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  1. Biologists say human hands evolved largely because of the advantages of a closed fist for fighting.

    Then why are they the perfect shape for the exploding fist bump?

    1. There’s absolutely NOTHING evolved about Fist.

      1. Looking for the missing link: Haymaker Man.

    2. Ewww, that’s what you call it? You never get a 2nd date, do you?

    3. Biologists say human hands evolved largely because of the advantages of a closed fist for fighting.

      T o n y might beg to differ.

      1. T o n y might beg to differ.

        The words T o n y and evolution don’t belong in the same sentence unless separated by the words “disproves the theory of.”

        1. [cough]fisting joke[cough]

          1. [cough]fisting joke[cough]

            I thought I’d laid it on thick enough . . .

            1. SugarFree is known for being a bit…ham-fisted.

              1. A little heavy handed on the punchline, dont’cha think?

    4. Has anyone ever seen a chimp or gorilla use a closed fist? I’ve seen lots of footage of chimps fighting andor killing other monkeys and I can’t recall ever seeing one ball up a fist.

      Just sayin’.

      1. I’ve seen a gorilla pummel another with closed fists but it used all downward blows and the “bottom” of the fist.

    1. The Dobbs women reportedly say that when they filed a complaint with DPS supervisors, they were told if they filed an affidavit, DPS would turn around and file charges against them for lying.

    2. One in the pink, one in the stink?

      None in the clink.

      1. I especially like the fact that the cop didn’t change gloves between fingering one woman and the other. Slick move.

        1. Look, I’m not going to lie, that video kind of does it for me. But seriously, safety first you sow.

        2. I especially like the fact that the cop didn’t change gloves between fingering one woman and the other. Slick move.

          Budgets are tight, you see.

          1. Budgets are tight because they aren’t really meant to have fingers put up…
            Oh, I see what you did there!

        3. Slick move.

          Pun intended?

    3. Cop acting like a prick? That’s a shocker.

      1. I think sexual assault goes beyond acting like a prick.

        1. Uh… Er… Um…
          Oh never mind the penis reference.

        1. It’s interesting to see who got the joke and who didn’t. 🙂

          1. We all get fucked in the end.

            1. Only if they claim to have smelled Pot first.

              1. Hey, Rasilio, were you the one whose wife was inappropriately examined by her Dr.? What ever happened with that. This thread just jogged my memory of that post.

                Or was it Restoras?

                1. Yeah that was me (unless there were 2 seperate issues), and really nothing happened.

                  The real issue was not that the exam was inappropriate so much as the Dr claimed that a certain test my wife did not want was required by law (I don’t even remember which test it was off the top of my head, but it involved a digital exam of the rectum) when it appears that it is not, but rather the dr’s claim seems to have stemmed from a Massachusetts court ruling that declared a Doc negligent for not conducting the test on a patient who later died.

                  But after it happened we never really gave it another thought.

                  1. I believe that was the Griffin vs Hartman case. But it was Rhode Island instead of Mass, IIRC.

          2. I fingered it out instantly, Theodore. -)

  2. Biologists say human hands evolved largely because of the advantages of a closed fist for fighting. Forget bulging craniums, MMA is pushing us to the next step in our development.

    Hrm, I was wondering why a lot of kids I see now-a-days have Ed Hardy birthmarks.

    1. Ed Hardy? Obviously you’ve missed out on the most recent evolutionary studies. Biologists have recently determined their initial studies were wrong and the birthmarks are not in fact Ed Hardy, but Affliction.

      Just wanted to make sure this didn’t confuse anyone 🙂

  3. Budget negotiations are expected to massively delay the filing of tax returns in 2013…

    So, we get to file in June?

    1. Sure, as long as you pay your estimated taxes plus 10% in April.

      1. Yep. And don’t forget to include your Newtown Remembrance and Reoccurance Prevention Surcharge.

  4. http://www.breitbart.com/Big-G…..rmit-story

    Diane Feinstein apparently part of the unAmerican other known as gun owners.

    1. Well of course our betters should be allowed you stupid prole.

    2. To be fair, John, she wasn’t carrying an assault weapon, and those were kinder gentler times.

      Seriously, yo, ….

      1. Considering they are now redefining an assault weapon as a rifle that fires handgun-strength ammo…

        1. Seriously?

          Dang. I may have to get that Kriss .45 carbine after all. I’ll have to do some research on getting the silencer for it. . . .

          1. I Just bought an HK USC on Tuesday…

    3. Nanny Pelosi has a CCW permit too.

    4. I thought this was common knowledge. I guess I’m shocked that everyone is shocked by this.

  5. Note to both: federal spending is up 78 percent since 1998.

    But the dollars they’re spending now aren’t worth much!

    1. BOOOSH!

      You know you can’t mention him here.

      1. I don’t think too many here believe that your boy Dubya didn’t have a significant hand in it.

        1. It helps shrike feel better to think that’s the case, considering he can’t do 5th grade math.

        2. “Dubya didn’t have a significant hand in it.”

          Are we still making fisting jokes?

  6. Megan Fox. Drool.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..Is-40.html

    1. Wow, still? Time to move on, there are plenty of other skanks with equal faptitude.

      1. Yeah? But how many of them get DM spreads a couple times a week?

    2. Second to last picture has this caption:
      Bump and grind: The movie was shot before Megan fell pregnant with her son Noah

      I guess we can connect the dots.

      1. She “fell pregnant”? What, was it like falling ill with the flu?

        Limeys are fucking weird.

        1. It springs forth from “befallen”, as in, “Pregnancy has befallen her,” in the passive voice.

          “She fell pregnant,” is active voice.

          1. Actually, “Pregnancy has befallen her” is in the active voice; pregnancy is both the agent and subject. It’s just that “befall” takes basically the inverse relationship to subject/object that “fall” does. “Befall” is the type of verb that people often refer to as “passive” because it’s not action-y, not because it’s not in the active voice.

            1. Aha! Thank you for clarifying! It’s very similar to its analougue in Russian, as it would be an impersonal consruction.

              Boy, do I feel like a dummy!-)

              1. The passive/active distinction is widely misunderstood, so don’t feel too bad!

              2. Boy, do I feel like a dummy!-)

                She femsplained the fuck out of you, doc.

    3. And Leslie Mann, yum, yum. BTW, if you saw her in that body switch movie with Justin Bateman that was a prosthetic ass. Her real one is too skinny for the middle aged house wife type she played there so they came up with a fat prosthetic rear to make you Johns happy.

  7. So, Deadspin ranks the Constitutional Amendments.

    Guess which one comes in dead last.

    I guess they don’t realize the rest don’t matter if the 2nd is not there.

    1. Are these motherfuckers serious???? Direct income tax comes before half of the bill of rights!!

      Fuck off, slavers!

      1. Responded a little too soon… but 16th is still ranked ahead of 2nd, 3rd, and 10th. So the “Fuck off, slavers!” still applies.

      2. The first is eighth?

        We supposed to take this seriously?

        1. Without looking at the list, the only one of 11+ that belongs above any of the first 10 is #13.

          It its first, Im cool with that, because Fuck off, slavers.

          And #3 better be in the fucking top 4.

          1. You’ll be disappointed if you actually look at the list.

        2. According to the the 20-somethings among my Facebook friends-who are all my wife’s filmmaker colleagues-freedom of speech is evil.

          Kids today…

    2. Amazingly enough, the article is on one page.

      (Do they use facebook discussions or something? Whatever they use as a comment platform was a memory hog and wouldn’t load.)

    3. What’s the criteria? If it’s best syntax and sentence structure that doesn’t open an amendment up to being misinterpreted, then they’re probably right. The 2nd should be last. Otherwise they’re pussies.

    4. Maybe they should just stick to sports?

    5. If you ignore the order, the top 10 seem pretty appropriate. Would be nice to get the 2nd in there, though. The division into categories below is pretty dumb.

      1. I was gonna mention that, but it looks like it was moreso a highlighted comment and not actually part of the article.

      2. The first and second are first and second for a fucking reason. In any civilized society, they’d be the only two you need.

        1. I’d say in a civilized society, those should be implicit. But we know how well that works out.

          Since the constitution is supposed to define the government, and is not primarily a philosophical document, I think that the others are quite important, particularly those which specifically regulate how the government can interact with individuals.

          1. I’d say in a civilized society, those should be implicit.

            Hamilton and Madison and Jay tried arguing that too.

        2. The federalists argued that the Constitution did not need to spell out certain rights because they were considered a given then. But anti-federalists wanted safeguards in place to prevent the government from ignoring unenumerated rights. So, on the one hand, enumerating certain rights is necessary. On the other, it tends to interpret unenumerated rights as less necessary.

          Despites enumerated rights, asshats in control still try to strip them from us, and the voters allow it!

    6. The 18th gets a bad rap. Sure, what it did was stupid, but it at least acknowledged that the government lacked the constitutional authority to do what it wanted to do.

