Polls Favor Obama Despite Economic Doldrums, Ahmadinejad: Tolerance of Gays is "Capitalist," Innocent Man Freed After 20 Years: P.M. Links


Don't forget to sign up for Reason's daily AM/PM updates for more content.

NEXT: Do Americans Hate Gridlock? 27 Percent Want Congress to Pass More Laws, 45 Percent Want Fewer Laws

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. First!

  2. Americans say they’re economically worse off than they were four years ago, but they still give Barack Obama an edge in the polls.

    That’s what they get for taking a poll of people who would answer polls.

    1. I just blew off a call about how I would vote (got a voicemail). Obama, Romney, someone else, or undecided.

    2. What they really mean is “thank you sir! May I have another?”

    3. “Among the elderly and unemployed considered likely to vote…”

  3. Just Skip to 1:52.

    1. Just Skip to 1:52.

    2. I’ll remember this one if I’m ever on your jury.

    1. Well it is hard for the old guys to maintain an erection.

  4. The president went to the United Nations to defend free speech and attack speech that defamed religion…

    Yeah, that was embarrassing. People who don’t understand the concept of individual liberties themselves shouldn’t be tasked with talking to others about the subject.

    1. Constitutional law professor my ass. Has anyone actually seen the degree?

      1. I’d like to see what he has published, beside his fictional autobiography.

        Scholars kinda have to put out scholarly material from time to time.

        1. Google “the Obama you don’t know.” Interesting piece in the Washington Examiner. Don’t know how much backing there is for it, but they claim many interviews with supporters and former colleagues.

          1. It seems to be pretty well sourced, and it is exactly on target in its description of how community organizers and miscellaneous poverty pimps cynically leverage their “cause” into personal wealth.

            1. And, may I say I find it remarkable that HsquirrelR hasn’t linked to/commented on/expanded on that article.

              As far as I know, its the only real investigative piece published anywhere that even starts to vet the President’s past.

      2. “Lecturer,” never “Professor.”

        1. I believe he was an adjunct. Which really isn’t a professor in the sense of writing papers, kissing ass for tenure, getting ass after tenure, etc.

      3. Nope, he had the records sealed.

    2. Or tasked with the presidency.

  5. Americans say they’re economically worse off than they were four years ago, but they still give Barack Obama an edge in the polls.

    Doesn’t that describe a good portion of Reason’s staff and contributors?

  6. Teen nabbed by Newark cops after carjacking Porsche, unable to drive stick shift

    1. Generation retard.

    2. As someone who drives a Porsche with a manual transmission, I thank you for posting that.

      1. May I ask what Porsche? Boxter, Cockster, or 9-11?

      2. FWIW, the 911’s manual transmission and clutch are the finickiest this side of an actual race car’s. Stalling the customer’s 911 in the front of the house was a rite of passage as a valet.

        Begs the question of why you carjack a car you can’t fucking drive, but who said criminals had to be smart?

    3. That’s hysterical. I’m glad my dad made sure to teach me how to drive stick.

      1. Hey now! Taken out of context that’s quite a revelation.

    4. I have never owned an automatic transmission. The kids these days are too stupid to be allowed to live.

      1. Automatic serves a purpose. I have an SUV that I drag a trailer around with. Automatic is preferred to a stick for this.

      2. Me, either. Our minivan is automatic, but it wouldn’t be if I were the primary driver. Then again, it wouldn’t be a minivan then, either.

        1. Our minivan is automatic, but it wouldn’t be if I were the primary driver.

          After driving a stick for 20 years in DC traffic, I will say that I will never own another manual until I move away from this accursed area.


            1. In my comment to RC below, I was ready to chew my own clutch leg off in that ice storm, after about 3 hours of that shit.

              1. Be a man. BE A MAN! [Slaps JW.]

                1. [grabs ProL’s hand mid-slap and kicks him across the room with over-developed left leg.]

                  1. That didn’t happen in The Godfather, dude.

                    I prefer manual, but I live in Florida. Standard generally offers better control and, so it seems, better gas mileage.

                2. How does an automatic make it easier? The very few times I’ve driven in a bad-as-fuck ice storm aftermath, I left the manual car in 2nd (or 1st, once it got rolling) and tried to drive as slow as possible. And then I tried to drive slower. (Whoever designed Dallas with so many fucking bridges needs to be hung by them and stuffed with the road salt they hoard instead of spread.)

                  1. How does an automatic make it easier?

                    I note below, “stop-and-go.” There was no driving slowly, just in mild agony as I continuously pumped the clutch, never leaving 1st gear.

