Sandy's Death Count, Jill Stein Arrested Again, Rhode Island Sues Curt Schilling: P.M. Links

• Sandy's North American death toll stands at 82 this morning and may grow as rescuers search through coastal towns.

• Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein was arrested again, this time while trying to deliver supplies to activists attempting a blockade of Keystone XL pipeline construction in Texas.
• Argentina has lowered its voting age to 16, in line with South American countries Brazil and Ecuador. Critics argue the president is trying to appeal to the youth vote as her popularity drops.
• A Massachusetts man who plotted terrorist attacks (with, of course, the secret help of federal agents as a sting) has been sentenced to 17 years in prison.
• Imprisoning musicians for offending the sensibilities of Christians isn't just for Russians: Poland is doing it, too.
• Rhode Island is suing Curt Schilling and the former head of its own redevelopment corporation over the $75 million loan guarantee the state gave to Schilling's now-bankrupt video game company.

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Comments

[Archduke Pantsfan]

That's just nutty!

[Rich]

Anonbot?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein was arrested again, this time while trying to deliver supplies to activists attempting a blockade of Keystone XL pipeline construction in Texas.

She was trying to deliver supplies to the Obama Administration?

[Tim]

+ $1 per gallon

[Paul.]

Standing ovation.

[A Serious Man]

Forbes lists people who could write and direct the next Star Wars movie.

And first!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

And first!

Based on what measure?

[A Serious Man]

To post a link.

[Fist of Etiquette]

We've been humiliated!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Tsk tsk tsk...

Though dang, Fisty was fast today. I F5ed and by the time I clicked on leave a comment he and Pantsfan had comments.

[Fist of Etiquette]

If you want to call what Pantsfan did a comment. THOSE GRAPES LOOKED SOUR ANYWAY.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

I SAID GOOD DAY SIR

[Doktor Kapitalism]

"Good facsimile thereof"

Happy?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Seldom if ever.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Me too. The Three Stooges always cheer me up, though.

[Episiarch]

Dude, you have got to stop doing that. You just encourage FoE, and as we all know that's just about the worst thing anyone can do.

[T o n y]

As long as it's not that Lucas guy.

[Gojira]

I agree completely with Tony.

I just wanted to be able to say that once.

[Episiarch]

I agree completely with JJ.

I just wanted to be able to say that once.

[Gojira]

What's the matter, agreeing with ProL on every single subject ever broached not enough for you?

[Episiarch]

If I disagree with him he beats me.

(wipes tear, flinches)

[Gojira]

So I take it you'll be preaching the Gospel of the Importance of Voting then?

[Episiarch]

He's at the store buying more whiskey so I can do what I want for now.

[Gojira]

...so I can do what I want for now.

Those poor, poor kittens...

[Episiarch]

You have no right to judge me!

[The Craig]

Don't agree just yet. Tony probably supports a government takeover of Star Wars.

[T o n y]

I think George Lucas and James Cameron should direct each other's movies.

[Alack]

I'd watch it.

[C. Anacreon]

They are already planning a remake of The Smurfs. Using what they are both best at, Lucas for rebel battles and Cameron for communities of blue characters.

[Groovus Maximus]

Good SOD! Not again...

[Francisco d Anconia]

He also supported the Empire.

[The Craig]

I've heard him say Emperor Obama several times.

[C. Anacreon]

I still don't know what "Han shoots first" means.

[Groovus Maximus]

Anacreon, I really hope you're joking...

If you are, EPIC TROLL! -)))

[A Serious Man]

Who would be worse: Michael Bay or M. Night Shyamalan?

[Episiarch]

Both?

[Zeb]

Michael Bay, definitely. Shyamalan's movies are kind of stupid, but he does have some style as a film maker.

[$park?]

Come on, Shyamalan's endings would have you constantly wondering why the first 1:20 of a movie didn't have anything to do with the final :10.

[Zeb]

I'm thinking mostly visually here.

[T o n y]

Luke Skywalker was dead the whole time.

