23 Proposals on Guns from Obama, Mali Islamists Raid BP Oil Field in Algeria, Whole Foods CEO Calls Obamacare Fascist: P.M. Links


  • target practice

    President Obama presented a 23 step program for gun control that includes proposals for an "assault weapons" ban, a 10-round limit on magazine capacity and more background checks. The proposals have a price tag of $500 million. A second Republican congressman says impeachment ought to be on the table in response to executive actions restricting gun rights. The NRA, meanwhile, responded with a new fundraising appeal.

  • Al-Qaeda-linked militants from Mali took more than 40 hostages, including several Americans, after raiding a BP oil field on the Algerian side of the Algeria-Libya border.
  • Defense Secretary nominee Chuck Hagel's confirmation hearings at the Senate Armed Services Committee is scheduled for January 31.
  • Lance Armstrong's admission of using performance-enhancing drugs is not enough for some anti-doping authorities. They want him to testify under oath before being allowed to compete again.
  • The CEO of Whole Foods explained on NPR that he thought Obamacare was a form of fascism, not socialism.
  • Interior Secretary Ken Salazar is the latest member of the Obama administration heading for the exit.

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NEXT: Ken Salazar Stepping Down from Department of Interior

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  1. The CEO of Whole Foods explained on NPR that he thought Obamacare was a form of fascism, not socialism.

    A fresh fit is about to be pitched.

    1. Uh oh, several of his existing customers will threaten to not shop there and then will quietly continue to do so!

      1. And most damning of all, libertarians might (with a lot of blushing and refusal to look at other people) start shopping there to throw this guy some money in support.

        1. If you don’t grow your own food, you’re a cosmotarian.

    2. Yglesias’s post on Slate is actually reasonable. And the source Think Progress post is incorrect and deceitful, but not shrill about it.

      I am pleasantly surprised. Which is very sad.

    3. Socialist, Fascist, wtf. While the differences are certainly demonstrable in theory, it’s all the same in the end. A political elite class that crushes its citizens underfoot by any means available, for their own benefit and amusement.

      It doesn’t really matter what Obama is. What matters is that he has to be stopped.

      1. It’s not the same in the end at all. Socialism ends with government ownership of the means of production.

        Fascism ends with government planning and closely regulating privately owned means of production.

        While I find them both repulsive, there is a big difference.

        1. And I’d argue that Obamacare is more fascist than socialist.

          Single-payer is probably more socialist than fascist.

          1. Single-payer is probably more socialist than fascist.

            It’s both. It depends on how Nationalistic the country is that is employing that means of medical care delivery.

            In fact, myself and Dr. Podruga Groovova had a lengthy (and spirited, but no borshh pans made an appearance) about this very subject.

            1. In fact, myself and Dr. Podruga Groovova had a lengthy (and spirited, but no borshh pans made an appearance) about this very subject.

              I think there’s a direct object missing here. :-p

        2. It’s all the same as far are the oppressed citizen, who has been stipped of all rights, is concerned.

          1. stripped

        3. Fascism ends with government planning and closely regulating privately owned means of production.

          And what if you don’t want to go along with their plans? You’ll find out who really owns it.

          You’ve stated a distinction without a difference. At their root, fascism and socialism have the same principle: Your property is not yours.

      2. Socialist, Fascist, wtf.

        This is a key difference in the NPR audience.

        They typically view socialism as a positive thing, something that they shouldn’t be ashamed of and think that we should be moving towards as a form of gubmint.

        Fascism, OTOH, is goose steppin’ and killin’ jews.

        Let the outraged equivocation of the comments section, begin.

        1. Yeah, the trouble with calling something Fascist, even when accurate, is that most people equate Fascism and Nazism.

        2. Whatever it is we are moving towards, is a lot more like goose steppin than I want anything to do with, no matter what you call it.

          The problem with people like those who would make up most of an NPR audience, is that they apparently lack an ability to look at history and make any kind of association between it and current events. They completely trust the government as being some sort of ultra benevolent savior. Government is their god. They are na?ve, to say the least, but you cannot convince them of this.

          1. That people are still Marxists after the atrocities committed by Marxists every, single, fucking time they get into power, should demonstrate to you the power of the massive rationalization to delude the host into happy thoughts.

            1. From a lot of comments that I see on sites around the web, I am not sure they have to delude themselves very much about that. They are perfectly ok with the government rounding up and exterminating all teabaggers, gun nuts, wingnuts, or assorted other types who do not agree with them. This is of course, being civil.

              1. Hate may not be a family value, but it sure seems like a progressive one.

              2. Exactly. As the saying goes, people on the right thing lefties are naive, people on the left think right wingers are evil.

                1. I think people on the left are evil, what does that make me?

        3. I’ve sort of thought the overt racism of the Nazis, along with the Holocaust, was the best thing that ever happened to fascism as an ideology. It’s like a lizard losing its tail to foil a predator — people think they beat fascism when they beat racism, even though it isn’t really close to the core of the ideology. Meanwhile, actual fascism is free to skitter away and heal up for another go.

    4. Commentators’ heads are exploding on Slate, Thinkprogress and NPR

      1. Video?? Please!!

    5. The commentary at Slate is oddly reasonable.

      Indeed. To many of us, the objectionable quality of fascism had to do with the elimination of political democracy, violent suppression of political dissent, decision to plunge the world into war, and massive genocide. But it is true that fascist governments also favored regulation of private businesses to advance certain public policy goals. Adolf Hitler was also known for his use of expansionary fiscal and monetary policy to revive the depressed German economy, so in a sense you could say Eric Rosengren is the real fascist around these parts. It’s all a question of perspective.

      The comments, however, are as much fun as I was hoping for.

