OK Here Goes: Reason's Webathon-Telethon!

As foreshadowed below, Reason is having, or attempting to have, it's first ever Webathon-Telethon RIGHT THE HELL NOW, in order to rattle the tin cup for supporting libertarian journalism. You can tweet your questions & comments (preferably while indicating your giving level!) to our @reason account; do likewise at our Facebook page, send us an email at [e-mail], or leave a comment on this thread. Here goes!

Comments

[Warty]

Episiarch| 12.5.12 @ 1:40PM

I have a question: why is Warty still allowed to post here?
reply to this

[Episiarch]

ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION

[Tim]

Because he can

[Hyperion]

I have a different question. Where are the trolls today? We know they don't have jobs, so it can't be that. Welfare checks running late this month and mommy couldn't pay the interweb bill?

[RAYMONDO]

Axiom : Force is bad. Observation : Government uses force. Conclusion : Government is bad.

No you don't need "data" or "statistics" or "sources". As you can see I have rigorously derived the libertarian world view using logics. This should be all the ammo you need to win any argument with an evil statist. If these logics don't work, accuse him of being jealous of wealth, that he wants steal money from people through the government, and that he wants to throw people in rape cages.

I'm still learning how to troll. Can I get a troll review please?

[Hyperion]

Listen up here, Raymundo, you don't just come here and make one post and get a troll review. After you have been verbally abused and logically defeated over and over for a few months, then maybe you are worthy of a review.

[mr simple]

The editors/contributors are all busy with this today.

[Fist of Etiquette]

THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH THEY TOOK IN LAST YEAR??? Two words: audit.

[Delroy]

Two words?

Aw ditt?

[Ptah-Hotep]

There are three kinds of people in this world; those who can count, and those who can't.

[fish]

There are 10 kinds of people in this world....those who know binary and those who don't!

[Almanian.]

There are TWO kinds of people in this world - those who think there are two kinds of people in this world, and those who don't.

PWND.

[Jerry on the road]

It is when you use government double-counting accounting.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

We don't like the new version of reason.com. Or at least I don't. Spend the money on liberty-increasing things.

[Caleb Turberville]

Spend the money on a comment edit button.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

^^^THIS!!!1111!!11!!!one!!111!!!!1!!11

[Kaptious Kristen]

Edit button means trolls will pussy edit their posts. Is this an even trade-off just so no one will see your typing lapses or poor grammar? I will not stand for this!

DOWN WITH EDIT FUNCTION!

[robc]

beeradvocate.com has like a 5 minute edit period.

If you dont edit in that time, its permanent. Does a good job of preventing that.

[dunkel]

But BA sucks ass, so...

[robc]

are you ding or something?

[dunkel]

not at all...just don't care for the Alstroms. I read BA for reviews, but the threads are atrocious.

[Hyperion]

e-d-i-t feature. Ok, that is the last time I will ever say it.

I dunno, maybe if Matt and Nick stand in the middle of the highway with a plastic bucket, I will toss in a few coins. Probably depends on what color the plastic bucket is.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Who took mah buckett?

[hamilton]

WHERE IS THE JACKET NICK?

[Tim]

The jacket jokes have grown tiresome-und so haf you.

[Caleb Turberville]

So, it's come to this.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

http://xkcd.com/1022/

[Warty]

I have a serious question: What magnitude of financial catastrophe do you think it will take for Washington to stop spending twice as much as it takes in?

[Hyperion]

11.0?

[Ska]

Is that on the Richter or the Nigel scale?

[LTC(ret) John]

Both. At once.

[Hyperion]

richter scale of economic illiteracy

[tarran]

TO be serious, I think it's going to take massive price inflation that leads to people abandoning the dollar for money substitutes (like gold chains in Argentina) and the consequent diversion of civil servants from doing governmenty thing to working second jobs to make ends meet.

The collapse is going to be awesome!

[Caleb Turberville]

Wait, can we get them to say our handles out loud? I use my real name, so this could be kind of cool.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Did you just throw a cat out the window or are the new digs next to the airport?

[Tim]

They seem to be trying to do PBS pledge drive.

[Brett L]

A PLEDGE pin?!!

[Hyperion]

I'm suspecting they are trying to trick us here. I don't hear any phones ringing in the background. Do they think we are stupid?

[Brett L]

Did you guys write a book?

[Doktor Kapitalism]

I don't think so. We would have heard of that, wouldn't we have?

[Brett L]

All jokes aside, I passed on both of my free (thanks, guys) hardback copies to people who wanted to know more about libertarianism.

[Tim]

NOT KENNEDY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

There went the program...

[Gojira]

Why do they do this thing in the middle of the day when people NOT begging for money have to be at work?

I can't watch or listen to this!!!

[Gojira]

^^to clarify, I can't watch or listen to it because of my work computer restrictions, not because it's so unbearable bad (which I wouldn't know if it is or not, since I can't frakking see it!)

[Archduke Pantsfan]

sucker

[Episiarch]

Same here. I'd love to watch this but I just can't. Will it at least be recorded so we can watch it later?

[SugarFree]

They don't care about you. You suck.

[Episiarch]

I know. 🙁

[SugarFree]

They mix you up with Fist of Etiquette. They is one of the worst insults I've seen a human have to survive.

[SugarFree]

*That is* Edit button.... EDDDDDDDIIIITTTTTT BUTTTTOOOOOOONNNNN!

