DHS Preps for Zombie Apocalypse, Dave Brubeck Dies, Union Video Promotes Class Warfare: P.M. Links


Dave Brubeck

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  1. Where’s Scott?

    1. San Diego.

  2. Detroit Councilwoman JoAnn Watson believes her city deserves a little consideration for delivering its votes to President Obama…

    Ah, the problem with being a reliable vote.

    1. Is she saying that they helped rig the election in his favor there in Detroit?

      1. I think she is saying that with blacks voting almost lockstep for Obama, and Detroit being chock full of black voters, the Detroit area delivered enough votes to keep the state from going to Romney.

        Same deal with Philadelphia.

        No voter fraud needed to explain that.

        1. None needed, but they like keeping their hand in anyway. You never know when it might be actually needed.

          1. They might need it in 2016, because the blacks aren’t going to turn out for Biden after Obama.

        2. I think it would be foolish in the extreme to assume that the entrenched union/machine operations in cities like Detroit and Philadelphia didn’t engage in any voter fraud.

          Its what they do.

        3. Not fraud, she is asking for a straight out bribe.

      2. That’s sure what it sounds like. I’d suggest a Michigan recount, just in the name of accountability.

    2. Didn’t they already get their bailout?

      1. You’re assuming they only get one bailout.

      2. It’s bailouts all the way down!

    3. hah! In Illinois, everyone knows you always, always make sure you get paid for your vote(s) up front. Michigan idiots.

      1. This. Votes are a fucking valuable thing.

      2. Auto bailout.

      3. I paid everyone up-front to vote for me and for what? Not a single Electoral College Vote!

        Pi 2016!

    4. Quid pro quo. Isn’t that the standard for bribery? Given that Detroiters are demanding a bailout, of Obama were to deliver, would that not complete the crime?

  3. John Travolta and Olivia Newton John star in possibly the worst video for the worst xmas song ever made. http://bit.ly/UolYbv

    1. How did I just get tricked into watching part of that? That is like the most horrible, saddest thing ever.

      1. Against my better judgment I ignored your comment and attempted to watch. Uggggh.

      2. You’re obviously too young to remember the “Star Wars Christmas Special,” for which you should be thankful.

        1. Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman, what’s not to like?

        2. A friend of mine made me a bootleg copy of that. I have not yet managed to watch more than 10 minutes of it.

    2. lol? how does this have more dislikes than views??

      Christmas Gold, Jerry!

    3. I Think You Might Like It

      Bet that’s not the first time Travolta has used that line.

  4. Why the sexist marriage proposal won’t go away, by a woman who will likely never get married.

    1. Women are routinely told by the culture and media that men are reluctant to get married, that men are usually interested in women only for sex, and that women are desperate to get validated by a ring on the finger.

      Marcotte is not wrong in all things. When even H&R bears her out, perhaps we should worry.

      1. On the other hand, Jezebel continues to be stupid on the same topic:

        My boyfriend has a hyphenated last name and it’s one of the things that attracted me to him. It wasn’t like a deal maker/deal breaker, but I definitely thought it was cool that he came from a family where his mom’s name was as important as his dad’s.

        1. Carried to its logical end, name hyphenation will bankrupt the world and deforest the planet.

          1. just ask the spanish

            1. You mean like Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez, also known as the Rat?

        2. Her boyfriend is hispanic?

        3. I’m not sure why that’s obviously stupid.

          1. Attracted to someone because of a hyphenated name he didn’t even give himself?

            1. Rockefeller-duPont?

              Or Jones-Smith?

            2. Yeah, that should’ve been obvious. Must be still sick.

              I told my wife I didn’t care if she took my name. In fact, I went so far as to say the kids should have either/or last name, with the first kid’s last name randomly chosen.

              Family names are clearly patriarchal. So I find it understandable that defaulting to that tradition might ruffle some feathers. Unfortunately, there are few practical alternatives. Going matriarchal has the same flaws. And doing the crazy shit that I proposed above simply confuses things.

              In the end my wife was more wedded to tradition and family cohesion, so we went the patriarchal route.

              1. Yeah, I don’t get why all these women want their dad’s name so bad. I mean, you get to choose your husband. Let’s see, which family name do I want, the one for the family I chose, or the one for the family I didn’t? Unless the one for the family I chose sounds really bad with “nicole” in front of it…I’m going with that one.

                When people brought up the “but it’s your dad’s name anyway…and your mother’s maiden name is her dad’s name anyway…etc” issue, it was just like, “But my name is mine!” Whatever.

                1. You should totally marry a guy named Tesla.

                2. I don’t get why all these women want their dad’s name so bad

                  I don’t think that’s it. It’s their name. It’s an issue of personal identity.

                  And as I’m sure you’re aware now, it’s a big hassle to make the change. She still has her pre-marriage email address.

                  1. Right, that’s what they’re saying–it’s their name. Maybe I don’t get it because I’ve never really liked mine, or possibly because of patriarchy. I also don’t use “Ms.”

                3. nicole-

                  I remember the first day of 4th grade(in 1973), my teacher made a “joke” about us having to learn to spell “Villavicenzio” because she had to take her husband’s surname.

              2. This is why I like UKR/Russian culture: women know that they take their husband’s familija and it isn’t questioned and is accepted with pride. There’s no such thing as hyphenated last names and ochestvi (patronymic) is always the father’s name.

