A.M. Links: White House Paid Men More Than Women in 2012, Former D.C. Prosecutor Skeptical of More Gun Control, Sen. Paul Says Obama Behaving Like Royalty, French Troops in Mali Head North, Judges Rule Teacher With Porn Past Should Not Return to Classroom

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  • Female White House staffers were paid less than their male counterparts in 2012, earning on average about 13 percent less.
  • A former prosecutor who enforced firearm cases in Washington D.C. has expressed his skepticism over additional gun control measures.
  • French troops in Mali are heading north to engage Al Qaeda-linked militants after days of airstrikes.
  • The NRA have called Obama an "elitist hypocrite" for allowing his daughters to enjoy armed protection from the Secret Service while not supporting the policy of having armed guards in schools.  
  • Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) has said that Obama is acting "like a king or a monarch" ahead of the president's gun control proposals. 
  • A three-judge commission in California has ruled that a middle-school teacher who was fired after students discovered she had previously worked in porn should not be able to return to work. 

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  1. Woman smothers lover to death with her breasts.

    1. Death Breasts…lol!

      1. Sounds like an old Adam West Batman plot.

        “Holy Holsteins Batman! I can’t get free and it’s getting hard to breathe!”

        “Don’t struggle Robin, you’ll only sink faster. Try to reach my utility belt and release the Bat-Dildo”.

    2. Ok now I am all for the high capacity brassier bans. No one ‘needs’ that much mojo.

      1. I will personally lead this just and noble crusade.

      2. I definitely think a ban on things made of brass is in order, John….errr…WG!

        1. Brass monkeys hardest hit!

        2. Sousaphone players plan protest.

          1. +1

    3. Talk about your valley of death.

    4. I could think of worse ways to go. Smothered under a giant dick for example; or teabagged to death by STEVE SMITH.

    5. Her chest skin looks awfully nice for someone who is 51. Hoax?

      1. “file picture”

      2. It says that’s a file photo. I don’t think it’s her unless she had a reduction done (in several places). I believe this is really her.

    6. Didn’t we discuss this one yesterday in the Evening Links?

      1. Quiet, you. Time means nothing when discussing killer boobies.

      2. Well, we tried to, but some people preferred to talk about Mr Hands for some incomprehensible reason.

        BOOB-SMOTHERING COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE! Bestiality, less so.

        1. wait, what? There was a bestiality story?

          1. There wasn’t, there was only this, but you know how our minds are in the gutter.

            1. Yes; we know how women’s minds are in the gutter. :-p

        2. BOOB-SMOTHERING COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE

          Not the squeeze, poor man.

        3. BOOB-SMOTHERING COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE!

          I know we have a couple of gay male commenters. They might tend to disagree. I suppose they could be smother by bear moobs, though.

          1. That’s fair. I was othering them and have been properly chastened.

          2. They could be attacked by a bitter spinster maybe?

          3. Chuck Schumer needs to be locked up for everyone’s safety.

    7. Tough titties.

      1. Alright asshole, I loled.

      2. Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless [controls himself with a supreme effort]–ooooh! Now, Cardinal–the rack!

        1. This man is about to die. In a few moments, now, he will be killed, for Arthur Jarrett is a convicted criminal who has been allowed to choose the manner of his own execution.

          1. Python has predicted everything. I think, in a century or so, they’ll become the new Nostradamus.

    8. I never thought I would die this way, but I kinda always hoped.

  2. Female White House staffers were paid less than their male counterparts in 2012, earning on average about 13 percent less.

    It makes sense when you factor in the lost time due to all that swooning.

    1. It makes sense when you factor in the lost time due to all that swooning.

      And really, being in His presence is all the compensation a good, progressive-minded woman should ever need.

    2. Just wait until the Obamacare provision that requires insurance companies to cover cases of the vapors kicks in.

    3. I don’t know, from what I’ve seen, the men there spend just as much time swooning.

      Also it’s obvious women just need less. To each according to, and all.

    4. As if the male staffers don’t swoon too…

      1. Just ask Chris Matthews

    5. This isn’t the first allegation of sexism leveled at the administration. I guess all of the women are going to turn against Obama, now.

      1. Aaaaaaaaaany minute now…

    6. He is one bad mother-

        1. But I done my time!

    1. Looks like Chicago lawyers have a nice racket going on over there.

      1. The cops in that city are sadists. Hell, they’d make a Seattle cop blush.

    2. Chief Judge Frank Easterbrook described the Police Department’s release of Eilman, who is white, into a high-crime, predominantly African-American neighborhood by saying officers “might as well have released her into the lion’s den at the Brookfield Zoo.”

      So they really are just animals up there, huh?

      1. SPECIESIST!!

    3. I can’t imagine why somebody in Chicago wouldn’t want to be entirely dependent on the local PD for their own protection.

      1. Actually committing a crime is probably the best way to stay off of Chicago PD’s radar.

    4. Sloopy obviously doesn’t know the totality of the circumstances.

      1. They were not trained, specifically, not to dump people in front of the Robert Taylor homes. So its not anything you can hold them accountable for!

        1. That’s right, the rules aren’t a list of things you CAN do, they’re an incomplete list of the things you CAN’T do.

    5. All of this and not one comment about how the taxpayers are getting fucked.

      I wonder if dunphy will make another grand appearance and tell us the settlement is not warranted but the city is making it out of sympathy or to be nice. Or does he reserve those comments for when the police officers themselves permanently paralyze and cause brain damage to the victims? Or is it that he reserves it for his buddies in Washington State?

      1. Please, do not call for that bucket of pig shit.

    6. The Logan case would bring the tab on Burge cases to nearly $60 million when legal fees are counted. Burge is serving 41/2 years in federal prison for lying about the torture and abuse of suspects.

      Remember, boys in blue, the difference between a paid vacation and a life in prison is lying. Just openly admit what you done and all is forgiven.

  3. Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) has said that Obama is acting “like a … monarch”

    Chris Matthews agrees that Obama is a beautiful butterfly.

    1. Well, if it plays out like I suspect, I hope we at least get to see Boehners hands nailed to the Capitol Building doors.

      1. Nice reference although Boehner’s oratory skills hardly compare to Cicero’s.

      2. There’s too many noodle-armed SWPLs on Obama’s staff to find a Marc Antony type with the capability of doing something like that, especially now that Rahm’s in Chicago.

    2. Gotta agree with Paul. Obama is certainly as petulant as the Venture Bros. character, anyway.

      1. I mean if Michelle Obama looked like Dr. Girlfriend, I could sort of respect her. In a I-respect-you-because-I-want-to-fuck-you sort of way.

        1. Because Michelle played the part of Steve Summer’s ‘girlfriend’ in the Venture Brothers…

          http://www.google.com/imgres?q…..s:100,i:40

    3. Well, I didn’t vote for him.

      1. “You don’t vote for kings.”

        1. Well, how’d he become king then?

            1. Oh, you’re no fun anymore.

            2. You Oklahoma State people are humorless, aren’t you?

          1. The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.

            1. Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

              1. It’s only a model…

  4. Female White House staffers were paid less than their male counterparts in 2012, earning on average about 13 percent less.

    [sad horn]

    1. That is only wrong when somebody other then a Liberal Democrat is President

      Just like when a President is screwing the interns.

      1. and why dems get one free grope.

    1. Doors slammed: lots

    2. Hrm, it’d be tempting to put one of those up if I still lived there…like bait or something.

    3. Elitist fucks are elitist.

    4. Nice video. Too bad none of these fucking hypocrites will ever admit to their hypocrisy, and take a moral stand.

  5. Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) has said that Obama is acting “like a king or a monarch”…

    Inbred? Since Paul is from Kentucky, I’m guessing that’s what he meant.

    1. “from” is questionable. He was born in Pennsylvania after all.

      1. Pennsyltucky. There, argument resolved.

        1. Actually, he was born in Pittsburgh and Pennsyltucky is the part in between Philly and Pitt. And an insult to KY.

          We keep our roads in better condition.

          1. I always thought, and taught my children, that you have Pittsburgh over here and Philadelphia over there and Arkansas in the middle.

            As a matter of fact, I believe that’s how I was taught about Penna in elementary school.

            1. Ive always heard “Alabama”.

              But, once again, an insult to Alabama, as they have drivable roads too.

