Obscenity

D.C. Leads the Nation in Swearing at Work. Fuck Yeah!

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cheney

Washington, D.C., leads the nation is swearing at work, according to a new CareerBuilder.com survey:

62 percent of workers in the Districts say they've dropped a four-letter word or two (or three) in the office according to a survey conducted by Career Builder.

Following closely behind was Denver, where 60 percent of employees have potty mouths. Chicago came in third with 58 percent making regular deposits in the swear jar.

The remainder of the top ten:

  • Los Angeles – 56 percent
  • Boston – 56 percent
  • Atlanta – 54 percent
  • Minneapolis – 50 percent
  • Phoenix – 47 percent
  • New York – 46 percent
  • Philadelphia – 44 percent

Of course, the potty mouths go all the way to the top. Our current and former vice presidents sure love to drop the f-bomb.

In related news, people are a bunch of fucking hypocrites, with 81 percent saying that cursing in the office brings an employee's professionalism into question.

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  1. My workplace alone should put Seattle at number one by a mile.

    1. I would swear a lot if I had to share a building with you too.

      1. That’s pretty much the crux of it. Oh, and fuck you.

        1. Does it count as swearing when every day I have to scream, “who the frak jarked off in my frakking coffee?!”

          1. No, that just makes you sound like Starbuck. Who, it turns out, WAS SOME KIND OF FUCKING ANGEL OR SOMETHING?

            1. What the hell are you talking about? I watched all three seasons of that show and I don’t recall that happening.

              1. You dope, there were three and a half seasons. It was quite strange of them to only do a half season for the last season, but hey, at least the ending made sense, right?

            2. Hey you fuckstick, put a goddamn spoiler alert before you go be a dickface!

              1. No spoiler alert needed for a series that ended like 3 years ago.

                1. Rosebud was his sled.

    2. My workplace alone should put Seattle at number one by a mile.

      I wanna work where you work. Where I work, cussing is frowned upon– calling your professionalism into question.

      However, I’ve noticed that being a fucktool and completely incompetent doesn’t seem to bring anyone’s professionalism into account. Strange that.

      1. Modern American Professionalism is entirely about compliance. Dress Properly, Speak Properly, Use the appropriate templates and formatting in your emails and documents.

        Efficiency, Productivity, and Competence have fallen completely by the wayside. (and THAT is what drives jobs overseas.)

        1. (all of which is driven by the progression public-sectorization of the economy.)

          1. -ssion to -ssive

  2. People swear at work? In the few workplaces I have been in, it’s considered a gateway into something more serious like sexual harassment.

    1. …I guess routine slips of the tongue have occurred, but you had better have worked up some kind of credibility before you can get away with it.

    2. I have yet to swear yet but considering the amount of swearing the partners do it’s bound to slip out eventually.

      1. “Fuck this company, I FUCKING QUIT.”

    3. For me, it was a gateway into upper management.

      Fucker.

    4. in DC, it’s because of the high levels of education. Didn’t another article this week tout the degreed class there?

      1. Your Betters are not degraded by swearing the way you lowclass, tractorpullin, wifebeating serfs are.

        1. (IOW, The Taboo against swearing is for your benefit alone.)

          1. they are truly always thinking about us urchins. God fuck ’em, every one.

            1. What’s this “us”, you fucking urchin.

    5. I swear at work, but only in front of certain people. When we like-minded souls are together the naughty words are flying left and right. Otherwise, we’re on our best behaviour.

      I assumed it was like that everywhere…

  3. Just gotta ask: How did Norfolk place in the list?

    1. You don’t think that the workers there pronounce it “Nor-fohllk” do you?

    2. Navy bases are not allowed to compete with places that curse like civilians.

      1. well, there’s plenty of good reason Norms aren’t allowed to participate at the Special Olympics.

      2. I’ll bet this has something to do with DC coming in on top. Damn near everyone up here is military or ex-military or wanna-be-military.

  4. Speaking of swearing, the guys who brought us Trailer Park Boys are launching a website for their future endeavors in comedy called Swearnet.

  5. Boston, I am disappoint.

    1. It would probably be higher but the survey didn’t understand what they were saying.

      1. Best. Laugh. Of. The. Day.

    1. She looks bitchy, but I would fuck her inside out.

  6. “I never liked you. You know why? You don’t curse. I don’t trust a man who doesn’t curse. Not a ‘fuck’ or a ‘shit’ in all these years. Real men curse.”

    1. “They’re gonna like you, you faggot fuck.”

    2. “Fuck you, Captain Yardley. Fuck you very much.”

    3. “Course you gotta clean the waffle out with a stick afterwards, but you can’t have everything, Amirite? Am I right or wrong?”

  7. If you want your town to be the capital of swearing, just elect Martin Scorcese mayor. His films have the record for most usages of the word ‘fuck’ and its derivatives. In fact, I think ‘Hugo’ was his only film that doesn’t use the word at least 200 times.

    1. I was just about to say something about Scorsese. The amount of swearing in his movies is just incredibly stupid.

    2. I worked in a place like that; full of ex-Army guys. After a while, any use of fuck had as all the impact of ‘green.’

      1. GREEN?! How DARE you.

        *faint*

  8. Sad news: English actor Bob Hoskins to retire due to Parkinson’s. I loved him in The Long Good Friday, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and, of course, the Mario Bros. movie.