      3. Do you also shun those newfangled digital music devices?

          1. If he wants to drive stick shifts that’s fine, but there’s nothing wrong with automatic. Or perhaps I misread his disdain for it?

          2. …or inept analagist?

            1. I’m also the second certified analyst and therapist.

              1. Maybe you ought to just record yourself and listen to the tape.

              2. Okay. You know what you do? Buy yourself a tape recorder. Record yourself for a whole day. I think you’re gonna be surprised at some of your phrasing.

                1. What did he say? What were the last words he said to you?

                2. You know what I should do? I should check myself into a men’s penal colony.

        1. Vinyl just sounds better.

      4. The only automatics I own are shoulder fired.

        1. No handguns?

          I’ve driven both. Driving a stick in heavy urban commuter traffic is a major pain in the ass (literally; all that clutching is not good for your lower back, etc.). That’s when I went to automatic for the last time.

          1. I own lots of handguns but none are fully automatic.

            1. The shoulder fired ones, on the other hand…

          2. The first time I was stuck in a rush-hour ice storm and took 4.5 hours to get home, bumper-to-bumper, stop-and-go all the way, was the day I swore off sticks. The next car had a slushbox and I’ve never regretted it.

            1. My mom made me learn stick as a condition of getting my license, which I fully approve. My own car was automatic. During my final week of a summer job in college, that car was totaled, and my parents were on vacation. The car left behind was my mom’s stick.

              One week in stop-and-go rush-hour traffic, 40 miles round-trip, was enough to put me off that shit forever. Unless I move out to the country someday.

              (That said, I do like that my current car has the fake-manual, so in shit weather going up hills I can keep it in a low gear.)

          3. Yeah, I bought a car last year and wanted an auto for just that reason: ten hours a week commuting.

      5. I am driving the first automatic I’ve ever owned and I hate it.

        My Grandmother taught me to drive a manual because she never wanted me to be stranded somewhere and unable to drive whatever was available. She had no idea that I’d love them so much.

        1. I actually prefer them as well–I tend to get better gas mileage and paid cheaper prices since the automatics usually come with more bells and whistles.

          As RC Dean said, the tradeoff is that driving in rush-hour traffic is a pain in the ass.

          1. I grew up in Houston and commuted either I-45, US-59, or the 610 Loop my entire life, from the time I was 18 and in college (U Houston), up until a couple of years ago. I despise the traffic, but never minded driving the manual in the traffic. It gave me something to focus on while I was mindlessly chugging along.

            My last manual was a BMW X3. Betty May had to be built and shipped from Austria to get any decent features because the only X3 manuals BMW offered in the US had crank windows and cloth seats. I have a 4runner now, and I like it, but just hate that transmission. I feel so damned lazy and not in control driving it.

        2. I went the other way last year – saw a used Mini that was the right price and “drove” a manual for the first time on the test drive, which they thankfully let me do alone. I say it in quotes because it was a miserable experience, but the car was fun so I resolved to learn. Now I love it, even in the occasional beltway traffic.

    5. The first time I drove manual, I nearly melted the clutch and blew the tires out. I would like to imagine, had I been that teen, it would have been the car chase of the century.

    6. OK, how many of you can drive “three on the tree”?

      … Hobbit

      1. grew up on it.

        1. Me too. ’51 Chevy pickup. The floor-mounted starter would flummox kids these days.


  7. Finally, a real use for instagram.


    2. Let’s be honest, there are 25 hot pictures and the other 15 are random beer drinking and duckface.

      1. I like those odds!

    3. blocked by the company firewall

    4. A girl who has a sex swing in her house is either a keeper, or she’ll kill you in your sleep.

      Either way, you’re going to get some good sex.

      1. A girl who has a sex swing in her house is either a keeper, or she’ll kill you in your sleep.

        Those 2 things are not mutually exclusive.

    5. Definitely number 21.

  8. Nasa begins work on warp drive.

    1. My god, it works! This post got launched forward in time from when it was news!

      1. I feel stupid for writing this, but…LOL.

  9. In Shreveport, Louisiana, not a single shooting by a police officer in the last decade has been ruled unjustified.

    They have a terrible record on correct rulings, though.

  10. Free speech means we are only allowed to insult Islam… we are not allowed to criticize those who insult Islam.

    1. Yes Tony. How dare anyone criticize a religion that routinely hangs homosexuals and stones to death women for adultery.