The Star Wars galaxy is actually just a low-tech enclave in a bigger galaxy.

Obnoxious cartoon character everybody hates is the one responsible for setting into motion galactic civil war. Oh wait.

[Tim]

They could restore the controversial and suppressed "recharge" scene in episode VI where 3PO plugs into R2 for a boost.

[hotsy totsy]

Or Luke wakes up and it was all a dream.

[alittlesense]

Eewwww. The American Family Association will have something to say about that.

[T o n y]

That's a good one, a question for the ages really.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

No Joss Whedon?

[Francisco d Anconia]

His politics are really starting to piss me off lately.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Lately? He's always been a goony-ass liberal nerd.

[Rights-Minimalist Autocrat]

I would say they should let JJ Abrams turn Star Wars into a Tom and Jerry cartoon the way he did with Star Trek, but Lucas already did that with Jar Jar Binks.

[A Serious Man]

It would be hysterical if Abrams, who turned Star Trek into a Star Wars clone (loud colorful action supplants coherent plot and themes) turned Star Wars into a Star Trek clone (action is secondary to cerebral questions about nature and philosophy). Just to fuck with the fanboys.

[Episiarch]

I don't think Abrams is really capable of doing that. He'd end up turning Star Wars into Lost.

[BakedPenguin]

Revolution - Tatooine.

[Tim]

Spoiler: Tatooine is Earth after 5,000 years of global warming. The Huts are devolved Al Gore clones.

[Episiarch]

Tim, if I were the producer I'd hire you to write this on the spot.

[rac3rx]

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

[rac3rx]

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

[nicole]

coherent plot and themes

I'm sorry, is there some vast secondary Star Trek canon that I missed?

[A Serious Man]

Granted the series has a mixed record, but Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan epitomizes the franchise in that it deals more with characterizations (Kirk growing old, Khan seeking revenge) than it does with colorful action and spectacle.

And the best TOS, TNG, and DS9 episodes had solid themes to build around.

[Episiarch]

YOU TAKE THAT BACK

[nicole]

I'm just mad about the mascot thing.

[Groovus Maximus]

If its any consolation, I've never MALE GAZE'd, Epi, nicole.

[Tim]

Look, we don't give you wardrobe tips, you don't get to talk about scifi. Savvy?

[nicole]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never said I didn't like Star Trek. I also never said I watch it sober.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

"Star Trek clone (action is secondary to cerebral questions about nature and philosophy)"

Am I the only one who philosophized about the nature of good and evil, specifically tactics for the former defending against the latter, watching the 2009 movie?

And this was before I read Rand!

No? Well, that's just me.

[Fist of Etiquette]

RE-BOOT! RE-BOOT! RE-BOOT!

[Tim]

Obama can direct it with his new Department of Entertainments. It will be a blockbuster but also laced with messages about caring, sharing and eating space vegetables in greater amounts.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hopefully he works in where he killed Darth Laden.

[Tim]

and he already has a wookie on staff.

[Francisco d Anconia]

+1 Ewok

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Slate: Why Chris Nolan should not direct Star Wars

[A Serious Man]

I kind of agree, Star Wars is not really all that different from straight fantasy since none of it is grounded in the real world like the Batman comics were or Inception. So I don't think it would be Nolan's forte, although he's a heck of a screenwriter.

What we need is a balance between the cynicism of Nolan and the sappy, shoe-horned sentimentality of Spielberg.

[$park?]

I'd like to see it done by the Wachowskis. For the lulz.

[The Hammer]

Am I the only one who wants to see the Coen Brothers direct it?

[Eduard van Haalen]

No. There is another. Me.

[Brett L]

M Night Shyamalan? Are you fucking kidding me? Why don't they put fucking Michael Bay on the list at that point.

