Hit & Run

A.M. Links: Taliban Storms Hotel North of Kabul, Moody's Downgrades Big Banks, Obesity Threatening Planet


  • you're killing me smalls

    The Taliban stormed a hotel north of Kabul, taking hostages, and fought with local security forces, who received NATO aerial support, for hours.

  • Moody's downgraded the credit ratings of Goldman Sachs, JP Mogran Chase, Bank of America, Barclay's, Deutsche Bank, HSBC and nine other banks because they "have significant exposure to the volatility and risk of outsized losses inherent to capital markets activities," Moody's global banking managing director Greg Bauer said.
  • Michael Bloomberg is still considering whether to sign a bill that increases penalties on taxi drivers convicted of felonies related to sex trafficking. The measure received a negative response at a public hearing and the mayor had previously said it's not always easy to tell who's a prostitute. Critics note cabbies may not want to pick women up late at night. But don't worry, says a city councilman: "The bill is very specific. This took months of negotiation. We did not want anyone singled out, and it does not single anyone out based on what they look like." Months of negotiations, people. You can't just let drivers pick pedestrians up and take them places in exchange for cash. This is New York!
  • A teacher would not apply sunscreen on a pair of students on a "field day" at the Washington school, even though one suffers from albinism and is sensitive to the sun, because that's the law, damn it.
  • A new study says obese people's extra weight is the equivalent of an additional 272 million people on the planet. "The ecological implications of rising population numbers will be exacerbated by increases in average body mass," the researchers said.
  • The Oklahoma City Thunder lost four games in a row for the first time in three years, losing the NBA Championship to the Miami Heat in the process. 

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  1. The measure received a negative response at a public hearing and the mayor had previously said it's not always easy to tell who's a prostitute.

    Does the passenger look like this?

    1. If that's a prostitute, she's servicing a small and very select clientele

      1. Niche markets in everything, ifh.

    2. I'm interested in the mayor's apparent experience in trying to sort professionals from amateurs. Tell me more, Nanny B!

      1. Eliot Spitzer has offered to consult.

    3. I'm surprised Bloomberg doesn't favor labeling requirements wherein women have to clearly disclose what it will take to get them in the sack.

  2. Pron 4 John!

    1. I like how they had a picture zoomed in on the breast... as if they had to do that.

      1. Hey, they have papers to sell and page views to draw in!

    2. WTF is an Amber Rose?

  3. More pron 4 John!

    1. I know I am not the John you are teasing - but I'd hit that so hard that if any man could pull me out, he'd be made King of England.

      /solidarity amongst Johns

      1. Sorry, Colonel, but I draw the line at knee-back fat. It's dangerously close to cankles.

        1. Two words, sloop: dat ass

          1. Ha. I can agree with both of you...

          2. I'll finish your sentence for you since the squirrels must have cut it off.

            dat ass...is too fat to be parading up and down the street in jeans that James Spithall would be happy to see raised as a new mainsail for USA-17.

  4. New York's finest:

    Nude painted model frisked

    1. They had to find out whether she was carrying any narcotics like cocaine, or inhalants like paint-thinner or, y'know, paint.

    2. You never know what kind of weapons a 5'3" 90lb woman might be carrying under her paint!

    3. She is really sexy in the get up in a kind of Star Trek Kirk will fuck anything kind of way.

      1. +1

    4. Oh, NYPD. Is there anything you can't ruin?

    5. Whoa! Nice pic.

      If I had been in Times Square the police would have had to retrieve her from the secret compartment in the back of my van.

    6. They arrested her for being nude but kept her nude after she'd been at the police station for a while? I'm thinking they didn't have a problem with it so much as wanting to parade her around.

      1. The boys in blue know how to share with each other.

    7. The 5'3, 90 lb. beauty was then held in the juvenile delinquents' room for about two hours before she was released without being charged.

      WTF? Did they think maybe she was underage, or did they just put her in the juvie room so she wouldn't be in with everyone else? If the former, then that makes the frisking even more creepy.

  5. Fed's Lacker Says Operation Twist Won't Help Growth, Jobs

    Federal Reserve Bank of Richmond President Jeffrey Lacker said he dissented from the Fed's $267 billion extension of its Operation Twist program believing it would spur inflation and not significantly help the economy.

    "I do not believe that further monetary stimulus would make a substantial difference for economic growth and employment without increasing inflation by more than would be desirable," Lacker said in a statement today from the Richmond Fed.

  6. Humping Humbpacks! (whale pron)

    1. Really? How could you waste the pron for John joke on any link other than this one?

  7. Man's children put up for adoption because he's too fat.

    1. The money quote

      A judge ruled the boys would be put up for adoption, claiming the man would have struggled to keep up with his daily weight-loss program as well as caring for his the children.

      Better to be molested by thin foster parents than have a fat dad who loves you.

    2. Straight from the Friday Funnies!


    3. The man told the Ottawa Citizen: 'I can't believe the judge called me extremely overweight. The judge didn't take into account how much I had lost.'

      Can the man now sue the judge in one of their sensitivity courts or whatever the fuck they call their thoughtcrime courts?

      1. Guilty of Othering in the Second Degree!

      2. Those laws don't apply to the Vanguard. Just the Plebs.

    4. Where was this judge when I was growing up? My (actually abusive) mom was/is at least that fat. On the plus side, I was only in danger if/when she could catch me which due to her weight wasn't often.

  8. Mischa Barton running around in her undies!

    1. Damn girl, you got on some giant panties.

      1. what, you don't have a granny-panty fetish?

        1. I suspect it's not even panties, but rather a tennis skirt put on upside down.

      2. Laundry day?

        1. In college, I made a point of saving my nicest clothes for laundry day. My thought was that if people saw you going to class in hole-ridden pajamas they'd assume you were unclean and unproductive, but if you were randomly wearing a three-piece suit and freshly shined shoes they would think that you had something impressive happening that day.

          I rolled the policy back after I had professors try to eat breakfast with me, assuming I was one of them.