                At this point, I have pretty much decided I will not take an American wife.

                1. I’m sure you’ll make Mrs. Groovova very happy.

                  1. If I have a son, he will be Vladimir Groovusevich Maximus.

                    Now tell me that isn’t a name befitting an Alpha Male!

                    1. His enemies will scatter at the mere sounding of his name.

                    2. The name is Maximus. Vlad Maximus.

                      My friends call me Groov. But you can call me Mr. Maximus.

                2. And probably vice versa.

        4. Shouldn’t that be his maternal grandfather’s name is as important as his father’s?

        5. It’s impossible for both names to be equal. One comes first and one comes second AND THAT’S NOT THE SAME.

          1. It’s the *hyphen* that has the place of distinction.

            1. Eventually, Episiarch’s point will force a compromise, where everyone has the same last name: -.

              1. And it’s easy to spell!

          2. In the future, people will randomly mix the letters in the names to make it equal. Smythe-Jones will become Jstsomenyhe, for instance.

            1. Random is boring. Anagrams are not.

              Thus, Joy Then Mess.

              1. Not if you pronounce it “just some ninny.”

                1. Besides, random is *fair*. Nothing is more important in this world than fairness.

            2. Beat me to it, Lucifer Our Lord. I was thinking alternating every other letter so that it was shared: Brand-Cat becomes Bcraantd (we ran out of letters if we are to be married)

            3. Good idea, but can we insert a random vowel between adjacent consonants to facilitate pronunciation?

              E.g., “Jasetusomenyhe”, pronounced “Smith”.

              1. It’s pronounced “Throatwobbler Mangrove.”

              2. I see you are fluent in Gaelic, Rich! -D

                1. Go, rabbi math agent!

        6. Nick: You got a reservation (CLEARING THROAT) for Webber-Agnew?
          Receptionist: Sorry. What was that name again?
          Nick: Webber-Agnew. Webber and Agnew.
          Receptionist: I got a “Nick Webber-Agnew.”
          Lou: I’m sorry, excuse me. What? What did you just say? Webber-Agnew? Webber-fucking-Agnew? You took your wife’s last name? You’re a fucking hyphenate?
          Nick: A lot of dudes are doing it. It’s progressive. Lou: No. No dudes are doing it. You look like a progressive guy. Is that progressive? Would you do that?
          Receptionist: No.
          Lou: No. And he has a goatee.

          1. Fletch: I’m John.
            Gail Stanwyk: Ohhhh, John.
            [they laugh]
            Gail Stanwyk: John who?
            Fletch: John Cock… tos… ton.
            Gail Stanwyk: That’s a beautiful name.
            Fletch: Well, it’s Scotch/Romanian.
            Gail Stanwyk: That’s an odd combination.
            Fletch: Yeah, well, so were my parents.

        7. Names are just relics of the patriarchal individualism. Once we become enlightened and join the collective, we can all assume equal labels, like a randomized 10-digit number or “Jo.”

    2. I’ve never been asked out by a woman. I would bet any amount of fiat currency I’ll never be *seriously* proposed to by a woman (just in case I somehow get famous, since that gets some women to make signs requesting marriage from ball players and such). I guess that means that if I ever have a relationship that I want to turn into a marriage, I’m going to have to be the one to get down on one knee and ask. If that’s too sexist for the writer, well, I wasn’t going to ask her anyway.

      But if I was seriously asked by a woman I was in a relationship with to marry her, I wouldn’t let society’s rules from keeping me from saying yes, or jokingly ask where my ring was.

      1. I don’t remember actually asking. I somehow got bamboozled into maybe thinking I did, but I don’t actually remember the moment that I did. Of course, after three and half decades, it could just be an early sign of Alzheimer’s.

        1. Maybe it was some role-playing that got out of hand.

          1. Failed the saving throw I suppose.

            1. Failed the saving throw I suppose.

              Rolling… 01?! Can you fumble on a saving throw?

            2. There wasn’t any proposal from either direction with me and the missus, just an angry agreement.

              1. I’m pretty sure the Indo-Rus root of the word “marriage” was “angry agreement”.

      2. I’ve never been asked out by a woman.

        I have. I was never quite sure why, she had plenty of guys interested in her. And she was very definitely not looking for anything long-term.

    3. Oh god, I clicked through to the Jezebel article. The comments, don’t look.

      But seriously, she reports that a majority of women want to be proposed to, but I guess they’re just suffering from a false consciousness and every tradition really is just sexist and nothing more.

      1. The comments landed me in a pit of despair, but I climbed out somehow.

        Of course, that doesn’t count climbing out of the meta-pit of how are so many of these commenters married, but I’ll make it.

        1. The comments landed me in a pit of despair

          “You are in the Pit of Dispair…don’t…(HACK COUGH COUGH)…Don’t even think about trying to escape.”

        2. And what kind of guy person are they married to?

          I feel sorry for their quadruple hyphenated kids.

          1. That’s how we climb out of the meta-pit, mr simple.

        3. I’ve never been married, but then again, I’ve never been married to one of those commenters. See how bright your day becomes?

