Anxiety Rises Over Looming Greek Vote, Rahm Emanuel Wants Pot Decriminalized, Gary Johnson Shakes Up Election Calculations: P.M. Links

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  1. …the federal government has announced plans to stop booting otherwise law-abiding residents who arrived here as minors.

    They can stay and work at all those medical marijuana shops that the federal government isn’t raiding.

    1. No this is just a way for Obama to stay in the USA once his Kenya birth certificate is found.

      1. You think those American troops in Africa are really hunting Joseph Kony?

  2. …raising the likelihood that it represents the efforts of Neanderthals.

    It’s the Jersey Shore of cave painting.

    1. Hey, that is a total insult to the Neanderthals

      1. I dunno, that one is pretty close. Ever been to Staten Island?

        1. Yes, and I got hit on by a creepy old guy.

          1. Doc, you should apologize to Chloe for having done that.

            1. I was drunk and I’m not old n’ creepy!

              I’m sure your family had something to do with this, Epi, ya greasy wop!

    2. Player #1: Hey, Lutz! You know who I am?

      Derek: Um, let me see. Uh, protruding super-orbital ridges. Small cranium. Uh, 1300 cc brain. Hmmm. Neanderthal Man!

      Player #1: [to Jason] You. I want you to call his mother. You tell her he’s never coming home.

      1. You look like the poster boy for birth control.

        1. “That’s Valerie Desmond. Look how tight her ass is today.”

  3. …Gary Johnson is seen as posing a threat to Romney’s hopes to win New Mexico, Nevada and Colorado on his way to taking the White House.

    Let’s see, will the Mittmeister try to steal some of those voters back by showing sympathy to libertarian policies, or will he go full tilt assault on those libertarian policies? (Most likely, he will ignore Johnson and his supporters altogether.)

    1. Normally, I’d say he go full ignore. Thing is, he probably has to do something to try to get the Paul voters.

      1. It’s all so anathema to all of them, I just don’t know what he would be willing to even give lip service to.

      2. Maybe that was the true intent of Rand Paul in endorsing Romney — to drive the Ron Paul faithful into the Gary Johnson camp.

        1. It was the beginning of his presidential campaign if Obama wins.

  4. Under the proposed ordinance, to be voted on by the city council later this month, police officers in the nation’s third-largest city would be able to issue a written violation for possession of 15 grams or less.

    “…would be able to…”

    1. “…would take every opportunity to…”

      1. “would have the option to write a ticket if they really felt magnanimous, but would in reality take the ‘beat the shit out of em and throw em in jail for disorderly conduct’ option”

  5. The French haven’t had a more decisive victory against Ukraine since
    Marshal Armand St Arnaud crossed the Alma

  6. Assisted-suicide ban struck down by B.C. court

    A British Columbia Supreme Court judge has declared Canada’s laws against physician-assisted suicide unconstitutional because they discriminate against the physically disabled.

    Basically, because suicide is not illegal in Canada, and the severely disabled are not able to suicide due to their infirmity, this violates the Equality Clause of the Charter.

  7. Anorexic woman from Wales to be force fed, judge orders

    A woman with “severe” anorexia who wanted to be allowed to die is to be force fed in her “best interests” by order of a High Court judge.

    So forget about death panels… socialized medicine also has (forced) life panels!

    1. Damn that court is ensuring that she has no hope of ever getting a date with sarcasmic. The bastards.

    2. Everyone knows you are not allowed to die before The State gives you permission.

      1. Of course not. By allowing yourself to die, you are destroying The State’s property.

    3. Does the article say who pays for the food?

    1. If you blow on the dog whistle, there will always be those who come running.

    2. I think most people would fuck the women in the red one piece.

    3. Jezebel gets pissed when you say “real women” and they aren’t either transgender or this.

  8. Revenge is a dish best served cold, or in this case frozen.

    A jockstrap pulled over a student sports manager’s head in a high school locker room more than 50 years ago provoked a 73-year-old South Dakota man to fatally shoot his long-ago classmate, a prosecutor said Friday.

