A.M. Links: Morsi Wins Egypt Presidential Vote, Six Year Old Among Migrants Caught Crossing Border Illegally in Arizona, X-37b Lands


  • can't catch a break

    Muslim Brother Mohammed Morsi seems to have won yesterday's vote in Egypt, the conclusion to the country's first free elections. Official results are expect by week's end and the generals currently ruling the country promise to hand over power at the end of the month.

  • The Saudi king saw a second successor to his throne buried in Mecca over the weekend. The 89 year old king will now likely name the 76 year old defense minister, Prince Salman, as his successor. Half of Saudi Arabia's population is now under 25.
  • The death of an inmate at the Richmond City Jail in 2010 from a heat-induced heart attack has yielded a $10 million lawsuit against the Virginia city and the sheriff's office. An inmate previously died in 2008. The ACLU called conditions in the jail "punishing."
  • Deputy sheriffs in Maricopa County apprehended fifteen people illegally crossing the border, including a six-year old girl apparently no one in the group claimed. Sheriff Joe Arpaio ordered a majority of the violators to be held in the county jail, but handed the six-year-old over to federal immigration authorities.
  • The lawyer who threatened to sue the web comic The Oatmeal on behalf of FunnyJunk.com is apparently now suing The Oatmeal on his own because that web comic's owner, Matthew Inman, raised nearly$200,000 for the National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society (the attorney is also suing them, and the company that hosted the fundraiser) as part of his response to the attorney.
  • The Air Force's X-37b, a secretive space plane, successfully landed on Saturday after remaining in orbital flight for more than a year. The plane's mission and payload are classified, though the exercise was considered a test flight. Another launch may be scheduled for the fall.
  • Meanwhile, Liu Yang becomes China's first female astronaut in space as the Shenzhou-9 took off into space this weekend.

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    1. I will reserve judgement until I hear from Baked Penguin, H n’R’s own Fried Aquatic Avian.

      1. SIV posted this a few days ago. I’ll say now what I said then – the Adelies are a bunch of freaks. I don’t mock you because your ape relatives like to throw their feces, now do I?

        1. Yes you do. Almost daily in fact.

          1. Well sure, to you. But I still say even if you didn’t really direct 2 girls 1 cup, it has all the hallmarks of a SugarFree production.

            1. I am all primates, as I am none.

              1. A primate anywhere is a primate everywhere. Or something, something paraphrased.

  1. The NSW Ombudsman will face questions today about why his office, the Police Integrity Commission and Department of Corrective Services used software the NSW Police allegedly pirated.


  2. A monkey dressed as a cowboy rides a dog in a rodeo. And why not?


    1. Needs a tux, monocle and top hat. Spats would also be appropriate as well.

      1. Nah, I think lances and wee suits of armor.

        1. For a man who smells of yak vomit, you can be rather funny

        2. Ooooh, dirtbike chest armor and chaps

          Bonus points if you can get a mohawk and another monkey to ride bitch.

    1. Welp. Brace yourselves for the Black Death.
      This is how the world ends, etc.

      1. Not with a bang but a HURR DURR!

        1. Not with a bang but with a “I wonder what this button does” and then a bang.

          1. Not with a bang, but with a “hey, hold my beer and watch this…”

    2. So if a plague is an infectious, epidemic disease why is this still being called the plague when there are seven cases a year and it has a 16% mortality rate?

      1. Sounds congruent with Ke$ha’s fan base and her own personal virulence. The woman is worse than Typhoid Mary!

        The answer to your question is that is how it’s classified as it’s first discrete isolation. Incidentally, the vector for that infamous epidemic was the fleas the rats were carrying in their fur.

        1. The answer to your question is that is how it’s classified as it’s first discrete isolation.

          And I guess most doctors would be lost if a classification was changed.

          the vector for that infamous epidemic was the fleas the rats were carrying in their fur.

          Everybody knows that, Braniac.

          1. Excellent! You can buy the object of your affection one of these!

            1. A woman at my workplace has the whole collection on a bookshelf in her office. I stop by now and then and ask her if she’s picked up any new diseases.

              1. Those thing are so awesome! Not sure which one my favourite is though.

            2. I was dating a nurse around Christmas time two years ago and working at the state Dept of Health. She thought it was funny to “give me chlamydia” for Christmas. I thought it was appropriate to start double wrapping.

      2. Because we invented antibiotics. And if you started talking about Yersinia pestis, people would look at you blankly.

        1. Not me! I have two stuffed plague bacillus. And two rats, as well, since I couldn’t find a stuffed flea that didn’t give me the heebs.

          But then, my first research paper I can recall was on the Black Death, so it’s been an interest for a while.

          1. More on Y. pestis.

        2. You yell “Yersinia pestis,” everybody says “Huh? What?” You yell “bubonic plague,” we’ve got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.

          1. We’re gonna need a bigger needle.

    3. I think you guys are missing the best part of this: Einstein here decided it was a good idea to take a rodent out of the mouth of a stray cat.

      1. what, you’ve never been hungry?

        1. “This is a rat burger?”

