A.M. Links: Ireland votes on EU treaty, Syrian rebels threaten to withdraw from ceasefire agreement, Romney neck-a-neck with Obama in swing states, SpaceX due for splashdown, Ron Paul fans plan a party

Matthew Feeney | 5.31.2012 8:45 AM

The Irish are voting today in a referendum on the ratification of the EU's Fiscal Stability Treaty that would introduce restrictions on the budget deficits of member states. The treaty has already been rejected by the British and Czech governments.
Rebels in Syria have threatened to withdraw from a ceasefire agreement unless the government does not begin observing the truce within 48 hours.
A day after claiming victory in his bid for the GOP nomination Romney is tied with Obama in swing-state polls.
Security professionals have suggested that the "Flame" virus found in Iranian government computers is the most complex ever discovered.
The SpaceX Dragon capsule is on course to splashdown in the Pacific today off the coast of California.
Ron Paul fans are planning a three-day festival just before the Republican National Convention to conclude the Congressman's White House run.

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Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

...Romney is tied with Obama in swing-state polls.

I don't see how this can be spun as anything but bad news for a sitting president.
1. Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
  
  "Despite not starting campaigning yet, Obama is still tied with Romney who has been campaigning nonstop since this time last year."
  1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
    
    Flopney has been campaigning for the last five years. Obama's a lock.
    1. fried wylie 13 years ago
      
      Explain to me how Obama's entire presidency has been anything but campaigning.
      1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Does the term "Free Shit" ring a bell, wylie?
        
        fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        I'm not clear how that addresses my need for explanation.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Progressivism 101: Promise enough people enough "free stuff" and he will overcome this apparent polling gap ATM. Show me one, one, politician that doesn't continuously campaign in some form whilst in office. The first rule of an elected official: "You're primary function is to get re-elected".
        
        And ObamneyCare isn't going anywhere anyway, so it may be just a wash.
        
        fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        Ok, so it was a stupid question because the answer is so obvious.
        
        Fair enough.
    2. John 13 years ago
      
      Groovus, Obama is going to lose. And when he does, I promise not to be too smug about how wrong the "Obama is a lock" people were.
      1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        John, I assure you I don't want to be correct. I will gladly take any ribbing, but I don't see how he can. you vastly underestimate the appetite of the Entitled Class.
        
        robc 13 years ago
        
        Any incumbent not polling at 50% is in danger.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        I won't be happy that Romney won. But I will allow myself at least a week of schadenfreude over Obama losing.
        
        Suthenboy 13 years ago
        
        Yep.
        
        And Groovus, I believe you are wrong. When captain zero is fired, I am sure my pleasure and John's will be surpassed by yours. I wont rib you about it, but I will gladly send you a bottle of champagne. If you are going to be wrong about stuff, that is the right thing to be wrong about.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        I wonder if Obama will go peacefully if Romney wins in some strange fashion like Bush with the Fla recount.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        I wonder if Obama will go peacefully if Romney wins in some strange fashion like Bush with the Fla recount.
        
        Gauranteed rioting.
        
        Randian 13 years ago
        
        Will people who like power give it up without a fight?
        
        I think you answered your own inquiry.
        
        tarran 13 years ago
        
        Oh please. Obama lacks the balls to attempt a coup.
        
        It'll be embarassingly, wonderfully cheesy, like Mrs Carter's tantrums about vacating the White House.
        
        VG Zaytsev 13 years ago
        
        Probably.
        
        His actions say that he hates actually being president. As an ex pres he can do the rabble rousing and vacating that he really loves, full time.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        And Groovus, I believe you are wrong. When captain zero is fired, I am sure my pleasure and John's will be surpassed by yours. I wont rib you about it, but I will gladly send you a bottle of champagne. If you are going to be wrong about stuff, that is the right thing to be wrong about.
        
        Either way, since I am not renouncing, just expatriating, the electoral results do affect me directly as well.
        
        But, if I am wrong, ship that champagne to Donetsk! 🙂 And don't be niggardly!
        
        Suthenboy 13 years ago
        
        Brother, it will be the best. A magnum at that.
        
        Bobarian 13 years ago
        
        'Niggardly!'
        
        Racist. /sarc
        
        KMA Too 13 years ago
        
        Well, I had a niggling giggle over it.
        
        mad libertarian guy 13 years ago
        
        If you thought the claims of racism were bad in the immediate aftermath of Obamacare, just wait until he is voted out of office.
        
        They will say that the reason we voted him out has nothing to do with politics but because all of us who didn't vote for him are racist.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        Isn't that what they're already saying about the people who protest-voted for none of the above or a convicted felon in the recent Democratic primaries?
      2. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
        
        I'd like for him to lose. It's hard for me to get a good read on what's happening and going on through the FUD that is the bread and butter of our MSM betters.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        What is happening is that he is dying. No way should an incumbent President be below 50% at this stage. Even the most pro Obama polls have him at best 47%. You can't win an election like that. Absent a Romney being found molesting boys, what is going to happen this summer that will put him over 50%?
        
        Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
        
        They're going to find Mitt's super-secret special underwear stash?
        
        VG Zaytsev 13 years ago
        
        What is happening is that he is dying. No way should an incumbent President be below 50% at this stage. Even the most pro Obama polls have him at best 47%. You can't win an election like that.
        
        Actually, there's no way he should be over 30% with the condition that the economy's in and he wouldn't be if he wasn't a "black" guy.
        
        some guy 13 years ago
        
        Obama may not need to get over 50% to win, though. If Johnson pulls a few percent, either major candidate could win with a plurality of the popular vote.
      3. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
        
        The question is, who does Johnson "steal" more votes from?
        
        Pro Libertate 13 years ago
        
        That could be important. I think the pull will be roughly equal, as plenty of less doctrinaire Democrats are quite disenchanted with Obama. On the other hand, libertarianism seems to resonate better with a small part of the GOP, so they'll likely take more of a hit.
        
        All that said, I think Obama is about to get killed in the general. He's just got too many negatives, and Romney, while annoying and not popular, is viewed as relatively neutral.
        
        robc 13 years ago
        
        And this is where the GOP convention and the Paulites matter.
        
        If the mainstream GOP manages to drive them to Johnson, that math changes. Otherwise, I think you are right.
        
        Quetzalcoatl 13 years ago
        
        Intrepid Reporter "Fist of Etiquette": Who does Johnson "steal" more votes from?
        American voter: Who's that?
      4. some guy 13 years ago
        
        John, I remember on election night 2008 watching the reveling over Obama's victory and thinking, "This dude's already a lock-in for his next term. He would have to have one of the worst terms in history for a Republican to have a shot at him in 2012." Surely you can't blame me for thinking so, given his ability to campaign and inspire blind admiration.
        
        One "worst term in history" later, I'm no longer on the lock-in bandwagon, though. He's still a great campainger, but after 5 years of this shit I think he's losing his effectiveness.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Some guy,
        
        I can honestly say I thought it was going to be a disaster for the Dems. You can go back and look on here. I said as early as the summer of 09 that the Republicans were going to take back the House in the mid terms. Maybe I am just cynical, but I always thought Obama was a moron.
        
        Lord Humungus 13 years ago
        
        I remember thinking "too many promises, expectations are too high, so he'll probably crash and burn."
        
        He's been worse than I imagined. I thought he would be all "Bill Clinton" style, not swing hard left at first chance.
        
        Bobarian 13 years ago
        
        I remember thinking 'absolutely no substance in anything he says, there are no details to anything he talks about, how can he carry on when he actually has to produce'
        
        Barack Obama is a fucking clown shoe. he's a terrible, one-note joke that only stoners laugh at. If him and Biden were real, I'd beat the shit out of them for being so stupid.
        
        /JSB;
        
        Brandon 13 years ago
        
        He had to steal his campaign slogan from MSNBC. He's toast.
      5. Zeb 13 years ago
        
        I'm not making any bets now. I think a lot depends on what happens between now and the election. I would not be surprised either way. Things can change fast. Remember when Dukakis was going to win?
  2. Isaac Bartram 13 years ago
    
    Despite not starting campaigning yet, Obama is still tied with Romney...
    
    Good hell, when has Obama not been campaigning? His administration is nothing but a campaign.
    
    To be fair I'd have to admit that every politician's career is one long campaign but Obama has gone beyond Bill Clinton in elevating it to fine art.
    1. Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
      
      I didn't say I thought this was a good argument.
    2. Pro Libertate 13 years ago
      
      Yes, that's grasping at straws to say Romney has been campaigning while Obama has not.
2. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
  
  Wait until Tony makes his "arguments". I also saw Shriek has a new moniker.
  1. ?Ex Nihilo? 13 years ago
    
    Shriek has a new moniker.
    