          2. And an insult to KY.

            I doubt your roads would be as pristine if it snowed as often down there, but I won’t quibble there. I will say that whenever I’ve gotten off the highway into the sticks out there (or the one time I was pulled over) the people sounded exactly like the couple from Bowling Green that I’m friends with.

            1. Have you gotten into the sticks in KY though?

              Bowling Green is citified.

              1. So rednecks in the north sound like southern city folk. I don’t know if this fact is at all useful in any way.

        2. Ah yes, the Argument from Portmanteau. I’m surprised you aren’t persuaded…

          1. Argument by Neologism is much more effective, in that it takes everybody a minute to figure out what you’re on about and you can tweak the definition as needed.

  6. A three-judge commission in California has ruled that a middle-school teacher who was fired after students discovered she had previously worked in porn should not be able to return to work.

    Well? Which work is she not allowed to return to?

    1. “After students discovered”…somebody’s daddy was arguing too loud with mommy.

      1. It appears that her teacher colleagues were the ones who helpfully “discovered” her career. Many times. On cell phones, since the school computers were locked out.

    2. Unfair! Employees of the Securities and Exchange Commission “worked in porn”, and *they* were allowed to return.

    3. Who is better qualified than she to teach sex education?

  7. Female White House staffers were paid less than their male counterparts in 2012, earning on average about 13 percent less.

    Seriously, how hard is it to cook dinner and load a dishwasher?

  8. A former prosecutor who enforced firearm cases in Washington D.C. has expressed his skepticism over additional gun control measures.

    That “former” in front of your title really makes for a different worldview.

    1. Yeah, we need more of those in front of politicians.

      1. Lord knows we need more statesmen.

  9. Ding ding ding!
    We have a winner!

    This is because the overwhelming majority of people who die in gun-related homicides are not murdered by crazed strangers in schools, malls, and movie theaters. Most of the nonsuicide gun deaths in this country happen in densely populated, lower-income urban environments like New Orleans, Detroit, and Washington, D.C. Here, gangs and poverty are the proximate causes of the violence, not a lack of access to counseling.

    [. . .]

    People who enter into the gun debate without understanding this reality tend to be attracted to policies that make them feel good because “something has been done” to make firearms slightly harder to come by. Rarely do they take the time to weigh how much those policies would actually do to combat the problem on the ground. In fact, addressing the incentives that lead young people in our inner cities to gravitate toward crime?incentives like the ability to gain money and status by trafficking in drugs when few other opportunities are available?would do more to begin to address the gun violence endemic in America than any of the well-intentioned but likely ineffectual “gun control” laws that could be passed.

    [. . .]

    (cont)

    1. Ending the drug war and legalizing drugs is probably the single most dramatically positive step that could be taken to rehabilitate these places, because without a black market to sustain and enable them, much of the rationale for gangs to exist at all dries up. Yet the conversation since Newtown has been devoid of honest dialogue over what we could do to stop the drug trade from being the most promising method of social advancement for our most vulnerable young people.

      No meaningful debate about guns can ignore the fact that our impoverished inner cities are the true ground zero of homicides in this country. And no meaningful debate about our inner cities can overlook the hard truth that much of the violence they’re afflicted with is itself a product of drug prohibition, which makes the youths with the least to lose perfect candidates for careers in crime.

      Ending the drug war is the key to ending gun violence, not limiting magazine capacity for law abiding citizens.

      1. Damn it, I posted before you continued (well, before I saw you had continued).

      2. Patience, mlg.

        I’m sure this will be the first Executive Order the President will announce today.

      3. …because without a black market to sustain and enable them…

        racist!

      4. Because it’s RACIST! to even think about the violence and crime in the inner city.

    2. Want to drop gun crime dramatically in the US? End in the War on Drugs.

      1. These are the AM links. Take your terse reason and good intentions elsewhere or start contributing titty posts like everyone else.

        1. Just wait till old man John shows up…

  10. What a way to go.

    Lowndes County sheriff’s officials said Monday that 17-year-old Lowndes High School student Kendrick Johnson became lodged inside the roll of mats, upside down. His body was found Friday in the high school’s old gym.

    1. Ban gym! Ban mats! Ban exercise of all kinds!

    2. Kendrick Johnson became lodged inside the roll of mats, upside down. His body was found Friday in the high school’s old gym.

      What a horrifying way to die. My condolences to this poor kid’s family.

    3. His dad thinks there’s more to the story:

      “I want to express how did my son go missing during school hours in broad daylight? We know our son was murdered while he was at Lowndes High School. We do know that,” Johnson told the station.

  11. A chimp learns to use a remote control. She chooses to watch … what?

    1. Could be worse. It could have been Glee.

    2. A three-judge panel will determine whether she will be allowed to return to the zoo,

    3. Oh boy. How ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus.

      1. Oh boy. How ya gonna keep ’em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus.

        It’s been firmly established that you can’t.

    4. I thought females didn’t watch porn.

      1. They do, they just call it something else.

        1. “Downton Abbey”

    5. This came up a few days ago. Note that the porn is human porn.

      1. if a chimp is watching “human” porn, does that mean they are into “beastiality”?

        1. Yes. Bestiality is communicative. So if it’s bestiality for humans, it’s bestiality for chimps.

      2. She could watch chimp porn but PETA would prevent it’s being made. Oh, sure, call it a “nature documentary” and you can do it, but try to give a chimp a Brazilian and suddenly it’s animal cruelty!

        I weep for the future.

        1. but try to give a chimp a Brazilian…

          and suddenly your face is missing?

  12. Let this be a lesson: you start in porn, you stay in porn.

    A middle school teacher who was fired after students learned she had appeared in pornography has lost her appeal to return to the classroom, her lawyer said Tuesday.

    A three-judge panel unanimously decided Stacie Halas, 32, was unfit for the classroom. Halas was fired in April from her job as a science teacher at Haydock Intermediate School in Oxnard after online videos of her in porn were discovered by students and teachers.

    1. Nothing cool like this ever happened in my high school.

      1. We had a middle school teacher that everyone swore “someone” had seen in a late-60s Playboy college girls spread. She was my English teacher and married to a friend of my Dad, but the rumor was never confirmed. Too bad. She was damn fine looking woman for her age, and must have been superhot in her 20s.

      2. It might have, just before HD the films were so grainy you’d never recognize on of the actresses.

    2. Hey, that’s the Big Sausage Pizza Delivery one! For those who can’t check out her work at the moment, it sucks, except for the lulz punchline. If she’s as bad a teacher as an actress, the kids caught a break

    3. Whereas teachers who fuck their students with incompetence and bias are apparently perfectly fit to teach.

    4. A three-judge panel unanimously decided Stacie Halas, 32, was unfit for the classroom.

      How the hell does fucking on camera make one unfit to teach?

      1. She might influence the kids to sext more.

      2. Because the primary role of the teacher is to enforce respect for authority, and since her gravitas is undermined, she is incapable of doing her job.

        1. Stupidity also undermines gravitas. No one fired any teachers in my high school.

          1. We had stupidity, also senility, cruelity and some sadism. I had about five “good” teachers in twelve years.

            1. I had 2 in 13 years.

              Both were band teachers.

              1. I thought I had quite a few good teachers. Then they went on strike and were vindictive when they came back to all of the kids (like me) that still attended when replacement teachers were bussed in. It taught me everything I needed to know about their priorities.

                1. The priorities were keep order, get paid, go home on time. Any actual success by students was way, way down the list.

              2. I had 1 in 13 years. My 3d grade teacher taught me from an almost totally different curriculum than the rest of the class. She spent her lunches and time before and after class grading my separate assignments and going over them with me. One day she told the entire class to stop tattling on me for doing different work, or drawing, or whatever than they were because I “can do two things at once and do them both well.”

                Years later, the fucking school district adamantly refused to contact her on my behalf or forward a letter of thanks to her. Motherfuckers.

                1. So you rode the short bus then?

            2. I had some really good teachers in HS – but I was on the “upper track” with the AP classes and the ‘gifted’ (at BSing) program. Those teachers actually seemed to give a sh*t about their students. However the other teachers…

      3. It’s the inverse of ‘having a Ed degree’ makes you fit to teach.

        Or something. It’s all confusing to me.
        Shutdown government schools.
        For the Children.