      Ok, so another CEO at the top of the food chain who wants to gripe about those of us who keep him in business by denying options for health care….I’m over it and over whole foods.
      K likes this.
      2 Hours Ago from slate.com ? Reply

      Greg Kapphahn
      I am REALLY sorry there’s not a Whole Food store out here where I live so I can boycott it.
      2 Hours Ago from slate.com ? Reply

      I’d like to know what he calls corporate control of the government, which is pretty much what we have now.
      MsWeezer likes this.

      1. “Greg Kapphahn
        I am REALLY sorry there’s not a Whole Food store out here where I live so I can boycott it.”


        1. Can’t one boycott it from anywhere? Unless, of course, you don’t understand the word boycott.

          1. Will NO ONE point out the sexism implicit in “boycott”?

            PERSON-cott Whole Foods!

            1. I have a boycott in my thoughts…does that make me gay?

              1. If your thoughts are of boys in a cot, then yes, yes it does.

          2. “Can’t one boycott it from anywhere?”

            I hereby boycott Brazilian trannies from my rotation of prostitutes.

        2. “Greg Kapphahn
          I am REALLY sorry there’s not a Whole Food store out here where I live so I can boycott it I could live the hipster experience.”

      2. It sounds to me like they are tacitly admitting to being fascist then trying to say ‘well its really not all thaaaat bad’.

        Exactly where I figured they would go.

      3. Of course, the Slate writer’s admission that fascism would be pretty nifty if not for exterminating the Jews is pretty horrifying, but at least a reporterscum is being honest for once, right?

        1. It is like one had nothing to do with the other. The fact that they wanted a total state is complete separate from their views on Jews.

        2. I’m waiting for the rehabilitation of Benito Mussolini as “the good fascist.”

          Look for it in a statist publication near you.

          1. He did start out as an actual socialist. “He just got a little carried away.”

            1. Hitler’s genocide = Evilest monster since monsters started coming to to come to Eviltown

              Stalin’s genocide = He meant well.

              1. Can’t make a New Soviet Omelet without breaking some eggs.

            2. He actually started out as a union goon and took his act national.

          2. I recently heard Hugo Chavez, referred to as Tropical Mussolini, on Globo-TV. Pronounced ‘Trop-ee-cal’ Mussolini.

            I thought that was pretty good.

          3. I thought that was Franco?

            1. Franco killed too many socialists. (A feature for me, but a bug to the libs)

        3. Yes it is good to see them admit it, but as John points out, they arent horrified by it because they dont see the connection between the nazis politics and what they actually did.

          They think the politics and the actions of fascists are somehow disconnected. They think they are the good fascists.

          1. intentions…all the difference apparently

            1. The road to Auschwitz was paved with good intentions.

              1. And jew bones.

          2. “They think they are the good fascists.”

            Not surprising. All Fascists think they are the good Fascists.

            1. Every devil thinks he is an angel.

              1. Technically…

                1. Technically…. there are two different words because they are two different things.

          3. Of course. Remember, we’ve yet to see “real” Communism. What we’ve seen so far, everywhere, is simply a corrupt version of the pure Communist state.

            Human nature…how does that work again?

      4. I like all the complaints that he’s just whining about having to provide healthcare to employess*, when Whole Foods is known for its good health plan, especially considering the (lack of) skill of its employees.

        *though of course as much as they wish otherwise, it doesn’t force employers to give coverage — they can pay the penalty tax if they want, and many probably will

      5. “Denying options”?!? Good heavens no, surely not that?

      6. Alberto Knox
        this is correct. while i don’t agree with him that the ACA is a bad thing, he at least is using the correct terminology.
        susanl and Joe Davey like this.

        This is an amazingly good step. I’m seriously thrilled to see the Left beginning to admit that it’s a fascist movement.

        1. This is an amazingly good step. I’m seriously thrilled to see the Left beginning to admit that it’s a fascist movement.

          No, Warty. They will simply rehabilitate the term to suit their needs. Think “Stockholm Syndrome”.

          Happens every time it’s tried. Euro-landia depends on it, unfortunately. Even my new home.-((((

          1. Compassionate fascism.

            1. Compascism

              1. Excellent. I’d file a trademark.

        2. “I’m seriously thrilled to see the Left beginning to admit that it’s a fascist movement.”

          I am not because I know what the next steps in this evolution are.

          This road invariably leads to the gulag and the firing squad they either dont know that or wont admit it….yet.

          1. This road invariably leads to the gulag and the firing squad they either dont know that or wont admit it….yet

            Lots of them know it, and they are fine with it, because afterall, like all other religions and great movements of social justice, it’s only you heretics that are going to be burned, unlike they, who are the ‘chosen’ ones. The leftists really do think like this, there are posts everywhere online confirming it.

          2. Well, our one hope is that the core progressive movement is small and insular enough that when they come out of the closet and proudly announce that they’ve come to terms with being fascist, assuming that everyone but rednecks are basically like them, they end up driven out of polite society forever.

        3. I wonder if George Bush had forced poor people and small business to buy healthcare plans from megacorporate donors, would the Left not be calling it fascist?

          The funniest thing for me is that Paul Ryan, GWB, etc. were the ones who supported a socialistic solution with the Medicare Part D expansion, while the Democrats were correctly criticizing it as an irresponsible unfunded mandate.

          What a tragicomedy.

          1. Not really, Proprietist. It simply proves to me that they have been on the basically the same page from the get-go.

            Both wanted this type of arrangement, just disagreed on the implementation, e.g. state level (RomneyCare) v. national (ObamneyCare).

          2. The majority of criticism I remember from the Democrats on the Medicare Part D expansion was that it wasn’t big enough.

    6. God damn it. Just like the last time he pissed off all those lefties, I want to shop there just to show support.

      Prices may blow sometimes, but they better be glad they’ve got a good beer selection.

    1. I’ll go ahead and get this out of the way…


    2. But exploiting stereotypes of poor white people is just a-ok.

      1. Of course it’s OK. Whites are not a minority group that was subjected to slavery for thousands of years. Whites are capable of sticking up for themselves and don’t need a kindly patron to do so.