    Do tell.
    1. Ice Nine 13 years ago
      
      Yes, please do tell.
      1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Behold, Palin's Buttplug!
        
        Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
        
        Well, at least that was an amusing post by him.
3. JerseyPatriot 13 years ago
  
  RealClearPolitics electoral map
  
  Currently, they have 237 EC votes either Likely or Leaning (+4, I think) for Obama. 170 for Romney. Obama's only 33 votes out. I think we could end up with a close popular vote and a comfortable (~30 pts) Electoral College win.
  
  The real fun would be if 2000 reverses itself, and Romney wins the popular vote but loses the Electoral College.
  1. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
    
    The swing states are the only ones to matter. I think OH, NC and FL are about to get a lot of candidate attention.
    1. Brandon 13 years ago
      
      And Colorado. Obama has already fucked up rush-hour traffic here twice in the past month.
Karl Hungus 13 years ago

West Virginia Pentecostal preacher fucks around with rattlesnake, gets bit, dies,

http://news.yahoo.com/serpent-.....ories.html
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  My father participated in that crap when he was young. I imagine it's a large part of why he's an atheist now.
2. Joe M 13 years ago
  
  Vanover said Wolford was then transported to a family member's home in Bluefield about 80 miles away to recover.
  
  Uh, no. You don't just "recover" from a rattlesnake bite on the thigh. Sounds like he could've survived if he'd gotten proper medical attention right away, but the stupidity was compounded.
  1. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
    
    Jamaicans 4:17 - "And the Pharisees spake, saying verily unto thee, 'Taketh heed of thou serpent's rattly thingy, for surely the Lord has placed this verily unto thine serpent as warning, lest thou inbred brethren readeth far too deep into the Word of the Lord, taking up yon serpent. For surely the inbred one will be smited with pointy fangs and deadly hemotoxic venom.'"
    1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
      
      Read further down:
      
      Jamaicans 4:20 - "And lo, it was the time of day to get off work and smoke the holy bowl. And they did smoketh that bowl at the appointed time. And there was much hunger and tittering and good cheer in His name."
      1. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
        
        Those Jamaicans were full of good, practical advice that is all too often ignored these days. You think one of them would've fucked with a venomous reptile to prove a point? Of course not. They were content to smoke good weed and listen to great music.
      2. Pi Guy 13 years ago
        
        I herreby request permission to quote this verse in the future.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        I am but His prophet. His gospel is free to all men.
  2. Ice Nine 13 years ago
    
    Getting medical attention when you are bitten - which they all eventually are - defeats the "purpose" of the handling, which is to demonstrate faith.
    
    One of the best books I've read in years, Salvation On Sand Mountain is all about this subject. I derided the whole thing just like everyone else but came away with at least an understanding of these people. Very readable (National Book Award, IIRC). Check it out.
    1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
      
      Ice, you do know a great many of those charlatans get anti-venom TX in preparation for that herpetological song and dance? (Which, ironically is the venom itself, increasingly titrated in a series of doses.)
      1. Quetzalcoatl 13 years ago
        
        More like herpaderpatological song and dance, amirite?
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Well played with your winged nom du blog. Well played.
        
        Lord Humungus 13 years ago
        
        Derp the Musical!
        
        What you have, my son, is plain to see
        the only cure is a double derp-a-dectomy
      2. Ice Nine 13 years ago
        
        No, can't say that I ever heard that. You talking about proper CroFab and such or just the incremental effect of previous bites?, which effect is of course implicit. How do you know that, BTW?
        
        It wouldn't surprise me terribly if some of them proactively did something to that effect. Most of them don't. Significant numbers of them die. Really, for the most part at least, they are not charlatans. Read Salvation; it was written by a skeptical and initially derisive reporter who came to understand the whole scene.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        No, can't say that I ever heard that. You talking about proper CroFab and such or just the incremental effect of previous bites?, which effect is of course implicit. How do you know that, BTW?
        
        Yes, same effect. Toxicology is part of my pathology fastracking, my Plan B if unable to skedaddle.
        
        Ice Nine 13 years ago
        
        No...how do you know that they are charlatans? The immunity derived from previous bites is, as I mentioned, implicit.
        
        What's "pathology fastracking"? I thought you were a surgeon.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        No...how do you know that they are charlatans?
        
        I'll have to find the link, but many snake handlers build up an immunity when doing this snake handling thing, unbeknownst to their flocks.
        
        What's "pathology fastracking"? I thought you were a surgeon.
        
        I am. If I am stuck here for an unforeseen reason, I will no longer be involved in direct patient care, and will complete a program in Comparative Pathology, where the effects of OhamneyCare will be most mitigated. Much cheaper insurance as well.
        
        Ice Nine 13 years ago
        
        Well, you know what they say: Medicine would be a great job if it weren't for the patients.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Herpetologist Bill Haast and mithradism. Snake handlers are aware of his work.
  3. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
    
    *gugugugasp* I'll just walk it off...
  4. VG Zaytsev 13 years ago
    
    True fact:
    
    His dad was also a snake handling pentie and died from a bite in the 80s.
  5. Emmerson Biggins 13 years ago
    
    I guess he didn't pray good enough.
3. Pi Guy 13 years ago
  
  Don't be sad, Honey. He's in a better place now.
4. Pi Guy 13 years ago
  
  I love this quote:
  
  "...the gun issued to Harrisburg Officer William Owens discharged..."
  
  Like, you know, guns are always just discharging without someone pulling the trigger.
  1. Pi Guy 13 years ago
    
    Above comment s'posed to follow "PA cop shoots wife in ass"
    
    Damned squirrels!
Karl Hungus 13 years ago

West Virginia Pentecostal preacher fucks around with rattlesnake, gets bit, dies,

http://news.yahoo.com/serpent-.....ories.html
1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
  
  Didn't the same thing happen already?
  1. Karl Hungus 13 years ago
    
    It did. Police believe the second one was a copycat incident.
    1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
      
      I thought it was the same snake on a spree
      1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        It was. Those serpentines really get around. Snakes on a Plane was s documentary, dont'cha know.
        
        Karl Hungus 13 years ago
        
        Snakes on a Plane was s documentary, dont'cha know.
        
        "Get this motherfuckin' snake off my motherfuckin' leg!"
Bee Tagger 13 years ago

Security professionals have suggested that the "Flame" virus found in Iranian government computers is the most complex ever discovered.

Is it needlessly complex? I'll be ready to blame the US government if that's the case.
1. Drake 13 years ago
  
  Damn thing was designed by committee, like the F35 and the tax code!
  1. some guy 13 years ago
    
    I hate the F35.
    
    "I know, let's build the front and back seperately in two different factories, run by two different companies, a thousand miles from each other. Then we'll just bolt them together when they're done. What could go wrong?"
    1. some guy 13 years ago
      
      Oops. I'm thinking of the F22. Still, there are plenty of reasons to hate the F35.
      1. Brett L 13 years ago
        
        One engine == single point of failure.
gaijin 13 years ago

...Romney is tied with Obama in swing-state polls.

Who will be the Sultan of Swing?
1. Rich 13 years ago
  
  Since "the Sultans played Creole" and a Creole is "a person of mixed European and black descent", it ain't looking good for Romney.
  1. gaijin 13 years ago
    
    +1
  2. sloopyinca 13 years ago
    
    Wait a minute, creole is still fine but mulatto is off limits? What's the ruling on mestizo?
    1. gaijin 13 years ago
      
      We should ask Elizabeth Warren?
    2. Quetzalcoatl 13 years ago
      
      A mosquito, my libido -- YEAH!
      1. kibby 13 years ago
        
        Oh damn you.
        
        Now I have to go find my Nirvana collection.
    3. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
      
      There's always melungeon
    4. mr simple 13 years ago
      
      Well, what's the word for it, Lana? You freaked out when I said 'quadroon.'
      1. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
        
        Imagine that.
    5. Suthenboy 13 years ago
      
      Creole is a meaningless term. We have zillions of 'them' here in Louisiana and everyone of them means something different by the term. Originally it meant europeans born here, then mixed this and that....who knows.
      
      I met a family once who spoke some very strange language that resembled nothing I have ever heard before. I asked them what it was and they had no name for it. They had hair kinda like blacks, features kinda like indians and white skin, blue eyes. I asked where they were from and they said from the swamps south of krotz springs in a community that had almost no contact with the outside world. They claimed to be creole, but were completely different from the creoles I know from the Cane river area in Natchitoches parish.
      