          1. I'm assuming this was all before you were a libertarian, as the monocle and top hat would have taken the edge off any outfit.

          2. Those poor professors, forced to eat breakfast in the cafeteria!

          3. I rolled the policy back after I had professors try to eat breakfast with me, assuming I was one of them.

            I think I would have rolled with it just to see how long I could keep them convinced that I was one of them. Shouldn't be too hard as long you claim to be a liberal arts professor.

            All you'd have to do is regurgitate the latest social pseudo-science BS and talking points from the NY Times, and you probably could have kept it up for at least a year. Not to mention make them lok all kinds of stupid.

    2. How embarrassing. A Noel Gallagher video?

  9. Charlie Sheen blames Dave Chappelle for losing his job!
    'Remember the scene where he's a blind white supremacist who doesn't know he's black? It's f****** hilarious. I'd never seen it, and I laughed myself into a hernia. That is 100 per cent true. It''s his fault. There you go. Dave Chappelle cost me my job.'

    1. Leave Dave Chappelle alone!
      It's not like he has a job either!

      1. Sure he does - all that ganja is not going to smoke itself y'know!

        1. That's great work if you can get it.

    2. Yeah, that's one of the funniest bits I've seen.

  10. Worldcom convict gets $7.5M loan guarantee from Obama's stimulus

    His loan was guaranteed as part of the USDA's rural development program. "The borrower demonstrated strong repayment ability, sufficient security for the loan and the loan saved jobs and helped meet the tremendous need for health care in rural Mississippi," the USDA told Bloomberg, which reported on the loan.

    Myers was eligible to receive the loan because his felony conviction came more than two years ago. "I understand what the costs of my actions were to me personally, to my family, to the people that invested in WorldCom," Myers told Bloomberg. "I can never allow something like that to ever happen again."

    1. Without RTFA, why is the USDA worried about healthcare anywhere?

    2. I seem to recall that Worldcom has always been in bed with the Dems. Weren't some Clinton cronies in bed with Worldcom before it got caught being all fraudy?

      1. I thought that was Global Crossing.

        1. Must be what I was thinking of.

  11. some opponents are worried the bill could make cabbies afraid to pick up passengers who are provocatively dressed late at night

    Obviously the solution is to ban clothing between the hours of midnight and 6 AM.

    1. Doesn't their religion already do this?

  12. School calls cops on kid for excessive studying!

    1. Actually it was trespassing, not studying. You're as honest as usual.

  13. Men at Princeton owe it to women to become beta so that professors can push women to value their insights so that they may present them readily. You know the women of Princeton generally come from really tough backgrounds. They are never little snowflake princesses who have been told they are special or anything. They need help.


    1. And the U of Minn - Duluth is leading the charge against white privilege! It's about time someone stepped up to the plate.

        1. I got pulled over in the last few weeks b/c the cop said "you weren't wearing your set belt" - which I absolutely was.

          I was driving an old car with a ponytail (me, not the car) smoking a blunt (tobacco only) in a conservative part of mostly rural MD (yeah, there's like 127 conservatives in MD and I'm smack in the middle of them) pretty sure he thought he was about to make a pot bust.

          Trust me - profiling isn't limited to just people of color. Don't fit in and you're immediately suspicious.

          1. Get a haircut and quit smokin' that wacky weed, you goddamn hippie!

            /your neighbors

      1. then there is always the ultimate beta male statement, the apologizing for my privilege video.


        1. That made me throw up a little, in my mouth.

          That vid just dried me up like the desert in high summer. I need to go sext my husband now. Thanks.

          1. Seriously, could any women be happy with that?

            1. Even if a woman says she wants that kind of supplication, she doesn't, and will be continually mystified at the tingles she gets from assertive, aggressive male sexuality.

              But women love to lie to themselves.

              1. But women people love to lie to themselves.

                It ain't just women.

            2. Yes, women who don't like any actual men could be totally thrilled by it. Heterosexual women? Hell no.

        2. Gee, thanks for shrinking my testicles this morning.

        3. "We can create great miracles together."

          The look on that guys face says he is not on the same page as the others.

        4. Music from the album "Edges of the Soul" by Harold Grandstaff Moses.

          Grandstaff? Phallocrat!

        5. That's funny.

          1. That's funny.

            Actually, I find it more sad than funny.

            1. I saw it as an elaborate parody.

              Intentional or not.

        6. A shame that The Stranger promo'd that. A great and awful paper.

        7. Jesus! I made it to 1:33 but only in an attempt to determine whether or not it was spoof.

    2. Beta goon: "Sure, that vascular troglodyte is getting laid now, but just think of all the respect sex I'll be getting when my female friends realize what a nice guy I am!"

      1. OK, that there is one of the funnier things I have read in a while. +++++1

      2. Those words will haunt him 10 years later as he kneels, naked but for the ball-gag, cuffs, grandma's panties and hot tears, while the only woman who is aroused by his weakness, Mistress Ava, fucks a vascular troglodyte in front of him

        1. Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

    3. but he actually tries to get the young men in his classes to act more like the women?to speak less and listen more.

      Every woman in my life has been the exact opposite of that, yammering on endlessly about irrelevant tripe... so I don't think he's saying the men should "act female" in general, just that they should not try to dominate the class discussion. Whether I agree with that, I don't know, depends on the specifics of the class.

      1. but he actually tries to get the young men in his classes to act more like the women

        So they're nice to each others faces in class, while talking shit about them behind their backs, and turning even the most insignificant turn of phrase into a shaming of epic proportions?

        1. He said acting like women, not acting like politicians and the media.

          1. I guess it's no coincidence that the entry of women into politics coincided with this.

  14. 400lb woman waits for bus naked, arrested before John can have sex with her!

  15. Nancy Pelosi: "Don't forget. They're going after Eric Holder because he is supporting measures to overturn these voter suppression initiatives in the states. This is no accident, it is no coincidence. It is a plan on the part of Republicans."

