Orc Rogue Elected to Maine State Senate

At last, a politician honest about tendency to backstab people

It's true that the United States Senate now has an unprecedented number of women and its first lesbian member, but what about the silent plight of America's other minority: citizens who violently ravage video game villages as fantasy creatures of death and destruction?

Well, yesterday was also a victory for video-game lovers everywhere. Maine Democratic state senatorial candidate, Colleen Lachowicz, who doubles as the fictional Orc, "Santiaga," in the popular online video game World of Warcraft, won her race and overcame attack ads alleging that her video game hobby was inappropriate. "My heartfelt congratulations, Santiaga. I hope (and I really believe) that you will perform as good in your new office as you have in your duties as a Rogue of the Horde," wrote one relieved supporter.