Jobless Claims Rise, California Woes Draw Investors, College Speech Codes Take a Hit: P.M. Links


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  1. The University of Cincinnati’s “free speech zone,” which rendered the rest of the campus unfriendly to the stuff, is no more.

    Well, that’s just great. Thanks a lot, Cinnci. That was the place for free speech. Now there’s no zone where students can speech freely.

    1. “There is no danger to public order arising out of students walking around campus with clipboards seeking signatures.”

      Never been accosted by Greenpeace, I gather.

      1. Some of the Greenpeace chicks are cute. They’re fun to lead on for awhile.

        1. Some of the Greenpeace chicks are cute.

          Just be sure to stand upwind of them.

          1. Screwing them in the shower seems to work.

            1. Groovus assures me that’s no protection from catching patchouli.

              1. Nope, it’s horribly virulent and pathogenic.

                You’re a dead man walking, Brett.

                Bucket. List.

        2. Convince them that they need to ban DHMO, and that we should end women’s suffrage.

          That’s always hilarious.

      2. A quick “fuck off” has always worked for me.

  2. …the U.S. military is expanding its horizons with intelligence operations and a string of small Special Operations bases in Africa.

    Well, at least now we’re showing interest in a place one of our presidents was from.

    1. What is this, Risk? Guess we’ll be intervening in Australia soon.

      1. You’ll just stay away from Yakutsk if you know what’s fucking good for you.

        1. I’m surprised we’re not intervening in South America. While Australia/Indonesia is better, South America isn’t bad, either.

            1. Are you kidding? That’ll get crushed from all directions. Secure your base first.

              1. Sarah Palin was onto something. If you’ve got the North American Terrirtory locked down, it makes sense to invade Kamachatka if only to hold off the asian hordes. I always keep a good amount of troops in Kamachatka, reinforced with troops behind in Alaska/Yukon. I’ll hold my NA possession using that while I storm south to take over the cocaine fields of glory.

          1. But Brazil can be attacked from West Africa. There’s a dashed line.

      2. “You know what the Ukraine is? It’s a sitting duck. A road apple”

        1. I am from Ukraine. UKRAINE IS STRONG!!!!!!

          1. This may be true. Only true Ukrainians drop the article consistently.

            1. It was from Seinfeld.

              1. The Ukraine? Nah, it’s a real country.

                1. Does that mean The Ohio State University isn’t a real university?

                  1. That’s correct. I worked there, and it’s not universal at all. More provincial. Nor does it encompass the state.

                2. Not according to the Euro-Fags.

            2. Yeah, well we’re playing a game here, pal.

        2. Belgium isn’t a road, but Ukraine is. Anyone wanting to start a land war in Asia drives their armies right through.

      3. This is the fundamental problem with Risk. I makes Australia way too strategically important.

        1. I dunno, no one has ever successfully conquered the planet yet. Maybe that’s because no prospective conquering nation has taken Australia?

          1. They all say, “If that’s what it takes I’ll pass.”

            1. Not all of them. The Anschluss was Hitler’s failed attempt to annex Australia. Unfortunately for him, he annexed Austria by mistake.

              1. That wasn’t a mistake, it was a survival decision. What would you rather have: Impossibly quaint alpine villages or 100% of both flora and fauna that will capably and eagerly murder you?

                1. You’ve never read Dune, have you?

                  1. Incidentally, no, but because of this board I downloaded it on my Nook last night for vacation reading. What’s with the 50 other “Dune” titles by the same guy? Is it like the Star Wars expanded universe?

                    1. ***WARNING***


                      YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

                    2. Oh. Ok. I think there were just two of those, and like 48 by the other guy.

                    3. I gave up after the fourth Herbert Dune book. Children of Dune was the last good one.


                      Actually just read the original Dune.

                      The other ones, yes even the ones written by Frank, pretty much suck.

              2. For the want of the letter “l” europe was savaged

                1. Hitler should go on Youtube to rant about it.

                  1. He’s doing a crappy job of hiding in Argentina, what with all of the YouTube postings. Give it a rest, you Nazi.

                  2. If one edited out the map in video with a Risk board showing Australia with a shit load of armies on it…

              3. The Anschluss was Hitler’s failed attempt to annex Australia. Unfortunately for him, he annexed Austria by mistake.

                In the immortal words of Jim Carrey, “Austria? G’day mate! Put another shrimp on the barbie?”