      4. How does being a student make one fit for a GPS tag from their school? Same thing as getting fired for a previous porn role. The jurisdiction of the public schools encompasses all space and time.

  13. Cop assaults man trying to act as peacemaker. The cop is only charged with a misdemeanor and will have the charges dropped if he doesn’t beat the shit out of anybody else in the next 6 months.

    The other two cops involved in the asskicking were not charged and received a short paid vacation for their efforts.

    1. Hahaha reap the whirlwind, scumbag!

  14. The NRA have called Obama an “elitist hypocrite” for allowing his daughters to enjoy armed protection from the Secret Service while not supporting the policy of having armed guards in schools.

    As we drift further and further away from the argument that it’s important to know that some people in a given area can be and probably are armed, but not exactly who.

  15. Because he’s the hero Virginia deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

    While awaiting sentencing at a highly secure prison in the mountains that is reserved for the state’s worst inmates, Gleason strangled 26-year-old Aaron Cooper through the wire fencing that separated their individual cages on the recreation yard.

    Gleason claims he’s killed others — perhaps dozens more — but he has refused to provide details. He claims he’s different from the other men on Virginia’s death row for one important reason: he only kills criminals.

    1. Wait, they get Showtime in SuperMax prisons?

      I can’t believe I’ve squandered my life working for a living.

    2. Does he have a foulmouthed adopted sister?

    3. Gleason, 42, was born in Lowell, Mass

      Do you know who else is from Lowell, Mass?

      1. Your mom?

        1. I ask because of the copious amount of time the author spent describing her beauty.

          1. WTF, how did this comment end up here?

  16. Vice says this article in Esquire is the worst thing ever written

    1. They’ve obviously never read anything by Dan Brown.

      1. A voice spoke, chillingly close. “Do not move.”

        On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly.

        Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.

        1. Suddenly a shot rang out!

        2. Warty is that you?

        3. If Charles Shultz were alive today, he would no longer be doing cartoons but instead writing best selling novels and movie scripts under the pseudonym “Snoopy the Beagle”. It was a dark and stormy night.

        4. I can’t count the number of times a broad, tall, mountainous silhouette has stared at me. Perhaps it’s my choice of bars.

      2. Come on Whiterun. Dan Brown gives every person in the world hope that they to could become a best selling millionaire author. Clearly talent or imagination are not requirements for the job.

        1. Well, I also hate the world having hope, but I do see your point.

          But seriously, even the Futurama parody of it sucked.

          1. When my mother was dying I actually listened to The Divinci Code on audio and enjoyed it. I look back on that now and realize how profoundly the experience of watching my mother die was affecting my sanity and judgment.

        2. My wife and I discussed churning out romance novels and selling them for less than $10 for e-readers. it can’t be that hard. we just needed a hook to make them unique. i thought we could market them to puck-bunnies and have them based on hockey players. but, it’s been done.

          1. You can probably write a perl script (or other language of choice, but perl seems like the right one to use) to generate them for you.

            1. robc,

              I am yaph, and would love to endorse your plan, but when it comes to scripting romance novels is there any option but Python?

          2. the romance/erotica market is absolutely flooded – 50 Shades of Grey has seen to that.

            1. When there are sections of bookstores devoted to such specific genres as teen paranormal romance, you know that’s true.

          3. How about female college hoockey players? Or ths US Women’s soccer team? Or beach volleyball players? Or women surfers?

      3. My mom bought me The Da Vinci Code. I got 20 pages in and said “No way I’m reading any more of this crap.” And I only got to 20 out of love for my mother.

        1. You are a good son.

          1. Reading the last ten pages was akin to Frodo’s experience carrying the Ring through Mordor.

            1. You did get to throw the book into an active volcano, right?

              1. Nah, I got some really short guy to do it for me.

    2. It was a dark and stormy night.

      1. The toilet light was dim…

    3. an interview with Megan Fox

      Did sarcasmic write that?

      1. To me, it had more of a Will Ferrell vibe to it.

        But, I’d give Sarc props on it anyway.

        1. I ask because of the copious amount of time the author spent describing her beauty.

  17. Went out to check the barn last night and there was a coyote pack not far off in the woods crying and raising hell. DO they make all that noise to drive game or are they just stupid?

    1. THey probably had just found game and were celebrating and letting everyone around know that this is their territory.

      ARs work GREAT for coyotes, BTW.

      1. I thought of that. But they respect the electric horse fence. I also put up some red reflectors which I’m told scares them.

    2. They do the same thing here. I assume it is the pack sorting out the hierarchy or letting another group know they are on their turf.

    3. I’d get some solar motion sensor lights if I were you. Scares the shit out of coyotes. And get one of the live traps and throw a dead chicken or something in it. Once you trap one, kill it and pour the blood around the fence where they come in. You won’t see them for a while.

      1. And you wonder why the paperboy always leaves it at the end of the driveway…

        1. As if I’d ever get a newspaper delivered. But the driveway is 200 yards long and there’s a cattle gate at the end of it. Nobody delivers to the door. Not even fucking FedEx.

          1. can’t you train your chickens to fetch parcels?

            1. Speaking of livestock, I had a duck attack me the other day. I had a bucket of feed for the pigs and I was looking in a barn at some kids one of our goats just dropped. Well there is apparently a nest of duck eggs around because one of our larger drakes was hissing away at me. I kicked the bastard gently but he came back toward me. I made a fake lunge at him to spook him away, but instead the motherfucker came off the ground and landed on my chest with his beak at eye level. I went backward, lost my balance and ended up on my ass screaming like a girl, and with the bucket of feed scattered all over the place. My heartless wife laughed hysterically.

              To make things worse, I was wearing overalls when it occurred.

              1. But you will wreak your revenge, in this world or the next

              2. Anytime I feel sad, I just replay that scene over and over again in my mind. It perks me right back up.

                1. Anytime I feel sad, I just replay that scene over and over again in my mind.

                  And now so will we all.

              3. We’ll see how much sand that duck has when you make a nice a l’orange out of him.

              4. Get a Katana. Post results on youtube.

      2. ZOMG!!! AAAnni…coughgaagcantbreath…malcruelty!!! Zomebodydosumthingk!!!

    4. They were celebrating their victory over us, in light of the new gun control regs.

      1. They were celebrating their victory over us, in light of the new gun control regs.

        ^^THIS^^

    5. When I was stationed at Camp Pendleton, every night when taps was sounded over the base PA system, the coyotes up in the hills would all howl in unison.

      I tihnk they do it just to hear themselves.

    6. Buy a couple of roadrunners.

      1. AR15s work great for roadrunners too,…as well ..so do 91 geo storms. the little fuckers need to learn to fly, for self preservation and all……….

  18. “Female White House staffers were paid less than their male counterparts in 2012, earning on average about 13 percent less.”

    I’ve seen Obama exploit bigotry before; being a hypocrite towards women doesn’t surprise me at all. He thinks they all owe him their devotion. Of course he takes women for granted!

    And hypocrisy doesn’t bother Obama in the least.

    It doesn’t bother his followers either. What looks like obvious hypocrisy to us is just nuance to them. Go ahead, try to reason with one of Obama’s followers. It’s like trying to reason with Tony! It’s like trying to reason with a Scientologist.

    Obama’s a blatant hypocrite on women’s issues? Nah, you just don’t understand the guru.

    1. It’s those damn Rethuglicans in congress that won’t let him pay them what they’re worth!!

      1. You should be the White House spokesperson!

    2. They’ll just shrug and say “BOOOOOOSH!” If it was good enough for Bush, its good enough for The Anointed One.

    3. Maybe he should issue an executive order to himself.
      “Because I can’t wait for me to act, I’m ordering me to act”

      1. You know, maybe his secret executive order will be to suspend the Constitution and declare martial law. Just until the current crisis is over.

  19. Police officer runs over man with her car and doesn’t report it for 14 hours. The man has to relearn how to walk and has permanent physical and mental injuries. The cop got probation and community service.

    1. Just like any person would have for a hit and run with serious injuries.

    2. Not to be that guy, but I really don’t understand how none of these victims ever decide to take revenge on cops like this. If somebody paralyzed me and got off with probation, I’m not sure I could restrain myself.

      1. I’m not sure I could restrain myself.

        Don’t worry, your wheelchair would.

