Convenient Jobless Numbers, Euro Bond Plan Response, Auto Unions in Decline: P.M. Links

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  • Nobody's looking for the union label.

    Jobless claims are down, which is quite convenient information on the day President Barack Obama will give a big speech arguing for a second term.

  • Stock markets are responding positively to the European Central Bank's bond-buying plan.
  • Auto unions may be a dominant force at the Democratic National Convention but elsewhere, not so much.
  • A mother and her three daughters are dead in Missouri in what authorities suspect is a murder-suicide.
  • California's controller has noticed that school district executives get huge raises soon before they retire, jacking up their pensions.
  • A majority of LGBT students say they feel unsafe at school. Maybe if there were more competition for students, administrators would feel more pressure to crack down on inappropriate behavior?
  • Hacked e-mails allegedly from security firm Stratfor seem to indicate that the FBI knew about the NYPD's surveillance tactics and knew that they're illegal. Stratfor says some of the e-mails may be forged or altered.

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  1. Jobless claims are down, which is quite convenient information on the day President Barack Obama will give a big speech arguing for a second term.

    We’ll no doubt get a correction speech when they’re revised in a week or so.

    1. It seems unlikely that a downward correction won’t be coming, seeing how that seems to be the status quo.

    2. This is EXACTLY my first thought.

      There will be a correction to the numbers which show no reduction at all, and we’ll hear nary a word about it.

      1. T o n y

        Just remember, it’s rude to wear tinfoil hats indoors.

        1. I would hardly call something that happens every single week a far-fetched conspiracy.

          Lazy troll is lazy.

          1. Seriously. This isn’t a new thing. Heck, I’d even give them that it’s just SOP and not necessarily being done just for the nomination.

          2. I am disappoint in Tony’s lack of effort with this one.

          3. T o n y

            Is there any evidence that jobless numbers are politically motivated?

            Oh, I attempted some Google research and realized this is a Rush Limbaugh conspiracy theory. Nice. Talk about lazy trolls.

            1. Tony, your direct accusation was that mlg was engaging in tinfoil hattery by saying “There will be a correction to the numbers which show no reduction at all, and we’ll hear nary a word about it.”, even though this happens week-in and week-out.

              mlg didn’t say anything about politically motivated. you’re just shifting the argument.

              1. Episiarch

                It’s a fucking sockpuppet. Why do you waste your own time arguing with something whose sole purpose is to present bullshit arguments that…waste your time?

                1. Because there are readers out there who might buy its arguments.

                  Once it gets too tiresome, I usually stop, but there are people out there who think just like it.

              2. T o n y

                Perhaps he should do what economists advise and pay attention to longer-term trends rather than weekly reports.

                1. Perhaps he should do what economists advise and pay attention to longer-term trends rather than weekly reports.

                  Which is a total non-sequitur from your original position re: tinfoil hattery.

                2. Restoras

                  Perhaps he should do what economists advise and pay attention to longer-term trends rather than weekly reports

                  Except that the string of weekly reports…equals the long-term trend.

                3. Red Rocks Rockin

                  Perhaps he should do what economists advise and pay attention to longer-term trends rather than weekly reports.

                  Like this one?

                  http://data.bls.gov/timeseries/LNS11300000/

                  Seriously, making you look like a moron isn’t even a challenge anymore.

            2. Hey, fuckface:

              The Labor Department has now revised upward its first estimate of seasonally adjusted claims in 56 of the past 57 weeks, a Dow Jones analysis of claims reports found. Revisions to government data occur on a regular basis but it is uncommon for numbers to nearly always be restated in the same direction.

              Fuck off.

              1. Wow, I didn’t know it was 56 out of 57 times. Let me guess: the 57th time it was not revised either way?

                1. That article was written in April, though I’d be willing to bet that at least 90% of jobless reports since have also been revised upwards after the initial numbers came in.

              2. Also this.

                In the report released last week, the Labor Department said applications for jobless benefits in the week ended March 31 decreased 6,000 to a seasonally adjusted 357,000. The headlines rang out telling us this was the lowest level in nearly four years and U.S. stocks got a very a brief boost. This was the second week in a row that jobless claims were reported to have hit a post-crisis low. Certainly that seems like a good trend.

                However, if history is any guide we will soon find out that the number is actually worse. For the past 57 weeks the Labor Department has revised its weekly initial jobless-claims number up the following week, according to a Dow Jones study.

              3. 56/57? Wow, I’d never have dreamed it was that frequent. Holy cow.

                I bet a study of how prominently the correction was reported versus the reporting of the initial figure would be instructive as well.

                It’s amazing how much we tolerate. This alone should be a problem with investigations, firings, etc. Instead, people just accept manipulation.

                1. Auric Demonocles

                  56/57? Wow, I’d never have dreamed it was that frequent. Holy cow.

                  But you think it will happen again this time? You tinfoil nutbag!

                  1. It’s true, I refused to give the administration the 1/57th credit I should have.

                    Frankly, with the crap that goes on these days, I’m surprised they don’t judge fudge the actual numbers altogether.

                    1. Brutus

                      I’m surprised they don’t judge fudge the actual numbers altogether.

                      “Because the regime is captive to its own lies, it must falsify everything. It falsifies the past. It falsifies the present, and it falsifies the future. It falsifies statistics. It pretends not to possess an omnipotent and unprincipled police apparatus. It pretends to respect human rights. It pretends to persecute no one. It pretends to fear nothing. It pretends to pretend nothing.”

                      Vaclav Havel

            3. Scruffy Nerfherder

              Jobless numbers may or may not be politically motivated in the short-term, but in the long-term, they most definitely are. The current definition of the official unemployment rate, U3, is a joke. If the unemployment rate were still defined as it were in the 30’s, we would have peaked at over 17% unemployment.

