A.M. Links: Fiscal Cliff Deal Unlikely Before Christmas, U.S. Will Keep Troops in Afghanistan, Too Early To Fear North Korean-Triggered Armaggedon


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  1. You know what America isn’t getting for Christmas?

    Announcing no deal now means they can stop pretending and break for the holiday.

    1. I knew I shouldn’t have taken the time to use blockquotes…

      1. Block quotes are for (c)losers.

      2. Never apologize for proper formatting.

        1. He didn’t apologize, Mitt Romney.

    2. I still don’t understand why its a “debacle” and scarequotesCLIFF!!!scarequotes.

      1. I seem to recall the cliff was the height of bipartisan fiscal responsibility back when it was voted in.

        Now its a debacle?

        1. whenever one side can make the other look bad, it’s a debacle. When they look equally stupid, that is bipartisan.

      2. I still don’t understand why its a “debacle” and scarequotesCLIFF!!!scarequotes.

        That’s because you don’t work for the government or a government contractor.

      3. Well the sucky part is most people having to pay ~$1000 more in taxes in 2013.

        1. They’ll fix the tax part of it before it comes to that.

        2. They’re going to lose that much anyway, what with the debt issuance/currency debasement, which pretty much functions as a tax regardless.

          Its just a hidden tax, that falls on a different group.

          1. The spending will continue until the deficits improve.

            1. I think they actually beleive this.

          2. We’re going to get both higher taxes and inflation. Whoopie!

  2. You know what America isn’t getting for Christmas? A deal to settle the fiscal cliff debacle. Then again, the way negotiations have trended in D.C., that may not be a terrible thing

    All I want for Christmas is my two front teef (and not to be saddled in debt for the rest of my life).

    1. I prefer no deal to a shitty deal though. Aren’t automatic spending cuts supposed to set in starting in January (of course H&R-ers know somehow those won’t take place either)?

      1. Yes, “cuts”

      2. The President has to make a sequestration order to his federal minions on January 2nd. But Congress can, in february or april or whenever they decide, backdate some checks to the agencies to make the whole nasty budget cutting seem like a dream.

        A Filthy Libertarian Dream!

        1. A Filthy Libertarian Dream!

          So that’s the source of my wet bedsheets every morning…

          1. Or urinary incontinence. I know which one I’d bet on. Tip: invest in a rubber sheet, because if it ain’t gone away by now, it never will.

      3. What would be a ton of fun from a spectator’s perspective is if Congress doesn’t act and Big O uses the 14th Amendment as cover for unilateral action.

  3. John McAfee arrived in Miami…

    Bad move, America. McAfee is almost impossible to totally get rid of.

    1. Hopefully his system bloat slows down the “Justice” Department to such a crawl that we have to just scrap it and get a new one.

      Preferably one with purple LEDs.

    2. A man who represents himself has a fool for an antivirus client.

  4. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/s…..3-03-21-05

    Obama unleashes the regulatory dogs of war following election.

    1. Gee willikers, who could have possibly seen THAT coming? Besides anyone with a brain, of course.

    2. The beatings will continue until the economy improves.

    3. “Most free market president ever!” /Shriek

  5. The Commerce Clause strikes again!
    Hemingway Museum Needs USDA Zoo License for Cats

    It also continues to be home to 40 to 50 six-toed cats that are a living legacy of Hemingway. As in Hemingway’s time, the cats are allowed to roam and lounge at will in the house and on the one-acre grounds.

    That’s how the federal government became involved.

    At some point several years ago, a museum visitor expressed concern about the cats’ care. The visitor took that concern all the way to the US Department of Agriculture and, literally, made a federal case out of it.

    The visitor took that concern all the way to the US Department of Agriculture and, literally, made a federal case out of it.

    It’s pretty amazing how determined some busybodies are.

    The museum appealed. In a unanimous decision announced on Friday, the three-judge panel agreed that the USDA does, in fact, have the necessary authority to regulate the Hemingway cats.

    The question, the court said, was whether the Hemingway cats “substantially affect” interstate commerce.

    The judges said they do. . . .

    1. (Cont’d) More details:

      The District Court found that the Hemingway cats are “distributed” when the museum uses their images online and in promotional materials, but the 11th Circuit found that “distribution” did not just refer to advertising.

      “The museum ‘distributes’ the cats in a manner affecting commerce every time it exhibits them to the public for compensation,” Dubina wrote.

      “The museum argues that its activities are of a purely local nature because the Hemingway cats spend their entire lives at the museum – the cats are never purchased, never sold, and never travel beyond 907 Whitehead Street,” he added. “But the local character of an activity does not necessarily exempt it from federal regulation. And it is well-settled that, when local businesses solicit out-of-state tourists, they engage in activity affecting interstate commerce.”

      Is there anything the wonderful commerce clause can’t do? It’s ironic that the SC settled for a less direct penaltax, after finding the commerce clause too frightening, but not inapplicable, when they seriously considered it

      1. (Cont’d) .. and this really pisses me off:

        The decision states later: “Notwithstanding our holding, we appreciate the museum’s somewhat unique situation, and we sympathize with its frustration. Nevertheless, it is not the court’s role to evaluate the wisdom of federal regulations implemented according to the powers constitutionally vested in Congress.”

        The Instrumentalities of Interstate Commerce allows them to get you even when the articles targeted or under consideration themselves do not move interstate.

        The instrumentalities interpretation is used everywhere for any local activity, the WoD, obscenity, in escalating that Amish hair cutting fued case to hate crime status, and just about any non-interstate thing you can think of.

        In their minds, any out of state item that is involved with the articles is good enough justification. But that is literally everything. That’s why the Interstate Commerce Clause should more properly be called the Commerce Clause. Actually, the proper name should also drop the “Commerce” part since that itself is not directly required …

        1. I lived in Key West for a long time, and went to HH a buch. I really never remember anywhere near close to 40 or 50 polydactyl cats there. I mean at any given time there were around 40 cats that lived there, but only a little more than half of them were polydactyl.

          Also he was wrong and his wife was right about the swimming pool.

      2. Is there anything the wonderful commerce clause can’t do?

        *Surely* some clever legal beagle can find a way to make it ban itself.

        1. Since the Constitution was written by people from several states and therefore its interstate commerce, this means that the Interstate Commerce Clause has power over the entire Constitution.

          One Clause to rule them all, One Clause to find them, One Clause to bring them all and in the darkness bind them In the Land of Washington where the Shadows lie.

          1. if only the clause was named santa

          2. As Mike Church says, DC is “Mordor on the Potomac”

            1. So what’s Barad-dur? The Washington Monument or the Capitol Dome?

    2. How can the visitor bring a court case when he/she isn’t directly affected?

      1. He’s got plenty of ‘standing’ if there’s a chance to expand federal power.

        Shorter: FYTW

      2. She probably reported them to the USDA and when the USDA tried to enforce their rules this litigation was the result.

        1. Also what WG said.

      3. I bet you a six-toed cat it was some nutbar from PETA.

        1. But they’d probably want them euthanized, right, which I assumed USDA is not so into.

          1. Do you have any idea how many native birds those cats kill?

          2. A disappointing cheap shot, Nicole. Yes, PeTA has euthanized some animals. Old, sick animals.

            And some people here, including (I believe) Hinkle, have siezed on that and dishonestly trumpeted “PeTA Kills Animals”. Technically true, but so do all veterinarians, and many caring pet owners who wish to save their beloved animal companions from needless suffering.

    3. “Feds to regulate Hemingway cats”

      And my mind just imploded

      1. Wait until they open up a museum dedicated to Erwin Schr?dinger.

        1. Wondering if the cats are dead or alive should keep people occupied long enough for it to enjoy a good run.

          1. Yes, they are.

    4. The museum appealed. In a unanimous decision announced on Friday, the three-judge panel agreed that the USDA does, in fact, have the necessary authority to regulate the Hemingway cats.

      Oops… all the cats “mysteriously disappeared”. Problem solved.

      Sorry Warty, but Fuck cats, and fuck Hemingway.

      1. I have a cat named after Hemingway, not because I like Hemingway, but because my cat is a mutant with 13 toes. Do not threaten my Ernest or I will unmake you.

        1. I have a polydactyl cat with 25. 7 on each front foot and 5 and 6 on the back.

        2. The Gods forbid unmaking.

      2. You seem to have some issues. I suggest visiting a cat cafe for therapy:



    5. How does the federal government have jurisdiction? The Conch Republic seceded many years ago.

  6. Julian Assange says that people’s willing embrace of social media creates a “turnkey totalitarian state”…

    Says the man famous for disseminating data. You jive turnkeys.