      This, of course, is the real reason progressives hate it.

    7. The list was put together by Deadspin’s resident Marxist Tommy Craggs, so no surprise there.

    8. I think it’s great that someone built a website that is written by and for retards. It gives them something to do. Best not to bother with it, though.

    1. I would.

      Then again, it’s been a while. And frankly, I was never very picky to begin with.

      1. You see her in a magazine, she looks pretty bleh. But if you saw her in a bar, I’m sure she is a perfectly reasonable looking woman. Unless you are sarcasmic who only dates supermodels.

        1. My having standards means more for you. You should thank me.

          1. I’m married. I don’t get more.

            1. I’m married. I don’t get more.

              FTFY.

              Sadly, despite being single, you married men are doing better than me. Probably.

              1. I’m married and I’ve got no reason to complain.

              2. I am married and at the end of the complaint line. Some of you may disagree but I have the perfect wife.

                1. Sigh. Colour me jealous of all you married men.

                  /envy

                  1. Oh Groovus. How have you been here this long and not become a wife-hater? You’d think the guys would have helped you get over this kind of romanticism by now.

                    1. I’m pretty neutral on the actually being married thing, but having an agreeable cohabitant is pretty great most of the time.

                      See what a romantic I am?

                      I wish you luck in finding some hot, young agreeable Ukranian lady for yourself, Doctor Groovus.

                    2. Well, it’s simply the way I am built, nicole. My parents were married for over 47 years when my father died, and he was true blue to Mom (he died 2 years ago in Sept of this year).

                      Great example for me of a man who stayed with his wife through thick and thin, and was a quite libertarian, self-made man. I admire him greatly and miss him terribly.

                      Besides, in the medical profession, divorce is exceedingly common during med school, residency, and when starting out in practice (we are never hardly home), as is adultery, and I don’t suffer either. (Many of my colleagues have been married multiple times and have the alimony to prove it; I have witnessed quite a few openly cheat on their spouses at Physician’s Conferences. Not a fun thing to see.)

                      I purposefully delayed marriage because I wanted to devote all my energy to my career. I didn’t want to have my wife leave me over my career, and being a doctor, to put it bluntly, has attracted gold-diggers and my nose is finely tuned to that scent. Life so far has proven that all the good ones are taken.

                      Now I want to devote all my energy to her, since I am in a much better position to do so.

                    3. Well, it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, so it makes sense 😉

                2. Let’s compromise and say a perfect wife.

        2. Unless you are sarcasmic who only dates SKINNY supermodels.

          He has been known to call every woman larger than Kate Moss a potential fatty.

            1. How do they x-ray her, hold her up to a 25W lamp?

              1. She is not exactly a rail now. Looks pretty damn decent on all the major specs.

    2. She was on Maddow last night lecturing her on how to pronounce Ke$ha. Double barf.

      1. You were watching Maddow?

        Why?

        1. I was reading and my wife was flipping through the channels. I think she stops on MSNBC just to irritate me.

        2. Maybe he ate some poison and was all out of mayonaise and circus peanuts.

    3. ‘I had my very own issues with ‘die young’ for this reason. I did NOT want to sing those lyrics and I was FORCED TO.’

      LOL–this would be like Taylor Swift claiming she was forced to sing about her ex-boyfriends.

      Kesha’s got enough stroke in the music industry now that she could overrule song lyrics if she wanted to. The bitch recorded a “I hope I die before I get old” song, but doesn’t have the guts to explain it.

  8. Gallup: To Stop Shootings, Americans Focus on Police, Mental Health
    http://www.gallup.com/poll/159…..ealth.aspx

    Americans are most likely to say that an increased police presence at schools, increased government spending on mental health screening and treatment, and decreased depiction of gun violence in entertainment venues would be effective in preventing mass shootings at schools. Americans rate the potential effectiveness of a ban on assault and semi-automatic guns as fourth on a list of six actions Gallup asked about.

    1. I like how ‘assault’ and ‘semi-automatic’ are lumped together as though they are related.

      Also, lowering violence on TV and video games is more effective than arming at least one school official/teacher.

      Congratulations America, you have the government you so richly deserve.

      1. People are considering a ban on semi-automatics? I suppose they think the 2nd amendment only applies to flint locks still.

        1. someone will make the automatic flintlock

        2. Given, he’s British, but they’re already suggesting that

          More and more, the phrase “what got you here won’t get you there” would seem to apply to our particularly American fascination with the written words of our Founding Fathers. What we need, instead of ancestor-worship, are individuals with the courage and conviction of those original Revolutionaries to stand up for the well-being of all in modern times. Those are the ones-the Lincolns and Dr. Kings-who have actually “got us here” since 1776-and they did it by revising the Constitution. The government “of laws, not men” actually needs-most of all-courageous men and women to continually re-write our laws in light of modern circumstances.

          They always love to forget how Lincoln suspended habeas corpus, don’t they. I know, I know. Facts, here; narrative, there.

          1. MLK revised the constitution? (Or Lincoln? Pretty sure he was dead by the time they got around to revising the constitution.)

          2. I agree. How does this capture the intent?

            The right of the people to keep and bear any and all weapons, shall not be infringed.

            1. Close, lets clarify it:

              The rights of the individual to keep and bear, concealed or unconcealed, any and all weapons, shall not be infringed.

          3. They also forget that King applied for a gun license and was turned down.

          4. Why should I give a fuck what some limey bastard thinks of my freedom?

        3. One of the current talking points for the gun control gang is “the Australian model”. There, after a mass shooting, one of the legal steps was to ban semi-autos.

          As I understand it from my progressive friends, Australia has since become the first crime-free continent.

          1. Yep, and the cops gunned down the real Crocodile Dundee too when he refused to give up his guns.

            Seriously. They killed Crocodile Dundee.

          2. Where is IFH? She can clear this up!

    2. Were was the “no action required” option?

      1. Or the “deregulate firearms” option.

        1. Or get rid of the fantasy of gun free zones.

          1. How about we start gun required zones?

              1. I bet there won’t be any mass shootings there.

                1. It could happen in the schools, but I doubt anywhere else.

                  And not in homes, thats for sure.

                  Their law is anti-libertarian, but I can tolerate it in a Bernardo de la Paz sense.

                  What with being in compliance by default.

  9. Beware!

    Pubic hair grooming injuries on the rise
    http://www.weirduniverse.net/b….._the_rise/

    The article “Pubic Hair Grooming Injuries Presenting to U.S. Emergency Departments” was published in the December issue of the journal Urology. The authors note that the scientific community has paid little attention to the subject of pubic hair grooming injuries, which is why their article is a welcome correction.

    The take-home from the article is that a) pubic hair grooming injuries are on the rise, mostly because more people are watching porn, inspiring them to want to look like porn stars down there, so they start grooming, sometimes with bad consequences; and b) razors were responsible for most of the injuries. The authors recommend using clippers instead.

  10. Members of Congress want to know the Justice Department’s rationale for accumulating vast amounts of data on American citizens without cause

    Oops, I guess the Justice Departments picked up a few wealthy donors in their data sweep.

    1. The cause is cause they want it.

    2. They do it because the can. It either that or sit in the office watching porn. Now they can both monitor Americans and watch porn.

  11. ‘It was the biggest degradation I’ve ever experienced’: Woman’s horror as she is attacked by man wielding sock filled with human FECES

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..FECES.html

    1. Warty calls that foreplay.

  12. Man calls 911 because someone is refusing to leave his house, so he arms himself and orders the no-longer-welcome person out. Police show up and one officer goes in the front while another goes in the back door. The officer at the back door shoots him dead.

    Question: if he was making a citizens arrest, is he not able to use a gun to detain a person that is trespassing on his property? Also, why enter from two doors and cause the man to become more uneasy and agitated?

    1. Are the cops even on paid suspension?

    2. IANAL, but my understanding is that citizens can only make arrests for felonies. I don’t believe simple tresspass is a felony.

      This seems to be a complicated situation, legally. TFA doesn’t say how the trespasser had come to be there. The trespasser also managed to call police and reported that he was being threatened with a gun (thus giving the police cause, I think). Also, the hero cop claims to have repeatedly ordered the homeowner to drop the weapon.

      1. Depends. Some states allow you to make a citizens arrest for misdemeanors as long as the person commits the misdemeanor in your presence.

      2. Trespassing is the crime of being on someone else’s property without permission. So as soon as you detain them, it ceases to be trespassing as you can’t be simultaneously demanding they leave and demanding they stay.

        1. He never held the guy there, according to the guy. He armed himself because the guy refused to go.

          It’s an oddball situation to say the least. All I really took away from it is that the police shouldn’t come barging into an armed person’s house from two different locations unless they want to escalate the situation. Of course, I think police officers often intentionally create stressful and confusing situations rather than attempt to defuse a situation calmly. They are dopers out there to bust, after all, and they can’t bust them if they’re stuck talking down a dude that’s pointing a gun at his (now unwelcome) house guest.