              1. Mr. FIFY

                Did any of us get an e-mail from Limbaugh on this? I sure as fuck didn’t.

                And that’s a good thing. I wouldn’t want that fucker e-mailing me, anyway.

                1. I got the message enclosed with my Koch check.

              2. I can just maybe see the justification for not using U6, but why not U4 or U5? Seems like leaving out people who’ve given up for a while is leaving out people who are, well, fucking unemployed.

                1. Auric Demonocles

                  Pro lib, let me be clear (so your feable old mind can understand this): There are those say that if you give up looking for work you still aren’t employed. To those people I say “YES WE CAN”

                  1. Auric Demonocles

                    Ugh. Feeble*. joe’z law’d. (I think. I can never keep them straight).

                    1. It’s okay, I understood you.

                      I suppose the use of U3 predates this administration, but I don’t know that for sure. Does anyone know? How has U6 trended over the years?

  2. I just saw a Volt for the first time. Like on the road and driving and stuff.

    1. Did you point and laugh?

      1. Actually, I was wondering what the owner thought about it so far. Was it okay, a lemon, whatever? Did he buy it for political reasons? Was he a dealer?

        1. JW

          I see a couple in DC. I flip them the bird every time I pass one.

          1. I’ve never really seen a Volt before. I had no idea Volts looked like that.

            1. RedDragon6009

              It’s like a Bigfoot sighting in Florida. Very rare and always a case of mistaken identity.

              1. Maybe it was just a regular car with a “Volt” sign attached?

                1. Bobarian

                  Or STEVE SMITH on spring break?

              2. Xenocles

                STEVE SMITH NOT WELCOME AT DISNEY WORLD ANY MORE.

                1. Brett L

                  STEVE SMITH NOT WELCOME AT DISNEY WORLD ANY MORE.

                  You rape one guy in a mouse costume…

                  1. Generic Stranger

                    STEVE SMITH NOT RAPE ONE GUY. ONE GUY SMALL TIME RAPESQUATCH. STEVE SMITH RAPE ALL THE DISNEY MASCOTS.

              3. sailshonan

                We call it the “Skunk Ape” down here in Florida…

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I have a friend who owns one. I haven’t asked him about it yet, but then again, he works for the Bureau of Labor Statistics, so I probably know his answer.

          1. Restoras

            Bureau of Labor Statistics pays well, I see.

            1. Well, if getting a car in lieu of cash is being paid well, then yes.

    2. hamilton

      I got to ride in one last weekend. It’s quiet. Eerily quiet. I also hate the display, but am uncertain if this is because the car represents so much evil to me. I did ask the driver why he didn’t thank me for helping him buy it.

      1. So far, my only experience with alternative vehicles is the Prius. It seems okay, if grossly overpriced. Then again, it’s a Toyota, not a GM.

        1. Episiarch

          I do not like the regenerative braking on the hybrids, and their acceleration curve is weird, but you can get used to it. What I’d like to try is a Tesla, seeing as it’s trying to actually be a sports car. Fuck, I walk past the dealership enough, I should walk in for a test drive.

          1. Absolutely. I’d like it if you could live-comment here during the drive.

            I don’t think we have a Tesla dealer here.

          2. np

            I was next to a Tesla roadster at a stoplight when it shot right out in pure silence, which is not surprising given the torque production. I like that stealthy inconspicuous nature.

            From what I understand, they aren’t making the roadsters anymore, shifting production to the Model S sedan instead.

            http://www.insideline.com/tesl…..-test.html

            1. I assume that we will, eventually, have all-electric cars dominating the roads. Not due to government crap, just as a matter of course. That’s going to be weird, quiet death flashing down the road. Probably all automated then, too.

              1. Dr. Frankenstein

                Only the terrorists will be killed with automated quiet death Pro lib. Don’t you trust your masters?

                1. Ah, electric stealth drones. The ultimate in American defense.

      2. SIV

        An electric off road vehicle would be very useful for poaching.

        1. Mad Scientist

          You can get off road golf carts right now.

          1. Restoras

            I beleive Polaris makes an electric ATV

            1. They do.

              It’s not nearly as fast as their gas version, and can’t tow/carry as much, but. from what I understand, it’s equally as impressive as their gas versions in offroad conditions.

    3. “I feel like we’re literally driving around in a vagina.”

    4. Isaac Bartram

      I saw my first Volt a few nights ago. I parked next to it at the Whole Foods in Winter Park.

  3. A majority of LGBT students say they feel unsafe at school.

    These kids need to sack up a little bit. Everyone feels unsafe at school.

    Get friends outside of school, read some books, watch good movies, keep to yourself, and wait for college.

    And stop whining.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      My thoughts as well. A popular hallmark of being a teenager is playing the victim card.

      1. 100% of kids are made fun of for almost every single facet of their lives. Their looks, their money, their car, their social status, their grades (good, bad, indifferent)…sexual orientation is no different.

        Kids are vicious little hatemongering bastards.

        1. RedDragon6009

          Kids are vicious little hatemongering bastards.

          Yeah, I wonder where they get it from.

          1. *raises eyebrow*

            Something to say?

            1. RedDragon6009

              Yeah, I wonder where they get it from.

              Translation: Society is full of vicious hatemongering bastards.

              1. Ehn, yes and no. At least the haters are usually polite enough to wait until they get home to be bigots. Kids just do it to your face.

          2. gaijin

            My theory is that they do not get it from their parents…in fact, it’s the opposite. Parents get it from having been a kid. Some just moderate the instinct as they age.

          3. ant1sthenes

            Being human? As “it gets better” suggests, kids aren’t learning their shittiness from adults, because adults aren’t nearly as shitty.