  7. Going Out with a Bang ? Firework Funerals for Pets

    Scattering a loved one’s ashes in water is apparently a thing of the past. At least, as far as pets in Sydney are concerned. Ashes to Ashes, a service run by trained circus performer and pyrotechnician Craig Hull, allows people to part with their pet’s ashes with a bang ? sending them up in the air as fireworks, descending onto the waters of Sydney Harbor as their final resting place.

    1. Good lord. Why don’t they just eat their dead pets like normal people.

    2. Australians need to harden the fuck up. This so needs an American version.

  8. Someone get Buscemi and Willis on the phone!

    And ask them if they know how to get in touch with Kurt Russell.

    Man, is there anything Hollywood ever gets wrong?

    Other than not making a sequel to Broken Arrow. Which is a shame. A damn shame.

    1. Other than not making a sequel to Broken Arrow.

      You mean the original wasn’t bad enough?

      1. SugarFree strikes again! Mwaaahahahahahaha!

        1. I hope you learned your lesson, Ted.

          Don’t mess with a cinematic masterpiece.

  9. Public Must Face True Cost Of Unreliable Renewables

    Most other states are less aggressive, but the aim is the same ? a “greener” energy mix, a new (if modest) source of jobs and more freedom from fossil fuels.

    And, yes, there’s a price tag, and it could be huge.

    California’s Public Utilities Commission estimated in 2009 that the 33% RPS rule (finally adopted in 2011) would require an investment of about $115 billion, or some $3,000 for every Californian.

    1. more freedom from fossil fuels
      there’s a price tag, and it could be huge.

      See. freedom isn’t free.

    2. Cut the transmission lines from neighboring states.

  10. It’s better than watching Amazing Race.

    Is there any statement that could precede this sentence to make it untrue?

    1. Top Chef.

    2. “Listening to an Obama speech:”

      1. Sorry Way Of The Crane, WG just proved your statement to be untrue

    3. I can think of a lot of “reality” shows that are much, much worse.

    4. Amazing Race.

  11. Humans may have started making cheese 7,500 years ago.

    And exactly how did they wrap the slices? Cellophane wasn’t invented until 6,000 years ago.

    1. They used wax, the heathens.

      1. Wrong, they put it in cans and Cheese Whiz was invented.

        1. OK, but when was the Philly cheesesteak invented?

          1. When people domesticated horses?

          2. About 3300 years ago by the Philistines, duh.

          3. 7501 years ago.

            1. I think it was on a tuesday.

              1. No, that’s when they were going to pay for it.

    2. Paleotyric cheese was like Velveeta or Cheez Whiz, as demonstrated by each of those having only the vaguest abstract connection to real cheese.

      Mesotyric cheese was more advanced, but still of an obscure form. This was when brie and other soft cheeses were invented.

      The Neotyric era saw the advent of much harder, though crumbly cheeses, like blue cheese, to be followed by the Mozzarella Age, the Gouda Age, and the Cheddar Age.

      1. Life was best in the Baby Swiss Period!

        1. A very significant time, when the Swiss introduced holes to cheese.

  12. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/s…..3-03-21-05

    MSNBC starting to realize perhaps his majesty might not have the leverage liberals think he does.

    1. Boehner is waiting until he is reelected Speaker before he negotiates in good faith.

      1. It doesn’t matter. Obama is not negotiating in good faith. Obama never made a successful negotiation in his life. The only think he knows is how to be a political thug and demand his way. He will fail here too because that is what he does.

        1. He will fail here too because that is what he does.

          And by fail you mean screw the American people, right?

        2. It doesn’t matter if he fails, he doesn’t have to run in elections anymore.

          1. That’s not going to stop him from campaigning though.

    2. This is much more interesting.

  13. New Army Manual Orders Soldiers Not To Criticize Taliban

    The soon-to-be-released Army handbook is still being drafted, but a mainstream newspaper got a sneak preview and published an article that should infuriate the American taxpayers funding the never-ending war on terror. The manual is being created because someone with authority bought the theory that cultural insensitivity is driving insider attacks on U.S. troops in Afghanistan.

    More than three dozen insider attacks have killed 63 members of the U.S.-led coalition this year, according to the article, and some blame “American cultural ignorance.” The bottom line is that troops may experience social-cultural shock and/or discomfort when interacting with Afghan security forces, the new military handbook says. “Better situational awareness/understanding of Afghan culture will help better prepare [troops] to more effectively partner and to avoid cultural conflict that can lead toward green-on-blue violence.”

    1. But we cam still bomb them or anyone looking like them from 20,000 feet with drones right?

      1. bombs and drones may break their bones,
        but words can never…whatever

    2. New Army Manual Orders Soldiers Not To Criticize Taliban

      Because their not bad, they’re just different. Don’t you just love relativism?

      1. Don’t you just love relativism?

        No, No I don’t.

      2. Don’t you just love relativism?

        I may or may not, depending on what I’m comparing it to.

    3. [avoid] “making derogatory comments about the Taliban,” “advocating women’s rights,” “any criticism of pedophilia,” “directing any criticism towards Afghans,” “mentioning homosexuality and homosexual conduct” or “anything related to Islam.”

      “Any criticism of pedophilia”?

      Even using PIG LATIN?

      1. Ixnay on the Uslimsmay.

      2. So the Army supports Jerry Sandusky and Roman Polanski?

        1. Not supports. Just doesn’t criticize them, or mention them in polite company.

        2. Not yet, that’s in the next revise.

          1. It is still in draft form…

      3. hearts and minds

    4. We WW2 soliders told not to criticize Nazis?

      Have they forgotten exactly who we are at “war” with? I guess since we didnt declare it, it isnt clear.

  14. Sean Penn: ‘As I look back over my life in romance, I don’t feel that I have ever been loved’

    Maybe it’s because you’re a total douche? Ya think?

    1. Sean Penn: ‘As I look back over my life in romance, I don’t feel that I have ever been loved’

      What about Fidel and Hugo? Don’t they count?

      1. What happens in Havana stays in Havana.

    2. He is a douche lord!

    3. And yet he ruined Robin Wright for everyone. Fucker.

      1. And failed to stay with Madonna…

        Double Fucker!!

  15. Freshly Minted
    How mint became the default flavor of dental hygiene.

    But it wasn’t accessibility alone that made peppermint the most popular Lifesaver flavor for years and, over time, the preferred flavor for dental hygiene products. It’s the sensation, more than the scent or the taste, that causes us to associate mint with clean mouths. Mint makes the mouth feel cold.

    That “fresh” sensation is a thermal illusion: the actual temperature of your mouth doesn’t change. Mouths contain particular cells that that activate in the presence of hot or cold: the condition of extreme temperature “turns on” the cell, which then sends a message to the brain that the mouth is rather hot or rather cold. But menthol also “turns on” these cells, which send their message to the brain as directed, and we experience a coolness in the mouth that isn’t there. By itself, mint doesn’t make the mouth a less suitable environment for germs; it’s the abrasives in toothpastes or the alcohols in mouthwashes that do the dirty work. But it’s easy to see how minty freshness became associated with cleanliness: the illusory change of temperature and the sharp, distinctive taste remind us more of cleaning agents than candy.

    1. All I know is that I hate going to the dentist for no other reason than the use of mint-flavored products in cleaning my teeth. I despise mint (unless they are of the Thin Girl Scout cookie variety), and the day they discontinue the “citrus” toothpaste I use is the day I stop brushing my teeth.

    2. Fun fact:

      If you bite down hard on a Wintergreen Lifesaver in the dark, it produces sparks of light.

      Also, if you take a camera flash and a few people into a dark room or closet and then set off the flash, the frozen image is retained in your brain for a few seconds, so if someone moves as you reach out to touch them, your hand will seem to be reaching through a ghost.

  16. Kate Moss trips and falls.
    I believe she was sober.

    1. Stilettos and cobblestone is a really bad combination.

    2. You try walking in heels like that. I bet he guy wearing the girl’s coat who caught her knows how difficult it is.

      1. I bet he guy wearing the girl’s coat who caught her knows how difficult it is.

        A rock star who is banging a supermodel can wear whatever kind of coat he likes.

        1. Seriously. Especially if the supermodel is Kate Moss.

        2. Beard is a slang term describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner (boyfriend or girlfriend), or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one’s sexual orientation.


        3. Tucking your skinny jeans into engineer’s boots? Not okay. Ever. No matter who you’re fucking. Unless its Elton John or Liberace.