    1. The racism approach have lost traction this quickly?

      1. Voter Suppression = Racism

    2. Yes, a plan to prevent Democrats from stealing the election through vote fraud. The bastards!

    3. Yeah, what's a little gun smuggling, murder and mayhem compared facilitating vote fraud.

      Shows where her priorities lie.

    4. Remember... asking for photo ID to attend an Obama fundraiser == Valid security; Asking for photo ID to vote == racist.

  16. Death count in Afghanistan reaches 2000, and unlike Iraq (BOOSH!), nobody cares.

    1. Media bias is just a right wing meme. MNG told me so.

        1. He lives on in John's inner monologue.

          1. If MNG didn't exist, John would have to invent him.

            1. The lingering memory of stupid things people say is the only bulwark we have from people saying stupid things; or, don't say something stupid and that way it can never be thrown back in your face.

    2. Don't worry, by January the anti-war movement will be re energized.

  17. Uruguay smartens up on Mary Jane.

    1. Sort of.

  18. Greetings from Tampa airport, where I was neither fondled nor Rapescanned going through security. They saved that for the two handicapped elderly people ahead of me.

    Do you think I should file a complaint? Is the smell of yak vomit so offputting I can get a cheap thrill from the TSA?

    1. It's not the smell, dear Brett L, but your obvious lack of junk to fondle that deters the TSA. Say what you like about the two handicapped elderly people ahead of you, they were bringing it in the pants department

      1. Holy bucket of awesome, ifh...touche!

  19. I'm done.

    1. Interestingly, having that menu in a restaurant would be punishable by death in New York City.

    2. What would your last meal be?

      Personally I don't think I could eat in such a situation.

      1. I kinda like Ricky Ray Rector's choice of pecan pie for dessert.


        1. Save if for after the execution!

          1. Did the warden get to eat the leftovers?

      2. Bacon-wrapped little smokies, steak, something (salad-y) with bleu cheese dressing on it. A burger with olives on it. Huge mug of beer . . . following by turtle ice cream sundae.

        1. Unfortunately, I doubt they give you booze for your last meal. Or else I'd be downing a bottle of whisky/ey before the chair.

    3. Probably figuring he'd gorge in hopes that he could projectile vomit at the crucial moment.

      My last meal?

      New Mex style open face enchiladas (with the fried egg, natch.) Bacon, of course. For dessert, a bottle of Laphroig 18. All of it.

    4. one super-size order of McDonald's fries with extra ketchup and mayonnaise;

      I hope he got that artisanal mayonnaise from Brooklyn.

      1. You fucking had to go there, didn't you? You just haaaaaad to bring those motherfuckers up at 7:15 in the morning so you could completely ruin my damn day.

        1. Fun fact: Old jars of mayo make a nifty DIY alternative to Fleshlights. And they are 100% recyclable.

          1. That has to be one of the most disturbing sentences I've read yet this year. You have 6 more months to beat it, though, and I have faith in you.

          2. *barf*

            You. Bastard.

    5. I'm assuming he only requested all that so that when his bowels relaxed after death it would only create an even bigger mess. Just as one last "fuck you". That's probably what I'd do if I was going to be executed: go out in blaze of glory shit.

      1. No need to cross out the glory... it's a blaze of glory shit.

    6. "This pizza is too salty, and these fries aren't even crispy! I'm never going to eat here again, you can count on that!"

  20. Strassel: Axelrod's ObamaCare Dollars
    Emails suggest the White House pushed business to the presidential adviser's former firm to sell the health-care law.

    The White House and industry were working hand-in-glove to pass ObamaCare in 2009, and among the vehicles supplying ad support was an outfit named Healthy Economy Now (HEN). News stories at the time described this as a "coalition" that included the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America (PhRMA), the American Medical Association, and labor groups?suggesting these entities had started and controlled it.

    House emails show HEN was in fact born at an April 15, 2009 meeting arranged by then-White House aide Jim Messina and a chief of staff for Democratic Sen. Max Baucus. The two politicos met at the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee (DSCC) and invited representatives of business and labor.

    1. It is almost like they don't worry about ever being held accountable for anything.

    2. I'm seeing a quid pro quo here. Illegal? Only a jury can say for sure. I say let's find out.

    3. And the guy in charge of Health Economy Now was named Fox.

  21. Axelrod's ObamaCare Dollars

    The emails suggest the White House was intimately involved both in creating this lobby and hiring Mr. Axelrod's firm?which is as big an ethical no-no as it gets.

  22. IMF challenges Berlin's crisis response

    The International Monetary Fund on Thursday challenged Berlin's game plan for pulling the eurozone out of its crisis by advocating a series of short-term fixes that the German government has resisted.

    Christine Lagarde, the IMF chief, said eurozone leaders needed to prevent the single currency from deteriorating further by considering the resumption of bond buying by the European Central Bank and pumping bailout money directly into teetering banks.

    1. Yes the Germans should take advice from an organization that is not accountable for any action or advice it gives since it and its officers were given immunity from prosecution


  23. Michener is asking the school district to consider crafting a more "parent-friendly" policy on sunscreens, one that would allow parents to sign a waiver giving teachers permission to apply sunscreen while at school, or one that would allow teachers to act in their students' best interests.

    I've got an alternate solution. No more field trips. Make the precious darlings sit in class and learn if you must send them to public school. Soccer moms can ease back on the legislating us to within an inch of our lives protecting their spawn in their stead.

    1. No more field trips.

      This. Most of those kids are on their iPhones the entire time anyway.

    2. If they are too stupid to put on their own sun screen isn't that just a form of natural selection? Darwin and all.

      1. "She was putting on her sunscreen in a provocative manner. By policy, we had to expel her."

        1. They expelled her for putting sunscreen on?

          1. Actually, from the article I believe it said the law forbids students from bringing their own sunscreen without a doctor's note.

