Fed To Release $1 Trillion in 2013, Syria Regime Reportedly Near Collapse, Taser Wins Liability Case: P.M. Links

|

Have a news tip for us? Send it to: 24_7@reason.com

The updated Reason app for Apple and Android now includes Reason 24/7!

Don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily AM/PM updates for more content.

NEXT: Student Expelled over Virginia College Racial Incident

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. Khaled El-Masri

    KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-LED!

    1. Come to me, son of Kha-Led! Kneel before Zod!

      1. He already khaled over before he could genuflect.

      2. KNEEEEEEEEEL!

        1. I think he’s better at selling kitchen designs.

          1. Cook before Zod!

  2. It’s part of Obamacare, which Democrats pushed through.

    It’s not their fault they didn’t read it.

      1. How? This thing will come back more times than Freddy Krueger

        1. Kill it again and again and again.

          1. If I’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones, it’s that you have to burn the bodies.

            Also, incest is OK if you’re powerful.

        2. I propose nuking it, and the city from whence it came, from orbit to be sure.

          1. Make sure Ron Paul is out of town first, please.

            1. And Rand, and Amash, and Kristen. That’s about it for my list.

              1. Thought about Amash, forgot about Rand. And any reasonoids, naturally.

                Mea Culpa.

    1. fuck them. i’ve been working this issue. and fuck them.

    2. An effort to repeal the provision failed in Congress in June. At the time, Reid characterized the proposed repeal as a Republican attack on Obamacare.

      Tar and feathers.

      1. Is there a smellier sack of shit in DC than Harry Reid? I can’t think of one.

        1. What is Chuck Schumer, chopped liver?

          1. That’s a tough choice.

          2. compared to Reid? Yes.

        2. My current login password at work is “reidsux”, true story.

          Although every 60 days when it makes me change it I just substitute a new politician’s name before s-u-x; I figure I’ll never run out of viable passwords this way.

          1. I like your method better than mine, which is my initials followed by month/year…

            SUX and a politician…

            *updates all passwords for work & personal accounts….EXCEPT HnR – duh!*

          2. Let’s all log in to GB’s work computer! 😉

  3. It’s Kate Middleton’s fault that nurse killed herself, obviously.

    Eighties British pop star Morrissey wondered aloud if the Duchess of Cambridge should take any blame for the tragic death of Jacintha Saldanha, the nurse who committed suicide after putting through a hoax phone call to the Duchess while she was at her hospital being treated for extreme morning sickness.

    1. If only Morrissey would kill himself. Meat is murder after all, Morrissey, and, well, you are made of meat.

      1. “You promised me a mountain of meat.”

        1. “Get your meat ass out here and have some fun with me!”

    2. If only Johnny Marr had been there to keep Morrissey from making a fool of himself.

    3. “No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us…”

      Those people for some unknown reason take it seriously.

      1. As always, I will point out the Brits had the right idea with Charles 1.

    4. He brings douchebaggery to new heights…

  4. Man-made global warming: even the IPCC admits the jig is up

    1. I predict this will get as much coverage as, oh, just to pick something at random, the Obama campaign’s illegal overseas fundraising efforts.

      1. Or the double-tap droning.

      2. Or the fact that the “consulate” in Benghazi was really a secret CIA prison and the Ambassador was in charge of running guns to Syria.

        1. We’re really living in Corruptiontown, aren’t we. Obama’s the most corrupt monster since corruption came to Corruptiontown (Washington).

          1. Or at least the most corrupt since FDR.

          2. and everyone acts surprised.

          3. “The most co-operative man in this world is a dead man. And if you don’t keep your mouth shut, you’re gonna be co-operatin’. “

            1. STOP THREATENING OBAMA, TIM!!!

        2. Or that unions thugs punched a reporter, knocked down a big tent that had women and children inside, cut off pieces for souvenirs, and destroyed the cart of a hot dog vendor while calling him racist names.

    2. Well the science is settled and the consensus is in.

    3. It’s an eye-grabbing headline, but the IPCC is admitting no such thing. Click through to the original post by Alec Rawls for a far better explanation than whats reported in the Telegraph article.

      It will be interesting to see how the scientific community reacts over the next day or so.

      It will be equally interesting to see if legal proceedings are launched against Rawls for the document leak.

    4. a leaked draft of the IPCC’s latest report AR5 admits what some of us have suspected for a very long time: that the case for man-made global warming is looking weaker by the day and that the sun plays a much more significant role in “climate change” than the scientific “consensus” has previously been prepared to concede.

      Bollocks

      The sun is just a giant gas bag.

      1. So you’re saying the sun should be in Congress?

  5. High-performing charter schools are now being wooed to open new branches by localities seeking education approaches that actually work.

    Time for a little playing field-leveling regulatory intervention!

    1. If you see the comment, these people have their own fantasy world counter-narrative going.

      Who doesn`t want a good school for their kids? Problem is Charters still cherry pick the kids…. Like Harvard,. Why shouldn`t they out perform the others. The public schools must take all,even those worst little hoodlums… If when the Charters fail their privilege of private corporation secrecy would never tell the truth.

      So nothing is ever the fault of public education. They have stupid kids. Charter schools can never be effective because they’re cheating by “cherry picking” kids (as if the unions would really allow that). And they operate under a veil of secrecy, even though they are closely monitored, because they’re corporations.

  6. Nearly four in ten Americans believe current bad weather is a sign that the End is very fucking Nigh.

    http://news.yahoo.com/nearly-f…..03898.html

    1. Wait, the weather is bad?

      1. I just got in from a nice walk. High 40s, sunny, Im not sure how that qualifies as bad for mid December.

        1. It would be here, except for the sunny part, but we have that most of the time.

    2. I don’t believe it.

      There’s no way 40% of Americans know what “nigh” means.

      1. Sure they do. You know, Bill Nigh.

    3. It’s pretty nice down here. Maybe only your part of the world is ending?

      1. I dunno. I think it’s nice outside right now, personally.

        1. UKR and Russia have gotten early and record snowfalls this year, respectively, but the temps are in the average to slightly below average.

      2. It’s snowing and -15C

        1. -7C and lightly snowing outside my window. HA!

          Care for some tea?

          1. NO BERGAMOT

              1. Make it a mint julep and we’re good.

          2. Earl Grey. Hot.

            1. Make it so.

              1. Or, for the season: “Make it ho.”

            2. This is why no one takes libertarians seriously

            3. What is this, two threads ago? Jesus Christ.

              1. Until you learn that all threads are threaded loops, you will know nothing of importance.

              2. Stop Othering me!

      3. Here its cloudy and the temperature has dropped all the way down to the low 70’s.

        I’m not sure if I’ll be able to survuve a winter this bad.

        1. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to survuve it, either.

    4. “Nearly four in ten Americans believe current bad weather is a sign that the End is very fucking Nigh.”