  17. Romney wins Lie of the Year for Obama’s Jeep to China whopper.


    1. Only because you aren’t in the running for the award, fuckbag.

      1. Letting Shriek into that competition would be like pitting Barry Bonds against a bunch of preschoolers.

    2. I saw some jackass on tv the other day saying the ad was “factually true, but still a lie”. What bullshit.

      1. That’s like a waiter claiming a 4 oz veal cutlet is, “small, but generous.”

    3. The biggest Lie of the Year was, by far, Obama’s “balanced approach” commercial.

      1. I liked his “we’re going to ask the rich to pay a little more” lie above any of the others.

        The “Bengazi was a demonstration against a film” lie was also particularly notable.

    4. No, that goes to Politifacts for claiming to be fact checkers.

  18. A convicted murderer obsessed with Justin Bieber recruited a former inmate to try to castrate and kill the pop star.


    1. Martin, who remains behind bars, had become obsessed with the 18-year-old singer and has a tattoo in the boy’s image on his leg.

      I bet that ink makes him look real tough in the prison yard.

    2. That’s okay, at least the idea is out there, I’m sure someone will pick it up.

  19. So Mick Jagger told the crowd at the 12-12 concert last night “If it rains in London you have got to come help us” and people are having a fit about it being “insensitive”. WTF is wrong with people? I thought it was a pretty witty line.

    1. They’re New Yorkers. New York City types are by definition arrogant self-centered assholes.

      1. Don;t forget humorless…unless of course it’s them talking about the rest of the country.

        1. Hahahhaa! Everyone in L.A. is a phony, with silicon body parts, and eating sushi! People in Ohio are fat and they like football! I like the South, well Miami, but the rest is for hillbillies and the Blacks.

          /New York doucher

          1. They really are assholes. And it is the outer boroughs that seem to be the worst. I have been to Manhattan multiple times and found the people to be not much unfriendlier than anywhere else. Finally last week, I went to Brooklyn to see the Stones concert at the Barclay Center. I would say at least half of the people I interacted with were complete fucking douchebag assholes that frankly needed punched in the face. There were a few very nice people and they were inevitably shocked by the fact that I was polite and nice to them. It was like they couldn’t believe anyone could be anything but an asshole.

          2. Says the guy from LBC. “New Yorkers are assholes who make generalizations about people from other cities”. Which is apparently a terrible thing, unless it is about New Yorkers.

            1. Zeb,

              There are lots of very nice people in New York. But there really does seem to be a high concentration of assholes there, especially in Brooklyn, if my experience is in any way representative.

              1. Oh yeah, sure. Especially in Brooklyn. I just enjoyed the humor of EDG criticizing a group of people for doing exactly what he was doing in his criticism.

                1. Definately not limited to Brooklyn. I went to a concert in Newark a few weeks ago, on the same tour as a stop in Philly. The fucking Philly crowd was far more civilized. Think on that for a moment.

                  1. They were just resting up in Philly.

                    Santa season is almost here, you know.

                  2. Philly is a tough town. But it knows it and doesn’t try to show it. People in Philly don’t go out of their way to announce how tough they are. And they are generally pretty reasonable as long as you are reasonable to them. I have been the Flyers games, talk about uncivilized. But as long you don’t show up in a Sidney Crosby Jersey and start talking shit, no one bothers you and everyone is pretty friendly. It seems like New Yorkers have to announce to the world that they are tough because they are from New York. Sometimes they are I suppose. But a lot of times they are just fucking douchebags who need a good ass kicking.

    2. People suck. When a disasters strike the MEMEME instinct takes over regardless of circumstances. How dare anyonw make light of our situation! People are cold!!!…ok, not that cold…and hungry!!!…ok, maybe they needed to lose a few punds…and ZOMG NO CABLE TV!!!

      As bad as the experience has been for a lot of people in NJ and Staten Island, there are literally millions of people in other places on the globe that would trade places instantly.

      Fuck you if you can’t take a joke.

  20. Katy Perry is hooked up with John Mayer.
    That confirms it. She has no brain.

    1. And marrying Russel Brand didn’t already do that?

      1. That was the first sign. This is full confirmation.

        1. That is one hell of a sign.

          1. Why do these women still flock to Mayer? Does each one thing think that they can be the one and not just a pair of panties that he nails on his conquest wall?

    2. Didn’t this confirm it?


    3. Katy Perry is hooked up with John Mayer.
      That confirms it. She has no brain.

      I have a lot more respect for John Mayer since his Playboy article, and especially the flack he took for it (given, he didn’t stick to his guns as much as I would have liked, what with ending his Twitter account because of the press he was getting). His music is meh, but I also respect him for being able to make fun of himself (see: skit with Dave Chappelle).

      1. The Chappelle skit was fucking hilarious. But anything Dave Chappelle does is hilarious, so…Mayer just had to show up! Which he did. So props.

        1. Yeah, he’s one of those things where I actually can’t stand him or any music he does, but I’m glad he exists.

          Like a gayer, less violent Varg Vikernes.

      2. His music is nothing special, but he is a pretty talented guitar player.

    4. John Mayer is a libertarian.

  21. For federal workers, the grass isn’t greener in the private sector

    o what can applying this job-switching test to the SIPP data tell us about public employee pay? Keep in mind that the Federal Salary Council’s numbers imply that in taking a job outside government, the average federal employee would receive a staggering 54 percent increase in salary. In the real world, though, the data show that most federal workers looking to cash in by leaving will end up disappointed.

    According to the SIPP data, the average federal worker shifting to a private job actually accepts a small salary reduction of around 3 percent. Similarly, private sector workers who move to federal jobs don’t take a pay cut. They get a first-year raise averaging 9 percent, well above the raise other workers get when they switch jobs within the private sector.

  22. Dudes push their buddy off a boat in front of a shark.
    Who is more of a dumbass, them for what they did or him for continuing to call them friends?

    1. Him for continuing to call them friends. The first can be explained by the fact that their just garden variety sociopathic assholes. Not ditching them makes the dude an outstanding dumbass.

      1. *they’re

        1. Give us an edit button!

    2. He’s probably more like their punching bag than a buddy.

      1. That would explain his brain damage.

    3. The shark in question is reportedly a basking shark – a gentle plankton eater that is not dangerous to humans.

  23. A group of eleven GOP governors wants too have a little sit-down chat with President Obama about this health-care plan of his. We know how we’d like it to go; it’s not going to go that way.

    Tucille, you are better than this. -((( I blame the skinny jeans.

    Also, predicted response from His Pestilency: “I won. Fuck you, that’s why!”

    1. I read this as “elven GOP governors”.

      Made me start thinking of the Tolkien races and which ones are most libertarian.

      I think hobbits would be the libertarian race. They generally seem to have no government and their numbers are few. They keep to themselves and like to throw good party.

      Any thoughts?

      1. Wait, so what would that make Warty? Dwarven? Entish?!! Some hideous cross of both?

        1. Warty is Tom Bombadill, duh!

          1. but with corpses in the basement.

      2. Except hobbits have that whole “judgemental nosy neighbor” thing going, so they’d probably be more Buchananite. Libtertarian in terms of national and international thing, but annoying socialcons at the local and state level.

  24. Lots of Bar Refaeli pics.
    I’ll be in my bunk.

    1. She is quite fetching.

  25. …and using them to blow stuff up on-purpose, is still years away.

    Maybe Kim has been secretly managing expectations in the world intelligence community. We’re being prayed!

  26. a new Project Communique song called “Window Star”

    this is a little more cinematic than my usual fare – perhaps a good soundtrack for sneaky aliens?

  27. A group of eleven GOP governors wants too have a little sit-down chat with President Obama…

    What’s in it for the White House?

    1. A chance to smirk and berate some of the enemy.

  28. Humans may have started making cheese 7,500 years ago.

    More nonsense from leftists in academia.

    1. Fumunda cheese.

        1. It’s “FRUMunda” and it’s by balls.

        2. Fumunda the cow, everyone knows that is where the milk comes from!

          1. Does Fumunda cheese have an AOC designation?

    2. Humans may have started making cheese 7,500 years ago.

      So yeast infections have only been around for 7500 years? (Enjoy breakfast everyone!)

      1. I have no problem with yeast. It gives us beer. For that, all can be forgiven.

  29. the way negotiations have trended in D.C., that may not be a terrible thing.

    This gave me one of those “Somebody just pissed on my grave” sensations.

    It reminded me of my favorite Congressional compromise, when Congress and the Senate were engaged in an epic battle to reconcile the limit on federal deposit insurance limits. They couldn’t decide whether it should be $25,000 or $40,000; they did the sensible bipartisan thing, and made it $100,000.

    What we’ll get when the titans’ mighty struggle has played out?
    More taxes, more spending, less accountability.