          1. It’s probably the best burger you’ve ever had.

    4. Seriously? Its like you guys don’t even read my links. First the pervert penguins and now the plague. I swear to God, I’m getting the yak vomit fixed! Soon…ish.

      1. Was it a weekend link? I miss those frequently.

      2. You want hurt feelings? I post this in AM Links, and Gillespie runs it as a new story days later without a hat tip. You get over it, though

        1. You don’t suck cock as well as squids or Anal Vanneman.

        2. But I’m told you smell of flowers and sunshine. How can they mistreat you that way?

    5. Well, this is Oregon – the man was probably a vegetarian and thought it immoral for the cat to eat meat.

  3. FBI Recovers Rare First-Edition of the Book of Mormon

    Unfortunately not the FIRST edition, or the matching magi-specs.

    1. I thought there were golden plates? I might be confusing bullshit from different religions.

    2. See, I thought this was already covered. The LDS Church already has the plates, but the specs are missing. Of course, the “spectacles” are a metaphor for the encryption keys and algorithms necessary to decrypt the data stored on the plates. The Romneybot was originally designed to break the code, but somehow got released into society and managed to get elected to public office instead. The LDS church, intending to make lemonade out of lemons, now intends to use the resources of the NSA once Romnneybot is elecred to the Presidency and controls it.

      1. “The LDS church, intending to make lemonade out of lemons, now intends to use the resources of the NSA”

        That’s why Romney was “released”.

        1. The writings of John Maynard Keynes are just as bullshitty as what you’re pissed off about, shrike.

  4. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Betty White share a red tailed boa!

    1. I had no idea they were still alive.

      1. I don’t know who thought it would be a good idea to run Betty White’s stupid “Off Their Rockers” show. Like I really want to see a bunch of oldsters acting as if imitating a bunch of obnoxious 18-year-old trolls is funny.

  5. Dust off the foil hat… contrails!

  6. Emma Thompson != Emma Watson (John would…)

    1. Gravity is about as harsh a bitch as time.

  7. Wine-stain portraits

    And, yes, they’re that awesome.

    1. That is excellent. How does the artist control the stan forms so well?

      1. From her site, it seems to be something wax-related.

        Also on her site is her, as is always the case with artists, outrageously over-the-top description of her work:

        I create portraits by staining fabric with red wine using a wax resist (much like batiks) to build a light/dark pattern. I may decide to add embroidery (split stitch, to be precise) or machine sewing to reinforce the design or composition. The end result is a blend of chaos and control.

        A portrait artist at heart, I am particularly intrigued by the challenge of trying to control the unpredictable nature of wine bleeding through fabric in order to channel the equally imprecise nature of a person’s character. In addition, the sacred aspect of wine lends itself to religious iconography, reminding many of the Shroud of Turin: one who drinks wine may come to feel a certain level of saintliness sipping on this liquid form of divinity. So, this is a form of consecration.

        When I started making wine stain portraits, my equipment was rather crude, and I was melting dead candle remnants in a coffee can over a propane grill, painting the wax resist with a beat-up bristle brush, and using cotton bed sheets previously employed to protect tomato plants from frost. The first stains were made with a bottle of French Cahors, but subsequent stains feature Finger Lakes reds, like Damiani’s Vino Rosso, chosen for deep color and lowest residual sugars.

        1. one who drinks wine may come to feel a certain level of saintliness sipping on this liquid form of divinity

          Yeah, you daft besom, it’s called a buzz.

  8. The Hill Poll: Voters fear US could slip into a double-dip recession

    1. Voters always fear that.

      1. thanks for the deep insight. It really opened up new channels of discussion.

        1. Hey, shrike, your Team hasn’t fixed jack shit. Still gonna vote ’em back in?

    2. Havent we already? Wont the next be about dip 4?

    1. The day a Cracked.com writer can’t get weed is the day that site closes shutters.

    2. So he’s on anti-depressants? Unsurprising – if I wrote for Cracked I’d be downing the little buggers like MMs; to deal with the sheer futility of my life

      1. Some Cracked writers are aces (Seanbaby, Christina H). Others are humorless scolds (David Wong, John Cheese). Discriminate.

    3. And it’s probably just posturing to make Obama look tough on crime in the run up to his final election anyway.

      So they admit that he’s been campaigning for the entirety of his presidential term? That’s the only way the above squares with the past 3 years.

    4. What about Shoe Carnival employees?

      1. We wander broken and scarred through the shattered remains of our lives.

    5. That really sums it up. White liberals are never subjected to the drug war. They get their weed and coke just fine. So they don’t give a shit. If a few million minorities and poor whites getting locked up is the price to be paid for all those public employee union millions, so be it.

  9. No pictures of the Chinese astronaut?

    I am disappoint.

    1. Here you go, meet Liu Yang.

      1. That’s a man, baby.

        1. Well, its not gay if its chinese.

    2. I’m sure once Elon Musk gets his Dancing Spacettes program going there’ll be live, sponsored coverage to rival Atlas Shrugged: The Movie.