      If you throw in bigfoot, ghosts, mayan calendars, creationism, crop circles….and other assorted superstitioins you could probably get the number up to 99.99%

      1. Christ, I am only on my second vodka and already I mixed up Derider and Shitstick and cant spell ‘superstitionsonsons’. Good grief.

      2. STEVE SMITH WORK HARD TO CONVINCE OTHER 0.01%. OTHER 0.01% WILL BELIEVE END IS NIGH WHEN STEVE SMITH THROUGH SHOWING THEM RAPE DANCE.

        1. Is STEVE SMITH ever through?

  7. 10 Photos of the NHL Lockout

    1. Without having looked at the article, my guess is 9 pictures of NHL players sitting around in their underwear/lazy attire, and 1 picture of a lonely zamboni driving around a rink somewhere.

      1. A couple of lazy hockey players, but mostly a bunch of pictures of Bettman being an asshole.

        And the Biebs, too. He’s in there looking like a chick.

      2. Don’t forget the guy who got arrested for DUI dressed as a teletubbie.

  8. The company now warns police to “avoid chest shots,” which is … helpful.

    Tasers don’t kill people, out of shape, pants-wetting law enforcement officers do.

    1. So ball shots are still in play?

    2. Like most cops can actually place a shot in a predictable spot on target. Also, they’re trained to aim for center of mass with real guns, in the heat of an incident are they going to remember what handgun-shaped weapon they’re holding? BART ring a bell?

      1. Don’t they wear tasers on one side and handguns on the other?

    3. Yeah, this is actually a good development – do we want a precedent for liability suits against gun makers?

    1. At least he died doing what he loves best, riding an invisible horse.

    2. He suffered chest pains shortly after attempting the Gangnam Style dance, at which point he was rushed to hospital. He was pronounced dead at the scene

      Was the scene at the hospital?

      If not, why was he rushed after being pronounced dead?

      Was someone waiting at the hospital to have his or her way with a still-warm body?

    1. Why can’t sluts dress like sluts?

      Or nurses, or nuns, or naughty school teachers, or cheerleaders, or…

      1. sluts are having to up their game in order to become distinguishable from teenagers.

    2. I’m going to expand on that: teenagers are retarded. I was retarded when I was a teenager, you were retarded when you were a teenager, and Tulpa is retarded. That’s just the way it is.

      1. I however was not as retarded a teen as Krugabe. I read Foundation, thought it was cool, but didnt want to be Hari Seldon.

        He not only was that extra retarded, he never grew out of it.

        1. So, very similar to Tulpa.

        2. Jesus, did everyone read The Foundation series when they were a teenager?

          1. Im guessing there is some middle school librarian workshop on directing boys of a certain mindset towards certain books.

          2. I read it earlier than that, and I still like it a lot. Only I didn’t derive my economic and political beliefs from it.

            Me, I want to be a Spacer. Long life, hordes of robot slaves, mostly unlimited wealth.

            1. I read it earlier and hated it. Because it sucked and was stupid. Like you.

              1. I have lone and long suspected you are The Mule, Epi. Not because of any remarkable ability, just the fact you are impotent and a eunuch. -)

                LEAVE PRO’L DIB ALONE!!one!!11

                1. I was wrong before, doc. You suck and are stupid.

              2. No, you suck stupid. You’re a stupid sucker.

            2. And instead you became a lawyer…

          3. Yes, I did as a pre-teen. Loved it. There was something wrong with Seldon’s premises, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

            Then, I read Dune, and everything clicked.

              1. Did Herbert write anything other than Dune that was any good? Everything else I have tried of his sucked hard.

                (Im including the whole Dune series in with Dune, excepting the non-existent prequels that neither he nor anyone else ever wrote)

                1. I’ve liked a couple of his other books, but nothing approaches Dune. One I thought was interesting was The White Plague.

                2. I liked The White Plague and the Destination:Void books, although neither were on the scale of Dune. There’s also a weird one about a human hivemind, but I can’t recall its name. I liked it okay.

                  1. “Hellstrom’s Hive”

                    And I can’t believe that none of you are familiar with “The Whipping Star” and “The Dosadi Experiment” – both of which feature Jorj X McKie and the Bureau of Sabotage.

            1. Incidentally, when Asimov won a Hugo (or whatever) for best series ever, he basically said, “What the fuck? What about Dune or The Lord of the Rings?”

    3. Advertising is not brainwashing. It’s not magic. Advertisements do not alter your brain chemistry. All an advertisement can do and should do is make you aware of the product’s existence, it’s pros and cons, and how to purchase it. If a manufacturer conceals design or manufacturing defects, then they should be held liable.

      Sluttiness, however, is rarely a defect.

      1. I think the answer is obvious: teens rebel during their teenage years. Girls in particular are taking control of their nubile body for the first time and dealing with a shit ton of hormones that demand they attract a mate. So what do they do? Dress provocatively.

      2. There should however be someone at the front door of every every VS acting as a doorman.

        VS advertising sometimes fails to get the message across:

        ‘You must be this hot to ride this ride’

        1. every every?

          I guess I really really want the doorman to be there (or be the doorman).

      3. “Sluttiness, however, is rarely a defect.”

        Even if it is, it’s not something the government should have the power to regulate.

    4. Does anyone else snicker ever time they here the name of the VS teen line. I mean, really, “pink”? She is willing to buy her daughter a gift card for “pink” but doesnt want her seeing the VS photos?

      1. Two comments on Pink:

        1) I once saw a woman wearing a dark purple hoodie with “PINK” emblazoned on it.

        2) It’s really pathetic seeing grown women wearing that line of clothing.

    5. When I was 13, my wardrobe included quite a few tight, low-cut, and generally tacky items of clothing. I even?and this is very likely the most embarrassing confession I will ever make publicly?once bought a tank top with a glittery Playboy bunny printed on it. Now, in my 20s, I favor shifts and cowl-necked sweater dresses, and I spend a good portion of my free time railing against the patriarchy over drinks with friends. Despite my slutty-dressing teen ways, I turned out mostly okay.

      *cough*

      1. is she railing because the patriarchy no longer looks at her? Sounds like, if owning up to a tank top with a bunny on it is her life’s most embarrassing confession.

        1. She forgot to mention the whole “squeezing a size XL muffin top into skinny jeans and a size M slut shirt….”

          NEVER a good look.

          *barf*

          1. This should be prosecuted more stridently than just about any other crime against humanity, as the Muffin Topping & Halter Top combo on a Fattie is not “victimless”.

            Such behaviour is a scourge on society and a cause of blindness and impotence. In fact, “THINK OF THE CHILLUN!” might actually fly here…

      2. [citation needed]

      3. That woman doesn’t actually sound like she has much going on in her life.

  9. Ukraine MPs brawl as PM re-appointed

    Our Parliament almost appears civil in comparison.

  10. Reason number … whatever … that public schools are great for kids.

    A 10-year-old North Carolina boy whose parents say he was traumatized when strip-searched by an assistant principal have sued district officials, alleging a violation of the boy’s constitutional protection from unreasonable searches and seizures.