          2. Maybe that’s because no prospective conquering nation has taken Australia?

            Ever heard of the British Empire?

      4. There is a Marine base slated to be opened in Australia.

        1. In Generation Kill, the Marines kept talking about Australian hookers.

    2. Fucking guys, making me laugh and cry out loud at work. I love/hate you.

  3. In the latest federal tactic for bypassing state medical-marijuana laws…

    I’m told legalization ballot initiatives are a tactic to get young people to the polls to vote Obama in November.

    1. Is that the same obama who has been crushing dispensaries with an iron fist?

      1. Yes, it’s a tactic based on people being dumb.

        1. Fuck. That’s a good idea.

          1. It has a 100% success rate.

          2. Based on some of the commenters drawn to HampersandR marijuana threads it’s a brilliant idea.

            1. Dave’s not here, man.

        2. I predict good results from this tactic.

      2. I’m told crushing dispensary initiatives are a tactic to get old people to the polls to vote Obama in November.

    2. I’m told legalization ballot initiatives are a tactic to get young people to the polls to vote Obama in November.

      It’s a twist on Rove’s us of marriage protection (aka anti gay marriage) initiative in 2004 to boost Bush to victory.

      It won’t work this time.

  4. Former Minnesota Governor ? and, more importantly, “Predator” star ? Jesse Ventura’s endorsement of Gary Johnson’s presidential candidacy was edited out of online videos by CNN.

    I wonder how much Johnson had to pay CNN to do it.

    1. Or perhaps CNN just realized that an endorsement from a ‘roid-addled Troofer was a punishment they wouldn’t inflict on a dog they hated.

    2. I wonder who the mole for the Johnson campaign at CNN is.

    3. I wondered the same thing. Or someone at CNN likes ol’ Gary.

    4. Um, Johnson needs all the help he can get. Ventura is more well-known by several orders of magnitude, and people who follow him might actually be able to be convinced to vote third party.

      1. This.

  5. Jesse Ventura is a loony.

    1. And a giant douchbag to boot.

  6. Pure ecstasy can be ‘safe’ for adults, health official says

    [B.C. Provincial Health Officer Dr. Perry] Kendall asserts the risks of MDMA ? the pure substance originally synonymous with ecstasy ? are overblown, and that its lethal dangers only arise when the man-made chemical is polluted by money-hungry gangs who cook it up.

    1. No, man, ONDCP showed me a commercials that said ecstasy would kill me. And we all know ONDCP wouldn’t lie, right?

    2. Pure MDMA is absolutely safe for adults, so are mushrooms, LSD and weed. Even better when you mix them all together! Well, pick one of the mushrooms or LSD, otherwise you’re just being wasteful.

      1. The nitrous oxide is bad, though.

        1. No love for DMT? Damn craziest thing I even laid lungs on.

        2. Hippie crack

      2. Mushrooms are not safe.

        1. How?

          1. A friend of mine drove through the mountains once, so that probably wasn’t very safe.

            1. As long as he had his Oscillation Overthruster tuned correctly, that shouldn’t have been a problem.

              1. That’s exactly what I was thinking.

          2. Maybe if someone picked the wrong kind? Other than that, no.

            1. Yeah. Ironically, the only mushrooms that are illegal are perfectly safe.

          3. How?

            You eat the wrong kind, which look damn near identical to the right kind, and you die.

            1. So stupidity is not safe.

            2. If they’re fresh they don’t look identical. Stropharia cubensis is a pretty easy ID.

  7. Not in YOUR backyard: Home wind turbine has Vancouver neighbourhood upset

    “I was actually quite surprised with the amount, the intensity of the negativity that we received from the neighbours,” Hammond said

    Hammond said the turbine is a great green idea that will help a homeowner become more energy efficient.

    1. Neighbourhood. What is that, a place where South African horses live?

      1. Yeah, something like that.

        1. More properly neighboerhood, but what can you expect from Canadian “English”?

          1. I thought it was “nEHboerhood”.

            Where are our resident Canadians?

            1. Doc’s probably in surgery, Aresen is at Spockstock, and Dagny is, well, I don’t know where she is.

              1. Actually, I’m eating lunch ATM, I don’t know from which province Aresen hails, and Dagny has been captured by STEVE SMITH! I have it on good authourity that Timmy Ho’s double-double cups and a trail of Timbits was at the scene…

                It appears STEVE SMITH is arboreal.

