domestic dogs too good to eat from the trash.

    1. Everyone knows that wolves were created when a wolfwere bit a werewolf.

      1. Man-bat!

        1. Bat Boy!!

          1. Manimal!!!

  6. The NYPD has adopted portable scanning devices to detect whether people are carrying firearms or other metallic objects.

    Time to start experimenting with that 3D printer again.

    1. When a highschool near me started using metal detectors the kids started wearing all kinds of metal. Studded belts, aluminum foil (not that it showed up) book covers, the works. They tried everything. It worked. They broke the lease on the machines and took them out.

  7. Zooey Deschanel throws like a girl.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-Girl.html

    1. You leave Zooey alone.

      1. She’s welcome to eat crackers in my bunk any time, but if I’m going to go for an imaginary girl, it’s gonna be Gemma Arterton.

        1. She is just adorable. She is not a classic beauty. But she has cute and sexy down to a science.

          1. She has annoying and grating down to a science.

        2. I don’t know why everyone but me hates Zooey.

          1. Thats fine, you are improving my odds.

          2. Because she has only one schtick and its way past its sell-by date. Shit that’s cute when you’re in your mid 20’s is just fucking annoying in a 33 year old.

            Its the same with Pauley Perrete on “NCIS” – She’s well over 40 now and the perky goth lolita shit ain’t flying.

        3. Gemma Arterton

          Why do I remember her as a redhead?

          1. She dyed her hair for Quantum of Solace.

            1. Ah. I can’t keep up with Hollywood who’s who anymore. Or maybe I never could.

              1. Ah, *she’s* the poor girl starring in “Hansel and Gretel”.

                Ah well, two more prominsing carreers down the toilet.

        4. Oh, so you like six-fingered chicks. Whatever floats your boat man.

      2. She’s way to skinny for you.

        1. She is fat for you. She has hips and thighs. She weighs over a hundred pounds. That makes her a porker in sarcasmic land.

          1. She doesn’t have huge tits and a fat ass. Definitely a tranny in John land.

    2. Im calling dibs, even if she does have Death Cab cooties.

      1. Is that worse than Dashboard Conjunctivitis?

        1. No.

          Dashboard Confessional is terribly annoying. DCfC actually made 2 or 3 outstanding albums in the late 90s early aughts. Dashboard Confessional is just a whiny white guy with a guitar who’s a pussy but thinks he’s edgy with his whiny punk-like style.

          1. DCFC actually has a few good songs. Dashboard Confessional is just as you describe them. Unlisenable, you can feel the testosterone draining from your body as the song plays.

          2. So Dashboard is like Coheed and Cambria, then?

            1. Pretty much.

              1. No.

                CaC actually has outstanding musicians and good songwriting skills. They’re a good band.

                It’s the singer who’s annoying as all fuck.

          3. We Have The Facts And We’re Voting Yes

            Transatlanticism

            Two of the best albums of the aughts.

            1. The Photo Album and Transatlanticism are exceptionally good.

            2. And then it’s downhill from Plans on.

    3. I don’t often put down other women, but c’mon.

      1. She deserves the eyeroll not because she can’t throw, but because she’s pretending she’s never seen a football before.

        1. For me it’s all the trying-too-hard-to-be-quirky shit she does. She needs to just fucking relax.

          1. THIS IS WHY THERE ARE NO WOMEN LIBERTARIANS!

            Actually that probably applies to the comment I chose to make.

            1. insert a not in that last sentence somewhere.

          2. Yeah, I’d say pretending you don’t know what a ball is is definitely trying too hard to be quirky. Like that whole fucking iPhone commercial. Or at least I think it’s an iPhone commercial.

            1. I thought it was a commercial for soup.

          3. ME-OWWW! Down girls, down.

            1. It’s funny how quickly the claws come out.

              1. Wasn’t the first claw sarcasmic’s?

              2. You don’t work with a lot of women, do you?

                Medical (particularly nursing) is female dominated (physician ratio is prolly 52:48 now), and it is from that experience, particularly being the only male on staff at a nursing home before I entered med school, that taught me the most about wimminz. Undergrad taught me a lot about social stuff, but in a working enviroment? Pffft!

                I learned VERY quickly to dread the third week of every month, as it was (verbally speaking) open season on me.-)

          4. Yeah, ’cause nowadays I have to wonder if she’s not a little bit retarded.

        2. “Getch’er goddamn elbow up! Next time yer elbow is below yer ear you’ll be running laps!”

          Or at least, that’s how I learned to throw like a man.

        3. No, it’s because that outfit is horrendous.

      2. I can’t agree more. The quirky isn’t cute. It is overdone with the social skills of an ass burger. Grates my last nerve that one does.

    4. MEh….

  8. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..od-by.html
    Guards watch inmate commit suicide. Nothing else happens.

    1. Were they Libertarians watching him commit suicide becuase they think he should be able to on principle?

      1. Were they Libertarians watching him commit suicide becuase they think he should be able to on principle?

        You’re such a sexist.

      2. Her.

      3. “libertarian” not “Libertarian”.

    2. They let her exercise her free choice.

    3. In this case, nothing else should have happened.

    4. Yeah, I’m actually on the guards’ side here.

  9. Scientists say domestic dogs may have evolved from wolves who took a liking to human’s leftovers and hung around camps to dig through the trash.

    I thought only animals littered.

    1. Native American tear ducts evolved from that.

  10. Julia Stiles.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..movie.html

    1. David was sporting a black suit with white checked shirt and matching pocket square for the premiere.

      Haha! What a douche. Your pocket square and your shirt should never be the same pattern. Also, don’t wear matching tie/pocket square combos either. Who the hell dressed this clown?

      1. If anyone finds EDG’s man-card, please mail it back to him pronto!

      2. True dat! It’s sad that it’s rare to see a truly well dressed man come out of Hollywood anymore these days. And wear a goddamn tie to a red carpet premiere. I’m sick of the douche bag grunge look on wealthy people in formal occasions.

    2. Julia Stiles? Is she something other than a fat-faced chic now?

        1. I have much better…-))))

          (And no, I will never stop boasting of the smartest and most bee-yoo-tee-ful woman in UKR.)

      1. You may well be aware of this already, but there’s something wrong with you.

        1. This is his ideal woman.
          http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-suit.html
          Yeah, there’s something wrong with him.

        2. Hey, if you’re into flat chested women with large faces more power to ya. I’m not gonna judge.

          1. Also, maybe it’s just that dress, but it looks like she has no figure. 30-30-30 are not attractive dimensions for a woman.