    “[Holmes] ordered J.C. to remove his shoes, socks, pants, and shirt,” the complaint reads. “When J.C. was stripped down to his undershorts and undershirt, [Holmes] put her fingers inside the waistband of J.C.’s undershorts and ran her fingers around the waistband. [Holmes] also lifted J.C.’s undershirt and searched his bare torso.”

    There’s gotta be a kiddie porn angle in here somewhere.

    1. They had a woman do a strip-search on a boy?

      I’d love to do cross-examine her on this.

      “So, you put your fingers inside his underwear?”

      “You ran your fingers around his hips, groin, and buttocks?”

      “Did you find what you were looking for?”

      1. “Any, shall we say, moisture?”

    2. [Holmes] should be fired, banned from blogging, and sent to jail.

    3. “[Holmes] ordered J.C. to remove his shoes, socks, pants, and shirt,” the complaint reads. “When J.C. was stripped down to his undershorts and undershirt, [Holmes] put her fingers inside the waistband of J.C.’s undershorts and ran her fingers around the waistband. [Holmes] also lifted J.C.’s undershirt and searched his bare torso.”

      You gotta be fucking kidding me. How the hell has this lady not been put on leave with pay pending a transfer yet? How?

      1. procedures were followed. And nothing else happened. School safety is paramount. You act like you haven’t seen this before. It’s not just cops.

      2. Holmes no longer works at the school and retired in June, the Fayetteville Observer reports.

        Don’t worry, she has her big pension.

    4. I am waiting for;

      “Now that sounds liek it works to me!”

      /Pedobot

      1. Ugh.

        …for me!

        1. Keep your preferences to yourself.

    5. Holmes ultimately did not find the missing $20 bill, which was later found on the cafeteria floor by another teacher.

      AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED! (or have we completely moved on to “Fuck you, that’s why” as the standard response?)

    6. What on earth? And the school board actually defended this?

      Note to self: Further encouragement of wife to homeschool daughter or save more money to go to private school

  11. Everybody’s a critic – crazy Polack defaces valuable Mark Rothko art, goes to jail.

    1. So, here is a link with the “artwork” pictured.

      “Complications to this work include the unique painting technique used by the artist and the fact the ink used by Mr. Umaniec has permeated the paint layers and the canvas itself,” he said.
      How the fuck can this be?

      1. Apparently the kid subscribes to an art movement called Yellowism. That’s why his cell, and all its contents, should be painted yellow. And not just any yellow, but the sort of dull, nasty piss-yellow that you can still see after you close your eyes.

    2. The guy’s website: all about yellowism.

      Sample: “Yellowists know already that yellowism is a prototype of the future cultural phenomenons.”

      1. Where?

          1. Thanks. Also: dahel? What is that? Where’s the Yellow?

      2. Now I have to pee.

      3. “Through our ceremonies and rituals we have witnessed the awesome and vibratory power… of color.”

  12. The flood of new money promised by the Federal Reserve for 2013 will likely exceed $1 trillion.

    What could possibly be the downside of more money?

    1. What could possibly be the downside of more money?

      Don’t you know anything?

    2. What could possibly be the downside of more money?

      Absolutely none. Everybody gets to be instantly rich, and all it costs is some paper and a few ink cartridges.

    3. Nothing really. The Fed is buying real assets with that new money – MBS and Treasuries.

      I know – Zimbabwe!

      1. The Fed is buying real assets with that new money – MBS and Treasuries.

        Also known as “monetization of debt”, the traditional last gasp of bankrupt nations, generally followed by monetary collapse and hyperinflation.

        1. That is the problem of Congress. Fix the deficit and all will be well. If we could go back to Clinton spending levels everything would be fine – don’t you know?

          Uhh, sorry. I brought Bush into it again. Verbotten here.

          1. since you brought him up, let’s start by going back to Bush levels of spending. That would be a quantum leap over the current kind.

          2. It’s only verboten when you claim Obama is free of any wrongdoing. I like that you think people attacking you for Obama worship is the same thing as people supporting Bush. It is possible to hate both of them you know.

            1. The turd polishing dunce has had that explained to him many times. Like all leftists he sees only what he wants to see. The simple narrative is the only one he can understand.

              Besides, he is bitter because he is short and can never have the really good pussy. Never. Women dont like short.

              1. You’re wrong. I am 6’2″ and 220. But I am aging and do sometimes feel like a pussy.

                UGA grad 1981.

          3. Yes, clearly we defend Bush’s spending record around here all the time. Derp.

          4. That is the problem of Congress.

            The Fed is facilitating these deficits by rigging the bond markets. As an accessory and co-conspirator, the Fed is equally culpable.

    4. Meh. It’s in 2013 dollars.

    5. Inflation isn’t monetary, it’s all about prices! Pauli Krugnuts told me so! Do any of you glibertarians have a Nobel Prize in Economics? Didn’t think so! LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA not listening!

      1. My favorite aspect of the Krugman obsession on the left is that Krugman won his Noble Prize for writing about New Trade Theory. He didn’t win it for anything related to stimulus spending.

        Meanwhile, Thomas Sargent DID win his Nobel in Economics for research related to stimulus spending, and he thinks stimulus spending doesn’t work.

        Yet Krugman is the one leftists hold up as the expert on stimulus. Huh.

        1. See here, Iggy. The (dismal) science is settled!

        2. that’s one of the things about the left – it frequently is exactly what it accuses its opponents of being, in this case interestingly enough, anti-science. The science must be ignored because it fails the ideological purity test. Had Sargent shown stimulus to be successful, he would be the new go-to econ guy on every channel and for every paper.

          1. True. Plus all the accusations of lying, wanting to enslave people, not caring about the workers, etc. A tremendous amount of psychological projection happens in politics.

    6. If U.S. assets are so damn desireable and our government is so low-risk, how come the Fed has to fund the entire fucking deficit itself?

      1. Hey! Look over there! Syria has chemical weapons!

      2. The Fed only owns a small portion of the $16 trillion of US debt.

        $1.6 trillion actually.

        1. I see that number for January 2012. I wonder what it is today?

          I also wonder: how do they account for debt that is under swap or repo agreements?

          1. We’ll have to wait for the results of the Fed’s annual audit to be released.

        2. Goddammit! I know it’s Thursday and I’m not supposed to feed the fucking trolls, but I can’t let this one slide.

          Ten percent is not a “small” portion. And the only other single portion larger than the Federal Reserve’s is the Social Security (Dis)Trust Fund, weighing in at 2.67 trillion.

          1. The last I heard, the Fed was buying @70% of US debt. And don’t we sell bonds monthly? A lot has been sold since January.

          2. And the only other single portion larger than the Federal Reserve’s is the Social Security (Dis)Trust Fund, weighing in at 2.67 trillion.

            The Fed’ll own that too, soon enough.

        3. He said deficit, not debt, you dumbass.

          Learn to read and discern the difference.