[Episiarch]

WHAT?!?

[SugarFree]

Haw-Haw!

[nicole]

I'd love to watch this but I just can't.

Is this the most full of shit you have ever been?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Have you been bought out? I can't think of any other reason why reason won't cover the NHL lockout other than that ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Bettman just announced there was nothing to announce!

[Episiarch]

Exactly. Why won't the Jets play Timmy?

[Caleb Turberville]

So, my question: Did the Jets make a mistake picking Sanchez as the starter for the Jacksonville game?

[Brett L]

Is there a right pick for the Jets?

[Episiarch]

TIMMAH

[Hyperion]

Timmah used to be a Donkey, so I hate him. I hate Peyton Manning also.

[Brett L]

That's the right pick for the CBS. Ryan has to keep Timmah on the bench to have the faintest hope of keeping his job. If Tebow were to go on a Denver 4th-and-God winning streak, Ryan is fired. (At this point, I think Rexy is on his way out unless Jacksonville buys out Tebow in the off-season.)

[Auric Demonocles]

Surrender.

[hamilton]

We've seen that already two weeks ago with the famous Ass-fumble.

[Auric Demonocles]

If they were truly surrendering, they'd have just forfeiting the game and avoiding the humiliation.

Also, I happened to check out ticketExchange for Monday's game. 975 available. Seems a lot of people share your view.

[hamilton]

Yeah, the Wednesday release on the ticketexchange is always big for MNF. I ended up giving the tickets to a friend; I have to do a kid thing Monday. But I am probably going to go to the SF game.

[Auric Demonocles]

"Probably"? You monster.

[hamilton]

I know. I'm a rabid fan, but the kids beat you down. I do have a bet with my SF-based cousin on the game though. Involving Facebook-based photoshaming. I need to find a pic of Kaepernick in a dress. Sadly, finding pansy Brady pictures is pretty easy.

[Warty]

Who else has watched the Octomom porn? I have. It...underwhelms.

[WTF]

No way would I want to see that in a porn video.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

At least she found a way to make some money that wasn't Federal...

[Raston Bot]

Something tells me this is more cry-for-help than the bold act of an enterprising young woman.

[Gojira]

Is the thing like, damaged, from all those kids? Or does it look normal?

[Warty]

I think they fixed it with CGI.

[Tim]

I would expect it looks like the Sarlac from Return of the Jedi.

[$park?]

Mexican jokes!?!?!

RAAAAACIIIIIIST!

[Brett L]

Rosie O'Donnell?! Cancel my goddam subscription! Refund my money!

[Hyperion]

Did she just say that Rosie O'donnel claimed to be Libertarian?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Mr. Welch, your webathon seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why is reason so popular?

[Gojira]

The old references are the best references.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Jon Lovitz has been spouting some Libertarian stuff on Twitter lately

[Hyperion]

Since I am off on a hating people tangent, I must say that I hate people who claim to be Libertarian and then talk out of the other side of their mouth about roadz and bridgez and a balanced approach to bringing down the deficit that reaches across the aisle. The only good reason to reach across the aisle to Democrats is to bitch slap the piss out of them.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Libertarian or libertarian?

/pedant

[Archduke Pantsfan]

my bad.
small l

[Hyperion]

All little ls turn into big Ls after enough pissedoffedness occurs.

[Kaptious Kristen]

I did the opposite.

[Caleb Turberville]

Speaking of Billy Corgan, he's re-released Mellon Collie this month. It's supposed to have two 1995 era concert DVDs.

[Hyperion]

Is that about a green collie, or a vegan collie?

[Brett L]

Anyone want to go in with me on a J sub D memorial donation?

[Kaptious Kristen]

I could do that...how do we coordinate?

[Brett L]

Just tell me what you want to throw to my email and I'll add my $20 to it. We can figure out a way to internet trade money. I'll put it up again in the PM links again and we'll get a pledge in.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Matt Welch just said "swag." You argument is invalid.

[Groovus Maximus]

"My name is Kennedy, and I hung out with Billy Corgan; we discussed how I destroyed Alternative Nation!"

[Episiarch]

Did you just admit to watching MTV after 1989?!?

[Ska]

Hell I was on MTV in 1991.

[Episiarch]

Ska is Carson Daly?!?

[Ska]

Come to think of it Kennedy jammed a mic in my face and asked me my name. And I flubbed it.

What a weird non-reunion.

[Gojira]

Some Liquid Television was good.

[Episiarch]

Only Aeon Flux and Beavis and Butthead, really.

[Groovus Maximus]

I loved Aeon Flux. IIRC, Alternative Nation came on after Liquid Television. And yes, I watched the Em TeeVee until '92.

Probably my favourite segment show was "IRS' The Cutting Edge."

I got a kick out of "The Head" as well.

[Episiarch]

I watched The State. I admit it.

[SugarFree]

"What's this blue meat?"

[Groovus Maximus]

That's...pathetic. That's worse than being a Juggalo. The State? I could at least respect you if you mentioned "The Young Ones."

You probably watched "The Ali G Show", too.

[Episiarch]

Of course I watched The Young Ones, you tasteless schmuck! I'm wearing a Young ones T-shirt right now!

[Groovus Maximus]

Too late now, Jugga-lower. You outed yourself, you ignominious berk. Trying to make up for it with latent "Young Ones" protestations. You, sir, are athleticism of patheticism in action.