            1. attractive measurements…

            2. The problem is, she actually doesn’t have a figure.

      2. She looks good in the movie. But yes, she is weirdly puffy in the rest of the pictures.

    3. Sadly, few women have grown less attractive to me as she has. She was smoking 15 years ago. Now, meh.

    4. If she’s going to to that gain she should keep her back to the wall at all times.

      That is not an attractive ensemble from the rear.

  11. Airline passengers felt threatened by shirt with quote from ‘The Princess Bride’
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ating.html

    1. Well as long as they didn’t kill his father, they have nothing to worry about, right?

      1. I don’t know, even innocent polydactyls may have reason to worry.

        1. Ugueth Urbina, like all 6 fingered men, was a murderer (attempted, at least).

          Speaking of which, his wiki page says he was released in December. Any teams in need of a 39 year old killer closer?

          1. And I realize I just confused Urbina with Antonio Alfonseca. Not on the murder part, but the 6 finger part.

            Stupid alliterative relief pitchers.

            I have no idea if Alfonseca has committed or attempted murder, but based on the polydactyly, I would have to guess yes.

            1. And to tie things together from upthread, Gemma Arterton was born with polydactyly. Two polydactyls in one thread! Hooray!

              1. So the thread is polypolydactyl?

      2. His father was the dead guy from Orient Express, so its possible a large number of his murderers where on the plane.

        1. THPOILER ALERT!

          1. Its a sled.

            Ned Stark dies.

            Luke and Leia commit incest.

            That guy was fighting himself.

            Bilbo makes it home.

            1. No all limps are for real.

            2. It was a man

              Bruce Willis was dead the whole time

              Morgan Freeman had the missing kid

              Soylent Green is people

            3. They’re all on Earth in the future.

              It was a hidden commune deep in the PA woods.

              The spaceship was actually crashed in the ocean on the new planet.

              1. The mutants were members of the crew who woke up earlier and evolved within the confines of the spaceship.

                1. The alien is in the shuttle with her.

            4. Bruce Willis is dead the whole time.

              1. Baked,

                Like a Steeler defending on a Tebow to Thomas slant pattern, you are too slow.

                That is never going to get old, btw.

                The Planet of the Apes is Earth.

                1. The Planet of the Apes is Earth.

                  You’re too slow too! Booyah!

                  1. You’re too slow too! Booyah!

                    I didnt realize he was making a PotA reference. That could have been a dozen different movies.

                    1. Also, my slowness didnt lead to me losing a bet.

                    2. Also, also, Im pretty sure that is an obscure instance of joez law.

                2. robc: this won’t get old, either. Here’s some music for you while you read that.

                  1. 2 of the last 3.

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZNZASvxuHc

                    Indian giving?

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqLZxquKglc

                    I was sitting right on the goal line, camera side.

              2. Bruce Willis is dead the whole time.

                Way to ruin Die Hard, jerkface.

              3. Fail!

            5. Verbal Kint is Keyser Soze. It’s been over a decade. Fuck you.

              1. It’s been over a decade. Fuck you.

                This was my argument on the Ned Stark one. Sure, the TV show is new, but the book was 15+ years old, if you didnt know already, fuck you.

                Note: I havent read any of the books either.

                1. That one should be non controversial at this point. Now to ruin the Red Wedding! Poor Tyrion and Sansa!

                2. Gee I thought it was that Ned Stark was played by Sean Bean ergo that meant he was gonna die at some point in the series.

                  1. Yes he was killed by orcs.

              2. It’s been over a decade. Fuck you.

                Closer to two.

            6. He wasn’t actually who he thought he was. False memories of a hired merc who killed his wife.

              1. He already killed the real John G years ago.

            7. Here’s a challenge: how do you spoil the ending of Lost?

              Oh, and: “It’s a cook book!”.

            8. Jesus comes back to life three days later.

    2. Seriously though, what is so appealing about The Princess Bride as a movie? It doesn’t strike me as having the outright comedy aspect of a Monty Python flick, but doesn’t take itself quite as seriously as the cult hit Donnie Darko. Is it because it lies somewhere in the middle there that it remains so popular?

      1. It is quotable, and chicks did it, unlike Monty Python, so that doubles its potential fan base.

        1. Yep, chicks dig it. If you can quote from it, you are already half way there.

      2. It’s funny with a lot of quotable lines.

      3. It’s just a cute and fun movie – no deeper meaning.

      4. Errr… well I don’t see any connexion at all with Donnie Darko, but I’d say that it maintains Python’s lightheartedness, but adds a bit more coherence and plot.

        Plus: fencing galore and Andre the Giant.

        1. Oh okay. I wasn’t saying it was anything like Donnie Darko, just that I understand the fanbase for that movie more. But apparently I underestimated the funny in this movie.

        2. And Columbo!

          1. Just one more thing…

            1. +1 rumpled raincoat

      5. I love the movie, but can we all agree that Buttercup is thoroughly useless?

        Wesley deserves better.

        1. Buttercup is pretty silly and useless. I also hate the frame story with Fred Savage and Peter Falk. Why is that necessary at all? Otherwise, I like it a lot.

          1. The framing story works much better in the book than in the movie.

            1. S. Morgenstern hates you all. May you all meet ROUS’es in a dark, dark corner.

              1. Rodents of unusual size? I don’t think they exist.

          2. Provides for a plausible reason for narration.

          1. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence.

        2. She’s not really a female heroine to be emulated or admired, like Trinity, that’s for sure.

          1. (should it be “unlike Trinity”? I’m trying to say Trinity is awesome)

        3. It’s an affectionate parody of the fantasy adventure genre. Her general uselessness is part of the parody.

      6. It has more action than My Dinner With Andre.

    3. Why do we all have to give in the the lowest common denominator anymore? Since when do the most sensitive among us get to set the rules? If anyone felt threatened by a t-shirt, they probably have bigger problems, and they can always choose not to fly on that flight. We need to stop giving in to such nonsense and tell them to (man/woman) up or fuck off.

      1. But commenter “Lynn” (if that is her real name) is afraid of flying but does so because she wants to see the world. She feels threatened by the shirt because she’s a fucking retard she hasn’t seen the movie and it’s not helping her deal with her fear of flying in a metal tube at 500 mph 30,000 feet above the earth. And t-shirts are scary! Have you no compassion for the irrational fears of idiots?

        1. fucking html fails. damnit. my kingdom for a Preview button.