  13. Manitoba hits drunk drivers with harsher laws

    Dec. 15, anyone convicted, even for the first time, will have to pay to install an ignition interlock device in their car at a cost of $2,000.

    It’s a victimless crime.

    1. You say victimless crime, I say rent-seeking GOLDMINE!

      1. And more control! Never forget the control!

    2. Drunk driving isn’t exactly victimless. Peaceful drinking, however, is.

      1. Two drivers:

        Both leave a bar and drive home shortly before last call. One swerves on the road slightly, but otherwise arrived home without incident.

        The second driver arrives home also without incident, but drives slightly slower than the speed limit.

        The difference? The first drive is impaired from lack of sleep, yet opted not to imbibe alcohol.

        The second driver did.

        Now, add accidents for both drivers. Prosecute the accident, not the root cause.

        Are you sure it isn’t exactly victimless?

        1. Not victimless, but it does significantly add to the risk of causing or being involved in an accident. I’m fine with laws against driving under the influence of alcohol, as long as they’re objective.

          Of course, what the Manitobans are doing goes well over the line.

          1. Not victimless

            Please find demonstrable harm in my hypothetical (which is a real life anecdote; I was the sleep deprived resident swerving behind my fellow P
            GY’er).

            My point is that there are a slew of risk factors and medical conditions that are just as dangerous (if not more) than DUI of alcohol or other CNS depressants, hypnotics, and somnolents.

            This is not even factoring in distracted driving, like applying make-up, eating a cheeseburger or Sausage McMuffin (I REALLY MISS THOSE!), or even dribbling hot coffee or tea on your lap whilst driving.

            A crime requires demonstrable harm to another, and I make this argument as a physician who has patched up legit victims of DUI related and other MVA’s.

            1. If it helps you feel better, I had TWO fresh, delicious Sausage McMuffins? this morning on the drive in.

              I ate them in remembrance of you, Groovus.

            2. Victimless isn’t really a good word for what I’m trying to convey. I’d just say that if you’re driving impaired to the extent that you’re dangerous to others, you shouldn’t be allowed continue.

              You listed a number of other factors that should be similarly considered.

              If the law punishes people disproportionately, then it’s not objective.

              And I freely concede a relative lack of experience on the matter. You’re the real doctor. I’ve just got a handle.

              1. You’re the real doctor. I’ve just got a handle.

                Holy shit, Groovus. I think he just called you dickless or something.

                1. “Holy shit, Groovus. I think he just called you dickless or something.”

                  What?

                  1. It was a poor attempt at a joke. You defer to him and then say that you have a handle, implying that he doesn’t.

                    You know what? If I have to explain it, it’s either over your head or its an awful joke. I think we know which happened here. Hint: it isn’t you, it’s me.

                    1. Meh, you’ve made worse jokes, sloop. Truth be told, I don’t especially like the title, and was never really comfortable with it. I ask my patients and staff to address me by my first name, so Groovus or Groov will suffice, since I am laid back and it can make Dr./Patient encounters more pleasant. Also lowers the likelihood of being sued (by about 33%) if your patient actually regards you favourably personally.

                      It’s one of the things I like about UKR, since professional titles are eschewed, and respectful forms of address utilize using the first and middle name, like “Zravstvujte, Groovus Awesomevich!” The occupation is referred to separately, like “vrach” or “hrurg”, as something one does for a living and not a formal title.

                    2. My second name begins with a J. Try spelling that for Russians. Worse was when they wanted the initials. 🙂

        2. Hopefully, driverless cars will become a reality, and this will be a moot point in 5-10 years.

          1. If the driverless care allows for the possibility of manual override, forget it.

            Even then, I doubt it will be moot.

            Exhibit “A”: Current LEGAL cannibis legislation, both medical and recreational.

            1. The manual override could include a breathalyzer. If you’re trashed, it will drive you home whether you want to be in control or not, thank you very much.

              Also solves a slew of other driving risks.

              1. The manual override could include a breathalyzer.

                France and other countries have already made this mandatory in soon-to-be released car models, so it kinda negates the driverless car idea. Better yet, the Euros and joe p. boyle-on-the-ass-humanity central planner types have a perpetual hard-on for TRAINZ and public transportation for a reason…

                Euro-landia is MUCH more strict than the USA WRT to alcohol impaired driving. In UKR, you will go to prison for the first offence, unless you are packing some hefty bribe-age, and even then, it’s iffy.

                Also, this is only limited to cars: What about other modes of conveyance, such as bicycles, scooters, and motorcylces?

          2. What happens when the cars are all hopped up on E85 ethanol – DRUNK DRIVERLESS CARSZOMG CARMAGGEDON!!!11!

            1. What happens when the car is preloaded with Apple Maps instead of Google Maps? It’ll be like Maximum Overdrive, a movie that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

              1. Stephen King’s directorial masterpiece!

          3. Dude, those driverless cars are going to have all sorts of accessories to inebriate the driver. It will be half the fun.

    3. At some point someone’s gonna invent suppositories that monitor BAC continuously just to see how far the state will go in mandating For Our Own Good.

      1. There was a Discovery Channel series that guessed at the future (Earth 2025 or something maybe?). They had proposed space elevators, all sorts of things. But the one that stuck out was the guy who had a contract with an insurance company and drank “over the allowed limit”, but then developed cirrhosis of the liver and needed a transplant, which they could now grow cell-by-cell for people. The insurance company wouldn’t pay for it though because his bathroom monitored his piss and reported the high BAC back to the company.

        Crazy shit.

        1. Private health insurance in 2025? HAH. It will all be government controlled by then.
          It won’t the insurance company denying your claim, it will be President Bieber.

          1. Canadians are able to be president of the U.S. in 2025? I don’t want to live in such a world!!!

            1. Episode 3 had the US and China about to get in an oil war, then the crew of the space elevator station made a solar panel breakthrough.

            2. PResident Tebow, you mean.

          2. Sexist! It will obviously be President Levigne.

        2. 2057. I remember that. 50 years from 2007.

          1. Thanks. I had originally googled 2050 and there was a show with that name but it was only about energy.

            Earth 2057 was pretty good but I still couldn’t help but see the perceived socialism everywhere, and that made me very scared.

            1. I was still a little technocrat communist calling myself a Republican back then (don’t ask, just be glad I was too young to vote), so I didn’t notice, but looking back, I concur.

  14. Statistical analysis used to crack Founding Father’s code.

    1. What the hell is a perfon?

  15. Anaheim Angels (yes, they’re in ANAHEIM) sign Josh Hamilton.

    I’m sure Welch is thrilled, although he’s going to break down in 3 years tops and I doubt he can close games like their bullpen needs.

    1. Three years? I heard he had a hard time focusing on the writing in the contract.

      Hamilton is falling apart at the seams. He’ll be a bigger flop in LA (according to the team’s website, they’re in LA) than Manny.

      1. I know they’re officially the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, but I refuse to call them that.

        And you’re right about him falling apart, but as long as he doesn’t fall off the wagon with his personal demons he’ll have a solid year this year, especially with that protection in the line-up with Trout, Pujols, and Trumbo.