      1. Just like Christianity routinely fucks children.

        1. And they go to jail when they’re caught. See the difference?

          1. Just saying a modern civilized Muslim living in, say, St. Louis, might take issue with John’s characterization of their religion.

            1. Can’t speak for John, but I see no reason to apologize for insulting Muhammed in countries where people use his religion to justify barbaric acts.

              And yes, Obama in condemning speech that denigrates Mohammed is validating the extremists complaints.

              1. Muslim extremist violence will happen without any provocation from idiots on Youtube. The video was a flimsy excuse by any estimation.

                But Obama didn’t apologize for anything and merely called for religious tolerance. I bet every president in recent memory has said similar things.

                1. “the future must not belong to those who slander the Prophet of Islam” is fundamentally different from the correct response which is “we do not condemn such speech but firmly support the right to say it”.

                  He was deliberately trying to appease the rioters and extremists. Now they can riot at any flimsy provocation and Obama will have set the precedent of needing to condemn it.

                  1. I meant the correct response is “we do not condone such speech…”

                    1. He said almost those exact words…

                    2. “He said almost those exact words…”

                      Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

                    3. He expressed the exact sentiment ASM was bitching at him for not expressing.

                    4. No, the correct response is “In these circumstances it would be completely inappropriate for me, as President of the United States, to condone, or condemn, the speech of any citizen.”

                    5. I don’t see a clause in the first amendment excepting the president.

                    6. My view on that last remark, Tony, is that the president is not speaking as a private citizen in any of these cases, which makes things completely different. There is very little room to say he is not acting in an official capacity, and thus making official statements–i.e., official condemnations of works of private expression. We do not pay anyone in the government to do that, much less the president.

                    7. Mitt Romney is a private citizen. Should the president refrain from criticizing things he says too?

                    8. Well, we do attempt to have legal mechanisms that separate campaigning from current functions of elective office. The president can’t make fundraising calls from the West Wing, for example. We do try to separate his duties as president from those as something else (in this case, as a candidate).

                    9. I should say that we don’t do nearly well enough at this, of course. In my state, for example, the secretary of state has his name plastered all over every envelope and piece of letterhead coming out of his department. The secretary of state doesn’t renew my tags, JESSE WHITE does. This is a totally improper use of public office IMO as it gains him name recognition–advertising himself on the public dime.

        2. And today the President of the United States told us that the way forward is for us all to join together in denouncing the haters who spread stories about priests molesting children.

          Because the future must not belong to the haters who smear the good name of Christianity.

        3. Just like Christianity routinely fucks children.

          When was the last time you heard a politician complain about offensive things being said about the Catholic Church? They don’t, yet when Islam is involved they suddenly feel the need to make apologies.

          1. This world doesn’t have a problem with Christians or Catholics blowing up embassies (for the most part).

            Islam is so backward in much of the world, like a rabid hyena. Obviously the best response is to poke the hyena with a stick and give it a lecture on Jeffersonian values.

            1. Because it’s not fair to those people living in the Middle East that do want liberty to see the American president making apologies for it.

              1. When did he apologize?

                1. While the United States rejects efforts to denigrate the religious beliefs of others, we must all unequivocally oppose the kind of senseless violence that took the lives of these public servants.

                  So when was the last time Obama rejected efforts to denigrate the Catholic Church? Since when is it official government policy to reject such efforts?

            2. Islam is so backward in much of the world, like a rabid hyena. Obviously the best response is to poke the hyena with a stick and give it a lecture on Jeffersonian values.

              You have the backbone of a jellyfish.

            3. Islam is so backward in much of the world, like a rabid hyena. Obviously the best response is to poke the hyena with a stick and give it a lecture on Jeffersonian values.

              If you’re looking for the US to institute anti-blasphemy laws against people criticizing Islam, just say so. You don’t have to go through these passive-aggressive expressions of supplication, you silly coward.

            4. Why defend Islam, Tony?

              It is a form of conservatism and anti-liberal.

              I despise that rancid religion (among others).

              1. And yet, you don’t chastise ALL politicians for having spiritual beliefs – though in Obama’s case, his true religious beliefs are in The Church of The State.

                Just like you and Tony, shrike.

              2. If I were in Egypt and someone said “all Christians fuck children” I would defend the facts just the same.

        4. Just like Christianity routinely fucks children.

          Last time I checked it’s Islam that allows creepy old pedos to “marry” young girls, because a girl is eligible for marriage as soon as she hits puberty. The old “if she’s old enough to bleed, she’s old enough to breed”, as it were…

          BTW, modern Christians tend to look down on this sort of thing.