  12. Flintstones! Meet the Flintstones!
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-home.html

  13. Joe Biden is reportedly very hot and bothered over the idea of making a presidential run in 2016

    This is what the dual crises of Global Warming and Sexting have wrought?

    1. I hate the thought of who Biden is going to pick as VP as his insurance policy.

      1. Ima say Nancy Pelosi.

      2. I look forward to the media freaking out about his age and health and just how close his VP is to the Presidency.

      3. Do you think he doubles down on dumb and goes with someone even crazier? Al Franken? Chucky Schumer?

        Or is he told he needs to bring somebody relevant/acceptable back into the fold like Mitt tried to do with Paul Ryan?

        1. It is Joe Biden. Figure out what the dumbest most offensive and bizarre option is and bet on that.

          My guess would be Elizabeth Warren.

        2. My guess is Cory Booker or Julian Castro. They are def. positioning themselves for 2020, and I don’t think that the Dems will be able to run an All-White ticket for quite some time.

          1. But Booker has gotten very cross with the unions. Castro is probably the better bet.

            1. He probably can’t tell them apart anyways. They’re both so clean and well-spoken.

          2. I don’t think that the Dems will be able to run an All-White ticket for quite some time.

            IDK, maybe if it’s a woman or a homosexual.

          3. I don’t think that the Dems will be able to run an All-White ticket for quite some time.

            That’s why john suggested Elizabeth Warren. Duh.

        3. Or he could pull a Russia and make Obama his VP pick.

    2. Biden will have the entire Obama mafia behind him. My guess is he stands a pretty good chance of stealing the nomination. Watching liberals forced to pretend Biden is anything but an idiot should be funny. They really do like to abuse their supporters.

      1. Don’t count out the GOP picking the worst possible candidate. They have a knack for that.

        1. Just out of curiosity, who do we think is the GOP’s worst possible (i.e. plausibly nominated) candidate for 2016?

          Mitch McConnell?

          1. I would not be shocked if they decided it was Santorum’s “turn”. That’s how they seem to operate these days – whoever is next in line.

            1. If the third parties can’t cash in on a Biden vs. Santorum horrorfest, then they should just admit they have no chance and give up.

              1. I’ve voted Libertarian every presidential election since I turned 18, but seriously if the GOP nominates Santorum, I’m voting for Biden.

          2. Ricky Santorum? They have sort of worked through all of their country club establishment losers.

            1. Santorum/McConnell 2016
              Vote For Us or You’re a FAG!

              1. The near guffaw that that comment elicited would have made everyone in my office space come running.

            2. Chris Christie all the way. I can already hear Ann Coulter and the NRO guys singing his praises. Blech!

              1. Chris Christie all the way.

                Yes, I can hardly weight for him to toss his bulk into the presidential political sphere.

                I hate that fat fuck.

    3. A Chernenko for the modern day.

    4. Goddamit. I was on this yesterday.

      1. Yes, but nobody likes you.

        1. I wouldn’t say nobody, Sparky.-)

          **smells patchouli odour**

          1. OK, nobody good likes him.

  14. North Korea plans another long-range missile test…

    Is someone compensating, Kim Jong-unhung? Maybe, just a little?

    1. Do you think it’s a coincidence that Kim Jong-Un has quietly been purging all Wangs from Korea?

  15. Scientists say domestic dogs may have evolved from wolves who took a liking to human’s leftovers and hung around camps to dig through the trash. Evidence from the Tuccille household supports this hypothesis.

    Since this is old news, I’m assuming this research was government funded.

  16. So I saw Dredd last night.

    I don’t remember what reason‘s own Kurt “Lock’n” Loder or Das S?dermensch thought of it, but I liked it quite a bit. More than anything, it reminded me of The Raid: Redemption in that it takes place entirely in a giantic skyscraper filled with gangsters and very rarely stops to take a breath.

    The film-makers didn’t spend much time developing their characters, but the small touches that they chose were effective. Dredd himself remains, appropriately, helmeted for the entire film and they make almost no effort to get inside of his head. This leaves him as blank to the audience as he is to his coworkers and victims, which I felt was a smart choice.

    I do think that they could have done a bit more with developing the side-cast or raising the stakes of the combat through injuries, etc. The Raid: Redemption showed that it’s possible to build a lot of sympathy for characters even in a 90-minute 90 mph action film.

    Honorable mention goes to Olivia Thirby (a.k.a. the BFF from Juno) for transitioning very well to an action role. I would love to see her cast as a FemShep in the inevitable Mass Effect movie.
    Also Lena Headey (a.k.a. The Sarah Connor Chronicles’ Sarah Connor) was a great villain. Very convincing as a creepy mob-boss. Sort of the post apocalyptic version of Lucy Liu’s character in Kill Bill.

    1. I may check this out now based on your review. I was initially turned off for the same reason I don’t want to see Gangster Squad (aside from the HORRIBLE title): I see too much of cops abusing their power or taking the law into their own hands in real life that I find it difficult to watch it in a movie.

      1. Yeah, the movie really doesn’t make Dredd the central character as much as Olivia Thirby. It certainly doesn’t do much hand-wringing over the concept of Dredd. It portrays him as a Lawful Good who abides by a strict legal code, but his callousness and rage is contrasted with Thirby’s compassion in pursuit of the same goal.

        1. I’d say lawful neutral. He will uphold the law and assign penalties according to legal precedent and doesn’t really care about mitigating circumstances.

          Its Thirlby’s character (who is supposed to be Judge Anderson – a fairly major character in the continuity) who shows any empathy for the people caught in the crossfire.

    2. I read Suderman’s review and wondered why he was talking about Sylvester Stallone.

      1. C’mon, seriously, is no one gonna hit this? Don’t leave me hanging!

        1. C’mon, seriously, is no one gonna hit this?

          Err, we’re not that kind of chatroom, buddy.

            1. We can be. Free minds, free markets, and free love.

              1. According to Shreek, there are no more free minds here.

                1. This is like the worst cat room ever!

        2. +1 Shovel of Bad Movie Reviews.

    3. Why did you refuse to italicize Kill Bill?

      I enjoyed The Raid: Redemption but couldn’t stop calling it “Raid: The Redemption”. Because I AM THE LAW.

      1. Err… darn. Where’s that edit feature, squirrels?!

        The Raid: Redemption was one of the two best action movies I saw last year (Ip Man being the other). The director’s other film (starring the same guy too) was a super-cheesy kung-fu flick. The sort that has Danes starring as American baddies with terrible accents.

    4. Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised when I watched Dredd. It’s a very solid action flick.