      2. Thanks to the LA teams for taking all the dead wood off the market for 2 straight years.

        -Yankees, Red Sox, Giants, etc.

        1. Did the Yankees not just hand that disgusting, washed-up bum Kevin Youkilis $12 million, or was I just imagining that?

          1. You think renting Youkilis for a year is worse than giving Hamilton $125 million?

    2. Thanks for taking that decision off our hands. I love the guy, and still have a “2010 AL MVP” little figure of him sitting here on my desk, but the dude isn’t worth what you had to pay.

    3. Pujols wasn’t enough. Meanwhile the SF Giants win with routine players who over perform.

      1. That’s what worries me about the Dodgers’ spending spree. They’re going to have the deepest rotation, the best bullpen, and a solid lineup on paper, but there’s always an intangible factor with leadership and responding to pressure that kicks in during October.

        Still, can’t wait for April.

        1. According to the documentary Back to the Future, 2013 is the first year in a trio of World Series wins for the Cubbies!

          1. Wow. Sorry, buddy. BTTF was just fiction. And your dog didn’t really go to a farm.

    4. They are the CALIFORNIA Angels, you non-Autry loving bastard.

      1. Also, unless Hamilton starts pitching in middle relief (where we kept getting our shit pushed in) he could return to MVP levels and we’d still lose

    5. Too bad that $125 mil will evaporate quickly living in CA.

    6. You mean “California Angels” bro — some of us are old school.

    7. I prefer to call them the California Angels of California.

  16. A Dutch upgrade your home alarm system

  17. “Now that Colorado and Washington have legalized possession of up to an ounce of marijuana, Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) wants to know how the Obama administration will enforce federal laws prohibiting pot.

    On Thursday, Leahy called for a hearing of the Senate Judiciary Committee, which he chairs, to discuss the discrepancy.

    “Federal policy and now state policies are in conflict and so that raises the question of how that conflict will be resolved,” says spokesman David Carle.”

    http://7d.blogs.com/offmessage…..olicy.html

    1. “”Federal policy and now state policies are in conflict and so that raises the question of how that conflict will be resolved,” says spokesman David Carle.”

      How about, oh, a reasonable drug policy?

      1. I would pay good money for Patrick Leahy to take his shoe off and bang the table with it while screaming “FEDERAL SUPREMACY!” at the C-SPAN camera.

  18. B.C.’s debt rating downgraded by Moody’s

    The prominent credit rating agency Moody’s Investors Service has downgraded B.C.’s financial outlook, lowering the province’s debt rating from stable to negative.

    Fuck you, cut spending.

    1. I remember someone posted a page where you could try your hand at balancing the B.C. budget. It wasn’t even that hard. I guess they didn’t listen.

  19. Ken Watanabe is starring in a Japanese remake of Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven. Here’s the first trailer (in Japanese).

    I like samurai films, so this looks pretty good.

    1. That’s teh awesome.

    2. Samurai films are OK, but Ken Watanabe is pure fucking genius in everything he’s ever done.

      That’s gonna kick ass.

      1. Have you seen Tampopo? If you like ramen, or even if you don’t, I highly recommend it as a must-see Watanabe film.

    3. Ken Watanabe is starring in a Japanese remake of Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven.

      Yeeessssss…….

    4. Its come full cirlce.

      First we had western remakes of famous samuri films and now we’ve got samuri remakes of famous westerns.

  20. Helmets in Curling???

    1. Is there nothing the NFL can’t ruin?

      Also, I blame helicopter parents.

      1. It’s a sport you play on ice while drinking copious amounts of beer and/or liquor. I’m not so sure helmets are such a bad idea.

        1. By that line of thinking I should be wearing a helmet whenever I go out drinking.

          1. The ultimate contact sport!

          2. Well, maybe you should. Are you a Canadian and do you do your drinking on ice? Remember flappy heads can screw up one’s equilibrium.

            1. Canadians have ethylene glycol for blood, so their brains are more insulated against shock D/T the specific gravity (1.125) of antifreeze and larger craniums with more space for suspension. The brains, on the average, are smaller for some reason…

        2. wear a cage and not a face shield. I had a teammate puke in a face shield.

        3. It’s a sport you play on ice while drinking copious amounts of beer and/or liquor. I’m not so sure helmets are such a bad idea.

          The seniors are much more likely to break a trochanter or suffer a Colles fx than experience head trauma.

          However:

          Capp wears a special protective headband, with extra padding to protect the back of the head.

          This is probably wise for less coordinated people, though if balance is that much of an issue, it may be wise to abandon the sport, full stop.

          1. Shuffleboard on Ice!

            1. Or is shuffleboard really just curling for those who can’t stand on ice?

              1. Mind. Blown.

  21. Russia and NATO say that Syria’s rather nasty regime is nearing collapse.

    It’s going to be so awesome to see the knots the Obama-fellating intellectual class tie themselves into when the Free Syrian Army gets its hands on Syria’s real Greco-Roman heritage sites. This is how they treat lawn ornaments.

    1. I’m more concerned with how they act when they get their hands on Syria’s real chemical weapons. I’d be willing to bet the Israelis are as well.

    2. Dude, we’ve been saying that about everything for a while now, and we know what will happen: crickets, or lies, or cognitive dissonance. These people are intellectually bankrupt and bonecrushingly stupid to boot. They’re scum. They’re barely even human.

    3. Bad linky, HM.

  22. The hot new fashion sensation that’s sweeping the nation – men’s leggings!

    (Aka, “meggings”)

    http://shine.yahoo.com/the-thr…..00978.html

    1. I hate to break it to you but Warty exclusively wears those. That or a muumuu. He hates pants.

      1. I hate to break it to you but Warty exclusively wears those. That or a muumuu. He hates pants.

        I take it that’s an image I should try very hard not to picture in my mind?

      2. The only thing worse than shoes is pants. Fuck pants.

        1. Warty also hates soap and dandruff shampoo.

          1. I clean myself in a steam tent with sand and a scraper and a small boy, just the way God intended.

            1. You always have to do everything your way, don’t you?

        2. So basically, you walk around like Porky Pig every day?

    2. The End Times are upon us. Or Shakespeare in the park.

    3. The hot new fashion sensation that’s sweeping the nation – men’s leggings!

      Gay. 100% undiluted gay.

      NTTAWWT.

      1. That’s not gay, it’s just super pussy retarded.

        Jerri: Mr. Noblet wants me to snitch on a friend.

        Jellineck: Snitching doesn’t seem like you, Jerri.

        Jerri: Oh, it’s not what you think. It’s not like snitching on a real person. She’s–

        Jellineck: Gay?

        Jerri: Retarded.

        Jellineck: Yes, most of them are.

        Jerri: Most who are what?

        Jellineck: Most gay people are retarded.

        Jerri: Does that mean Kimberly Timbers is gay?

        Jellineck: I don’t know. Hey! Make a pass at her and find out. She’d have to be retarded to turn you down!