      I think Creole means 'not black or white', and generally they hate both of those groups. I dated a Creole girl once, ( I am a redneck peckerwood ) and she was excommunicated from her community for it. Her parents stopped speaking to her. They had actually set up an arranged marriage for her. The guy she was supposed to marry threatened to kill me.
      1. John 13 years ago
        
        The technical meaning of Creole is one who is not of American descent and whose family can be traced back to before the purchase. The Creoles were the Spanish, French, and Africans who lived in New Orleans when the US bought it. If your family goes back to one of those family, you are a "creole".
        
        Zeb 13 years ago
        
        Creole with a capital C, yes. There are also lots of different creoles and there is a more general definition. Basically a cultural mix resulting from a dominant culture and a dominated one mixing so that elements of both remain strong. Also refers to languages that come about in this way. Or that's what I have been led to understand.
      2. Spoonman. 13 years ago
        
        Louisiana is a weird ass place.
      3. John 13 years ago
        
        Back when you could tell them apart, the Creoles lived in the quarter and the Americans lived in the Garden District. It is why the street names are French in the quarter but change to their English translations when you cross Canal Street.
        
        T 13 years ago
        
        Yeah, that's not how the street names work. But nice urban legend.
        
        I'll agree that Louisiana is a weird place, though. I remember fleeing New Orleans from a hurricane and ending up in some swamp town because we bailed off the interstate. Nice people, friendly, and I couldn't understand a word they said.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        They don't go to the translations. But they go French to English. Chartres becomes Camp, Decatur becomes Magazine and so forth.
        
        T 13 years ago
        
        The translations was the part I had a problem with. North of the Quarter, they tend to have the same names all the way across.
        
        And contrary to what a lot of people think, the most expensive real estate in the city is in the Garden District.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        If I lived in New Orleans and money were not an issue, I would be living in the Garden District not the quarter.
        
        T 13 years ago
        
        We made an offer on a Quarter place last year. The Garden District is nice, but the price of admission is steep. For a weekend place, the Quarter worked better for us.
        
        But between the seller flaking out and my wife's desire to live inside the Loop, that fell through.
        
        Azathoth!! 13 years ago
        
        Try the Marigny.
      4. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
        
        wait, wait - were you in a platoon without live ammo?
Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

The "Flame" virus, the most complex computer bug ever discovered, has been lurking for years inside Iranian government computers, spying on the country's officials.

It will turn out Flame was responsible for most of the tweeting of state violence done during the 2009 Iranian protests.
1. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
  
  We can confirm this by comparing the language used with the language used on Radzinsky's twitter feed.
Bee Tagger 13 years ago

Rebels in Syria have threatened to withdraw from a ceasefire agreement unless the government does not begin observing the truce within 48 hours.

So they're going to shoot back if shot upon?
1. Quetzalcoatl 13 years ago
  
  Yeah, this sounds like "Syrian rebels point out that, despite a cease-fire agreement, firing has not ceased"
NotSure 13 years ago

Just like was done in previous votes in Ireland, if the vote does not go the EU way they will be asked to vote again and again until they do. Once the correct vote occurs they will never be asked to vote on this issue ever again, that is how democracy works !
1. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
  
  Just as in the US, the elites know what is best for the proles much better than than they do. They need to just STFU and take their Soma.
sloopyinca 13 years ago

Looks like Penna has their own Plaxico Burress. Only this guy isn't even facing charges* and he shot his wife in the ass instead of himself in the leg.

*Try to guess his profession.
1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
  
  *Try to guess his profession.
  
  I'm stumped. Let's see...clearly, this must be the work of a teacher. Those fuckers are nigh impossible to fire.
2. sarcasmic 13 years ago
  
  *Try to guess his profession.
  
  Let's see. He broke the law and is getting a pass. Law enforcement?
  1. Joe M 13 years ago
    
    Hold on there. Look at this incredible sentence:
    
    A city spokesman said the officer has been suspended without pay pending the outcome of an investigation.
    1. some guy 13 years ago
      
      Must be a typo.
      1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        As a rule, they'll let someone use accrued vacation and sick pay right out of the gate. (Thanks to union contracts) Also, cops often have insurance that will pay them in case of something like this.
        
        Don't worry, he's not gonna miss a single paycheck before this investigation concludes.
3. Drake 13 years ago
  
  Four rules - he broke at least two of them.
  
  http://thefiringline.com/Misc/safetyrules.html
  1. robc 13 years ago
    
    He shot his wife...Im not sure he broke any of them.
    1. Drake 13 years ago
      
      He winged her - not sure what that accomplished. Maybe he needed more guilt in his marriage.
      1. robc 13 years ago
        
        I didnt say he was a good shot.
4. Pi Guy 13 years ago
  
  I love this quote:
  
  "...the gun issued to Harrisburg Officer William Owens discharged..."
  
  Like, you know, guns are always just discharging without someone pulling the trigger.
invisible furry hand 13 years ago

Bestiality defendant just naive
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  If you're in your 50's, I think the naivety argument is not going to fly.
  1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
    
    I would attempt a dementia defense. Non Compus Mentis might actually fly here.
    1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
      
      Maybe a Non Compos Salacis
      1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        DRAT! I always misspell that!
2. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
  
  You know, I was going to write a thing about how I feel really bad for the spouses of people caught up in things like this (like Anthony Weiner's wife, for example), but I see they were both charged. I am pretty curious how they were discovered-- they used the internet for this and were caught that way?
  1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
    
    Sadly, there are no more details. A guy was caught a few years ago here in Sydney because he'd been buying rabbits on his corporate credit card, shagging and mutilating them in his office at night and then placing them in the dumpsters, leading to surveillance and his arrest. His office was only three or so blocks from the water, so it seems pure laziness not to dispose of one's bunny booty calls. Fun fact: his bail conditions bannned him from going within 500 m of a pet store
    1. fried wylie 13 years ago
      
      His office was only three or so blocks from the water, so it seems pure laziness not to dispose of one's bunny booty calls.
      
      C'mon, how many LawAndOrder episodes start with finding a body washed up on shore?
      1. AuH2O 13 years ago
        
        "Looks like someone tried to pull the rabbit out of the drink."
        
        Eh, damn it, my Lenny Briscoe quip sense just isn't firing today.
        
        Pi Guy 13 years ago
        
        "BE. OUR. GUEST!"
        
        How's that?
3. Ice Nine 13 years ago
  
  This is why you google your blind date's name before going out with her.
4. Suthenboy 13 years ago
  
  I am a little bit at a loss as to why anyone would care what gets her cookies off. Who did she hurt? Whose business is it really? Consenting adults and all that....I doubt the dogs protested.
  1. KMA Too 13 years ago
    
    Yeah, I don't think the dog COULD consent, ya know. Better to keep it in the human family.
  2. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
    
    Animals can't give consent.
5. Azathoth!! 13 years ago
  
  Funny, they talk about training the dog to do this--training/ Really? They'll do it to your leg if you let them. All that woman had to do was be in the right position and any dog would go to town.
  
  Dogs can't consent--so they'll just dry hump you until you get the idea.
Auric Demonocles 13 years ago

Is the NBA the worst run league in America?
1. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
  
  Or best? So they want to see a return on their Hornets' investment...
2. Brian D 13 years ago
  
  You sat that just because a team owned by the NBA won the Draft lottery or because they've clearly instructed the refs to ensure that Miami sweeps the East Finals?
  1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
    
    Did you watch the last two minutes of regulation and OT last night. Did they get those refs from the glory days of the WWF or WCW? I've never seen a more obvious fix than that. Tim Donaghy would be so proud.
    1. Brian D 13 years ago
      
      I stopped watching when they didn't call the clothesline on Rondo, but I listened from another room. Ridiculous. Same with the first quarter. Six or seven personal fouls on the Celtics and none on the Heat. Disgusting to watch. David Stern knows he's stuck with either San Antonio or Oklahoma City for half of the Finals, so he has to make sure there's a big market team somehow.
      1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        Is Miami a bigger market team than Boston? Or does the league just have so much invested in LeBron James that they can't let the Celtics win one last championship before Pierce, Allen and KG get too old?
        
        I hope the Spurs sweep the SuperSonics and do the same to the Heat.
        
        Brian D 13 years ago
        
        When your competition is the Marlins, Dolphins, and ICan'tRememberDoTheyStillEvenHaveAHockeyTeam, then yes, I suspect they're a bigger market for the NBA than Boston, who has a tough time attracting free agents and competes with the Bruins, Red Sox and Patriots.
        