      1. And they can keep at it over a longer career – not having gravity to contend with…

  10. Justice Scalia’s new book appears to apologize for Gonzales v. Raich. He states that Wickard v. Filburn was a bad decision, but “because wisdom has come late,” that he “knows that there are some, and fears that there be many, opinions that he has joined or written over the past 30 years that contradict what is written here.”

    1. He states that Wickard v. Filburn was a bad decision, but “because wisdom has come late it involved pot smoking hippies,” that he “knows that there are some, and fears that there be many, opinions that he has joined or written over the past 30 years that contradict what is written here.”


      1. IOW: “I failed to uphold the Constitution as I’d sworn upon taking this job.”

        1. Scalia seems to think there’s a drug exception written in the Constitution. For exhibit B: Morse v. Frederick. Apparently, money is speech and all regulations of it is unconstitutional, but actual speech is not speech if it makes a reference to drugs.

      2. Hey, it’s not new professionalism for nothing.

    2. Oneline TLDRs for those two decisions would be appreciated.

      1. Wickard: wheat grown on your property is subject to regulation because your failure to buy wheat affects interstate commerce.

        Gonzales: weed grown in your backyard is subject to regualtion because of what we said in Wickard.

        1. Much obliged.

          1. Stare decisis looms large.

        2. Prepare yourselves:

          Wickard: wheat grown on your property is subject to regulation because your failure to buy wheat affects interstate commerce.

          OCare: money sitting in your wallet is subject to regulation because your failure to buy insurance affects interstate commerce.

          1. Way to kill a rage-boner, RC. You’re a regular cure for priapism.

          2. This is what worries me to no end. I can see some tortured logic to get to the decision they want.

            1. The easy decision, based on their cases since Wickard, is to uphold.

              The hard decision is to overturn.

              The tortured logic comes when they overturn and try to save the Wickard line of cases.

  11. It’s Not a Welfare State, It’s a Special Interest State

    The problem is that the concept of “welfare” has become an open, bottomless vessel into which every desire can be poured: Government takeover of the entire health and retirement systems; detailed regulation of employment; manipulation of money; subsidies for housing, education, energy, food; or anything else that strikes the fancy of some segment of the public.

    1. Yes, the word has lost its meaning from overuse by wingnuts. “Welfare” has become federal payouts someone ELSE receives.

      1. You should RTFA first before starting in on your wingnut schtick.

        1. Well, Fox News types bemoan “welfare” to a viewer base of SS/Medicare recipients (like my parents) who receive the vast majority of Federal payouts.

          Cutting non-elderly welfare out of the budget wouldn’t really dent it too much.

          1. IT is a good thing liberals don’t misuse the word by claiming that tax cuts are “welfare for the rich” or anything.

            God you are dishonest demonic little fuck.

          2. Cutting non-elderly welfare out of the budget wouldn’t really dent it too much.

            Really? Just to pick two non-elderly federal welfare programs:

            Unemployment welfare: around $100BB/year

            Food stamp welfare: around $80BB/year

            Call it 15% of the deficit, in those two programs.

            1. If you eliminate unemployment, presumably you’d cut UI taxes to employers. So it would net out much smaller than $100B.

            2. Aaaaaaand shriek disappears in a puff of logic once more.

          3. Well, Fox News types bemoan “welfare” to a viewer base of SS/Medicare recipients (like my parents) who receive the vast majority of Federal payouts.

            Considering that the ratio on these programs totals just a little over one worker for every recipient, you’re a moron if you think this is sustainable.


            Cutting non-elderly welfare out of the budget wouldn’t really dent it too much.

            Yeah, it’s only the 4th-most expensive item on the federal spending ledger.


            Eliminating it (or at least cutting off the payments at 26 weeks instead of this 99-week bullshit) won’t eliminate the deficit, but then again Medicare and Social Security “as we know it” is going to go down the crapper in less than 15 years. Better hope your parents are dead and in their graves before that happens.

          4. So, nothing should ever be cut, then? Not even spending increases for future budgets?

            Fuck off, shrike.

  12. ‘Deep down all girls want to be like me’: The woman who’s slept with 200 men, but insists she’s not a slut

    1. Yet another Ke$ha follower.

      On topic: How come men never seem to get called out for this type of tomcattery, either gay or straight? Jus’ sayin’.

      1. Nobody but the rare few men achieve such a thing. Most are lying about it.

      2. Well, first off, there’s the automatic discounting. A guy says he’s slept with 200 chicks, do you believe him? Or do you think to yourself “20, tops”?

        1. If she says she has slept with 200, that means, what, 600?

          1. That means 50 or 60 a year, and she really doesn’t keep count.

      3. Lord:
        If she keeps telling herself that she feels better.

        If a single key opens several locks it is useful and called a “master key”, if a lock can be opened by many keys then it is a pretty $#!+y useless lock. That is why.

        1. Nothing else need be said about it.

      4. On topic: How come men never seem to get called out for this type of tomcattery, either gay or straight? Jus’ sayin’.

        What, you have never heard of a man-whore? It’s the patriarchy, don’t you know.