  30. limits

    1. Edit button!

  31. http://www.washingtoncitypaper…..a-heights/

    Moran and his girlfriend were fighting outside 14th Street bar The Getaway around 1:23 a.m. on Dec. 1, according to a police report, over Moran talking to another woman at the bar. Suddenly, Moran allegedly slammed his girlfriend’s head into the bar’s metal trash can cage.

    After the attack, police described Moran’s girlfriend as “bleeding heavily from her nose and also observed that her nose and right eye were extremely swollen.” One of the ambulance technicians who transported her to Howard University Hospital told police that Moran appeared to have broken her nose and given her a skull fracture under her right eye.

    Probation for a skull fracture? If I were his girlfriend’s father or brother, I think probation would be the least of his problems. What a fucking scumbag.

    1. Jezebel’s clock is at least right once or twice a week:

      “Jim Moran is a wife-smacking, bribe-taking, black child-shaking anti-Semite that has earned the protection of the local Democratic party.”

      Apple, trees and all that, I guess.

      1. That clock must be of the biological and ticking variety.

      2. It kind of kills me that the girlfriend is traipsing merrily down the “He didn’t hit me, I FELL and hit my face!” path.

        1. Yeah. Classic abuse victim. That is really sad. I am sorry, absent self defense, you fracture someone’s skull, you need to do some time. Probation my ass.

          1. She also might just be cutting her losses. Congresskids are a law until themselves in DC, and most people understand that upfront when dating them. Knowing she’ll see no justice, she takes some bloodmoney and counts herself lucky she didn’t drown in a car.

            1. Yeah that’s my operating assumption here.

              1. When I want your operating assumption, I’ll beat it out of you.

            2. Yeah. I think Al Gore’s kid was caught doing close to a hundred down M Street in Georgetown while drunk. The media or the police never did a thing about it. But the Bush twins using a fake ID to have a beer was a national scandal.

        2. Hell’s Librarian, we have evidence in this very thread that even a supermodel, professionally trained to wear stilettos, can fall down because of a bumpy sidewalk–and she was probably even sober! I’m sure Moran was simply comforting the girlfriend just like Jamie Hince did Kate Moss.

          1. Yes, nothing says, “I love and cherish you, honey,” like being brained and bludgeoned via trash can cage.

    2. Rep. Moran says his son’s incident was an accident, and Patrick Moran’s girlfriend blames her injuries on a broken high heel.

      From the police report:

      MPD Sgt. Paul, S from the Fifth District Vice unit along with ABRA investigator Stewart, Craig observed a white male,later found to be known as D-1 (Moran) grab a white female by the back of her head with his hand and slam her head into the metal trash can cage in front of the nightclub “The Getaway”.

      Obviously those witnesses are not credible and must be lying.

      1. But… they’re cops… Their word is not to be questioned! Unless it’s against a powerful person’s kid, I guess?

  32. This sounds like a reasonable response when a drunk driver kills two kids.

    Investigators are searching for answers after a suspected drunken driver was found shot dead after he allegedly slammed into a family’s truck on a rural Houston-area road, killing two young brothers.

    12-year-old David Barajas and his 11-year-old brother, Caleb, were helping their father push his disabled truck down the road when 21-year-old Jose Banda allegedly slammed into them from behind, MyFoxHouston.com reports.

    1. I hope the investigators don’t search too hard.

      1. Doesn’t sound like they’re gonna. They haven’t talked to the father, who was also pushing the car and sustained minor injuries? Assuming the dead guy’s tox screen came back with high BAC, I think they’ll just let this one go and count it as saving the taxpayers a pile of money.

    2. If the father did shoot him, I do not think I could find him guilty.

      1. Not guilty by reason of temporary and entirely understandable insanity.

      2. I could. Vigilantism can wait until after the courts have failed to do their job.

    3. Yes. Definately reasonable and appropriate.

    4. I love the “allegedly”. Unless it was a hit and run, don’t we pretty much know for sure?

      1. Maybe it was from the front.

    1. We definitely need more hot chicks protesting naked.

    2. Doc, can’t you pull some strings and get Femen to start up in the States?

      1. Just send them to this site and tell them reason is headquartered at my house.

  33. OT: so I’ve hit a snag in my novel – the main character has to quickly destroy a bridge so others can escape. How should he cut the thick cable of a suspension bridge? I don’t think your average dynamite explosion would do the trick. Perhaps a homemade ‘shaped charge’, but what common everyday object could be used for such a device? Post-apocalyptic setting, so no fancy devices.

    1. The cable is going to anchored. You don’t have to blow the cable, just the huge bolts that hold it anchored. That could be done with a shaped charge

        1. Instead of a shaped charge, use a few sticks of dynamite and tamp it with whatever is lying around. Dead bodies perhaps?

          1. You need something that will reflect the energy of the blast, not absorb it. John bag of concrete is a better choice than bodies, although trying to sheer the bolts off would be harder than sheering the cable, it seems. Wouldn’t the cable be under tension, and more prone to sheering if damaged?

          2. it’s a large bridge… the cable and anchor will be huge. So I would think it would take a large load of dynamite + tamping to cut through a few inches of steel.

            I was thinking shaped charge as in anti-tank weapon like a Panzerfaust.

            1. Maybe it was built with green materials under the Stimulus and it just fails spontaneously…

            2. Without plastic explosives, a shaped charge is difficult to construct.

              If you go the thermite route, some models of performance bicycles are made with magnesium frames.

              Also, think about why the bridge needs to come down. Would blasting out the roadway suffice? What about just mining some abandoned vehicles to make it impassable?

              1. Maybe a big “BRIDGE CLOSED” sign?

              2. If dynamite is available, why not an ANFO bomb? You could find materials enough to make a pretty big one of those at any country store.

                1. I’m just asking for trouble searching on this stuff.

                  1. I’m just asking for trouble searching on this stuff.

                    No shit. I suspect the commenting on H&R is going to get pretty light over the next couple of days.

                2. Smash a full fuel tanker near the suspension part, light it, and let it WTC it to the ground.

                  1. hmmm… fire is easiest and most dramatic solution.

                    1. If you have access to that size of a truck, ram the suspension cables with a charge attached to the front bumper backed by a stack of manhole covers. You’ve got the entire inertia of the truck to hold the blast in place.

                    2. Explosives and Demolitions Field Manual

                      With some added words to placate the vengeful and capricious spam filter.

                    3. I know right? Is there anything it cant’ do?

            3. “it’s a large bridge”

              Make it smaller.

              1. location location location!

            4. A small amount of dynamite/AMFO, that blows the valve off an old (but still full) oxyacetylene tank and ignites the gas shooting out. That should cut through pretty much anything.

              1. A shape charge is still executable with dynamite, but it needs to be bigger and ignited correctly.

                Dynamite doesn’t have the velocity of C-4, making it less effective for metal cutting, so attacking the anchor would probably be a better strategy.

                Also, high heat burning as discussed below would be pretty effective. Heat and then adding dynamite… even better.

              2. Just make passing the bridge illegal. We know that once things are illegal, like drugs and prostitution, they go away because people stop using them.

    2. Termite, which you can make with some fairly non-esoteric materials.


      This is the same basic instructions I remember from a militaty issue improvised demolitions manual.

      1. *thermite* Unless the cable is wooden, of course.

        1. dang you and your quick fingers!

        2. You were in the Militaty?

          1. Yes and they were some of the best years of my life. That’s where I learned to type.

            1. I’m pondering what SFing rifle quals would look like.

              1. Rifle quals would go well, I think. I was always a good shot. The obstacle course would be slow-motion Benny Hill, though, with the added bonus of constant vomiting.

          2. They are just inked up a lot more than anyone in DoD.

      2. Uh, termites eat wood, not metal.

        1. Postapocalyptic setting. These are zombie termites.

    3. How should he cut the thick cable of a suspension bridge?

      I’ll bet Big Sis has an idea or two.

    4. Just have the Mothman do it.

    1. Ben Gazzara? I loved him in “Bloodlines” and “Roadhouse”. Isn’t he Tango Uniform?

    2. Interesting fact: Jason Chaffetz’s mom is Kitty Dukakis.

  34. There are people in this world that do not deserve to be.

    A Texas man marked 12-12-12 by carving a pentagram into the back of his 6-year-old son, telling police that he did it because “it’s a holy day,” authorities said.

    Police tell MyFoxAustin.com that Richmond Hills resident Brent Troy Bartel called 911 just after midnight Wednesday and told a dispatcher he “shed some innocent blood.” When asked to clarify, he reportedly said, “I inscribed a pentagram on my son.”