        Although you do have a point about their investment in getting King James his first crown.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Boston is a big market. And because of its tradition, always garners big ratings. The NBA never cries when Boston makes the finals. They don't attract free agents for the same reason Philadelphia and Washington, two other cities with great tradition, don't. The typical NBA player is a moron with no sense of history who only wants to play in LA New York, Chicago, or Miami.
        
        But yes, the NBA is going to get James a title and try to restore the brand he destroyed when he left Cleveland. None of the Heat games are going to be called fairly.
        
        AuH2O 13 years ago
        
        John, there is a larger story behind Boston and its trouble drawing free agents: Racism.
        
        Seriously, look at how many Boston fans sent racist tweets when the Bruins lost this year in the playoffs off a goal by a black guy.
        
        Boston busing also springs to mind.
        
        Also, there are apparently a TON of anecdotes about black guys getting the cold shoulder in Boston. The one I remember is a story from Simmons' book of basketball how, when Bill Russel bought a nice house in the suburbs in a previous all white neighborhood, a neighbor or neighbors broke into his house and took a dump on his bed.
        
        Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
        
        You're an idiot if you actually think Boston is racist, especially the Celtics. They've got like every first black X in the NBA.
        
        And while there were some horrible tweets from that game, it's a tiny segment of the fan base and was only considered a story because reporters were looking for it. Every team has racist fans.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        AuH20,
        
        I don't buy that. Boston is no more or less racist than any other city. And if racism were the issue, Washington DC and Atlanta, the two most friendly places for black professionals, would be the most desirable places to play instead of being total NBA back waters.
        
        It is not racism. It is the winters and the desire to be somewhere they and the leeches they surround themselves with consider glamorous.
        
        AuH2O 13 years ago
        
        In terms of a team, the Celtics were the most racially progressive because all Aurbach cared about was winning, not color. However, I am just talking about possible perception: Guys in the locker room talk, and a little hearsay of, "Oh, did you hear that in Boston..."
        
        The winters definitely don't help, and the sense of history is probably lost on the AAU generation.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        I remember in the 1980s Spike Lee called the Celtics "A symbol of White Supremacy". This an organization that was the first to have five black starters, the first to hire a black coach. My God Lee is a moron.
        
        AuH2O 13 years ago
        
        But, see, John, that's my point: I was probably unfair about the Bruins thing (although it did get widely reported in the media), but in the main, perception is reality with these kind of things.
        
        Yes, historically, the Celtics have been one of the most progressive teams. But how many kids do you think really study that time period, especially when the only thing they have to watch are grainy Youtube clips? I mean, the 80s Celtics were amazing, but they got labelled as the "White" team, while the Pistons and the Lakers were the "Black" team (also, let us point out once again that Isiah Thomas was an idiot when he said that if Bird was black no one would care about him).
        
        Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
        
        John, you're right about the movie star aspect.
        
        To be fair to Miami, no state income tax is a legitimate thing to prefer about it.
        
        tarran 13 years ago
        
        It depends on what part of Boston you are talking about.
        
        The Celtics basketball team are definitely not racist - they pioneered recruiting black players during the early days of integration - but were painted that way because in the 1980's they put together an awesome team made up of some of the most outstanding players in the league, who happened to be white.
        
        But... Boston is a pretty racist place. The MA Liberals tend to condescend to blacks. The Irish and Italian Catholics - especially in the ethnic enclaves are quite racist. It's nowhere near as big an issue as in the 1980's - when there were genuine race riots when public housing was desegregated, but it's there.
        
        The good news is that the ethnic enclaves are collapsing - for reasons I don't quite understand. The end of rent control created conditions in Cambridge that dramatically reduced the incidents of crime - particularly of the black on white variety (the affected neighborhoods are still black, but landlords are more discriminating about who they rent to). The North End seems to be genrtifying, etc.
        
        My guess is that my generation is the last generation that's carrying the baggage of the old era, and the youngsters - who really ought to get off my lawn BTW - just don't care as much about it. Which, of course, is the end point that I think most people find desirable.
        
        tarran 13 years ago
        
        I forgot, re Spike lee and the Celtics:
        
        In the 1980's alot of people assumed the Celts were racist because the stars were mostly white, Boston's reputation for racism, and the Celts played a style of ball that was very different to what the inner-city kids were used to seeing.
        
        I don't know enough about basketball to state this with certainty, but the Celts were playing a style of ball that appears to be a sophisticated version of the pass until you set up a lay-up style that is associated with Indiana in the 1950's.
        
        So, you had a team of white players, playing white-style in a town in which people seeking to voluntarily desegregate were met with violence, and so it was a claim that had great 'truthiness'.
        
        It just happened to be completely ignorant. Ol' Red only cared about winning - and he didn't give a crap about race.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Tarran,
        
        You description of the 80s Celtics is the myth but it is also completely wrong. Larry Bird played black basketball if anyone ever did. People think he played "white" because he wasn't a great leaper. Nothing could be further from the truth. Bird grew up poor with a father who committed suicide when Bird was 10 or 12 years old. His game was wildly sophisticated and instinctual. He just didn't dunk. As a player he was more like Oscar Robertson than Bob Cousey. And he was also a notorious trash talker. The idea that the 80s Celtics were out of Hoosiers with Bird playing Jimmy Chitwood is one of the dumber myths the media has ever created.
        
        tarran 13 years ago
        
        Not having played basketball since 6th grade, I am utterly ignorant of the nuances of the game.
        
        My observation, though, was that the Celtics weren't merely Larry Bird and friends. Like the women of the planet Amazonia, the Celtics style of play *was* less flashy, more passing, more boring layups etc. Hence the name "the Green Machine."
        
        Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
        
        My observation, though, was that the Celtics weren't merely Larry Bird and friends. Like the women of the planet Amazonia, the Celtics style of play *was* less flashy, more passing, more boring layups etc.
        
        I'd concur with this. John's right that Bird was a huge trash-talker (and McHale was up there too), but watch the Celtics offense from that period, and it's a lot of inside-outside-inside passing to set up a layup by the bigs or three-pointer by Johnson or Ainge. They were also brutal on the boards, as McHale was notorious for getting second-chance points on offensive rebounds.
        
        The Lakers were more akin to street ball because Magic's amazing passing skills allowed for a greater margin of error on the breaks, plus Kareem's dead-eye on the jump-hook.
        
        Chupacabra 13 years ago
        
        I do think Boston more racist than most cities, but no way is that a detriment for NBA free agents now.
        
        Boston is a bad market because of the lack of sponsorship dollars, the weather, and the high tax rates. LA and NY can overcome the taxes through sponsorship deals.
        
        Plus, the team is currently comprised of over the hill stars. No free agent in their right mind would go there now.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        The team has one of the two best young point guards in the NBA. Any star would love to play with a guy who can get him the ball the way Rondo can.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        I love your enthusiasm for the Celtics, John. I wish you used it to address the Judge Napolitano story from earlier today, but what can you do...
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Sloopy I have addressed that issue over and over again. You just don't listen. But what can you do?
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        I guess it's one thing to give counterarguments to other posters on a blog, but another to dissect a Constitutional scholar with six books under his belt and a pretty solid national following. Especially when there's a basketball team to discuss.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Judge Napalitano is commenting on Hit and Run? If he is, I will gladly go at with him.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        You're a disingenuous fuck, John.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        And are fucking loon sloopy. Why is it my responsibility to post on every thread?
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        You selectively choose where to take your stand based on your audience. You know your arguments don't stand up to the scrutiny of a Constitutional and legal scholar IRT murderdrones. You would rather (conveniently) discuss the 80's Celtics dynasty and the street naming policies of New Orleans than dip your toe in that pond.
        
        That's why you're a disingenuous fuck. Now, please explain why I'm a loon.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        And are fucking loon sloopy
        
        Now that I re-read this, I don't even know what the fuck it means. Why don't you go take a remedial literacy program, John? You're already at the taxpayer teat posting on here all day. Make some use of our money for a change.
        
        Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
        
        If Rondo starts hitting shots like he did last night more than one game a year he may win MVP.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        And the taxes probably make less difference than you think. The Bruins, Patriots and the Red Sox attract free agents. If taxes where the problem, no athletes in any sport would want to come to Boston.
        
        Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
        
        John, to be fair the other Boston teams have some advantages in wooing free agents. The Patriots attract free agents because they are the best franchise since the turn of the century and a lot of players are thrilled to get the shot to play with Brady and Belichick. The Red Sox attract free agents because they can outspend anyone but the Yankees. The Bruins have the history of being an original six team, and (related) Boston is a big hockey town compared to a lot of the newer NHL cities.
        