        1. And blacks apparently are incapable of sticking up for themselves? Nothing white supremacist about that attitude.

          1. Considering the protest and petitions originated in the Black community, I don’t see what your belly-aching is about.

            1. It wasn’t white liberals for once?

              1. Amazingly, yes.

                1. If the white trash don’t want to complain, the too bad.

                  1. John, who do you think watches the white trash stereotypes? White redneck types love making fun of themselves, and it is nothing new. Ever see Hee Haw?

                    1. White redneck types love making fun of themselves, and it is nothing new. Ever see Hee Haw?

                      Look for that to disappear as the Oppression Olympics continues and the fedgov increasingly hands out free shit for medals.

          2. They also need a kindly patron John. Perhaps there was a bit of sarcasm you (and I) missed?

    3. How is Antonio Cromartie going to support his children now?

      1. And here I thought it was about Shawn Kemp’s travels.

  2. President Obama presented a 23 step program for gun control that includes proposals for an “assault weapons” ban, a 10-round limit on magazine capacity and more background checks.

    How sad that His Majesty has to go begging to Congress to get his decrees.

  3. New Yorkers beat the fuck out of tourist. For once, they aren’t cops.

    1. Unpossible! There is no crime in NYC!, what with their tough gun laws.

      Maybe they need to ban baseball bats, and tire irons, and fists, and feet.

    2. This happened in the Village? Wow.

      1. It is like Bloomburg wants to be Mayor Dinkins.

    3. McCarron’s assailants ran to the trunk of a black car and returned with the motley array of weapons..

      People don’t beat others to within an inch of their lives, motley arrays of weapons do!

      1. Always with the racist cars.

      2. BAN BLACK CARS!!!

    4. Beat the shit out of that Masshole!

      Now whose baseball team “sucks”, eh?

      1. Something tells me he was a cocksure piece of shit who didn’t think twice about mouthing off to the locals at 5 AM.


    5. It would only have been a real tragedy if he had a gun and threatened or shot his attackers.

  4. Jackie Chan, martial arts star and sometime communist China bootlicker, says US is the most corrupt country in the world.

    1. I am having a really difficult time coming up with a good counter argument against him…. I need some help here…

      1. Yeah, in a way I can’t really argue against him, but then again he has a history of making some authoritarian remarks in support of the PRC, particularly that the Chinese don’t need that many freedoms and criticizing human rights activists in China.

        1. I think the Chinese are more upfront about their authoritarianism, while there’s a lot of good sounding rhetoric out of US politicians, so the corruption accusation makes sense.

      2. I used to work with a Chinese guy who had an engineering PhD and thought it was awful that younger generations of Taiwanese were growing up believing they weren’t Chinese. You can’t educate the authoritarianism out of some people.

        1. It’s interesting to speak with Chinese and Chinese-Americans about the Taiwan/ROC issue.

          One of my most memorable (and telling) instances was asking an int’l student from the PRC what he thought, and him replying that “I don’t know. I don’t talk about it; my opinion doesn’t really matter anyway”.

          1. The propaganda machine was cranked way up after Tiananmen Square, with sometimes disturbingly successful results.

        2. The vast majority of Taiwanese people are ethnically Han Chinese, and there is a split between generations as to whether to primarily identify as Chinese or Taiwanese. For example, a family friend from Taiwan (in his late 40’s) primarily identifies as Chinese and would like to see reunification if/when China eventually ditches communism. The younger generation is more prone to identify as Taiwanese and support permanent independence.

      3. I need some help here…

        Just say he is confusing real people with the characters he came up against in his “Rush Hour” movies. And bring up those horrible V8 smoothies he pitches.

        Remind me again why anyone should give a fuck about what some dimwitted actor says?

      4. Shanghai versus Chicago? Take a pick. Same motives for public sector trash, even similar history in migration and crime patterns, but I’ve long suspected Chan of being a chauvinist fuckhead, so I doubt if any comparative analysis was ever done on his part.

      5. We, ah, well… Sometimes we punish corrupt politicians and their cronies. Except John Corzine, “Cold Cash” Jefferson, Jim McGreevey, Bob Torricelli, Gary Studds, Jesse Jackson Jr….

        Not sure that helped.

      6. He said “most corrupt in the world,” not merely “corrupt.” Counter-arguments shouldn’t be that hard.

        1. Yeah; there are plenty of corrupt shithole countries that are far worse than the United States. Just off the top of my head: North Korea, Cuba, Venezuela, China, Russia, damn near every African nation, most middle eastern nations, etc. etc. etc.

          Not that it’s all pixie dust and fairies here, but we aren’t even near the bottom of the list.

          1. Really, you think the average NK crony has the balls to steal from the Dear Leader? Didn’t they recently execute some minister with a mortar?

            1. Who says they’d be stealing from Dear Reader? Corrupt government officials usually steal from the proles.

    2. Keep in mind Jackie Chan said this on Chinese state TV. Is it really fair to blame the hostage for reading the statement his captors gave him at gunpoint?

  5. FL dog runs man over.

    A man has died after a dog jumped into a van, stepped on the accelerator and struck him as he opened a gate outside a Florida Panhandle home, according to officials.

    The Florida Highway Patrol says Iris Fortner, 56, and James Campbell, 68, were backing into their driveway at their home in Cantonment on Monday when Campbell got out of the passenger side of the vehicle to open the metal gates.

    Troopers said Fortner opened the driver’s door to see where Campbell was standing, and that’s when Fortner’s large boxer bull dog jumped into the car and pressed the accelerator.

    1. No one said anything about speed bumping the hand that feeds you.

    2. I could believe it if a pig had done it….

    3. You SF’d the link.

        1. You’re doing better than the dude who got run over.

    4. So she left a vehicle IN GEAR to see what was going on.

    1. Take a load off, Bruce Willis.

    2. Massive bullet dodged.

      1. essentially no chance of striking Earth in 2036.