        1. Would have made a great Seinfeld episode, Kramer in meggings.

          1. “Who doesn’t want to wear the meggings?!?”

            or

            “You put the what on?!? Who told you to put the meggings on?!?”

            1. “Meggings? Feh. Me? I wear Mights!”

              1. “Meggings!”

                “No! Brogs!”

                “Meggings!”

                “Brogs!”

    4. I think meggings will be a hit. They probably make your junk look huge. And chicks dig that.

      1. Its the dunlap at the top that I don’t want to see.

      2. This is going to be awesome. I have a favorite pair of dress pants that hangs just perfectly to show off the major details of my dong when I stand. My favorite thing is to go into womens’ offices on some pretense and stand there talking to them while they can’t take their eyes off my massive glans outlined exquisitely by my pants.

        With meggings, it’ll be like that all the time!

    5. So basically yoga pants for men. I could have called this a year ago.

      I can’t wait for the days when we pull clothes off the wall like in Idiocracy.

    6. Better than skinny jeans.

      1. Better than skinny jeans.

        Possibly. I still believe that any man who wears these is unconsciously signalling his willingness to be gang-raped.

    7. FTA: Glamour: According to reports, it’s the British.

      Aha! Searching for a more comfortable moose knuckle I bet.

    8. I wear those all the time. I call them long underwear. They are great under ski pants.

    9. Meggings and jorts, there’s a combination.

  23. Eighteen Democratic U.S. senators and senators-elect are objecting to a new tax on medical devices that’s already killing jobs and discouraging innovation. It’s part of Obamacare, which Democrats pushed through.

    Well, they had to pass the bill to find out what was in it.

    Its sort of absurd how often politicians advocate policies, then pretend to be aghast when they have obviously forseen negative consequences. Like wealthy French heading to Belgium. It seems like some people believe Taxes will ‘solve’ problems and have no other repercussions…. despite all of economic history demonstrating otherwise

    1. it is politically expedient to feign outrage after the fact, knowing that no one will question whether you actually knew what was going to happen when you supported the legislation.

      The massively uninformed far outnumber those who pay attention.

    2. If Team Red has an ounce of balls or brains, they will quickly propose a bill to eliminate the tax…and attach a 50% reduction in the size and scope of the EPA to it. Now that’s the kind of compromise we need.

      1. They have neither, don’t worry.

    3. As I said when I posted this in yesterday’s links. These guys should be tarred and feathered and ridden out of town on a rail. I am agreeable to doing this to the rest of the Senate as suggested by others.

    4. I looked up an article about that just now. The first comment on the article was a small business owner mentioning that Obamacare taxes and compliance might put him out of business.

      The second comment was a person telling the business owner that ‘Maybe his company wasn’t a viable business’ if these taxes are enough to drive him under.

      In other words, if the government drives you out of business, it’s your fault.

      1. “viable” is understood to mean “a viable candidate to be plugged into the matrix and used as a source of energy for the vast bureaucracy-machine”

        i mean, the purpose of ‘business’ isnt to feed yourself or clothe and shelter yourself… government takes care of that! business is to FEED THE BEAST ITS YUMMY TAXES

      2. “You didn’t fail that. Somebody else made that happen.”

  24. Sloopy –

    Dunno if you read yesterday, but I had made a bet a while back with Groovus that captain zero would fail to be re-elected. Yeah, I know, I know, dont say it.

    Anyway I lost and owe him a bottle of scotch. He suggested that I send it to someone closer, as in, in the states. There are many deserving candidates here, but since you have the new baby, congratulations by the way, you are the most suitable and I think everyone agrees.

    If you and Banjos wish to receive this it would be my great pleasure to send it to you. Simply click my name and email me with your preferred brand and an address for me to send it to.

    Again, congratulations on the new member of your family and I hope all is well.

    1. I’ll do that right now. But beware sending it through FedEx. I almost got arrested sending Jim (Gojira) some beer last year when one of the bottles broke in transit. Fucking FedEx guy showed up with a city cop there to give me a lesson on how I broke the law and could have been arrested and fined several thousand dollars.

      1. He should hand-deliver it to you. He did lose a bet after all, which as we know is the worst thing anyone can do.

      2. whoa. really?

        at my first ‘corporate’ job id frequently fedex things like beer or pizza or porno mags or old socks or all my pens that had run out of ink to friends in other corporate entities around the country. must have spent a grand in company overnight costs. never even got asked why i was always in the mailroom. now that i know thats wrong, i will use more steyrofoam peanuts. or maybe *just* steyrofoam

    2. They just had a baby and you wanna send them scotch!?

      Don’t you think that’s a tad bit irresponsible?

      The baby could drink it and die! Or sloopy could go off on a bender and shakes the baby.

      No, no, no, BAD idea.

      Listen, send the scotch to me and I’ll hold it for sloopy until the baby is an adult, then I’ll mail it to him. It’s the responsible thing to do.

      Jeeze louise, some people!

    3. I might suggest finding a distributor that ships it. They will know the laws and rules. Definitely don’t go through USPS.

      UPS

      FedEx

    4. What brand you going for, sloopy?

      1. I’m notorious for accepting whatever anybody sends me with grace and aplomb. Suthenboy is a man of refined taste, so I’m sure anything he sends will be more than acceptable.

      2. Ken likes Canadian Club. Oops, that’s not a scotch.

      3. Since you were my first choice, RC, maybe you should help select the coveted bottle of scotch. -)

        It’s all up to Suthenboy though. -)))

  25. The company now warns police to “avoid chest shots,” which is … helpful.

    Officer Barbrady: “That’s no way to uphold the law! You’ve got to hit ’em in the head, they go down faster!”

  26. Picked up two six packs of Sierra Nevada’s Celebration Ale on the way home this evening. Enjoying a mug full now. Incredible.

    1. Celebration is very good. Their Bigfoot Barleywine is retarded. Torpedo is very hoppy, but good. All their shit is good.

      1. Retarded good or retarded Tulpa.

        I love Bigfoot.

        1. But not in a STEVE SMITH way.

        2. Retarded good. It’s delicious, but outrageous.

        3. Retarded good or retarded Tulpa.

          More like “retarded generic Brand”. I gave up beer for the month of December in a weight-loss effort, mostly because I will be blasted for the 5 days surrounding New Years. But damn there are a lot of good winter beers I’m missing out on right now.

          1. I gave up beer for the month of December in a weight-loss effort

            After no weight change a month after upping my running days to 5 a week, I think I might have to make this type of awful change soon.

            1. You know, binging and purging is a tried and true weight loss method.

            2. Just eat less, dumbass, or even better, lift some weights.

            3. By the way, Auric, did you ever figure out what you are doing when you come down to Central FL? I thought I remember you saying January before.

          2. You idiot, you’re already far too fat for any woman ever to love you. Give up and enjoy delicious beer like the rest of us.