          1. I was refering to the “citizens arrest” thing above. The nature of the crime of trespassing makes it impossible to citizens arrest someone solely for simple trespass. As soon as you do, they’ve no longer committed the crime.

    3. Reason number 3,437 why you don’t call the cops.

      1. But this would seem to be one of the occasions where calling the police might do you some good. But I suppose you need to choose either to take care of it yourself or let the police do it. Cause, you know, all us “civilians” look the same to them.

    4. Okay, I read the article twice (granted I just got up). Was it Kaufmann’s home or was he the intruder?

      Another information packed gem from our responsible, professional media!

      1. It was Kaufmann’s home and he had invited the man over earlier. He asked the man to leave but he refused. Kaufmann told him he would call the police if he refused to leave, and when the man stayed, that’s exactly what he did. And due to the less-than-rapid response time of the cops, the other man later called police and said Kaufmann had a gun pointed at him.

    5. if he was making a citizens arrest, is he not able to use a gun to detain a person that is trespassing on his property?

      It probably varies by state, but generally speaking mere citizens aren’t allowed to use deadly force to make an arrest.

      Of course, whether it was allowed or not, the question of whether the cop should have gunned him down for having a weapon in his own house is a separate question.

      I seem to recall dunphy taking the position (more or less) that any citizen with a gun in their hand in their own home is fair game for police.

      1. It was the day his mask slipped for good.

        moron dies of gunfire.

        fuck him

        this guy chose his own fucking fate

        he was not “innocent”. he unjustifiably drew a gun on the police
        and he paid the price
        fuck him

        this guy was a fucking moron begging to get shot

        It goes on, but you get the gist.

  13. Property Rights in Space
    http://www.thenewatlantis.com/…..s-in-space

    There is in fact some slight internationally recognized legal precedent for retaining ownership of resources mined in space, as lunar samples returned to Earth on both U.S. and Soviet missions (the latter robotically) have been exchanged for other tokens of value. But actually owning the portion of the celestial body from which the resources are harvested ? as in a traditional mining claim ? is more problematic. Without legally recognized rights to buy, own, and sell titled property, it is difficult if not impossible to raise capital to develop land or extract the resources it holds. Property rights have long been considered one of the pillars of prosperity in the modern world, and their absence in space ? due to the contingencies of the history of international law during the early space age ? partly explains why we have not yet developed that final frontier.

    1. Easy… whoever reaches a specific area first and can establish a presence, such as building a structure there to sustain life, has unlimited access to that specific point and areas around. I would not say a person can claim a whole planet just because they have one little building on it. But they can maintain probably a mile around, unless they develop more.

      1. Why is a mile magical?

        1. Effective range?

          1. I would say so. You could probably extend that by being able to develop more of the surrounding area.

            It may just come down to what you can protect. Could we make it 2 or 3 or 15? Perhaps. Why not the whole planet? Well, you probably could not keep other people off of it effectively.

            Now the asteroid belt would be a little more challenging because there is no geographical area. You may be able to establish some sort of base of operations inside the belt and have an effective range within it, mostly for mining purposes, I assume.

      2. As with property on Earth, might makes right.

        Form a country that can defend your boundaries and you are the “legitimate” authority. At least until the Visigoths show up.

    2. Isn’t possession nine-tenths of the law?

      1. In space it’s more like one tenth. The rest is the slope of the gravity well.

        1. In space, no one can hear you scream banal cliches.

    3. Yeah I think this is a load of bullshit.

      If a company goes out and starts mining an Asteroid then the simple fact that no one else currently has the technological wherwithal to challenge their claim to the Asteroid will render such questions moot and manufacturers desperate to get their hands on the rare earth metals will happily pony up the cash for the goods.

      It is also pretty obvious that the only legal barriers to private space exploration have been purely terrestrial in origin, that is until very recently no private organization could get legal permissions to launch rockets into space. The real hurdle however has been technological, it is only in the last decade or so that materials and computing technology have advanced to the point that private space exploration has become financially viable. Now that it is I really don’t see companies caring much one way or the other how the international community views their mining claims, the simple fact will be only 2 or 3 other entities would have the ability to reach their little pocket of space and it would be far cheaper for them to just choose another destination that fight over one already in use.

      Space like all previous frontiers will be populated and exploited without a clear property rights regiem in place, then later as more players get access and the population rises property rights will emerge.

      1. Space like all previous frontiers will be populated and exploited without a clear property rights regiem in place, then later as more players get access and the population rises property rights will emerge.

        Pretty much this.

      2. wouldn’t the company just incorporate in a non-signatory country and not have to worry about the oiter space treaty?

    4. It’s sad people, smart people even, have so conditioned that rights, including property rights, come from the state. That you need state recognition from terra firma (primarily focused on US in the article) of say, a group of invididuals homesteading in space–living, mining, building, etc–to make their claim legitimate is bullshit.

      1. If someone/some group is honestly asking this question because they foresee their ability to exploit resources outside of the planet earth, they may not be questioning property rights only because they are accustomed to it.

        They may be asking so as to enlist said country’s help should their tremendous effort ever be threatened by someone else/some other group with the technological ability to make such a threat real.

        IE – if the US grants corp X rights to asteroid y, corp X may be looking for the US’s active protection should asteroid y ever come under threat from another.

        OTOH… with the investment such a task would require, one would assume the group doing this could also provide their own security.

        But my guess here is that *if* anyone is seriously asking these questions, it’s more about protecting an investment than it is about asking daddy for permission.

  14. Kyle Cumming had found the snake eggs in his garden in Townsville in Queensland, Australia and was given a takeaway container to put them in.

    Several weeks later his mother Donna Sim was shocked when she opened the bedroom wardrobe to discover the box full of recently hatched eastern brown snakes ? the world’s second deadliest species.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..drobe.html

    1. What kind of a fucking moron do you have to be to pick up snake eggs in Australia? Five or six or the deadliest snakes in the world live there. The eastern brown is also called the “common brown”. That kid is too stupid to live.

      1. He was 3?

        1. Then his mother is too stupid to live. Who lets a 3 year old bring strange eggs into the house?

          1. They should have nuked the garden from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

            1. No shit. Reasons why I would never live in Australia no matter how nice the weather is or how hot the women are.

              1. IFH begs to differ…

          2. Anybody with a three year old daughter?

            1. In Australia, where there are snakes that will kill you before you can take three steps? It is called saying “no”.

              1. I think you missed it.

            2. What’s Banjos going to say in three years?

              1. Nevermind. I think Auric was the only one that got the joke.

                1. And I haven’t taken a biology class since freshmen year of undergrad!

                2. I got it sloopy. It was…unfertile.

                  1. I think the issue is that the minds of the commetariat are on some kinds of pills.

          3. Having had to diligently prevent the multiple attempts by my daughter to set up a rescue hospital in the house for various homeless vermin, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the kid had just borrowed a tupperware container and brought the eggs into the house. God knows, I’ve had some shocks including walking into a room and seeing a team of moth caterpillars doing an acrobatic act as they rappelled down the silk threads they were spinning.

            That being said, this mother is an idiot. Apparently she encouraged the kid to try to hatch the eggs. Which is really stupid. Or maybe the reporter is an idiot who is impugning her.

            TO sum up, someone involved in this story is really stupid.

      2. What kind of fucking moron do you have to be to just give your kid a box when he tells you he’s found eggs in the back yard?

        Ms Sim said she had given Kyle the takeaway container when he found the eggs but had not thought more of it until she found the snakes in her son’s bedroom.

        Granted, it’s not explicit that she knew exactly what he’d found, but with a 3 YO you always question and closely supervise.

        1. THIS She was three years old. She shouldn’t be doing much of anything without adult supervision.

      3. Aren’t all snakes in Australia poisonous or something?

        1. as far as I can tell, everything in Australia – especially kangaroos, can kill you.

          1. and dont piss off a koala.

            They looked drugged and sleepy but its an act to lure you in.

          2. ANd don’t leave out the Platypus. Cute fuzzy little thing with a spike on it’s leg that causes unimaginable pain.

        2. I live in Australia and not all snakes are poisonous, but it is generally understood that if you see a snake that you do not fuck with it because a lot of them are and a lot of them actually look harmless (or at least harmless to North Americans because they resemble rat snakes and the like).

      4. 9 of the top 10, if Steve Irwin didnt lie to me.

        One of the top 3 was in his garage, it was a short trip to find it.

  15. Ending the civil war in Syria is more important than keeping Assad in power, says, Russian President Vladimir Putin.

    Good. The Russkies can remove a guy from power for a change.

    1. Withdrawing their patronage from an expensive client and allowing him to be torn down by rebels is a rather cheap method of removing him.

      Well, or a ‘cut your losses’ method.

      Sucks for Assad – maybe the wife can get a job with Vogue?