        In all seriousness, I have no idea.

      5. I have a friend who claims to have slept with scads of women (including lots of prostitutes). It’s fairly common knowledge, but that doesn’t stop lots of women from still chasing him.

        1. There’s that odd desire women have to try to domesticate the wild man. I don’t get it, but then, I have a Y chromosome.

          1. I used to think that logic resided on the Y chromosome, but decided that was unfair.

            It resides on the X but is recessive, like the gene that gave Secretariat a huge heart.

        2. If he’s getting it regularly and easily, why is he paying for it?

          1. Even Clooney has dry spells. Hookers keep your fluid levels at an optimum during those times. Keeps the swagger the same and keeps the freebies coming.

          2. he was over in Iraq at the time, doing civilian work. For vacations, he would go to Thailand, Cambodia, etc and “blow off some steam”.

        3. That happened with an Air Force friend of mine a couple years ago. She hooked up with this contractor over in Qatar shortly after her engagement ended, even though she was warned repeatedly by her friends there that he was a manwhore and not very trustworthy. I even warned her that hooking up with this guy so soon after her engagement fell apart wasn’t going to be good for her emotionally, and that she wasn’t going to be anything more to him than a fuck-buddy for a couple months, but of course she went ahead anyway.

          In retrospect, I should have told her to throw herself into the whole thing right away and that I could totally see them married and having kids together. Then she might have actually used some common sense.

      6. Gay men are. Regularly. Don’t let the white knighting interfere your reality filter. And the reason that men aren’t called out for it is because of relative difficulty levels. Remember that article about that guy who had a sex change and then had hundreds of partners in a year? He wasn’t even really that passable. Possession of a vagina (apparently even a fake one) tilts the scale. A lot. No one congratulates an adult for winning a race with children, they just think he’s a dick if he keeps doing it. By the same token, if the kid wins, it’s to be celebrated. The relative differences in logging in those kinds of numbers is why the double standard exists.

        1. I’m aware of this, Coeus, and my filter is un-bespoiled. I did legitimately want to provoke some thought on the subject, and not an Epic Troll. Excellent serious commentary, BTW. But then, you always do contribute well.

          1. I’m aware of this, Coeus, and my filter is un-bespoiled.

            Good, I was afraid you’d been reading too much jezebel.

            Excellent serious commentary, BTW. But then, you always do contribute well.

            Molte grazie.

      7. On topic: How come men never seem to get called out for this type of tomcattery, either gay or straight? Jus’ sayin’.

        Short answer – being a slut is easy.

        Jim Jefferies, take it away .

      8. Cause its difficult to achieve for a man, hence laudable. Its kinda like how everyone gets excited about Brittney Griner dunking.

    2. I would put her in the “whore” category since that seems to be the way she makes a living.

    3. The only way you get to 200 is by not getting called back for a second go. Just sayin…

      1. That and banging anything that says “yes”.

  13. Giant Mushroom Cloud In Beijing

    The yellow and green haze led Chinese authorities to advise residents to stay inside Monday, according to Agence France-Presse.

    While rumors swarmed online about the cause of the unusual cloud, Chinese police arrested two internet users who said the pollution had been triggered by a chlorine leak at a chemical plant or an explosion at a steel refinery, notes The Economic Observer.

    1. Meanwhile, government authorities told the Xinhua news agency straw burning was the cause and denied there had been any industrial accidents.

      Because burning straw totally looks like a giant, world-ending explosion.

      1. If it were a chlorine gas leak there would be no question what it was.

      2. Who burns straw in June, and why?

        1. to distract people from the giant plume of chlorine gas spewing out of some shoddy commie factory

        2. we have several troll commentators who get their strawmen burned on a regular basis. Perhaps they have an answer.

  14. Look, I don’t like Arpaio – dude’s a scumbag.
    Buuut, when they say he “arrested” the 6 year old, what was he supposed to do? Leave her in the desert?

    The linked article is written like he did something off the wall. Yeah it might have been better to turn her over to CPS to be put into foster care but that only pushes the problem down the road – sooner or later the feds are going to come for her as an illegal.

  15. Emergency personnel from the Richmond Ambulance Authority arrived and found Sleeper in respiratory arrest and suffering from hyperthermia. They described jail staff as “standing around looking at him, no rescue efforts being done,” the complaint states.

    It was just too damn hot for CPR.

    1. Can they set tasers to heal?

  16. ‘When Do Cute and Sexy Young Girls Stop Looking Cute and Sexy? Death.’

    Women are often at their most fertile and attractive at the ages (18-22) that Swindle is describing. Men being attracted to women of this age is called normal. Should you act on it? Maybe not, but that’s not the point that Swindle is making. He doesn’t even seem to think that you should be fantasizing about women who are of age 18-22. Why not? Why should men only be interested in “mature women,” especially for a fantasy?

    When will men stop finding young women attractive? As Martin states, at death and maybe not even then.

    1. Well, watch NCIS from the beginning and you can chart the moment “Abbey” stops looking hot as a perky goth and start looking pathetic.