            1. Because when New Jersey isn't retarded enough for you, there is always Maryland. Sunscreen?

              1. How dare you bash My O'MallyLand!!

                /typical MD inhabitant

          2. I must confess: I made that up.

            I apologize for any consternation this remark may have caused the commentariat or the school district.

            1. The article is just as bad. You can't even satirize these people anymore.

        2. Takoma Park is actually an island of special stupid within the sea of stupid that is Montgomery county. If Bethesda and Rockville just are not stupid enough for you and you need a really special kind of aging hippy brain dead stupid, that is where you go. There needs to be a fence built around it to keep it from infecting the rest of the country.

          1. The Nuclear-Free Republic?

            1. True story. They spent thousands of dollars on new computers for the library there only to lock them in a closet because they were HPs and HP had worked on the nuclear program. Recently they got the city council to vote an exception and allow the computers to be used.

              The sad fact is that it is kind of a neat area of town. There are a lot of old bungalows and craftsman from the 20s. It is a great neighborhood in some ways. But where there could be bars and restaurants and decent places to hang out, there is a fucking food co-op. If you could evict everyone who lives there and replace them with normal people, in a couple of years, it would be the best place in the city to live.

              1. I house-sat there during my fellowship--very nice neighborhood. Especially given that I was staying in Capitol Hill before that.

              2. Don't forget about the $2Bil Inter-County Connector, an expressway to get the richest freaking people in the country to their kids' soccer games before the second half.

                Paid for, of course, by taxing the shit out of the few Team Red counties who'll never get within 50 miles of DC in their life.

          2. Don't go back to Rockville and waste another year.

            1. That song really is about that Rockville.

              1. I know. So don't waste another year there. It's a horrible place.

                1. It is not that bad. The downtown is nice. As DC burbs go there are worse. Better Rockville than McCain, home of the $800,000 crappy split level.

                  1. The split-level. "Gosh, honey... I mean who wouldn't want to park their car right under the living room and have a series of four-step stairs all over the fucking place? Now that's living!"

                    1. And the tacky rich can't bear to live out that far. So they are tearing down all of the great old garrisons and colonials from the 30s and building tacky mcmansions. Why the fuck can't they go to McClain and erase all memory of post war modern from the face of the earth?

                    2. There indeed are some architects that should be horsewhipped, naked through the streets of suburbia.

                    3. Somebody should write a book addressing this from a libertarian perspective.

                    4. I live in a split-level, but the garage isn't below anything. For summer it is great, because we can just live in a different level of the house each season.

    3. I've said this a number of times... if I was a teacher I would never ever go on field trips and I would never ever ever go on field trips that involved staying somewhere overnight.

    4. Or perhaps the fucking soccer moms can stop accusing anyone who even glances at their special snowflakes for more than 2 seconds of being a pedophile.

      While I realize the article states the policy is supposedly related to "medication" at school (since when is sunscreen considered medication?) and the overblown fear of allergies, I have a feeling the real issue is fear of lawsuits over teachers "touching" students to apply the sunscreen.

  24. Europe Still Doesn't Get It
    The Continent's latest solution points back to the problem?the euro itself.

    Europe faces withered economies and double-digit unemployment rates from Ireland to Italy. Now, after yet another summit, Europe's wise men and women have hit upon yet another fix. This time, they're pushing universal deposit insurance across the Eurozone, in which the people of any nation in trouble would be bailed out by people in other euro nations: Spanish bank depositors, for example, would pay for rescues of Greek bank depositors if Greek banks failed, and vice versa. The new idea, like many before it, ignores the problem at the root of the European crisis: the euro itself.

    1. "C'mon you damned Hun taxpayers, just one more straw on yer backs!"

  25. "This is really to protect other students who could be exposed to various medications that they could be allergic to."

    Sheesh, talk about short-sighted! Those students could be exposed to allergy-producing medications outside of the school's jurisdiction!

  26. A woman from western Sweden is facing a hefty fine after she tried to get a free lift home by telling police she had just committed a murder.


    1. Isn't that basically the same punishment Sweden doles out for murder?

    2. This is why Sweden needs more police brutality.

      1. Perhaps we could export some. We have more than enough here.

  27. The teacher refusing to apply sunscreen was probably very smart. Would you rather be in the news for denying sunscreen or for allegations of abuse for improper touching?

    1. +1

    2. Reminded me of this Bill Burr bit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KyMhpzNNlM

    3. Am I the only one who uses the spray-on stuff? It's just as effective and I don't have to worry about getting accused of molestation by one of my other personalities.

      1. What?! And risk arrest for inhalant abuse?!

      2. It's just as effective

        You must not be a ginger.

        1. Yeah, no kidding, I can smell the soul on him like I'm Darla and he's a thousand gypsy-cursed Angels.

        2. You must not be a ginger.

          That may be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

        3. Anagram racist.

      3. I've found that stuff hard to get on properly without rubbing it around (so what's the point?!). Also it's flammable:

        Man Applies Sunscreen, Catches on Fire

    4. she could've just handed the lotion to the kid so the kid could apply herself. Common sense, the most undervalued skill in a teacher. You can't just be all "procedures were followed" as a teacher, that's strictly for cops.

      1. she could've just handed the lotion to the kid so the kid could apply herself.

        While saying this

        1. I loved Joe Dirt.

          /person in front of me at the grocery store when I said to my daughter, "it puts the lotion in the basket" twice the other day.


          /me in response to that person

          1. Did you proceed to throw spooge in their face? Because that's the only appropriate response.

            1. I nearly pummeled him with a bok choy.

              1. Some of the taro roots I see at the grocery store would be more effective.

  28. One of Sandusky's six adopted children, Matt, has just told the authorities that he was abused by him as well.

    I had no idea that this sick MFer has six adopted children. I guess now we all know why. My guess is he's abused every single one of them.

    1. Well, not if he adopted any girls.

      1. Well, not if he adopted any girls.

        Sodomy works about the same either way.

        1. "Ew. Touching little girls?!? That's gross."