      1. I fully endorse this method.

    2. But will getting rid of Assad stop the civil war? What happens to all the Assad supporters?

      1. If they’re smart they either run like hell or change sides.

        1. They can’t shcange sides. They are Allawites – who are viewed as Apostates by everyone else.

          Do you know what the religion of peace does to apostates?

          1. Gives them eternal peace.

            1. Well played, sir. Well played.

      2. Well, for one it will make The Rape of the Sabine Women look like an Archie comix.

      3. I talked to the driver for the senior assad several days ago. He is in the restaurant business now. He said everyone loved the senior assad, but the son is a complete megalomaniac and none of the people in the regime really support him. They are mostly just going through the motions.

        His sister is still in syria and told him that they expect the regime to collapse and anyone who was associated with it to be hunted down and killed. I guess she just called her brother to say goodbye.

      4. Read below. Apparently he doesnt really have any.

      5. They stop getting paid?

      6. But will getting rid of Assad stop the civil war?

        No. It just clears the way for the various factions to turn on each other.

  16. “The suspicions are fueled by the fact that American spies have posed as health workers. Who could have foreseen a problem?”

    Not the geniuses in the CIA. Or maybe they could and just didn’t care. Not that we will ever get an answer.

    1. The problem is not so much the CIA using certain cover methods so much as some idiot in the administration leaking what they were using.

  17. Boehner’s Plan B Exposes Obama’s Grade-A Tax Lie
    http://news.investors.com/ibd-…..-taxes.htm

    But it turns out Democrats were simply using all this “millionaire and billionaire” talk to disguise their true agenda, which is to raise taxes on families making as little as $250,000. (Those families aren’t the struggling middle class, to be sure, but few two-earner couples making that much would consider themselves “rich” … or undertaxed.)

    In fact, as soon as Boehner introduced his Plan B, Democrats started screeching about how raising taxes only on millionaires and billionaires wasn’t nearly enough.

    1. And this is a surprise to whom?

      They want taxes up across the board on everyone, and not just up a little bit.

  18. The Truth About the AR-15 Rifle
    http://www.thetruthaboutguns.c…..-15-rifle/

    In the wake of the post-Sandy Hook media frenzy, it’s unfortunate that the vast majority of pundits have no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to guns. Especially with a firearm like the AR-15 (a.k.a., “Assault Rifle”). Scanning the press coverage, there’s no end of misinformation about the ArmaLite Rifle (AR) design and why it is such a popular firearm in the United States. Hopefully I can put some of that right . . .

    1. Because if I was going to use a technical designation for a gun, like “AR”, it would definitely just be a stand-in for “assault rifle”.

      Peak Retard, is that you???

    2. And it’s in our best interests to stay mum about this for the moment and let them emote until they’ve got this out of themselves. Then once the legislators start drafting laws, we dissect them point by point. But don’t educate them ahead of time.

  19. The Benghazi Report: How smoothly Washington washes away its scandals
    http://news.investors.com/poli…..report.htm

    The report from the Accountability Review Board, headed by Thomas Picketing and Admiral Mike Mullen, is only one tiny piece of a vast bureaucratic ballet that has evolved in Washington over decades to handle hot issues, even deadly ones like Benghazi, with minimal damage to the politicians and bureaucrats in power at the time.

    It’s an amazingly sophisticated and bipartisan procedure that looks sound to naive eyes. It’s built upon powerful self-interest and savvy strategic communications that manages and manipulates information and the timing of its release to minimize damage to incumbents and to dampen ongoing media interest in pursuing an embarrassing matter further.

    1. No one of any importance is ever held accountable for anything. Mistakes were made. Now shut the fuck up and go back to talking about gun control and birth control.

      1. Just like the 9/11 Commission but with 2900 fewer dead Americans and it happened in Africa.

        1. You are right. None of the people in the Clinton Administration, namely Jamie Gorely, who created the intelligence failures that caused 9-11 were ever held accountable. Gorely went on to rip off millions as an executive for FANNIE MAY despite being the person who was behind the “intelligence wall” that was most responsible for 9-11.

          1. Proof that you have erased the Bush Administration from history. I bet you still think the GOP is “small government” too (and other knee slappers).

            But others remember.

            1. Because Bush was clearly responsible for the actions of Clinton appointees that occurred while he was governor of Texas.

              Is it difficult to feed yourself as a retarded sock puppet Shreek?

              1. It’s Thursday, John.

            2. PB needs a new schtick, or some new talking points. It’s like a boring, broken ol’ record that keeps on spinning in an empty room. Only he seems to hear the tune.

              1. It is only going to get worse as time goes on. But Boosh, is all he has. It is not like he can defend Obama or was ever anything but a sock puppet.

          2. Jamie Gorely

            That’s Jamie Gorelick, as in GORE LICK.

            1. That was really unnecessary, Rich. I have a strong constitution, but that was simply uncalled for.

              1. Just think of the Gore daughters, it’s much less disgusting.

                1. MEh. Seen much better than them.

          3. Jamie Gorelick, John, not Gorely.

            1. I know a Jamie Gorely. Terrible I slam the poor woman by confusing her with the biggest public service train wreck in American history.

        2. And of course Clinton was never held responsible for passing up the chance to capture or kill Bin Ladin on multiple occasions.

          Generally you are pretty retarded Shreek. But for once you made a really good point.

    2. I bet the report doesn’t answer anything I want to know, such as:

      – WTF was the CIA doing there?
      – Why was the Ambassador there and not in the embassy? What was he doing?
      – Why was Africom Commanding General relieved that day?
      – Where is the rest of the staff that was there that day?
      – Why all the lies?

      1. One more:

        -What genius thought it would be a good idea for the Ambassador to be out and about on 9/11?

      2. Another one

        -what the fuck was up with blaming the video?

    3. Yet another in the long list of “Mistakes were made, but nobody made any mistakes” whitewash jobs.

    4. So did the report address why the POTUS attempted to cover it up?

      I always thought criticizing the lack of action was a stupid move on the Republicans part. They should have attacked the cover up. For two fucking weeks the president was insisting it was all about the video, when he clearly knew otherwise.

      Opportunity lost.

  20. Those brave hero teachers cancel school because of Mayan calendar. Fortunately our kids go to a charter school in the district.

    1. Well, there were apparently some threats, but yeah, any excuse to start Winter Break early.

      1. The actual letter sent by the district was explicit in stating there was no threat.

  21. Ohio man who videotaped young boys in the shower sentenced to 15 years in jail and also forced to pay $5,000 to Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting victims.

    WTF? No offense, but shouldn’t that go to the victims of his crime? Oh, and this guy is a piece of shit, by the way.

    1. Poor guy. Should have just joined the police then he could have videotaped and probably BCS’d them because he ‘smelled pot’.

      1. How do you Bowl Championship Series somebody?

        1. It follows when you “smell” pot…

        2. It’s not my fault that body cavity searches pre-dated the +1 bowl.

          1. Fortunately, only 13 more months of the football BCS term existing.

            1. Unfortunately, the other BCS will exist until the singularity.

    2. Better to actual victims rather than disappearing into the treasury. But why not his own victims?

    3. That’s insane, I guess for the time being everything is going to somehow involve Sandy Hook?

  22. I’ve got two new Project Communique tracks – Sandstorm and Instead of Paris
    https://soundcloud.com/projectcommunique

    1. Sandstorm…nice. NiN-ish

  23. Don’t worry about spending. As long as we keep taxes low, we can just borrow our way to prosperity!

    1. That is because the wise and wonderful Federal Reserve have a magic money machine which will make us all rich.

  24. I call BS on the fist Biologists. Other than smaller primates, who were they punching? Mastodons, lions, hyenas, elk?

    Untrained people will break a hand with a head punch, what will happen when they punch a bison in the head? Much better off with palm or elbow strike. Better yet, use those fingers and opposeable thumbs to wield a club or spear.

    1. Maybe they were fighting with each other over females, who gets the last bottle of beer and such.

      1. Still better off keeping their hand open. Winning the fight while breaking a hand or wrist could mean death to a hunter.

        1. Actually I think if you’re punching things for most of your life your chances of breaking your hand are greatly reduced.

          What was that show where two fat guys used to tear apart helicopters and cars and buildings with their bare hands? Some Discovery channel show or something. Anyway one of the shows they put up x-rays of their hands and they had like bones a lot thicker than regular non-punching type people.

          I mean really we didn’t become the big sissies we are until a few centuries ago.

          1. Good point. There’s a reason why prehistoric bones are a lot denser than the ones most people have now, and it ain’t because they drank more milk.

          2. shaolin training to harden various parts:
            http://youtu.be/ItJyMPgw4Cs?t=3m28s

    2. heh – flashing back to the days of teaching my GF (now wife) how to punch. This is back in college when we lived in a shitty neighborhood.

      Me: “No, don’t tuck the thumb inside your fist.”