[Hyperion]

You've ruined the game, Vivian!

[T]

I'll admit it, but in my defense I was drunk from '87 to '93.

[$park?]

I would like to submit that every time someone says "freedom isn't free" you take $1 off the amount of money you were considering donating.

[Tim]

Gillespie is currently in the shitter, reading a book from that shelf behind them. Nothing goes smoothler with Austrian economic theory than a colon spilling double flusher.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Now that's funny. They should have done that one screen. Where're the antic's they promised?

[$park?]

Why does Ron Bailey look like a science experiment? What the hell kind of accent is that?

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Mixed South-Midwest?

[Hyperion]

I was just wondering if I drove out to Keystone and climbed up on Mount Rushmore with a chisel, and when no one is looking, change the images to that of Obama flanked by Mao and Stalin, with Pol Pot on the left... would I get into trouble, or would dear leader invite me to the Whitehouse for a beer summit?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ron Bailey? SHOW US YOUR GENES!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Do something funny, garframmitz!

[$park?]

You know, I just found out what is more boring than reading about economics: watching people talk about economics.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

What do you think about rapping about economics?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0nERTFo-Sk

[Tim]

That's the same reaper Gillespie drew on his math homework in 1977.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

+1

[HazelMeade]

Threadjack.

I just want to use this thread to say: FUCK "GLUTEN FREE". Fuck it. Seriously.

This latest food fashion was invented by hypochondriac food nazis intent on showing off their social status by emphasizing that their constitutional feebleness (a clear product of superior genetic breeding) renders them incapable of eating the same vulgar ingredients, like wheat, as the rest of us.

LOOK AT ME! I'M SO REFINED THAT NOT ONLY DO I KNOW WHAT THE WORD "GLUTEN" MEANS, MY BLUE-BLOODED LINEAGE MAKES ME INCAPABLE OF EATING ANYTHING SO BASE, AND I CAN AFFORD NOT TO!

I CAN AFFORD TO SPEND FIVE TIMES AS MUCH AS THE REST OF YOU ON A GLUTEN-FREE GLAZED ALMOND-PEAR TORTE, NOT THAT ANY OF YOU POOR VULGAR POTATO-EATERS WOULD BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE REGULAR KIND.

MY SUPERIOR BODY IS LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF INJECTING THE GARBAGE YOU PEOPLE FEED YOURSELVES!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

tl;dr

[Episiarch]

The really stupid thing is that gluten gives bread its elasticity. Non-gluten bread, pasta, etc. is pure, unadulterated shit. Enjoy eating shit, fuckwads!

[Warty]

Wheat isn't food. It's what food eats.

[Auric Demonocles]

A similar thing I love is when vegetarians claim to be healthier, but then get sick if they eat a tiny bit of meat.

[nicole]

My first encounter with anyone anti-wheat wasn't someone who had celiac's or whatever, but someone who thought that you could get MS and yeast infections from eating wheat. Plus, she was Canadian.

And then I read in my uni newspaper that wheat was bad because it was psychotropic, so like, all of us are "not our real selves" all the times because we eat bread and shit, and should switch over to quinoa.

And I was just like...psychotropic is...bad?

[Warty]

I read Wheat Belly recently. It was extremely silly, and I'm quite in favor of low-carb stuff. They probably got the psychotropic shit from that book.

[Episiarch]

"Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning."

[Hyperion]

These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart, whoa-oh

[Hyperion]

because it was psychotropic

Apparently wheat can get a fungus named ergot, that can be toxic to humans. It contains something named ergotamine which was first used to synthesize LSD. I wonder if that is where that rumor comes from?

[nicole]

There was a House episode where someone was hallucinating from ergot poisoning. It's also an old-timey abortifacient.

[Groovus Maximus]

True. Calfergot is currently used as a TX for migraines and cluster headaches that are accompanied by auras.

[HazelMeade]

Was this person my sister, by any chance? Because that sounds exactly like something she would say.

Only she would probably add something about how it's all a kind of mind control by evil corporations to prevent the proletariat from rising up against their capitalist oppressors. Gluten = false consciousness!!

[nicole]

Well in that case she may well have been your sister. Except I'm pretty sure she was an only child.

[Randian]

Uh, Celiac Disease is a real thing, Hazel.

And Caps Lock is Cruise Control for Cool.

[HazelMeade]

Yet far less common than peanut allergies. And yet you don't see a whole section of the grocery store (contiguous with the organic foods section) devoted to nut-free food.

[Randian]

Because nuts aren't as common as wheat, so it is therefore much easier to find peanut-free foods, because 99% of foods are already peanut-free.

Every restaurant and grocery store in America must be big dummies.

I can't understand someone having a bug up their ass about the wonders of Capitalism.

[HazelMeade]

It's not capitalism that bothers me. It's food faddishness. Especially when it's based on people imagining themselves to have bizarre food sensitivities so they can have an excuse to shop in eclusive special-food sections that cost more while simultaneously tasting like crap.

It's self-flagellation as a social-status marker.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

I'm about to watch Chelsea bow out of the group stage. HAHAHAH

[sticks]

I hope Luiz scores an own goal.

[BakedPenguin]

Bye, bye, Benny.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Dinosaurs. Because you're not doing anything interesting.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/20596746

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Edit button, garframmitz! With registration there's no reason why not. (Drink!)