[Lisa]

JJ Abrams would be the worst to direct. The movie would be decent, at best, so everyone would say it's great and never shut up about it. (The problem with sci fi fans is that they don't know art...so anything passable is considered a masterpiece. There is a possibility that I'm just an elitist. But that would mean that Battlestar Gallactica isn't a glorified soap opera and sci fi fanboys actually have excellent taste... and neither of those things seem likely to me)

[Lisa]

Here are my suggestions for writer/director of the next Star Wars movie:

Michael Mann (To see what a realistic sci fi movie looks like)

David Lynch (To see if he could handle such a formulaic franchise and to laugh at the results)

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Early

[Archduke Pantsfan]

New Mexico police officer 10 year old with a 50,000 volt Taser gun at school career day

STOP RESISTING A CAREER IN LAW ENFORCEMENT!

[hamilton]

Yesterday called.

[Gojira]

Does it want it's joke back?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

It's new to me, dammit!

[BakedPenguin]

"I'm from Canada and they think I'm slow, eh?"

[Rich]

He allegedly asked a group of students which one would like to clean his patrol unit.

Ah, HA!! A pedophile, too!!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Conan O'Brien's list of Star Wars VII posters
http://teamcoco.com/content/di.....ii-posters

[A Serious Man]

When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the mousketeer. #DisneyStarWarsLines

[Episiarch]

Will I ever be a real Jedi, Geppetto-wan?

[Groovus Maximus]

When the bell rings, you will get your wings. Red wings, that is.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Infographic: How many people have ever been born?

[Doktor Kapitalism]

I'm guessing this is an overpopulation scare chart.

[Rich]

OK. How many people have ever been *born again*?

[Zeb]

Interesting. That is something I have often wondered about. Not a whole lot of information, there, though.

[Fist of Etiquette]

About half. Or all of them, depending on your point of view.

[Rich]

About half.

My, Fist, aren't *we* the optimist today!

[C. Anacreon]

I recall an old Ripley's Believe it or Not cartoon called "The Marching Chinese," from the 60s. It said if all the people in China lined up, four abreast, and started marching past a single point, they would never finish even if they marched forever and ever. And they weren't even up to a billion then.

[Groovus Maximus]

Huh. I'll have search for that. And Jack Palance was the best host of Ripley's Believe it or Not. His daughter Holly was also quite striking.

[hotsy totsy]

Because people in the middle of the line would be fucking like crazy and some women further up would give birth and nurse and those kids would grow up and..move to the back of the line and keep marching.

Though how long it would take to move to the BACK of the line, having sex along the way, getting pregnant, and starting all over again.

Plus who would be feeding all these marching people? Could they stop to go to the bathroom? What are the logistics of having sex while marching four abreast?

Maybe Woody Allen could direct the movie.

[hotsy totsy]

So every one of us could have had 15 past lives!

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Meet a kitty who opens a door for some puppies

[$park?]

Concrete proof that dogs are fucking useless and cats kick ass.

[Corning]

Thinks dogs can do:

Hunt, track, herd live stock, protect, war.

Things cats can do:

Open doors for puppies.

Fuck it cats win...cuz that is so damn cute!!!

[rac3rx]

Cats are great, if you like keeping open boxes of shit in your house.

[rac3rx]

Cats are great, if you like keeping open boxes of shit in your house.

[rac3rx]

And both are better than squirrels...

[Groovus Maximus]

Indeed, they are really giving you fits, aren't they? -)))

[cmace]

Now teach them to close the door.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Where's the cat when a burglar opens the door?

[Brett L]

The best part of the video is the 45 seconds the cat spends looking at the lady filming like, "why don't you just open the fucking door?"

[Groovus Maximus]

KITTY!!!!

[Ted S.]

Cat Proximity

[Fist of Etiquette]

Imprisoning musicians for offending the sensibilities of Christians isn't just for Russians: Poland is doing it, too.

That War on Christians just got tougher. To sell.

[Zeb]

But Old Mexican assured us that they really are hooligans, so it's all good.

[OldMexican]

Re: Zeb,

But Old Mexican assured us that they really are hooligans, so it's all good.

You are certainly engaging in calumny, sir!