    5. I liked it buuuut . . .

      THe whole setup that got them locked down was dumb. The know there’s an organized criminal gang that has de-facto control of the tower. Instead of withdrawing, calling in reinforcements, and taking the tower apart level by level, room by room with overwhelming force (kinda the point of being part of a fascistic government machine) they wander up and bust a crack den and *accidently* nab an important guy – who they don’t even know is important.

      This one-on-one “I am the law!” crap works well on the street but when shit is important, the brownshirts stopm heads as a team.

      On the other hand it was suitably gritty, I like how Dredd isn’t monomaniacal about pursueing lawbreakers (Anderson calls him off of taking in a bum while they’re on their way to investigate a triple homocide).

      And Olivia Thirlby looks hot as hell in armor.

      1. Oh, and she does a good job portraying “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this job or even if I want it” at the beginning and transforms into misson-focused bad-arse by the end.

  17. Burglar kills family dog in series of break ins

    So just so I can keep the scoring straight: man commits crime, like burglary, and kills a family dog = doubly bad

    man commits crime, like breaking into a house without a warrant, and kills family dog = unfortunate mistake

    1. What do you mean mistake. It’s unfortunate, but procedures were followed to the letter, you fucking peasant.

    2. Man, that’s one sick fuck. Killing a dog is one thing, but over a “series of break-ins?” That’s just cruel to drag it out.

  18. http://thehill.com/blogs/floor…..-liability

    House Democrats propose opening gun makers to civil liability. But they are not going to take anyone’s gun, just make it impossible to manufacture one.
    Then there is this.

    On Wednesday, Schiff introduced a separate bill that would create a new, two-year sentence for “straw purchasers” of firearms, or people who are buying weapons for people who cannot pass a background check.

    Do they plan to call this “Holder’s Law”?

    1. “On Wednesday, Schiff introduced a separate bill that would create a new, two-year sentence for ‘straw purchasers’ of firearms”

      Talk about being unworthy of a proud family name.

    1. In Warty’s case, it’s probably very appropriate to call it a crush.

  19. Prime Minister David Cameron wants the body to target businesses that arrange their affairs to escape high taxes.

    Wasn’t he the poncy bugger who offered to take in France’s tax retreaters?

    1. Ironic, ain’t it?

      Hard to believe a politician could have double standards.

    2. Cheeky bastard!

  20. Maybe old news, but Memphis Cop Caught Having Sex in Squad Car After Act Is Broadcast Over His Radio

    …the Memphis police officer was caught having sex in his squad car after the act was somehow inadvertently broadcast over his police radio.

    I can’t wait to hear the police union’s defense of this guy… (eyeroll)

    1. Without actually clicking the link, just by looking at the url, I can see the story is dated 3/19/2012. Yeah, it’s old news.

      1. I think I just heard about it again because the woman has filed a lawsuit against him/the department. Guess I should’ve posted that story.

        1. Guess I should’ve posted that story.

          There is only one rule: THERE ARE NO RULES!

    2. I can’t wait to hear the police union’s defense of this guy… (eyeroll)

      With all the overtime that this hardworking hero was putting in to protect and serve the citizens of Memphis, he was owed a few minutes of respite. The fact that he was doing it in his squad car shows his dedication to his profession, and he did it with the radio on so that his fellow officers would know exactly when he was finished and back on duty.

      It makes such perfect sense that it’s bullet proof.

  21. Science says men are liars: Sex with a condom feels just as good.

    So, were there no male scientists in the room… or what?

    1. Yeah, no it doesn’t.

      1. Men are liars. But sex with a condom does not feel just as good.

        1. Frankly, unless you are a teenager it almost isn’t worth it.

          1. Yeah this.

            The last time I had to use a condom I had to fake a friggin orgasm cause it wasn’t gonna happen.

    2. Yeah, I’m not buying that?but Jezebel is even though it was funded by condom-makers? Give me a fucking break, people.

      1. And the study doesn’t even seem to say what they are claiming. Just that sex with a condom isn’t terrible.

        1. It’s not.-)

          1. I agree. Condoms are a great thing, where appropriate. But it is still better without, generally speaking.

            1. Plus, condoms and blow jobs do not mix.

              1. And that’s why God created dental dams.

                :ew:

                1. Could there be a less sexy term than dental dam?

                  1. Could there be a less sexy term than dental dam?

                    Female condoms, vagina dentata, and those cooch “bear traps” (which should be selling like hot cakes in India about now).

                    Also, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

                  2. I’m trying to think of one and…not really.

            2. If you and your partner are 100% disease free, she’s on BC (IUD’s FTW!) and monogomous, then you bet your sweet bippy it *feels* better without.

              “better” =/= “safer”. Some cooties don’t wash off with soap and water, Zeb. That’s my point and I’ll leave it alone now.-)))

              1. (IUD’s FTW!)

                Word.

                Some cooties don’t wash off with soap and water, Zeb.

                Hence “condoms are a great thing”.

      2. Have you ever seen Jezebel deal with studies? The need for confirmation bias is insanely strong over there.

        1. Oh yes, for sure. Seeing this one back-to-back with last night’s complaints about the NAACP and corporate “blackwashing” (I seriously can’t believe they’ve gone there) just put it in high relief. Corporations give money to people I like who then say something I disagree with? BAD! Corporations give money to people I neither like nor dislike who then say something I agree with? AWESOME!

    3. In my experience, women seem to pretty universally agree that sex is better without a condom.

      1. unless they are neat freaks!

        1. Haha. When I was younger it was a surprisingly long time before any of my female friends had sex without a condom, and they had no idea about this.

          1. So they all thought, what, that the ejaculate disappeared into the Mysterious (at least to us) Black Hole?

    4. Yanno, to all the guys that are downing condoms, let’s give you a little test…:

      If you are wrapped up in standard winter ski attire and Mr. Happy is all snuggled away, and then a comely lass brushes up against you, you CANNOT tell me you don’t feel it in your loins.

      Not liking the feeling is one thing (and as a doc, I am 100% pro condom, they don’t just cut down on the risk of pregnancy), but saying you can’t feel anything whilst wearing one is pure, unadulterated bullshit.-)

      The Groovy One has a few tires tracks in his life of pure driven snow…. **wiggles eyebrows**

      1. Ew, Hawkeye. Just ew.

        1. The point was making with the last sentence is that though I am probably more conservative in my sexual choices than probably most here, I am not a Puritan.-)

          And there’s NAWWT either way, if your sex life is either “all salt” or all freshly cracked pepper”, to use a culinary turn of phrase.