      2. But isn’t the photo caption the absolute unvarnished truth?

    4. Typical of the progressive southerner transplanted to NYC, Miss Marcotte completely dismisses men being much more assertive than women. She must slavishly follow the Gospel of the leftist elitists to the final detail. Masculine aggressiveness can only be mentioned in connection with to violence. All masculine virtue must be purged from discussion among polite society lest the Condescendi see her backsliding into her Redneck roots.

    5. I asked Mr Priestess to marry me and informed him that a negative reply was not optional, but then I was coercing him with lots of wild and crazy pagan sex so he didn’t seem too unwilling. I took his name because my maiden name sucked big time (sheer school mockery value maxed out) and his name was uber cool. My grandson is going to be James Tiberius Kirk. Oooyah!

      1. I took his name because my maiden name sucked big time

        This poor bastard has gone through life with the last name of “Priestess”, and you’re complaining?

  5. Pittsburgh-area cop held for trial on official oppression charges

    He used his gun to smash a woman’s car window out when she accidentally rolled down the wrong window during a traffic stop. Subsequently he threatened her with charges unless she agreed to pay for the damage to his service weapon. His chief of police testified on his behalf that this was legitimate dealmaking.

    In a strange twist, the officer has been suspended without pay by his town council. Also, a police officer from another municipality who witnessed the smashing testified against him.

    1. Very nice. I would love to start seeing more stories like this (or really just less stories that police are committing crimes).

    2. Now I’m wondering why the police chief still has a job, if he thinks smashing someone’s window and forcing them to pay for the damage to your gun is “legitimate dealmaking.”

  6. Aussie DJs prank London Hospital, get in trouble.

    1. The radio duo – Mel Greig and Michael Christian – said in a statement today: “We were very surprised that our call was put through. We thought we’d be hung up on as soon as they heard our terrible accents.”

      I would love to see someone on one of the radio shows or TV personalities who does a pretty decent Barry Obama call into the daughters’ school and let shenanigans/hijinks/tomfoolery ensue.

      1. “There are some, uh, who say that Sasha is not, uh, doing well in geography. Well, they’d, uh, better come after ME!”

  7. I will listen to Time Out later tonight.

    1. As my wife said to me, “Dave Brubeck took five.”

  8. Yes but is DHS prepared for the old slow walking zombies or the new fast walking and climbing zombies?

  9. Fossil found could be world’s oldest dinosaur.

    1. Turns out it’s Senator John McCain.

    2. Posted in the telethon thread.


  10. Homeland Security paid for first-responders to attend a conference at a California island resort that featured a simulated zombia apocalypse.

    Obviously, an island is where you want to be for the zombie apocalypse. While zombies can walk under water, it is unlikely they would survive the crabs. (Much like when my old man bought me my first prostitute.)

    1. You haven’t played Dead Island, have you?

      1. I’m talking about real life not some silly video game.

      1. I’m talking about real life not some silly movie.

        1. Don’t be so sure. Bath salts.

    2. Obviously, an island is where you want to be for the zombie apocalypse.

      Unless patient zero is on the island with you…

      1. I’m talking about real life not some silly, um, medical stuff.

    3. Not to defend DHS, but I’m starting to see a lot of disaster drills using zombie apocalypse as a theme. Keeps it lighthearted. Plus, there are common elements to all disasters so up to a point it doesn’t matter what the actual disaster is.

      Also Dead Island, FTW.

      1. That or they’re just keeping the highly probability of an actual zombie apocalypse under wraps.

        “Yeah, it’s just a joke, guys. Definitely no zombie apocalypse about to happen. No way any mutated disease got out that will turn you all into mindless, flesh-eating monsters.”

        1. That’s provided free of charge with every public education!

      2. True. It does seem to be a way for preppers to prep without coming across as nuts.

      3. Also Dead Island, FTW.

        My preference is for Whore Island.

      4. And, yet, simulating an alien invasion to stimulate the economy…

        Nope. I’m good with that.

  11. Homeland Security paid for first-responders to attend a conference at a California island resort that featured a simulated zombia apocalypse.

    What the hell is a “first responder”? Is that the same a different name for puppy-killer?

    1. what is a zombia? a female zombie?

        1. what is a zombia? a female zombie?
          A typo?

          I though it was a landlocked thugocracy in southern Africa.

    2. It has two meanings. 1) the trained personnel (police, fire, ems) who initially respond to the disaster. 2) EMS personnel certified at the First Responder level (ie, the level below EMT-B).

  12. Man shoots girlfriend after disagreement over the possibility of a zombie apocaylpse.

    1. Only a damn zombie would deny the possibility of a zombie apocalypse!

      1. if he thought she was a zombie, he’s doing it wrong.

  13. In Soviet Russia, “red fish” gets new meaning.

    Two fishermen lost in Siberia are suspected of killing and eating their friend in order to survive, it was claimed last night.

    A fourth man is also missing, leading to fears that he, too, was murdered and cannibalised.

    1. In Soviet Russia, men fish and clean YOU!

  14. “Detroit Councilwoman JoAnn Watson believes her city deserves a little consideration for delivering its votes to President Obama: Specifically, a bailout. “There ought to be a quid pro quo,” she said.”

    It’s great that vote-buying has come out of the shadows.

    Oh, and someone mentioned to me that they heard that JoAnn Watson blows sheep.