          1. Modern Muslims tend to look down on suicide bombing too.

    2. derp

      1. Wow, Shorter Tony makes way more sense than Real Tony.

      2. Ah joy. Succinct t o n y is a blessing of brevity.

    3. Yeah, but the ostensible leader of the free world just kotowed to the extremists rather than admit that it isn’t really about the frickin’ video.

      1. Pretty sure he did the exact opposite. You must have listened to the speech with Hannity’s ears.

        1. I would rather he admit that the root of the problem is the bellicose foreign policy that he has enhanced rather than Muslims being overly sensitive. You know, honesty, integrity.

          1. I’m sure all the drone striking had nothing to do with the film that provoked the mob.

        2. And you Tony, must’ve listened to Obama’s speech with Chris Matthew’s ears. Do you feel tingly?

          1. Thrilly! Thrilly, dammit!

    4. Free speech means we are only allowed to insult Tony… we are not allowed to criticize those who insult Tony

    5. You’re just trolling, Tony.

      Stop it.

      1. Faux outrage deserves to be trolled.

        1. And you are the final arbiter on whether someone else’s outrage is feigned or not?

          Were you born with your telepathic ability or is it the result of a mutation?

          1. Perhaps feigned isn’t the correct word. I bet the outrage you all feel after hearing Sean Hannity’s take on a speech you didn’t actually listen to is all too real.

            1. I’ve never watched Hannity, so you’re barking up the wrong tree.

            2. Huh. And here I read the transcript in the Telegraph and thought it was weak sauce.

              1. Notice how the fuckstain juts assumes we listen to that idiot Hannity… all the while not admitting his predilection for admiring thugs like Matthews and Ed Schultz.

        2. Faux outrage deserves to be trolled.

          It appears you’re confusing outrage with contempt, dummy. And President Not My Fault certainly deserves every bit of it that comes his way.

  11. Not treating homosexuals like crap is a capitalist thing, says Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

    Gay kid hangings are bad for business. They otherwise tend to grow up having a lot of disposable income.

  12. http://news.investors.com/0925…..obama.aspx

    Median household income declined again in August and is down a staggering 8.2% under Obama. If Obama were a Republican, the media would be calling this the second great depression.

    1. The average inflation-adjusted income for households in the middle 20% is now lower than it’s been since 1995, the census report found.

      Holy fuck that’s bad.

      1. Summer of recovery!

      2. And this is with the inflation figures they admit to. How bad is it using the, e.g., shadowstats formulas? Back to the 1980s?

        Who was it who did the spreadsheet work here, and figured out that when you backed gov’t spending out of the GDP figures, that the U.S. hasn’t had economic growth since, IIRC, 1999?

        1. Who was it who did the spreadsheet work here, and figured out that when you backed gov’t spending out of the GDP figures, that the U.S. hasn’t had economic growth since, IIRC, 1999?

          Karl Denninger posts something like this every once in a while, although I don’t believe he’s done so recently. He typically focuses on deficit spending as a percentage of GDP.

          1. Denninger is a Perma-Doomer Bear that hasn’t been right since March 2009.

            1. Denninger is a Perma-Doomer Bear that hasn’t been right since March 2009.

              And you haven’t been right on actual GDP growth since forever. So I’ll take his word over your dumb country ass.

              1. That’s shrike… still lapping up the Keynesian Kool-Aid.

  13. Caterpillar, incidentally, sees a sluggish outlook for the global economy in 2013.

    I’m guessing Caterpillar isn’t the only manufacturer who can read the writing on the wall. Enjoy those unemployment numbers; they’ll be around for a while.

    1. Hey all we need is a new world war to rid ourselves of all this excess labor…

      1. If I was an Archduke, I’d be watching my back.

        1. awkward.

          1. Never fear, just watch your back around the Serbs.

    2. FedX has already announced that it’s going to be a bad year next year. That means there is really bad news for the economy overall.

      1. This is obviously a lame attempt by teh kkkorperayshuns!! to get there stooge Roney elected.

  14. I think we all know the answer to this question.

    1. No, you’re not a dork, you’re a douche.

      1. No, douche is reserved for the pork-pie wearers.

  15. Surprise, surprise, surprise! Tesla Motors is having financial problems. Who would have guessed?

    1. So you’re saying that a glorified go-cart that cost $100K wasn’t exactly a market friendly investment?

      You just hate gaia.