  20. On this day, Sheriff Tim Mueller is my hero. I pray there are many more like him in what’s left of this country.

    1. I wonder how many of the asshats on the Oregon State University (not OSU. There’s only one OSU!) staff are calling for his head. Technically Corvallis isn’t in Linn County but I’m sure quite a few faculty members live across the river.

        1. Yes Pro. That is the only OSU.

          1. You two retards ought to get a room.

            1. Not our fault you have a trademark problem. I suggest a new name, one that is totally unique.

            2. Like Big Honkin’ University.

              1. Central Ohio Learning Annex

                1. Free Tattoo U

            3. OSU is Oregon State and Oklahoma State.

              tOSU or aOSU (the latter is my preference) is for Ohio State.

                1. The Other Florida University?

                  I think that is in Tallahassee?

                    1. I think he was referring to Florida State Community College, in Tallahassee.

                    2. So I have a friend who was at GT with me for undergrad and went to Florida law school, and was always a UF fan.

                      He has a young kid and said that he will pay for college anywhere except uga and fsu, as there is nothing that either have that he cant get better somewhere else.

                      At that point, 2 of us tried to interrupt him, but he stopped us both with “yeah, yeah, if he wants to be a clown, he can go to FSU”.

                    3. “yeah, yeah, if he wants to be a clown, he can go to FSU”.

                      We do have an excellent college circus.

                    4. The one with the Seminole mascot?

                    5. Yes, that’s the one, ProL. You know, the school that actually has females.

                    6. Does A&M not have any women?

        2. OK State.. one of my favorites. I spent my freshman year there.

          Go Pokes!

      1. “not OSU. There’s only one OSU!”

        Ah, yes, Oklahoma State University.

          1. Ohio was a University before Columbus was a city.

            Note: may not be factually accurate, but I always liked the “Miami was a University before Florida was a state” line.

            1. Hey cool! It is true!

              OU was founded in 1804, Columbus was founded in 1812.

              1. THE Ohio University? No wonder they have feelings of inadequacy at Ohio State.

          2. Sloop, you must not have been in Cowtown lately. OSU has been de-emphasized in favor of the logo with the block “O”. IIRC, Ohio State tried to get a trademark on an “OSU” logo and found that OK state or someone else had one that was too close. So they designed one that would be unique. YOu still find OSU on signs and such, but not as an official logo. I spent most of the last decade living near The Big Farm (as it was known to us when I was in grad school in the 70s). You need to make a visit. It’s changed a lot. Mostly for the better.

    2. A shame that he’s the exception, not the rule.

    3. Agreed. Makes me wonder if the sheriff in my county has half as much backbone.

      1. In fact, I just emailed the link to my sheriff and asked him if he supported Sheriff Mueller and if is willing to take the same stand himself. I won’t hold my breath waiting for an answer.

  21. “Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) has said that Obama is acting “like a king or a monarch” ahead of the president’s gun control proposals.”

    It is telling the way he’s bragging about implementing his plans without Congressional consideration, much less approval.

    And some of his plans are pretty screwy…

    “White House officials have signaled that Mr. Obama is likely to propose ideas that haven’t been widely discussed in public, such as a plan to encourage target shooters to lock up their guns at target ranges rather than keep them at home”.

    http://professional.wsj.com/ar…..16162.html

    Yes, Obama does want to take away your guns.

    1. Obama is likely to propose ideas that haven’t been widely discussed in public

      Check back in a while, and be astounded at the understated prescience.

      1. It’s interesting the way they worded that, too: “White House officials have signaled that Mr. Obama is likely to propose…”

        That “signal” word is interesting. Obama sends “signals”? I guess we shouldn’t take anything he says literally.

        I guess we’re just supposed to learn how to read the signals he sends us through the media.

        Actually, I think libertarians are already pretty good at reading those signals. The verbiage of what he says is mostly there to provide cover.

    2. Like when Reagan signed the Mulford Act? Wait, that was real and not imaginary.

      1. Why do you think Reagan doing something justifies Obama do the same?

        Is Ronald Reagan your hero or something?

          1. I always found Mo annoying but I never saw a reason to hate him or wish him ill. If Mo has turned into shreek, I really worry about him. I wouldn’t wish insanity on anyone. He has clearly gone to a really dark and stupid place.

            1. shriek has been pouring on “the right does it too” non-sequiturs as of late.

              1. I would need to see some evidence to back up this claim. Evidence which I’ve asked for three times now. Otherwise you’re just smearing.

            2. Mo’s just fine.

              I can’t speak for what he thinks, but if I were Egyptian, and I’d lived through all the horrible shit a lot of people have said about Arabs and Muslims over the last 10 years in the name of Republicans, I’d probably be a lot more hostile to them than he is.

              Meanwhile, far as I can tell, he’s as libertarian as any one of us on a whole host of issues. Mo’s not Shrike by any stretch.

              1. I can’t speak for what he thinks, but if I were Egyptian, and I’d lived through all the horrible shit a lot of people have said about Arabs and Muslims over the last 10 years in the name of Republicans

                Ken that is so stupid as to be beneath response. It is also racist as hell since it assumes that every Arab Muslim thinks exactly the same way and feels some kind of connection to other Arabs and Muslims. Stop it.

                1. No, actually, I was speaking specifically about how I think I’d feel in that situation.

                  Read it again, this time taking what I wrote into consideration rather than the voices in your head.

                  1. Ken it is still stupid. Since when is the war on terror in the “name of Republicans”? As if Democrats didn’t vote for it and turn it up to 11 once they were in power. To assume that an Arab is likely to be an ignorant liberal because of the war on terror or radical Islam or whatever you want to call it, is an insult to Arabs. They can’t think for themselves? They can’t read the newspaper? They still think George Bush is President?

                    1. I didn’t say anything about the War on Terror–not that the War on Terror is especially popular with that group of people either.

                      Is it really necessary to argue about whether Arabs and Muslims perceive Republicans as being more hostile to them?

                      I’m not talking about Republican politicians, in particular; I’m talking about among the general population.

                    2. Is it really necessary to argue about whether Arabs and Muslims perceive Republicans as being more hostile to them?

                      After Obama compiling a worse record in that regard than Bush, yes I would say it is.

                    3. John, I was put in my place the other day by Warty when I said I thought you supported double-tapping drone attacks because they were legal since the first responders weren’t acting officially and therefore weren’t afforded Geneva protections. Was I right in that assessment, or was Warty right when you said double-tapping drone attacks are always wrong?

                      This is a serious question, by the way. I hate it when people mischaracterize others and don’t want to be guilty of putting words into someone else’s mouth.

                    4. Double tapping is wrong. It is a war crime. There is an entire thread on Hit and Run where I say as much. I have never and will never defend that as legal. That is a war crime.

                    5. Thanks for clearing that up and I apologize for my mischaracterization over the weekend.

                    6. This may come as a shock to you, but blacks and Latinos tend to perceive Republicans as being hostile to them, too!

                      Seriously.

                      So do gay people.

        1. Tu quoque is all he knows.

      2. Reminder. This is nothing more than a stiff, rubout soaked sock that only craves responses. Please don’t feed it.

        1. It took a while, but I have adopted this stance as the most sensible one to take.

          1. It took me awhile too, LTC.

      3. Huh? Did you run out of Boooosh did it excuses for your master?

    3. such as a plan to encourage target shooters to lock up their guns at target ranges rather than keep them at home

      Yeah. That’s gonna happen.

      1. I said the same thing about the individual mandate.

        I said the same thing about him using TARP money to nationalize GM.

  22. “W.H. Releases Letters from Little Kids Pleading for Gun Control”

    http://www.weeklystandard.com/…..96099.html

    He said the President’s near!

    1. Children pleading for gun control–isn’t that sweet?

      They want Obama to keep them safe from lunatics, but the gun owners won’t let him!

      Meanwhile, who’s trying to flush those kids’ freedoms down the toilet?

      Obama, that’s who.

      P.S. Obama has killed dozens of children with drone strikes, and he kept ordering drone strikes after the first batch of children were killed, too!

      Somebody should tell the kids writing those letters–Obama kills children.

      1. “W.H. Releases Letters from Little Kids Pleading for Gun Control an End to MurderDrones

        1. Even if the White House got those letters, they’d never release them!

          Bush Jr. and Obama really took propaganda to levels we didn’t see in this country since the ’50s and ’60s.