      Which is too bad they keep puching that look on her – Perrete is a decent looking woman, but she’s over 40. Abbey could be smoking hot instead of kinda pathetic.

    2. That original guy is a huge tool.

      A question for the men out there: at what moment in your life did you stop finding young women attractive? (And I don’t mean just jailbait. I mean 18-22-year-old ? legal ? but still looking young and girly.) When did the thought of youthful sex shift from a fantasy to a stomach-churning nightmare? When did the natural thought shift from “mmm? good time” to “I wonder what the daughter I have someday will look like at that age?” When did you stop being attracted to “sexy” girls and only interested in mature women?

      Stomach-churning nightmare? And he’s like in his 20s. Maybe if he just keeps it up, some 45 year old womyn will take pity on him and finally take his virginity. But I wouldn’t hold my breath. Most women find that fawning attitude contemptible.

      1. Well, it’s more of a guideline for dating than attraction, but the official Minimum Non-Creepy Relationship Age is to take half your age and add 7. If they wanted a factual answer.

  17. 12 year old runs up massive phone bill, father complains the carrier didn’t do his parenting for him


    1. Usch.
      That’s why my 2 year old isn’t allowed anywhere near the tablet.

      Put the kid on a payment plan. $2-3k isn’t that bad. He’ll pay it back within a couple summers.

      As a side-note: I love love love the staged photos of the kid holding the phone. “See, this is how I talked on the phone with my girlfriend. **holds it up** Yes, this very phone.”

    2. “Oscar said: ‘I didn’t realise how it worked. I’m 12 and I don’t know much about it. I feel really bad for my dad.”

      Then your dad should have explained it to you. When I got cell phones for my daughters I explained to them who they could call as much as they wanted — same carrier, later any mobile — and who they couldn’t. And, gee, it wasn’t ever a problem.

      1. So you actually parented? That is very good of you to do. Too bad others seem uninterested or incapable of doing so.

    3. Real Headline: “Dead-Eyed and Wind-Blown Demon-Child Has Girlfriend”

      1. Its England, dude. He probably has straight teeth and is therefore movie star good looking in English eyes.

        1. Once again, I give you Russell Brand.

            1. What’s up with Skeletor’s limp wrist there? NTTIATWWT.

  18. This is for you Groovus:

    Australian artist Nick Cave had been interested in working with Minogue since hearing “Better the Devil You Know”, saying it contained “one of pop music’s most violent and distressing lyrics” and “when Kylie Minogue sings these words, there is an innocence to her that makes the horror of this chilling lyric all the more compelling”.


    1. Needs moar bludgeoning.

      May I also point out this WMD?

      1. Yeah that sucks. But she was young and had a stupid hairdo. She got better and naughtier

        1. Oh you! You think I’m going to click that, do you now? Even you, spunkiest of spunkies, can not compel me to click that.

          1. Heavens, she sneaks an f-bomb into the chorus and you won’t give her even a few points for that? Tough crowd…

            1. When Monica Crowley is hurling F-Bombs as the title of her latest tome, it’s pretty passe at this point, lass.

              1. When dropping an F-bomb meant something.

        2. I miss 80s hair.

        3. I like her commercial work:


          (likely NSFW)

    2. Wait, which lyric is supposed to be “pop’s most violent and distressing lyric”? Did he miss Eminem Rihanna?

  19. Man whose stolen gun was used in shooting spree to be charged with murder.

    Yeah, so if someone steals your gun and kills people, you’re to blame… not the shooter! I just love modern criminal justice. And this is New Hampshire of all states.

    1. In other news: man whose spoons were stolen charged with murder in death of silverware thief who died due to complications from being overweight.

    2. The suit is coming from a Massachusetts law firm.

      In Mass, unless you’re a cop, then if you own a gun, you are considered by the state to be an evil depraved monster who would properly be sent to a concentration camp for reeducation if it weren’t for the evil right wing teabagging bitter clingers who want guns so that they can lynch blacks.

      And, they *hate* *hate* *hate* that in Vermont and in New Hampshire the state doesn’t agree with them and allows those evil nasty gun owners to live unharassed.

      If the legal system worked as advertised the Feds would deny to hear the appeal as it is a state matter.

    3. Read the article. He is being sued in civil court for negligence. He is not being charged with murder. The guy left his gun out and his pycho nephew stole it and went on a shooting spree. Even if you buy the idea that there is a duty to lock up a gun, I don’t see how the gun being used in a shooting spree is a reasonably foreseeable consequence of it being stolen.

      1. Or that it is negligent to have it unsecured in your residence.

      2. The guy left his gun out…

        Not really. From the article:

        While the gun was hidden under a hot water heater, it wasn’t locked up, and the door to the cabin didn’t lock properly…

        Woodbury, who hadn’t had a relationship with Secord for 14 years, didn’t know where the spare key was kept and had to break into the cabin…

        I don’t see how you could find the owner responsible for the deaths.

        1. Me either. And the theory is that he “didn’t lock it up”, which is horseshit. But this is a back door way to gun prohibition. Let this suit go forward and insurance companies stop insuring gun owners.