[Gojira]

That's Poland. The War on Christians active front is here in the godless USA (United States of Atheism).

[Jesus H. Christ]

I didn't see the /sarc so I'm assuming you are serious. Coming from an atheist, I am about to be bombarded with Christian imagery from every direction for the next 2 months, then shortly again at Easter.

If there's a war on christians, the christians are winning.

[Gojira]

Here, I'll help you dust that chip off your shoulder ; D

I'm an Buddhist-leaning agnostic dude.

[Jesus H. Christ]

No chip. When Christians whine about being under attack in the US it just strikes me as absurd. In a way, it's similar to how the Left blames the current state of the Union on libertarians. You know, the majority, the people in charge blaming their problems on a largely powerless minority.

[Gojira]

Several of my close friends are fundies (long story), and the way they look at it is, the minority is not powerless due to the court system. They don't have to convince a majority of people, they only have to convince a panel of judges.

The way they look at it, if the majority actually ruled, we'd have prayer in schools, tablets of the 10 Commandments in every state house and court room, on and on.

I'm not saying I agree with them, just telling you their view on the subject.

[Gojira]

I personally think this line of thought is dangerously close to early Nazi philosophy, in which they posited that courts and "rule of law" were the creation of and refuge for dangerous Jews. They were not a part of the community, but rather always outside of it, so in order to get their way, they invented the idea of equality under the law.

This belief goes on to assert that the source of actual authority is laws arising naturally from the organic community (the volk), membership in that community being based on shared blood. They viewed the imposition of an outside supposedly neutral legal system as being a mere ploy by dangerous, anti-volkish elements to be able to give themselves a means of influencing the larger community which they were distinct from (a "tail wagging the dog" conspiracy).

You can see the parallels.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Yes, I see your point.

I have a "Constitutional Honesty Litmus Test". It's really simple. If a person can't find anything in the US Constitution they don't like, they have not been honest with you or perhaps themselves. It's amazing the number of people on the hard right and left fail this test.

By "don't like" I mean an issue where they admit the proper interpretation of the US Constitution goes against how they think things should be. For example, I don't think the Federal government should have the power to tax, but the Constitution grants them that. My ideology in this case is clearly at odds with the Constitution. I'm willing to admit it. Ask any nanny state shithead about the Second Amendment and you'll get a bunch of hemming and hawing about how it's only for a militia, and babies burning in the streets, etc. They will never admit that their ideology is at odds with the Constitution, or very few will admit it. Intellectual honesty is hard to come by.

[Francisco d Anconia]

The way they look at it, if the majority actually ruled, we'd have prayer in schools, tablets of the 10 Commandments in every state house and court room, on and on.

All I can say is thank Zod we live in a Constitutional Republic instead of a Democracy.

Sorta.

[hotsy totsy]

I thought about 70% of the US was Christian. No?

[hotsy totsy]

The problem is that Fundamentalists co-opt the meaning of Christian. They are, in fact, a tiny minority of Christians.

[T]

Just remember it's mostly co-opted paganism and you'll be fine.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Why do you care?

I'm not what you'd call a believer and I love Christmas.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

New Years: the atheist Christmas?

I could see it.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Festivus.

[Jesus H. Christ]

I too like Christmas. It's hearing the boot complain that the crushed ants are leaving stains that bugs me.

[Francisco d Anconia]

I'm sick of both sides bitching about how the other side should be just like them.

The tolerant left and the turn the other cheek right...

[generic Brand]

Speaking of imprisoned musicians, did anyone watch South Park last night? A ton of great jabs at the Lance Armstrong shit, Pussy Riot, breast cancer month... Fuck Cause-o-the-day people

[Eduard van Haalen]

Do they still show episodes for free?

[Francisco d Anconia]

STANdground!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

"Argentina has lowered its voting age to 16"

I can't necessarily say that giving the voter to younger individuals is a good idea, but 18 (or 21 as the case may be) is a pretty arbitrary boundary. Here's what I propose:

Create a new classification between child and adult (a la Oceania: http://oceania.org/const/const.html#i6) that would range from 15 to 18 yoa, and would get 0.1 or 0.5 of a vote.