    1. It could have been worse, he could have cut off the end of the kids dick because god told him too.

      1. HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!!1111111

  35. Tamp it. Dynamite by itself would just spread the energy outwards. But if it had something like a bag of cement on top of it, the energy would be contained enough to do some destruction.

    1. *in response to LH@9:14*

      1. yeah, that was my thinking of just a dynamite charge. By itself, it wouldn’t do enough damage to the cable/anchoring.

  36. OK, I like the idea of eliminating kickoffs for the NFL in favor of possession at the 30-yd line (and 4th and 15) for the scoring/coin flip team.


    Kickoffs are a waste of time now. And you can still get a runback on the punt return (if chosen).

  37. Cool historical pics of NYC.

    SFW, but features some crime scene photos with dead people.

    1. NYC isn’t too friendly about letting you access them for free. Hard to navigate, ‘imited preview and low resolution.

  38. Humans may have started making cheese 7,500 years ago.

    Humans starting making cutting the cheese jokes 7499 years and 364 days ago.

    1. UR: Stop me if you hear this one before. A camembert and a triceratops-

      NOG: Stop.

  39. Eliminate NFL kickoffs and replace with 4th and 15 for the scoring team?

    I like it.


    1. If you didn’t think PB was dumb before, this is all the evidence you need.

      1. It’s nonsense. What they really should do is change it up entirely. Instead of kicking the ball to the other team, the kickoff should be changed into a soccer minigame without a soccer ball.

        The kicker passes to someone else and they drive down the field. No hands touching the ball. If they can kick it between the uprights, 3 points. If they commit a penalty or kick the ball out of bounds, the other team gets the ball and football resumes.

        Also, the receiving team can use its hands and advance the ball if they can retrieve it in bounds. Once they get the ball, it’s regular football again.

        1. The only problem with that is some of the crowd might hurt themselves after they fall asleep.

          1. I don’t know, the crowds at NASCAR don’t seem to get injured too often.

            1. That is only because the cars produce so much racket as to make sleep impossible.

              1. Not if you drink enough beer.

                1. I can never drink enough beer.

          2. Here’s where you’re wrong. First, it’s only going to last a minute or two at worst, because they’re kicking an irregular ball.

            Second, the way things are going, kickoffs will be even duller affairs.

            Finally, it gets football back to its roots. I’m also planning to ban the forward pass, which was a product of the feminization of the sport.

            1. Bring back the Flying Wedge, you pussies!

      2. He is a big fan of sarcastaball.

        1. Good point. Why don’t we replace the football with a balloon? Replace tackling with hugging? And drink each other’s semen?

    2. But the team can then choose to punt…how does this reduce the number of ‘large men travelling at high speed’ heading for a vertebrate/skull crushing collision?

      1. It doesn’t. Punts can be brutal. Another stupid idea from the no fun league. But they don’t give a shit. It is not like anyone who watches their product cares about the quality. There are no football fans left or damn few of them anyway. Now everyone is a fantasy or gambling degenerate.

        1. Kickoffs are not worth watching since they moved them up to reduce runbacks. Then it is sandwiched around TV timeouts.

          I watch the other game for four minutes and miss nothing.

        2. I am close to not watching anymore.

          Take the Detroit game on Thanksgiving.

          In a game that has nothing to do with throwing red flags, Detroit arguably lost because a red flag was tossed on to the field. It sounds fucking stupid because it is.

          1. It’s a dying sport. Once they decided to eliminate defense from the game, it became meaningless.

            1. Helmets ruined the sport, don’t you think?

              1. I blame Bush

              2. You know, that’s a great idea for the alternative league they keep trying to form without success. Old School Football.

                Uniforms and equipment that at least look like the old stuff, no replays, no forward pass, drop kicks, the works.

                1. Or rugby. None of that play for 8 seconds and stand around for 40 stuff. No blocking, two way play, no forward pass. Lots of non-stop hard work.

            2. It doesn’t seem to be dying given the amount of attention devoted to it.

              1. That’s metafootball–talking about it, fantasy leagues, etc. Besides, it’s only beginning to die.

                I’m starting to like the Old School Football idea. I figure the rules in place around 1905–just prior to the introduction of the forward pass.

                You could make them look like the old school guys, with leather-looking helmets and the like, while actually using advanced materials to keep permanent injuries to a minimum (litigation being what it is today, a truly manly sport isn’t feasible).

                1. Waivers won’t handle the litigation?

                    1. I’m surprised. They could still sue?

                    2. Anyone can sue, and, once you’re in court, you’re at the mercy of the judge. There are all sorts of limits of what you can waive contractually. And there are always angles for finding liability.

                      Note that there’s a lawsuit right now over concussions in the NFL.

                    3. Yeah, but I thought that was because the NFL actively hid the dangers…

                      So, as in a ton of problems, reforming lawsuits would solve this problem.

                2. They already do that with baseball Pro. There are leagues of geeks who play it without gloves by the rules circa 1880s.

                  1. Unless they’re tackling each other, manliness and baseball are impossible. And I like baseball.

                    1. What if they replace the balls with grenades?

                    2. That would be an improvement in manliness, true.

                3. I wonder, could the league eliminate high tackles and require proper tackling technique – low at the waist and wrap the legs?

                  1. If I were commissioner I would do the following

                    1. Go back to the old pass defense rules allowing contact after five yards. This would give defenses a way to defend besides rushing 10 guys or forcing turnovers.

                    2. Eliminate substitutions except in the case of change of possession. Make teams put their base defense and offense on the field and play. IF someone comes out, they can’t go back in until the next change of possession. This would eliminate fat guys who are only in good enough condition to play a dozen plays a game.

                    1. Can you call a timeout to make a substitution?

                    2. Good question AD. I think so, yeah. You only get three timeouts a half. So I don’t think that would mess the game up.

                    3. The old rules didn’t allow for substitutions, I believe.

                    4. If I were commissioner I would do the following

                      I’d add on, “Contract by two teams” (Jacksonville and Cleveland would be two prime candidates, as the former doesn’t have any fans, and the latter can’t seem to win anything outside of one fluke season), increase the number of players on a team by 5 to appease the player’s union, and put in weight limits–no more 350-375 pound slugs landing on top of 210 pound running backs and QBs.

                      Honestly, though, I doubt bringing back the old pass defense rules would have as much of an impact on the passing game as the league fears. Sure, the Madden-style vidya game numbers would go down, but if guys like Norm Van Brocklin and Johnny Unitas can put up the numbers they did in the 1950s, then I think Peyton Manning and Drew Brees can adjust.

                      The league seems to be migrating towards the read-option type of quick-passing offenses anyway, because those are the kinds of quarterbacks being produced in college.

                    5. “Contract by two teams” (Jacksonville and Cleveland would be two prime candidates

                      Don’t tell Warty that. Also, why do teams like Buffalo, Oakland, Tampa, St. Louis, and Arizona get to survive?

                    6. I should have included San Diego too.

                    7. I don’t have a problem with any of the others going. I picked those two because Jacksonville can’t pay people to go see their games, and Cleveland’s been in Expansion Team Hell since being reinstated, and will likely stay there because no one with talent wants to play in Cleveland.

                  2. That’s what football needs: less defense.

                    1. Addressed to Rasilio pushing for more restrictions on tackling.

                    2. I can’t stand the trend away from defense that the league is pushing. The game is defined more by defense that offense, after all. If there’s no defense, then it’s just a score with each possession.

                    3. I’m a Patriots fan, and I still want more defense in the league.

                    4. I agree, starting with the Patriots.

        3. Was it the Mayans who had this ball game where the losing team was beheaded and the heads entombed in the stadium itself. That was real old timey mansport…

            1. I think the Mayans did it first. Could be wrong.

            2. Actually, in some Mayan arenas it was the winners who were supposedly sacrificed. Which, I imagine, led to a lot of 0-0 ties (and probably to the modern game of soccer.)

        4. Let’s just go with rugby. It’s a better game anyway.

          1. Rugby sucks. IT is one guy running with the ball, five guys chasing him and twenty guys standing around with their thumbs up their ass watching him.

            1. Sounds like a highway road crew.

            2. So, it’s the same as football but actually has participants playing?

              1. That is just it. In Rugby, outside of the scrum, most participants don’t play. The lack of blocking or a forward pass means most of the players are standing around doing nothing most of the time. The idea that Rugby is constant action is a bullshit myth.

                1. You’ve never seen a game, have you?

                  1. Seen it and played it. And like Soccer, there is less constant motion than is claimed. Most of the time you are jogging along watching someone else carry the ball.

                    1. “Most of the time you are jogging along watching someone else carry the ball.”

                      Then you were doing it wrong – and I bet your teammates loved having you not support in second phase, etc.