If this shows up in the PM Links, I want credit.

[Caleb Turberville]

Okay, this might be boring. Just sayin'.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Something hypothetically interesting:

http://www.foxnews.com/health/.....ew-recipe/

French women may need foreigners to have babies at some point in the future. Who volunteers?

[Groovus Maximus]

Well, there has been an influx of Muslim fellas as of late, and if Egypt is any indication, they are quite hot to trot...

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Well, there went my business model...

[Hyperion]

Just one more confirmation that my Eurotrash burqua marketing scheme is going to pay off big time.

[Auric Demonocles]

Are they going to start shaving?

[Hyperion]

Only if the new socialist government pays for the shave gel and razors.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Cell phone going off on camera. Classy.

[Chloe]

With what sounded like a king of the hill ringtone.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ron Bailey thinks humanity is going to get better? EUGENICS???

[Brett L]

YouTube questions?

[Tim]

Welch is back. Great. I hope you washed your hands!

[$park?]

OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!! They're gonna plug their book!!!!

[Brett L]

Yay! I got mentioned on camera. I gave guys. I gave!

[Episiarch]

See, I won't give unless I get mentioned first. RANSOM BITCHES

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Well, they mispronounced your name but then were really talking about FoE.
does that count?

[Episiarch]

NO.

[Fist of Etiquette]

What happened? Were they praising someone as being devilishly handsome? Because that would have been about me. LOL666!

[Episiarch]

They said you were impotent.

[hamilton]

Liar. You're just cheaping out and pissing on the commons that is the H&R board.

[Warty]

You did get mentioned, you shallow cunt.

[Episiarch]

What of it? I didn't hear it.

[Warty]

They just said you were a cunt. Cunt.

[Ska]

How many times a day could you listen to Charlie Utter insult Francis Wolcott?

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Good.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

What book?

[Caleb Turberville]

Good movie/intro to libertarianism is Shenandoah, right or wrong?

[Fist of Etiquette]

I think the orange has actually dropped during this telethon. Maybe you should bring in a certain someone to do polling analysis.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Actually, I think you're right.

[Episiarch]

SHUT UP NAME STEALER

[Fist of Etiquette]

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

[Fist of Etiquette]

What the crap, did I miss them talking about me through my sockpuppet Episiarch? Did I miss that?

[Tim]

They said you were a cunt.

[Fist of Etiquette]

No they didn't. They don't allow that kind of language on camera on the internet.

[Tim]

You're right. They said you had an abnormally large clit.

[Fist of Etiquette]

THAT'S A DISABILITY. YOU CAN'T MAKE FUN OF THAT.

[NoVAHockey]

the senate rejected that treaty. yes we can make fun of it. for now.

[$park?]

Maybe they can just have Emily Ekins and Tracy Oppenheimer just sit on camera and smile. Maybe they could go beyond that but I don't want to be greedy.

[sarcasmic]

I would be happy with that.

[sarcasmic]

Serious question: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

[Ptah-Hotep]

Yes

[Hyperion]

Only after they have been empowered and are no longer being oppressed by old white guys.

[Caleb Turberville]

I sense a Virginia Postrel cameo coming up!

[Brett L]

What are the rules on that? Finish the office bottle?

[Randian]

I think that Hit and Run has to open the font floodgates for five minutes.

[$park?]

What game do you think they just dragged Suderman away from?

[Episiarch]

I would hope it was Borderlands but it's probably Skyrim. What a douche.

[Ska]

AC III

[SugarFree]

Kingdom Hearts.

[Groovus Maximus]

That's LOW, Saccharin Man. Dude. Why don't you just accuse him of playing Final Fantasy I through Whatever while you're at it?

[Episiarch]

Final Fantasy VII was fantastic. FUCK YOU.

[$park?]

He's a doctor Epi, what would he know about video games?

[Episiarch]

He just plays Minecraft all day. What a loser.

[Ska]

That's OK - it's the people who keep playing Terreria that you have to watch out for.

[Episiarch]

I thought it was Portal players that were the true danger.

[Randian]

I like FF II (American) / FF IV (Japan)

[Hyperion]

I almost bought the first one over the weekend, but some asshole talked me into buying Mafia II instead. I sure am good at wrecking cars.

[Episiarch]

Dude. You're a fucking idiot. Borderlands absolutely rules. Buy it or you're stupid.

[Ska]

Buy it if you really dig pointless shooters that don't even have multiplayer.

[Episiarch]

There's a point besides killing things and getting loot?

[Ska]

Killing other players and hearing their screams of anguish for a quarter of a second.

[Hyperion]

Nah. I may still buy it, later. Right now I have New Vegas, Sleeping Dogs, and this car wrecking simulator named Mafia II, to keep me busy.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Bejeweled 3

[Sernylan]

+1

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Pacman on Google.

[Kaptious Kristen]

The Sims 2

[Peter Suderman]

I finished Borderland 2 and Dishonored over the weekend. I started Far Cry 3 last night.

[Hyperion]

How is Far Cry 3 so far? I am curious about that one.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Matt's been gone suspiciously long...

[Caleb Turberville]

Gillespie: "I was listening to NPR or something."

Admit it, you commie, you listen to government radio!

[$park?]

Someone tell them that if they're going to do a webcast then they should address the camera and not each other.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

You do it. LINO!