          Myself, I like seasoned salt.-)

          1. There is 0 shame in being paranoid about your dick.

      2. Condom sex being better than no sex doesn’t mean condom sex and condomless sex are the same. That is the spurious assumption that Jezebel always makes, and is making here.

        I hate the damn things and hope to go to my grave without using another one ever again.

        1. hope to go to my grave without using another one

          FOr some, this is a cause and effect statement

        2. Keep Mrs. SugarFree happy and your wish is her command…-)

      3. Yeah so?

        When I use the shower head to rinse my balls off it feels good, doesn’t mean it’s gonna give me an erection or get me off though.

        Still there is a time and a place for condoms and should I ever find myself in a place where they were called for I wouldn’t hesitate to use them but I won’t pretend that it is an optimal situation.

    5. Getting off is getting off. Feeling anything before that, not so much.

      1. I am in complete disagreement. The lead-up is important. Also, condoms have an annoying tendency to, er, reverse the vector of certain flows in painful ways on occasion.

        1. Your technique needs some work.-)

          1. No, pretty sure I’m doing it right.

        2. The little reservoir goes outside your urethra.

          1. Aw, man! I was taught I should jam it up in as far in as I could with a toothpick. Thanks!

      2. You are doing it wrong.

  22. The NYPD has adopted portable scanning devices to detect whether people are carrying firearms or other metallic objects.

    Like say, a portable scanning device.

    1. Who will portably scan the portable scanners?

      Also, this tech is going to be highly useful for folks interested in knowing if their confidante is wearing a wire…

      1. It’s portable scanners all the way down

  23. Oregon would make cigarettes prescription-only drugs

    Should I cross Oregon off my list of places to live?

    1. Just live in a border state and make your living selling cigarettes to desperate Oregonians.

      1. WHAT?!! And face two years in the slammer for straw purchasing?!

    2. So, can you then sue the doctor who prescribed you the smokes for malpractice when you get cancer or COPD or something?

      1. Nope. FDA warning labels galore and voluntary taking of said RX, Zeb. And I would make you sign a separate form waiving liability just to CMA. Remember, “You don’t have to drink orange juice.”

  24. http://www.washingtontimes.com…..-thursday/

    Sen. Dianne Feinstein’s office confirmed that she will be introducing in the Senate Thursday a new version of the so-called assault weapon ban. A spokesman said the full text will be released at a press conference on Thursday.

    The California Democrat intends to expand on the ban that expired in 2004, by including handguns and shotguns, in addition to rifles. She would decrease from two to one the number of cosmetic features on a gun to have it be considered an “assault weapon.” This means that if a gun has just one item like a pistol grip or bayonet lug, then it is illegal. Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed into law the same ban in New York last week.

    Furthermore, instead of grandfathering in current firearms, she would create a national gun registry for the government to track lawful gun owners. Magazines would again be limited to 10 rounds.

    Read more: http://www.washingtontimes.com…..z2Iu11SSD7
    Follow us: @washtimes on Twitter

    And so the Democratic Congressional act of collective suicide begins.

    1. What odds will someone, anyone, give me that the Senate passes this act of Joycelyn-Elders-esque idiocy?

      Seems like a good time to reintroduce the CC reciprocity act soon. Strike while the iron is hot and while all gun owners are unified in their pissyness.

      1. +1 Order of the Golden monocle for usage of J. Elders.

        1. +1 “SAFER BULLETZ”

          (Remember *that* one, folks?)

    2. This means that if a gun has just one item like a pistol grip or bayonet lug, then it is illegal.

      So every pistol made that has a magazine then.

      Right.

      I don’t think this has a snowball’s chance in hell of passing, but I’m glad she’s proposing. It will create specific targets for gun owning Democrats, particularly those in rural areas, to aim at in their primaries, and people who Republicans ought to gun for in the elections.

      Someone like Feinstein has no issue with supporting this. A rural democrat from WV would be committing career suicide.

      1. So every pistol made that has a magazine then.

        I was kind of wondering that…but the writeup seems confused. What does “instead of grandfathering in current firearms, she would create a national gun registry for the government to track lawful gun owners” mean? Are they grandfathered in (i.e., legal) or not?

        1. Legal. But only if we tell Uncle Sugar that we have them. You know, because they aren’t trying to ease in confiscation or anything.

          1. mlg, yesterday you advised me to replace all MIM parts in my new Kimber. How do I know which ones are MIM?

            1. Don’t be a Schmoe.There aren’t many parts made from MiM (Metal injected Molding), but the ones that are are important to the operation of the gun. Here’s another good thread on Deschmoeing your 1911.

              To be clear, there haven’t been any (many) reports of firearm failure because of MiM, and the technology has changed for the better. But the 1911 was designed to use tooled steel, not molded steel (which uses a small percentage of plastic in the steel mix).

              You’re probably fine if you’re never doing anything beyond going to the range. But if you feel like this might be a carry gun or that you may have to use it under adverse conditions, I wouldn’t trust MiM to hold up as it hasn’t really been tested under said adverse conditions. MiM was used to cut down on component costs. That’s good for getting you a decent 1911 for a lower cost, but it’s not how the gun was originally designed to function and that scares the bejeebus out of me.

              1. I’ve heard of MiM failures but never experienced one. My Stainless II has over 10,000 rounds through it in competitive (USPSA, IDPA) shooting without a failure.

            2. On a low end Kimber, I’m gonna say if it’s not a spring or the firing pin, it’s probably MIM.

              1. He didn’t get a low end Kimber.

                My wife’s is low end (Stainless II). I was going to get a Kimber, but found what I thought was a MUCH better gun for about the same price as higher quality Kimbers, and without a trace of MiM. Plus it’s made about 40 miles from where I live.

            3. Look for little moldlines on the sides of parts. Typically the safety selector, disconnector, extractor, firing pin retainer, and slide stop/link pin. I’ve heard that some Kimbers use MiM on the barrel bushing. I have an older Stainless II that still has all the original parts with no failures, but I’ve heard others have had problems. The barrel bushing should be done by a competent gunsmith unless you want to take time to learn to fit one correctly.

            4. You guys rock. Thanks for all the great info.

            5. mlg, another question. What brand, if any, do you recommend for spare magazines, and how do I know what to get if buying from Wilson Combat or another source? Do I order the full-size .45 ACP (I think so…)?

              1. Get Chip McCormick shooting star mags. 8 round. The best most reliable mags you’ll ever get. Then get a bench grinder with a polishing wheel and some stainless polishing compound and go to town until they’re mirror bright. Reloads will be effortless.