                    2. Right, there is more action at any given time during a soccer or rugby game than a football game. Whether the action at any given time is relevent is another matter entirely. Like ice hockey, you are required to pay attention to the game all the time in order to see the plays that end up mattering.

                  2. I agree – he must have been watching League.

                    Try watching the Six Nations or such and tell me it is a bunch of standing around.

                  3. What Restoras said. I didn’t know shit about rugby till a few years ago – then two of my kids started playing.

                    What a game! Way more fun to watch than soccer or football.

                    I can hardly stand the NFL any more. Literally haven’t watched a whole game this year – that’s a first. it’s just…boring.

                    Plus = PUT A FUCKIN’SKIRT ON’EM ALREADY!

                    1. I can’t stand the NFL as well. But I find Rugby highly overrated. It is just not that fun to play. I would rather play soccer, and I hate soccer.

                      And it is not hard to support the second phase. You just have to be in the right place, big fucking deal. The bottom line is that if you don’t have the ball or are not tackling someone,you can’t hit anyone. That makes the whole game a fucking yawner.

                    2. Then your team sucked, or you never supported a maul or a ruck, crashed on an offensive possession or helped on an overload in your entire career – if you are standing around and not contributing, that is on you, or you played wing or out center on a crappy team that had no ability to pass – not the game. I suggest watching some higher level play and see if people are standing around.

                    3. John,

                      It is on all the time. And I will chose to believe my lying eyes. People stand around a lot in rugby. And what is helping in an overload? Getting to the right spot and waiting for the ball to be pitched to you. BFD

                    4. Ever play defense?! Overloads go both ways.

          2. Curse your faster response. I agree – two way play, and fairly non-stop action.

          3. Australian Football

            I used to watch quite a bit of it – back in the days when I actually used to have cable.

            1. Now that is some fun stuff too – near the end of our spring rugby season, we used to take 20 minutes and play some Aussie Rules to liven things up a bit.

              I remember seeing some classic tough guys back when AR football used to fill in ESPN late night holes.

            2. I used to watch that, decades ago when ESPN didn’t completely suck. One legacy is that my brother and I, to this day, will occasionally do the goal untouched signal for extra points and field goals.

              1. I think everyone who watched it back in the 80s does that signal.

                1. They should. That’s the best part of AFL.

                  1. I want one of the old school white coats and pith helmet things the judges wore.

        5. Has anyone actually done a statistical analysis to see if injuries are really more likely on kickoffs, or is this all based on the selective recall of some coaches and owners?

  40. the internetz strikes again – notably /b/

    And the Winner of TIME’s Person of the Year Reader Poll Is?

    1. That entire list is retarded.

  41. Eliminate NFL kickoffs and replace with 4th and 15 for the scoring team?

    And make them wear dresses.

    1. They already have to do that on offense.

    2. No, bras and tinfoil hats, because SAFETY!!!!!

      1. Actually, and it seems counter-intuitive, if the NFL wanted to reduce concussions/head injuries they should quit making the helmets so damn protective. By reducing the pain associated with helmet contacts, the more protective helmet encourages players to lead with their heads. If the NFL were to go back to leather helmets, or removed the face mask even, you would see a return to tackling with the body, as opposed to “tackling” by spearing with the head. So yeah, a tinfoil hat might really be safer than the helmets they wear now.

  42. Somebody slap this whore:

    Pelosi Accuses GOP Of Lack Of Concern For Kwanzaa…


    1. I have a question about that. How many blacks actually observe that? I get the impression it’s a small minority.

      1. I’ll just say it’s not a very big event over here in West Africa.

        1. Most people there are either muslims or catholics, no?

          1. No, not in Liberia. It’s about 80% of a mix of protestant/indigenous with most people ‘believing’ both, but the ends of the spectrum believing only one.

            The rest are muslim and catholic.

            Me and the Ukranians who work for the UN are the only atheists I’ve met.

            1. What’s indigenous there? Yoruba?

            2. Isn’t Liberia where the freed slaves were repatrioted to from the US? Liberia comes from the word “liberty” and its capitol Monrovia, from US President James Monroe.

        2. You mean that they don’t consume Maize from the New World as Africans did in the years before Columbus?

          Color me shocked.

          Also Kwanzabot

          and the present he distributes to everybody

      2. Most blacks are Christians.

        Any reference to Kwanza I hear about is usually from some bigot.

        Hell, I am a rationalist and I celebrate XMas.

        1. Hell, I am a rationalist and I celebrate XMas.

          So you can’t even be honest about that?

          1. If shreek is a rationalist, then I would rather join the church.

          2. Dec 25th is when the Sun appears to change direction – signaling a new year. It is worth a small celebration. The real New Year’s Day.

            1. Jesus, you can’t get anything right, shriek. The winter solstice is December 21st, fucktard.

              1. To be fair, there is a delay between the actual solstice and what he is talking about.

              2. I didn’t mention the Solstice, dumbass.

                The Sun visually sets on the horizon and begins its annual ascent on Dec 25th. This is why all ancient gods were “born” that day.

                1. I could swear I’ve seen the sun visually set on the horizon, gosh, every single day.

                  Even our ancestors knew that the solstice was December 21 or 22, and that the following day (not December 25) was the day that the sun began its annual ascent. We landed on the 25th as a historical accident, splitting the difference between the old solstice celebrations and the new official “New Year” beginning January 1.

                  Jeebus, shriek, just give it up.

                  1. I always thought it was to commemorate the three days in the tomb after the shortest (darkest) day. Thus bringing the light of Christ into the world.

            2. You said you celebrate Christmas, dumbass. If you’re celebrating something else on Dec 25th, you’re not celebrating Christmas.

                1. Xmas is just a shortening of the term Christmas. Using “X” as shorthand for “Christ” is a practice that goes back to over a thousand years.

                  You really can’t get anything right. It’d be hilarious if it weren’t so pathetic.

                2. The celebration of “X” – the derp, it is a risin’!

        2. I have a black friend who’s family is Christian and celebrates both Christmas and Kwanzaa

    2. Perhaps her concern is over the founder’s soldering iron festivities.

    3. “Is there not an appreciation for the Jewish holidays? The Christmas holiday? Kwanzaa? All the other things that families come together around? Bonding rituals important to the strength of our society? Do we not care about that? Well, the American people do. And they want to shop for it.”

      I don’t get it. At all.

      1. Do you need someone to libsplain it to you?

        1. This part – “Well, the American people do. And they want to shop for it.”, yes, please do.

          1. Yeah. Is she saying I’m being hindered from my Christmas shopping because of uncertainty about the fiscal cliff? It seriously took me almost an hour to come up with that guess.

            1. I thought she was saying that your racist lack of appreciation for Kwanzaa was hindering your Christmas shopping.

              1. I could only come up with what R C just said. I haz puzzlement.

      2. This is just another example of sliding further into senility.

        Just watch–she’ll be the Dems’ House leader all the way up through her retirement, and within a year or two afterwards she’ll succumb to Alzheimer’s. There’s no other way to explain the monumentally stupid, incoherent crap she’s been spewing lately.

        She really needs to step down so DWS can take over. If the Dems are going to have an babbling female running the House party, it might as well be someone who acts somewhat lucid.

      3. Kwanzaa is an African American holiday, invented in the sixties, right in the USA. If people want to celebrate it, fine. But she might as well fuss because Festivus is not properly acknowledged. Sheesh.

    4. Pelosi Accuses GOP Of Lack Of Concern For Kwanzaa…

      Holy crap, isn’t there some fiscal cliff she’s supposed to be preparing to jump off of? Does she really think this is a priority? And if it’s so important, why didn’t she give a fuck last kwanzaa?

  43. Maybe a big “BRIDGE CLOSED” sign?

    “Somebody needs to go back to town and git a shitload of dimes!”

    1. He’s trying to blow up the LePetamaine Throughway?!

  44. More “science” from catastrophists:
    There is no connection to climate change, but why pass up visual propaganda?:
    “The tides aren’t new – they happen every year – but this week a coalition of government and nonprofit advocates hopes the photos will draw attention to the rising seas.”

    Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..z2EwY6PK3K

    1. The tide comes in, the tide goes out – YOU can’t explain that!

      1. BillO inspired Steven Colbert. Always certain and usually wrong. We owe him for that.


          1. Are you now a police officer in the Seattle area?

    2. The comments… don’t read them!

      1. From the comments:

        James718 7:12 AM on December 13, 2012
        Too many people on the planet means too much unsustainable development and too much carbon out put.
        But for all of the hue and cry, there is hardly any mention of human over population control, which is the quickest, easiest and surest way to prevent the coming catastrophe.
        Why is that?