          After Watergate, a lot of people became cynical, and I think I prefer that–to people being so easily manipulated by propaganda masquerading as news.

    2. Fuck you, cut spending. And school lunch programs.

    3. “Let me be clear. Today I am issuing Executive Order FUTY-11 that immediately allows any US resident over the age of 4 to vote.”

    4. How many of those children were bullied into it by teachers?

        1. Nah; this sounds organized.

          I remember when the space shuttle Challenger exploded. I was in 8th grade at the time, and since there was a teacher aboard the Challenger, the school wanted everybody to sign a condolence card during lunch period. (They didn’t give a damn about the six non-teachers who died.) I, being the lazy git that I am, didn’t feel like signing, but made the stupid move of telling the adults I hadn’t signed.

          If I knew then what I know now, I would have signed with a message saying I was bullied into it, and that forcing students to sign such a thing is morally evil.

          But that’s why I can totally see this being something teachers organized, and not parents. Unless you’re suggesting the parents wrote forged letters. That I could see happening.

          1. I’m just thinking, no kid is doing it on his own, so it’s either the teachers or the parents.

            1. Kid’s tend to imitate the political views of their parents. I’d bet the parents have more to do with it. I wonder how many letters he got from kids in support of gun rights (most likely also initiated by parents)? Pretty sure we’ll never know that.

      1. When I was in 3rd grade, it was mandatory that we write to Reagan. It was part of our grade.

        1. Could you write “Fuck You Cut Spending”?

      2. ^This^ happens a lot. Just visit any public school just before a school levy is up for vote; the walls will be lined with badly written essays begging voters to pass the levy, chock full of teacher-union bellyfeel.

        1. Kids are stupid, but in a forgivable way, so it is really easy to use their letters/voices, especially when just slightly wrong, as a political wedge issue.

          That last sentence had too damn many commas.

        2. Not to mention the letters to the editor that all display the same format.

    5. How appropriate, since we’ve been ruled by people with the reasoning capacity of children for a very long time.

    6. White House spokesman Jay Carney announced yesterday that Obama will be surrounded by little kids when he announces his gun proposal later today.

      What a giant piece of shit. He deserves to get pilloried for this. I have trouble believing people are stupid enough to buy into this shit, and yet it happens everyday. I guess if you want to believe something badly enough, then you can believe anything.

    7. You know who else surrounds themselves with children before they go on the offensive?

      1. Michael Jackson?

        1. dammit ifh, you won before I could even try my own answer 🙁

      2. Nicholas of Cologne? Stephan of Cloyes?

  23. It’s okay that I find it weird that Jezebel, who in every other aspect loves regulation, seems skeptical of the new LA porn-condom law?

    Our bodies, Our Choice
    Your Wallet, My Choice

    1. Maybe the comments are skeptical, but the article isn’t:

      As for public health risks, a recent study by the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health found that adult actors, 28% of whom tested positive for gonorrhea or chlamydia, suffer higher rates of STDs than Nevada prostitutes. Call me a prude, but given these high rates, in an ideal world, all counties, in all the states in all the countries in the world would pass a law like this. Unlikely, but a girl can fantasize.

      Yes, what a hot fantasy. Oh baby.

      1. If that happened, if you made a porn film with your girlfriend in your bedroom and posted it on the internet, the government would tell you you had to wear a condom while making it. So much for keeping the government out of your bedroom.

        1. Ergo, “Obama wants to ban porn!” to John.

          1. Sockpuppet, people. Please ignore, with extreme prejudice.

    2. I love it when the commenters actually disagree with each other; you get to see the cognitive dissonance acted out right in front of you. Not to mention the naked totalitarianism:

      And so what if someone complains that condoms somehow mean that it’s harder for an 18 year old girl to take 3 dicks in the butt at once? Is that really a problem? Porn has gone from being tame to extreme in only a few decades. When will it end? Why is it a problem that porn scenes will have to be shorter or filming will have to be a little less frequent if indeed serious infections can be quite easily prevented? There are regulations on how much pilots and truck drivers can work and if a little less filming is part of the package of reasonable efforts to lower infection rates in this workforce, why is that a problem?

      Why do you need high-cap mags? Why do you need triple-anal???

      1. I like the idea that both of these should be options for any and all willing to indulge…

      2. Ban scary black assault penises!

        1. And penises with telescoping stocks!

          1. Well, Rich, that does sound kind of scary.

          2. I’ve always been partial to pistol grips and barrel shrouds, myself.

          3. I read that as socks at first and thought it was a clever reference to a condom with undertones of the War ON GUNZZ!

            Need more coffee.

      3. I didn’t know you were into triple-anal, nicole. :-p

        (SLD about this being why there are no female libertarians, yada yada yada.)

      4. Yeah, I’m one of the only ones in this business who will do DVDA

      5. Is it really naked totalitarianism if it’s wearing a condom?

  24. French troops in Mali are heading north…

    French troops deployed abroad are trained to march back toward France.

    1. It is a trick they learned – drop the boys off with the enemy between them and la France, then tell them they get to go home. The enemy will be trampled in the stampede.

  25. http://www.althouse.blogspot.c…..lated.html

    Gun control and superstition. Althouse points out something I have been saying for a while. People naturally for whatever reason have a hard time accepting that there are forces and events in the world that defy explanation. You cannot explain or understand someone going into a grade school and shooting a bunch of kids. But people desperately want to. Religious minded people will blame it on the devil or the will of God. Whatever the lack of scientific rigor of that explanation, it is not the worst explanation because it at least acknowledges that there are some things in the world you can’t explain. But liberals, even the religious ones can’t seem to do that. They like medieval people burning Jews for a bad harvest or a lost war have to find a scapegoat. And guns are just that. We have to figure out a way to get people to stop seeing the world in such crudely mechanistic, there must be an explanation for everything ways.

    1. We have to figure out a way to get people to stop seeing the world in such crudely mechanistic, there must be an explanation for everything ways.

      Good luck. Let me know how that works out for you.

      1. I know. It is like saying we have to figure out a way to stop people from being stupid. I didn’t say we could do it.

    2. That talismanic mode of thought is precisely why children need to grow up surrounded by outside dogs and cats who run hither and yon untethered.

      Find a couple of coyote-exploded kitty corpses in your yard as a child and you’ll soon find that you no longer need an explanation for why terrible things happen or a risible utopian solution to existential terrors that have existed since we crawled out of the ooze.

      1. Yeah. I think growing up on a farm and seeing life and death and nature as it is, rather than how we fantasize it to be is probably a good thing.

        1. But then you’d have to live in flyover country, John. And there’s nothing but racist, uneducated, gun-toting rednecks in flyover country.

        2. I was walking through an old cemetary on the edge of the little town I lived in a few years ago. There was a set of headstones for a family from the late 1800s. There were three tiny headstones for babies that all died before they were a month old. We have forgotten as a society that half of all kids used to die before they made it to 6 years old. Now a child’s death is rare, so it is scary.

          1. Yep. People used to have 8 kids and accept that 2 or 3 would make it to adulthood.

    3. “I don’t like Mondays” is as good an explanation as there is for inexplicable violence. Why do people look for a rational explanation? Is there a “reason” for the school shooting that would cause people to say, “Oh, okay. I get it now.”?

      1. They can see no reasons
        Cos there are no reasons
        What reason do you need to die?

        1. Lord only knows what happends when the silicone chip inside a head gets switched to overload.

    4. We have to figure out a way to get people to stop seeing the world in such crudely mechanistic, there must be an explanation for everything ways.

      So all we gotta do is change human nature.

    5. We have to figure out a way to get people to stop seeing the world in such crudely mechanistic, there must be an explanation for everything ways.

      Why? There may very well be a good explanation for the shooting. People not seeking explanations, but just reacting, or not accepting perfectly good explanations because they’re discomforting, is more of a problem.

    1. it’s really simple: Is this skirt so short the world is your gynaecologist? If not, proceed.

      1. I would say it’s simpler than that:

        Do you want to wear this skirt? If yes, proceed.

        1. Although, in all honesty, it does make your butt look big.

        2. Do you want to wear this skirt? If yes, proceed.

          That’s for a woman.

      2. gynaecologist

        Jesus fucking Christ! What the fuck is that?