        They’re only saying that because the collision would have occurred during the last year of Obama’s 8th term, and they know that his celestial powers would prevent Earth from any damage.

        1. Jeez, don’t even joke about that.

    3. Read between the lines. It is definitely going to hit 2036. However, you can be assured safe passage away from the destruction by joining my doomsday cult. Send me your money.

      1. Do you serve pudding? And what’s your position on castration?

        1. Unfortunately, the answers to both those questions are linked.

    4. However, it has a 82% chance of striking in 2039. 😉

    5. The President has saved us again!

    6. “Essentially”

      So it’s not zero?

      1. It’s never zero. There’s always a tiny chance that it could be gravitationally effected in some way we aren’t able to predict, or it could be struck by another asteroid and have it’s course changed by just enough to hit us.

  6. Gun grabbers go looking for a new one. Why would they have to find a new phrase?

    Language in politics can be a powerful thing, shaping perceptions and framing the terms of debate. When President Obama and Vice President Biden announced the administration’s new gun proposals Wednesday, they didn’t use the words “gun control” a single time. Instead, they spoke over and over about “gun violence,” “reducing gun violence,” and “gun-violence legislation.”

    1. The progs (or TEAM PROJECTION if you rather) must be smarter than they seem because they are masters at defining the terms and framing issues the way they want to.

      I was just thinking today how odd it is that people keep saying “public health” in connection with gun control. Given even a moment’s thought, it’s absurd on its face. Yet the blather about public health continues apace.

      1. Yeah, I thought it was absurd on its face to talk about public health in connection with obesity, too, but (almost) no one else seems to bat an eye.

        1. Meanwhile Nicole, actual public health problems like bedbugs, drug resistant contagious diseases and such go completely unnoticed and unaddressed. Sorry about those bed bugs and that resistant strain of TB you picked up. But you can’t buy a gun and you are restricted to a 20 ounce soda. Wasn’t it worth it?

        2. See, humans* have bodies (most; no need to microaggress against the corporeally-challenged), so anything relating to or involving those bodies = Public Health! Don’t you feel healthier? I do. Let’s Move!

          1. Unless a vagina, penis, or uterus is involved.

            1. You mean a homosexual’s penis, of course.

      2. They’ve done a great job convincing people that conservative talk radio isn’t discussion of news topics and politics, it is the “Right Wing Entertainment Complex.” It is thus fluffy and easily dismissed, like an episode of “Entertainment Tonight.”

        1. They’ve done a great job convincing people that conservative talk radio isn’t discussion of news topics and politics

          No, I’m pretty sure that Republican talk radio’s reliance on making crap up, resorting to the most obvious emotional appeals, and repeating whatever the current Team Red line as gospel is what’s convinced most people isn’t a discussion of news topics and politics.

          The solution to crappy left wing propaganda isn’t equally crappy right wing propaganda.

          It is thus fluffy and easily dismissed, like an episode of “Entertainment Tonight.”

          Actually, I find Entertainment Tonight far more journalistically credible then most of talk radio.

    2. I post this all the time, but the world refuses to listen to me.

      Politics and the English Language

      1. It reads better (meaning flows better, syntactically speaking) in Russk for some reason.

    3. Gun grabbers go looking for a new one.

      Violence change.

    4. Obama is quite a piece of work, smug expressions during his pregnant pauses, complaints that others are ginning up fear, high capacity strawman generator at 100%:


    5. They did win one battle with the term ‘assault weapon’, which is never going anywhere.

      I’ve taken to not using the term ‘gun violence’ or ‘knife violence’, but rather ‘violence involving guns’, ‘violence involving knives’

    1. Teledildonics is the future.

    2. Finally something to distract Slate readers from guns!

  7. Can we leave Ben Affleck behind this time?

    European Space Agency (ESA) is looking for new ideas to help develop a US-European asteroid deflection mission. With a target date of October, 2022, the purpose of the mission is to send a pair of spacecraft to a near-Earth asteroid where one will impact it while the other observes the effect.

    1. Nice try ESA, been there, done that.


  8. Ontario Court Rejects U.S. Government Demand for Full Access to Megaupload Servers Seized in Canada

    Last week, an Ontario court rejected a request to send mirror-imaged copies of 32 computer servers to authorities in the U.S., indicating that a more refined order is needed.

    1. Uh oh, looks like the invasion of Canuckistan is imminent.

      1. Noit “invasion”, rather “annexation”. The terms used are important to fram the issure.

        We are merely securing our northern border, protecting American lives, and ending tyrrany by bringing freedom and democracy to a country that has languished far too long under the boot of a foreign despot.

  9. http://www.foxnews.com/world/2…..twitter_fn

    Egyptian Court sentences fmaily to 15 years for converting from Islam. It is really a good thing we had that Arab Spring to make things all better in Egypt.

    1. Is there ever any good news from that part of the world?

      1. Not for about 1400 years.

    2. It’s disgusting at how immoral and corrupt Egypt has become.

      Sharia is clear that the penalty for apostasy is death!

    3. I thought that was a death sentence.

      Of course, they are going to prison.

    4. John, the Arab Spring is a good thing in the long term.

      They won’t become peacable societies until they learn to self-govern, and stupid shit like this is what you are going to get at the beginning.

      In the U.S. in the 1600’s they were hanging Quakers if they happened to set foot in the wrong state. And the backlash eventually led to religious freedom.

      It would be better if the U.S. opened its doors so the people fleeing religious persecution could come settle here (or wanting to start businesses, or just enjoy a good life for that matter). Then we’d get their best and brightest, and it’s cheaper than giving them 6 billion a year to buy grenades, uniforms and billy clubs to keep the proles in line.

      1. It might be a good thing. Think about this. There is nowhere on earth where Fascism is more discredited than Germany. Germany worked through its fascism and Antisemitism once and for all.