        I vote that we start the population control discussion by offing this turd.

        1. Yeah, I always say to people who advocate population control to volunteer themselves to be “reduced”. The rest of us who don’t buy the hype and don’t care about population control can worry about the “problem”.

      2. “King tides themselves are the highest high tides of the year and not related to global climate change,” said Marina Psaros, global coordinator for the King Tides Initiative, which is organizing the effort. “But (the pictures) can give us a good sense of where the water is going to be under sea level-rise conditions, so people can get out and see what sea level rise will look like on a daily basis in 50 years.”

        When there is a permanent rise in the sea level, I think that people will choose a different place to park their cars.

        1. ‘*IF* there is a permanent rise in the sea level, I think that people will choose a different place to park their cars.’

          Closer, I think.


      1. Maybe if they would give out some tote bags like PBS, they might have gotten more.

        1. Or alt-text. Or hat tips. That’s where the real money is.

    1. Why do you hate Reason, The Late?

    2. Fruit of the reason-thon?

  46. Federal Workers have the sads.
    Read this and weep for the drone-like bureaucrats.
    They are unappreciated and their bosses are assholes.

    1. No one who gets a good paycheck is under appreciated. But, yes federal jobs suck ass and anyone in a position of authority is a Dilbert level meathead asshole.

      1. And yet they cling to those jobs like a security blanket.

        It’s frightening to think that some people want the rest of the economy to be like that, too.

        I’d kill myself if I had to work for a Dilbert level meathead asshole forever. I mean, if even when you get transfered or promoted, your new boss is also a Dilbert level meathead asshole?

        I’d rather work at McDonalds.

        1. I hear you. If King Obama hadn’t decided to destroy the private economy, I would have left years ago. The whole thing is a giant fucking waste of time. The sad fact is that more and more otherwise productive people are being sucked into it because it is the one life raft available in this shitty economy.

          1. Yeah, I can see that.

            That’s what bothers me, too.

            It really does look like the path to prosperity, for a lot of college graduates these days, must be working for the government.

            And that’s not the way it’s supposed to be.

        2. I have had some pretty shitty bosses and some average ones. I have only had a handful, so nothing spectacular. There are ones above me that are pretty stellar, but the real policy makers at HQ level and DOD level are fucking idiots IMO and the opinions of many others. A lot of the policies and taskers that get sent down make us scratch our heads and wonder why we have to do unnecessary and redundant tasks.

          When some SES has a bright idea, we all cringe and shiver knowing the BS is about to flow.

          1. When was in the military and far away from Washington, I knew a few vulcan smart people who impressed the hell out of me. In Washington, I have met a few as well. The difference is that in Washington the smart people are nowhere near any decision making authority. Decision making is left to the craven and the stupid.

            1. Decision making is left to the craven and the stupid.

              Obviously, it pays to know the right people if you want to get ahead in the public sector.

              1. Nepotism is rampant, though they claim it is not.

  47. Google makes porn searches more difficult.


    Warty commits suicide.

    1. What purpose does google serve other than to search for porn?

      1. None at this point.

      2. Searching for used Danelectro longhorn guitars! Hello!

    2. Google makes porn searches more difficult.

      In other news, Bing and Yahoo see a massive uptick in users.

  48. Bah Bah Wah Wah asks the fat bastard from New Jersey if he’s too fat to be president.


    1. They showed him in the crowd at the 12-12 concert last night. My God he really is a fat bastard. He was taking up two seats in the Garden.

      1. The images that got me were when he and Obama met on the tarmac during Sandy storm. HOLY SHIT! IT’S THE PILSBURY DOUGHBOY COME TO LIFE!

        I need to lose a couple, but Chris, bruh – SERIOUSLY. You fat.

  49. The Stig snubs Tom Cruise.
    Ha! I love it!

    1. WAIT
      Didn’t Tom Cruise appear on Top Gear with old, sacked stig?

    1. While I suppose there are people who have obtained a CCW who don’t like cops, everybody I’ve met who self-identifies as a legally-armed citizen strongly supports law enforcement.

      Said simply, legally-armed citizens tend to consider themselves to be “good guys.”

      Perhaps that’s because police chiefs only issue permits to people who suck their cocks?
      I know that there’s no way I could ever get a permit because I would be unable to hide my contempt for the asshole with the power to issue it.

      1. everybody I’ve met who self-identifies as a legally-armed citizen strongly supports law enforcement.

        He’s never met me.

        1. I don’t make it a point to self-identify myself as armed to LEOs unless required to do so by my carry permit regulations.

      2. Shall-issue, baby. I didn’t see cop the first during the entire process.

        1. Round here the burden of proof is on the police chief to give an excuse to not issue the permit.
          This means you have to have a perfect record.
          By perfect I mean perfect. If the cops were ever called to your house, no permit. If you ever had a traffic ticket, no permit. If there is any record of any kind they will say you’re unfit.

          They’ll go back as far as they have to because their job is to deny permits.

  50. North Korea may be able to get a satellite into orbit, but experts say that reliably launching rockets, and using them to blow stuff up on-purpose, is still years away.

    I don’t need rockets. I’ve got Arrec Barrwin.

    1. Do you know how fucking BUSY I am?!

  51. http://www.fannation.com/truth…..=hp_bf2_a4

    Hockey is about to be destroyed so noted Union thug Don Fehr can keep his reputation as a tough guy.

    1. Watch me not care.

      1. I like hockey. But the point is that a lot of people love it. And it is being destroyed so some asshole, and Fehr is a total asshole, can feel good about himself.

    2. Sports unions never made any sense to me. Why would a professional athlete want an union? The better players would make far more money with more guarantees if they simply negotiated contracts from scratch.

      1. It goes back to my point I made yesterday in the RTW thread about unions being about relationships between employees and not between employees and employers.

        Sports unions fuck the super stars. Someone like LaBron James or Kevin Durrant or Tom Brady is under paid. They generate hundreds of millions of dollars for their employers. In a true free market where salaries actually represented value, the five or ten real stars in any league would be making 95% of the salaries because they are generating 95% of the value. Average or below average players that give little or no marginal revenue would be making comfortable livings but would be lucky to make above the mid six figures.

        Unions, by setting minimum and maximum salaries and restricting free agency, flatten the salary structure. So the stars make less than they deserve and the average players make more. Unions do this because there are more average players than stars. So the average players outvote the stars and set up a system that benefits them at the stars’ expense.

        Unions are always about one group of workers fucking another group of workers.

        1. Yeah,

          Except that professional sports leagues never have a free labor market and the players unions make the market freer – by reducing collusion between teams and increasing competition for talent, meaning the top earners can make more money.

          We a history have many decades of sports leagues sans player unions to know what the unions have done there.

          1. It wasn’t the unions that ended collusion. It was the court. There was a players union in baseball in the 1960s. And they didn’t end the reserve clause. The courts did. The unions did nothing but entrench and systematize the teams’ collusion.

        2. Remember when Charlie Finley suggested they make them all free agents every year? Of course the owners were too short-sighted and petty to see the genius in Charlie’s suggestion.

      2. “Sports unions never made any sense to me. Why would a professional athlete want an union? The better players would make far more money with more guarantees if they simply negotiated contracts from scratch.”

        I think it’s particularly attractive to employees in industries where the chances of being debilitated by injury are high.

        I’m about as anti-union as anybody around here, but even I break down when you start talking about coal miners. What those guys do is dangerous.


        If somebody gets debilitated and can’t work anymore because they got hurt doing their job, I’m not sure it’s okay to just cut him off the payroll.

        The other thing to remember is that professional players are all working in an industry where the owners are essentially colluding. The owners basically have something like a monopoly on access to the industry.

        …just ask the ex-owners of USFL and XFL teams.

        Anyway, the owners (in baseball, football, and hockey) have blacklisted players in the past. If you have to deal with owners that are essentially colluding against players, it makes more sense to organize right back.

        Especially if you’re not one of the elite players–and most of them aren’t.

        1. “The owners basically have something like a monopoly on access to the industry.”

          Think about it this way: if you’re good at it coming out of college, you can’t just call up whatever team you want and offer to play for them if they’re the highest bidder.

          You enter a draft–and whatever team picks you? That’s the team you have to negotiate with. You’re essentially blacklisted from all the other teams. What other industry gets to blacklist employees like that? Hell, they make a spectacle of it!

          They say they do it for parity. And they do! And they have a salary cap for parity, too. But if you’re a player, how does a salary cap benefit you? There are some benefits in being able to play for more than just big market teams and make a lot of money–but those benefits only come to the guys that make it through their rookie contracts and become free agents.