                FIND DAGNY T.!!!!!! SAVE DAGNY T.!!!!!!


                And I’m a Canucki-phile, not Canadian, Pro’L Dib.

                1. I like Canadians, our non-threatening friends of the tundra, but no one is a Canadianphile but a Canadian.

                  1. Way to be concerned about beloved commenter Dagny T., ya heartless jerkass.

                    FIND DAGNY T.!!!!!!

                2. Save Dagny T, save the world?

                  1. Save Dagny T, save the world?

                    Dagny T. is H n’R’s MacGuffin Girl!

                    Save little Dagny T.!

                3. You’re eating lunch ass to mouth? Sounds like you’re doing it wrong.

              2. We have that many Canadians? Time to fumigate again, I guess.

                1. “I’m here to check your home blog for hippies Candians.

                  1. “Candians”? Is that the new PC term for what were formerly known as “Candy Landers”? (Since we’re going on about board games, and all…)

    1. Did you read the same Cracked article I did?

      1. I was rolling in the aisles reading it.

    2. And they’d get to keep 100 percent of their earnings.

    3. I thought that was Sandusky’s idea?

  8. To balance the state budget, California will:

    1. defer pension payments
    2. double-count a bunch of health care “savings” derived from increased environmental regulations
    3. join several other states to beg Obama for another state stabilization bailout

    1. 4. Send minimum tax bill notices to anyone who has thought about gold in the last six years, claiming that constitutes economic nexus to California.

  9. However, he said the city of Murrieta, which banned medical marijuana shops in 2005, began issuing a $2,500 fine for every day Greenhouse remained on the property. He said that persuaded him to begin an eviction process, but it took several months to complete. The city has sued Carter and wants him to pay $150,000 in fines, he said.

    What a bunch of fucking parasitic rent seekers.

  10. I just found out that in the Japanese version of the WWF (or whatever wrestling is called now), there are wrestlers with the names, “Super Shit Machine” and “Yingling the Erotic Terrorist”.

    1. The Japanese World Wildlife Federation employs wrestlers? The Japanese truly embody “weirdness.”

      1. WWF will always be the World Wrestling Federation to me…even though I never watch wrestling and think it’s pretty dumb.

    2. Yingling the Erotic Terrorist

      He’s coming right at me!

      1. It’s a she, actually.

        1. I think that might be scarier.

        2. No wonder she can’t spell Yuengling

  11. I’m not sure anyone deserves bubonic plague, but trying to “save” a mouse from a stray cat comes close.

    “A man hospitalized in Bend is likely suffering from the plague, marking the fifth case in Oregon since 1995.

    The unidentified man, who is in his 50s, fell ill several days after being bitten while trying to get a mouse away from a stray cat. The man is now being treated at St. Charles Medical Center-Bend, where he was listed in critical condition on Tuesday. “

    1. “No good deed shall go unpunished.”

    2. That brave man died to save a kitty from the plague. What a hero.

      1. My friend had a kitty who died from the plague. Tragic.

        1. Your friend’s pussy died from the plague? Those crazy kids and their V.D.

      2. He’s not quite dead yet.

        1. He’s not fooling anyone, you know.

        2. He feels happy!

        3. He’s getting better!

        4. He thinks he’ll go for a walk.

      3. Glue traps are AWESOME. Almost as awesome as the new Rush album. Just sayin’.

        1. New RUSH album IS awesome…agreed.

    3. Stop all this silliness, I beg.

    4. If anyone deserved it, it was this guy

  12. Police officer Ronald Schreffler testifies in court today that he wanted Jerry Sandusky to be charged and indicted back in 1998.

    The District Attorney at the time, Ray Gricar, apparently didn’t agree. Gricar later mysteriously disappeared in 2005, and was never seen again.

    1. That whole thing is weird. Penn State knew he was a monster. Sandusky was one of the most respected assistants in the country. Yet, he never got any head coaching offers. Not one. The college coaching fraternity is small. I think Penn State knew he was a monster and kind of put it out without saying why that you didn’t want to hire him. The guy was ass raping kids for decades on campus. They had to have known about it even before 2002 and covered it up. Just sickening.

      1. We have to keep those college sports going at any cost, don’t you know!

    2. Very odd. I remember someone that had many conversations with Ray Gricar saying that Gricar was more interested in crimes with victims (rape, burglary, vandalism, so on and so forth) than victimless crimes (drug use, violations of obscenity laws, so on and so forth). This is not to say Gricar’s office didn’t go after drug users, Gricar’s office did but drug users weren’t anywhere near its top priority.