    1. Am I a bad person because I LOL’ed (literally!) at that?

      1. Yes, but I did too, RC. You’re in good company.

        I’ve been been known to bear a grudge, but SHEESH!

    2. “It was just goofing off in a locker room,” Ribstein, 50, said Friday after the sentencing.

      Any volunteers to give a 50 year old woman an atomic wedgie? Anyone? Groovus, you’re always on the prowl.

      1. Hardly, Coeus; you make me seem like some sort of lecherous lummox. Wedgie given only if I can bill her. My time is valuable.

        I’m sure STEVE SMITH would be happy to give her “The Bonus Plan” pro bono.

  9. Ha, Gluck have short fingers like girl. Me wonder what else short on Gluck.

    1. “As a caveman frozen in a glacier, I faced…different challenges. The hardest thing was seeing my wife on display in the British Museum.”

    2. Keep talk Oog, I no warn of attack next day.

  10. Others say that Johnson’s showing reflects an unhappiness with Obama and Romney, and that his support will shrink as election day approaches.

    Yes, yes, let’s carefully guide opinion back into the belief that there are only two “real” options in November.

    1. Before people start comparing Johnson’s record as a governor to Romney’s…

  11. Immigration speech goes as expected.

    And who would have guessed this would come up:

    The president was briefly interrupted by a reporter who asked: “Mr. President, why do you favor foreign workers over Americans?”

    1. I suspect it has something to do with his AG blocking any attempt to get non-citizens off the voter rolls.

    2. But, what does LoneWacko have to say about it?

      1. Hasn’t he shut the fuck up about it already?

        1. He’s gonna beat that horse until they’re both dead.

          1. Can we please stop talking about Sarah Jessica Parker for a minute?

    3. And some of same people who cheer this will turn around in the next breath and say “he can’t make pot legal. He’s not a king. He really, really wants to, but you just don’t understand how much power the president actually has.”

  12. Gary will be in Denver this weekend. He is going to the LP booth at PrideFest on Sunday and supposedly is hosting a meet and greet at a bar downtown sunday night (The Celtic I think).

    in the words of my 2 year old. GO GO GARY JOHNSON!

    1. Do the helicopter blades pop out, or is it the roller skates?

      That movie should have ended Matthew Broderick’s career. Also, notice he doesn’t get credit for being Mr. Sarah Jessica Parker. Silver…clouds, etc.

  13. Wife of cop gets 3 million dollars after he dies during 3-way sex.

    “The type of sex that he was engaged in is the type that’s totally unacceptable to our community,” said Martinez family attorney Dr. Rod Edmond.

    “But the fact of the matter is this man could have died running on the treadmill, running after a criminal,” he added.

    I’m gonna call bullshit on that one. Devil’s threesomes are inherently strenuous. You start competing with the other guy. Those guys probably did the equivalent of a marathon.

    1. What community is that? Lawrenceville the suburban community outside Atlanta or does he mean the African-American community? Because I strongly suspect that there are more than a few swingers in Lawrenceville. Or is it that the three way involved another man? So two women and a man are acceptable?

      1. Or is it that the three way involved another man? So two women and a man are acceptable?

        They don’t call it a devil’s threesome for nothing.

  14. I like those prehistoric turkeys in the cave art paintings.

    1. Ha, that no turkey. Gluck paint face of ugly mamma. Who also fat.

      1. Not talk John wife like that.

        1. That made me think of Benny Hill’s wonderful line from The Italian Job. “Are they big? I like ’em big.” Well, it turns out there’s a t-shirt for that…

      2. Those aren’t turkeys. That’s an invitation.

  15. Shit gets real in the feminist working-woman vs housewife debate.

    1. That great. My favorite part is how she has “chosen to be single”. Sure honey. And when die alone and your cats feed off your body because no one notices, that will be you choice too.

      1. LULZ

        STEVE SMITH THINK JOHN FUNNY! STEVE SMITH RAPE JOHN LAST!