            A lot of it is learned from peers, but to some extent it’s built-in, and it’s society’s job to drill that impulse out of the little fucks. And some of it they just grow out of — intellectual development is more obvious, but kids and even teens are still developing morally and emotionally.

        2. Dr. Frankenstein

          So long as they’re not homeschooled. You don’t want them to be deprived of socialzation skills.

    2. Pip

      I agree with this. If you are gay and being bullied, take martial arts classes and learn to protect yourself.

      1. Bobarian

        Gay rape the biggest kid in the class, and no one will give you any more shit.

        1. Robert S

          +1

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          Public school is just “prison lite”.

    3. T o n y

      “According to recent gay bullying statistics, gay and lesbian teens are two to three times as more likely to commit teen suicide than other youths. About 30 percent of all completed suicides have been related to sexual identity crisis. Students who also fall into the gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgendered identity groups report being five times as more likely to miss school because they feel unsafe after being bullied due to their sexual orientation. About 28 percent out of those groups feel forced to drop out of school altogether.”

      So either gay kids are just extra whiny, or their sexuality is indeed relevant to there existing a more threatening environment for them.

      1. gay and lesbian teens are two to three times as more likely to commit teen suicide than other youths.

        That is unfortunate, but saying “two to three times” is a meaningless statistic. Two to three times what rate?

        About 30 percent of all completed suicides have been related to sexual identity crisis.

        There was no study in your link on this.

        Students who also fall into the gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgendered identity groups report being five times as more likely to miss school because they feel unsafe after being bullied due to their sexual orientation.

        Self reporting is not reliable.

        About 28 percent out of those groups feel forced to drop out of school altogether.”

        What is the percentage of children overall who feel forced to drop out? Is this number higher, lower, or average?

        1. T o n y

          Yeah teenagers never pick on each other for seeming/being gay and being gay is not a particularly difficult identity for a teenager. We need to get the name of your high school so others can emulate its enlightenment. I’m not sure what you’re trying to argue here. High rates of suicides among gay youth (a very well-reported fact) is something to ignore… Okay.

          1. I’m not sure what you’re trying to argue here.

            That’s pretty obvious.

            High rates of suicides among gay youth (a very well-reported fact) is something to ignore

            Nope. Not what I said.

            Yeah teenagers never pick on each other for seeming/being gay and being gay is not a particularly difficult identity for a teenager.

            Also not what I said.

            1. T o n y

              Your argument was clearly that gay teens (who suffer a disproportionate amount of bullying and suicide rates strictly as a consequence of their sexual identity) should “sack up” and “stop whining.” I’m sure they’ll find the advice very helpful.

              1. It’s better than being a victim.

                who suffer a disproportionate amount of bullying and suicide rates strictly as a consequence of their sexual identity

                Disproportionate compared to what demographic?

                High school sucks. Being gay makes it a little bit worse. That’s what being a minority in Lord of The Flies at PS 98 does to you.

                1. T o n y

                  Compared to non-gay teens, obviously.

                  You have enlightened me, however, as to how we can solve the problem of being taxed too much. Stop whining, suck it up, etc.

                  1. You have enlightened me, however, as to how we can solve the problem of being taxed too much

                    I will tell you that I don’t report to a school psychologist that I feel like a meek little victim just because my taxes are too high.

                    Of course, reason’s original point stands: you want to lock your own people into these public hellholes due to ideology, so look in the mirror if you want to blame somebody.

                    1. T o n y

                      All I’m saying is libertarianism is almost totally a grievance-based ideology, not that this fact doesn’t stop libertarians from acting like nobody else has a legitimate grievance.

                    2. All I’m saying is libertarianism is almost totally a grievance-based ideology

                      The Professional Grievance Industry long ago changes its name to “Democrats, Inc.”

                    3. T

                      I would say that being weak enough to kill yourself because somebody talks mean to you proves your unfitness for the gene pool, but since gays aren’t real likely to pass their genes on anyway, I guess that’s not an issue.

                  2. Compared to non-gay teens, obviously.

                    Given that ‘gay’ is an identifiable, minority identity, don’t you think it should be compared to other identifiable, minority identities?

                    That’s how you measure ‘disproportionate’, Tony.

              2. $park?

                If they did, they probably wouldn’t commit suicide. But that answer doesn’t have enough feeling for you.

              3. Mr. FIFY

                Or… keep their sexuality to themselves, maybe?

              4. Sidd Finch

                It’s possible that a brain wired to do the opposite of its core function has other problems.

                1. It’s possible that a brain wired to do the opposite of its core function has other problems.

                  What? There is no credible evidence that “gay brains” are “wired wrong”. Getting sexual satisfaction is what we’re hard-wired to do; it’s modern attitudes about man-on-man that keep people from doing what’s natural.

                  1. Restoras

                    I don’t think that’s what Sidd meant. Randian.

                    1. What did he mean? I haz a confuse.

                    2. Restoras

                      I believe he meant the brain is generally hardwired to first and foremost survive, so any action diametrically opposed to that is suggestive of other problems.

                    3. T o n y

                      How is being gay “diametrically” opposed to survival?

                      Since homosexuality is known to exist in thousands of species and seems to have always existed in them, including humans, it would seem to be by definition not maladaptive.

                    4. Sidd Finch

                      “Since homosexuality is known to exist in thousands of species”

                      Bullshit. Name 5 species in which it’s even remotely common for a male to prefer a male in the presence of a female in heat.

                    5. T o n y

                      Homosexual behavior in animals

                      Feel free to read away.

                      I wouldn’t suggest that homosexuality as you seem to understand–as something that is maladaptive–is prevalent, as that would make no sense. Obviously there must be some adaptive quality to it in humans and other animals for it to persist, and the Wiki I linked explores various ways in which homosexuality is linked to or contributes to reproduction.