[Warty]

Does that mean I would get .1 to .5 of the normal jail time for statutory rape, then? Otherwise, NO DEAL.

[Episiarch]

Does it mean 16 and 17 year olds can go on that Argentinian TV show?

[Warty]

You assume they're not already. This one looks 16 to me.

[Episiarch]

Jesus Christ.

[Jesus H. Christ]

I'm busy!!!

Mutters to self "La Noche del Domingo, where have you been all my life?"

[hotsy totsy]

That Gerardo Sofavich guy looks about 80 though.

Belen only looks 15 compared to him. Otherwise, probably 30.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

tl;dw

[Warty]

Enjoy manning that glory hole tonight, fag.

[Brett L]

Your youtube doesn't come with a slider where you can skip ahead? Are you using IE 5?

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Chrome, and I'm allegedly studying. To answer Warty's question above, I'll be in my room, studying, till the wee hours.

But don't let me stop you from having your fun...

[Doktor Kapitalism]

I say nay. Of course, I like the idea of similar age laws (do they call them Romeo and Juliet laws? I feel like I've seen that somewhere) to prevent serious issues with, par example, a 14 and eight month year old and a 15 and ten month year old getting charged for breaking the law.

[Jerry on the road]

They should be allowed to vote when they start paying taxes.

[Groovus Maximus]

POLL TAX!!!!

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Well, in my libertopia fantasy, there are no taxes. With FairTax (not my favorite) you could pull this off, though.

[protefeed]

You should make it a fractional ratio between whole numbers, such as 3/5, for the sake of consistency.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

1/10th & 1/2

[Jerry on the road]

Trick-or-treat children given cocaine in Oldham.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Well that's going to have negative repercussions.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I call bullshite on that story.

[A Serious Man]

Dear Prudence: My girlfriend claims she broke up with me for being too good-looking for her.

[Episiarch]

Dude, that has happened to me so many times.

[Warty]

I always get dumped because I have too much money, personally.

[Gojira]

For purposes of this comment, "money" = "dingleberries".

[Warty]

SO WHAT???

[Groovus Maximus]

Ah, you finally were awarded that PhD?

[Warty]

I have a terminal degree in Dickish Studies, thank you very much.

[Groovus Maximus]

You're certainly terminal, I agree. -)))

I didn't know you were fluent in Dick. I think you just audited the classes because you're poor and pathetic.

[$park?]

I don't know about fluent. Do you gain fluency in Dick just by having one in your mouth alot?

[Episiarch]

That's such a bullshit degree. I have an advanced degree in dick-nology!

[Groovus Maximus]

Is that why you were naked with that bowl of lime jello?

[Warty]

Please. We dicktheorists are the innovators in the field of gickishness. You petty little dicknologists are just riding our coattails trying to make a dickbuck with stupid little dickgadgets.

[Episiarch]

Are you telling me that I don't know dick? If anybody knows how to build a ship out of dicks it is me!

[Jerry on the road]

Does your dicklet run dickdroid?

[db]

For me, it's always my "uncomcortably large" penis.

[OldMexican]

Re: A serious Man,

Dear Prudence: My girlfriend claims she broke up with me for being too good-looking for her.

Just "good-looking" or "ridiculously good-looking"?

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Halloween Highlights.

[A Serious Man]

No hot girls in slutty costumes? I am disappoint.

[The Craig]

Oh, I won't click then.

[protefeed]

I'm already in (very slight) trouble with the GF for ogling the hundreds if not thousands of really hot babes in costumes in Waikiki last night.

[Rich]

Photos or it didn't happen.

[Matrix]

Meth-head burglar is suing 90 year old homeowner he shot.

Wow... just... wow...

[$park?]

But don't even try to argue that there's a problem with the system that would allow this.

[Rich]

The saddest part:

"I'll just countersue him then. That's what I'll need to do."