    3. Don’t forget the ever effective eye-gouge.

  25. There is a lot of crap in the “fist” article. I blame the crappy science reporting and the fact that I’m too lazy to read the source research.

    they analyzed what happened when men, aged from 22 to 50, hit a punching bag as hard as they could. The peak stress delivered to the bag — the force per area — was 1.7 to 3 times greater with a fist strike compared with a slap.

    Men and boys, in our culture, are trained to throw a punch from a young age. Proper punching technique is learned, not instinctive. The force per area would be a lot lower if the thumb was under the fingers or a wild, uncontrolled punch was thrown, etc. A control group from a culture where the predominate fighting style is not fistfighting would be useful.

    “It can be argued that modern man exists in a world devoid of the evolutionary and selective pressures to which aggression was a beneficial trait,” Morgan said. “Our aggressive behavior remains, but no longer serves an evolutionary purpose.”

    Genghis Khan’s widely spread genetic material is the only counterargument needed.

    “Women need to fight off attackers and defend themselves from rape.”

    Rape doesn’t hurt a woman’s ability to pass on her genetic material.
    /Akin

    1. I guarantee I can put more force on a bag with my elbow than my fist.

      1. Don’t know, never been attacked by punching bag.

        1. Don’t know, never been attacked by punching bag.

          Palin’s Buttplug doesn’t count?

    2. “Genghis Khan’s widely spread genetic material is the only counterargument needed.”

      Can you elaborate?

      1. This was the first google result for “Genghis Khan descendents”. Not sure if you’re serious. GK spread his seed far and wide.

        An international group of geneticists studying Y-chromosome data have found that nearly 8 percent of the men living in the region of the former Mongol empire carry y-chromosomes that are nearly identical. That translates to 0.5 percent of the male population in the world, or roughly 16 million descendants living today.

        Khan’s eldest son, Tushi, is reported to have had 40 sons. Documents written during or just after Khan’s reign say that after a conquest, looting, pillaging, and rape were the spoils of war for all soldiers, but that Khan got first pick of the beautiful women. His grandson, Kubilai Khan, who established the Yuan Dynasty in China, had 22 legitimate sons, and was reported to have added 30 virgins to his harem each year.

        1. Aha! It’s good to be the Khan!

        2. I knew about the widespread descendants, what I was curious about is how it is a counterexample to the idea that modern man exists in a world devoid of the evolutionary and selective pressures.

          1. OH. Gotcha. Well it said “It can be argued that modern man exists in a world devoid of the evolutionary and selective pressures to which aggression was a beneficial trait”. Aggression was obviously a trait beneficial to Khan’s genetic material, so aggressive males are still being selected for. I’d argue he is a modern man, unless you want to draw some distinction between pre- and post-industrial revolution Homo sapiens.

            The selective pressures on males obviously have changed somewhat since the time that the hand evolved into something like its present form, but I find it ridiculous to say that we’re “devoid” of them, especially those that select for aggression. Even in today’s society, an aggressive athlete will have more mates and more potential children than a timid desk jockey. For another example, see the NBA.

    3. I also call BS on “aggression no longer serves an evolutionary purpose”.

      In many places on this planet, law enforcement is scarce and aggression is needed to protect oneself when necessary (or to protect one’s property).

      Additionally, while punching people at work may be frowned upon in the western world, this is not evidence that aggression in other forms aren’t useful.

      Indeed I would argue that controlled aggression is necessary to be successful in many industries, and more useful in the higher income ranges.

      & since I assume women in the western world are still attracted to successful/well paid men, and women in poorer areas are still attracted to men who can and will protect their an their family’s rights, aggression still serves a very useful evolutionary function.

      I think what the academic meant to say here is that “since aggression is frowned upon a great deal in the academic community, then it must no longer have any evolutionary value.

      Basically stated – since this so-called science person doesn’t think he needs it, it must no longer retain value as an evolutionary trait.

      PS: I also complete agree about science writing; in every “science” magazine, on every “science” website, and even in some scientific journals, what passes for science is absolutely worthless.

      At least all that I’ve come across so far. & FWIW, I have been searching for years…

  26. Fired Philly Cop who punched woman in the face at a parade will go to trial in February.

    1. I presume he’s still on paid suspension?

      1. Actually, no. The chief of police fired him as soon as the video hit, but the union has gone full-retard because it violates their “due-process” of keeping a job and getting paid even after you’re shown on video cold-cocking a woman in the face for no reason whatsoever while on duty. Likely he’ll get convicted but get his job back (so he can get back pay and retire).

        And the taxpayers will be forced to pay for his crime when she sues the shit out of the city.

        BTW, PoliceOne has chimed in. Guess what they are saying?

        1. “Bitch set me up”?

        2. http://www.policeone.com/inves…..er-parade/

          That the police can only protect the public in an environment where they maintain the trust and good-will of the public, which is contingent on maintaining an unimpeachable reputation?

          Further, that in order to maintain this unimpeachable reputation they must not only avoid impropriety and committing unlawful acts? That they must above all be courteous and maintain good self-control regardless of the provocation?

          That’s what they’re saying, right?

          1. It’s like you read their minds!

            Just kidding. No, it was more like this: I hope the Lt prevails. But I no longer have any faith in the Justice system when it comes to fair trails for Police. Often, facts are passed aside for “What if’s” and rightous indignation. Good luck Lt.

            -and-

            He punched her in the head. I don’t think he should lose his job, but punching her in the head was not okay, based on the circumstances and he should be held accountable.

  27. Ohio man who videotaped young boys in the shower sentenced to 15 years in jail and also forced to pay $5,000 to Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting victims.

    WTF?

  28. You will love this one sloopy

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-tape.html

    1. Well there you go…I havent had time to keep up lately and I see that you already linked to it above.

      1. I linked to it in yesterday’s links, and HampR had it as a standing story.

        Yer all late!

        1. I’ve been incommunicado for two days due to travel. Fucking had to leave my wife and new baby (that’s in the NICU) for a 3 hour grab-ass meeting and an afternoon/evening of drinking with people I don’t spend much time with and don’t see.

          One positive was that before the drinking, I got to shoot skeet for the first time in my life. That was pretty fun. I hit a little better than half of my clays, which I thought was OK for a novice.

          1. That’s more than OK, sloopy. You sound like a natural (unless you are already an experience wingshooter).

            1. Never shot at a moving target with a shotgun in my life before yesterday.

              1. well, except for shooting you wife (full of love that is).

              2. Impressive.

                I like the shooting before drinking part, too. I’m continually amazed by the number of people who mix the two.

                1. I like the shooting before drinking part, too. I’m continually amazed by the number of people who mix the two.

                  Used to have an annual event involving the two. But afternoon was for shooting and all weapons were put away before any booze was opened. Night was for drinking. Mixing seems like a really, really, really bad idea.

                2. “I like the shooting before drinking part, too. I’m continually amazed by the number of people who mix the two.”

                  LEAVE DICK CHENEY ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

          2. Sounds fun!

  29. Not only are California’s public employees paid very well by national standards, but the cost of their benefits is proving crippling.

    Arnold got to the chopper just in time.

  30. Sensible reaction in wake of Newtown, CT shootings? San Diego police to have access to live streaming of 1,000 cameras in local schools. They will be able to access them from stations and patrol cars alike.

    I wonder how long it is before San Diego cops get these cameras installed in the locker rooms because, you know, kids do drugs and stuff.

    1. Because if someone is shooting up a school, no one will bother to call 9-11 or anything.

    2. And what will they do with it? We know from history they will sit outside assessing the situation while people inside are being killed.

      1. DON’T YOU QUESTION OUR HEROES.

  31. Man calls 911 and says armed men are robbing him to get the cops there faster (but the man are not armed). Cops show up and shoot unarmed suspect dead. Nobody to face consequences.

    1. He had a hand on his waistband. Everyone knows that that’s grounds for execution.

  32. My expectation is that there will be little major change to gun laws, but we will end up with a massive police presence in every school in the country. This will have no effect whatsoever on mass murder, but will instead ensure that more than ninety percent of students leave high school with a criminal record.

    1. Well eventually criminal records are going to be like nude pictures on the internet – they just won’t be discriminators for anything any more.

      So I guess in the long run, it’s a good thing?

    2. And lots of desk duty for cops banging teenagers.

    3. I know four or five business owners who have told me that they dont consider criminal records in hiring unless it is a sex offense or major theft.

      To quote one; ” That doesnt mean shit. Hell, you can get arrested in Pineville for walking down the street.”

  33. Sarah Silverman PSA opposing big government-

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?f…..pL81PmDdmE

    1. Opposing big government? Um, she claims people are trying to outlaw birth control because she wants wants free shit. Then she proposes that men are not allowed to take part in legislating anything that has to do with reproduction. And I especially like #4, because she has it totally backward (since laws protecting the rights of the unborn actually do help ensure that women will be around tomorrow while abortions actually have a net negative effect).