                    6. Sidd Finch

                      I’ve seen that page before. Those animals are still procreating. They’re the equivalent of human bisexuals or foot fetishists.

                    7. Sidd Finch

                      “as something that is maladaptive”

                      I know that evolution is just a culture way thing for you, but this is still incredible. A condition reduces fitness to nearly zero is by definition maladaptive.

                    8. Sidd Finch

                      “How is being gay “diametrically” opposed to survival?”

                      He was saying suicide is diametrically opposed to survival.

                    9. Xenocles

                      If survival is defined as passing one’s genes to a subsequent generation (as it is in the realm of natural selection), I’d say an aversion to the procreative act is certainly contra-survival.

                      That doesn’t make it wrong, just bad for your line.

                    10. Episiarch

                      No, that’s exactly what he meant.

                    11. Sidd Finch

                      Of course that’s what I meant. Restoras interpretation works well also.

                      Look, preferring to have sex in which procreation is impossible is weird. That’s not how animals perpetuate the species. If a person has a condition that reduces fitness by 80%, there’s likely other symptoms.

                      That’s not a moral judgement. I’m in favor of gay marriage yada yada.

                    12. T o n y

                      preferring to have sex in which procreation is impossible is weird.

                      How sad to go through life never experiencing a good BJ.

                    13. Sidd Finch

                      “How sad to go through life never experiencing a good BJ.”

                      Holy shit you’re stupid. It’s not the sex with dudes that’s weird. It’s the not having sex with women.

                  2. Sidd Finch

                    notsureifserious

                  3. Tell it! Tell it!

              5. Suthenboy

                “.. “sack up” and “stop whining.” I’m sure they’ll find the advice very helpful.”

                My parents divorced when I was very young, and that gave me lots of insecurity. I was not a big kid either, and my mother moved us around a bit, so that definitely didnt help.

                In the 4th grade there was this big kid who thought it was funny to punch me in the mouth and push me around any chance he got. One day on the playground next to the tether ball poles ( do they still have those?) he came at me. There was a live oak there. I pulled a dead limb out of it and broke it across his temple. I had just had enough of that shit. No one has ever bullied me since.

                Yeah Tiny, it is pretty good advice.

                1. T o n y

                  And it’s not advice I need to relearn either. I hang around here despite being usually the only liberal around and subject to a constant barrage of name calling, with the occasional ugly homophobic slur. Some of us are able to let things just roll off. Some of us aren’t. And some are too young to have been equipped with the proper mechanisms to handle bullying. I’m not sure encouraging violence is the answer, but I’m glad you’re looking out for solutions, indicating you recognize the problem.

                2. That’s very similar to my story except what I did was double the kid over and drive my knee into his face (he had no idea I leg-pressed over 750lbs at that age.. Never fucked with me again.

                3. Xenocles

                  I was only in one fight in my school days. It went to the ground and I bit him in the arm hard enough to break the skin. It didn’t help the teasing but there were no more fights.

          2. $park?

            All I can offer is anecdotal evidence, but I have one kid in high school and one kid in middle school. Even in this shithole of a city that I live in, I have not heard of a single instance of any kid being bullied for being gay.

            What I suspect is that gay kids get bullied, just like everyone else does, and just assume that it’s because they’re gay.

            1. T o n y

              So their high suicide rates must be explained by… gay teens being extra sensitive to bullying?

              1. Mad Scientist

                Tony, it may surprise you to discover that bullying is not the only reason people commit suicide.

              2. You never demonstrated a “high suicide rate”.

                How many teenage suicides were there in say, 2011 Tony? And by that, I mean individuals 13-18 who were still in high school, because that’s the relevant number.

                I am guessing around 1,000.

              3. So their high suicide rates must be explained by… gay teens being extra sensitive to bullying?

                You want a frank conversation about the unique psychopathology of those who engage in homosexual activities, Tony? Because if you took a good honest look around at the gay community, I don’t think that’s a conversation you want to be having.

                I use all of the preceding terms without any judgment; just in their scientific sense.

                1. T o n y

                  I haven’t seen any data on “sensitivity” but I do find it hard to disagree with a psychiatrist acquaintance who claimed that gay men were the most narcissistic humans on earth, which he claimed had a lot to do with their high rates of suicide and emotional issues.

                  1. Fluffy

                    There’s no way to have this discussion without engaging in stereotyping, but the gay boys who get bullied in high school tend to be the highly feminine ones. Because the ones who AREN’T highly feminine just stay in the closet, work out, and get themselves a beard.

                    So yeah, if you are a gay male who gets bullied into suicide in high school, the odds are that the whole reason you even got noticed and singled out for bullying in the first place is because you displayed traditionally feminine characteristics like overdramatic emotional sensitivity. The very thing that makes you a target also makes it more likely you’ll eat a bullet over it because it’s all just so emo.

                    1. T o n y

                      It’s important to understand that effeminacy is not an affectation–many gay males are born that way, and exhibit those mannerisms from a very young age. My only point is that where I come from people being bullied for how they happened to be born is usually considered a problem.

                    2. Sidd Finch

                      “many gay males are born that way, and exhibit those mannerisms from a very young age.”

                      How do you know they’re born that way if the mannerisms are first noticed at a young age that isn’t right after birth.

                    3. Heroic Mulatto

                      “many gay males are born that way, and exhibit those mannerisms from a very young age.”

                      How do you know they’re born that way if the mannerisms are first noticed at a young age that isn’t right after birth.

                      That’s actually a very good question. I suppose if one found the answer it would be some Nobel Prize winning stuff.

                  2. Mr. FIFY

                    You are, indeed, narcissistic, Tony.