          1. But this is a back door way to gun prohibition.

            Needed more emphasis. 😉

          2. Didn’t the gun-haters try to hold gun manufacturers responsible for the deaths a few years back? I seem to remember NYC or some such place trying to sue them. I wonder if this it another angle on that?

            1. Yes they did.

          3. I always wonder how many layers of ‘security’ these people want me to have. Aside from my carry pistol, all the guns are locked in a closet in my locked house. Should I also lock each one with a trigger lock?

            How many locks do I need between the public and my gun before it’s considered secure, and why is that different from everything else I own? Nobody’s going to claim my TV wasn’t secure if somebody breaks into my locked house and steals it.

            1. T, they want you not to have guns at all!

              These vermin look at the middle ages, when peasants were at the mercy of rulers who literally had all the weapons as a good idea.

            2. Not only should your guns be locked in a closet with trigger locks, but the ammo should be locked in a different closet. Primers removed if possible.

              No matter how many locks you have, to these people they will never be secure enough.

              1. Oh, because of state requirements I am currently (voluntarily) subjected to, I have to keep ammo locked up in a seperate container as well. They have tried very hard to render my firearms useless.

                1. (voluntarily) subjected to


                  If it’s voluntary you’re not subjected to them.

                  1. Uh, yes. By volunteering with the state, there are certain requirements I have to meet. One involves storage of firearms. As long as I am volunteering, I am subject to inspection and must meet these requirements. I can walk away at any time, and then the requirements and inspections cease. Understand now?

            3. Nobody’s going to claim my TV wasn’t secure if somebody breaks into my locked house and steals it.

              Nobody’s going to be killed, wounded, or threatened with your TV.

              Owning a gun is not just a right but also a huge responsibility. You need to make it as difficult as possible for your guns to fall into the wrong hands. Trigger locks aren’t going to do much in that regard (they’re more for keeping children and stupid adults from getting into trouble) but a sturdy gun safe (at least for pistols) is a moral obligation if you can afford it.

              1. My guns are locked up in my house. That’s as far as my moral requirement extends. I don’t have to go further because of moral midgets who think it’s okay to break into my house and steal things. Claiming I, or anyone else, have a responsibility to go to extra lengths is blaming the victim.

                1. I don’t know about you, but I would be sick if one of my guns got stolen and was used to harm an innocent person. If your closet lock is very good then you can ease your conscience, but if it’s something that can be opened with a crowbar that wouldn’t be enough for me.

              2. Bullshit. The locks on my doors are enough. My whole house is a gun safe.

                1. I take it there are no windows in your house.

              3. Nobody’s going to be killed, wounded, or threatened with your TV.

                You never saw Grosse Pointe Blank, Im guessing.

              4. You need to make it as difficult as possible for your guns to fall into the wrong hands.

                Um, no, I really don’t.

                If you feel an obligation to go the extra mile, that’s fine, and I don’t begrudge you the right to Hermetically seal your guns inside a bank vault for fear of them falling into the dreaded Wrong Hands(tm).

                However, I feel absolutely no responsibility for what a thief might do with my property after stealing it.

          4. Let this suit go forward and insurance companies stop insuring gun owners.

            Wait, you can get insurance to protect you from liability for things that happen off your property? I mean, I know homeowners/renters insurance covers liability for (some) accidents that happen on the premises, but not this type of thing.

        2. the equivalent would be leaving your keys in a dresser. Someone breaks in, finds the keys, steals your car and oh, commits a robbery or does a hit-and-run (drink!).

      3. Read the article. He is being sued in civil court for negligence. He is not being charged with murder.

        How dare you insist on factual accuracy when there’s a good H and R rant to be made.

    4. So, if someone breaks into my house, steals my bottle of oxycontin, and has a fatal overdose, I’m responsible?

      As I recall, this has been tried before, and has failed, under the general notion that a criminal (and no one else) is responsible for their own deeds.

      1. Pretty much. There was a story not too long ago about a woman who stole her boyfriend’s drugs, OD’d, and he got charged with murder.

      2. under the general notion that a criminal (and no one else) is responsible for their own deeds.

        Tell that to the employers who get sued for poor security procedures when their employees get killed in robberies.

        Some goofball mommy is suing Western Psych here in Pgh right now for not having an invisible fence preventing someone from walking in and shooting her son.

  20. The plane’s mission and payload are classified, though the exercise was considered a test flight.

    Hunter-Killer prototype! Either that, or looking for a way to nuke Megaupload’s servers from orbit.

    1. Just stop it. That nickname is not only racist, but it is just flat-out stupid. What is it even supposed to mean? Whose momma is he trying to block from doing what? It makes me feel kind of sad inside every time I see it.

  21. ‘Dear TSA: I am not your customer’

    The TSA embodies a resource-wasting assault on liberty. The kicker is that it makes us no safer, so we aren’t even getting the extra security that supposedly justifies the indignities the TSA inflicts upon us. No review of TSA procedures will make a meaningful difference, nor will firings. The TSA never should have existed in the first place. It’s past time for it to be abolished.