      Thanks shrikey. You’ve proven your retardation once again.

      1. Sloopy, nothing says small government like government forcing you to pay for my free shit.

        1. Not giving is taking.

          Not paying for free birth control is the same as taking access to birth control away.

          1. That’s what happens when government stops protecting rights and starts granting them.

      2. I’ll put you down for mandatory vaginal ultrasounds.

        1. That’s impossible for more than one reason. And I don’t support them anyway. OK, so she’s batting .250.

      3. Then she proposes that men are not allowed to take part in legislating anything that has to do with reproduction.

        Should I take that to mean that she would also agree that people who don’t own guns shouldn’t be allowed to take part in anything that has to do with guns?

        1. Why do you hate children? Why do you want there to be more victims like the Newtown 20?

    2. Sarah Silverman PSA opposing big government fucking dogs

      She’s much better at this than what you posted.

  34. Open carry causes Walmart panic.

    At least the cops reacted reasonably.

    1. I thought that the type of people who oppose open carry were the type who disparage Walmart and would never be seen shopping there.

      1. It’s mostly talk. Walmart guilt if you will.

    2. While I fully support his right to do what he did, the result of sending customers scurrying OUT the doors will likely be that Wally World bans guns from the store. Not well thought out.

      1. I’m sure that they make a fair amount of money servicing guns. Perhaps they may require that guns be in a case of some sort rather than out in the open, but I doubt they’ll ban them outright.

  35. Police use pepper spray on a crowd waiting to get shoes at a mall in my town.

    Granted, sensible people (not me), try to avoid that mall. I go in because it is easy to go to, and I’m not worried about anyone messing with me.

    But yeah. Not sure what to think of this. Of course, my initial reaction is that the police got carried away, and the whole “spraying in the general direction of the crowd” thing is just ridiculous.

    1. I go to this mall sometimes. Sensible people tend to stay away from it, but I’m not worried of anyone messing with me.

      My initial reaction is that the police overreacted, but I was not there, and I have not seen video footage of the incident. Still, I think spraying at the crowd when only a few people are getting unruly is disturbing, to say the least.

      1. Link SF’d.

        1. Lousy threaded comments: I beat you by a minute, but when people read the threaded comments they’re going to thing you posted first.

          1. Intead of prattling about it, Ted, “PWND” is much more concise.-)

    2. when I try to link, it gives me that spam crap.

      http://www.waff.com/story/2039…..quare-mall

      Might have to copy-pasta.

    3. keeps marking as spam… even if I just paste the URL.

      http://www.waff.com /story/20390749/ pepper-spray-used- on-unruly-crowd-at-madison-square-mall

      take the spaces out

    4. AAAAAAAARGH!

      Keeps marking the link as Spam

      http:// http://www.waff.com/story/20390749/ pepper-spray-used- on-unruly-crowd-at-madison-square-mall

    5. it keeps getting marked as spam.

      1. waff.com/story/20390749/ pepper-spray-used-on- unruly-crowd-at-madison-square-mall

      2. WAFF .com/story/20390749/ pepper-spray-used-on- unruly-crowd-at-madison-square-mall

      3. http://w hnt.com/2012/12/20/ early-shoe-sale-at-madison-square- mall-turns-into-a-riot/

        1. Try taking out the spaces. If I post it whole, it’ll get marked as Spam.

          1. You’re trying to sell shoes. No wonder it keeps getting markes as spam. :-p

  36. Feel the stupid.

    During a press conference on gun control yesterday, Rep. Jim Himes D-Conn. blasted Texas Governor Rick Perry for vocally supporting Second Amendment rights for American citizens after the horrific school shooting in Connecticut.

    “So the notion that more Americans quote unquote in the words of Governor Perry, ‘packing heat’ will make us safer is not founded in reality, in facts or in history,” Himes said bitterly during a press conference. “It is founded in the fantasy of testosterone laden individuals who have blood on their hands for articulating that idea.”

    http://washingtonexaminer.com/…..NMgmaFQjcM

    1. Why does always come down to testosterone fueled madman with these people. Did they get scared watching Commando?

      1. When faced with the facts they have no arguments, so they must make personal attacks.

        The sad part is that they actually feel that they win when they are reduced to name calling.

      2. They just don’t want to be killed last.

    2. “…’packing heat’ will make us safer is not founded in reality, in facts or in history,” Himes said bitterly..”

      Actually it is found in reality, in facts and in history, it just doesnt fit the narrative.

      Try again Jimbo.

      1. Being deprived of self defense makes people safer!

        Besides, it’s better to die with a phone in your hand than live with a gun in your hand!

        Oh, and intentions! Intentions!

    3. “blood on their hands for articulating that idea”

      Hmm, well you would seem to have just as much of a problem with the first amendment as the second then, wouldn’t you…

    4. Uh. More people carrying than ever. Violent crime rates dropping for 10+ years. What the fuck history is this guy looking at? A summary of local TV news?

      1. Liberals run academia, so they get to decide what gets in the official history.

        Most of my history professors in college were pretty liberal, save one. he was the toughest guy I ever had, but he seemed more libertarian than anything else.

    5. I don’t like Rick Perry very much, but when he is right… he makes liberals go into a mouth frothing rage.

  37. He had a hand on his waistband. Everyone knows that that’s grounds for execution.

    “Officers believed themselves to be unsafe.”

  38. Rep. Jim Himes D-Conn. blasted Texas Governor Rick Perry for vocally supporting Second Amendment rights for American citizens after the horrific school shooting in Connecticut.

    IT’S A COOKBOOK SUICIDE PACT!!!!!!

  39. My wife just walked in and told me she heard obama on the radio say that he is taking executive action on gun control…legislators arent working fast enough to suit him.

    Holy shit. This is the guy that handed thousands of guns to the mexican drug gangs. Am I dreaming all this? What the fuck happened to my country?

    1. How did such a petulant child become president? Whhaaaahhhh!!!!! You aren’t doing exactly what I want fast enough so screw the legislative process.

      1. How did such a petulant child become president?

        All the petulant children voted for him…I think the impatient expectations with which many (most?) of us go through life (24/7 access to anything and everything), combined with a binary like/dislike button for publically emoting, leads to a certain comfort with compartmentalized ‘solutions’ prepackaged and available off the shelf. Consideration and reflection take time and effort…children, mostly, cannot appreciate these things.

    2. Not working fast enough? So, in other words, everything sensible people ever say about not passing legislation in five minutes, on a tide of overemotionalism, is…oh, fuck it. Fuck off, slavers.

      1. Saying “you must act now or you never will” in the wake of a tragedy, is admitting your arguments are totally unpersuasive and would never be enacted when people are thinking clearly.

        1. +1 Bill of Rights

    3. When the crappy consequences of crappy legislation (shootings in gun free zones environments rich with defenseless targets for example) results not in the repeal of crappy legislation, but in more legislation (gun control further restrictions on self defense for law abiding citizens), the logical conclusion is totalitarianism.

    4. This completely reactive urgency is so dumb. I think that the thing that annoys and troubles me most about all this is that so many people are acting like there is something new here. As if no one had considered that this sort of thing might happen and now all of a sudden there is a new, emergent problem that needs to be solved now. What the fuck is wrong with people? Either they are dishonest fucks or they are completely ruled by emotion and never really thought about the issue at all. I’d say most politicians fall into the first category.

      1. And most normal people fall into the second.

        1. and if you don’t then you’re a fucking sociopath. At least that’s how it was ‘explained’ to me.

      2. I think of lefties as falling into one of two categories. There are the manipulators and the manipulated. The manipulators are the dishonest fucks, and the manipulated are the emotional fools who fall for the lies of the manipulators.

    5. My wife just walked in and told me she heard obama on the radio say that he is taking executive action on gun control…legislators arent working fast enough to suit him.

      Well, gun control was the centerpiece of this re election campaign.

  40. Speaking of Walmart, this morning on Bloomberg they were saying something about Walmart and guns that I did not quite catch. Hopefully, “Guns are flying off the shelves as fast as we get them in!” and not a change of corporate policy.

    1. “Guns are flying off the shelves as fast as we get them in!”

      guns with wings! omg, they are evolving.

    2. Gun manufacturers would have been wise to donate to Obama’s reelection.

      1. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did–having him in office has been great for business.

  41. My wife just walked in and told me she heard obama on the radio say that he is taking executive action on gun control…legislators arent working fast enough to suit him.

    Will THIS finally be considered grounds for impeachment?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  42. http://truth-out.org/news/item…..un-control

    “Having avoided a politically difficult debate over guns for four years, Mr. Obama vowed to restart a national conversation about their role in American society, the need for better access to mental health services and the impact of exceedingly violent images in the nation’s culture.”

    So he wants to make it easier to disarm the populace, commit people involuntarily, and stomp on the first amendment as well. Brave new world here we come.

    On the other hand, Fuck that guy.