      Anyways… since Gricar stated this type of crime was a priority for his office, I wonder why didn’t agree.

      1. I previewed that post three times.

        “I wonder why *he* didn’t agree”



    Looks like Erin Andrews had a boob job in preparation for her contract negotiations with ESPN.

    Don’t click Sarcasmic. She is way too fat for you.

    1. What’s different about her? She’s had that build as long as I can remember.

      1. Her boobs seem to defy gravity. And they look a bit larger than they did in the infamous hotel shots.

        1. She was pretty chesty back when she first worked with ESPN. I haven’t seen the nude photos, and they may well be fake, but I don’t see an obvious different in size.

          1. I think she is still quite attractive. I like the curves.

          2. It was a video and it wasn’t fake. She was pissed about the invasion of privacy not because she claimed they were fake. The real conspiracy theory was whether she did it on purpose instead.

            1. I meant her chest, not the video.

            2. The guy who did it went to prison. So I think she was a legit victim. I wonder what kind of a massive settlement she got from the hotel. Talk about horrible security.

              1. After my intensive investigation of video I have my doubts but I guess it would probably have come out in the criminal case.

                1. I honestly thought she staged it when it came out. I just couldn’t believe that a first rate hotel would have that incompetent of security. But I was wrong. She lives in Atlanta and used to come into a restaurant I frequented. The staff all said that she was actually super nice and down to earth. Not at all what you would expect.

        2. Bikinis have often have pads.

          That is why you never see nipples pocking through.

          Cold water, wet cloths, yet no nipples?!?!

          How any heterosexual male would not run down the math of that and not do a complete investigation to answer that mystery is inconceivable to me.

          1. If she had implants the brights might not come on the way they used to.

          2. And the water in Miami is not cold this time of year.

            1. And the water in Miami is not cold this time of year ever.

      1. Look at the expression on her 15-year-old son’s face. He can only think about the thousands of dudes that spank to his mom’s pics on the Internet.

        I’d look that depressed too.

      2. I’ve been through this twice, both in Austin and Houston. He shut down the highways during rush hour. What an ass.

        1. Fuck you squirrels!

        2. Damn that 15-year-old kid!

        3. Those must have been a couple interesting trips to Texas, Apatheist.

          1. Everything is bigger here in Texas. Tits so big they block highways for hours.

      3. Jesus tapdancing Christ, why on earth would you do that to yourself??

    2. Every Dailymail story posted here:

      Hot chick, nearly naked

      Hot chick, nearly naked

      Hot chick, nearly naked


      1. Dude, without that I can’t leave my cube.

        1. Why the hell do you think they put you in a cube. Finish up and get back to work, slacker.

          *throws a box of kleenex at Ska*

          1. Man, they told me they were out of offices until the renovations are complete. 🙁

    3. Shouldn’t she be ironing her panties while standing naked in some hotel room?

  14. Obama’s visit to Sarah Jessica Parker is shutting down rush hour trains in NYC. Good.

    1. Narcissistic fucks.

    2. He shut down Baltimore’s Inner Harbor Tuesday. The man has no shame.

      1. He shut down Baltimore’s Inner Harbor Tuesday the US economy

    3. I’ve been through this twice, both in Austin and Houston. He shut down the highways during rush hour. What an ass.

      1. He did it in Denver twice in a month. But at least then it was unilateral, and not some dipshit who invited him knowing that it would a million other peoples’ days miserable. Sarah Jessica Parker is a selfish horse.

        1. Both of mine were fundraising trips so there was definitely some dipshits involved just not ones as famous as horse face.

        2. Knowing it would *Make* a million other peoples’ days miserable.

        3. Back when I was stationed at Buckley during the Dubya years, I always made sure to get out of dodge whenever POTUS flew into town. It’s amazing how much one man can inconvenience a whole population.

          1. I’m inconvenienced by him every day, and I can guarantee you he won’t be coming to Wilmore, KY.

      2. He shut down Phila. the other day so he could go to a $40,000 per each fund-raiser with – I’m sure – the 99%ers.

    4. I can’t tell you how many times my bus or shuttle has been cancelled or re-routed because of one or more Obamas. Y’all can qwitchyer bitchin’.