    1. Guess who just made the list?

  22. Oil executive: ‘Very stressed relationship’ between industry, Obama White House

    Royal Dutch Shell’s top U.S. official credits the White House for recognizing the “strategic importance” of oil resources off Alaska’s coast, but says that overall, tensions between the industry and the Obama administration persist.

    “I think you see a lot and you hear a lot about it being a very stressed relationship, and that’s real. We should just be honest about the fact that that’s real,” said Shell Oil Co. President Marvin Odum in an interview with Platts Energy Week TV broadcast Sunday.

    1. And I guess it’s about to get stressseder.

    1. For a brief golden minute I thought the camera was being operated by animal voyeurs

    2. I love the “This is what a wilderness might look like” picture

    3. Well it is good to know that he’ll be compensated by the state for having automatic pictures of him on state land. I guess.

    4. Arnold Schwarzenegger?

      Although he probably wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if you caught him on film boning the maid or whoever. He doesn’t seem to care all that much.

  23. Plouffe: Republicans want ‘more war’

    White House senior adviser David Plouffe said on Sunday Republicans want “huge tax cuts for the wealthy, more war, more debt.”

    “They want to return us back to the same policies that caused the recession ? huge tax cuts for the wealthy, more war, more debt. And independent economists last week just said the Romney congressional agenda would cause us harm in the short term economically and slow down the recovery. So that’s the wrong direction,” he said on ABC’s “This Week.”

    1. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-2012.html

      Obama’s Harvard prof says he must be defeated. Reading it almost makes me hope he wins. The reason the guy has turned on Obama is that he thinks Obama is destroying liberalism through his incompetence and corruption. Maybe four more years of Obama is just what we need to finish the job.

      1. These communists are some ruthless SOBs, aren’t they? It’s remarkable how fast they’ll bury an axe in one of their own’s heads.

    2. huge tax cuts for the wealthy, more war, more debt

      Obama has done all of those things. It’s amazing these people can talk without foaming.

    3. Some douche was on Fox and Friends this morning saying the defense budget is already cut to the bone and removing even one more dollar will cause all of America’s enemies to gang up and destroy us.

    4. Plouff was all over the Sunday morning News shows, spreading the spin. I think he made all 4 networks. Impressive, even if they were taped.

    1. That’s the third-to-last link in the A.M. links.

      1. Dammit. I swear to Christ. I’m going away and coming back on Tuesday.

        1. This is a symptom of Patchouli Poisoning Syndrome. The end is nigh, Brett.

          Bucket. List.

        2. Someone has a case of the Moondays?

          1. Please tell me you don’t look like this, Kristen.

            1. Errr, no. No, not at all. Not in the least.

          2. I am going to sit here in my cubicle and cry for a while though. Don’t judge.

            1. Yet another symptom, Brett. Are your affairs in order?

            2. Only on Mondays?

              1. Ice: Its worst on Mondays.

                GM: I leave you my chlamydia plush toy and my mortal remains to use to find a cure.

                1. For Brett. Buck up little camper!

            3. I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…

              1. Weird – I always thought he said the squirrels were “married”.

                1. I also heard “married”.

    2. And the lawyer in question has dialed it up to eleven.

      1. Suing the American Cancer Society and National Wildlife Federation for accepting donations. Way to elevate yourself from asshole to subhuman. I hope he gets eaten by a bear, or cancer.

        1. Cancerous bear?

        2. Hopefully, it will be a cancer-ridden bear.

          1. Curse your nimble fingers, T.

          2. I thought about this, but why wish cancer on a bear just because this guy is a douche. How about eaten by a bear while ridden with cancer?

            1. Well, I’m thinking that the bear has cancer to begin with. I would never wish such a thing on one of nature’s noble creatures, unless it’s trying to eat me.

              I only hope that we can convince the bear to not waste his last days on Earth rummaging through trash cans and to instead put them to good and productive use.

              1. Fair enough.

            2. Even better: we watch him get ridden by a bear as he is eaten away by cancer.

              1. “Excuse me!… Bear Fucker, do you need assistance!? “

        3. Hopefully he’ll get turked by a syphillitic bear.

          1. “Bear fucker! Do you need assistance?”

    1. Is this his big comeback?

      1. Well, the nuclear reactors are coming back online in Nippon.

  24. John|6.13.12 @ 10:38AM|#|?|filternamelinkcustom
    That series is over. The Heat can’t score a hundred. And they can’t keep the Thunder under a hundred. It is really that simple. The Heat only beat the Celtics because Ray Allen and Paul Pierce were hurt and the Celtics just couldn’t score enough. Even then they needed a 49 point night from James and massive help from the referees. This series is over in maybe five games. Four if James can’t come up with a 50 point night because that is what it is going to take.

    1. There is a reason why I don’t bet on these games with my own money. And I didn’t count on Brooks deciding to take his two best players out so Miami could get back into the game. And then of course there are the refs who think that any time LaBron or Wade go into the lane they much be put on the line. I still think the Thunder are going to win. It is only 2-1.