        1. Only legally. There’s plenty of hooligans to prove you wrong.

        2. Get a German good and drunk. It’s still there. The phrase used was “If you had just left us alone, we’d have solved this problem.”

      2. I think tarran is right. What is going on there now sucks, no doubt. But remaining under the control of a dictator, they weren’t going to progress at all.

        I think it is also interesting to look at the state of Christendom when Christianity was about the same age as Islam is now. There were loads of stupid religious wars and people getting killed for having the wrong beliefs then as well. Maybe in another 600 years Islam will have moderated and settled down too.

        1. That’s only as long as we leave them alone, which we won’t. The one thing that I have complete confidence in is the ability of the US to further destabilize the region and create more Talibans.

          Watch this transpire soon as we head into Mali.

    5. It got rid of a dictator, that was good.

      Putting in another, possible worse, government is bad.

      You dont win if you dont try.

    6. It is really a good thing we had that Arab Spring to make things all better in Egypt.


      FYI, or IMHO… US policy of the previous 4 decades, if anything, was roughly aimed at *preventing* that sort of thing

      i mean, when GWB wanted “democracy to bloom” in the ME… he meant more countries *become like Egypt, and become vassal states that keep their mooslim nutties in line

  10. Prvda can’t help but fellate the Dear Leader, the headline on the Huffington Post front page: BOLD

    1. The comments are quite entertaining.

    2. Look, as we all know the most important thing in the world is good self-esteem. What if Obama’s self-esteem went down? That would be TERRIBLE. So, obviously the media needs to laud him, louder and bigger than ever, to keep his self-esteem up, because he knows there are people like the ones here who don’t like him.

      So, really, it’s our fault.

      1. So, really, it’s our fault

        Good. I just need to know how we can make it even more our fault. It’s one of the things that makes me feel best.

    3. They can’t make any money. Their industry is dying. All they have left is whoring themselves out to the powers that be in hopes of a bailout.

    4. I’m truly surprised that they aren’t in arms that he didn’t take more decisive steps via AOs.

      What he ultimately did was nothing but reiterate the typical gun-grabber big 3. It appears more and more that we aren’t going to see any real legislation. No AWB. No mag restrictions.

  11. “Lance Armstrong’s admission of using performance-enhancing drugs is not enough for some anti-doping authorities. They want him to testify under oath before being allowed to compete again.”

    Armstrong goes to the hearing, flips over the table, breaks off a table leg with his performance enhanced hands and uses it to crush the skulls of his persecutors. He eats their raw pituitary glands and sighs with pleasure. He leaves the building, biking faster than the pursuing police helicopter.

    1. Unless you can name more the two famous cyclists who competed before Lance Armstrong did, you have no right to claim to give a fuck about his use of PEDs.

      It is fucking cycling folks. It is not like he cheated at anything that mattered. What is next, the PED scandal at the world Quiddich championship?

      1. What’s a little different about his case is that it appears that every danged cyclist was doping. That doesn’t seem to be the case in professional sports here, where it was (and is) just a significant percentage of people.

        1. Yeah, it is not cheating if everyone is doing it. It is like the Clemons and Bonds cases were not quite peak retard. We had to do Armstrong to go just a bit higher.

          1. And then went a little higher by keeping them out of the BBHOF.

        2. Yeah, apparently the entire sport was dirty and Armstrong, et al., were the ones who figured out how to do it and not get caught. In a competitive regime like that, it seems to me he deserves the wins. In this case, better at doping means better at the sport in toto.

      2. Greg Lemond, and Davis Phinney just to name two who were in the Tour. I caught a stage for my 40th birthday, to see Armstrong. They know how to throw a party, think month long superbowl, but with wine instead of beer.

        I don’t care if he used PEDs, because they all did. I’d just like to see him kill the anti-doping zealots and eat their pituitary glands. They deserve it

        1. Jimbo,

          You have a right to care. The rest of us, not so much.

      3. What is next, the PED scandal at the world Quiddich championship?

        Do you see anyone in this video that looks even remotely like they’re on PEDs?


      4. I can and still dont give a fuck.

    2. I thought he went on Oprah and cried like a little girl.

      1. Yeah, seems like he did, Probably should’ve kept that testicle he lost to cancer. I prefer my story better.

        1. He’d better get those steroids back, or else he’s going to have to race in the little girls league, on a pink bike with training wheels and butterfly stickers.

    3. I’d like to see him go before the comittee and, under oath, say he’s taking his millions and leaving – screw you guys, I’m going home.

  12. “President Obama presented a 23 step program for gun control that includes proposals for…”

    So he hasnt actually done anything.

    1. It seems that Obama fellators are very easily satisfied….I was surprised just how timid this all seemed.



  13. http://www.myfoxny.com/story/2…..deliveries

    SW PA hospital stops delivering babies because of Obamacare. Let the bitter clingers deliver at home.

    1. That’s Johnstown. Johnstown isn’t really part of SW PA. It’s an isolated Murthal nightmare, deep in the heart of darkness.

      1. I am surprised there is not a fully federally funded hospital there.

        1. UPMC rules all in that part of the country. they’re not even AHA members b/c they don’t think they need the clout.

      2. Some good things have come out of Johnstown.

        1. “Scouts?”

  14. ThirdFourth Oregon sheriff sends letter to Biden.

    1. Crap. Now it’s five.

  15. http://www.nydailynews.com/new…..-1.1240933

    Good thing gun control makes everyone safe.

    1. Dude. Upthread.

      1. Yup, already linked.

  16. Missouri lawmaker latest to propose “violent” games tax
    Republican State Representative Diane Franklin of rural Camdenton has introduced House Bill 157 (PDF) that would add a one percent excise tax on the sale of games rated T or above by the ESRB.

    I think we’re going to see legislation meld all the compromised shit the NRA suggested and obvious bad shit from the left. Maybe a national database of violent game players (or bias in judging them for mental health screenings, etc)

  17. Maryland State Police officer responds to a call about a drunk woman, and he enters an adjacent business and shoots her when he sees her with a gun. The cops leave her there pleading for help for 5 hours before they go in and find her dead.