      1. The Lotus Elise is a fun car. The problem is adding an extra ton to an Elise’s chassis.

        1. Oh, come on, it’s stillat least half as much fun, and it costs twice as much, and will go about 90 miles before you have to plug it in for 8 hours before you can use it again…

          So what’s not to love?

          1. It gets better. Tesla announced “supercharger” stations that they’re building, that aren’t compatible with the Roadster, just the newer models.

            They’re putting them next to restaurants, of course, so you have something to do while you wait for your overpriced toy to re-charge.

    2. I kinda want Tesla to fail, so that SpaceX gets all of Musk’s focus. I just told my wife that we’re going to be dead before we can take a (safe!) tourist trip to Mars. He and his company need to prove me wrong.

      Interesting that NASA is talking about a space station at L-2. That’s a lot more dangerous than the ISS (outside the Van Allen belt). They make it sound like the astronauts will get to L-2 (to build and later inhabit the station) via Orion on some NASA launch system, but I’m guessing that it’ll be SpaceX or another private company that gets them there. In any case, that’s a little more aimed at manned exploration of the solar system.

      1. I’m still lobbying for the NASA HLV/Crew Module to be called Vaporware 1.

      2. Bezos’ company, Blue Origin, is probably your best bet for that. However, it doesn’t get the press because Bezos is less about self-promoting vaporware.

        1. It’s a better bet than SpaceX? How do you figure?

          1. Starting at the top, I’d rather have Bezos than Musk running the show. Their design is pure vertical take-off and landing, which, if you want to go to Mars, is the way to go. SpaceX seems to be designed with LEO as the goal, Blue Origin seems to be designing with LEO at Phase 1.

            1. I’ve read that SpaceX has plans beyond LEO, though that’s the current market for them. It’s very early in the game for the company, since they’ve only launched Dragon twice. The first actual Dragon resupply mission is slated to launch in a couple of weeks.

              SpaceX is also looking at a variety of booster options, some of which could get spacecraft well outside of LEO. Like Falcon Heavy.

              I’m all for all sorts of competition, and I hope that gets going in earnest soon. Even the suborbital tourism industry, once it’s operational, could get us to the point where manned access to space is cost effective.

        2. And it’s secretive as fuck. I bet they’ll have an operating asteroid mine and the first thing we’ll know about it is a huge lump of nickel landing i the Pacific off the coast of California.

          1. I hope they succeed, but they need to start launching stuff. And, if I remember correctly, they’re still working on suborbital craft. Seems to me that they’re way behind SpaceX. Though I suppose all of that secrecy could be hiding something like a secret base in the asteroids.

          2. a huge lump of nickel landing in the Pacific off the coast of California.

            It would be a shame if they miss their target.

            1. Say, instead of drone process, we could have asteroid process.

            2. It will be easier to repopulate it after a tsunami than an asteroid strike. Think, man!

    1. Is she endorsing him? That’s confusing.

  16. The president went to the United Nations to defend free speech and attack speech that defamed religion … Ummm.

    I don’t get the problem with this. Seems to fit with Voltaire.

    “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”

    1. Hey Mo, that’s not the president’s quote. Go RTFA.

      1. TFA:

        Obama called the anti-Muslim video that sparked violence in many countries “crude and disgusting” and an insult to Muslims and to the United States. But he defended the protection of free speech in America.

        His speech:

        That is what we saw play out the last two weeks, as a crude and disgusting video sparked outrage throughout the Muslim world. I have made it clear that the United States government had nothing to do with this video, and I believe its message must be rejected by all who respect our common humanity.

        I accept that people are going to call me awful things every day, and I will always defend their right to do so. Americans have fought and died around the globe to protect the right of all people to express their views ? even views that we disagree with.

        The obsession with the video is annoying.

        1. I Guess they left out the money quote:

          The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam

          You know, because we’re not allowed to freely speak.

    2. Yes, if he’d said that without qualification, we’d be grudgingly agreeing with him.

      1. Not really. Even without the qualifier concerning Mo it was terrible. We don’t owe the world any kind of explanation for our freedom of speech. He was behaving like he a defendant’s lawyer.

        1. I meant if he’d quoted Voltaire.

        2. I agree, I prefer, “Fuck you, freedom of speech bitches.” However, I disagree with this speech but will defend it is hardly a new statement. Also, he needs to STFU about the video.

          1. Also, he needs to STFU about the video.

            That too. He is merely compounding his errors by avoiding the obvious foreign policy mistakes.