                1. db, 8 round mags are now illegal in NYS, where I reside.

    3. the full text will be released at a press conference

      11ET on C-SPAN3

      Don’t consider the “summary” — read the *actual* bill.

    4. ok, so I am compelled to buy my first gun. I’ve looked at lots of stuff online, but the question is: handgun–9mm, 22 or something bigger? I’d like to shoot at a range, but I’d also like to have it for defense. SigSauer has a neat subcmpact that can change caliber and grip. Don;t really want to spend $500. Advice from owners/shooters appreciated.

      1. Get 2 guns.

        Buy a 22 handgun because it, more than anything else, will teach you good shooting form. You won’t be able to learn all of the bad habits that most new shooters have with a 22. You will also be able to shoot a lot more for a fuckton cheaper.

        Then get whatever caliber and make you feel is best for you when you rent many guns to try first. A Glock is idiot proof and a good first gun. So is something like a S&P. Don’t forget about revolvers either.

        I would avoid something like a 1911 or an FN because those are NOT idiot proof. They require TLC and can be finicky.

      2. And not spending $500 is possible, but you’re not likely to get what you want, and you’re less likely to be happy with what you do get.

        Buy once, cry once.

        1. There are a lot of good .22 pistols out there for $300 or less…

      3. .22 isn’t recommended for self-defense. If you want a semiautomatic pistol, anything from 9mm to .45 should be okay if you use good, mushrooming bullets. It’s usually easier to find 9mm or .45 ACP than it is to find .40 S&W but because of the Obama fire sale it’s kind of hard to find anything right now.

        Find a range that will let you rent pistols and try different ones to see what you like. You don’t *HAVE* to buy a Glock if you don’t want to, no matter what their large fan base will say. I prefer the Springfield XD series, myself.

        1. .22 isn’t recommended for self-defense.

          To make myself more clear, I wasn’t suggesting a 22 for self defense, but for practice. For every 10 magazine of full power bullets you shoot, you ought to shoot 10 magazines of 22.

          1. For every 1 magazine of full caliber bullets . . .

          2. I did not see your comment before posting mine, I was responding to the original “9mm, .22” question.

            On the whole I agree with you though I don’t own a .22 pistol and really should spend more time at the range.

      4. Thanks for the advice mlg and NC!

    5. this bitch is pissing in the wind.

    6. If Team Red has any brains in their head at all, they will vote for cloture and let this get to the Senate floor for a vote. No way in hell Team Blue commits to this one.

      Look at the states they’re trying to hold seats in. I’d say at least 12 of those 20 would be committing political suicide if they voted for a ban.

    7. What is it with these people and bayonets?

      Do they not realize that the vast majority of assault *rifles* don’t have bayonet attachments. If you tried to bayonet someone with an M-16 you’d probably break it. Hell, using your rifle to break your fall when dropping prone has a pretty good chance of breaking the stock off.

      Wait, nevermind – I just RTFA (something the *author* apparently didn’t) and bayonets and flash suppressors are off the list.

    1. Thanks Mr. Goldwater…I always appreciate your efforts. If you ever run across a naked Adam Baldwin pic….

  25. And for us Menz, Xena and Gabrielle

    All of Hercules and Xena are on Netflix, and I needed something new to watch, so it’s been that and Andromeda lately.

  26. I’ll miss you guys for the next couple of weeks. I’ll be in Marseille/Aubagne, hanging with an FFL buddy of mine (he’s English), then down in Floribama, probably recovering from France.

    God it will be good to have good beer and actually seasoned food again. I expect you guys to have all this personal liberty crap cleared up by the time I get back.

    1. I expect you guys to have all this personal liberty crap cleared up by the time I get back.

      Roger. Wilco,

      1. I mean, seriously, all you had to do was ask.

    2. Goog luck to you! Someday I want to pick your brain about Liberia. I understand they need some help witg their energy infrastructure.

    3. They don’t have internets in those places? We’re all going to forget you, you know.

    4. Have fun! But we may have to call you back if all the “personal liberty crap” is not cleared up by next Friday. Leave a cell phone number just in case.

      Bring back some of those panini things you can buy from street vendors.

      And some of those French girls who never wear bras.

      1. “And some of those French girls who never wear bras”

        Pedophile.

    5. Be safe, WRG. I’m sure IFH will be waiting with baited…err…bated breath until your return, young squire.

      Careful around those French wimminz, I have heard stories of exceptionally dense forests…

    6. What part of Floribama?

  27. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/new…..s-set.html

    Lego accused of racism with Star Wars set
    Lego has been accused of racism by the Turkish community over a Star Wars model that supposedly resembles one of Istanbul’s most revered mosques.

    1. Oh my god!

      When did my ex-countrymen become such pussies?

      1. Since the early 90’s when the major parties missed the boat on American-style grassroots campaigning, continued talking like boring intellectuals with no understanding of “real people”, and practically handed the government to the religious party, which was in the gecekondus promising a lamb on every doner machine.

    2. “It is clear that the ugly figure of Jabba and the whole scene smacks of racial prejudice and vulgar insinuations against Asians and Orientals as people with deceitful and criminal personalities.”

      “Orientals”?!

      RACIST!!

      1. Any Lego except the regular brick is Oppressive

        1. No, the bricks are full of Right angles, which are clearly representative of the patriarchical belief in objective value.

        2. The white, regular brick is oppressive.

    3. How the fuck is depicting a building racist?

      First of all, it is a building, which as far as I know cannot have a race. Second, I assume the problem has something to do with disrespecting Islam or something like that. Religion is not race.

      1. Have you even seen the prequels? They are very racist.

        1. I think I saw the first one. I don’t think I bothered with the next two.

  28. Apropos of the situation we find ourselves in, have some Prong!

  29. That piece of shit Mika on Morning Joe was appalled and aghast this morning that Beyonce is the spokesperson for Pepsi, because Beyonce is a role model for kids, so she shouldn’t be promoting “liquid sugar”. She also was appalled and aghast that Beyonce was naked on the cover of GQ.

    First, Pepsi is not liquid sugar, you stupid bitch. Sugar is a liquid at about 300 degrees Fahrenheit. And second, this is not naked you stupid, fascist whore:

    http://cdn.singersroom.com/upl…..-cover.jpg

    SO DIAF, cunt.

    1. Why would anyone care about either the Pepsi thing or modelling for GQ? What the fuck is wrong with people? I can’t take it anymore! Fuck!

      1. It’s a Jedi hand wave.

        “These aren’t the economical or social problems you’re looking for.”