          /Jerry Sandusky

        2. Is there any evidence he's actually attracted to girls? At this point I'm pretty sure his wife is just the most loyal beard ever.

          1. 6 adopted kids, 0 familial kids? You might be right.

        3. They all look the same from behind.

          I once dated a girl that told me that when she was in high school she asked a guy why he slept with her. He told her that he wanted to know what it would be like to sleep with a guy and she was so skinny he thought she would be a good approximation from behind.

        4. I hadn't heard any allegations about abusing girls, but it could just be lack of opportunity, I suppose.

    2. No, No, he just "enjoys" young people!

    3. Some of those kids came from homes with fat parents. So they were still better off with Sandusky.

  29. Retiring Dem, people have gotten dumber


    He has a point. But I don't think it is the one he thinks he is making.

  30. The attack, quickly claimed by the Afghan Taliban, again showed the ability of insurgents to stage high-profile raids even as NATO nations prepare to withdraw most of their combat troops by the end of 2014 and leave Afghans to lead the fight.

    Was this supposed to be an enticement for NATO to leave or stay?

    1. Why don't they hold a Hollywood fundraiser instead.

      1. They don't want to draw dollars away from Liz Warren's campaign.

      2. They should impose a tax on the pensions of retired legislatures and judges that served during the sterilization era and use that to pay reparations.

        1. If you're thinking a 100% tax, I'm in.

    2. Where is Margaret Sanger when you need her?

    3. I love pointing out that when Justice Holmes said that taxes are the price we pay for civilization, this is what he had in mind.

  31. The ecological implications of rising population numbers will be exacerbated by increases in average body mass,"

    No, Gaia made us fat to sequester all the excess carbon.

  32. PETA finally has a chance to realize their dream of a vegan utopia - captive breeding and release program to make the world vegan!


    1. Lone Star. Allergic to meat. This does not compute.

      1. No kidding. It's an East Coast thing, apparently. I live in dread of a day when bacon and steak have to come off my menu.

        1. Full disclosure: I am a vegetarian and have been for two decades. But I HATE PETA with a fucking passion.

          1. I was a vegan for 10 years. Now I'm the anti-vegan.

            1. Did you drive a prius as well? Self-important, smug, holier-than-thou SOBs. At least the ones I have met.

              1. nah... I was pretty insufferable (started being vegan in college) in the beginning, but it tailed off after awhile.

              2. I was a vegan for about 9 years as well. I very quickly got tired of being asked why and people telling me why I was wrong to do it and so never became an insufferable preacher. I'll eat what I want and you eat what you want and we won't have to worry about sharing.

          2. I've had friends who decide to go vegetarian and then feel compelled to support PETA.
            The worst was PETA2 or whatever that targeted the young and rebellious by going for a straight-edge nouveau sort of thing. That one fooled a lot of my friends.

            1. Seriously, I joined Peta2 when I was in college thinking that it was going to help with things like giving livestock better living conditions. Then the emails came, holy shit!! Crazy!!!

          3. As is, I'm a semi-flexitarian, as weak as that sounds. 🙂
            It basically just means that I eat vegetarian a few days every week, and much less meat than most people on other days, but reserve the right to chew the heck out of a burger.

            1. I'm the same. I started skipping meat to save money in college and have kept it up for the simplicity. While I'm not an environmentalist, I still don't like to use more than I have to, and eating meat every day seems like a lot of wasted energy and resources for the benefit. But to each his own, the taste may be worth it for others.

    2. If meat triggered anaphylactic shock, I'd stop eating it. Anything less than that and I'd suck it up for at least an occasional black and blue steak

    3. I've developed a couple of random allergies over the past 5 years and have pulled roughly a great gross of ticks off me in my life. This news worries me; I may never step foot in the woods again.

  33. Ah, Jezebel... You double standard a comforting in how predictable they are...

    Black guys not let into a private club? Spittle-flecked rage.

    Skinny people not let in a gym? Ranges from "Meh" to "Great idea, I don't like those thin fuckers watching me jiggle!"

    1. Doesn't deciding whose thin enforce a patriarchal view of body image?

    2. I don't like to watch fatties jiggle myself, which is why I use my weight bench at home.

      1. And turn the mirror towards the wall?

    3. Being thin is a life choice. Make it and live with the consequences.

    4. I love the comments on that first one.

      "that dress code is racist"

      "Well, they don't let in any color people wearing that stuff, but you're right, it's racist"

      "It's to keep gang violence out"

      "why don't they put stuff that white gangs wear, then?"

  34. The Atlantic's Ta-Nehisi Coates sums up his view of the current state of American race relations:

    Over the course of the Obama presidency I have become convinced that no single force exerts a greater pull on his presidency than white racism. Not white resentment. Not white populism. White racism. I don't know how else to explain a health care denounced [sic] as reparations, the rather continuous disrespect, the sense that he is a Kenyan illegitimate or all of the attendant theories. I do not know how else to explain a state like West Virginia, arguably the most racist in the country, where delegates are now refusing to endorse the president.


    I have a suggestion Ta-Neshi, liberal policies suck and people hate them. Oh I forgot the ideology is never wrong.

    1. I do not know how else to explain a state like West Virginia, arguably the most racist in the country, where delegates are now refusing to endorse the president.

      Wow, talk about lack of self-awareness, not to mention lack of imagination.

      1. It is not like the country is in the middle of a horrible stagnation with high unemployment or anything.

        1. And its not like Obama isn't doing everything he can to fuck the coal industry in the ass, which just happens to be a very big deal in WV.

          1. Yep. The billboards, bumper stickers, etc. in PA, WV, KY talking up Obama's opposition to coal are getting to be quite prolific.

    2. That's some retarded shit right there.

      Let's see:
      I've never seen health care denounced as reparations. I have seen it denounced as a government takeover. Is that racist?

      Bush got continuous disrespect from his political opponents (and even some of his party members). Was that racist?

      Birtherism might well be racist, but it's out of the mainstream and can't explain more than a fraction of the opposition to Obama.