[$park?]

Don't lump me in with those loser libertarians.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Then do it yourself!

[$park?]

Never!

[Tim]

Halfway in, WHERE ARE THE ANTICS?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Gillespie is asking Suderman about his personal medical transactions? This is bordering on HIPAA violations.

[Caleb Turberville]

Actually, HIPAA goes out the window once the patient is dead. Any chance that this interview was pre-recorded and Gillespie is dismembering the corpse and Welch is mailing his wife a corsage?

[Warty]

Fallout:New Vegas was more fun than Fallout 3, Suderman. Do you dispute this?

[Pro Libertate]

I do. Launching mininukes in DC is extraordinarily satisfying.

[Ska]

There has to be mods for aim down sights and hunger/sleep/dehydration for FO3. Then you'd have the best of both worlds.

[Hyperion]

I cannot dispute that, New Vegas is totally badass fun. I like staying far enough back from a group of enemies that they won't advance on me and lobbing fireballs at them with my
incinerator.

And I am still pissed off over the ending of Fallout 3, so that settles it.

[Tim]

$20 says the Gillespie kid picks his nose!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Needs more antics!

[sarcasmic]

Hi Matt. Hi Jacket.

Let me tell you a story about free milk and a cow...

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Fiscal sanity? What is this madness?

[Tim]

Dueling monotones.

[Caleb Turberville]

Anarchy in the University of Kentucky?

[Randian]

Mangeeewww.

[sarcasmic]

Ponzi! Ponzi! Ponzi!

[Tim]

Ward is tiny, Hobbit territory.

[nicole]

Does that can of beer look huge or is Mangu-Ward just tiny?

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Yes

[Episiarch]

Please god tell me that's malt liquor.

[nicole]

I thought you weren't watching.

[Episiarch]

I can play the video if I want, I just have no audio. STOP JUDGING ME. Also, I am importing census files. SOME OF US WORK YOU KNOW.

[nicole]

Some of us have lunch hours that we wait way too long to take and then these assholes talk about food the whole time we're cooking I'M NOT JUDGING JUST HUNGRY

[sarcasmic]

Movie magic. Matt is closer to the camera.

[Kaptious Kristen]

It's not only Repeal Day, it's also Krampusnacht! Let the booze & evil flow!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

That was funny, at least.

[$park?]

Drinking beer and swearing! There goes your GOP support.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

What GOP support?

[mr simple]

Webathon? Are you recreating the events that happened in that ancient Greek city, when Pheidippides was able to post a video of Darius taking a nut shot, signifying the end of the first Greco-Persian flame war?

[Caleb Turberville]

Mangu-Ward's afternoon posts are going to be weird.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Good. I need a laugh after this telethon.

[nicole]

I need a beer after it.

[Tim]

Libertarians love vending machines? I thought it was food trucks.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Only the government could loose money on alcohol...

[Fist of Etiquette]

Libertarians love vending machines because they love it when automation puts people out of work.

[Episiarch]

SHUT UP NAME STEALER

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Speaking of names, when will we see yours on the donate bar?

[nicole]

STEVE SMITH RAPE was one of the first donors...

[Episiarch]

Just like last time, not until the very last day. CUZ THAT'S THE WAY I ROLL.

[Randian]

Right, the time-value of money says that I should wait.

[Episiarch]

Look, I can make a few fractions of a penny of interest if I wait. So, being a cheap WOP, I wait.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The last person who donates is the first person on the scroll. First!

"Oh, boy. Man, you're just like the rest of us, ain't ya?"

In the Heat of the Night quote. You're welcome.

[Episiarch]

Quoting Whitesnake songs? You're even more horrible than I ever imagined.

[Kaptious Kristen]

How do you know he's not Ron Swanson's Bitch?

OK, that's me.

[Groovus Maximus]

I knew it!

[Randian]

I love vending machines because it lets the orphans in my factory buy their own damn meth.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Is there a monocle vending machine in the executive lounge?

[nicole]

I think Matt just gave a surreptitious hate-shout-out to sloopy.

[$park?]

GAAAHHHH! If that woman says LIKE one more time my head is going to explode!!!!!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Keep track. It's incredibly fun.

[Caleb Turberville]

Mangu-Ward: "BURRRRPP!"

[Doktor Kapitalism]

"Cthulu squids-on onesies"

Yes, please.

And skimping the space news? Heathens!

[Fist of Etiquette]

FINALLY SOMEONE SHOWS UP LOOKING LIKE A PROFESSIONAL WHO RESPECTS HIS CUSTOMERS.

[nicole]

To be fair, Mangu-Ward may have been looking like a professional; most of her outfit was covered up by a giant beer can.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Women don't count as professionals. Not in the way you mean. Sorry, I don't make libertarianism woman-unfriendly, I just acknowledge it.

[nicole]

Sideboob!

[Randian]

Mike "Murderdrone" Riggs is wearing the uniform of The System. This cannot stand.

[Episiarch]

God he looks like a dork. Yeah, I said it.

[Warty]

He looks like he smells like bacon.

[Episiarch]

He looks like he smells like corned beef.

[Randian]

Try not to be so on-the-nose about your crush, Mr. Subtle.

[Warty]

I can't help it! He's making me hungry!

[mr simple]

Are you calling him a narc?

[Mike Riggs]

Matt told me to dress up.