                    Now, as to why you’re so tardy with committing suicide…

                    1. T o n y

                      My boundless narcissism doesn’t tend to manifest as insecurity, but as a defense mechanism. Not that I don’t have insecurities. I’m often insecure about whether I’m best or just second-best.

      2. Mr. FIFY

        I got picked on mercilessly in school, Tony, and I wasn’t gay. Just an unusually good target.

        And guess which party most of my former tormentors now support? Wrong: They’re members of Team Blue.

        1. T o n y

          I was never seriously bullied, but my class was inexplicably unusually mild-mannered. I figure they put something in the water. Of course it offered an array of advanced classes, thus segregating the student body quite a bit, and I really have no idea what went on with the dumb kids.

          On the other hand, with a few exceptions nobody came out of the closet until after graduation. I didn’t realize most of my male friends were also gay until years after we had struck up friendships. Nowadays kids are coming out earlier.

          1. Mr. FIFY

            Wait… is being gay the main reason kids get bullied, or not?

            Also, nice toss-in with “the dumb kids” comment. Almost missed that little crouton.

            1. T o n y

              You know, if you didn’t have any buttons to push, I wouldn’t be able to push them.

            2. Restoras

              In TonyWorld, dumb kids are irrelevant but annoyingly necessary – without them he and his buddies in the Future Totalitarian Club would have no one to rule over when they grow up.

              1. Mr. FIFY

                In TonyWorld, the only people that are intelligent, are the ones who went to college.

                Which is another reason why self-appointed “experts” have no business running our lives for us.

          2. “Of course it offered an array of advanced classes, thus segregating the student body quite a bit, and I really have no idea what went on with the dumb kids.”

            They told him he was in the smart class and he bought it, bless his heart.

      3. rac3rx

        “According to recent gay bullying statistics…”

        I couldn’t get past that one phrase. What the hell is “gay bullying”? All I can picture is some homo wearing a pink feather boa, a half shirt, skinny jeans, and clogs flouncing up and slapping your face screaming, “THOSE SHOES ARE SO NOT FABULOUS I SHOULD KILL YOU FOR THOSE UGLY FUCKING SHOES!!!!”

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Having seen a bunch of stereotypical “catty queens” act just like that, that is a thing that actually happens.

        2. I had a gay friend once laugh at the prospect of the idea of “Gay Panic” (where straight guys get all worked up over nothing and imagine that some gay guy is hitting on them which can lead to violence). He said, “the only gay panic I know is when I realize that I’m wearing a black belt with brown shoes.”

    4. Zeb

      Or just beat the shit out of someone for no reason. Then no one will fuck with you again.

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        This is very ? propos to the discussion.

    5. Auric Demonocles

      I hate these arguments that go “Look how bad the problem is! I feel like it’s bad!” In this case: if LGBT kids are that unsafe at school, show me evidence of their safety being threatened, not evidence that they are scared it will happen.

      1. That is another problem: self-reporting feelings.

        Not that teenagers have been known to exaggerate or anything.

        1. Auric Demonocles

          I’ve seen it used a lot for “Is this area unsafe?” with “I don’t feel safe walking home alone”. That doesn’t actually say the area is unsafe; you could just be a coward.

    6. Archduke PantsFan

      STOP
      We are supposed to LGBQT now.

      Carry on.

      1. Archduke PantsFan

        +use

      2. Mr. FIFY

        Why is “Q” included? It seems mighty redundant.

        1. Archduke PantsFan

          It’s more inclusive!

        2. Alack

          I’ve heard LGBTTQQ: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Queer and Questioning

          1. You forgot the “I” for “Intersex”

            1. And the “D” for Democrat.

              1. Mr. FIFY

                But “gay” and “queer” are the same thing, no?

                Shit, and here I have to go to work. Now I’m gonna miss the answer.

                1. JW

                  You’re going to make the bi-curious feel awfully othered.

                2. Alack

                  Nah, see, wanting to get fucked in the butt by a girl with a strap-on while sucking a dick isn’t “gay”, it’s “queer” (so long as you aren’t attracted to men, and do find women attractive). It’s a way to include people who aren’t strictly homosexual but don’t have traditional heterosexual desires.

                  Most people I’ve heard argue for this (including my girlfriend’s old transgender roommate) find no reason why bigamy or BDSM should be included in the label.

                  1. AuH2O

                    Y’know, not to be THAT guy, but getting fucked int the ass by a chick with a strap on is pretty fun.

                    And no way in hell would I call myself queer.

    7. Anonymous Coward

      If and when I produce offspring, I will, one their first day of school, give them parental license to punch other kids in the eyes and kick them in the balls (or vagina as the situation warrants), if they feel sufficiently threatened. I will, after the fact, determine whether any asskickings by my progeny were justified or not, then dole out punishment or congratulations as appropriate.

  4. Mad Scientist

    California’s controller has noticed that school district executives get huge raises soon before they retire

    Sure, sure, it’s just the school district executives. No need to look into similar shenanigans with cops, firemen, prison guards, city managers, Caltrans, regents, judges, prosecutors….

    1. Episiarch

      Color me shocked.

      1. hamilton

        You’re getting colored a bunch of things today Epi.

        1. Episiarch

          It’s a colorful day.

          1. Mr. FIFY

            So… Epi is a colored person?

            1. Episiarch

              I’m very tan, you racist.

              1. Mr. FIFY

                Hey, like Paul Ryan, I also was down with the swirl at one time.

                (Yes, it does matter, leftists. *REAL* racists wouldn’t dare date outside of their skin hue zone.)

                1. Restoras

                  You were swirlyed? Or you did the swirlying?

                  1. Mr. FIFY

                    We both swirled.

                    It’s a shame it didn’t work out… but we both got tired of (mostly) being bitched at over our interracial get-together, by (mostly, but not entirely) other black people.