    3. I read TNC pretty regularly.
      He embodies a certain perspective on racial issues that is worth understanding.

      I may not always agree with him, but he is always clear and honest. No hedging or manufactured outrage, and I'll take that where I can find it.

      1. The guy thinks that people oppose Obamacare because it is reparations for slavery and you think that he doesn't manufacture outrage?

        1. What I meant was that his outrage is not manufactured.

          1. What I meant was that his outrage is not manufactured.

            So he's just sincerely crazy? OK, I guess. Not a reason to pay any more attention to his ramblings than the bum down the street who shouts curses against grocery stores while masturbating in the dumpster.

        2. TNC is a thin skinned douchebag.

          Fuck him.

        3. I analyzed this argument at Urkobold a couple years ago.

      2. TNC is an authoritarian thug who banned me on the entire Atlantic website after a single post he didn't like. It took a while to let me post there again.

        1. I hope you only went there to troll, because the comments there are like a cross between NYT Team Blue sycophants and the mongoloids that post at USAToday.

          1. When Megan McArdle was there, on could do more than trolling on theatlantic.com. Now, they are in the full Team Blue mode.

            1. what, even Conor F?

              1. Totally. Just the other week he castigated unreasonable Tea Party Republicans who don't want to accept a budget balancing deal with spending cuts equal to 10 times tax increases. Because all reasonable, old-school Republicans would take it in a heartbeat. Conor F. didn't bother to inform his audience why conservatives or libertarians can be apprehensive about a deal that raises taxes now and lowers the projected growth of spending some time in the far future. The influence of Frum and Sullivan is strong in him.

                1. Conor F. didn't bother to inform his audience why conservatives or libertarians can be apprehensive about a deal that raises taxes now and lowers the projected growth of spending some time in the far future.

                  Goddamn I hate that bullshit.
                  "The Republicans want to destroy the economy. We promised we'd hold the football for them this time, but they just want to destroy the economy."

    4. I just decided that my O-hate pretty much boils down to the fact that he has people named "Ta-Neshi" adoring him. Hmm, maybe Ta is on to something.

    5. Over the course of the Obama presidency I have become convinced that no single force exerts a greater pull on his presidency than white racism. Not white resentment. Not white populism. White racism.

      Funny how going out of your way to piss on working- and middle-class whites will lead to that impression.

      Coates will be crying when the last white man in America isn't pedaling hard enough to keep the generator going.

  35. "Although the largest increase in population numbers is expected in Asia and sub-Saharan Africa, our results suggest that population increases in the USA will carry more weight than would be implied by numbers alone," researchers wrote.

    Are they implying the combined weight (and therefore needs) of the U.S. population is greater than the combined weight of the Chinese population? Does this lack of sustainability make my ass look fat?

    1. We better work on our population distribution. We might cause North America to tip over.

    2. The increased incidence of obesity in America is resulting in a skewed distribution of mass on the surface of the earth which may cause an alteration of the earth's orbit.

      Where do I collect my research grant?

  36. Obama looks to capitalize on shift in presidential race's momentum

    But over the last week, an embattled Obama seemed to find his footing.

    Besides the deportation decision, an announcement Wednesday to claim executive privilege over documents sought by House Republicans in their battle with Attorney General Eric Holder also seemed to unify Democrats and energize Obama's base.

    Like the deportation story, the fight over Holder shifted the topic from the economy, something GOP strategist Karl Rove said could play into the White House's hands.


    1. So the more abusive and scandal ridden his administration becomes the more fired up his base gets? Maybe he should try going Sandusky on the girls next, that ought to really firm up his base.

      1. ...really firm up his base

        If you know what I mean

    2. But over the last week, an embattled Obama seemed to find his footing.

      Right around the 43% approval level.

    3. Tim Tebow seemed to find his footing at the start of the 2nd quarter by completing three of his first seven passes...

  37. Washington Post writer pissed that people raised so much money for the bullied bus monitor:

    "I mean, does $460,000 for verbal abuse really make sense when kids go to bed hungry, when medical research needs funding, etc., etc., etc ."

    Well, I wouldn't mind those particular kids going without their supper.


    1. Slacktivism at its best. A few months ago it was Kony. What was last months' cause?

    2. People are hoarding money and not giving it to the state?

      An outrage!

    3. Kids have gone to bed hungry for all of human history. Does really make sense to do anything given that. Does it make sense for this douche bag to have his bike or DuPont circle apartment or whatever other hipster bullshit he owns when kids are going hungry?

      1. He doesn't want to give up his stuff to feed the fat kids.

        He wants you to give up your stuff to feed them.

    4. I liked her comment on it, something to the effect of "These people are all telling me that I'm amazing and that they love me, but they don't eve know me!"

      If I were her, I'd just say "Thanks for the money, suckas!"
      This is going to be that druggie-DJ thing all over again.

      1. I'm not sure who the druggie DJ is.

        But given that life is unfair, a bus monitor getting a windfall is the kind of unfairness I like.

    5. Sorry, if you can't take kids making fun of you you shouldn't be a goddam school bus monitor. What the fuck did she think kids were doing on the bus that they needed a monitor in the first place!

      1. Yes, she should have taken one of her numerous other job offers.

        1. Anyway, I'm not so much sympathizing with her as endorsing bloody vengeance against the kids.

      2. Behaving like rotten punks, like all middle school kids. In the old days, she probably could have restored order by smacking one or two of them upside the head.

  38. Is it to early to light the dunphy signal? I never can remember.

    You guys are gonna love this one. It's sort of a Keystone Kops, but only if the Keystone Kops were collectively having a roid rage episode.

    1. One officer was hit in the leg by a stray bullet as a trio of officers shot the dog on the night of March 30, and in the confusion that followed, a large group of officers arriving at the scene thought someone in the house had shot the officer, according to the suit.

      I feel terrible for the dog, but God that is funny. Stupid fucking baboons. They don't even qualify as human beings anymore.

      1. The shot the dog ten times.

        What the fuck is wrong with these people hominids?