[db]

He should sue the gun manufacturer too, because the gun made him do it.

[Warty]

Fucking Polish Christfags. Free Behemoth.

[BakedPenguin]

And Varg Vikernes, while they're at it.

[T]

He was paroled in '09.

[Trespassers W]

I think I saw them open for Dimmu Borgir.

[Rich]

Careful, Reason. That Screaming Jemima in the LowerMyBills ad is RACIST!

[Tim]

Gee I don't get those ads, the internet must know you're a broke spendthrift.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Sounds as though you're bluffing.

[Rich]

I think it's because the internet must know I'm interested in pancakes.

[Groovus Maximus]

Is that what they are calling it these days?

[Rich]

With "maple syrup". 😉

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Banger rally: Who will be crowned Mr. Sausage?

[Rich]

For time-challenged readers, the meat of the article: The Sausage Flopometer.

[Killazontherun]

She was such a nice girl until she left the plantation.

The Mighty Have Fallen: How Stacey Dash Went From Beloved Banger To Social Pariah

Money Quote: Then it all fell apart when she took to twitter to support Mitt Romney and disown her heritage to boot. Smooth move, Stacey. Sigh, you were the greatest.

[Zeb]

Your link just goes to lewrockwell.com.

[Big 'Orra]

Here's a good link...

...and her mighty ones seem to be holding up just fine!

[Killazontherun]

That's the one. And weird that the fill in for that tag went to Rockwell.

[Jordan]

The hell is a "banger"? And how do we have two posts using that same word in completely different contexts right next to each other? The only "banger" I know of is gangbanger.

[Groovus Maximus]

"Banger" is a Britishism for "breakfast sausage."

[Killazontherun]

That's an odd way of describing Stacy Dash. I would say she is more of a fish taco I wished to be served on top of my face and not a breakfast sausage at all.

[A Serious Man]

Who wants a banger in the mouth?

[Ted S.]

Bangeroos

[Mike M.]

Joe Biden "jokes" that people are going to elect him president in 2016.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That would be quite a punchline.

[Rich]

God love ya, Joe.

[Restoras]

President of what? Jakkassastahn?

[Cytotoxic]

AKA American in a decade.

[Alack]

I had a 5 year old trick-or-treater last night dressed up a "sexy" ninja turtle. Both her parents were with her, beaming with pride.

I fucking hate people sometimes.

[Warty]

PICS OR GTFO

[Alack]

Imagine this mixed with this, and you'll get pretty close.

[Warty]

Thank you. Here, have some more Argentine TV as a reward.

[Brett L]

When I am God Emperor, these people will fail the gom jabbar.

[Francisco d Anconia]

Why is everyone referencing that movie recently?

[Groovus Maximus]

What movie, FdA? I think you need help, man. Seriously.

And don't blame Teh Drugz, either. I know better.

[Doktor Kapitalism]

Movie? Movie? MOVIE?

You monster.

[rac3rx]

Aw hell...

[Episiarch]

Did you bang the mom or not? Your storytelling skills need work.

[Alack]

Er, right, the mom. Of course it was the mom I banged.

[Episiarch]

Dude, if you had a threesome with both parents, give us the story. Why is this like pulling teeth? Between you and Hyperion...

[Alack]

Me and the dad went to town on some high school chick dressed as Finn from Adventure Time. She refused to take off the hat, though, and kept shouting "Algebraic", and the ninja turtle's dad kept on saying something about how great it was to be with a "cute little rabbit". Guess he's never seen the show.

[Episiarch]

OK, Hyperion: this is how it's done.

[Killazontherun]

He should have never called his story telling abilities epic. It is his meme to never outlive.

[Episiarch]

We all have our memes to bear.

[Restoras]

You only hate people sometimes? What are you a fucking saint or something? I hate them all the time. People suck.