                    1. Heroic Mulatto

                      I feel your pain.

  5. A Serious Man

    Britons slowly realizing that France has serious immigration and crime problems too.

  6. I’d post a link for everyone’s enjoyment, but there’s a been a fucking squirrel in a closet (used for storage) that I’ve been after all goddamn day. I’d shoot his little ass, but the angles in the room are all wrong.

    I set a trap. If I catch his little ass, he’s DEFINITELY getting fucking shot.

    1. I had squirrels in my roof last year. Trapped them all and brought them to a nice part of town about 2 miles away.

      1. Dr. Frankenstein

        The Reason servers HQ?

      2. Restoras

        Was that far enough away?

  7. Eduard van Haalen

    Just heard a report from NPR contrasting Obama’s “counterintuitive” Keynsian policies with the Republicans’ “bumper-sticker” policies.

    Now interviewing a Democratic entrepreneur, the head of New Belgium Brewing, who runs a brewery. Admits there are bad regulations, but the good way to regulate is using incentives, not leave people “to their own devices.”

    But she says she can’t get all that beer out the door by herself – lots of people help her. I think she was talking about workers, not the Public Works employees who build the roads.

    1. Yeah, well, if I had to pick which party is the bumper sticker slogan party, I’d say the Democrats are in the lead.

      1. No blood for oil
        Money is not speech
        Coexist
        . . .

        1. Eduard van Haalen

          They were talking about the Republicans’ alleged policy of responding to the economic crisis by cutting spending.

          1. That’s no slogan, that’s a fucking brilliant idea. Unfortunately, the Republicans aren’t really going to do that.

        2. Zeb

          What do any of those have to do with the Democratic party?

          1. They says stuff like that then do the same shit as the Republicans.

        3. “I Would Kill Romney”

          CHARLOTTE, N.C. ? A spokesman for the Secret Service told The Daily Caller that the agency is aware of video showing a delegate at the Democratic National Convention expressing a desire to “kill” Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney.

          “We are aware of it,” Secret Service spokesman George Ogilvie told TheDC on Thursday.

          He said the department is “taking the appropriate follow-up steps” with the woman.

          Video surfaced on Wednesday of a woman identifying herself as New York delegate Julia Rodriguez telling The Blaze, “If I see him” ? in reference to Romney ? “I would like to kill him.”

          In the video, Rodriguez says she’s from Puerto Rico but she now lives in New York. She expressed her desire to kill the Republican nominee after saying “Romney will destroy this country.”

          Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2012/09…..z25jAlthGY

          1. Fucking Sarah Palin and her politics of murder.

          2. Red Rocks Rockin

            I don’t know about you, but I’m utterly shocked that a Puerto Rican woman wanted to commit violence toward someone that made her angry.

          3. Anonymous Coward

            Eliminationist. Rhetoric.

    2. Eduard van Haalen

      Now the head of FactCheck is calling Clinton’s plan mostly accurate.

      1. Eduard van Haalen

        Clinton’s speech.

    3. Mr Whipple

      Video: Reporter Asks Democrats Who Built Their Businesses

      http://www.ijreview.com/2012/0…..usinesses/

    4. Mr. FIFY

      Shit… I now have to say “I used to like New Belgium’s products”.

      Fuck them. I’ll drink beer NOT made by the likes of this “Democratic entrepreneur”. There are hundreds of breweries out there… surely they can’t ALL be run by shitheels like her.

      1. Mad Scientist

        They have a couple of decent beers, but I can’t say I’ll miss drinking them.

        1. Mr. FIFY

          Their “Hoptober” offering is the suck. I simply cannot understand why anyone would *add* hops to an Oktoberbest-style beer.

          1. Mad Scientist

            I haven’t tried that particular variety, but it takes all kinds. I can’t understand why people put $3000 of stereo equipment into a $1000 Hyundai, but they do.

            1. Mr. FIFY

              I’m just kinda picky when it comes to hops… as in “really, *triple* IPA?”

              Never could figure out why people would want to drink something that makes them thirstier with each swig.

              1. Mad Scientist

                I’m not normally an IPA fan, but there are some very good ones out there. Bear Republic’s Racer 5 is fantastic.

                1. Episiarch

                  Dude, have you had this? Seriously good. Four bucks for a 12oz can, but seriously good.

                  1. Mad Scientist

                    It comes in a CAN!? Well, OK, on your recommendation I’ll buy some and give it a try. But if it sucks, I’m gonna tell STEVE SMITH where to find you.

                  2. B.P.

                    I’m not much of a beer drinker, but what’s the big deal with this stuff? My brother had me drag a bunch of it to North Carolina (I live in Colorado) since he’d heard it was the best pale ale around.

                2. Mr. FIFY

                  Oh, pale ale, I can handle. But my hops meter goes only so far, before it pegs into “can’t drink this” territory.

                  I’m all about the malt, yo. Give me a Breckenridge Vanilla Porter, and I’m a happy dude.

        2. Episiarch

          New Belgium’s stuff is total meh. Now, if I liked it, I wouldn’t stop drinking it over their politics–that’s just fucking moronic–but I go for Lagunitas anyway.

          1. Mr. FIFY

            Oh hells yeah. Wilco Tango Foxtrot – now that’s a fuckin’ beer.

            1. Episiarch

              HAIRY EYEBALL MOTHER FUCKER

      2. SugarFree

        They make Fat Tire, which I find vile.

        No big loss not drinking New Belgium any longer.

        1. Best. Beer. Ever.

          http://www.surlybrewing.com/

      3. Apatheist ?_??

        I’m already saying that. I won’t deny that they were a large part of my early craft beer discovery because they were easy to find and had a good variety available but there are just tons more better options.