    1. I actually heard that she has sex with ewe.

      1. I’m pretty sure I heard she was a sheep fucker.

  15. W embraces immigration now that he doesn’t need to get elected. Fucker.

    “America can become a lawful society and a welcoming society at the same time,” Bush said, according to the Texas Tribune. “As our nation debates the proper course of action on immigration reform, I hope we do so with a benevolent spirit and keep in mind the contributions of immigrants.

    “Not only do immigrants help build the economy, they invigorate our soul,” Bush added.

    Bush has said one of his major regrets about his presidency is that he did not manage to pass immigration reform. In 2007, he hammered out a deal that would have put millions of illegal immigrants in the country on a lengthy path to citizenship. The measure died in the Senate when Bush couldn’t persuade enough members of his own party to vote to consider it.

    1. Ummm, Bush did try for a more rational immigration policy than Congressional Republicans would support. Bush got reelected with, IIRC, 44% of the votes of Hispanic votes.

      The rest of TEAM RED ought to heed Bush on how to keep Hispanics from going to TEAM BLUE en masse.

      1. “”Not only do immigrants help build the economy, they invigorate our soul” “self-deporting”

        1. Fucking server squirrels ate the “is greater than” symbol separating those two quotes above.

      2. Bush DID dick all for immigrants. Except build fences when he got beat up by his own party. He always TALKED a good game.

        1. “Bush DID dick all for immigrants. Except build fences when he got beat up by his own party. He always TALKED a good game.”

          “In 2007, he hammered out a deal that would have put millions of illegal immigrants in the country on a lengthy path to citizenship. The measure died in the Senate when Bush couldn’t persuade enough members of his own party to vote to consider it.”

          Seems like you’re having difficulty reading the article you cite.

      3. The rest of TEAM RED ought to heed Bush on how to keep Hispanics from going to TEAM BLUE en masse.

        Create a brand new trillion dollar entitlement and start a couple of pointless wars?

    2. So I can guess who’s cutting branches at the Bush ranch nowadays.

    3. I think he meant they embiggen our soul.

  16. Earlier today the House unanimously voted to tell the UN to fuck off regarding internet regulation treaties.

    1. Even a broken clock is occasionally right…

    2. If only we could just drop the last four words of that sentence.

    3. Yesterday the Senate rejected a signing a UN treaty on disabled persons’ rights (which are already covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act, but this would have made it all “international” and shit).

    4. Anyone every read Glory Road by Niven? He has a point with the UN gaining a hydraulic-empire style control of the web.

      1. Did Niven write Glory Road? I thought that was Heinlein.

        1. That was definitely Heinlein. I have a signed copy.

          1. You’re definitely right. I’m thinking of Destiny’s Road. Very different.


            1. On the other hand, I’ve never heard of a destiny hole.

            2. On the other hand, I’ve never heard of a destiny hole.

  17. Homeland Security paid for first-responders to attend a conference at a California island resort that featured a simulated zombia apocalypse.

    They brought the TSA?

    1. Zombie apocalypse, not cop-a-feel apocalypse.

  18. Ed Asma is still with us?

  19. NHL talks looking hopeful

    1. The what?

    2. they’ll fuck it up. they always do.

    3. Please God, let it be!

      Eh, I’ll believe it when I see it.

    4. I thought they disbanded like seven years ago?

    5. Surprised Aresen hasn’t commented yet.

    6. Have they figured out why the Jets won’t put Timmy in?

      1. Cause he sucks so hard it cracked his ribs?

        1. More like Mark Sanchez sucks so hard it cracked Timmy’s ribs.

          1. Was he sucking on Timmy’s mouth? I don’t see our Savior being down with that. But otherwise the sucking wouldn’t have hurt his ribs.

    7. Doctor Girlfriend has been experiencing severe NHL withdrawal. I hope they get their season going soon.

  20. “Ed Asner does the voice-over for a California Teachers Union video that depicts an animated rich guy urinating on the poor and otherwise oh-so-tastefully fans the flames of class warfare.”

    I don’t think any of us among their opposition are so tasteless as to depict the California Teachers Union doing something awful to California’s children, but, just for the record, what the California Teachers Union is doing to children really is awful.

  21. The next stop on the U.S. military’s world tour looks likely to be … [drum roll] … Mali!

    Sorry, but we gotta keep its uranium and gold deposits from falling into the hands of extremists.

  22. Guy hollers at cop for not wearing a seatbelt.

    Gets slapped with a bogus charge. Check out the comments. Most of the cops wanted more charges pressed.

    1. This is one of the more reasonable comments near the top.

      I can’t see how this officer is trying to act like he’s above the law. It’s very easy for us to forget about wearing our seatbelts in this job sometimes, especially when we’re bouncing from call to call.

      The Detroit PD has stated that there are certain circumstances where their officers are exempt from wearing seatbelts. If it turns out that this officer was not involved in any of these types of circumstances, his supervisors should simply remind him of the policy for his own safety. It should not amount to anything more than that.

      And yet he still says that if the guy was breaking the law, he should just be reminded of policy. Policy for police officers is considered above the law.