        Seriously WTF.

        1. I would take away their weapons. Them having firearms clearly creates a danger to officer safety. Lock up their weapons and issue them if there is some kind of a stand off or something.

          1. Probably only one or two of those shots hit the dog, though.

        2. As Anderson's husband met the officers in the front yard, the family's 8-month-old pit bull appeared. Anderson's husband said he would collect the dog and called for it, but the officers called out "Pit bull!" and began shooting, striking the dog in the head, legs and body and fatally injuring it, the suit said.

          Twatwaffles shot a puppy ten times. Bet their old ladies' vaginas took a beating that night. Puppy-murder boners don't go away after just four or five rounds of thrust-thrust-groan.

          Vile fuckers.

          1. Those pit bulls grow fast. Some of them have lasers coming out of their eyes as early as six months.

    2. [the] dog was shot 10 times

      It was reaching for a weapon, presumably

    3. Did we find the mythical good cop?

      She said she then met with Minneapolis police Sgt. Jerry Wallerich to complain. According to the lawsuit, he told her that the police action was done out of revenge due to the police officers' mistaken assumption that someone in the house had fired at them and advised her to sue the department to recover her losses.


      Anderson then called Wallerich, who told her to hand her phone to one of the officers. Anderson claims in her suit that she could overhear Wallerich telling the officers that they didn't have a warrant and should leave the home immediately.

      1. Well, we may have met the mythical "better than awful cop." The good cop would have investigated her claims and arrested the officers for their criminal behavior, such as burglary, trespassing (2nd entry sans warrant), assault, false imprisonment, etc, etc etc.

  39. OT:

    some more synth stuff of my own making. With a new iPad DM1 drum machine and an iRig, I've gone more and more soft synth.




    this time there is actually moving magic pictures to go along with the muzak.

  40. Some interesting material on Cuba's market reforms:


    Perhaps a grain of salt is needed, but still and interesting read.

  41. John,

    Fun continuation from yesterday's morning threads...Dick Vitale tweeted yesterday that the ND to Big12 was just a rumor and if ND eventually goes anywhere, it will be ACC.

    1. Vitale is a basketball guy. Of course he thinks that.

      1. But that is the point. Even the rumors dont have them joining the B12 in football, just everything else. Why would they destroy all of their other programs?

        However, the ACC has been clear, its all or nothing, no football, no joiny.

        But, this isnt about what Vitale thinks. Unlike the Dude, Vitale really has insider connections, he has had real conversations with real people.

        1. The Big 12 has some of the best basketball programs in the country. And frankly the ACC is not what it used to be in basketball. How many ACC teams made the elite 8 last year? How many made the final four? Programs like G-Tech and Virginia and Clemson and Maryland and Wake that used to be national powers are all pretty weak now. Outside of Duke and Carolina that conference is terrible. It is living on its rep. And even at the top, who won that KU North Carolina regional final last year?

          And this was supposed to be KU's rebuilding year. This wasn't even one of their better teams.

          1. G-Tech

            You are on the list.

            Only posers and weird Kansans ever refer to us that way.

            1. It is not my fault you haven't had a decent team since 2004.

              1. Not true. We had one or two decent teams after that.

                Decent teams make the tournament.

            2. John actually might be a weird Kansan.

          2. Your argument is like saying the SEC is awesome because Kentucky won the tourney.

            I guess you thought the Horizon was one of the best conferences in the nation for a few years too.

            The ACC is down though, this is literally the weakest it has ever been. But all these things are cyclical, and looking at more than a 3 year average, the ACC is still strong. Tech was in the finals within the last decade. UNC and Duke and Maryland have recent titles.

            Clemson has NEVER been a national power in basketball, you are being fucking stupid there.

            And Wake, except during the Duncan years, has never really been a power. Better than Clemson, but that isnt saying much.

            The last expansion hurt basketball, Miami, BC and VT havent pulled their weight. But that means the ACC is behind the BE. Not a huge fall. They were behind the BE for a few years in the 80s too, before rallying.

            1. Of course they're behind the BigEast. That conference has 32 teams in it, and they're in every major metro market in the NE.

            2. The conference has no depth. It used to be the seventh or eighth best team in the ACC was a pretty good team. Not any more. And no the SEC isn't good because one team won the title. But the ACC is bad because they only put one team in the elite 8. I am not sure the ACC is ever going to be what it once was. There aren't as many great players in the Carolinas as there used to be. In contrast, Texas high school basketball used to be a joke. And now it is fantastic.

              1. The conference has no depth.

                1 year.

                Try a 6-year rolling average like the NCAA uses for tourney payouts and try again.

              2. Yet Texas rarely puts more teams in the tourney than the Carolinas.

                College basketball recruiting is national now, possibly global for your real powerhouses. So what's happening in Texas high school gyms doesn't have a huge impact on just the Texas schools.

                1. "College basketball recruiting is national now, possibly global for your real powerhouses."

                  Needz moar Lithuanians and Senegalese?

            3. ACC basketball has always been Duke, UNC and whichever other teams are taking their turn at the top.

              Last year is was FSU. Years with only 3 top tier teams are weak years for the league, but other conferences dream of those kind of years.

              Tech destroyed our program by giving Hewitt the world's dumbest contract after making the finals. It was a 6 year perpetual rolling contract. On April 1 (roughly) each year an additional year was added on. So, if you fired him at the end of a season, you had to do it quick and buy out 5 years.

              The AD kept giving him "one more year" hoping it would turn around, because the buyout was too expensive. The new coach has things on the right path, I think.

              1. And that was a luck run to the finals. They didn't have that great of a year and got hot in the tournament. Why anyone thought Hewitt could coach based on one tournament run is beyond me.

                1. Ummm..what?

                  The year started off by beating UConn in the finals of the preseason NIT.

                  The ACC year was mediocre, but it wasnt a down ACC in 2004 and Hewitt won approximately 1 ACC* road game as a coach, so he basically had as good a year as possible that year.