[Alack]

Most of the time my sociopathic narcissism leads me to forget that other people exist as things other than tools in my quest for self-glorification. But then, when they do things that I wouldn't command and I can find no rational basis for, I'm forced to stoop to seething hatred until I can find something productive to do.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Should I stay with my girlfriend, or sow my wild oats first?

The question: I'm a guy who loves his girlfriend, but that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to other women. I'm in my 20s and making good money. Is it a bad idea to sow my wild oats now, before I'm fully committed?

[Francisco d Anconia]

If ya gotta ask...

[Brett L]

Here's what you do, junior. Next time she's in the shower, steal your balls back from her purse and then tell her you "need some space". Then, when she's fucking her way through your friends, and you're taking fatties home from bars at closing time, you'll at least have your balls.

[Groovus Maximus]

Oh my! Patchouli Poisoning Syndrome has reached it final stage. Now your penis is going to turn green and fall off, Brett.

I'm sorry.

The good news your testicles will remain intact, but will swell and turn blue.

[Brett L]

I'm not saying this happened to me. It just seems like the type of guy who consults an advice columnist on whether or not to sow wild oats probably doesn't have the necessary personality to pull it off.

[Killazontherun]

He should find a substitute activity to get his mind off of fucking other women like flashing his dick at random strangers. The humiliation and shame from doing that will deflate his ego enough to be satisfied with monogamy.

[Lisa]

"sow my wild oats now, before I'm fully committed"

Just say "brb honey, sowing my wild oats!" She'll sit politely at home and twiddle her thumbs until you're done having sex with lots of other women and ready to come home to her, assuming she's insane.

[nicole]

Oh my holy lord is it what I have been waiting for: the 90 days 90 reasons piece ABOUT THE FUCKING DRUG WAR.

[Episiarch]

No one respond to nicole! She said bad things about Star Trek!

[Alack]

I still don't get the circle-jerking over the post-scarcity bullshit that is TNG.

[nicole]

WHO SAID IT WAS BAD?!?

[Episiarch]

Oh, don't you pretend you weren't saying that. By implying that many Star Trek plots are stupid, incoherent deus ex machina messes solved through technobabble, you were implicitly saying that about 75% of Star Trek is pretty crappy. That's exactly what you said, especially after I manslated it.

[Groovus Maximus]

I confirm this mansplation. In fact, it's a word for word manslation.

[Episiarch]

Like you even know how to read, Dr. Quack. The doc got his medical degree from DeVry.

[Groovus Maximus]

Actually, it was University of Phoenix Online, but that's a different story. It's a shame that your mother was so eager to do all that webcam porn in lieu of a cadaver. She could have been so much more.

And out of whose prolapsed anus did you get your Dicknology degree?

[Episiarch]

My dick-nology studies were completed at Trinity, you classless buffoon.

[Groovus Maximus]

Ah, Trinity, the CrackerJack box of faux-academia.

You are beyond pitiful. I can't even look at you. How Jimbo can even picture your mom while he's banging you is beyond me.

[nicole]

Sorry guy, that is the worst mansplanation of all time. Why would I watch Star Trek like, almost every night if there weren't such an endless amount of stuff to make fun of? That is the whole point. THIS IS AN INTEGRAL PART OF MY LIFESTYLE.

[Brett L]

If I say I'm glad they aren't producing any series right now, is that a good thing to say about Star Trek?

[Groovus Maximus]

Yes, as absense makes the heart grow fonder.

[Alack]

The stupid; it hurts.

[nicole]

Balko is slamming her pretty nicely on the Twitter at least. But still.

[JW]

She's not bad looking for a fluffer.

[T]

Ana Marie Cox should stick to writing about buggery. She at least knows something about the subject.

[Killazontherun]

Saved for this close to the election to get the sickly ludicrous idea out there that Obama has been trying to end the drug war to prevent a backlash over the absurdity of the claim.

[nicole]

I know, it's sickening.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

HAHAHA, holy shit:

A cool trillion dollars spent, countless lives extinguished, untold heartache, unimaginable amounts human potential wasted just in terms of lives cut short, but also all the would-be Einsteins, Shakespeares, and Martin Luther Kings who instead find themselves by circumstances or birth trapped in addiction, jail, criminal enterprise, or all of the above.