        The Celtics should have the prestige of having the most championships of any NBA team, but NBA players don't seem to care about that.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        The Celtics should have the prestige of having the most championships of any NBA team, but NBA players don't seem to care about that.
        
        that is it. The top players want to play for five or six franchises and no where else. Even if Stern were not a crook, that fact alone would be ruining the league. Why should someone in Washington DC or Salt lake or Philadelphia care about the NBA? The players certainly don't care about them.
        
        Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
        
        Why should someone in Washington DC or Salt lake or Philadelphia care about the NBA?
        
        Because perhaps they can someday have a hometown hero superstar enter the draft the year they snag the #1 pick so he can jilt them a few years later on national TV.
        
        Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
        
        It is the winters and the desire to be somewhere they and the leeches they surround themselves with consider glamorous.
        
        This. Just look at Carmelo Anthony--he basically told the Nuggets, "Fuck you, I'll only play in Chicago or New York."
        
        And in relation to your other posts, its ridiculous that professional league commissioners in many sports aren't recognizing this and just letting some franchises die. How much better would the overall quality of play be if there were 10-12 NBA teams instead of the number they have now?
        
        Look at the NFL 30-40 years ago--even some of the garbage teams at that time had decent quarterbacks. Now it seems that there's only 3-4 worthy of starting in the league, and the rest are just lucky to be there. Pitching staffs in MLB are basically 1-2 good pitchers and a bunch of ham-and-eggers.
        
        At least half of all pro sports teams need to go away--what we have now is the equivalent of letting a bunch of mediocre schoolkids pass to the next level because we're worried about harming their self-esteem if they fail. It's not good for the game talent-wise, and the stadium rent-seeking hasn't resulted in a more affordable game experience for the fans, so what's the fucking point anymore?
      2. Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
        
        I was on a date so I only saw the second half, but the stats from I saw from the first half seem one-sided.
        
        I'm going to be at game 3. I'm thinking of trying to start a chant of something like "F the ref."
        
        Or maybe get a sign that says
        
        "Miami's greatest assest?
        James [ ]
        Wade [ ]
        Stern [X]"
        
        Brian D 13 years ago
        
        The latter would be awesome, but no way it gets on TV.
        
        fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        "Stern 3:16"
    2. AuH2O 13 years ago
      
      sloopy, you must be joking. The reason for the foul disparity is that the aging Celtics couldn't handle the Heat's athleticism!
      
      /Every NBA writer who wants to keep their access
  2. Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
    
    Combination.
    
    The Miami thing isn't just this series with the Celtics either. Technicals in the post season are Heat 6, opponents 25. And that counts the 2 they had versus the Pacers when they smashed a guy in the head and elbowed a guy in the throat in clearly premeditated manners but only got flagrant 1's.
    1. John 13 years ago
      
      David Stern is a crooked little bastard. It is not like this hasn't been going on for 20 years. Google the 01 Milwaukee Philadelphia series sometime. Then of course there was the 02 Kings Lakers series. Tim Donaghy flat out said that the games were fixed. And the world just yawned.
      
      Dwayne Wade can just charge into the pain and always draw a foul. Meanwhile, Miami takes Rajon Rondo's head off on a key layup that probably would have put the game away for the Celtics and there is no call.
      
      And now New Orleans, the team that the NBA owns, just happens to win the lottery when the top prize is the Unibrow, the best big man prospect since Tim Duncan. I am supposed to believe this shit isn't fixed?
      1. Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
        
        Do you realize that the lottery happened behind closed doors too? It's not like they did the ping pong ball thing that lotteries do. They just came out with the results already in an envelope.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        But they have an accounting firm that vouches for its validity. What is pathetic is that since the league is in bed with ESPN and Fox, the two main sources of sports journalism, the media will never call them out on it. You think ESPN was interested in following up on Donaghy's accusations and killing a cash cow?
        
        AuH2O 13 years ago
        
        It sadly isn't just the NBA. Look how long the CTE stuff to really pick up steam. And, as I recall, the ones leading that charge were the guys at Sports Illustrated, as they have no broadcast deal (sans Peter King who... ugh) and are too prestigious to be denied access. If the NFL took media passes of SI guys, then that in and of itself would be a story.
3. DesigNate 13 years ago
  
  Fuck Stern.
  1. Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
    
    Word. What do you think of my Stern sign idea I mentioned?
invisible furry hand 13 years ago

Porn actor 'who mailed body parts' to Canadian government filmed himself beheading victim... before posting horrific footage online titled 1 Lunatic 1 Pickaxe'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....z1wS2vgBLr
1. Brett L 13 years ago
  
  And I thought the Germans were leaders in the hard core snuff division.
Matrix 13 years ago

Self dentistry... Bama style. Roll turd roll!

Looks like a candidate for the Darwin Awards.
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  it's a miracle he made it to 61
2. Rich 13 years ago
  
  Don't be too hard on the guy until it's determined whether or not this in fact fixed his toothache.
3. Suthenboy 13 years ago
  
  What a fucking idiot, I just blew coffee out of my nose. Shoot it out? WTF?
  
  I have an uncle who is tough as nails. One of those guys who is born made out of iron. He has pulled 3 of his own teeth with pliers. I give the guy a toothbrush every year on his birthday.
  1. fried wylie 13 years ago
    
    He has pulled 3 of his own teeth with pliers. I give the guy a toothbrush every year on his birthday.
    
    Stop being a dick and get him something he could use, like pliers.
SugarFree 13 years ago

When you are the answer to the question you've asked...

"Just how fucking batty does a gal have to get before guys on the internet stop trying to fuck her?"
1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
  
  Come on! Everyone knows that the crazier they are the better they are in bed!
2. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  I think it's more to do with the shitty spelling etc, because they suggest she's stupid, and that's the attraction. For a quick shag at any rate
3. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  First rule of date club - Really horny men like stupid women.
4. Restoras 13 years ago
  
  Kids these days, banging over the internet. In my day, you did it in the back of your parents car, or in the half-finished basement.
5. ?Ex Nihilo? 13 years ago
  
  "Basically, you have to be an actual bath salted out cannibal eating some guy's face under a bridge in Florida."
  
  Or you could be 41 and have a cat and a PhD. Not sure which of those is the turn off.
  
  Or someone who posts on Jezebel. That would probably do it.
  1. AuH2O 13 years ago
    
    The PhD in "Why Men Suck" studies?
  2. tulip 13 years ago
    
    I'm over 40, have a cat and a PhD. None of those are apparently a turn off for men. Her problem must be something else. I wonder what it could be ... hmm, such a puzzler.
6. Atanarjuat 13 years ago
  
  First they're pissed because men won't bang their fat asses. Now they're mad when my try to bang them despite their flaws.
7. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
  
  Holy. Shit.
8. Joe M 13 years ago
  
  No no, you're missing the hilarity of this completely. For example:
  
  Random guy: Hi how are you?
  
  Marla: not 2 good been constipated 4 like days and days lol
  
  Random guy: Anal is supposed to help with that!
  1. SugarFree 13 years ago
    
    Nope. I'm saying that the key to turning off men is staring Jezebel editors and commenters right in the face.
    1. mr simple 13 years ago
      
      The only reason these women can't find a good man to marry them is because men are stupid. And pigs. Stupid pigs.
    2. Brett L 13 years ago
      
      Mirrors are tools of the patriarchy,dude.
      1. tulip 13 years ago
        
        It's not the mirror, it's the personality. Seriously. I am not pretty, but I have never lacked for male companionship and I typically date well above my class in terms of looks. It's not that hard - smile, listen and don't whine. That's all you have to do.
        
        Brett L 13 years ago
        
        I agree that the problem is between their ears. I was just taking cheap shots at SF.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        What's better than roses on your piano?
        
        Pi Guy 13 years ago
        
        I realize I'm not typically male in this respect but (and I'm not trying to pick you up) but I see Ph.D. as a turn-on.
        
        I've managed to hit it off with some 9s and 10s at the bar in my time but they're so often intellectual 3.5s that I want to stab them in the eye withh a cocktail fork after 2 mins of "Blah, blah, blah..."
        
        Seriously, Jez - man-hating is not the same thing as pro-women.
  2. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
    
    Now that is an happy guy with a positive outlook on life.
9. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
  
  Aww come on. "Marla" was a masterful troll. I especially thought her profile was awesome. I am just surprised that the Jezehellions are surprised that there were some guys that showed interest.
  1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
    
    Jezebellians are like my children. There is no emotion they enjoy more than indignant.
10. BakedPenguin 13 years ago
  
  Well, someone apparently fucked Mary Stack at one point.
  1. JW 13 years ago
    
    My money is on Warty. With his own dick.
    1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
      
      My money is on John*. What else could have inspired the crazy obsession with him? His charm?
      