      1. You choose to live in Obama’s dominion. I try to keep 2/3 of the country between me and his ego.

        1. Yabut I was here first!

          1. Before presidents became raging egomaniacs?

      2. You choose to live in a pigpen, don’t complain about the smell.


    Nixon made us fat.

    1. Corn became the engine for the massive surge in the quantities of cheaper food being supplied to American supermarkets: everything from cereals, to biscuits and flour found new uses for corn. As a result of Butz’s free-market reforms, American farmers, almost overnight, went from parochial small-holders to multimillionaire businessmen with a global market.

      Corn subsidies are “free-market reforms”?!?!?

      1. More government means free market. More regulation means deregulation.

        See how this works? If you do, tell me, because I don’t get it at all.

        1. It’s quite simple: any reform or policy that fails is “free market”.

          1. So the administration’s policies the last few years are free market policies? Jeez, no wonder everyone wants to be socialists anymore.

            1. Addendum: any failed reform or policy that was implemented during a Republican’s presidency is “free market”. Any failed reforms/ policies of a Democrat president is the result of either Republican obstructionism or the failures of previous “free market” (IOW Republican) policies

      2. It is the Guardian. Even when they are right about something, they still have to say something stupid.

        1. Which is why it’s called The Fraudian, John.

    2. First, WTF is a swimming cubicle?

      Second, neither Nixon nor corn made us fat. Eating those 3 fucking cheeseburgers with the super sized fries and the giant milkshake made us fat.

      Good grief…stupid…weapons grade.

      1. Or the 6-12 servings of carbs — er, bread per day the FDA was recommending for decades…


    Slate writes on whether it is possible to be Mormon and gay. The guy they chose is married and has three kids and remains married. Isn’t the better question can someone who is married with kids and claims to have a great sex life with his wife really be considered gay?

    1. If a guy says he’s gay, then he’s probably gay.

      Unless the hipster lingo hasn’t made it to Utah yet and he thinks he’s proclaiming his happiness to the world. Or it’s a shitty Adam Sandler movie.

      1. If he enjoys having sex with his wife I would say he is bi not gay.

        1. Yeah, or she dresses up as a lumberjack, or something.

          1. So when his wife doesn’t wear makeup and puts on ratty old work clothes, he finds her more attractive? Where the hell do I sign up?!?!

            1. Your local lesbian bar?

              1. Last I checked, chicks don’t have penii. And silicone ones don’t count.

                1. There’s always some deal-breaker with you, K.

                  1. I know…and I wonder why I’m still single, eh?

                    1. High maintenance is you, apparently.

              2. Holy shit, maybe the wife’s a lesbian.

                She dresses up like a lumberjack, he dresses up as Little Bo Peep and they fuck like shaved hyenas.

                Wow, what’s Mormonism coming to?

                1. Do gay Mormons have different magic underwear? and six other lost novels by Philip K. Dick.

            2. What Brett said.

      2. I’ve claimed to be gay to get out of a lot of things.

        1. sex with women?

    2. Maybe he’s just claiming to be gay in a desperate bid for attention. “Look at me everyone! I’m different, and therefore cool!”

      Who the fuck knows what goes through some people’s minds.

      1. Lots of gay guys finally come out after they are married and have kids. But when they do that, they usually divorce and go off and be gay.

        1. I wonder how many women this happens to.

  17. Mr. Obama inherited a $1 trillion deficit from his Republican predecessor, “it’s like somebody goes to a restaurant, orders a big steak dinner, martini, all that stuff,” Mr. Obama said, winding up to his punch line as his audience tittered. “And then, just as you’re sitting down, they leave, and accuse you of running up the tab!”
    “That’s what they do!” the president said, as the Democratic Party faithful crammed into the ballroom applauded, hooted and hollered. “I am not making this up!”

    – Barack Obama, June 12, 2012

    Today, President Obama celebrated Father’s Day the same way he celebrates every day: by eating his fill, then sticking someone else with the tab. Hanging out with two service members and two barbers at Kenny’s BBQ in Washington, D.C., Obama enjoyed pork ribs with hot sauce, greens, red beans, cornbread… the works. The total bill was some $55.58. Obama ran out before paying.…..ut-on-bill

    1. Glad you didn’t say “collard” greens.

      That would have been RACIST!!

      1. Mustard Turnip Collard

    2. Or in other words, if the bozo before you overspent by a trillion a year for one year when the economy crashed, you take that as a baseline for every subsequent budget and blame him.