        3. he’s

  17. Paradoxically, berets always look fetching on women. But then most hats do. Guys who have even the slightest fear of appearing clownish should avoid fashion hats altogether.

    This is a problem for me as I get older and balder. I need to find some kind of hat that works for me besides the Opie beanie.


    1. Ah, fuck you, reply button.

    2. Raylan Givens “town Stetson”.

    3. There’s a simple way to fix that. Narrow face, get a stingy brim.

    4. Don’t you have a top hat and monocle?

  18. The most important thing they did was track down Mvuemba, according to court filings detailing their work. He was in prison for sexual assault and wanted to talk. Minutes into the first meeting, he blurted out, “I didn’t see anything.”

    He said the police had come to his school two months after the shooting, handcuffed him and brought him to a police station, where they told him Smith had already been identified as the gunman. They wanted him to do the same.

    “I felt a lot of pressure to go along with it,” he said.

    Mvuemba said he soon regretted it and reported his concerns to LAPD internal affairs twice. He even told the courtroom bailiff as he prepared to take the witness stand, he said. No one did anything, he said.

    Naturally, this is the only time LA homicide detectives did anything of the kind, and all their other convictions are A-OK and totally aboveboard.

    1. They got the conviction. What do you want from them?

  19. Alec Baldwin offers his invaluable wisdom on the election: Only Obama can Make America Great Again.

    1. Nope, couldn’t finish it. The part where he quoted someone else was interesting, but then it went to bizarre and finally talking points bullshit.

    2. Uhhh, is he talking about some other Obama? Because I’m only aware of the one.

      Oops, I mean ‘the ONE’.

    3. Oh, really? When’s he going to do that? After he gets elected to the White House? Is it 2008?

    4. Damn it! Why want people just give him a chance!?!?!

  20. Star Wars theme calms crying baby

    1. We should show that to the Muslim ragers in Pakistan and elsewhere.

    2. I had to check w/ a friend of mine and make sure he hadn’t posted that.

  21. Woman ‘humiliated’ at grocery store for using food stamps.

    Well the manager was out of line in the sense that you don’t talk back to a customer like that, but at the same time I work at a grocery store part time while going to school and a lot of the time people on food stamps will try to get items that are not approved on the list, which results in them holding up the line.

    1. Kroger also offered Nerger a $15 gift card, which she declined.

      Guess she’s above it.

    2. Wow, the comments are incredible.

      This woman is kind of beaten down, and says she doesn’t have much hope for the future regardless of who wins the election.

      So the comments are full of people denouncing her for failing to have enough gratitude to Obama.

      People are literally posting that they felt bad for her and were on her side, but then changed their minds because she fails to respect Obama enough and appreciate what he has done for her.

      1. Those people are why I’m armed to the teeth. A cult of personality like that have an unlimited capacity to do evil if so instructed.

          1. After this typo, I’m eagerly awaiting you misspelling “his”.

      2. Obama has done very little for the destitute.

        Small businesses, stock market longs, and health insurers should be grateful though.

        In fact small biz owners support him by double the national average.

        1. The small biz owners who support Obama… are they likely to commit suicide soon?

    3. Nerger was upset. She told the manager the argument was unnecessary because she was correct all along.

      “And he said, ‘Well excuse me that I work for a living and don’t rely on food stamps like you.”

      The manager, if he said what she alleges, was kind of a dick. Flip side, she could have shut up, taken her stuff and walked out the door without extra commentary. If you’re winning the argument, stop talking.

      1. Yeah, the manager deserves to be disciplined because they’re paid more to take people’s crap, that’s why SOP is always to refer all difficult customers to the managers.

    4. The cashier told her she owed $10, which Nerger said could not be possible because she knew food stamps covered the items in her cart. A manager eventually let her go, but not before giving Nerger a piece of his mind.

      “He finally just said, ‘Okay, just give it to her.’ I said, ‘See, I told you it was covered by food stamps,’ and he said, ‘Excuse me for working for a living and not relying on food stamps!'”

      By that time, Nerger said, several people had been waiting in line behind her, and other customers had started watching the exchange. It was too much.

      “I turned around and saw everyone beyond me and I just burst into tears,” she said.

      Well, boo fucking hoo. What are we supposed to do, give nothing but kudos and praise to those who live on the public dole?

      “They’re all gonna kill us,” she said. “Most of the people that we have to choose from — Obama with his spending and his health care reform, and then Mitt Romney, he just wants to let poor people die, so either way we’re doomed. So I don’t see any point in voting.”