    2. So, once again, if you’re a stay-at-home mom, you’re betraying the sisterhood.

      I know several guys I work with have stay at home wives. It’s nice dumbass thinks it’s only an option available to the 1%, but here in flyover country, that just ain’t so.

      Hell, we could do it if we were willing to take the lifestyle hit.

      1. What if you’re a work-from-home Mom making $72.334/hr using your computer to earn $$$$? Didyoumissthisweblinkdotco m?

      2. I’m a stay at home dad. Am I betraying the brotherhood? Or the leader of a new fan club?

        Of course so many wouldn’t need to have 2 working parents if taxes weren’t so fucking high.

        1. As long as you’re still putting out for the missus, more power to ya.

          1. I put out for the missus alright.

        2. I’m a semi-stay at home dad (I have my own business at which I can set my own hours to some extant) and you’re right, but it’s not just taxes. If regulations, and all the other bullshit statist market interventions, red tape, distortions, mandates, quotas, tariffs, subsidies, etc. went away, many more people could comfortably get by on one income.

    3. Lol. Women who are dependent on a man deserve derision. Women who are dependent on The Man are feminist heroes.

      Honey, when Jesuit priests are paying for your overpriced medicine, you aren’t a self-reliant womyn who don’t need no man to pay your way, you’re just in denial. And honestly, having your employer take care of you while you care for your new offspring isn’t really any more independent than having a breadwinning husband do the same.

    4. Not a shock that this bit of Atlantic tripe was written by broken junkie cunt Elizabeth Wurtzel.

      LOL at this part especially:

      Let’s please be serious grown-ups: real feminists don’t depend on men. Real feminists earn a living, have money and means of their own.

      Yeah, I’m sure “feminists” will be clamoring to give up their claims on all those alimony and child support checks any day now.

      Over and over again, I have opted for my integrity and independence over what was easy or obvious. And I am happy.

      The most broken, miserable people are the ones who are constantly telling everyone how happy they are all the time.

      Nuke feminists today.

  16. OT: Snow Crash, the movie, looks like it might get made after all. Same guy who did Attack the Block, slated to direct it.

    We’ll see. Hope this won’t be another At the Mountains of Madness or Rendezvous with Rama fiasco.

    1. Not only that, but Snow Crash author Neal Stephenson is doing a Kickstarter for a swordfighting vidyagame.

  17. Not a funny story in the slightest, but take a look at what the sketch artist came up with.

  18. Damn it, Gluck! I told you not to draw on the walls.

    Our best understanding of stone age hunter gatherers come from our understanding of native Americans…

    Who got names like ‘Gambols with Eagles’…somehow I don’t think Gluck has enough symbols to encompass such a name.

  19. It’s time for yet another Fark Thread on a Reason Article.

    Actually, this one isn’t quite as bad as normal.

    1. Why would you ever go to the non-tits section of Fark? You moron, you get what you deserve when you read that place.

      1. OK – there’s the first comment in the latest Fark thread.

        Thank you, Warty.

      2. Why would you ever go to the non-tits section of Fark?

        Because it’s a good idea to keep an eye on the latest bullshit political meme my cubicle mates or family are gonna spout at the first opportunity. It’s hilarious when you shut them down as quickly as they can squeeze the latest Krugmanism out.

        Also, being strictly dom in my personal life, I expiate any masochistic urgings I might occasionally have by reading comment sections of Fark, Salon, Jezebel and Huffpo.

      3. That place must’ve changed a bunch since ’04 – at least 1/3 of the commentariat voted Badnarik.

    2. From the comments: Jacob Sullum is about the only current reason staffer worth reading. Everyone else is either emulating Gillespie’s glib ignorance or Welch’s dickery.

      How does one do glib ignorance? I can see being glib AND ignorant, but how is one glibly ignorant since glib implies that you understand the sincerity that your insincerity is masquerading as?

      I don’t get a dickery vibe from Welch, but whatever, the commenter clearly likes being glibly ignorant.

      1. Speaking of reason writers – WTF has Lucy been?

  20. The IRS seized the bank accounts

    I’ve decided that if this ever happens to me, I’m just gonna go full Falling Down Michael Douglas on they asses and get it over with.