          Free agency basically means that you’re no longer blacklisted. And think about that. Every player who isn’t a free agent is basically blacklisted. No wonder they form unions!

          1. All of that is illegal under anti-trust laws Ken. The only reason it goes on is that there is a collective bargaining agreement that allows it. If there was no union, the courts would have stopped all of that long ago.

            1. Free agency didn’t even start until recently.

              Some of the Hogs were making like $75,000 a year.

              1. Free agency didn’t start because the union didn’t negotiate for it. Had the players decertified and sued, they could have had free agency in the 70s.

          2. They say they do it for parity. And they do!

            They really do it more these days to try and protect the other owners from their own bad decisions. I agree that a draft is inherently anti-free market, but the NFL has never been about that. It’s always been about protecting the interests of a very small group of people.

            Before the draft, for example, franchises used to come and go all the time. Two of the first NFL champions, the Akron Pros and Canton Bulldogs, haven’t existed for decades. But after the draft began, only three teams have gone under. In a normal market, teams like Tampa Bay, Jacksonville, the new Cleveland team, they would have disappeared by now. Same thing in baseball and hockey.

            1. I’d add that in a normal market, Green Bay wouldn’t be able to afford their current players’ salaries–they wouldn’t be a competitive team.

              Also, Los Angeles would have a team.

    3. Somebody posted this in PM Links last night. Here’s what happens when the burden of hockey is lifted off the Canadians. They invent an invisibility cloak.

      1. An invisible link too? Those northern bastards.

        1. Hear’s what I submitted in the PM links


          1. Looks pretty good, though it didn’t do a great job with the solid colored wall.

    4. Charles Pierce wrote a dick-slurping ode to Fehr in Grantland a couple days ago.

      You’d think a parlor pink like Pierce would wake up to the fact that before television, free agency, and huge player salaries, Joe Sixpack could actually afford to go to the games on a regular basis. Now that it costs up to a week’s salary just to take a family of four to one of these events, someone who makes the median salary isn’t going to break the bank now to get season tickets when he can just get the cable package and watch it all on TV.

  52. Of course, my respect for PoliceOne was short-lived after reading this article and comments.

    Example: Would be nice if he tried that to an Officer 40 years ago and had his little head shoved halfway up his as#. Oh, yeah, that’s right….that’s why that stuff didn’t happen 40 years ago!

    1. Ugh, very first comment:

      Just saw the video…my comment(s) is directed to the parents of this malcontent. You’ve obviously failed at the most serious part of parenting: teaching your (now young adult) child respect for authority, and being accountable for his actions…

      Right, because everyone knows it’s a parent job to turn their child into a mindless authoritay fluffing drone. Although I suppose having a society comprised of submissive pussies would make their job a lot easier.

      …He’s not learning anything at that college that will assist him in becoming a useful part of our society…

      Useful things like how to suck cop cock?

      …Not surprised about the campus officer being fired; working for a campus police dept. (especially after you’ve worked a a career in a larger municipal agency) can be very stressful, with civilian administrators second guessing you at every turn…

      I’m sure it’s very hard to get an authoritay boner when the “civilians” (newsflash asshole: cops are civilians too) are constantly second guessing you with their talk of “rights” and “4th ammendments”, whatever that is.

  53. if the NFL wanted to reduce concussions/head injuries they should quit making the helmets so damn protective.

    I agree.

    1. People still got concussions in the days of lousy helmets. They just told you to walk it off back then.

      1. Another option is keep the helmets, but get rid of face masks.

        Defenders will target differently.

    2. I have a feeling that the pussification of the NFL (I mean, seriously, they’ve started throwing flags on clean, hard hits like confetti at a New Year’s parade) is going to undermine the NFL’s popularity.

      Rugby may just have an opening there. Kinda like the way MMA pushed boxing aside.

      1. I’ve been looking for it.

        I watched it when they had it on TV.

        Go All Blacks!

        Made me want to travel to New Zealand.

        1. NBC was showing sevens play during the summer – maybe they are putting a toe in the water?

      2. I have a feeling that the pussification of the NFL

        Mike Golic is often an idiot, but he had one good line about that:

        New rule is no hitting the QB below the hemline.

        1. I don’t respect quarterbacks today like I used to.

          When Johnny Unitas and Dan Fouts and Joe Montana were doing what they did, they were getting the shit beat out of ’em.

          It’s not the same game after Troy Aikman. And it was Jerry Jones that pushed in the rule. Honestly, I think, subconsciously, that’s how the rumors about Aikman got started. Well, that and the fact that all my fellow Redskins’ fans assume every QB from Dallas is…flamboyant.

          1. Wait, are you trying to tell me that Troy Aikman isn’t gay? Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

            1. We may have been trying to frame a guilty man.

          2. Anyone who plays more than one season for Jerry Jones must like taking it in the ass.

            1. I think people are starting to recognize how far out there he really is.

              Now that Al Davis is dead, suddenly Jerry Jones has taken center stage as the weirdest ass, eccentric owner out there.

              Even Georgia Frontiere and Dan Snyder figured it out eventually! I still see Jones on the sidelines and in the locker room–he thinks he’s the head coach. It’s just like working for Al Davis–except Al Davis knew a lot more about football.

  54. Sports unions fuck the super stars.

    Sports unions are an extreme example, but yes; as I have said for a long time, if you are actually good at what you do, the last thing you should want to do is join a fucking union.

    1. Sports Unions are generally the most free market of unions, and actually tend to be more free market than management, in most cases.

      If all unions worked like the MLBPA, for example, unions would probably be more popular.

      1. I wouldn’t call a union “free market” if it servers to exclude all people from the workforce that are not at least three years out of high school (NFLPA). There are 19 year olds out there that do not want to go to college, but the NFLPA has always made it a part of the CBA that those men cannot play in their league even though they are of the age of majority.

        Fuck sports unions.

        1. What sloopy said. This is especially appalling in basketball.

        2. You know what I’d actually love to see, just for the lulz? All the professional sports organizations make it a rule that any athlete has to have their bachelor’s degree before they can be signed by a club.

          The owners would instantly put the player’s organizations on the defensive, because what are they going to say? “We think it’s unfair that poor black men should be required to go to college in order to be hired for lots of money!”

  55. People still got concussions in the days of lousy helmets.

    That’s obviously true, but the forces involved have greatly increased; *in my opinion (based on personal experience)* a significant contributory cause is the perceived impact absorption of the modern plastic helmet. As we all know now, no matter how securely your skull is latched down, the gooey mass inside it remains free to slosh around, which is how the damage is incurred. And I am certain the current NFL helmet is vastly superior to the helmet I wore in college thirty-some years ago.

    Similarly, a reduction in the protective capabilities of the other pads (shoulder pads in particular) MIGHT reduce impact forces by making plain to the players the forces they are subjecting themselves to.

    This rank speculation on my part is based in part on something I saw many years ago suggesting boxers would benefit from a return to lighter gloves, because it hurts your hand more when you punch somebody’s rock-hard cranium.

    1. I’m sure there’s something to this theory. If players think they’re practically invinsible thanks to their pads and helmets they’re far more likely to hit each other harder than they otherwise would. In rugby you don’t see nearly as many full speed collisions in large part because they’re not wearing pads (though that may also be partially because of the lack of a passing game).

      I think another reason may also be because of what I call the “sportscenter mentality”. You’ll never see perfectly executed form tackles shown on sportscenter or other highlight shows. It’s always the bone jarring concussion inducing hits that make it. So if a player wants to make the highlights, they have to go for the hard hits.

    2. This rank speculation on my part is based in part on something I saw many years ago suggesting boxers would benefit from a return to lighter gloves, because it hurts your hand more when you punch somebody’s rock-hard cranium.

      Also not taping their wrists so that they can’t bend would have a similar effect. In martial arts we don’t tape our wrists, which makes it more difficult to punch full force until you learn to keep the wrist straight on impact. And even then I still every once in a while hit a little off even after 10+ years.

  56. everybody I’ve met who self-identifies as a legally-armed citizen strongly supports law enforcement.

    Discretion is definitely the better part of valor when you’re dealing with a guy who carries a magical piece of tin which completely negates your version of events.

  57. the NFLPA has always made it a part of the CBA that those men cannot play in their league even though they are of the age of majority.

    This is why I am in favor of Right to Work. Without it, the union basically is allowed to assert an ownership right on all workers everywhere. NOT LIBERTARIAN, MAN!

    1. I heard this argument on the radio yesterday. Union supporter says that if you don’t want to join a union, you shouldn’t work in a union shop.

      So basically he thinks that the union should have veto power over hiring decisions.

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