      I hope this bitch never gets her kidney transplant, which we are all paying for, by the way, and dies a long, slow, agonizing death…alone and scared.

    5. The comments on that article are just…the worst. The absolute worst.

    6. And if you work in a grocery store you know that she owed $10. It’s automatic. No one’s hitting a ‘food stamps applicable’ button every time something is scanned. I’d just pull the tape and show her what wasn’t covered.

      I’m getting the feeling that this is exactly what was done, but she kept arguing and making a scene, so he said just give it to her, whereupon she got nasty…and he got nasty back–after having given her free non food stamp items.

      I hope he got a raise.

  22. In Shreveport, Louisiana, not a single shooting by a police officer in the last decade has been ruled unjustified. That’s just good police work!

    Why would the police shoot those people if they weren’t guilty?

    Definitionally good shoots.


  23. So it turns out Obama is the final NotRomney?

  24. Generation stupid: Student nearly dies of alcohol poisoning after taking an alcohol enema at frat party.

    Which raises the question: with friends like that, who needs an enema?

    1. Why do frat boys always do such borderline gay stuff. Not there is anything wrong with being gay. But I am thinking letting your buddies give you an enema at a party definitely falls on the gay side of things.

      1. Borderline? Back in college one went to a gay bar to get a drink, the frat house to have fun.

        1. I bet you went to Brown.

        2. Hey, Tony… I dare you to go to Iran and tell people there your sexual preferences.

          1. I dare you to go to Libya and take a shit on a Muhammad cutout.

      2. Aren’t fraternities inherently homoerotic? After all, the initiation pranks and tasks often involve nudity and humiliation and such.

      3. Male bonding does have its (historic) uses. But current fraternities don’t seem to produce men anymore.

      4. You’re not the only one who thinks it’s weird and homoerotic. Everytime you turn around, you hear about these guys dipping their nutsacks on other guy’s faces, taking pictures sticking their cocks next to some passed out bastard’s chin, paddling their bare asses…. Awfully fucking weird.

        I’m just not seeing what you’re supposed to get out of it, but then again, I was never in a fraternity.

        Is it that hard to drink alcohol?

    2. Authorities think Alexander P. Broughton, 20, of Memphis, who had a blood-alcohol level thought to be “well over” 0.40 percent, ingested the alcohol by a method known as “butt chugging,” in which wine was inserted directly by a tube into his rectum for quick and potent absorption.

      I know all libertarians are low-level Aspies/closet sociopaths (according to leading experts like Tony), but is it wrong that I feel not one shred of sympathy for this idiot?

        1. Part of the experience of drinking is enjoying the taste of the wine or liquor or beer. Last I checked, the sphincter has no tastebuds.

          But let me refer to an expert…Tony w/spaces?

    3. These guys are just trying to avoid cirrhosis. Great long term planning.

  25. After he gets elected to the White House?

    Someday he really WILL be President.

    Then you’ll see.

  26. If you dare, wade into the idiocy that is the Fark comment page on an article about national debt.

    2012-09-25 12:54:55 PM
    Is this where I can point out that all spending bills originate in the GOP-controlled House which hasn’t even tried to pass a budget? Is this where I also note that ‘passing a budget’ doesn’t just mean getting the House to vote on it, it means putting together a document that gets through the Senate too and gets the President’s signature?

    The GOP controls the start point for the budget and therefore the debt. Why aren’t they trying to do something besides passing 31 bills overturning HCR?

    My theory is that his mom did some of the brown acid while he was in the womb.

    1. Jeebus on a pogo stick, you don’t know even know where to start on that one.

    2. Nope. Life’s too short.

    3. That’s not even the worst one. Witness the mind-bending stupidity and lack of basic math skills:

      theorellior 2012-09-25 02:17:12 PM

      When the debt gets to 133%, 140% of GDP, then we can panic.

      At this point, we raise taxes on the people who can most afford it, and let inflation and GDP growth bring the debt percentage down to manageable levels.

      Forget brown acid, this moron’s mother clearly guzzled Schlitz during her entire pregnancy.

  27. Not treating homosexuals like crap is a capitalist thing, says Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

    Mister Burns, please. I think we can trust the President of Iran…

  28. No sparrow falls…

    White House spokesman Jay Carney told reporters aboard Air Force One that Obama watched the Monday night game and “thinks there was a real problem with that call.”