  8. Mr Whipple

    Stock markets are responding positively to the European Central Bank’s bond-buying plan

    And here I thought it was Clinton’s speech.

  9. Brett L

    This is why I suspect that cats are far smarter than they let on.

    1. $park?

      You don’t fuck with the cats. They watch you while you sleep.

      1. Brett L

        When a cat licks you in your sleep, he’s actually tasting whether you’re ready to eat or not.

        1. $park?

          My cats just try to eat my toes off while I sleep. The bastards climb up the foot of my bed, under the sheets, to get at them. It doesn’t help that my feet hang over the edge a bit.

          1. Mr. FIFY

            http://theoatmeal.com/misc/frame/cat_kill

    2. Eduard van Haalen

      Disney needs to do an uplifting movie about a cat who works hard to learn dog language but can’t bring himself to use it in public for fear of being called a dog-lover.

  10. Brett L

    Feds seek prison time for Shepherd Fairey related to his Obama Hope poster. Too fucking precious.

    1. Well at least it goes to show that Friends of the Administration are subject to the criminal justice system, which is a nice change of pace.

      1. T

        Just ask the important question: who’d he piss off? Because they’ll sweep a lot under the rugs for people they like.

        1. Alack

          I believe that the rights for the photo his picture was based off of were owned by AP.

          So, the media.

          1. Mr. FIFY

            That’s his just punishment for helping Obama win. Fuck him and all like him.

  11. wef

    Stock markets are responding positively to the European Central Bank’s bond-buying plan.

    Debasing the currency tends to do that.

    1. Mr Whipple

      But, but, but…..

      THEY’RE STERILIZED!!!111!!!

      1. wef

        The “sterilization” trick, as far as has been explained to date, is to pay a little interest on banks’ weekly deposits at the ECB, thereby supposedly “holding” the liquidity – but the banks can still use those deposits as reserves on loans. Unless there is something else hidden here, the plan would not appear to mop up the liquidity that the ECB bond buying would be increasing. Anyway, the market does not seem to be buying the sterile story. And gold’s been climbing a little lately, and popped up over 1700 on the news.

  12. A Serious Man

    Apparently bath salts turn men into cannibals and women into exhibitionists. Woman high on bath salts strips naked in public part–for the second time.

    1. Brett L

      I would like to see more.

    2. Zeb

      1. Why the fuck do they keep calling it “bath salts”? There is a real drug in the stuff with an actual name.

      2. Who complains when they see a naked young woman on a building?

      1. Mr Whipple

        Who complains when they see a naked young woman on a building?

        An ugly old woman.

    3. dreamsandanguish

      So, will she be added to a sex offender registry now?

  13. $park?

    Interesting tidbit here: Drew Peterson found guilty of murder.

    The way they did it seems a bit sketchy though and I can only imagine that it will get overturned on appeal.

    1. Cdr Lytton

      Geez, sounds like the legislature just about passed a bill of attainder.

  14. rts

    A couple who used a gun to defend themselves during a burglary at their farm [in the UK] say they are “grateful and humbled” by support they have received.

    Rutland and Melton MP Alan Duncan said he was delighted the Crown Prosecution Service had decided not take criminal action against Mr and Mrs Ferrie.

    Sudden small outbreak of commonsense in the UK?

    The end is nigh.

  15. A Serious Man

    Todd Akin pulls even in Missouri Senate race. What do you make of that? Either Missourians agree with him or the ‘War on Women’ meme has been greatly overstated in its supposed effectiveness.

    1. Zeb

      Well, the opening day of the Dem convention almost had me wanting to declare a war on women and I couldn’t be more in favor of legal abortion and contraception and lack of sex distinctions under the law.

    2. Brett L

      Claire McCaskill is a worse alternative?

      1. A Serious Man

        She’s hated for being a Blue Dog by the left and for being a Democrat by the right, but last month all feminists were cheering about how this proves the GOP War on Women and that no woman in her right mind should vote for the guy…and yet here he is, right back in the race and rising. He’ll obviously need women votes to win, which is why I find it fascinating.

      2. Mr. FIFY

        In the “Shit Sandwich/Giant Douche” kind of way, Brett.

        1. Brett L

          I’m just saying, if his female, incumbent opponent couldn’t deliver a coup de grace with that kind of ammunition, the state of Missouri is obviously in a Giant Douche sort of mood.

          1. Mr. FIFY

            It has been for decades. Remember how John Ashcroft couldn’t beat Dead Mel Carnahan?

          2. Bobarian

            The state of MO is a giant douche thru the middle and shit sandwich on both ends, so…

            1. Mr. FIFY

              Hey, I live in this state, man. And I can tell you… all the shit is in Jefferson City.

    3. Red Rocks Rockin

      Maybe they figure if that’s the stupidest thing he ever says, he’s still light years ahead of Sheila Jackson Lee and Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

      1. Robert S

        Its pretty much all uphill from here, right?

    4. Anonymous Coward

      One, Missouri is a largely pro-life/anti-abortion state. Two, Todd Akin is well-known (maybe not well-loved, but at least grudgingly respected). Three, Claire-Bear has killed a fair number of coal jobs in Missouri, which has cost her votes from boothill voters but earned her the love of green energy whackos. All 9 of them.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Is there any evidence that jobless numbers are politically motivated?

    Some evidence of their accuracy might be nice.

  17. Translucent Chum

    Explosives aren’t collectibles?

    1. Mr. FIFY

      Yeah! Since when??

  18. Killazontherun

    So it’s celebrity babe night at the DNC? I bet Natalie Portman will take the opportunity to talk about the gay marriage abortion she had when she was fifteen.

    1. Auric Demonocles

      Nah. She’ll then a clip of Romney at the RNC getting applause (preferably after some statement involving WAR ON WOMEN) and then say “So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.”