                  But, I thought he did a great job with that team. The key was, the LEADERSHIP was left over from Cremins. Not the best players though. Hewitt had serious game management issues when he didnt have a great point guard like Jack to keep things running.

                  *this is not hyperbole, it might have been 2-3 in his 10 years, but ~1 is damn close.

                  1. Okay, it was hyperbole, he won about 20 ACC road games in his career.

                    They just all came early.

                  2. They lost 10 games that year Rob. That is hardly dominant. They were a top 20 maybe top 15 team that got hot in the tournament.

                    1. Take out ACC road losses and look again.

                      I know, that seems silly, dominant teams should be able to win conference road games. But this was a particular Hewitt hole.

        2. Any chance we can lock Dick Vitale and Stephen A. Smith in a room together?

          1. Hey, I like Stephen A. Smith. Vitale can suck it, though.

    1. He said his wife is angry at the domestic violence community.

      Is that a community of victims, perpetrators, or beneficiaries?

      1. Odd that her family can check all three of those boxes on the next census form.

  42. Elizabeth Warren is a jackass.

    1. I've never heard of that tribe.

      1. The Jackass clan is part of the Stupidho tribe.

  43. The Taliban claimed responsibility for the attack, saying that Afghans drank alcohol there and that there was prostitution and dancing. "These acts are illegal and strictly prohibited in Islam," said Zabiullah Mujahid, a Taliban spokesman. He added that: "Women dancers were sexually misused there."

    Remember folks, when in Afghanistan, fucking women dancers is haram. Fucking young boys dressed as women dancers is A-OK.

    1. There are certain aspects to certain cultures that I have a real hard time dismissing as mere cultural diversity.

      Cannibalism probably isn't the worst thing that happens in Papua New Guinea.

      Some seemingly aberrant practices are adaptive, like infanticide and geriatric euthanasia were among Eskimos. ...but some aberrant practices don't seem very fucking adaptive at all. Some of them are absolutely maladaptive.

    2. We used to call one of the local big shots/former militia commanders "Baron Harkonnen" - he was really creepy about 12 year old boys.

      Too many subscribers to the "Women are for babies, boys are for pleasure" ethic.

      1. Thanks.

        What a cunt!*

        *Is it OK to call someone that would sue an 11-year old kid that accidentally hurt them a cunt, even if they're a woman? Guys, can we get a ruling here?

        1. Definitely a cunt. Hell, Ken Schultz would probably agree (though he'd never admit it)

        2. OK by me. Bonus points for doing it to her face, for that matter.

      2. From the comments (emphasis mine):
        Robert Senn ? Top Commenter ? Sitting Down at US Goverment
        this is another frivelise law suit the little leage insurance paid all the bills she should be suad by the child for harrasment

        Top. Men.

        1. He must work with John

          1. Jesus Christ. His facebook page is like some typographical performance art.

            Why do morons make their profile open to all? Why?

  44. Hey, just in case you hadn't thought about it for a while, and with no relevant timing whatsoever, the Obama Justice Department wanted to remind you that Mormons are weird.


    1. Actually, those suits look exactly like what the DOJ should be doing.

      Politically motivated? Perhaps.
      Protecting minority groups from a tyrannical majority a good thing? Absolutely.

    1. Actually, slavery imposed as a criminal sentence (with due process) is still allowed under the 13th amendment.

  45. Excellent Google doodle for Alan Turing's 100th birthday http://www.google.com.au/

  46. Reading contracts no longer important. At least they're not if you're the federal government.

    Bonus points for them renewing the lease twice before anybody caught on.

    1. The contract drawn up by the federal government

      "Oh, let Horace write this one. It's a no-brainer, and he needs to reach his quota."

  47. But, but, but...guns don't ever do any good.

    If this had happened in Chicago, New York, LA or Washington DC, we'd be discussing an Octagenarian dead in the street and an Acura in a chop shop.

  48. Europeans killing their economy with austerity measures:
    "BRUSSELS ? For most Europeans, almost nothing is more prized than their four to six weeks of guaranteed annual vacation leave. But it was not clear just how sacrosanct that time off was until Thursday, when Europe's highest court ruled that workers who happened to get sick on vacation were legally entitled to take another vacation."

    1. Why are you posting Onion articles as real?
      [clicks link]

      1. ?

        1. You must be new here, or you need new batteries for your sarcasm meter. Also fuck Sloopy, he's still in the doghouse for smashing Yuri Gargarin's mailbox when he was growing up in Gzhatsk.

          1. It's fucked up that we have Yuri's Night but no Neil's Day. July 20 should be a national holiday. As should September 17 (which technically is, but it isn't really).

            1. If we keep saying to ourselves that Sloopy smashed Gargarin's mailbox then we can make it true. I mean it worked spectacularly for the Keynesians. Maybe Sloopy can even get a Nobel Prize out of it for helping to end the cold war or something.

              1. That's fine with me. Why sloopy must suffer for his sins, it's better that history forgets this incident. Or dumps it on some fucking commie flunky.

    2. What happens if you really get sick while taking sick leave?

    3. What happens if you get sick on your day off? Another day off?

    4. My wife would love to have six weeks vacation. Unfortunately, she chose to be a European entrepreneur, the dumb bitch.

      1. Has she read This is why I Don't Give You a Job?

        I know it is from LRC, but is pretty good.

        1. I'm sure she would agree with it.

    5. How are we on immigration?

      Why can't we get all our progressive dillholes to move there?

  49. Hope I'm not posting this too late for AM links. Another cop-shoots-dog story, this time in my town of Kansas City. There is a cop posting comments anonymously, I already had a bit of a back and forth with him, and posted a bunch of links to Reason stories. Release the hounds!

  50. Nile will overwhelm you.

  51. Pretty one-sided to only point out the extra weight on fat people. Humanity should get some credit for the underweight starving people also. Maybe it balances out.

  52. The sooner the Taliban are wiped out the better. God Bless America

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