    “He said that what happened in that game is why both sides need to come together, resolve their differences so that the regular refs can get back on the field so we can start focusing on a game that so many of us love rather than debating whether or not a game was won or lost because of a bad call,” Carney said.


    1. I might vote for Romney if he’d mock the president for releasing a comment on a fucking bad call.

      1. Be hard to considering that Paul Ryan couldn’t keep his gob shut about it either.

        Though, to be fair, he IS a Packer’s fan. I think the DSM-5 counts that as a form of mental illness or something, and we’re suppose to be more forgiving of people with special needs.

    2. Netanyahu didn’t have time to come over and watch the game?

    3. Ed Hochuli was not available for comment.

    4. Whew! I was worried we wouldn’t get an official presidential statement on this critical issue facing the nation.

  29. a blood-alcohol level thought to be “well over” 0.40 percent, ingested the alcohol by a method known as “butt chugging,” in which wine was inserted directly by a tube into his rectum for quick and potent absorption.

    Unless the wine was under extremely high pressure I find it pretty much impossible to believe this tale.

    1. You spelled tail wrong.

    2. Wait, really? You know that enema’s are just in bags, right? No air compressor involved.

      1. [Jots down notes for a high-pressure butt-chugging device, calls patent attorney.]

        1. Prior art and obviousness: will you never stop killing our profitable ideas? Sphincterogram and anal exercising device. Manual coffee enema positive pressure enema device.

          One of the funniest patent cases I remember reading about was an infringement case in Houston, concerning a personal vibrator worn on the tongue. I want to say they had expert testimony from the pornographic film industry, actors and such explaining why the infringing embodiment was different than the patent, etc…

      2. Can we get Stagliano in here to make the call?

        1. He only uses white russians.

    3. I don’t think the digestive tract works that way.

  30. “He finally just said, ‘Okay, just give it to her.’ I said, ‘See, I told you it was covered by food stamps,’


  31. That’s not a traffic jam, this is a traffic jam.

    1. Helicopter capital of the world, not?

    2. Why the fuck would anyone willingly live there and endure that?

        1. OK, I’m reconsidering my position.

        2. Didn’t they just change the laws so I can have 2 of them?

          1. I don’t know, but if so, let us know.

            Before or after you move.

    3. I would think a private light rail line could make a profit there.

  32. Drudge had a story up earlier quoting from the administration explaining why Obama wont meet leaders at the UN. ‘If he meets with one, he’ll have to meet with ten.” Exactly. That is his fucking job to meet with leaders.

  33. enema’s are just in bags, right? No air compressor involved.

    That was my point. How does the kid absorb that much alcohol (particularly in the form of wine) unless it is being forced through the walls of his intestines?

    Not to mention the ungodly mess.

    1. It gets absorbed in the rectum, without being filtered by the digestive tract first, so they get a lot more alcohol into the bloodstream a lot quicker than they would by drinking it. Depending on his size, that could have been as little as a glass or two.

      1. A BAC of 0.40 from two glasses of wine? How small is he?

  34. Not to mention the ungodly mess.

    I had the same thought

    “Those are some interesting markings on your walls. Modern impressionist?”

  35. Re: Tony,

    Free speech means we [sic] are only allowed to insult [sic] Islam…

    That is exactly right. You and your mom are allowed to “insult” Islam only.

    we [sic] are not allowed to criticize those who insult [sic] Islam.

    Lesson well learned, grasshopper – you and your mom are not allowed to criticize those that “insult” Islam.

    By the way, you can’t “insult” a religion. It would be like insulting a color, or a poem. I can, however, insult you, by calling you a person of limited intellectual skills who can’t even write sentences that possess logical coherence.

    1. Chartreuse is a revolting color. There, I just insulted a color.

      1. Your comment offends me. Unless the president denounces you, I plan to riot.

  36. Not treating homosexuals like crap is a capitalist thing, says Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Which is an unintended compliment, if you think about it.

    I feel warm and fuzzy inside already.

    1. It’s probably all the wine you butt chugged.

      1. Re: T,

        It’s probably all the wine you butt chugged.

        Who the hell drinks wine? Wine is for sissies! Real men chug whiskey through their butts!

        1. I’m going to have a nice butt double IPA.

          1. And now we have the name of my next beer.

  37. Americans say they’re economically worse off than they were four years ago, but they still give Barack Obama an edge in the polls.

    They would rather be poor than be called “racists”!

    That’s true committment to the cause, guys!

    1. I guess on the plus side, you don’t have to tell creepy Obama cultists you hate Obama to secretly vote against Obama.

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.