            1. I keep telling my girlfriend that but she still won’t dump me! Better stop showering, soon, too.

              Teach me your disgusting ways, Warty-sensei. I am your humbre padawan.

      2. Odd how it really does taste seasonal though it is a solid IPA.

    1. I saw the Gangnam Style dance at a metal show last night. THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH.

      1. I still don’t know what that is.

        1. be thankful.

        2. HEYYYYYYY SEXY LADAYYYYYYY

        3. Just go watch it with the sound off. It has cute girls in it.

        4. I would not know either but, goddamn, my bro sent me a clip of Terry Bradshaw (dad’s favorite quarterback) dancing it. I was obligated to watch as a kind of family duty.

    2. Professor Bernard Keavney, a consultant cardiologist at Newcastle University, has warned older men not to “stray outside your comfort zone” while dancing at their Christmas parties this year.

      I blame his wife. Regular intercourse should be part of every middle-age man’s cardiovascular regimen. For health purposes, of course. Failure to do so would result in heart problems, which may require healthcare, which would increase the burden of cost on the taxpayer.

      In short, by not having sex with men, women are creating a public health and financial hazard to the state.

    3. Post @ 4:33

    4. Mr Kilbride, an IT manager, had three children, Laurajade, 22, Jack, 21, and Conor, 18, all of whom are at university …

      “…and who all say they will forever remember their father as ‘a horrific embarassment and a silly twat.””

  27. US uses drone bombing strategy that it decries as a war crime when others do it.

    the feed highlights a disturbing tactic employed by the U.S. that is widely considered a war crime.

    Known as the “double tap,” the tactic involves bombing a target multiple times in relatively quick succession, meaning that the second strike often hits first responders.

    A 2007 report by the Homeland Security Institute called double taps a “favorite tactic of Hamas” and the FBI considers it a tactic employed by terrorists

    1. For those keeping score, we’ve basically adopted the most effective tactic of 9/11.

      1. and from the FYTW handbook, it’s time for another round of “it’s okay when we do it.”

  28. Taser International won a product liability lawsuit brought on behalf of a man who suffered cardiac arrest and long-term brain damage after being zapped. The company now warns police to “avoid chest shots,” which is … helpful.

    The problem isn’t taser, the problem is the cops who overuse it. It would be like suing glock for permanent nerve damage caused by a cop who shot you in a wrong door raid.

  29. I’m usually against pork, but I think I can get behind this petition to the White House to build a Death Star. Its just as legit as the secession petitions.

    The petition, which calls on the US government to “secure funding and resources” and “begin construction” on a Death Star by 2016 needs 25,000 signatories if it is to be considered by officials.

    The campaign’s founder, identifying himself only as “John D”, is based in Longmont, Colorado, and registered the petition on the White House website on November 14.

    1. Too much power in the hands of the Empire. I hope the petition calls for womprat-sized ventilation ducts.

    2. And once it is built President Obama can dissolve the Senate (and the House) permanently. Regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local states in line–fear of this battle station!

    3. “Why do we have two moons now?”

      “That’s no moon!”

      1. I got a bad feeling about this.

    4. Wouldn’t that require some sort of heavy-lift capability?

      1. That’s what you’re worried about? How about we get the artificial 1g gravity generators worked out first.

        1. I was hoping it would be big enough to create its own field. But even if not, I don’t think I’d include that as a requirement in the solicitation.

          1. I wondered about that at one time. But even if it is moon sized, it still needs to be far more dense to have anything approaching the field that they were in.

            1. Well it does carry around enough energy to annhiliate a planet – I would imagine that whatever stores the energy, would be pretty dense.

  30. CW to the produce reality show based on The Hunger Games called ‘The Hunt’.

    Two teams are dropped into the wilderness with no food and water and will must try to capture the other teams to win a cash prize. So basically they pussied out on making it an actual fight to the death between children.

    1. Baby steps, dude. Baby steps. We’ll get there…eventually.

      1. Battle Royale. There is no substitute for the original.

        1. Beat me to it.

        2. I love the film. Takeshi Kitano!

    2. Y’know, the Japanese already thought of this. It’s called Battle Royale.

  31. Last night I discovered that my wife has never seen Highlander. I…I just don’t know what to believe anymore.

    1. Your vetting process was lacking.

    2. It hurts….doesn’t it?

    3. A friend of mine, who is the youngest member of my social group and still in his 20s, was confused when someone made a “there can be only one” reference last week. “Is that from Highlander or something?”

    4. I guess there can’t be only one.

    5. The downside of dating a 25 year old? She’s never seen Office Space, Heathers, or The Godfather. I’m sure Highlander is on the list, too. Which reminds me, I need to make a remediation schedule.

      1. I DVRd Godfather and Godfather 2 on Thanksgiving. I had somehow never seen them.

        1. I literally just fell over.

          1. So someone want to tell me why some say 2 is superior to 1?

            The Godfather, is from beginning to end, excellent. Two is very good too, obviously, but nowhere near as consistently good as the first.

            1. DO NOT WATCH NUMBER 3!

            2. There are some as would say the first one insists upon itself.

            3. It’s a debatable point, but II is more ambitious with the flashback scenes and, of course, the dynamic between Pacino and Cazale.

            4. There are a lot of understated details you pick up on in second and third viewings that the first one, being very plot driven did not add to a significant extent.

              I think you can watch the first one more casually than the second, but I like them both.

        2. For someone who knows so much about the Greater Seattle Area, I am appalled that you know nothing of the Godfather series. Of course, I’m sure you’ll show up here in a few days to rigorously argue Godfather III was the best in the series.

          1. You mean you weren’t won over by Sofia Coppola “acting”?

            1. Her best work since being the nude model on the cover of Redd Kross’: Third Eye.

        3. The original is worth spending 3 hours sitting down. The second one has its moments, but its not the first. Still worth seeing, though.

        4. If you fall asleep while it’s on, does that count as watching it? If so, I’ve seen the first Godfather

    6. Well, begin with remedying the situation. Afterwards, show her the sequel and see how she reacts. If she claims to like it, send her to a reeducation camp.

      1. The only thing #2 “quickened” was changing the channel. Horrid.

        1. Exactly. So if she claims to like both, he’ll know she’s bullshitting him.

    7. Why is it I have such a hard time finding that one other person in the world who hates that movie? I can find haters of John Carpenter almost anywhere, and there is nothing in his oeuvre that is as bad as that movie.

      1. YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, KILLAZ! GODDAMN YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL FOR SAYING THAT!

        1. It was the movie that made me realize that Sean Connery was no longer James Bond. Just another goofy old Scottish guy who mumbles to himself a lot. Highlander broke my heart. Plus, it was awful.

      2. It’s a pretty bad movie, but when you watch it when you are a teenage boy it’s the greatest thing you’ve ever seen, along with Red Dawn. So most people have memories of it. Russell Mulcahy is a terrible director.

        1. …”fond” memories of it.

        2. It was the same year that Big Trouble in Little China came out. As a teenager, you were given a choice, and so many made the wrong choice.