    An internal investigation found that the officers did everything right, even though their version of events was not the same as any other witnesses. Her family is suing.

    1. Apparently, the new protocol for officers to follow, is to just shoot ‘something’ when they arrive on the scene. Doesn’t matter what it is, the person who called them for help, their dog, whatever, as long as they shoot something.

      1. And our political class thinks we should turn in our guns and call the police for help if we have an intruder. I mean even if they actually arrived on time, which never happens, they would be just as likely to shoot us as the criminals.

    2. He fired his weapon and retreated, and a police barricade was set up around the house. More than five hours later, at 5:45 a.m., a state police tactical assault team entered the house and found Harding-Perkins dead.

      five hours? I should respect these cowards why?

      1. At least it said “He fired his weapon” and not “the gun went off”

      2. state police tactical assault team

        Takes ’em 3 seconds when they think there might be a pipe in your sock drawer. Fuck SWAT with a rusty coil of razor wire.

    3. And the cop involved has since been promoted. I truly wish I could find that surprising.

    4. Corbin, who has since been promoted to sergeant, has worked for the state police since July 2002.

      Atta boy!

  18. The black family survived centuries of slavery and generations of Jim Crow, but it has disintegrated in the wake of the liberals’ expansion of the welfare state. Most black children grew up in homes with two parents during all that time, but most grow up with only one parent today.

    – Thomas Sowell


    1. Jason Whitlock, after wiping the wing sauce from his maw, read the article, does not approve.

      1. On Twitter he compared Sowell to the house slave Stephen in Django Unchained.

        1. God is he a fucking scumbag. He used to write about the Chiefs for the Kansas City Star. How he has managed to have a career is beyond me.

          1. He ate his competition

        2. The racism on the left is staggering, isn’t it?

          1. It really is.

        3. Sowell has probably forgotten more about the slavery than Whitlock has ever known.

          I love when a washed up columnist who only has a job because he plays the race card constantly has the nerve to commit character assassination against someone like Sowell.

          I wish that Sowell would strike back at Whitlock but I don’t blame him if he ignores him as not worth the effort, because he clearly isn’t.

    2. “What is not understandable is how so many liberals can blindly ignore 50 years of evidence to the contrary since then.”

      Blindly ignoring is what liberals are best at.

    1. Sounds like a porno plot.

      1. Yes, in the principle’s office the fired teacher tries to ‘persuade’ her female administrative superior to reinstate her.

    2. That is such horseshit. If she was a good teacher who cares?

      1. She wasn’t a good “role model”. I bet she wasn’t even in a union!

      2. The nanny minions, that’s who. The only rights they care about, are their own.

      3. Exactly, although looking at her I can imagine she gives all her male students boners.

      4. If she was a good teacher who cares?

        The nervous wives of fathers of schoolchildren.

        1. Nothing worse than an old hen club.

    3. Didn’t we discuss this in the Morning Links?

    4. We can’t have kids thinking that a porn career leads to anything but STDs and psych problems.

    5. I downloaded one of her videos. She got an anal creampie which she then farted into a martini glass and tossed it back like she was Dean Martin on his first drink of the morning.

      What I’m saying is that:

      1) while I don’t agree with the decision, it would have been difficult to maintain order in the class with that floating around.


      2)She’s a keeper

      1. Interesting. In the only videos I’ve seen of her she looks bored.

        1. She didn’t seem bored in this one. Apparently it takes ATM to get her revved up. Like I said, a keeper.

          1. I will have to look for it.

    6. It’s funny though, because when I was a kid, there was a teacher in Jr. High that had been a Playboy playmate.

      While obviously a degree difference than a porn star, still sort of the same thing

  19. Cop accused of rape given plea deal for giving alcohol to a minor and unlawful restraint. He doesn’t have to serve any jail time or register as a sex offender. His days of being “above the law,” as the victim’s father put it, are over however.

    1. Was she a minor? Did he have sex with her? Then it is fucking rape. I hope the girl’s father shoots his nuts off.

  20. Michael Lohan denies Lindsay Lohan is now working as an escort.

    I’m not sure I’d pay for that even if I had the money and it was legal.

    1. Whoa. I’d like to buy her for Warty. She needs to experience excessive testosterone and YY chromosomes.

    2. Living proof, there is a market for anything.

    3. Sniff…why does everyone always have to be so mean to LiLo? Have you monsters not seen The Parent Trap or something?

      1. Oddly, the most attractive I can remember her being was when she played Hermione Granger on SNL.

        1. I’m gonna go out to the woods real quick and tame the dragon.

      2. I like LiLo. All she ever did was get a DUI and be too much of a screw up to get through probation.

        1. Well, she has committed several minor crimes, including the latest of turning tricks for a profit. Allegedly.

          1. All of those crimes stem from her alleged “acting” career. Calling that acting is tantamount to fraud. Multiple counts.

            1. She’s a method actor learning how to play criminals.

          2. Every hooker has a golden heart Pro.

            1. Maybe they should make that Pretty Woman they were originally going to make–you know, the dark gritty one with Pacino and Pfeiffer. Only this time with Pacino and Lohan.

              1. Or better yet, let her have her own reality show and film all of her tricks. I would watch that.

          3. Wait, we’re libertarians – we can’t hold her (allegedley) being a pro against her.

            Being a *skanky* ho, on the other hand . . .

      3. Sniff…why does everyone always have to be so mean to LiLo?

        Mean Girls provided the template. There’s an Iron Law in there somewhere.

        Also, this.

  21. Just when I think the commentariat at Police One has their head out of their ass, most of them shove it back in shoulder-deep.

    1. If you’re doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide.

  22. “US tax code longer than Bible ? without good news.”