[Randian]

Tell me you weren't wearing pants at least.

[Mike Riggs]

Dockers, actually. Sorry.

[Randian]

It's your only pair, isn't it?

[Mike Riggs]

Of pants? Yes. Most days I wear the official uniform of Florida: jorts, Crocs, and a tank top that reads, "Get the Led out."

[Randian]

Needz Moar Billabong.

[Brett L]

Riggs:
Tell the truth. You're from Gainesville, aren't you?

[Mike Riggs]

St. Cloud, actually.

[Groovus Maximus]

YOU WEAR CROCS????

[Restoras]

Crocs are an abomination.

[Ryan60657]

I donated yesterday. Suggested alternative gifts for contribution levels: For $666, a copy of Matt Welch's glasses. For $1,000, a Nick Gillespie-autographed Jacket.

[$park?]

RIIIGGS! I'm gettin too old for this shit!

[Kaptious Kristen]

Riggs + sideboob = *barf*

[nicole]

Yeah that was awkward. And he reads our comments!

[Mike Riggs]

All of them.

[Heroic Mulatto]

And he looks you in the eye when he reads them.

[Tim]

This dull like a butter knife on granite.

[nicole]

He reads our comments!

[Tim]

Keep telling yourself that.

[RBS]

Does Mike still jerk it in Chili"s bathrooms?

[Matt Welch]

We're reading these out loud in the office.

[SugarFree]

Is that a "yes"?

[db]

Question: with the recent attempt by the GOP leadership to purge more fiscally conservative/responsible members from committees in the House, what does this spell for the next two to four years as far as the national debt and taxation?

[Ryan60657]

Illinois legislature close to approving medical weed too.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Twirling, twirling, twirling toward freedom!

[Kaptious Kristen]

He looks like his name is "Matt Feeney"

[RBS]

I wasn't expecting his accent. He's a goddamn Brit.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Yeah, that was shocking. Now I need to go back and check his writing for Britishisms.

[Groovus Maximus]

You guys didn't know Feeney's a Limey? Weak. And yes, he uses Britishisms sometimes.

[Heroic Mulatto]

You guys didn't know Feeney's a Limey? Weak. And yes, he uses Britishisms sometimes.

Well, that and Feeney's 'disdain' for those oh-so-gauche ZIONIST JOOZ!!!

[SIV]

How could anyone have missed that?

[Randian]

We're not all on the lookout for immigrants, Racist Ray.

[Tim]

Matt Feeney has nervous eyes. Like he farted and is hoping Nick won't notice.

[Matt Welch]

This one brought laughs.

[Fist of Etiquette]

CHECK HIS GREEN CARD.

[Randian]

Matt Feeney looks vaguely familiar. I think he's been on a few episodes of Law y Order or something.

[mr simple]

He looks like Will Forte.

[Warty]

YOU SOUND LIKE A FAG, FEENEY

[Randian]

That's British.

Oh wait, carry on.

[RBS]

"We scour the previous day's AM Links to poach stories from the comments"

[Brett L]

New Jersey and England. Do you guys get a disability credit?

[Randian]

I wonder what reason's dental outlays look like.

[Fist of Etiquette]

None of those extra U's you limeys like to shoehorn into American words better show up on 24/7, Feeney. And we don't cotton the Queen around here.

[mr simple]

Is Feeney speaking english? We don't speak limey here! He terk are jerbs.

[Tim]

oh, and FUCK DREW CAREY!

[Randian]

Um, why?

[Heroic Mulatto]

He likes Drew's physique?

[Tim]

Why fucking not?

[Fist of Etiquette]

OMG he said schedule like it doesn't even have a c in it.

[Tim]

You mean shed-jewel?

[mr simple]

Meredith's a man? Now my dreams make sense.

[RBS]

WTF, Meredith Bragg is a man?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Meredith is a dude?

[sticks]

There was a musician by the name Meredith Bragg. Also a dude.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I don't like it.

[Caleb Turberville]

It's pronounced "Mer-rah-DEATH!"

[BakedPenguin]

So like Kim Jong-Il talking about Dave Mustaine's band?

[Kaptious Kristen]

Is Bragg SWFing Welch with those glasses frames?

[db]

That's a MAN, Baby!

[Pro Libertate]

I have a question. Why hasn't the Reason Foundation officially adopted the slogan, "No, fuck you, cut spending?"

[nicole]

If they adopt a slogan and it's not "fuck off, slaver," I won't renew my goddamn subscription!

[RBS]

Fuck off, slaver can be for the mag and fuck you, cut spending for the Foundation.

[Pro Libertate]

Perhaps "Fuck off, slaver" could be Reason's and "No, fuck you, cut spending" could be Cato's.

Though I think all libertarian outlets should adopt the latter for the moment, in Leviathan-starving harmony.

[nicole]

If we can get them to say "fuck off, slaver" on the youtube's, the telewebathon is well worth it.

FOR J SUB D

[robc]

I will donate if they say "Fuck off, slavers" in the next 3 minutes.

[RBS]

Works for me.

[Randian]

Oh great, now ProL is going to have a bigger head than Minnie Driver.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Welch's Latin pronunciation is terrible, by the way.

O tempora! O mores!

[Pro Libertate]

Why is that?

[Pro Libertate]

Oh, now I know. Look, Matt, the "fuck you" part is negotiable. In fact, for TV and radio, I suppose "No, cut spending" would be okay. Less oomph, but that's true of TV and radio in general.