      1. And this the response that a reasonable comment gets you from other cops:

        Posted by joe hoffman on Tuesday, December 04, 2012 10:20 PM Pacific Report Abuse
        “One needs to reconsider their career choice”

        RealOscar- Gee, that’s exactly what many of us have been telling you for the past six months. The officers in your department would certainly be safer if you took a job as a janitor somewhere.

        “Writing him a ticket seems revenge for pointing out a basic responsibility”

        LOL. So now it’s revenge to enforce a law that was violated? You really are a troll. McClain could have just as easily recorded the patrol unit’s number and went to the station later that day to make his complaint. Instead, McClain chose to operate his vehicle in a reckless disregard for the safety of other motorists just to confront a police officer about some perceived offense, and idiots like you, Polfstsgt, and jcolter actually think this behavior is appropriate.

        You know, I worked with several officers in my previous department who talked the way you three do. These guys and girls were good for nothing whenever there was a bad call and they were a black cloud lingering over the good officers who wanted to do their jobs. There was a specific term I used when referring to these officers: Garbage. And I had no problem letting them know I felt this way.

        1. What a perfect example of everything that is wrong today with the police. Thanks, random scumbag cop!

        2. In how many professions can one get away with calling one’s coworkers “Garbage” to their faces without some sort of HR intervention?

          1. Shirley Manson?

            1. +1 Paranoid

        3. I like the threatening tone mixed with the term “peace officer” in this one.

          I’d love to see this moron try this in CO. While we have a seatbelt law, peace officers are exempted from it.

        4. The lack of self-awareness in this one is also quite choice.

          What a macaroon. Sounds like nutjob has an anger management issue.

    2. Question for anyone who lives in a state where texting or cell phone usage while driving is banned (because Florida fortunately isn’t there yet):

      Do cops in these states still drive around with open and running laptops like I’ve seen here in the south?

      1. Yes of course they do.

      2. I decided to calculate the accident rate from that the same way they calculate the accident rate from alcohol. Turns out, 100% of all police accidents are the result of laptop use.

        1. I love statistics!

      3. In MA, yes.

  23. # “There ought to be a quid pro quo,” she said.

    Refreshing honesty. Now, where’s my pitchfork?

  24. Detroit Councilwoman JoAnn Watson believes her city deserves a little consideration for delivering its votes to President Obama: Specifically, a bailout carpet bombing. “There ought to be a quid pro quo,” she said.


  25. I hear you’re mad about Brubeck
    I like you eyes I like him too
    He’s an artist a pioneer
    We’ve got to have some music on the new frontier

    1. Well I can’t wait ’til I move to the city
      ‘Til I finally make up my mind
      To learn design and study overseas

  26. A feminist take on Rhianna and Chris Brown.

    Criticizing Rihanna is the wrong thing to do, because she’s only human, and she’s doing what many abuse survivors (and many of us) have done ourselves. Criticizing her sends a message to abuse victims that being abused is their fault, and that they’ll be blamed for making “bad decisions” if they go back to an abuser. I wish Rihanna would make a different choice, obviously, but I don’t fault her for the choices she’s making.

    1. My battered body, my choice.

      1. Judging from past articles, the Feministe approved method for dealing with an abused person is:

        Step in and stop it if you see it, no matter how many times it’s happened before (note: only if you have a penis)

        Never tell the person they’re being an idiot, because it’s not your place (but keep risking your own safety by stepping in)

        Vote for anything that throws tax dollars at the situation.

  27. Conservative nativist assholes are talking up a study that says 57% of Mexican immigrants are on welfare.


    Please debunk.

    1. i’d say BS — http://www.cato.org/pubs/irb/irb_august2010.pdf

      it’s tough to qualify for any sort of public assistance as legal immigrant. there’s typically a 5 year bar. i dont’ think that’s changed, but i’d have to look into it.

    2. Haven’t read the article, but a good percentage of Mexican illegals are on Medicaid, if they’re counting that.

  28. I have a soft spot for the Queen Mum. She always did seem like a fun old bird.

    Complaining is rare in these letters. Both being bombed and catching a cold are “a bore.” To be fair, Elizabeth doesn’t seem to mean this frivolously, but rather in the spirit of the most old-fashioned British stereotypes about staid endurance

    I miss the old Britain where the worst thing you could do was appear to be more than inconvenienced by tragedy.

    1. Have you ever been to Britain? It’s not fun. In fact, it’s pretty much a bore.

      1. Just because London over Christmas is the most boring place I’ve ever been, doesn’t mean the people are bad. Horrible food, terrible weather, and, aside from a Boxing Day EPL match at Arsenal, nothing exciting at all. But I like Brits.

        1. I had some fun in Inverness, but that’s Scotland, and of course I was drinking a bottle of scotch, which probably helped. Drinking the whole bottle probably helped too. God, London is boring.

          1. Boring? Epi, it’s a shithole.

        2. My dad was stationed at USAF base outside of London for a year during the 80s. His verdict: the weather sucks and the women are ugly.

          1. Yep. After 3 trips, I agree.

          2. I actually like the weather. I guess it’s built in or something.

            Not to mention the silly-talking. Where my dad is from (SW), older people still call you “maid” instead of “miss.” And they sound like pirates when they do it!

            1. And they sound like pirates when they do it!

              A lot of pirates were Cornish, if I remember correctly…

    2. “I say, it appears I’ve lost a limb. Damned shame, that. Oh, well, what’s next on the agenda?”