          1. Choice? Why not see both?

          2. Big Trouble In Little China is quite probably the greatest movie ever made. What awful trauma befell you in childhood that you do not see this?

            1. That’s exactly what I’m saying, MadSci! Exactly. You hit it on the head and out the park. People remember the crappy Highlander, and reference it frequently, while the most awesome movie ever is nearly forgotten.

              1. Then there is hope for you yet! Drink 1/2 a bottle of scotch and watch Highlander again. Let its awfulness envelope you, soothe you, and touch you intimately. Just not too intimately. That would be weird.

                1. My nephew is now yelling at me. How can you hate Highlander? Queen did the soundtrack. Queen!

                  It was late period of Queen, all the schlock without the creative juice, which btw, they used up on the Flash Gordon soundtrack.

              2. All John Carpenter movies are better than Highlander, even Escape from L.A., and I remember them much better than Highlander.

                Frylock: Shake wait. The Highlander was just a movie.

                Master Shake: No, Frylock, The Highlander was a documentary, and events happened in real time.

                1. Epi, I raise this mug to your good sense and grace.

                  1. Fuck, now I want some Celebration while watching The Thing.

                2. Even Ghost of Mars is good stuff. But being an Id fanboi, I see it as an almost baroque re-imaging of Doom.

                  My personal favorite from him is The Fog. That one got my head squirming like a methhead.

      3. Come ON, Killaz! Highlander is completely pointless and completely delightful.

        1. The vignette of his wife growing old was about as much fun to experience as dental work, and as effective at putting you under as anesthesia, too.

    8. My wife’s oldest and dearest friend is kind of a pop cultural retard. After seeing Being John Malkovich for the first time she was shocked to find out that John Malkovich was in fact a real person. She thought they just made him up for the movie. It still makes me laugh.

  32. BREAKING: Susan Rice withdraws name from running for Secretary of State: slate.me/UWl1JT

    1. About fucking time. I can’t wait to see the next idiot the other idiot nominates.

  33. with linky slate.me/UWl1JT

    1. I’m going to Moe’s.

      1. Looks like you’ve already been there.

  34. Eighteen Democratic U.S. senators and senators-elect are objecting to a new tax on medical devices that’s already killing jobs and discouraging innovation. It’s part of Obamacare, which Democrats pushed through

    Well, they had to pass it first to find out what was in it, no?

    1. umm… just saw that this exact same repsonse had already been posted. My apologies.

      1. Can’t be repeated often enough.

  35. This little girl’s parents need to be slapped around for a while.

    But before she took a sip, Sarah, a dedicated vegetarian, did what she often does and checked the label to make sure no animal products were in the drink. One ingredient, brominated vegetable oil, caught her eye.

    Its fucking fat that stays emulsified because of the bromination. So the citric acid doesn’t clump up at the bottom. Grr. Fucking ingredient police who don’t have a fucking clue piss me off. Oh, now you’re a fucking expert on brominated lipids and their health effects because you googled? Fuck, fuckity fuck.

    1. I suppose you could just not drink it. Similar policies in other areas have worked for me.

      1. You are a rational person.

    2. I saw the story. She’s not that little.

      1. I was trying to avoid any cracks about the diabeetus getting her long before halogenated hydrocarbons in trace amounts.

      2. sugar is a vegetable!

        1. Only if it’s breaded and deep fried.

    3. That chub-ette piglet is a vegetarian?

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      Also – 15 years old. Yes – let’s listen to her teach alllll the adults about teh bad ingredients.

      This is so South Park – “I think we all learned something today….”

  36. I really liked this post about living in a free country.

    http://mattforney.com/2012/12/13/we-are-free/

  37. Revoking consent after the fact:

    What did the guy whose accountin the GMP piece say? He said:

    A friend of mine once told me about a girl who he knew for a fact had only had two drinks. He didn’t know she was on prescription medication that amplified those two drinks beyond all measure. He thought she was just very horny when she wouldn’t leave him alone or take “Are you okay?” for an answer. It wasn’t until she kept calling him by the wrong name and couldn’t remember the right one that he realized she was not able to consent, and called a halt to things before they went any further. He says he had to dissuade her from pursuing things further, because she was really into it, apart from not knowing who he was or where she was.

    cont…

    1. “Can you imagine?” he tells me in horrified tones. “I was almost a rapist.”

      How do I tell him that I was in a similar position and made a different call? How do I tell him that I am what he’s terrified he almost was?
      ———————-
      The fair read of what he said about “a different call” is that he’s been in a situation where he realized that his prospective partner was so out of it that she was in no position to give meaningful consent, i.e. unable to resist his advances, and went ahead and fucked her anyway. That satisfies Lisak & Miller’s question 2.

      Even when the woman is plainly the sexual aggressor, she has no agency.

      and then look at this:

      Drunks avoid the hard decision to get sober until the consequences motivate them. We don’t shrink from throwing drunks in jail for drunk driving when they hurt people because we just can’t have them crashing into people. Well, we can’t have drunks raping people either, and if there were consequences they’d have to make tough choices. As long as we focus on how women can change their own behavior, we’re not going to do that.

      I don’t even know where to start with this. And it’s becoming a problem, as several states have gone past the “too drunk to be coherent” standard, which was fine, by the way, to wording making the level of intoxication similar to that of a DUI.

      1. The part you bolded says everything you need to know about this person. How disgusting.

    1. It’s different when they do it. The Rand Paul staffer was reich-wing rethuglican while the union guy was fighting for his very livilihood!

      1. Yup. There are many like this:

        bradybunchesofoate? Reply
        Bill, wait until your very livelihood, the workers rights that you, and all laborers that came before you, who gave their blood, sweat, and even lives for comes under attack by a clown car full of right wing nut cases, and billionaires that wouldn’t think twice about throwing a worker, and their entire family under the bus to save a few bucks. Then you might throw a punch at some idiot puppet with a microphone

        1. ^HAHAHAHAHA! This is everything I want out of a union thug reply. You can almost taste the bitter, salty tears.

          1. Check this one from their new article about it:

            cimmerian. 1 of 2 replies @Dismissed an hour ago
            Eh. Steven Crowder, the Tea Party, and their ilk like to deny and/or take away rights from people who aren’t straight, white, wealthy, and Christian. I don’t think it’s hypocrisy for Gawker to support people who are fighting for their livelihoods over people who are just out there to make trouble or make people’s lives harder.

            Also, it was pretty sleazy of Crowder to edit that video to make it look like he got punched out of nowhere. After seeing the full video, it looks suspiciously like Crowder had something to do with that man being on the ground in the first place, from the way he’s holding up his hands playing innocent.

            And no, I’m not advocating violence. Just explaining why Gawker is on the protester’s side. I don’t think it makes them hypocrites to call out Steven Crowder for being not only an asshole, but a liar.

    2. Doublethink. No need to read about it in fiction because it’s already here in real life.

  38. Wow thats a whole lotta smack there boys!

    http://www.GetzAnon.tk

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.