    1. But, he’s so dreamy!

    2. He opposes the 2nd, 13th and 1st amendments.

      1. 2nd, 5th and 1st.

        He opposes the 13th too, but that wasnt where I was going at that time.

  43. “Just give us our money back and we’ll find other vendors for what we need.”

    I endorse this position.

  44. Speaking of His Petulant Omnipotence, some bootlicker was whining about how those evul Rethuglitards are ignoring Teh Mandate, and should just meekly bow down and take it up the ass, because WE WON, THAT’S WHY!

    Amazingly enough, somebody else pointed out that there were other elections held that day, and a lot of those Republican Congressmen and Senators also had been sent to Washington to do the bidding of their constituents.

    1. There is only a mandate when they win. When anyone else wins, it is the result of voter fraud, voter suppression or angry white males throwing a temper tantrum

      You don’t know that by know Brooks.

      1. And if they eke out a narrow victory, it was despite the perfidious voter suppression prevented the landslide that the Democrat was due.

      2. Obama (61 million votes) has a mandate, but gun owners (an estimated 80+ million) are some small, radical lunatic fringe that should be ignored.

      3. There is only a mandate when they win. When anyone else wins, it is the result of voter fraud, voter suppression or angry white males throwing a temper tantrum

        You forgot Secret foreign money stole our democracy

    2. That seems a little backwards. If you are getting strong opposition, it is hard to say to have a mandate, no?

  45. Proper alt text:

    “Think of it as evolution in action.”

    With Hat Tip to Niven and Pournelle.

    1. That book does not get anywhere near enough credit for being one of the first (and best) Cyberpunk novels.

      1. I guess it technically is, but it doesnt have that feel. Which might be why its “one of the best”.

        1. Just checked dates, it predates Neuromancer by 3 years.

        2. It does have a much less depressing feel than the typical Cyberpunk book, and it lacks the anti corporate themes so common in the rest of the Genre but pretty much every other element of Cyberpunk appears in Oath of Fealty and as far as I know it is the first time that all of those elements are tied together into a single work.

          At the very least it should be considered a precursor to Cyberpunk but when you look on Wikipedia you don’t see it referenced at all.

          1. lacks the anti corporate themes

            You mean in its pro-business/anti-government theme?

            1. Yep, kinda like Ayn Rand with androids.

              Course it’s really not even so much pro corporate because the heroes of the story view the corporate entity they work for as a simple tool in their quest to build the world the want.

              They may be high ranking corporate officers but it is clear that they do not love the corporation and are really working their own agendas.

              1. What is the book?

                1. Oath of Fealty by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle

                  Not sure if it is the whole book but since it has been out of print for a long time it looks like Baen has put it up on the web for free here…

                  http://www.baenebooks.com/chap…..555161.htm

                  1. Cool. Thanks.

  46. This should be entertaining. No meaningful gun control is getting out of Congress. So Obama is going to ignore Congress and try to do whatever on his own. I wish him luck with that. Because what will happen is the millions of single issue gun voters will hold Democrats in Congress responsible for Obama’s action. It ought to be fun watching Dem Congress Creatures choose between loyalty to the Kenyan Village Idiot and political survival.

    1. Yeah, this was my first thought when Obama said he didn’t care about the political costs of gun control.

      1. Judging from Joe Manchin’s flip on the issue, I suspect they might choose survival. The idiot is a lame duck after all.

        http://www.politico.com/story/…..html?hp=r1

      2. I’m looking forward to watching the Dems vaporize their political capital in another gun control fight.

        Do it! Bring an expanded assault weapons ban bill to the floor!

        While you’re at it, let’s really put the boot into the mentally ill, which will really piss off some of the more fanatical interest groups who are big Dem supporters. You haven’t been worked over with a lead pipe in politics until you’ve crossed the disability rights crew; those fuckers are vicious.

        1. Is there anyone who really will be pissed off about “mental health” legislation? Besides me, I mean. It seems the left is more interested in giving them “access to help” than protecting them from the state. I never read anyone other than libertarians/anarchists/Thomas Szasz who’s that worried about this.

        2. Speaking of the ADA, it just occurred to me that they do have an untapped (no pun intended) resource here, RC:

          What if they roll out Gabby Giffords and she pulls a James Brady?

          Such a compelling figure could actually sway many a person, and her endorsement of more gun control might be, well, I hate to say it, but here goes, bulletproof.

          1. groovus — they already have.

            http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..-shooting/

            1. I see they have brought out the heavy artillery.-(

              (Am I going to Hell for making all these unintended bad puns?)

            2. National gaurd troops to gaurd our schools?

              Nothing gets a lefty to go full retard like the issue of gun control.

              1. “National gaurd troops to gaurd our schools?”

                Worked well at Kent State.

        3. I worked a power wheelchair issue a few years back. vicious is putting it nicely.

    2. Ninety eight percent of incumbents will win as usual. People don’t learn.

      1. But you have to remmember these are politicians. Losing might as well be death. There are only 100 Senators. Even two or three of them losing is a like a national tragedy to these people. Did you see all the crying that went on because Dick Lugar and Bob Bennett got sent home?

        The thought of even a one in a hundred chance of not being a Senator or Congress Creature anymore focuses their minds. They are that fucking craven.

    3. I think you are right. If he actually manages to do anything, 2014 is going to be ugly for Democrats.

    4. what exactly could Obama due by fiat? I’m not saying he could do nothing – but asking for ideas of the direction he could go without legislation.

      1. Anything from executive orders or having some department draft regulations. Both have the power of law. Separation of powers is so quaint.

      2. SIV, I think, was saying the other night that he could immediately halt any importation of any firearms. I’m not sure what else.

        I think folks were also talking about ways to fuck with the background checks. Something like, if the FBI starts dragging its feet, gun stores are currently allowed to still sell you the weapon after the waiting period, but that’s only because of an executive order, which could obviously be changed. So, change that executive order and stop the FBI from responding in a timely fashion?

      3. Ban all imports of firearms…drag their feet on background checks for, say, 30-60 days or so.

      4. Honestly, nothing that I am aware of.

        He can pass executive orders requiring federal law enforcement to do certain things like enhanced background checks on firearms purchases which are already enshrined into law and UI suppose he could try getting the CPSC, OSHA, or some other regulatory entity to try to effectively ban the manufacture and possibly even sale of some guns but odds are those regulations would not stand up in court but that would really be it.

        For the most part he effectively limited to whining about the issue.

      5. I don’t know, what could Obama do in Libya by fiat, given that Congress has the power to declare war and hasn’t given him any go-ahead?

    5. And again you optimistically and VASTLY over-estimate the independence and liberty-mindedness of the voting public.

      1. It would seem that at least one Senator from WV agrees with me.

  47. Bitchez be trippin!

    Two female McDonald’s patrons become irate when male cashier seeks to verify authenticity of the $50 bill they’re paying with; female patrons jump counter and begin assaulting cashier. Cashier responds by grabbing metal rod and beating them like rented mules.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DecTG-ZY6Qg

    Cashier charged with felony assault, charges later dropped.

    1. Yikes. They aren’t lovin’ it. Why would they freak out when someone checks a bill? This happens to me every time I go to any store and pay with something larger than a $10.

      1. Yikes. They aren’t lovin’ it.

        I just wish it had been a Burger King; that way I could shoehorn in a joke about “having it your way.”

        1. We both missed – in hindsight, the obvious choice was “they deserve a break today.”

          1. We both missed – in hindsight, the obvious choice was “they deserve a break today.”

            Dammit, I wish you hadn’t said anything, because now I’m kicking myself for not thinking of it!

    2. Dude, this video is old–I’d heard about it somewhere else (worldstarhiphop, maybe?), and LOL’d when I found out the cashier had just been released on a murder rap. Those women are lucky he actually showed a bit of restraint and didn’t just beat them to death. The best part is the charges against him were dropped.

      1. Dude, this video is old

        Someone posted it to my Facebook this morning; it was the first I’d heard of it.

        Those women are lucky he actually showed a bit of restraint and didn’t just beat them to death.

        No shit! You do not fuck with somebody who just returned from combat, and you do not fuck with somebody who just got out of prison for murder. They’re lucky he didn’t put their faces in the deep-fryer.

        1. Too many women are conditioned these days to believe that they’re like GI Jane or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and can beat a grown man with impunity. They’re never really prepared for the possibility that the man might decide to demonstrate just how overmatched they really are.

          1. They’re never really prepared for the possibility that the man might decide to demonstrate just how overmatched they really are.

            Very true. I’m sure he could’ve laid them both out very quickly even without the metal rod.

            But the metal rod introduces an element of humor that wouldn’t have been there if he’d just stuck with his bare hands. That and the fact that the women are hidden from view are what make this video funny to me. When all you see is the metal rod going up and down, administering its judgement, it forces you to use your imagination, picturing these silly bitches curled up in a fetal position, sucking their thumbs, and wishing it would stop.