    2. Why does Mika hate underboob?

      Oh, because she hates everything.

      1. Am I the only one who hears Ralph Wiggum’s voice whenever she opens her pie hole?

    3. because Beyonce is a role model for kids

      You are no longer an individual with opinions and thoughts. You are a role model.

      1. Why would anyone think that any celebrity should be a role model? They tend to be narcissistic weirdos with little clue about how the real world works.

        1. This is why I get pissed at my wife for watching the Kardashians and reading People.

        2. Wait, are we talking about celebrities or democrats here?

  30. http://legalinsurrection.com/2…..titutions/

    Liberals have apparently infiltrated Forbes magazine. Liberals destroy everything they touch.

    1. This is no joke. Forbes really does publish shit like this now. WTF happened to what used to be a pretty good business magazine?

      Steve Forbes should just torch the place and collect the insurance.

      1. Once you hire a liberal, they immediately set out to destroy the organization by turning it into a tool for their politics. The answer is to never let liberals into your organization.

    2. I’ve noticed this too, but I wish that article made more of an effort to try to explain why. I’d be pretty interested in legit theories.

  31. Paul Ryan says the GOP lost the 2012 presidential race because of poor communications

    Romneybot 9000’s AE-35 unit failed.

    1. I told those fools in corporate that he wasn’t ready, but they wouldn’t listen.

      Well, I say the blood is on their hands!

  32. An Op-Ed in support of New Zealand’s cat ban from, where else, Slate

    Morgan points out that your cat “is actually a friendly neighborhood serial killer.” He may sound like some wretched, obsessed Jonathan Franzen character, but his Cats To Go project isn’t meant as a caricature of environmentalism. He’s asking people to pledge to neuter their cats, keep them indoors, and not get any new ones.

    Cats are a globally invasive species. They kill millions of birds each year in Wisconsin alone. Cats feast on endangered North American ground-nesting birds such as the California clapper rail, least tern, and piping plover, any one of which is cuter than a laundry basket full of kittens. A study in the D.C. area a few years ago showed that in some neighborhoods (neighborhoods in which a lot of people who really ought to know better let their beasts roam free), outdoor cats eat basically all juvenile birds as soon as they fledge.

    Well, I may own only one share of Planet Whatjakajigger, but I say we vote against the cat hater!

    1. I love how they are so concerned about birds. That is until someone points out that windmills kill birds by the millions. These people have to have something to bitch about and control. They can never stop. Don’t think for a moment they won’t be moving on to pets or pretty much anything else that brings anyone happiness after they are done killing our lightbulbs and food.

      1. It’s supply and demand. Animals kill other animals. Excesses of some animals starve or succumb to disease. It’s not like Wisconsin would be a Disneylike paradise of songbirds if it weren’t for this horrible Felis catus infestation.

      2. I once had a landlord who believed that any cat that kills a bird in violation of the federal Migratory Birds Act should be put down.

        Considering the fact that there were no outdoor cats in the neighborhood, I suspect he took the law into his own hands.

        Did I mention that he was an uber-liberal, or were you able to figure that out on your own?

        1. He was just practicing for when we finally get the camps that he knows the country needs.

    2. Thanks a lot. Now I’m going to be hating people even more than usual all day.

    3. Birds kill insects by the millions in Wisconsin alone. Ban Birds!!

  33. My dog must’ve descended from Cougar shit eating wolves.

    1. Dogs love cat shit and deer shit. Shit is a delicacy to them. I am told by veterinarians it doesn’t hurt them. So to each his own.

      1. I don’t know about deer poop, but they prize cat poop because it’s high in protein.

        1. And hairballs!

          1. And pretty much any other form of cat puke. Cat puke is like Pate to dogs.

            1. Ever since I got a dog, I haven’t had to clean up any cat puke.

              1. Me either. When we first got a dog, our cat at the time, who was a real puker, puked on the floor and before my wife could get back with a paper towel, the puke was gone and the dog was sitting contently in the room. At first she couldn’t figure out what happened. And then she, having never had a dog as a kid, screamed “Oh my God”. I had to explain to her just how dogs roll.

    2. Your dog go in the litter box to eat as much cat shit as they can before they get caught too?

      1. All dogs, given the opportunity, loves them some crunchy kitty snacks!

  34. Walmart to open small stores on select college campuses

    A very liberal friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and after reading the post, I said what’s the problem with this? After all, college students should appreciate the lower prices and convenience. One of his friends said that not all Walmarts offer birth control, to which I replied that the issue then is to make birth control available over-the-counter, not to complain about Walmart finding a market for itself.

    I never got a reply to that point, pretty much solidifying in my mind that most people have concerns for only one issue, and when that issue is taken off the table, they have no idea what the fuck to do.

    1. I bet the Walmarts on college campuses will sell birth control.

      1. They could probably make a profit if that was the only thing they sold.

      2. BC, Diet Coke, cookie dough, tampons, condoms, pregnancy tests and beer. Don’t over-stock; go for the core products.

        1. You’re forgetting ramen.

          1. And rolling papers

            1. Ramen, yes. Rolling papers, though, force you to open up the snack and candy market, which can be complex.

              I’m not saying it can’t be done, but the logistics are not trivial.

              1. Your not thinking this through: cannabis is edible, and placed IN the snackables kills two birds with one stone.

              2. If anyone can figure the logistics out Walmart can.

            2. And apples, to ward off scurvy.

              1. And apples, to ward off scurvy.

                And to make bongs from.

              2. And apples, to ward off scurvy.

                Oranges, lemons, and limes work better.-) Grapefruit could pose a problem, however.

        2. Ben & Jerrys

          1. Haagen Daaz.

            1. Shitiest ice cream on the planet. Worse than Edys. So yeah, maybe that would work for college students.

              1. Nonsense. Breyer’s owns that title. And anything labeled, “Ice Milk.”

                1. Breyers kicks ass. Why do you people like ghetto ice cream?

                2. Breyer’s Ice Cream is the bomb. Breyer’s “Frozen Dairy Dessert” is what you have to watch out for. They’re ruining their brand by trying to keep it affordable by reducing the milk content below the legal limit for the substance to be called “ice cream.”

          2. What’s wrong with you Yankees? Everyone knows Bluebell makes the best ice cream and worst commercials on the planet.

            1. (sigh) Thanks for reminding me about those damn ads. Baseball season starts soon and every Braves game will have them at least twice.

              How do they pack so much awful into a commercial that size?