      1. “What did you do in The War?”

        “Spent five years in Changi. Bit of a shower, really.”

    3. “Sorry, old boy, I hear you just buried your wife.”

      “Oh. Yes. Had to. Dead, you know.”

  29. My boyfriend has a hyphenated last name and it’s one of the things that attracted me to him.

    I need a girl this easy to please. For a day or two, anyway.

  30. she’s doing what many abuse survivors (and many of us) have done ourselves.

    Voting for Obama?

  31. Awesome. An an entire article written for people who have never looked at a feminist website.

    “Why are women scared to call themselves feminist?”

    Scared? Really?

    If you’ve given it a lot of thought and study and come to the conclusion that nope, this feminism thing really isn’t your bag, OK. Godspeed and I wish you well. Feminism is about respecting each other’s choices, after all, and as a feminist I respect yours.


    1. The commenters on the Jezebel article on last names were starting to talk like this–apparently they have a thing called “Choice Feminism.” I did not LOL.

      1. my wife took my name. she told a friend who protested to STFU and mind her own business and that her decisions said nothing about society at large.

      2. I have never heard of a feminist who respects any choices but the “right ones”. Look at how much shit that Yahoo CEO got for cutting her maternity leave short.

      3. Choice Feminism? Is that where they choose to ignore the cognitive dissonance?

    2. That one’s easy: if someone doesn’t agree with her, they didn’t give it enough “thought and study”

  32. Spitzer: In the interest of fairness, the capital gains tax should skyrocket upwards.

    I think Spitzer does an excellent job of proving that leftist ideology is inherently based on resentment, envy, and petty feelings of justice rather than sound economics.

    1. Also, the fact that Spitzer is insanely rich and his family’s money mostly comes from real estate adds to the fun.

      1. Come, you have to admit, he’s a fucking steamroller.

        1. Now you have me reminiscing about the Spitzer haiku thread. Good times.

          1. What ever happened to drafting haiku in the comments section, anyway?

            1. It’s gone out of style. Kind of like you, ProL.

              1. At least I wasn’t mentioned as an error in the webathon video. Unlike someone I know.

                ERROR! ERROR! STER-I-LIZE.

                1. Were you mentioned at all? I DON’T THINK SO.

                  1. Well, no. But some guy called Pro LiberTATE was.

                  2. Actual, Pro L was mentioned, but his handle was mispronounced.

                    1. my cake question was raised.

                    2. Did you ask what the best cake was? German chocolate or red velvet.

                    3. No, the correct pronunciation is ProLiberTAINT, so they got it right.

                    4. Not anymore. You forget for whom I work.

            2. Fleeting syllables
              Verse passes too quickly by
              Like joe, far too short

              1. Feminist complaints.
                Names hyphenated and long.
                Throatwobbler Mangrove.

            3. We’ve graduated to tanka now.

            4. Tulpa fucking whines like a broke dick coconut crab the entire goddamn thread and sucks the fun out of it, like everything else he gets near.

              1. That’s not a very good haiku, SF.

                1. Tulpa, haiku bitch
                  Broke-dick coconut crab whine
                  Vile vampire of fun

                  1. Who was Tulpa then?

                    1. I thought he always was, but I don’t see him in that thread. I haz a confuse.

                    2. Sorry for the confusion. Tulpa just to bitch constantly in the haiku threads that we weren’t writing “real” haikus. Completely missing the point of the exercise, as usual.

                    3. Haiku: perfection.
                      So lawful and orderly,
                      Let the form free you.

                    4. Sweet righteous anger,
                      Saccharin Man for Tulpa.
                      Blood sugar stable.

                    5. Wow, lonewacko and Dondero. Good times.

            1. That was a great week. A great week.

              1. One of my favorites. We did a bunch of Spitzerfreude posts at Urkobold then (scroll down to see the ones contemporary with his fall).

              2. Ah, I’d forgotten, Epi. Now, *that’s* gurning!

            2. The poster currently known as Palin’s Buttplug:

              shrike| 3.15.08 @ 11:24PM |#

              Sweet public frottage
              I stand rapt in amazement
              Prufrock, I am not.

              Quite the sick fuck, even then.

              1. Here’s one from Monkey Tuesday, long ago:

                It’s monkey bath time.
                A world full of bubbles.
                Damned dirty humans.

                1. About when did POTA stop being a gold mine for fun and frivolity, Pro’L Dib?

                  Also, it’s been ages since we have had a good Dune thread.

                  1. Never. I’ll never give up my damned dirty apes.

                    I agree. I’m too busy for this thread, but let’s do a total Dune thread tomorrow. One of my favorites was a mash-up with Sanford and Son. Perhaps the same could be done with some other sitcom?

                    1. I agree. I’m too busy for this thread, but let’s do a total Dune thread tomorrow.

                      I’ll take a rain check. It’s 01.30 and I need to hit the sack and I have to be up early. I’ll be at the Ministry of Health tomorrow getting my licensing finalized and touring a hospital in Kiev. I should have some posting time Fri.

                      Yes, I LOVE “The Litany Against Ugly”. Classic.

                    2. Me, too. My finest hour.

              2. But that was pre-registration and was probably spoofed. Shriek isn’t that sick or funny. I’m guessing that’s Nutrasweet’s handiwork.