            I don’t think Quentin Tarantino himself could’ve put together a funnier beat-down scene.

  48. ‘Alien’ skulls found

    Nah… just humans with deformed heads. But of course the UFO nuts will claim it is proof of extraterrestrials being here on Earth… WoOoOoOoOoOo

    1. I found some of those in Bolivia. Kept them on my desk until I left there. The locals wouldnt come in the room. They were superstitious as hell. I kept them from stealing gas from my car by tying a chicken’s foot to the gas cap.

      1. “I kept them from stealing gas from my car by tying a chicken’s foot to the gas cap.”

        Once gas hits $5/gal, the “spell” is off.

  49. Man shoots guy twice at Little Caesars in Florida and cites “Stand Your Ground” law.

    I really don’t know the whole situation, but the shooter sounds at fault. I just hate people citing this law illegitimately, because it will undermine the law for those who legitimately need it.

    However, if the shooter was a police officer, I’m sure nothing more would have come from this.

  50. Owners taking rent-controlled apartments off the market; tenants and professional whiners outraged!
    “For Mykaels, the eviction would be devastating. He said it will force him out of San Francisco and away from his community and doctors”

    The horror! He might have to move to a place he can afford instead of free-loading off someone else!
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..133530.php

    1. At least the commenters aren’t complete fucking idiots, like you’d expect from San Francisco.

      1. Normal people in SF are fed up with idiotic bullshit.

        1. Normal people in SF?

          1. Sure.

            Both of them.

    2. You left out the second half of that sentence:

      who have helped keep him healthy in spite of his full-blown AIDS diagnosis.

      I dare say, if you have full-blown AIDS, I wouldn’t describe you as “healthy” by any stretch of the imagination. He’s basically saying that without the docs giving him his drug cocktails, he’s hosed.

      1. I thought “full blown AIDS” meant actually suffering from the disease and by definition not being healthy.

        1. “Full blown AIDS” means he is seriously unhealthy, and has one of the hallmark diseases associated with it, like pneumocystic pneumonia or Kapowsi’s sarcoma.

          The guy is pretty ill and has to have his T-cell count frequently monitored.

          AIDS, like Teh Diabeetus, itself doesn’t kill you: It’s the diseases associated with it that do the job.

          1. You have aids.
            Yes you have aids.
            I hate to tell ‘ya boy that you have aids.
            You’ve got the aids.
            You may have got it when you stuck that filthy needle in here.
            Or maybe all that unprotected sex what you hear,it isnt clear.
            But what we’re certain of is you have aids.
            Yes you have aids.
            Not HIV but full blown aids.

            Be sure that you see that this is not HIV.
            But full blown aids.
            I really mean it yes its full blown aids.

            Im sorry i wish it was somthing less serious.
            But its aids.
            You’ve got the a-i-ds!

          2. AIDS, like Teh Diabeetus, itself doesn’t kill you: It’s the diseases associated with it that do the job.

            Opportunitic infections give me teh sadz!

            Question: once full-blown AIDS has set in, does anti-retroviral therapy become useless?

            1. Magic Johnson has the cure. Just inject money directly into an infected person.

            2. Not quite. HAART therapy, despite what that loony nutbar Terry Michaels claims (Yes, Terry, you are still a kook and scum of the highest order), can extend the life of even folks with full blown AIDS.

              The kicker with HAART and other forms of anti-retrovirals is that it only works once, meaning when the body starts to recognize the altered virus and can actually fend off its effects and keep the T-cell count in check, you cannot miss a dose of the meds and must be taken daily.

              The problem is once the one virus is recognized, if infected again by another round of HIV, HAART therapy is useless and the cycle starts all over again. This phenomenon has been most observed in so-called “bug hunters”, pejorative term for gay men actively seeking the virus thinking that once they have it, they can have all sorts of unprotected sex mistakenly believing they cannot become reinfected.

              1. This phenomenon has been most observed in so-called “bug hunters”, pejorative term for gay men actively seeking the virus thinking that once they have it, they can have all sorts of unprotected sex mistakenly believing they cannot become reinfected.

                I’ve heard of “bug chasers” and “givers of the gift,” but I always figured the only reason someone might actively seek infection was as some sort of nihilistic status symbol or something.
                Not that the real reason is much better; it’s maybe a notch above those Africans who believe the disease can be cured by raping a baby.

                1. KH: I’ve heard of “bug chasers,” but this behavior is regarded as batshit crazy by the vast majority of the gay community, as in I’ve never met anyone speaking approvingly of it. I always assumed it was more mythical, and more of a cautionary tale about unprotected sex.

                  1. Unfortunately Tonio, even in this day and age of being better informed about AIDS and havoc it has wrought, it’s not entirely mythical.

                    You are correct it’s not the norm, but it is a demonstrable phenomenon, as that is one of the ways how it was discovered tenuous and fragile HAART therapy can be.

                  2. KH: I’ve heard of “bug chasers,” but this behavior is regarded as batshit crazy by the vast majority of the gay community . . .

                    I’ve never actually asked any gay men whether this was anythng more than an urban legend, but none of the ones I’ve ever met could I ever imagine doing something that reckless. Still, GM’s explanation at least makes it plausible that someone might actively seek infection.

                    1. Karl (and anyone else who’s interested): In my experience gay men are very upfront and honest about HIV status and when they were last tested. Many of the HIV positive guys get tattoos of the biohazard symbol. The rest of us get tested for HIV every six months just in case. There is no stigma in being HIV positive, but lying, or failure to disclose, HIV positive status will get you ostracized.

                      And, Doc, I’m not doubting that there are bug chasers, I just haven’t encountered any. I’m a middle-aged gay guy living in a third-tier (or lower) city, and I’m not into victim or identity politics.

          3. Kapowsi’s sarcoma.

            I guess the set for Saved By The Bell was more dangerous than anybody could have imagined.

          4. I think you mean “Kaposi’s”, Doc.

            Matrix, you’re a loathsome human being. TFA says he’s an old guy and has been battling AIDS for 12 years, so it’s quite possible that he became HIV positive a long time ago before they really knew what caused it. Even if not, you’re still loathsome.

            And, yes, to kick a terminally-ill person out when he has only months to live and has been living there for “roughly two decades” is a pretty dick move, even if perfectly legal.

            1. Oops! You’re right, Tonio. Had Prof. back in the day that always mispronounced it, and I frequently misspell it.-)

              I didn’t RTFA, FWIW.

            2. What the heck did I do? I didn’t post the link or even talk about the individual.

              1. The poem/song kind of rubbed me the wrong way. Sorry if I overeacted. Stigmatizing AIDS patients is kind of a cultural taboo for me.

                1. The song popped into my head when they kept repeating “full blown AIDS”.

                2. I don’t mean to be mean, Tonio, but I’ve never undersood the different way in which we look at people who got AIDS as a venereal disease while people who got, say, syphilis (Al Capone) or herpes (allegedly Michael Vick as Ron Mexico) get treated as objects of derision.

                  1. That’s OK, Ted. The first cohorts of AIDS patients became infected before it was known that having anal sex without condoms could be fatal. People who became infected more recently have no excuse, but AIDS wiped out a generation of gay men who had no idea they were risking their lives.

                    Back in the seventies the worst known STDs could either be cured with antibiotics (Syphillis, Gonorrhea) or were annoying but not life-threatening (genital warts, herpes). Then all of a sudden gay men started getting this weird cancer and wasting away and it took a number of years for the medical establishment to even figure out what was causing AIDS, and then there was the whole societal debate about how much effort to put into research on a disease which mainly affected homos and junkies.

    3. They are motivated by greedy landlords and speculators who want to make a ton of dough selling” the buildings.

      OMG! Those rat bastards are trying to make a profit off their own property. Have they no shame? And teh chilrenz!

      1. who the fuck wants to sell their property at a loss? The only reason I can think of doing such is if you absolutely have to get it off your books.

      2. The idea behind the word ‘greed’ has caused more evil than all of the boy bands and teen pop stars put together.

    1. Eyjafjallaj?kull

      Im pretty sure they probably spelled that right, but if they just pounded on the keyboard instead, would anyone know?

      1. Im pretty sure they probably spelled that right, but if they just pounded on the keyboard instead, would anyone know?

        Someone texted me a photo of two computer keyboards fashioned into flip-flops. The cation read, “How ‘Twilight’ was written.”

  51. The future of reproduction… without sex

    Just because something can be done, doesn’t mean it should. If this became the norm, we would see significant population reductions generation after generation. Most children are accidental or unplanned. Couples do plan to have kids, but often the female becomes pregnant before the couple intends. And even if the first child was planned, subsequent children aren’t necessarily so.

    1. They won’t be human since those beings don’t pass though the Magical Soul-Giving Vagina, so we can just grow as many as we need for whatever tasks we require doing.

      It’s going to be awesome.

      1. If you can create drones that are not sapient, then it might be pretty cool.

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