    2. Not giving any kind of a damn about bounceball, I’ll assume you’re posting this because John was proven spectacularly wrong?

      1. Just a fan of John’s measured nuanced expert analysis of every subject on the planet.

        1. It’s funny because it’s true.

        2. The Heat haven’t won yet. And enjoy it, its not often I am wrong.

          1. its not often I am wrong.


            1. You only laugh because its true and it hurts.

              1. John, you’re like the male version of Samantha Brick.

                1. Except that I am right and she is wrong.

                  1. John’s prediction, The Ultimate Brick Joke.

                    (still love ya, John)

          2. really?

            I can be egotistical, but this statement takes the cake.

            1. Try reading it in the sarcasm font there Lord.

              1. gotcha – sarcasm meter is broken right now.

  25. TGhat Arpaio idiot is clearly corrupt as the day is long lol.


  26. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..wards.html

    My God does Katy Perry have a fabulous body.

    1. I’ve seen better. How in the hell did Russell Brand get anywhere near that, though. I’m perplexed!

      1. I think Katy having the IQ of a house plant had something to do with that. And you may have seen better but not much better unless you are sarcasmic and only like anorexics.

        1. Oh, trust me, the woman I hath seen blows away Ms. Perry, and quite handily at that. Smarter by multiple orders of magnitude as well.

          1. Whatever you tell yourself there groovus.

            1. I’m quite positive on this one, John, and would bet any amount of money on this, including personal body parts.

              1. OK, boys, here’s how this is going to go down:

                (1) You two put some money up.

                (2) Groovus posts some pix.

                (3) HnR commentariat votes on whether Ms. Perry is blown away.

                1. It’s the only way.

        2. Chubby chaser!

      2. How in the hell did Russell Brand get anywhere near that, though. I’m perplexed!

        Never underestimate the power to make a woman laugh. The accent may have helped as well.

        1. I wouldn’t overlook the big piles of moolah, either.

          I guarantee you, if Russell Brand wasn’t a millionaire, Katy wouldn’t have looked at him twice, or even let him get upwind of her.

    2. My downstairs neighbor’s body is way better. I know because she likes to walk from the pool back to her house in her bikini. The squeeze was mad because I didn’t give him the elbow and the head tilt when she was walking up the street and he missed the show.

      1. There are a lot of beautiful women in the world. I didn’t say she had the only fabulous body. I just said she had one. And she does.

        1. I think her ass needs a little perking-up. It makes her look out of proportion.

          1. No way–them’s birthin’ hips.

          2. I think her ass needs a little perking-up.

            I will selflessly volunteer my time. I know a few tricks for perking up the pooper.

            (hint: several of them involve various appendages of mine)

      2. PICS PLZ NAO

        1. I’ll seez what I can do…it’ll probably have to wait til the weekend when I have time to waste lazing around on my balcony.

    3. “…and I bet she shags like a mynx. How do I tell that because of the unfreazing process I have no inner monologue. I hope I didn’t say that outloud just now.”

  27. “first female astronaut in space” seems redundant. IMO, you don’t become an astronaut until you actually make it into space: until then, you’re just a trainee.

    1. I was just impressed by the enormous clanking balls anyone must have to be a Chinese test pilot.

    2. Can a mailbox become an astronaut if it is blasted so far off its post with an aluminum bat that it achieves orbit?

      1. Nope. it has to settle for satellite. I hear Buzz Aldrin has taken on some enforcer work for his wingman. I hope you don’t get punched like an annoying hippie.

      2. Vandalism of federal property, eh? Might have to have Dunphy make a house call.

        1. Statute of Limitations, FTW!

    3. I’m surprised the Chinese call them astronauts instead of cosmonauts.

      1. Actually they call them Taikonauts, IIRC.

  28. Because I hate you all more than words can describe.

    A den of kittens

    1. WARTY! I got you Slavic wimmins and kittehs!

      1. I didn’t see one instance of a cat sitting inside enormous Slavic cleavage. I am very disappointed.

        1. A hard man to please, you are. Search more, I shall. I thought there was tonnes of man-cute moments there. Head hung, in shame.

          1. Shouldn’t you be “accidentally” killing your patients or something, you fucking quack? Get to work, goldbricker.

            1. Fine, fine, I’m about finished with these lab reports anyway.

      2. It’s the writhing mass of the beast-with-a-thousand-heads.

    2. Awww. Kitten purrins. And wee, little war cries. If only they didn’t grow up into 15lb cats that manage to step directly on my solar plexus every night and come home soaking wet and then decide to curl up against my chin.

      1. Soaking wet pussies resting against your chin doesn’t sound all bad.

    3. Their mein is dark and sinister, their speech low rumbling, their eyes glittering and soulless … yea they are Satan’s beasts! Fear them!

      1. Pretty much. As near as I can tell, cats are just lizards with fur coats. No redeeming social value at all, outside of certain Asian restaurant menus.

        But, hey, de gustibus.

        1. They love you unconditionally as long as you have food and they are hungry. So, uh, pretty conditionally.

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