          2. These are great!

            joe|3.14.08 @ 6:22PM|#

            I’d be like, look dood
            Do you really the sex?
            You know what I mean?

            Grumpy old man|3.14.08 @ 6:28PM|#

            “Do you really the sex?”

            Ha, ha! joe can’t count
            Typical dirty hippie
            Get a job, hippie!

          3. Whatever happened to Art-P.O.G.?

            1. Joy of old comments
              Unthreaded, and old friends, gone.
              Fucking trolls, still here.

            2. I miss Art.

              1. That’s The Art. Me, too.

                1. He was a good guy.

                2. Ah yes, “The Art”. I used to correct him on that. Good memory, Pro’L Dib.

  33. Can I say I am excited about today’s Championship results?

    1. Did Luiz score an own goal? Watched Celtic game instead.

      1. No, It was even more Schadenfreude-tastic.

  34. I’ll just leave this here.

    On a Tumblr called The Hawkeye Initiative, a group of comics fans and artists have taken a fresh look at the issue, and the often spine-wrenching drawings of superheroines, by simply substituting a new character in their place: the bow-wielding superhero and Avenger Hawkeye.

    1. Congratulations on finding the stupidest thing of the day, Brett. Usually the folks who post Jezebel articles win, but you take the cake today.

      1. Its okay that the Hawkeye posing turned you on. I’m not going to judge you any worse than I already have.

        1. I don’t care if you judge me! I like what I like!

  35. American death-metal singer is indicted on manslaughter charges in the Czech Republic for the death of a fan who was thrown back into the crowd after rushing the state. According to the article:

    He spent over a month in Pankr?c Prison before returning to his homestate of Virginia. After this week’s indictment, he’ll have to cut Lamb of God’s tour short and return to the Czech Republic for trial, facing up to ten years behind bars if convicted.

    My question is this: what if, now that he’s on US soil, he simply declined to appear for his trial in Prague? Would he be extradited?

    1. Blythe allegedly pushed him back into the crowd, causing the fan to sustain injuries from which he would later die.

      I bet that dead fan would not want the prosecutor to press charges and was fully expecting to be thrown back into the mob.

    2. My question is this: what if, now that he’s on US soil, he simply declined to appear for his trial in Prague? Would he be extradited?

      Yes. The US has an extradition treaty with Czech-sylvania.

      1. Yes. The US has an extradition treaty with Czech-sylvania.

        Well that blows. All I know is that if I were ever charged with a serious crime in another country and then allowed to leave until the trial, my ass would be GONE. And on a rock star’s salary, I’m sure you could choose any number of nice places to live that wouldn’t extradite you to Prague.

  36. “For the last time, the Excelsior is filled with non-flamable helium!”

    California-based Aeros Corporation has created a prototype of its new breed of variable buoyancy aircraft and expects the vehicle to be finished before the end of 2012.

      1. People get stupid about hydrogen. My last job, we had a project to passivate stainless steel by filling the tubes we were welding on with hydrogen, supplied in 12 packs. At some point, somebody in the org heard hydrogen and freaked the fuck out. The project stalled out indefinitely.

        In the meantime, I’m working on bringing in a 4 inch natural gas line to another plant, and having the pressure bumped up so we can get more MCF out of the line. Nobody cares. Which is more dangerous, bottled hydrogen or a high pressure 4 inch natural gas line? Derp.

    1. There’s your bomber right there, Beardsly McTurbanhead!

  37. Woman featured in Tampa Bay Times story about her case of “persistent genital arousal disorder”, committs suicide.

    I don’t think it’s fair to blame the paper, which a lot of people are doing.

    1. The story was also shared on a support group for women with persistent genital arousal disorder and many of the women responded. (For more information on the support group go to http://www.psas-support.com.)

      Anyone else going straight to hell thinking what I’m thinking?

    2. I posted this on the AM links

  38. A shiny gold doubloon to the first person to explain to me what
    this picture has to do with the message at the bottom.

    Cause I’m not getting it.

    Your tax dollars at work (if you’re Canadian).

    1. First of all, what’s she doing in the men’s? And isn’t pretty empty for the 3rd period of a hockey game?

    2. Why is there a beer bottle on the urinal in background?

      1. Really? People leave them there all the time.

    3. Dude on the left is making a really creeptastic face

      1. That’s what NutraSweet looks like all the time.

        1. And you’re the chick, right? “Ugh, where did I get this horrible outfit? Why are there bows printed on my skirt?” (in valley girl voice)

          1. He’s always leering at me. But I would never wear that skirt, it’s not remotely slutty enough for me.

            1. Too high-waisted? Or just not short enough?

        2. It’s the only face I have, shitbird. What’s your excuse?

      2. The whole thing is creepy. She’s obviously trying to leave, which would make it rape no matter how drunk she was. The whole thing is weird.

        1. Right. And there’s two dudes obviously like, stopping her from leaving. And frankly I think the copy is very bad–it implies that sex is never sexual assault. It is, in fact, still sex when she’s wasted–it’s just also sexual assault. Now you’re going to get dicks being like “it wasn’t rape, it was sex! because my penis went in her vajayjay and that’s sex!”