        1. In Kentucky, we call ’em “pussy mechanics.”

            1. Maybe in the fancy big city.

              1. Dude, I live in fucking Wilmore.

                1. Hence the joke.

    2. Overthink everything!

      They had an entire article about strategies for pooping at work.

          1. Oh Lord…there are no words.

      1. Beleiev it or not, even relatively sane women have a hard time shitting at work.

  26. http://www.buzzfeed.com/zekejm…..gural-shou

    Former Obama staffers complain of post inauguration cold shoulder. Have some schadenfreude on me.

  27. In Defense of Never Moving On by Brett Hannons

    When I broke up with my last girlfriend, I made it my mission to never look at her Facebook page again. But lately I’ve found myself typing into the search bar, watching her name populate ? lingering ?debating whether it’d be okay if I finally caved and clicked.

    I’m not over her, nor am I really over any of the girls I’ve dated.

    I’m completely okay with that.

    There’s a common conception about breakups: That you’ve only completed the process when you’ve finally moved on. It’s only until you are over someone that you can get going with you new life. Over. A word that’s as abstract as it is irrelevant.

    Alongside this is the related sentiment that it’s not healthy to hold on. That it is wrong, destructive and dangerous to be continually consumed by the people who longer consider you remotely relevant in their life.

    I disagree with that. I don’t believe cavalier indifference for former lovers makes us stronger, more emotionally balanced people. It’s entirely the opposite. The inured and the unavailable, those who can leave their past in the past, are the ones who are off-kilter.

    1. So being a whinny ass narcissist who spends their life obsessing over past failures and slights is now what passes for “on kilter”?

      1. “When I broke up with my last girlfriend”

        What he really means is “was summarily dumped by his only girlfriend ever.”

        1. Ah, so we can hire you as an interpreter, since you can translate from betamale?

          1. It’s not unlike those shrill women who are constantly going on about how happy they are, when in reality they’re pretty fucking miserable.

    2. And you guys were all giving me snark yesterday about not caring about the past. This is what you’re doomed to become!

    3. CRIPPLE FIGHT! World’s funniest human takes on the recent spat between British feminists and trans activists

      Trans women are women, and to say otherwise makes you sound like a batty old dinosaur. It is extremely othering and exclusionary to hold up trans women as a counterexample to “real” women. It’s also in poor taste to exploit an excluded group when you’re part of a famously insular and privileged group yourself (high five, fellow middle class white feminists! Now DON’T HIGH FIVE ANYONE ELSE).

      The idea of a feminist writer using the old “I’m sorry you’re offended”/”Quit being so oversensitive, fatty” gambit against a fellow feminist (especially about something as basic as transphobia) is such a turncoat move that it makes me want to benedict this chick right in the arnolds. The fact that you don’t personally relate to someone’s point of view does not render their point of view invalid. In fact, it probably means that you have some thinking to do. We are flawed. This is how we evolve, and we should approach our evolution with grace rather than defensiveness. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to try.

        1. Also: NEED EDIT BUTTON!

      1. The fact that you don’t personally relate to someone’s point of view does not render their point of view invalid. In fact, it probably means that you have some thinking to do. We are flawed. This is how we evolve, and we should approach our evolution with grace rather than defensiveness. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to try.

        *HEADDESK*

        1. Sadly, cognitive dissonance is not a fatal condition.

      2. We don’t have enough barfmen to mount a proper response to your linkage.

        1. Divert all power to the forward shields! Engineering, how are the dilithium crystals holding up?

  28. http://www.powerlineblog.com/a…..ocrite.php

    Really good NRA ad.

    1. Joe and Mika were in tears over this ad this morning. Unfuckingbelievable.

      1. What is their bitch? That it is true?

  29. http://thehill.com/blogs/hilli…..t-activist

    Even Democrats on the Hill angry about Swartz prosecution. I know it is too much to ask, but could someone in justice maybe just once lose their job for being an asshole?

  30. CRIPPLE FIGHT! World’s funniest human takes on the recent spat between British feminists and trans activists

    Trans women are women, and to say otherwise makes you sound like a batty old dinosaur. It is extremely othering and exclusionary to hold up trans women as a counterexample to “real” women. It’s also in poor taste to exploit an excluded group when you’re part of a famously insular and privileged group yourself (high five, fellow middle class white feminists! Now DON’T HIGH FIVE ANYONE ELSE).

    The idea of a feminist writer using the old “I’m sorry you’re offended”/”Quit being so oversensitive, fatty” gambit against a fellow feminist (especially about something as basic as transphobia) is such a turncoat move that it makes me want to benedict this chick right in the arnolds. The fact that you don’t personally relate to someone’s point of view does not render their point of view invalid. In fact, it probably means that you have some thinking to do. We are flawed. This is how we evolve, and we should approach our evolution with grace rather than defensiveness. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to try.

    1. The fact that you don’t personally relate to someone’s point of view does not render their point of view invalid. In fact, it probably means that you have some thinking to do. We are flawed. This is how we evolve, and we should approach our evolution with grace rather than defensiveness. We don’t have to be perfect, we just have to try.

      *DOUBLE HEADDESK*

    2. As far as Lindy West pieces go, that was one was one of her better ones.

      1. I’m sure her next 1000 articles will be all about how people who don’t agree with her are wrong.

        1. I’m still waiting for her to admit her error about being funny. Then she can get around to her later conclusions.

    3. benedict this chick right in the arnolds

      That’s funny! Because Benedict Arnold was a turncoat, so it’s relevant. I don’t really know what “benedict [a woman] in the arnolds” is supposed to mean, but that doesn’t make it less funny. Because whatever it means, it must be funny, because this is the world’s funniest human.

    4. Trans stuff is too confusing. I can never remember whether a trans-woman started off as a woman or ended up as one. I think people should be whatever they want. If being transgender seems like the right thing for you, then good for you. But it is kind of weird and people are going to see it that way.

  31. When I broke up with my last girlfriend, I made it my mission to never look at her Facebook page again. But lately I’ve found myself typing into the search bar, watching her name populate ? lingering ?debating whether it’d be okay if I finally caved and clicked.

    I’m not over her, nor am I really over any of the girls I’ve dated.

    If you live in New York, and tell your headshrinker this, you can wave goodbye to your guns, assuming the special SWATGRUPPE who come to confiscate them don’t “accidentally” shoot you before they leave.

    1. I predict that one of the biggest unintended consequences from this latest hysterical round of gun grabbing is that it will dramatically reduce the number of people who seek out mental health services, now that people who claim they want to expand access to these services also seek to turn anybody who seeks these services into permanent second-class citizens.

      1. I predict that one of the biggest unintended consequences from this latest hysterical round of gun grabbing is that it will dramatically reduce the number of people who seek out mental health services, now that people who claim they want to expand access to these services also seek to turn anybody who seeks these services into permanent second-class citizens.

        And then blame guns when their plan backfires.

      2. “Un-nintendo consequences”? What does this mean?

        /your benevolent overlords

    2. …assuming the special SWATGRUPPE who come to confiscate them don’t “accidentally” shoot you before they leave

      That’s why you should always have a dog. They’ll shoot the dog and you might escape with only a brutal beating.

  32. Lesbians are tired of you in their bars, straight girls

    Gay bars are not your gilded menageries. Gay people don’t go to gay bars for straight people to gawk and laugh and be shocked over. We go to gay bars to have a moment or hour or night away from never ending waves of straight cultural dominance pitching harshly in the world at large. Underneath the glitter and the go-go dancers lies a purpose, a need for unity, a desire for respite from a culture that is not ours ? the straight culture that dominates every culture in every city in every state in every country.

    Why are you taking that from us? Why must you colonize a rare part of the world that do not belong to you? Is it really so terrible, so discriminatory, of me to ask you not go certain places designated for use by a group that does not include you? Is any separation from you (a majority) by us (a minority) to be perceived as an insult? Can’t it be just a simple truth: the truth that everyone needs a place of their own, and not every place can or should be owned by you?

    The comments are great. “But what about us good straight people?”

    1. So I guess they will be okay if straights kick lesbians out of their bars. I am tired of bull dykes coming into bars and gawking at and hitting on my girlfriend. Go back to your side of the tracks.

    2. Is it really so terrible, so discriminatory, of me to ask you not go certain places designated for use by a group that does not include you?