      * with Warty's dick, of course
11. mr simple 13 years ago
  
  Yes, Ms Ryan marches out another "Men are disgusting pigs and will fuck anything that moves" rant. How shocked she must be that their commentariat are not responding with the usual feminist solidarity. It's too bad she's obviously shut out all rational people in her life or maybe someone could tell her why she can't maintain a relationship.
  1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
    
    "Men are disgusting pigs and will fuck anything that moves"
    
    John doesn't represent all men.
    1. John 13 years ago
      
      But you can't fall into the other ditch either there sarcasmic. Well you can but it is called playing on the other team.
      1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
        
        having standards != playing on the other team
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Whatever gets you through the night Sarcasmic.
        
        sarcasmic 13 years ago
        
        xkcd has a cartoon about John.
        
        http://xkcd.com/398/
  2. Brett L 13 years ago
    
    Its really not about moving. Its more about getting something to hold still long enough.
12. Suthenboy 13 years ago
  
  The link isnt working for me, but the first two words that popped into my head were -
  Mary and Stack.
13. JW 13 years ago
  
  Wait, we're supposed to have limits as to who we'll fuck? When did this happen?
  1. T 13 years ago
    
    "18 to 80, blind, crippled, or crazy. If she can't walk, I'll drag her."
sloopyinca 13 years ago

Now they're just throwing immunity in peoples' faces and passing the buck to Congress.

Is there not a politician out there with the balls to take this "sovereign immunity" on? Not a single one?
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  Nope. This is just preparation for what's to come when the government really starts to run out of money.
2. VG Zaytsev 13 years ago
  
  the court said that under the doctrine of sovereign immunity, the government can't be required to pay damages for violating one of its own laws unless Congress expressly says so.
  
  That's downright funny seeing as how sovereign immunity is a bullshit concept entirely invented by the court system.
db 13 years ago

Many times I just don't get Zero Hedge. The link is about a Greek retiree who hanged himself publicly in a statement on debt. His suicide note explains his protest against the government and that he "plunged [him]self in debt."

The Zero Hedge commenters follow up with a storm of comments to the effect that this guy was driven to debt by the evil debtmongers and he bears less responsibility. This frantic searching for a scapegoat is typical of ZH. F
I thought ZH's point was to expose how everybody's fucked because of their own (and society's) actions based on wishful thinking and belief in unicorn economies, but the commenters (and frequently the posters) over there just don't seem to get it.

You can't have it both ways folks: you can't rail at people's economic stupidity and then blame some overarching "other" for your problems that are brought about by your individual decisions, no matter how much you claim to have been influenced by that group stupidity.
1. Restoras 13 years ago
  
  The Jezebel of finance blogs?
2. gaijin 13 years ago
  
  Not sure where you got that the ZH mission is a nice neat narrative about concerns unicorns and fatalism...the actual mission stated on the site:
  
  our mission:
  
  to widen the scope of financial, economic and political information available to the professional investing public.
  to skeptically examine and, where necessary, attack the flaccid institution that financial journalism has become.
  to liberate oppressed knowledge.
  to provide analysis uninhibited by political constraint.
  to facilitate information's unending quest for freedom.
  
  Bound to be some divergent views expressed in such an environment I'd say.
  1. db 13 years ago
    
    Ok. Read the article. Figure out what the author's likely intent was. Then compare the readers' comments to that and evaluate whether the author has succeeded in getting his point across. It often seems that ZH readers (at least the ones who comment there) are some of the worst examples of economic illiteracy that ZH by its own mission statement seeks to correct.
    1. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
      
      I can hardly read ZH anymore just because the commenters are so out there so much of the time these days. I suppose this is the inevitable cycle of all internet forums, but it seems like their comment section has actually gotten worse since registration was enacted. Now it's just a bunch of conspiracy theorists who talk about hoarding gold like a dragon in a fantasy novel.
      1. db 13 years ago
        
        I almost never read the comments. The morass of paranoia, ignorance, and stupidity is too thick to penetrate. The craziness by the author(s) and guest authors on radiation and peak oil is a bit off-putting but they do seem to have a handle on govt and financial market BS.
3. SugarFree 13 years ago
  
  But I commited one horrendous crime: I became a professional at age 40 and I plunged myself in debt.
  
  Anyone care to translate this from suicidal Greek for me? Because it sounds like he didn't start working until he was 40. If that's the case, I'm not sure "austerity" is the problem.
  1. fried wylie 13 years ago
    
    it sounds like he didn't start working until he was 40
    
    Sounds to me like he made the transition from grocery bagger to Professional at 40.
Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

Ron Paul fans are planning a three-day festival just before the Republican National Convention...

I'm picturing the pagan dancing scene from Matrix: Reloaded.
1. Restoras 13 years ago
  
  With less people.
  1. T 13 years ago
    
    Certainly less attractive people.
    1. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
      
      And then the robots descend.
      1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
        
        sex 'bots?
        
        Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
        
        The convention goers.
2. fried wylie 13 years ago
  
  I'm picturing the pagan dancing scene from Matrix: Reloaded.
  
  Why would you willingly picture something that retarded?
  1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
    
    Bath saltz?
    1. fried wylie 13 years ago
      
      don't buy into the hype. not even bathsaltz could result in a state of mind that deranged.
3. Quetzalcoatl 13 years ago
  
  Matrix: Reloaded
  
  I'm not sure what movie you're referring to. Do you mean the 1999 film The Matrix, which was awesome and unfortunately never had any sequels although it totally should have because there's no way that they would have been disappointing?
  1. Brett L 13 years ago
    
    Must be some sort of fanfic.
SugarFree 13 years ago

Who know who's funny? People who don't have to argue that they are funny.

The Stink of Desperation
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  Dude, you're rotting your brain over there. Come back to the land of the living.
2. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
  
  My favorite part:
  
  Jezebel writes: My problem is with the reporting on this study, and others like it, which, without fail, credulously latches on to a titillating but fundamentally sexist notion: that women might just be biologically less funny than men.
  
  Which is then immmediately followed up by an "example": Michael Kerr, a motivational speaker and expert on humor in the workplace, says this is due in part to how men and women are socialized.
  
  Nature vs nurture? Neither. They're the same according to Jezebel.
3. ant1sthenes 13 years ago
  
  Welp, I checked to see if the byline said Sarah Silverman, then I closed it.
4. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
  
  This is a good example of what I find particularly egregious about Jezebel: Hey, Men, I'm Funnier Than You
  
  Why does everything have to be a fucking competition? She would have been on the side of the angels if she would have just stuck to the facts in debunking/ discussing this study instead of throwing emotion and invective at it.
  1. John 13 years ago
    
    And if it is going to be a competition, a word of advice. Find someone who is actually funny to be your standard bearer.
  2. AuH2O 13 years ago
    
    Hades' Archivist, it is really quite simple. Women have to better/stronger/smarter than men, because otherwise their failures in life would be their own, instead of the fault of the insidious patriarchy which has its tentacles everywhere, daily thwarting any female ambition despite obvious female superiority.
  3. JW 13 years ago
    
    instead of throwing emotion and invective at it.
    
    What? And have a blank screen? Come now.
  4. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
    
    Are there honestly any really funny female comedians? I don't mean sluts like Chelsea Handler or goons like Sarah Silverman, I mean women that actually deliver honest-to-goodness belly laughs on a consistent basis.
    
    I've always gotten the biggest laughs out of black male comedians. They seem more willing to be honest, and thus, tend to be funnier. Women comedians, on the other hand, seem to use spite as the basis for their comedy, rather than honesty.
    1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
      
      Lisa Lampinelli (sp?) can be pretty funny. Again, she's just mimicking Andrew Dice Clay, so it's 100% derivative, but still, she can be pretty funny.
    2. Emmerson Biggins 13 years ago
      
      Sometimes i think Maria Bamford is pretty funny. Sometimes I don't. Don't detect any spite in their though.
  5. JW 13 years ago
    
    I can't believe that no one has caught this yet:
    
    That's not funny!
5. mr simple 13 years ago
  
  I didn't know liking to laugh was a strictly feminine arena.
  
  Guess dudes need to learn how to air their nuts out and lighten the fuck up, maybe they'd be a lot happier.
  