          1. You obviously just aren’t using the right kind of logic, probably because of your sexist education.

            Rape is not sex ? it’s violence. If you were hit over the head with a frying pan, would you call that cooking?

            Clearer now?

    4. Many people here probably wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for drunk women. And men, for that matter.

      It’s probably going to turn out that humanity’s success at world conquest is primarily attributable to drunken sex.

  39. Don Quixote, call your office.

    In a bid to help shape the inexorable march toward more efficient wind power, General Electric Power and Water is developing a new fabric-covered wind turbine blade which promises to cut the cost of wind turbine manufacture significantly, while also allowing a larger blade size, and facilitating easier transportation.

    1. 1900s tech FTW. I once helped re-skin a classic fabric covered airplane. The new stuff heat shrinks right in, no “dope” required. Which is good for your lungs, and considerably less flammabe.

  40. “Male fertility under ‘threat'”

    Why is fewer sperm always implied to be a bad thing? Less ‘stains’ (babies) to vacuum out is a good thing. I never get why people try to use sperm as a reason to discourage me from doing something.

    1. I posted that in the telethon thread with the thinking that it could be an opportunity to American and Canadian men to help infertile French couples.

  41. Thanks Dave for playing it straight, not pretentious like Jarrett or show-offy as per Korea.
    I will now take five and burn one or two in your honour.
    Then of course all I’ll want to do after is jam.

  42. Apologies if this was already posted yesterday:

    White male victimhood.

    When your philosophy?reinforced over and over by other men who are just as scared as you?dictates that men are the real victims and women are the oppressors, the only surefire escape is retreat into traditionalist behavior models where everyone “knows their place.” Then everything will be okay again. Then we’ll have a president who “looks like a president.” But believe that all you want?we can never go back. You can’t get the toothpaste back in the tube.

    And the fact that there’s metaphorical toothpaste fucking everywhere is profoundly frightening to a lot of men, whether they realize it or not. That anxiety seems to be so instinctual, it’s beginning to seep out of the more absurd fringes of the blogosphere and into the thinking of otherwise presumably reasonable men. Mainstream manhood is starting to look a little shaky.

    You silly little sexists and racists. All your complaints are just because you’re sexist and racist. Even if you don’t know it.

  43. That anxiety seems to be so instinctual, it’s beginning to seep out of the more absurd fringes of the blogosphere and into the thinking of otherwise presumably reasonable men.

    Why in the name of Goatfucking Jeezis do you persist in spamming us with this boring moronic drivel?

    1. Its funny. And sad. These people successfully push tons of legislation every year. Doesn’t hurt to keep tabs on them. You never bitch about me posting the stupid shit cops say. Why is this different?

  44. Texas secessionists now have a PAC.

    TNM president Daniel Miller said the TNM-PAC was formed “for the purpose of supporting and endorsing candidates at all levels that are in-line with the mission, vision and values of the Texas Nationalist Movement.”

  45. Why is this different?

    Because it’s boring. Boring boring boring.

    I am not in college. I have no children in college. I don’t give a shit what idiotic thoughtcrimes they are inventing in Suppression Studies 401 these days. Those morons will be mooning about the good old days of gender solidarity while working in the shoe department at Walmart to pay off their student loans, and it won’t mean anything to me.


    1. I don’t give a shit what idiotic thoughtcrimes they are inventing in Suppression Studies 401 these days.

      You will when they get signed into law.

      and it won’t mean anything to me.

      Not to belabor the obvious, but it’s P.M. links, not P.Brooks links.

  46. This is pretty fantastic:


    “Robber Reports Robbery: Someone Stole His Stolen Stuff”

    complete with video. Oh S?o Paulo, you so crazy.

  47. (Let’s try this again – was the accent that made it spammy?)

    This is pretty fantastic:


    “Robber Reports Robbery: Someone Stole His Stolen Stuff”

    complete with video. Oh Sao Paulo, you so crazy.

  48. when they get signed into law.

    When what gets signed into law? More “self-image crimes”?

    And yes, you are completely correct, it’s P.M. links, not P.Brooks links.

    So sorry.

    1. When what gets signed into law? More “self-image crimes”?

      Thought crimes, among others. Where do you think the hate crime laws came from? They were bred by these idiots in “Suppression Studies 401”. It’s logical to want to know their motivations and rationalizations. Lets you know what’s coming. Who do you think made a-cup porn actresses illegal in Australia? Who do you think set up the kangaroo sexual assault courts in colleges here in the U.S.? These people were all those idiots in “Suppression Studies 401”. Knowing how they think allows you to predict the new shit coming down the pipe.

      And believe me, there is more shit coming down that pipe.

      1. Who do you think made a-cup porn actresses illegal in Australia? Who do you think set up the kangaroo sexual assault courts in colleges here in the U.S.?

        We do….We do!

  49. A new IMF study touts tax hikes and warns against budget cuts for governments seeking to dig themselves out of a hole, so get ready for a thorough mugging.

    Perusing through the study, I was wondering if the “economists” that came up with these results really think that their intended audience is irremediably stupid.

    Just for starters, what were they expecting to find when the metric they’re looking at is GDP which includes (no surprise there) government spending?

    This is nothing more than eye candy for Keynesian flakes.

  50. Sounds like a heclk of a plan to me.


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