"IF ONLY D'QUAN CRAPHONSO HADN'T BEEN LOCKED UP, HE WOULD HAVE CHANGED HUMAN CIVILIZATION FOREVER!!"

[Heroic Mulatto]

Yeah, tough guy? Just think if we arrested Sherlock Holmes for cocaine possession, where would we be now? In the United States of Moriartia, that's where!

[Groovus Maximus]

He chased the dragon, HM. -)

[Heroic Mulatto]

But did he ride the snake?

[VG Zaytsev]

REASON 88: OBAMA HAS WORKED TO END THE WAR ON DRUG USERS.

By killing and imprisoning them.

No more users, no more drug war.

[Brett L]

Just. Wow. The Atlantic music columnist says Taylor Swift is kind of like Leonard Cohen and Steely Dan. I hope there was at least a blowjob involved.

[Groovus Maximus]

Such a comparison would require WAY more than a blowjob, Brett. This is space docking territory.

Leonard Cohen???? Really?

[T]

Kind of like Leonard Cohen in that both are human?

[Groovus Maximus]

Tests have not proven conclusively that Taylor Swift is human. I need a Gom Jabbar.

[nicole]

All I will say is that if the Leonard Cohen concert I'm going to later this month sounds anything like Taylor Swift, I'm going to want my money back.

[C. Anacreon]

That's Leonard "Nimoy" Cohen if you are space docking.

[Killazontherun]

Lucky bastard. Butt stuff with Taylor Swift. She must have cried which explains the strangely compassionate tone of the column.

[Archduke Pantsfan]

Conservative government's order of succession shows Canada isn't ready for a Cylon attack

[Groovus Maximus]

I already know this. Worry not, My Friendly Liege, I have spared Manitoba from my Maritime Annihilation Project (sans PEI). Newfoundland will not be so fortunate.

[The Last American Hero]

The possibility of a Cylon attack is the only good reason to have a Secretary of Education.

[A Serious Man]

You're fraking Number, aren't ya?

[Brett L]

If anyone has a real bomb, this backstage area would be an ideal target.

Dear Feds: I can build my own, don't bother trying to sell me a fake one.

[T]

Yeah, you probably shouldn't have mentioned that. I'll hoist a beer for you when the drones strike Florida.

[Brett L]

Luckily, I'm pirating my neighbor's internet. Er, I mean. Scratch that. The modem is in my house. Yeah.

[Death Rock and Skull]

"Argentina has lowered its voting age to 16"

I was aware enough to be a responsible voter at that age. I already knew about libertarianism.

The age of majority for everything should just be 15 or 16. Everything. 14 might be pushing it but I would have no concerns with 15.

[OldMexican]

Re: Death Rock and Skull,

I was aware enough to be a responsible voter at that age. I already knew about libertarianism.

And that is why you cannot vote in this country when you're 16 - because you are aware.

Only indifferent drones and unthinking sheep are allowed to vote, a condition that happens when you turn 18 - something like a reverse Logan's Run thing.

[Cytotoxic]

Terrible idea. Young people are stupid. Voting shouldn't be allowed until at least 21 if not 25.

[Big 'Orra]

Yea, it takes about that long to whip the love of freedom out of people...

[OldMexican]

Imprisoning musicians for offending the sensibilities of Christians isn't just for Russians: Poland is doing it, too.

Oh! You saved the day again, Doctor Conflator!

Tearing up a Bible =/= Trespassing into a church wearing masks like bank robbers.

[OldMexican]

Rhode Island is suing Curt Schilling and the former head of its own redevelopment corporation over the $75 million loan guarantee the state gave to Schilling's now-bankrupt video game company.

I wish I could be sued for $75 million. It would certainly make me more interesting to the ladies.

[tagtann]

No doubt that storm will be in the history books!

http://www.u-anon.tk