[Gojira]

I can't watch or listen to it, but I feel I'm getting the general idea by following the comments here.

Frankly it sounds boring, and Meredith is a dude, is what I've come away with.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Frankly it sounds boring

It's worse than a "director's cut" commentary track.

[Groovus Maximus]

I agree, HM. It's Lunesta territory. Also, you were going to mail something to me WRT TOEFL, correct?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Also, you were going to mail something to me WRT TOEFL, correct?

Yep...I'm collecting the resources. Expect it Friday-ish.

[Groovus Maximus]

Oj! Bol'shoe spasibo, Prepodavat'el Heroik Mylatto.

[Ska]

Dude, you telling me you don't want to see a hobbit like Mangu-Ward drinking from a barrel drum?

[Gojira]

That is kind of hot...

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is Bragg spoiling Boardwalk Empire right now?

[nicole]

I'm disappointed in how many people even here assume people with formerly masculine-only given names are women. You know Lindsey Buckingham is a dude too right? Evelyn Waugh? Sigh. /pet peeve

[Randian]

Alright, I am going to cop to the fact that I thought Evelyn Waugh was a woman until you said that.

[nicole]

You're awesome for admitting it. Protip: if it's a man, you say it like "evil in."

[SugarFree]

I think "nicole" is try to make us understand that he's not a woman.

My apologies, sir.

[Almanian.]

He's a MAN, man!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

The character "Angel" from The Rockford Files full character name was Evelyn Martin.

[RBS]

Who the fuck is Lindsey Buckingham?

[nicole]

I will pretend I did not read that comment.

[Randian]

Since the first admission went over so well, I will also cop to the fact that I have no idea who "he" is either.

[Pro Libertate]

Hint #1: Probably had sex with Stevie Nicks.

[Randian]

So that narrows down about a billion or so.

[Episiarch]

DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT STEVIE

[nicole]

She could be your silver spring, bitches.

[Pro Libertate]

Believing, don't stop.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Rumours

[Groovus Maximus]

Hint #2: "Holiday Road"

Bonus hint: "National Lampoon's Vacation"

[Kaptious Kristen]

I can't believe these people, nicole. I'm not even a fan of Fleetwood, and I know who Buckingham is.

[nicole]

Kristen, thank you...I have never before felt so alone...

[RBS]

Listen, I'm 30 and I hate Fleetwood Mac. Boring.

[nicole]

I'm not saying you need to like it. But not having heard of...

[RBS]

I've heard of the band, I just never bothered to spend any time learning any of their names.

[The Bearded Hobbit]

Listen to their early stuff, pre-Stevie.

... Hobbit

[Groovus Maximus]

Also, I am amazed how many people assume that Sasha is only feminine or was originally feminine.

[nicole]

For reals. My stupid parents decided it was going to be my sister's nickname. Thank goodness my dad was smart enough to insist she have a real name though, and not just Sasha.

On the other hand, he wasn't smart enough to insist on naming me Angharad like he wanted to, so fuck him.

[SugarFree]

Darahgna is the name of the angel who brought me the gold plates that I translate for my blog.

[hamilton]

Your mom is Regat?

[Pro Libertate]

You know, the guy with the palace.

[Randian]

New idea: troll book clubs and talk obsessively about favorite fem authors Evelyn Waugh, Ayn Rand and Lindsey Buckingham.

[BakedPenguin]

You can't fool us, Pro Lib. That's that woman who owns all of Canada's money.

[Pro Libertate]

Yes, but she has a boyfriend/architect who built a big house for her.

[Ryan60657]

nicole is a dude too.

[Tim]

Don't go all Joyce Kilmer on us...

[hamilton]

I can never hear that name without appending "...of the Planet Earth" to it.

[hamilton]

Stacy Keach. Terry Gilliam. Kennedy.

[Almanian.]

Marion Morrison

[Pro Libertate]

. . .is a fag.

[Almanian.]

So I've heard. Someone has video...

[Cytotoxic]

This study claims 57% of Mexi immigrants are on welfare. I'm sure it's bunk could someone debunk it please?

[Kaptious Kristen]

Did Bragg produce Remy's only decent video - Arlington: The Rap?

[Randian]

Lobster Girl makes for good video.

[Jerry on the road]

It's better than Champions League soccer!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

you lie!

[mr simple]

Reason promotes hatred towards the Brits? Racists!

[Heroic Mulatto]

I can't believe that Nick feels it necessary to explain who Kurt Loder is.

Are half of you guys like 12 years old?

[Randian]

We just have good taste, that's all.

[Heroic Mulatto]

FUCK YOU! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY CHILDHOOD!

[nicole]

Based on the number who don't know Fleetwood Mac...yes.

[SugarFree]

I'm starting to wonder myself. I mean Episiarch and Warty have the mental ages of 12--despite being 63 and 9 respectively--, but what excuses do the rest of them have?

[Episiarch]

63?!?

[SugarFree]

Sorry. 64. I forgot your birthday, Grandpa Crankyballs.

[nicole]

So I guess that means you're not still sending him valentines, birthday greetings, and bottles of wine?

[SugarFree]

I send his girlfriend condolence gifts in the mail, but nothing else.

[mr simple]

First Fleetwood, then the Beatles? What's next, 80s Genesis?