  23. Manti Te’o’s dead girlfriend is a hoax.

    1. At least she didn’t die.

  24. “We will…strap you into a monkey restraining device and use industrial pliers to crack your testicles like walnuts.”

    said a threatening message sent to a researcher by radical animal rights activists.

    Jesus, just look at those photos.

    1. Surely the President will issue an order requiring everyone to eat meat, for the children.

  25. Hey, my local cops made the news! Too bad it’s for using excessive force like shooting a bean-bag round into a suspect’s groin and falsifying arrest reports and official statements in the aftermath.

    Bonus points for prosecutors calling several of their co-workers to the stand to testify about their history of violence.

    1. Now you understand what it feels like to live in Florida. Hey, look, another crazy cop story. . .today.

      1. Between cops and the giant pythons, I don’t know how you people do it.

        1. Well, we’re hunting the pythons now and selling python meat.

          1. They make great hand bags and cowboy boots.

            1. That, too. And seeing-eye, um, snakes.

              1. “Service reptiles”

    1. True Facts About Slothseses.

      In high school, to be assholes, my friend and I did “Sloths” for a pointless Social Studies project we were assigned. To this day we send each other any and all sloth-related news, so this is a good find.

      1. Even sloths need groupies.

      2. I love it.

    2. Sloth attack. Run!

      More hyperbole at Hit and Run.

      Sloth attack. Meander!


      1. They’re deceptively quick at distances of less than one foot.

    3. I saw a guy get his ass whipped badly by one of those things. They look cute and move slow….until you piss them off. They are crazy strong too.

      1. Sloths, or Warty? I would think the body hair situation is pretty similar.

  26. The lessons of history, confirmed by the evidence immediately before me, show conclusively that continued dependence upon relief induces a spiritual and moral disintegration fundamentally destructive to the national fibre. To dole out relief in this way is to administer a narcotic, a subtle destroyer of the human spirit. It is inimical to the dictates of sound policy. It is in violation of the traditions of America. Work must be found for able-bodied but destitute workers.

    The Federal Government must and shall quit this business of relief.

    – FDR’s Annual Message to Congress, January 4, 1935


    1. Within a speech where he proposed all kinds of socialist shit.

      The Federal Government is the only governmental agency with sufficient power and credit to meet this situation. We have assumed this task and we shall not shrink from it in the future. It is a duty dictated by every intelligent consideration of national policy to ask you to make it possible for the United States to give employment to all of these three and one half million employable people now on relief, pending their absorption in a rising tide of private employment.

      It is my thought that with the exception of certain of the normal public building operations of the Government, all emergency public works shall be united in a single new arid greatly enlarged plan.

  27. An assignment for my kid’s kindergarten class:

    Click on the link below to read more about the project I would like to use to incorporate MLK Jr Birthday, the 100th Day of School, and Valentine’s Day… all in one!

    Our spin will be a LIST we will compile at school of 100 Acts of Kindness. Your job will be to discuss with your child 6 or 7 different things you can do to show random acts of love and kindness. The link below will take you to a site with lots of great ideas (from sending letters to relatives to simply saying “thank you”) — thank you very much to Mrs. Kaufman for passing this along.

    If everyone sends in their list NEXT TUESDAY, then it can be a great way to begin talking about the significance of Dr. King and put a more wholesome spin on the 100th day of school and Valentine’s Day. What a beautiful visual reminder to children about ways to be kind to one another 🙂

    The lists can be handwritten, typed, painted…however creative you would like to get in helping your child come up with ideas for his/her list. I hope this can be a FUN project for you over the next several days and long weekend.

    Please let me know if you have questions.

    Uh, I have a question: why don’t you stick to shit like arithmetic and reading and writing and let me worry about the moral stuff?

    1. And why is she giving the parents homework? Look bitch, I have already been to kindergarten. My son hasn’t. I would prefer he have the experience rather than me going through it again.

    2. She’s assigning you homework? WTF

      1. or what John said

    3. Have your kid sell stuff to people.

    4. put a more wholesome spin on the 100th day of school and Valentine’s Day
      Is there something particularly unwholesome about Valentine’s Day where you live?

      1. I was wondering about that myself.

      2. Are you serious?!? HFCS, obesity, tooth decay, OTHERING! Boys set on the path to thinking their “Nice Guys” because their beta asses bought some chalky candy and crappy Choo-choo-choose you Valentines?

        Obama should Do Something.

        1. *they’re

      3. put a more wholesome spin on the 100th day of school


        1. put a more wholesome spin on the 100th day of school


    5. Top thing on my list…

      * Showed restraint by not punching teacher in the face.

    6. Makes me shudder. My kid is literally better off and learning more in the hands of my nineteen year old cousin who just got her GED a few weeks ago than yours is in a class ran by a degree bearing professional.

      1. a class ran by a degree bearing professional

        There’s the source of the problem, right there.

    7. How about discussing MLK’s remark about how “we have guided missiles and misguided men” and how it applies to Obama?

    8. Did you send the assignment back with that question written on it?

      Oh, and tell her that whoever she thinks you are (that she can assign *you* school-work)you’re fucking not him.

  28. New York Times: Lots of non-sexual touching needed to maintain a healthy, stable marriage, among other things to prevent boredom and keep the spark alive.

    1. Speaking of marriage, I will just leave this here.


      Words really fail, but I am sure you guys can find some.

      1. He could of summed up his 16 ways into one…

        * Being a man.

        1. “Respect your wife, she’s a person.”

          1. “There’s nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who’s smart and attractive; we have to pretend you’re both!”

      2. 10. Don’t poop with the bathroom door open.

        You sure about that one, Romeo?

        1. I guess I’m destined for a failed marriage because both my wife and I fail to close the door when pooping most of the time. I mean who cares? Is this something people freak out about?

      3. I may not have called her stupid, or idiot, or any of the other names she’d sometimes call me

        It drips out of every word this pathetic loser speaks, but he is really a beta male par excellence, to the point where you have to suspect whether he actually gets off on it. And all of his Bonuses! are “you might get to have sex… maybe.” He is too sad and weird to properly mock.