            2. Happy cows in Brennan Texas. And yeah, Blue Bell is the bomb.

            3. Sorry, they aren’t based in Vermont or upstate New York, which due to their particular climate has grass that produced the sweetest milk available, and hence why Ice Cream from Vermont/New York is always the best.

              Wisconson and California milk may be OK for Cheese but if you want Ice Cream they are shit.

              As far as Bluebell, well, they are based in Texas and while that makes their cows really good eating I’m pretty sure that their milk isn’t even fit for human consumption.

  35. not all Walmarts offer birth control

    Everything not prohibited is mandatory.

    The liberal’s creed.

  36. Chicago coroner changes cause of death to “homicide” for man beaten to death by police officers. However, the new DA says he’s not going “digging in the office’s past findings” but has sent information to the police officers that murdered the man’s co-workers.

    One officer was fired and one suspended for 30 days, but they all somehow evaded charges.

  37. Violently beat someone with your maglight (while armed) falsely imprison them and perjure yourself? Why, that’ll get you probation if you’re a cop in New Mexico.

    1. A NM cop got convicted?

      Holy shit!

  38. Remember the homeless man at the Jewish Community Center that NYPD boys and girls beat the fuck out of? Well since no officers were charged, he’s sued the city for damages.

    Can’t say I blame him. If a city had armed goons beat the piss out of me and didn’t hold them accountable, I’d sue as well.

  39. Welcvome to the New Regime! Scary stuff man!

    http://www.Anon-Dis.tk

  40. Remember the homeless man at the Jewish Community Center that NYPD boys and girls beat the fuck out of?

    He escalated the situation. He FORCED those poor officers to subdue him, in fear for their lives.

    They just want to help.

  41. Police officers help utility workers trespass on private property. Arrest homeowners that complain and others that videotape their activities.

    1. I don’t really see the issue here. I guess if they were that opposed to the new meters they could be offered the opportunity to go without electricity.

      1. Oh, I don’t know. Maybe letting utility workers use bolt cutters to enter private property without a warrant might be an issue. And arresting the homeowners who put chains on their gates and dare complain when the people enter their property without their permission.

        Not to mention that they have only one choice when it comes to utility carriers, thanks to public utility exemptions to the monopoly laws. They either OBEY or they go without power. That’s a bullshit choice.

        For a person to cut a lock and enter upon private property they have to have the permission of the homeowner or they have to be escorted by a warrant-carrying officer of the law. These asshats had neither. Not to mention one woman was arrested for merely filming on her friend’s private property. Maybe I’m overreacting, but this is total bullshit.

        1. You don’t need a warrant when you already have access via easement.

          Choice in providers might be a bullshit choice, but that’s not really related to the issue that seems to concern you.

          For a person to cut a lock and enter upon private property they have to have the permission of the homeowner or they have to be escorted by a warrant-carrying officer of the law.

          That simply isn’t true, not matter how much you want it to be.

          The “attempted eavesdropping” charge is clearly bullshit. If they had cut the lock without attempting to get in without having to do so — calling, leaving a note that they’d be back the next day, or whatever — then they should have to pay for the lock. If she purposely locked them out and refused to allow them their well-established right to do so then that’s on her.

    2. “We absolutely are not bullies.” said the big bully before starting his daily wedgie route. Wow, Illinois sucks.

  42. Steven Wilson

    New album comes out soon, but is available in the right corners of the internet. It’s really good if you like prog music with one foot firmly set in 70s-style prog, but without forgetting that the 70s were 40 years ago, insisting a new approach to playing prog. The musicianship is outstanding, as is the songwriting.

    It is not Porcupine Tree, however. I’m glad that Wilson had the sense that Mikael Akerfeldt by spinning this project away from PT and getting a whole new band to do this music rather than trying to fundamentally change the band’s sound and style.

  43. I really hope Justice Roberts reads the NYT. What a shock, even though he bowed down and kissed their ass on the Obama care decision, he just didn’t kiss it hard enough for them. The NYT on Roberts swearing in Obama.

    he Obama and Roberts visions of America are very different. No disagreement is more fundamental than that about the connection between justice and prosperity.

    To Mr. Obama, prosperity enables justice and vice versa. Persuasively [snort], he said in his address, “Together, we discovered that a free market only thrives when there are rules to ensure competition and fair play.” . . . And commitments to justice, like Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, he said, “do not make us a nation of takers; they free us to take the risks that make this country great.”

    The Roberts court, on the other hand, with the chief justice in the majority, has regularly ruled as if justice and prosperity are unrelated or even antithetical. . . .

    When the chief justice cast his critical vote to uphold the Affordable Care Act last June, he made clear that he did not favor the law, which is the most important commitment to justice and prosperity so far of the Obama administration.

    Roberts really is one of the great tragic fools in America today. He wants so desperately to be liked, he is going to end up being despised by everyone. I really think the dumb bastard thought liberals would respect him and the court if he gave them what they wanted.

    1. He’s not a “True Believer”, John. TEAM BLUE only recognizes fidelity if one is a “True Believer”.

  44. Paul, Mitt and Barry both had some pretty terrible ideas.

    Not only that but they had all the SAME terrible ideas.

  45. “So what if abortion ends life?”

    ‘The “life” conversation is often too thorny to even broach. Yet I know that throughout my own pregnancies, I never wavered for a moment in the belief that I was carrying a human life inside of me. I believe that’s what a fetus is: a human life. And that doesn’t make me one iota less solidly pro-choice….

    ‘Here’s the complicated reality in which we live: All life is not equal. That’s a difficult thing for liberals like me to talk about, lest we wind up looking like death-panel-loving, kill-your-grandma-and-your-precious-baby storm troopers. Yet a fetus can be a human life without having the same rights as the woman in whose body it resides….

    ‘When we on the pro-choice side get cagey around the life question, it makes us illogically contradictory….

    ‘When we try to act like a pregnancy doesn’t involve human life, we wind up drawing stupid semantic lines in the sand…

    ‘But we make choices about life all the time in our country. We make them about men and women in other nations. We make them about prisoners in our penal system. We make them about patients with terminal illnesses and accident victims….’

    http://www.salon.com/2013/01/2…..ends_life/

  46. Has anyone heard from Tulpa today, or was he dragged in for questioning over his unfortunate comment last night?

    1. What?

      1. Sorry, man. Just referencing your comment on the Mali intervention.

        1. Why would I be brought in for questioning on that? [/confused]

          1. Oh I just went back and saw the explanation. I didn’t even know the significance of the name and immediately corrected it so no problem.

        2. I shouldn’t have.

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