    1. All the more reason to just keep your cash under the mattress. the interest rate is approximately the same as what the bank is paying these days.

  21. STEVE SMITH GLAD FIND STEVE SMITH ART IN CAVE. CAVE ART OF VACATION RAPE CAMP IN SUMMER. GOOD TIME. GOOD TIME.

  22. Went to the comic shop a few days ago. Noticed a set of Black Widow books written by Richard K. Morgan. Enjoyed Altered Carbon, so I grabbed the set. Now with a little down time I’m trying to enjoy them. Brutal emphasis on trying. Every fucking page he interjects his half educated views on politics and economics:

    Here is a little dialog —

    Black Widow – The want check inside as well? Check for finger prints?

    Old Russian Guy — They are not Red Room Cadres [KGB wetworks], my dear. They are watchmen. And in these times of market forces, one hires the cheapest and not the best.

    Another instance — Black Widow is nostalgic about the old Soviet Union. Thinks she may have joined the wrong team.

    In the old days we were made to fear the West. We were told they would come with their tanks and their missiles and destroy what we built. Instead they came with money, and we helped tear it down all by ourselves. Now the gap between rich and poor is wider than it has ever been. And the name Natasha has a new meaning [art – excellent by the way — shows a hooker while soliciting]. Sometimes I wonder if I should have been here, trying to stop this. Too late now.

    Russia’s problem is foreign investment? How fucking stupid do you have to be to believe that?

    Every. fucking. page.

    cont.

    1. Here’s another. A computer geek at Langley lectures a cocky muscle headed operative:

      Meantime I lost my job to downsizing twice while the clowns who set up North Institute [NSC wetworks] were in government. You want supercomputing capacity? Go look for it in the streamlined private sector where you belong.

      I’m use to annoyances while trying to enjoy a book, movie, or TV show, or what have you. Even the new Max Payne which is very good has a lame ass joke about ‘trickle down economics’ in the dialog that’s about thirty years off the mark, but COME ON! Every. FUCKING page?

      You think being political deepens the content? Makes you seem smart and witty? What’s the Goddamned deal here. Get a Goddamned column at HufPost if that is what you really want to write about.

      I see this in almost all of the English writers now. Warren Ellis, Garth Ennis and Morgan. Their work is becoming sadly unreadable. Which is a shame because they all have a knack for interesting stories and fucked situational content.

      1. I see this in almost all of the English writers now. Warren Ellis, Garth Ennis and Morgan. Their work is becoming sadly unreadable.

        And it will continue to get worse as the reality of their “spend, spend, spend” policies settles in. You see the same about climate change. It gets worse the longer the temperature stays the same. All from the same authors, too.

    1. Yeah, I was not surprised to read that.

  23. Enjoy this kick in the balls as you get your weekend started.

    Fucking animals are now tazing 80 year old women obviously suffering from dementia. Where’s dunphy to defend this fucking shit? Where’s sarcasmic with the signal, goddammit?

    1. Where’s Obama on national teevee telling cops to stop doing stoopid shit?

    2. let’s not jump to conclusions, we don’t have the whole story, procedures, continuum of force, surveys, hth, etc.
      /dunphyd

  24. Ok, with summer back, I find myself out of pocket space quite frequently. And I really like to carry my enormous cell phone and vaporizer with me at all times. On a scale of Anderson Cooper to Liberace, how gay is this?

    (I know it costs too damn much, but something similar might work).

    1. Not gay; pure, unadulterated dork. Own it.

      1. I was hoping that it not actually being a fanny pack might mitigate that somewhat. I suppose I could always go back to my one-hitter, but I’m really starting to love smoking in bars, restaurants and movie theaters.

        1. Less dorky than a fanny pack, for sure. But dorkiness is good.

          1. Man bag.

            1. Reply to a comment.

  25. 20 Year Study Compares Job Growth Living Standards in Conservative Texas versus Liberal Massachusetts. Texas trounces Massachusetts, even during high tech boom of the 1990’s.

    http://galationpress.blogspot……issue.html

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