[Almanian.]

80s Genesis

*barf*

It all died after Hackett left...

/True Believer

[mr simple]

The 80s killed a lot of good bands.

[Groovus Maximus]

Nicole does seem to have that Invisible Touch, no?

[nicole]

Damnit Groovus, now you're making me admit that I really do like Genesis.

[mr simple]

This really is a land of confusion.

[nicole]

Speaking of MTV as well, that video used to be terrifying.

[nicole]

No, it's still terrifying.

[nicole]

Am I supposed to be ashamed of quoting Sgt. Pepper? Because I am not and I will never be. Nothing can come between us; when it gets dark it tows my heart away.

[Almanian.]

Sgt. Pepper is within and without you.

[Randian]

It's Mick Fleetwood, Christine McVie, and Stevie Nicks. I don't care who the rest are.

[nicole]

It's pretty hilarious since all I was doing was trying to pick some of the most famous dudes with now-fem names I could think of really quickly. Nice job, nicole.

[RBS]

I love when people get all offended when you don't know all the members of their favorite bands.

[Episiarch]

Look, some of us stopped watching MTV before it was cool. I'm not one of those people, obviously, but they exist.

[hamilton]

Props, Pro Lib.

[Ryan60657]

Question: Who will take over for Ron Paul as the next Congressional champion of limited government and individual liberty?

[Tim]

Oh look: building to the climax...

[Almanian.]

NO FUCK YOU CUT SPENDING

[Pro Libertate]

NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING
NOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDINGNOFUCKYOUCUTSPENDING

[Almanian.]

Wowsers! YOu must have been granted some special power over teh skwerlzZ!

[Fist of Etiquette]

SPAM! I call spam on this.

[Almanian.]

No! Fuck you! Cut spending!

[Pro Libertate]

How do you say it in good Latin? That might be the best way to make it a motto.

[Groovus Maximus]

Net! Vashu mat', chto tebe nuzhno net nemnogo monety!

[Pro Libertate]

I don't think that's Latin.

[Groovus Maximus]

It looks better in Cyrillic. -) I'll have to look up the good Latin.

Though to be fair, the majority of the Cyrillic alfabet is based on Latin. Five letters are Greek, and one is Hebraic.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Awkward.

[Heroic Mulatto]

From the youtube comments:

Hey, I was wondering have you guys done anything on Chem-trails??
TheJake452

Genius troll or the most genius troll?

[Groovus Maximus]

Just genius. Most Genius would have been something about GMO corn.

[Corning]

Chem-trail theorist have to be the laziest motherfuckers on the planet.

how hard is it to fill a balloon with helium and attach some sensors to it...

Or hell rent a fucking a plane and go test the air.

Of course there may be a selection process going on here. The non-lazy theorists go test the air and discover that it is water vapor....leaving only the lazy.

[mr simple]

Question: Why do you have a donation drive during the biggest spending season of the year (Xmas) when people have the least amount of expendable cash?

[Ryan60657]

Answer: because many people make all their charitable gifts in December for year-end tax planning purposes. Because of this, almost every 501(c)3 makes a year-end appeal.

[mr simple]

Wow, a real answer. Thanks.

[Almanian.]

It's for the children. Duh.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Welch just gave a shout-out to all the Penthouse Letters I send about my sexual adventures in MN.

OMG! I just did a chick in MN and she was totally Spanish...or maybe Italian.

[Tim]

Warty sends his letters to Field and Stream...

[Heroic Mulatto]

I loled.

[Ryan60657]

How many people donated during the telethon? Doesn't look like the bar moved much...

[Randian]

I like how you think the bar moves in real time.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It reached the bottom of the r as they talked at us.

[db]

Johnny Cash, signing off. *leans forward to laptop*

[Fist of Etiquette]

I didn't even get mentioned once even though I'm awesome so I'm canceling my donation check. You just cost yourselves a fiver, reason.

[Auric Demonocles]

I assume they didn't mention me either. Those jerks.

And if I was, they did it during the workday. Those jerks.

[SugarFree]

They did mention you, jerkface.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Figures. Everytime they did comments some asshole walked into my office and expected me to do work so I missed it.

I guess I'll have to wait until next year to be summoned to wreak havoc at a reason slumber party, which is what happens when my name is mentioned aloud.

[Almanian.]

Is something happening today?

[SugarFree]

Yes, it's the one day a year that heller washes his ass. Keep an eye on his youtube channel.

[Almanian.]

God DAMN I hate Fleetwood Mac.

That is all.

[nicole]

It's how I rebel against my parents. They hate them too.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Wow. You're evil.

[Kaptious Kristen]

Welch Miss Teen Reason Editor said "and such like".

[Almanian.]

Such as Africa, such as.

[Tim]

You want me to donate, interview the Sarah Palin Stripper for 7-8 minutes. That's all I need.

[Almanian.]

*bowwwwwwchikka bow wowwwww*

[Heroic Mulatto]

Lisa Ann is more than a mere "stripper," my friend.

[Tim]

Well if you're on a first name basis with her I'd love to apologize to her in person.

[Almanian.]

"What does MJ stand for - 'Most Jerk'?" - The Shat

[Almanian.]

SCREW YOU GUYS - I'M GOIN' HOME

[Corning]

I will be giving 100$ when i get home after work.

My question:

Was there a mustache contest a few years back? And who won?