  18. The private sector does “just fine.”

    I suppose it comes down to your definition of fine-

    1. Satisfactory; acceptable: BO is just fine with the fact that the Health Care Plan fucks the private sector.

    2. Very small in size, weight, or thickness: The private sector job growth is finer than fucking frog hairs.

    1. In his little anti-capitalist mindset, the private sector is doing fine. It’s in the shitter, and to him, that’s just fine.

      More amusing is when it was reported that he “walked it back”, he did no such thing. He commented that obviously the “economy” was not doing fine, blah blah er um blah.

  19. Skeletor was once presumed dead by FL election officials.

    “The Republican lawmaker revealed to a Tallahassee radio station Thursday that election officials in 2006 removed him from state voter rolls believing he was dead, the Associated Press reports.”

    1. I thought Skeletor was Michael Chertoff’s nickname…

  20. Can you see David Wright? Neither could we nor could the two 9 year olds in front of us. Apparently someone gave these hipsters Mets tickets four rows behind the Padres dugout. This went on for 5 innings. When the two 9 year olds’ father asked them politely to put their umbrella down because they were obstructing his kids’ view their response was “if i get sun cancer I’ll sue you?..”
    The dad then got security to whom they said “bring us a rule book to show us why we can’t have an umbrella up”. And “why can’t the kids move if they can’t see??”
    Finally after 5 innings and after numerous visits from security?.they self righteously stormed off 8 rows back into the shade.
    Great site?..keep it up.…..ts-finest/

    1. From the comments at diehipster – listen to the contempt in Brian Williams’ script. Love it!

      1. I know Zoe is a total hipster. But damn she is so cute. Something about brunettes with big blue eyes. You just can’t resist them as a guy. It is Pavlovian.

    2. Fuck those guys, though to be fair to hipsters (*barf*) obnoxious people at ballparks come in many flavors.

    3. People really exist like this? If I believed in a God, I would pray to him to send me some of these fucks to exercise my fists.

      1. Hang ’em up in the basement like 120 lb skeleton bags and go to town.

        Put an old rug or something down first though.

    4. I think I would have “accidentally” spilled my beer on them.

      1. Umbrella….

        1. Then I would have spilled it on their umbrella. The point is to annoy and piss them off enough that they move.

          Or better yet, hopefully the dude would be dumb enough to take a swing at me, but I doubt that hipsters would have the balls to do that.

          1. A couple strategic air horn blasts might be just the trick.

    5. Needz moar Sloopy mayonnaise rantz.

    6. This would not go over well in Dodger stadium. They beat Brian Stowe into a brain damaged coma just for the ugly fun of it.

  21. California’s budget woes are attracting municipal-bond investors who see soaring yields as an attractive counter to the possibility that the state with the lowest SP rating just won’t be able to pay its debts.

    And in other news, water is still wet.

  22. Mark my words, this is a placeholder for a story that’s only going to get more fucked up as details emerge.

    “Police found a 5-year-old boy Wednesday sitting beside a large SUV with his hands tied and a blindfold over his eyes. A bound and blindfolded 7-year-old girl was inside the vehicle, along with three other children, ages 12, 13 and 15. All are in protective custody.”

  23. military is expanding its horizons with intelligence operations and a string of small Special Operations bases in Africa.

    They’re just getting ready for Kony 2012.


    Warning, do not try to save a feral animal from this kitty.

    1. “Study finds growing number of cougars in the Midwest.” Yeah. I guess lipo has finally become affordable to middle class divorcees.

    2. “They’re so thick out here, it’s unbelievable,” Jorgenson, 58, said of the mountain lions he blames for “wiping out” the deer population around his home near the 1,700-resident town of Watford City. “Two years ago, it’d be nothing to see 200 to 300 mule deer out there; this past winter, we never saw more than 20. We have carcasses all over where they’ve been killed.”

      Am I supposed to feel bad about this? FUCK. DEER.

      1. Rats with hooves. I second this.

        1. Rats are intelligent creatures. Deer are MNG-grade stupid.

      2. Deer are vermin. And they taste good too. So I can’t really blame the cat.

        1. The ecosystems of the eastern U.S. have really suffered without an apex predator, and the painters hardly ever bother people, so I’m having a hard time seeing a downside here.

          1. Autocorrect fail.

            1. No failure whatsoever. Learn your regional dialects, you ignorant fuck.

              1. I have no desire to understand what you are saying.

                1. “Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.”