    1. I’m glad I’m not the only person who has a fondness for Super Mario Bros..

      1. The video game was better.

    2. Don’t forget Hook, asshole.

      1. Don’t forget Brazil, assholes.

          1. You NutraSweeted your link. That makes you like NutraSweet. You disgust me.

            1. With the preview button a cruel squirrel joke my linkage has become hit or miss.

        1. Brazil is a documentary, so it doesn’t count.

          1. And what do you think Super Mario Bros. is, some fucking game?

            1. I still wake from nightmares of hordes of turtles and lil mushroom lookin fuckers, me ducking into a piece of upturned sewer pipe, my botanically granted ability to toss fireballs all that stood between life and death.

              And the fucking Princess never delivered on her promise of veterans’ benefits. The PTSD keeps me from seeking employment in my pre-war plumbing profession. (I get in the cabinet, and the sight of those pipes….Oh God, it’s all coming rushing back!)

        2. God that is such a great fucking movie.

    3. Parkinson’s…..too bad Hoskins wasn’t the 1st to be diagnosed with it. Hoskinsins is a much better name.

  9. Roadhouse Remake Script 4 Sale. Could Be A Smash Hit? (Grand Blanc)

    OPENING SCENE

    Night. A bar in the Flint area. (It also serves some of the best eats in the USA. Cheetos on anything for $1. Sammies are all piled high. The works, really. Full spread.) A kickass neon sign says, “Captain Karl’s Pizza Ship.” Van Halen is on stage rockin’ so hard. There’s chest beefers from coast to coast. It’s pretty much the biggest celebraish anyone’s ever seen. Guy Cooler (played by Guy Fieri) is hangin’ out behind the bar, peepin’ all the babes and makin’ sure everyone’s safe. The owner, Captain Karl, is doin’ a new dance that’s sweepin’ the nation called “The Peener” with 4-6 consensual babes, ripe with all the toppings. Drippin’ with sweat (the wet look) Karl decides to play the hot corner for a cold one, and calls Cooler over for a guy to Guy.

  10. There’s no way people in Minneapolis curse more frequently than people in Philadelphia. This survey is based on self-reporting — my guess is that people in Philadelphia just don’t realize that they are cursing.

    1. They probably thought Uffda was a curse word.

      It is just the Norwegian equivalent of aloha. You can use it for just about any situation.

  11. I don’t like the comparison between Dick Cheney and Joe Biden. Biden is talking one on one with someone who is (presumably) a friend. He did not intend to be overheard. That is stupid, and he should have known he would be overheard, but …

    Meanwhile Dick Cheney is saying “fuck you” on the senate floor. He said it publicly, as an insult, and he meant for others to hear it. This is the difference between me saying “I had a fucking awesome weekend,” while at the lunch table with a friend/co-worker and being in a committee meeting and saying “fuck you” to a co-worker when I didn’t like their presentation.

    Or course all of this is stupid – it is just a fucking word, and I don’t really understand the power it has to shock.

    1. being in a committee meeting and saying “fuck you” to a co-worker when I didn’t like their presentation.

      Especially since the appropriate response is, “Yo, Fuck That Presentation!”

    2. come on. Biden was talking with the president a foot from a thousand microphones. It’s not like the NSA caught him from a mile away.

      Frankly, I wish a few more pols would say “fuck you” when the situation demands it. This mealy-mouthed politi-speak about being troubled or concerned or some other hand-wringing shit is absurd. When someone acts like a horse’s ass, they deserve to be called out being a horse’s ass.

      As for shock value, the impact is lost due to overuse. If anything, a significant segment of the population would lose the power to speak if fuck were stricken from the language.

      1. what the ****, that’s ******* ********, ****wad.

        1. exactly. In some instances, profanity is like performance art, as with drill sergeants and certain baseball managers. Other instances, not so much.

          1. Cussing is an art. And listening to 14 yr olds when playing FPS games talk on their headsets brings that home… they have so much to learn.

      2. Frankly, I wish a few more pols would say “fuck you” when the situation demands it.

        See Chris Buckley’s “Boomsday.”

  12. This is a big fucking deal.

  13. You can’t post comments on #IAmLibertarian article.

    You go too far Shackford!!! To Far!

  14. Sounds like one heck of a plan to me dude.

    http://www.Gettin-Private.tk

    1. anon bot is getting in on the jokes now.

      God Help Us All.

  15. i thought Philadelphia was top of the list in web online survey but surprisingly i was wrong.

  16. Where is Ken from?

    His unwavering crusade against the using the c-word always made me think of the right wing socons who always turn out to be in the closet.

    I always wonder if Ken turns away from the computer after admonishing us for costing libertarians real power because of the over use of the word cunt and lets rip with about 15 f-bombs and other vulgarities at anyone nearby.

    Could he be throwing the crown to DC singlehandedly?

  17. Who the fuck wrote this fucking code? Are they fucking stupid? My grandmother knows more C++ than this fucker!

    Oh wait, I’m the one who checked that in. Fuck me.

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