  Right, because the angry screed about how people don't think they're funny was written by a man. Oh, the blind stupidity.
6. WTF 13 years ago
  
  Interesting that the entire article proves just how funny she's not.
7. JW 13 years ago
  
  I know that I couldn't stop laughing, reading that.
  1. Bobarian 13 years ago
    
    The difference between laughing 'at' and laughing 'with' someone.
8. bostonaod 13 years ago
  
  nothing would please me more than to turn on a Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn and see panel guests Jim Norton, Patrice Oneal, Nick DiPaolo, and.. Lindy West!
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

GOP groups plan record $1 billion blitz
http://www.politico.com/news/s.....76849.html

With a visit by the evil Koch Brothers:

That total includes previously undisclosed plans for newly aggressive spending by the Koch brothers, who are steering funding to build sophisticated, county-by-county operations in key states. POLITICO has learned that Koch-related organizations plan to spend about $400 million ahead of the 2012 elections - twice what they had been expected to commit.

Just the spending linked to the Koch network is more than the $370 million that John McCain raised for his entire presidential campaign four years ago. And the $1 billion total surpasses the $750 million that Barack Obama, one of the most prolific fundraisers ever, collected for his 2008 campaign.
1. gaijin 13 years ago
  
  Geo Will had an interesting opinion piece on Citizen's United/Political spending today...in essence, Proctor and Gambol [grin] will spend twice as much on convincing Americans to use their brand of detergent than both parties PLUS PACs will spend together convincing us to vote for a presidential candidate...but that will be little comfort to those easily moved to histrionics about money and politics.
  1. BakedPenguin 13 years ago
    
    That will only make the usual suspects whine about how evil advertising is.
2. rac3rx 13 years ago
  
  Interesting perspective, since a lot of media outlets breathlessly reported over and over about how awesome it is that Obama is going to raise and spend $1B on his campaign. Well, that was until he hasn't been able to raise half that.
John 13 years ago

Interesting side note to the Obama Polish Death Camps gaffe. Apparently the Pols were already pissed off because Obama has repeatedly refused to meet privately with Lech Walensa. That to me is very revealing. Walensa is one of the most significant and interesting figures of the 20th Century. I stuns me that an American President wouldn't want to meet with him out of personal interest alone. And it is not like is a controversial figure in most of the world. So why would Obama offend an ally and not meet him?

Here is one theory. That Obama really is a communist. And that like the petty grudges he still holds against the British over his father being Kenyon, he is still angry at Walensa for playing such a huge role and ending communism in Eastern Europe.

I am open to other theories.
1. ?Ex Nihilo? 13 years ago
  
  I am open to other theories.
  
  How about he is a clueless fuck who doesn't understand how his actions are perceived by others. And that those actions have consequences.
  1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
    
    that would fit his narcissism tag perfectly.
  2. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
    
    I subscribe to your theory. I honestly think he thinks everyone thinks he is as wonderful as he does.
  3. Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago
    
    He needs better handlers then. A few not from Chicago perhaps.
    1. Pro Libertate 13 years ago
      
      While I think Obama is a schmuck, corrupt, not terribly bright, socialistic, and bitter, I think his bigger problem is the people he's surrounded himself with. Many of his gaffes should've been easily avoided. Frankly, I think he slips up more than his predecessor.
      1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        Frankly, I think he slips up more than his predecessor.
        
        RAAAAAAAAACIST!!!!!!!
      2. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        He does, but he's ensconced in this Cult of Personality (cue Vernon Reid), Pro'L Dib. It really has been exceptional at deflecting criticism that would have felled greater administrations, even with the apparatchiks with whom he has surrounded himself.
        
        T 13 years ago
        
        Vernon Reid is a guy who deserves more recognition for being an excellent guitar player.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        I meant no disrepect, T. It just seemed appropos here. Every time I hear that term "Cult of Personality", I immediately hear the intro riff by said virtuoso.
        
        Every. Time.
        
        Pro Libertate 13 years ago
        
        One of the best flash-in-the-pan hits ever. What did they have, one other song on the charts?
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        More on the awesome that is Living Colour.
      3. AuH2O 13 years ago
        
        See, here's the thing: Obama must be a bitch of a candidate to work with. See, good candidates say to themselves, "My staffers, who have won more elections than me, are all saying I should do X, so I should do X, even if I disagree." Now, that isn't true every time- sometimes you do and should stand on principle. But it is better to be a little more malleable than always fire/never hire the kind of people who can shove you into a room and say, "Listen, you twit, we are doing X, I don't care if you like Y because Y loses you an election. How many have you won? I've won [bigger number]."
  4. VG Zaytsev 13 years ago
    
    How about he is a clueless fuck who doesn't understand how his actions are perceived by others. And that those actions have consequences.
    
    Yep, nailed it.
  5. Emmerson Biggins 13 years ago
    
    ya. I'm going with the Occam's Razor here. Stupid and narcissistic is a much simpler explanation.
    
    I don't think commie-loving can be discounted altogether though.
    1. Emmerson Biggins 13 years ago
      
      can't be.
      1. Emmerson Biggins 13 years ago
        
        jeesus. original was right. just forget the whole thing now.
2. gaijin 13 years ago
  
  Modified Alternative theory: The large Polish Community in Chicago didn't vote for state senator Obama in 1996. Petty grudge intact.
  1. John 13 years ago
    
    That is a good theory too. But how pathetic is that? Who wouldn't want to meet Walensa out of curiosity alone? That is one of the advantages of being President. You get to meet people like Walensa. And it is not like there is any downside to meeting him.
3. kinnath 13 years ago
  
  Solidarity changed the fucking world.
  
  It is staggering how completely inept Obama is.
  1. John 13 years ago
    
    If a white President refused to meet with Nelson Mandela, people would right I think suspect him of racism. What is Obama's problem here?
    1. ant1sthenes 13 years ago
      
      He's racist against Poles?
    2. kinnath 13 years ago
      
      Oval Office crossed with Entitlement Mentality.
  2. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
    
    Solidarity changed the fucking world.
    
    It should also be pointed out that The Catholic Church, under the Papacy of Pope John Paul II, was instrumental in this. This could be another reason why His Pestilency appears to really hate the Catholic Church, despite strong Catholic support initially for ObamneyCare because the Church's stance on UHC.
    1. Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
      
      UHC - Ultimate Humidor Championship?
      1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        Probably Universal Health Care. But I may be wrong. It could mean United Homosexual Clergy.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        First one. You win a Kewpie doll.
4. tarran 13 years ago
  
  It could be that Obama doesn't like being upstaged. I also suspect he's uncomfortable around people who aren't cowed by his power.
  
  Walesa faced down the end product of one of the most brutal regimes that existed in the 20th century. Obama is a piker compared to him.
  
  On the other hand, his petulance is apparently legendary, so you could well be right.
  1. John 13 years ago
    
    Obama is the ultimate petty bully. A truly great man with balls like Walesa would crush him in person. So you may be onto something.
  2. Quetzalcoatl 13 years ago
    
    Ya like dags?
  3. VG Zaytsev 13 years ago
    
    Hmmm...
    
    The comment ...he had to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral... does fit him too, doesn't it.
5. NoVAHockey 13 years ago
  
  FWIW, this incident finally pushed the remaining family members over the edge. First was the needless fight with the Bishops. But the Polish side (Western PA) of the family has had enough. They'll probably just sit this one out
6. Brett L 13 years ago
  
  I blame Joe Biden. Biden obviously was messing with TOTUS before they packed it up and sent it to Poland.
7. WTF 13 years ago
  
  What's a Polish death camp? The guards march themselves into the ovens?
  
  (I couldn't help myself. I know I'm a bad person.)
8. JW 13 years ago
  
  I am open to other theories.
  
  Kielbasa trauma memories.
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

5 Pitfalls that Could Block Obama's Reelection
http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/.....aspx#page1

Policy changes at this point would not take effect for months, though a quick resolution to the CBO's "Taxmageddon" of tax hikes and scheduled spending cuts might produce enough relief in the investment community to spark a hiring rally. That would require Obama to cut a deal with Republicans in Congress on tax rates, and so far, neither party has suggested even a formula for a compromise.

If Obama wants to win this election, he can't depend on the promise of another mirage Recovery Summer. The President has to address five pitfalls into which he and his campaign have already stumbled if he wants to remain President.
invisible furry hand 13 years ago

like a fool, i dropped in on http://www.hugoschwyzer.net/blog/ and discovered he's fathered a son. Cue anxieties about the kid growing up to be a rapist (and not a lesbian, as seems far more likely).