      HAHA OMG no, it’s not terrible at all, but it is discriminatory, and quite possibly illegal depending on where you live–thanks to people like yourself. So please, kindly fuck off.

      1. No, nicole, it really is terrible.

        1. It is especially terrible when you consider that they would never accord any other group the right to engage in such conduct. They are special and are allowed to discriminate. You are not.

          1. Well I’m not going to get into the Culture War aspect of it. I am sure that if you asked Tonio or our other resident gay libertarians they would find it just as terrible.

            1. They are terrible not every gay person. They are just self entitled narcissists who think the rules of world do not apply to them.

        2. “Terrible” is a little strong for me. Especially considering the way it’s worded there, you could be talking about a private club. I think it could be terrible, but not necessarily.

          1. The Woolworth’s lunch counter was private too.

            1. I was specifying private club as opposed to only private property. I’m not going to say that designating certain places for use by certain people and discouraging other people from going there is always terrible. Racism and bigotry are terrible, freedom of association isn’t, though it can be used with terrible motivations.

          2. I’m fine with her asking straights to fuck off. I wonder if the owners of the establishments will be fine losing the revenue.

            Of course, bachelorette parties are a scourge on every bar, every restaurant and every hotel they descend on.

            1. I’m fine with her asking straights to fuck off. I wonder if the owners of the establishments will be fine losing the revenue.

              The irony would be rather delicious if the bar banned her for being bad for business.

              1. I can see her complaint being more valid in the past, when it was harder to find places to be out; but, of course, back then straights weren’t seeking out gay bars to hang out in.

                The problem she is having stems solely from gaining the societal acceptance gays sought for decades.

                Just open private clubs. Why there aren’t more is beyond me.

              2. That happens. If you own a bar and a bunch of bikers start hanging around scaring off women and other business, you have to kick them out or go out of business. I could see the same being true if a bunch of bull dykes started hanging around harassing straights.

        3. It’s terrible that these bars don’t have the ability to have a sign out front which reads “STRAIGHT PEOPLE NOT WELCOME AND WILL BE REJECTED” and the authority to actually throw out straight people without being subject to various federal anti-discrimination laws. But it’s people like this that have made sure it isn’t possible to exclude whom you will from your own property, so fuck ’em.

          When you don’t believe in property rights, you don’t get to complain about how you can’t exclude whomever you choose from your property.

          1. ^This is a reasonable summation of my thoughts.

          2. What MLG and Sparky said.

          3. “We don’t serve their kind in here!”

            “Huh?”

            “Your straights! They’ll have to go outside.”

            “Sorry R2. 3PO, you can stay.”

        4. are you arguing for the evisceration of private property rights in the name of “public accommodation” claptrap?

    3. Being a god-like figure among men, I once had a bull dyke give me the stink eye for checking out her lipstick girlfriend (who was damn hot). I just laughed at the poor thing. I mean yeah, she may be tough in the world of woman, but it doesn’t take much of a man to counter that. Unfair? sure, but evolution & biology cannot be denied.

      1. I had a girlfriend who had a lesbian for a roommate. She was totally in love with my girlfriend. God did that women hate me and wow did I enjoy the hate.

        1. Lesbian Chubby Chasers.

          Sounds like a good name for a punk band.

          1. My girlfriend was anything but fat. And neither is my wife. This stupid meme is one thing. But please refrain from commenting on any of the actual women in my life or kindly go fuck yourself.

            1. While your anger is justified, John, that is a great band name.

              Like, a group of female punk rockers whose sexuality was ambiguous.

              1. They’re called Bikini Kill.

            2. You know the more you respond the worse it gets.

        2. I had a girlfriend who had a lesbian for a roommate. She was totally in love with my girlfriend. God did that women hate me and wow did I enjoy the hate.

          That’s called throwing a cuntblock, I guess 🙂

          1. The funny part was that the lesbian was actually fairly attractive and her girlfriend was gorgeous. But she still wanted what she couldn’t have I guess.

            1. The funny part was that the lesbian was actually fairly attractive and her girlfriend was gorgeous. But she still wanted what she couldn’t have I guess.

              Too funny. I can only imagine how yummy and sweet her tears were.

    4. Is it really so terrible, so discriminatory, of me to ask you not go certain places designated for use by a group that does not include you?

      The odds the writer applies this reasoning to, say, Augusta National?

    1. Fine, I’ll download it. Happy now?

  33. Lena Dunham is proud to date the man pictured with her

    Jesus, someone needs to reverse-Patty Hearst that poor woman. Look at that guy- what a fucking hipster!

    1. even Damian Francisco would be a step up

      1. Who is she going to date? I am thinking even guys just finishing long prison terms are likely to pass.

    2. There is a long tradition of ugly girls who can’t get real dates serving as beards for gay men. Leave them alone.

    3. But her shirt says she’s with that shrubbery.

  34. Is it really so terrible, so discriminatory, of me to ask you not go certain places designated for use by a group that does not include you?

    You Chinamen get out of here! You don’t see me hanging around in your damned opium dens, do you?

    1. And take your drunken Irish friends with you!!

  35. White House quadruples number of signatures required on petitions for official response

    http://dailycaller.com/2013/01…..-response/

    I am so fucking smart!

    1. He did say that he would have the most transparent administration in history. And, from a certain point of view, he was telling the truth. Like Obi Wan did.

  36. So, how has HBO never done a drama show about a rock band?

    The songs would be tough. But it seems like a great place for drama, and they do a ton of shit that only HBO can show.

    1. The music would ruin it because it would suck no doubt. I think it would be easier to do the same thing about a country band, think ABC’s Nashville with actual sex. Country music is easier to fake than rock.

      1. Yup, pretty much all fake rock made for TV and and film bands suck rancid dog cock.

        You could have them be a cover band, but the licencing rights would be a nightmare and you are stuck telling a certain type of story.

        1. The other problem is that the real lives of Rock Stars are generally stranger and more interesting than any fiction written about them. There have been any number of interesting biographies and memoirs about rock stars, there hasn’t been to my knowledge even a passable novel written about one. I think that is because the truth is stranger and more interesting than the fiction.

          1. But movies about rock stars have worked, so there is that…

            1. That is because the truth is interesting.

          2. That’s actually one of the things that makes “This Is Spinal Tap” such a great movie–because it really is impossible to parody rock stars. You just portray the same shit that rock stars actually do, and people will still think it’s a joke because those guys are on a completely different level of crazy than everyone else.

          1. I think both of them have the luxury of playing something quite akin to country music, in that there are some formal restraints on what constitutes a song in those subgenres.

            Just like it wasn’t hard for Adam Schlesinger to write straight-forward period rock songs for That Thing You Do.

            1. Or the incredible Beatles-esque soundtrack of the Rutles.

              1. All You Need is Cash!!

                I watched the Scorsazi documentary on George Harrison the other night. Even when he was dying, Harrison was willing to re-locate to Switzerland to fuck the British tax collectors. He really is my favorite Beatle.

                1. Agreed. I think Harrison’s songs have held up better than the other Beatles.

                  1. His solo work has. As far as the Beatles go, the Lennon McCarty stuff has held up better. Lennon and McCarty desperately needed each other so they had someone to tell them when their ideas sucked and needed improvement.

                    1. I think McCartney’s solo work and the stuff with Wings is great.

                      In order of post-Beatles careers, the order is:

                      1. McCartney
                      2. Harrison
                      3. Starr
                      4. Lennon

            2. That and the band for both Metalocalypse and Motorcity are filled with epic musicians.

      2. why does it have to be fictional? Imagine HBO buying the rights to the AC/DC Story: The Bon Scott Years. The sheep-shagging on tour set to Whole Lotta Rosie would be ace

        1. That would be good. But who plays ACDC? it is really hard to get an actor to play someone everyone knows.

          1. Jeepers, a Bon Scott movie is in pre-production! But it’s being done by Americans, so it will stuff up the Australian details and accents. Not that you care, but we do

            1. In a just world ACDC would be much more highly thought of than the Sex Pistols. The Bon Scott ACDC records were so much more punk and so much better than anything done by that actual punk bands that get so much love from the critics.