                  1. Rassah!

                  2. Yinz lernat duh stillmill?

                    1. DIE YINZER!!!

                  3. Do you have a newsletter I can sign up for?

        2. Tasty tasty vermin.

      3. What is it about mountain lions? Why all the names? Mountain lion, puma, cougar, catamount. . .why not just pick a name and stop? I vote catamount, which is awesome.

        1. Night Screamer is my favorite.

            1. Night Screamer IS his catamite.

              Wait, what?

          1. Sounds like one of Urkobold’s dates.

            Seriously though, night screamer is a new one on me and I like it too.

        2. You forgot panther.


    Male? Female? Pre op or post op tranny? You make the call.

    1. Male, drag queen. Makes more money not getting the op.

    2. Just a gay dude I would guess.

    3. A fabulous specimen. Look at those immaculate eyebrows.

    4. I wish I could pull off a look like that. It would get me out of having to do so many things.

    5. It needs to wax the ‘stache.

    6. With eye brows like that you better be funny and smoke a cigar, or you could just sashay down the boulevard with a purse.

  26. A brothel where you can screw for free, as long as you’re willing to be broadcast on the interwebs. NSFW pics.

    It is a sad day when there is more value of sending movies of people fucking out on the internet is more valuable than charging men for the actual sex. I think I understand the roots of the population crash in Europe.

    1. I like the picture of the couple where the guy has the ‘amusement park’ wristband.

  27. Claims for jobless benefits climbed last week by 6,000 to 386,000 as the private sector does “just fine.”


    1. Claims for unemployment insurance payments unexpectedly climbed by 6,000 to 386,000 in the week ended June 9, Labor Department figures showed today in Washington.

      Unfuckingbelievable. And here I thought I was joking.

  28. …all four U.S. attorneys in California are threatening landlords with the loss of their property…

    This is news to you guys? They started doing this last fall. Here’s one story from November.

    It was a nice christmas present for the pot dealers of CA.


    Angelina Jolie is infatuated with Kate Middleton. Let the sick fantasies begin.

    1. God damn it, someone shove a fucking pizza in that lady’s mouth. Fuck, remember when she was hot?

      1. Easy, John, she still looks just fine.

        1. The tats are the only think I don’t like about her.

        2. No, she looks like a cancer patient pumped up with silicone and collagen. I can handle skinny, but I don’t want to fuck women who look about to die.

          Well, not always, at least.

          1. I will admit that she’s now thin enough to make her head look freaky big.

            1. Someone I know was at an event here in N.O. with her and Brad. Said Angelina looked like some kind of mutant fish.

          2. I don’t want to fuck women who look about to die


            1. Registration ruined the STEVE SMITH gag. It’s not as funny when I know who’s posting it.

              In fact, registration ruined celebrity impersonations altogether. I miss posting as Rick James.

              1. I’m Rick James, bitch!!!111

              2. I miss posting as Grampa Simpson.

              3. You realize you can still do it, right? Just have to change your name on your user settings. It just takes slightly longer.

        3. For “just fine”, see Rosie Jones (NSFW).

        4. No she doesn’t. She looks cadaverous.

  30. Hey, Reason. If I send you this 486 laptop I’m using as a doorstop, will you use it to upgrade your web server?

  31. A 14 year-old Chinese kid is playing in the US Open right now. He shot a +9 today, which, while far above the cut line, is only one shot worse than Masters champion Bubba Watson.

    1. You know it’s over for fat, white men when minorities start beating them at golf. Fucking golf!

      1. You should see the women’s game. If Kim Jong-Il had been a woman, I might have believed the “7 holes-in-one” story.

        1. That sounds like a really bad porno…

  32. “The Arab Spring is looking a little Autumn-y as Egypt’s Supreme Court rules last year’s parliamentary elections unconstitutional and dissolves the body. The military claims full power.”

    I did NOT see that one coming. I swore on my life they’d embrace secular free market capitalism. How wrong I was.

  33. That makes no sense at all to me dude, None. WOw.

  34. More fear mongering from the Military Industrial Complex. If we don’t give them more money this will lead to war, but we have given them huge amounts of money and they have been in some kind of war my entire life.

    “”””Mandated defense cuts could lead to war, top US military official says””…..z1xno5i04Z

  35. 20 Year Study of Job Growth Living Standards Compares Conservative Texas to Liberal Massachusetts. Texas Trounces Massachusetts, Even During The High Tech Boom of the 1990’s.


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