      1. I guarantee a total Democratic loss if she even refers to the prequels obliquely. If she directly quotes one, Gary Johnson will stun the world and win.

        1. Auric Demonocles

          You have to admit, it would sort of be awesome just by how horrible it was.

      2. She’ll then a clip of Romney at the RNC getting applause (preferably after some statement involving WAR ON WOMEN) and then say “So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.”

        I actually got physically ill because I think this might actually happen.

      3. A Serious Man

        and then say “So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause.”

        That would require a tremendous lack of self-awareness since they’d make Obama Emperor if they could.

        1. Xenocles

          Since Liz Warren used her speech to run against a hypothetical Republican incumbent, what makes you think they aren’t up to the task?

  19. A Serious Man

    New York strip club argues that it should be exempt from sales tax because stripping is an art.

  20. Eduard van Haalen

    One good thing about living in Nevada:

    “‘None’ keeps place on Nevada ballot as injunction stayed, judge chastised

    “CARSON CITY, Nev. ? Nevada’s “none of these candidates” voting option will be on the November ballot following an emergency stay sought by the secretary of state’s office and granted by a federal appeals court….

    “A lawsuit backed by the Republican National Committee sought to get rid of Nevada’s unique ‘none’ voting choice. The GOP fears ‘none’ could siphon votes from the Republican candidates in what are expected to be tight presidential and U.S. Senate races….

    “In a polarized political climate and an electorate soured on politics, opponents think “none” gives voters an out from making a choice and that such voters would be more inclined to vote for a challenger, such as Mitt Romney, if “none” were eliminated.”

    http://www.washingtontimes.com…..nction-st/

    1. Eduard van Haalen

      Mitt Romney: Pepole will vote for him so long as “none” isn’t an option. And this is his *supporters* saying this!

      1. Dunphy (the real one)

        wow. talk about “damning by faint praise”

    2. ant1sthenes

      I would prefer if they gave people the right to vote against candidates.

  21. Obama’s speech leaked.

    1. Mr. FIFY

      Sweet.

    2. I’m just not sure that’s the real speech.

      1. Sure it is. Oh, he may riff on it and change some wording, but listen to it tonight and tell me that’s not dead on afterwards.

  22. Gladstone

    Has this been posted?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..r_embedded

    Regardless of where you live, you’re gonna be owned by someone at some point. I think the American government so far has been a fair government and I don’t necessarily hate that I’m owned by them at this point

    1. Holy sweet Jesus. And we were such an independent people once.

    2. Killazontherun

      I’d say satire is dead but if you asked them what they felt about Romney’s plan to bring back slavery you’d get an episode of Jay Walking that wrote itself.

    3. Killazontherun

      Also, the very guy you are quoting, after seeing him in the video I bet he is of such weak disposition, I could talk him into following me home, mow the lawn, clean out the gutters, and then sleep at the kitchen door to guard it for me.

      1. Killazontherun

        following mow clean sleep

        At one point there was agreement in that verb formation.

  23. Joe M

    Just got an e-mail informing me that this election is widely viewed as one of the most important races in the past 50 years!

    1. Mr. FIFY

      Funny… I’ve heard that same shit the last half-dozen election cycles.

    2. Episiarch

      The “widely viewed” is the part that gives it away.

  24. Eduard van Haalen

    “I would never call a redneck a name,” and other words of wisdom from Dem Party delegates – Daily Show baits delegates to claim their party is tolerant while denouncing people on the other side.

    http://www.thedailyshow.com/wa…..-inclusion

    1. Killazontherun

      “I called them evil. Even before it was appropriate actually.”

      Wait, is that Bill Murray?

  25. Dunphy (the real one)

    “Interesting tidbit here: Drew Peterson found guilty of murder.

    The way they did it seems a bit sketchy though and I can only imagine that it will get overturned on appeal.
    ”

    i’ve said it before, i’ll say it again – the war on domestic violence has done a lot to erode civil liberties. there have been several cases, all DV , that erode the right to confront the accuser against oneself, that have expanded hearsay exceptions, and that have substantially eroded due process.

    i’ll be curious what prof. volokh has to say about this, but from what i know of hearsay exceptions (and god knows I have testified to hearsay many many times, had it introduced as evidence in various trials, etc.) this sounds BOGUS.

    don’t get me wrong, peterson is a murderer imo. iow, i have little doubt he’s a killer, but eroding the constitution to convict him is still a complete violation of the principles behind our system of justice.

    “They had no physical evidence tying Peterson to Savio’s death and no witnesses placing him at the scene. They were forced to rely on typically barred hearsay — statements Savio made to others before she died and that Stacy Peterson made before she vanished. Illinois passed the hearsay law in 2008, making the evidence admissible at trials in rare circumstances.

    1. Dunphy (the real one)

      The hearsay included friend Kristin Anderson testifying that Savio told her Peterson once warned her at knifepoint, “I could kill you and make it look like an accident.”

      Stacy Peterson’s pastor, Neil Schori, testified she told him that her husband got up from bed and left their house in the middle of the night around the time of Savio’s death. Drew Peterson later coached his fourth wife on how to lie to police, Schori said.

      Peterson’s attorneys have said they may appeal all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court on grounds Illinois’ hearsay law is unconstitutional.

      “It’s a very dark day in American when you convict someone on hearsay evidence,” Lopez said.
      “

  26. Here we go again:

    Fark response to a Reason article.

    1. Hoo boy! There were 2 today!

      1. Dunphy (the real one)

        i don’t get it. maybe i don;’t understand Fark, but i clicked on their reason link where that quote allegedly came from and it doen’t exist in the article or the comments.
        wtf?

        1. They do that a lot.

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