              1. ACDC is more highly thought of than the Sex Pistols.

                1. Only by people who know better Rob. But not by music critics.

                  1. John – you are far too old to still be paying attention to critics or pundits in any field.

              2. Does anyone care about the Sex Pistols anymore? Ac/DC certainly gets a lot more radio play. And Angus Young is a damn fine guitar player.

            2. Are you trying to tell me that Crocodile Dundee was not accurate?

              1. Pull up a chair. ifh will throw another shrimp on the barbie and tell you all about it.

            3. Weren’t Bon Scott and the Young brothers Scottish immigrants to Australia?

          2. But who plays ACDC?

            Well, Brian Johnson played Bon Scott in real life…

      3. Yeah. Like, above, I suggested that Lesbian Chubby Chasers would be a great name for a female punk band whose members have ambigious sexuality.

        If you could get the right music and attractive people as the band members… holy shit is that a good HBO show. All you need is a woman in a top creative spot to get the lesbians (who will eat up anything with lesbians in it- see Glee) and the feminists to see all the sex as empowering.

        But punk is a tough genre. I think it would be much easier to cast a some hot 20 somethings who can sing for a country show and just hire a good song writer.

        1. lesbians (who will eat out anything with lesbians in it)

          FIFY

        2. Do a thinly veiled fictionalization of the GoGos. Good looking women, late 70s and early 80s excess, drama, sex, money, drugs. It has the whole package.

          1. This is a good idea. And get Jane Wiedlin to write the music; she’s been active in the movie and TV business.

            1. With Wiedlin involved, there will be some kinky sex scenes too.

              1. That is what it would make it so interesting. Half the group was on smack and the other half was doing kinky sex. How could a show like that fail?

                1. Surely some where into both?

        3. Series version of Velvet Goldmine?

        4. I don’t think punk would be that tough to fake, since it is lacking in a lot of actual talent and substance. Ramones excepted.

          1. They could write all the songs for a season in about half an hour.

  37. http://www.buzzfeed.com/rosieg…..conflict-b

    The media made fun of Mitt Romney for mentioning Mali as a possible area of conflict during the third Presidential debate. Turns out Romney was getting intelligence briefings from the White House and as we know now was speaking the truth. Our current media really is the most retarded and awful class of people.

    1. So, what happens after this ragtag band of Islamists beat the living shit out of the frogs and then their bros start blowing up stuff in Paris? Do we have to save them, again?

      1. Probably. We are probably better off giving them logistical and air support so there is some hope of them doing the job right than we are letting them go in there on their own and get their ass kicked and dragging us into a bigger problem later.

        1. Probably. We are probably better off giving them logistical and air support so there is some hope of them doing the job right

          What exactly is our justification for this job that is worth doing right?

          1. Read about these assholes. They need killing. They are taking over the entire country and terrorizing everyone. They are just vermin. It is not our responsibility to kill all the vermin in the world. But we shouldn’t feel bad about the vermin we do kill.

            1. I have read about them, and I still do not see any justification for us being involved.

              And I will never believe that the reason the French, or the US would be getting involved has anything to do with humane reasons.

              We are perfectly fine with people slaughtering other people as long as we don’t see some political reason to intervene.

              1. France feels some vestigal responsibility to their former colonies, for reasons that are unclear to me. I dunno wtf it has to do with us. Despite everybody pretending, we aren’t the world police.

      2. Won’t happen. A bunch of rabble with mere guns can’t beat a Real Army?. Which is why we need to abolish the Second Amendment. Or something.

    2. I’m listening to some Feynman lectures on my commute, and he did this bit on curved space where he used an analogy of bugs on a hot plate, with metal rulers that expanded with the heat (which changed depending on where you were in relation to the heat source). Because of that, measuring accurately would be tough if all you had were metal rulers.

      All we have are metal rulers when it comes to getting accurate information about our government.

    3. Disagree. They are a (albeit small) step higher than the politicians and government wonks who they cover.

  38. Just open private clubs.

    But then there is a membership list just begging to be published.

    1. Other than Roger Federer, how many people are even still in the closet?

      Besides, not all gay bars have to be private. The skeezy dive bars for DL hook-ups don’t have a problem with “straights.”

      1. The President, whoever that guy is who is using Lena Dunham as a beard, Tom Brady. There are three.

        1. various famous Scientologists. That’s a couple more

          1. You are so sued.

      2. Other than Roger Federer, how many people are even still in the closet?

        Jesus Christ, I really have a problem. I LOVE FEDERER AND I WANT HIM TO BE MINE!

        1. If he’s gay, you’re out of luck
          If he’s straight, his wife and kids have first dibs on him

          Soz nicole …

          1. I thought Anna Wintour had first dibs?

            1. Federer is dating Anna Wintour. Good God he must be gay.

              1. No, I don’t think he’s dating her, I think she likes having young studs around her and pays them with tons of PR and probably cash.

                1. How debased and desperate would you have to be to hang around that hag? I know you lover her Kristen. And maybe she is a great editor and business woman. But as a straight guy I have to be honest, not even with Bea Arther’s dick.

              2. No of course not – this is his wife

                1. looking at her pics[esp. the candid ‘on the streets’ pics], first thought in my mind…..BALL BREAKER………even if hes straight, hes not head of his household…..jus’ saying…..

        2. Do you hope he makes love with the same robotic precision? Do you long to hear him scream “NEIN!” when he “misses a shot.”

          1. You can’t fool me – you’re recycling your Steffi Graf fantasy. Complete with the original pronouns*

            * Just teasing – I love Steffi

            1. Did you ever read The Fermata by Nicholson Baker?

              1. Pretty much stopped reading literature as a result of doing a degree in it, but I understand this book is a sticky-fingered delight for self-pleasurers with the control fantasies of the impotent

                1. Yes, but there is a scene of epochal masturbation set to the squeals, grunts and anguished cries of a women’s tennis match.

                  Even that soft, sub-fartal pfft of a can of tennis balls opening sometimes does it for me.

                2. Pretty much stopped reading literature as a result of doing a degree in it . . .

                  Holy Jesus, a kindred spirit. I read for a fucking living. The very last thing I wanted to do after reading a fuck load of medieval literature and various shit written about medieval literature was to come home and fucking read.

                  1. I have a friend who’s the same. We mostly read non-fiction now, and think it’s a combination of:

                    * realising from our peers in class how only reading fiction makes you utterly idiotic (so in revulsion we switched)

                    * reading everything as if it’s a text to be analysed for class, and not just for pleasure

                    There was another reason we came up with, but can’t remember it at the moment…

                  2. I haven’t read a word of philosophy since college. Read history and fiction now.

          2. Do you hope he makes love with the same robotic precision? Do you long to hear him scream “NEIN!” when he “misses a shot.”

            You say that like other people aren’t turned on by the Swiss.

            1. Meh. Try working for them for a few years.

        3. Nicole, I had to learn to live with the fact that Gabrielle Sabatini didn’t play on my team. I sympathize.

          1. I mean, I’m fine with not having a sexual relationship with a celebrity I was never going to meet to begin with, but I’m like a fucking Belieber or something the way I just go for them like that.

            1. Just don’t starting cutting yourself, nicole.

  39. how many people are even still in the closet?

    I suspect lots and lots. Especially the nameless faceless ones who won’t get a book deal or an invitation to hang their dirty laundry on the back of Oprah’s couch.

  40. I love Steffi

    We all love Steffi.

  41. Watch your mouth!
    “Politics, media can’t silence gun jargon”
    From the article:
    “The ubiquitous nature of such language has caused people on both sides of the emotional debate in recent weeks to take back, or at least think twice about the phrases they use,…”
    No, it hasn’t, but the bullshit level of grabbers has certainly gotten some attention.
    (originally from the NYT, but):
    http://www.sfgate.com/nation/a…..197443.php

    1. Well, then, it’s obvious that we need to go full on retard, I am talking Eurotard level retarded, and start banning words.

      1. Hey, work up a TARGET list!

  42. Now that the Obozo admin have finished their jumping up and down on the backs of dead children to promote their agenda, it’s time to jump onto the backs of live children.

    For the Childinz

    1. Yeah, and you can rest assured those letters were written without any ‘help’ from oh, so, concerned parents and oh, so wonderful teachers.
      Kids: The new TV props! Use ’em often; they’re cheap AND effective!
      (looks like it’s just you and me down the bottom of the page, H)

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