        1. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try, though!

          1. Personally I thought the two most mockable things were that (1) he didn’t realize until attempting to give someone advice that he had none, even though he was married and divorced twice, and (2):

            And so, when it was my turn, I just made a joke about divorce and how you should always remember why you loved your spouse when you first met her so that when times get tough, you can find someone new that is just like she was.

            So…after your one marriage fails, make sure to find another wife just like that one, because it will work this time?

            1. He just needs to do it harder.

              THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

              1. I’ll assume by “do it” you mean “poop with the door open.”

                1. He needs to scream loudly as he takes a dump as well.

                  1. I make martial art grunts.

            2. In his defense, I’m not sure picking one who was different would’ve solved his problems. Since he’s discovering basics like “give a shit about the other human being in the relationship”.

              1. Actually, Brett, he’s discovering Phase II: “continue giving a shit about the other human being in the relationship even after you’ve bagged her.” Clearly much more difficult.

                1. Good point, nicole. I stand corrected.

            3. So…after your one marriage fails, make sure to find another wife just like that one, because it will work this time?

              I know one guy who has a type. After divorcing two of them, he still chases that type.

              OTOH, I know a guy who tries something different with each new marraige. The third one has lasted longer than the other 2 combined. I’m thinking the find something different approach is the way to go. I’ll never survive a divorce, so it’s an academic question for me.

              1. I’ll never survive a divorce, so it’s an academic question for me.

                So, T, have you set up a H&R codephrase so we’ll know if you’re in trouble?

              2. So you’ll never survive because you can’t make it alone, or you’ll never survive because your wife will kill you and bury your body in the flower garden?

                1. That second one. My stock not-really-a-joke is that either one of us will be more than happy to walk away from this relationship with nothing, as long as the other one leaves with less.

                2. So you’ll never survive because you can’t make it alone, or you’ll never survive because your wife will kill you and bury your body in the flower garden?

                  I picture T crawling away sloth like from his soon to be X as she slowly beats him with a shovel. So it’s perhaps a bit of both.

              3. OTOH, I know a guy who tries something different with each new marraige. The third one has lasted longer than the other 2 combined.

                Ernest Borgnine was also married to his last (fourth, if I remember correctly) wife longer than all the others combined: 39 years at the time of his death.

          2. That is true. If I have the energy to mock the Jezebel ‘tards, surely I can manage something for their perfect match.


            NEEDS MOAR LABELZ. Even his listicle titles are boringly lame.

            1. And the item about labels wasn’t even about fucking labels, it was just about bitching and moaning.

              1. Oh. I figured out a simpler reason why his marriages failed: He’s gay. (Or maybe bi. I’m not clicking through 3 fucking pages to find out.)

                1. Oh shit, that means you missed the part where he’s probably gay but wants to be bi because he’s Christian and terrified of not being straight.

                  1. See what I mean? Too pathetic to mock. I knew I smelled unsalvageable weakness. And I KNEW he was in some way uniquely suited to marry a Jezebel ‘tard!

                    That would really suck. But maybe in thinking through his 16 steps, he might’ve missed something pretty important?

                    1. I do actually feel sort of bad for him now. He seems to know a lot of women who are grossed out by the idea of dating a bi dude, and his family is definitely not helping. But when you have two ex-wives explicitly asking you if you’re gay…

                2. So … do gay dudes poop with the door open?

            2. NEEDZ MOAR LIBEL

            3. My biggest mistake in the first marriage, I had my head fully wedged up her ass.

    2. So, what – slap her on the back of the head when she’s not looking, poke her in the chest, pinching, that sort of thing?

  29. The one thing I’m heartened about this whole gun control debate is that most Democrats aren’t saying a word about banning handguns like they would have ten years ago. That ship has sailed and they will be crushed in a tsunami of public disdain if they try to ride it again. In the 50s, over 50% wanted handguns banned or heavily restricted for private use. Now that number’s down below 30%.

  30. Fuck yeah. Tne Diamond Age is upon us.

    Their idea is to bind nanodiamonds together with the required nanometre precision using biological molecules such as DNA and protein. What’s more, they say they’ve demonstrated the technique for the first time.

    1. “That’s, like, what, like, a million diamonds for $400? A million ****ing diamonds!”

    2. What’s a nanometre? 😉

    1. I wish him the best of luck. Apparently, he knows nothing about computers, 3D printers, or the internet.

      Almost on topic, my printrbot should be assembled and ready to go this weekend. I may have to print one just because I can.

      1. They’ll set up something along the lines of an internet child-porn task force.

        Troll the net for sites that have the plans.
        Get lists of people who visit the sites.
        Kick doors down, confiscate computers, scan ’em for blueprints.
        Make possession of the blueprints a strict liability crime and voila! There’s your case.

        Won’t work any better than drug prohibition has, but it’ll create a nice new police buearacracy.

    2. Horse, barn door, etc.

    3. That won’t fly, though they may not know it yet. Before long they’ll come at it the other way and try to regulate the sale of all 3D printers.

      1. Yeah, I’m surprised that hasn’t already happened, tbh.

        1. They’re gonna wanna put copy-write protection on them.

  31. The CEO of Whole Foods explained on NPR that he thought Obamacare was a form of fascism, not socialism.

    It’s a form of something, alright – just not care.

    1. Re this and the kerfuffle when Mackey whacked it prior to it being forced through congress:
      We have a local WF in SF. The screams in the SF Chron on-line issue were audible before you opened your browser; OMG THE HORROR!!!!
      BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT!!!!!!!!!!!
      Obviously, I don’t see their year-to-year comparisons, but the somewhat limited parking lot was never other than somewhat limited.
      My guess is the “boycott” meant they went to Safeway for the pasta, but kept getting the WF produce.

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