Brickbat: Without a Prayer

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Officials at Minnesota's Anoka-Hennepin school district have ordered Jake Balthazor, 15, to stop wearing a rosary. Balthazor says he was wearing it to honor his grandmother, who is battling cancer. But school officials say rosaries are a gang symbol and school rules bar students from wearing "any apparel, jewelry, accessories, or matter of grooming which by virtue of its color arrangement, trademark, or any other attribute (as a primary purpose) denotes membership in an organized gang." After local media reported the rosary ban, however, they said they would try to work out a compromise with the boy.

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  1. But school officials say rosaries are a gang symbol…

    The very worst gang of them all!

    1. Fuck dat! Franzizkinz 4 life!

      Where my mackerel-snapperz at?

      1. Yeah, the worst gang of all: one that asks you but does not force you to join them. And you can leave any time you want.

    2. I recognize a pattern. It is the cops and teachers who thrive on pushing people around. Abuse of authority stories don’t come from the post office or library.

  2. Wait, a gang symbol? Which gang, the Legion of Mary?

    1. Soldiers of Christ. Although I don’t know how you could tell he was Jesuit from the rosary.

  3. Wholly Jeebus – what is wrong with these douche nozzles in public education? They are so out of touch with the real world.

    1. I’m a near-militant atheist and I just can’t believe that at least one social studies teacher couldn’t find anything in their course material – which they’re bound by law to teach – that made it obvious that the school’s stance on this is wrong. Even _I_ would stand by a kid’s right to wear a rosary.

      I so worry for the future.

      1. First, they probably aren’t teaching anything in their course material that makes it obvious that the school’s stance is wrong. I mean those parts are all ooky, and contravene their sworn oath to the education workers union.

        Second, just because they’re teaching it, doesn’t mean they believe it, agree with it or even actually understand it.

        1. I was so disappointed when my 9th grade daughter told me how she was learning about the virtues of a mixed, as opposed to free market, economy. She sneered when she said lassiez faire.

          *sigh*

          1. Pay her for her chores, but tax her, and then see what she says

            1. Nice.

            2. Make sure that she knows that the reason you’re taking a good portion of her money is three-fold:

              1. She’s not smart enough to know what to do with it herself.
              2. She’d probably just spend it all on illegal drugs.
              3. Fuck you, that’s why.

            3. Don’t forget the entitlement programs. Take 6.2% and tell her she can have it when she gets to her mid-60s, assuming you are still around.

            4. With deadpan Hillary-esque smarm, inform her that you’re going to “take things away from her, on behalf of the common good.”

            5. I actually attempted this. My daughter was telling my why I should gladly pay more for the latest school levy, so when she got home with some baby sitting money I tried to scoop 30% off.

              She got the point and piped down about school money.

              Unfortunately the Supreme Court (my wife) ruled against my taxation plan and I was unable to collect.

          2. Let the government — you — make all the decisions in the clothes buying sector of the family economy for a while.

          3. Pi Guy, get her this book. Seriously.

            http://www.amazon.com/Economic…..0517548232

    2. Isnt minnesota heavily catholic? Pi, I am not sure that ‘out of touch’ really covers this one. Wow.

      1. Good point.

      2. I didn’t know all those Norwegian immigrants were Catholic.

        1. That sounds like an excellent punchline to a joke.

          1. The kid and his family are Lutheran. From reading his interviews, my guess is that he didn’t know that a rosary was Catholic.

  4. “denotes membership in an *organized* gang” [emphasis added]

    There’s the problem – the Catholic Church in this country isn’t organized.

  5. Wait, the Catholic Church isn’t a gang? When I left my local priest told me it was blood in, blood out. Are you saying I didn’t have to beat up a Presbyterian after all?

  6. Didn’t Buffy kill Balthazor at some point? Or was that the witches on Charmed.

  7. If only those children would wear the same uniforms, look exactly the same and show no individuality the work of the school system would be done.

    1. Reminds me of the scene in Pink Floyd’s movie The Wall where all the uniformed students experiencing Meat Indoctrination.

      (Link URL too long to post)

  8. After local media reported the rosary ban, however, they said they would try to work out a compromise with the boy.

    Probably something about him not wearing it and not being expelled.

  9. Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch
    Imma shoot you in the fucking crotch

    /gang sign, bitches

    1. Funny, I have a mental checklist of shit before I leave the house in the morning, and it sounds similar to your rhyme.

      1. Who’s the sucka who gets shot in the crotch by you every morning?

  10. “any apparel, jewelry, accessories, or matter of grooming which by virtue of its color arrangement, trademark, or any other attribute (as a primary purpose) denotes membership in an organized gang.”

    time for some clever kids to start a shirt and tie gang and force those administrators to expel themselves.

    1. Nope, that dress code is for *students* only. That’s why cops can be in the building.

  11. Well, obviously, she’s a member of the IRA.

    Duh.

  12. I got a “gang symbol” for ya school.
    *flips middle finger*

  13. The district’s student discipline policy forbids “any apparel, jewelry, accessories, or matter of grooming which by virtue of its color arrangement, trademark, or any other attribute (as a primary purpose) denotes membership in an organized gang.”

    “Trademark”?

    You mean like Hello Kitty??

    1. Look, only Cthulu cultists wear Hello Kitty stuff. (Unspeakable horror and all)

  14. Unsurprisingly, this seemed to somehow get omitted from the entry:

    The communications director for the Anoka-Hennepin School District, Mary Olson, said they were unaware that Balthazor wore the rosary to honor his grandmother. Olson also shared a letter they received last month from the police liaison about rosaries being used as gang signs. The letter states, “A new issue came up recently that is interesting regarding rosary beads. Some gangs do use them as clothing symbols. The gangs identified around here that have been using them are the Latin Kings and the Surenos.”

    Whether you think that it is effective policy to police what children wear, or whether school administrators should believe the sometimes hyperactive local “police liaisons” to schools, it is important to discuss what actually happened (a well-meaning but probably dim school administration failed to properly investigate even though they have good intentions) as opposed to what the Commentariat wishes had happened (some version of Another Brick in the Wall mixed with the Nazis).

    1. Why do you presume “well-meaning” and “good intentions” and not just “following policy?”

      1. Regardless, there was a basis for the administration’s concern, even if that basis was a foolish one. That needs to be reported and we can discuss it on those terms.

        The way the commentariat is, most presume that some sub-40 IQ hallway monitor said “hurr durr jewelry IS BAD”, which is not what happened at all.

    2. Also, Crips wear red, so no Cardinals’ apparel.

      We have it on good authoirty that many cardinals carry rosary beads as well, which means they are crips.

  15. Jake: What are we doing here?

    Elwood: You promised you’d visit the penguin the day you got out.

    Jake: Yeah? So I lied to her.

    Elwood: You can’t lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.

    Jake: No… fucking… way.

  16. Sometimes you jsut gotta throw your hands up in the air and shout, Whos your daddy!

    http://www.Anon-Browser.tk

  17. Stuff like this shows that the gangs have ultimate control over the dress code in public schools. They could really have a lot of fun with this…

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