Anyway, the son has had a "brit". This is not a typo for bris, as he uses it multiple times. What is a brit?
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  The non-yiddish version of a bris
2. SugarFree 13 years ago
  
  "Bris" is the Yiddish for Brit Milah, the circumcision covenant.
  1. SugarFree 13 years ago
    
    Also nice to know that the sensitive feminist man is cool with mutilating his son's genitalia.
    1. fried wylie 13 years ago
      
      circumcision is just a compromise until modern feminism can convince sensitive feminist fathers to completely remove the genitalia from their male children.
      1. Ska 13 years ago
        
        I'd hate to see the conspiracy that a Varis army can cook up.
    2. nicole 13 years ago
      
      Well, SF, clearly he did it for the ladies. You know how freaked out they can be by natural, unmutilated dudes.
      1. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
        
        Interestingly, when I was giving birth to my sprog I had to sign a bunch of papers, one of which was permission to circumsize the baby if it were a boy. Leaving aside the appropriateness of asking a woman in labor to sign papers, there was no counseling or whatever at all about it. So I said I wasn't going to sign that, and if my baby was a son I absolutely did not want him to be circumsized. The resident, who was a male, incidentally, was absolutely flabbergasted. My takeaway from that was that there is very little thought at all put into that procedure, either from men or women, even people who should be devoting thought to it.
3. Isaac Bartram 13 years ago
  
  I'm not going to click that link.
  
  There are some things I prefer to remain blissfully ignorant about.
  
  🙂
4. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
  
  It's a shorthand for British unit alpha thalassemia, which is a Duffy blood grouping disorder, here.
5. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
  
  Also, he may have doubts about his son's sexuality.
  
  More on the Duffy antigen system here.
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

Washington Post: Time for U.S. leadership on Syria
http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....story.html

The reality is that the killing in Syria will continue, and the threat to vital U.S. interests across the Middle East will grow, until Mr. Obama stops counting on the likes of Kofi Annan and Vladi?mir Putin to spare him from the responsibility that should be shouldered by a U.S. president. The longer he waits, the greater the cost ? in children's lives, among other things.
1. John 13 years ago
  
  Don't worry, they will lose their taste for such interventions around January 21st of next year.
2. sloopyinca 13 years ago
  
  The reality is that the killing in Syria will continue unless and until the US steps in and kills more people in the name of peace than the Syrian forces have done to this point.
  
  Let the WaPo know I fixed it for them.
  1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
    
    it's killing all the way down.
    1. ?Ex Nihilo? 13 years ago
      
      in children's lives, among other things.
      
      It's for the chillin.
      1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        I'm sure John supports it. In fact, he probably thinks Obama already has a green light to go in since somebody, somewhere in Syria said the words Al Queda over lunch in the past 10 years.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        If you would like to explain the international law of armed conflict to you one more time, I will be happy to.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        If you would like to explain the international law of armed conflict to you one more time, I will be happy to.
        
        Explain it to Andrew Napolitano at the same time, please.
        
        T 13 years ago
        
        Who cares if he's got the authority? Last time I checked, Libya was of dubious legality and the nation yawned.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Libya was flat out illegal under US law. And legal under international law.
        
        sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        International Law is of no consequence when compared to the Constitution.
        
        fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        said the words Al Queda over lunch in the past 10 years.
        
        "I said quesadilla, you worthless excuse for a waiter!"
3. WTF 13 years ago
  
  What vital US interests are threatened by a Syrian civil war?
  1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
    
    But, but, but...Al Queda! 9/11! Spread of Islam!
    1. WTF 13 years ago
      
      And all military age males in Syria are 'militants' ripe for the killin' because Syria is a combat zone!
John 13 years ago

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/.....mated.html

Unexpectedly the economy grew less than previous estimates
1. tarran 13 years ago
  
  I'm stunned! Poor Obama, his super awesomey theories just can't overcome month after month of bad luck!
  1. BakedPenguin 13 years ago
    
    Obama should give a speech on the national malaise.
  2. Somalian Road Corporation 13 years ago
    
    You're supposed to blame the kulak hoarders and wreckers--er, excuse me, Republican obstructionism--instead of bad luck now.
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

Chen Guangcheng: How China Flouts Its Laws
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05.....ef=opinion

The fundamental question the Chinese government must face is lawlessness. China does not lack laws, but the rule of law. As a result, those who handled my case were able to openly flout the nation's laws in many ways for many years.

Although China's criminal laws, like those of every country, are in need of constant improvement, if faithfully implemented they could yet offer its citizens significant protection against arbitrary detention, arrest and prosecution. Countless legal officials, lawyers and law professors have labored for decades to produce constitutional and legislative rules intended to prevent a recurrence of the nightmarish anti-rightist campaign and other "mass movements" of the 1950s and the later abominations of the Cultural Revolution of 1966-76.

You know what other nation lacked the rule of laws?
1. fried wylie 13 years ago
  
  Although China's criminal laws, like those of every country, are in need of constant improvement
  
  "No violence against persons or their property."
  
  Would love an explanation for the "need of constant improvement".
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

The case against Governor Romney is the case against President Obama
http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=51825

ABC News has "obtained" (hmmm... I wonder who gave it to them?) a 14-page research document that "reveals the breadth of material Democrats plan to deploy, listing dozens of examples of Romney rhetoric and corresponding video clips from 2002, 2012, and the comparative results in Massachusetts." Team Obama will highlight all the failures and unfulfilled promises of Gov. Mitt Romney.

Seems like the topic of "unfulfilled promises" would be an area best avoided by Obama, but it's nice to see we're moving on to Phase 2. And so soon.
Ben the Duck 13 years ago

Elizabeth "Fauxcahontas" Warren: Yeah, I lied When I Said I Didn't Tell Harvard I Was A High-Cheekboned American
1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
  
  For extra grins'n'giggles: check out the Amazon reviews for Pow Wow Chow, the book containing Warren's made up "Native American recipes."
  
  You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll open a casino.
2. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
  
  It's all good. According to Gov Deval Patrick, the people of Mass don't care about that.
  1. VG Zaytsev 13 years ago
    
    Lying is a qualification for office in MA.
    1. Brett L 13 years ago
      
      Shouldn't they have higher standards on liars then? Or is getting caught lying part of the initiation?
      1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
        
        This Embarrassing Clip of Elizabeth Warren Melting Down When Asked About Her Family Lore Is So Good It Hurts
3. Somalian Road Corporation 13 years ago
  
  A quick Google seems to indicate that the Daily Show hasn't said a word about Elizabeth Warren, mocking or otherwise, since the scandal blowup. I only see her earlier fluff pieces.
  
  Don't suppose anybody who regularly watches can confirm? It just comes to mind because I have some friends and family who just can't understand why I stopped watching the Daily Show/Colbert Report in recent years.
  1. fried wylie 13 years ago
    
    the transition from critical satirist to cockgobbling sycophant isn't explanation enough?
    1. Ben the Duck 13 years ago
      
      There was a transition...?
      1. Somalian Road Corporation 13 years ago
        
        I watched and enjoyed it with friends on a regular basis for quite some time. George W. Bush was a uniter, alright.
      2. Bobarian 13 years ago
        
        I think the awarding of the peabody award was the real turning point. After that Stewart went into full fart huffing mode.
  2. nicole 13 years ago
    
    I do watch pretty much every episode of the Daily Show, and I don't think I've seen anything about this, but I'm also not sure when the scandal started to go public--the show was off the air for the two weeks leading up to Memorial Day.
Mo' $parky 13 years ago

Bloomberg claims there's more than one way to slim the fat.

A spokesman for the New York City Beverage Association, Stefan Friedman, criticized the proposal as "zealous." He said officials should seek solutions that are actually going to curb obesity.
1. T 13 years ago
  
  Notably excluded: alcoholic beverages. I guess Mikey ain't as concerned about our health as he claims.
2. mr simple 13 years ago
  
  Of course Mr Friedman willingly accepts that there will be government coercion on the issue, he just doesn't like it when it impinges on his business.
sloopyinca 13 years ago

Cops shoot unarmed man sitting in car seven times. Nothing else happens.
1. sarcasmic 13 years ago
  
  From a link on your linked page Molly Ringwald: Pretty in Pink's "Duckie" Was Gay and Jon Cryer disagrees.
  
  My opinion: Jon Cryer is gay.
  1. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
    
    "I didn't realize it then -- I just knew that my character shouldn't end up with him, because we didn't have that sort of chemistry.
    
    LOL at this--yeah, I'm sure it was "chemistry" and not Blaine's massive trust fund that got Andi's panties in a puddle. "Pretty in Pink" is the classic example of a woman "marrying up." Howard Deutch did the "underdog wins" update when he made "Some Kind of Wonderful."
    1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
      
      Talk about gay. Who didn't think Watts was a lesbian in that? And why, why would any thinking man choose any woman from the 80's over Lea Thompson? They should have got Corky to play the role of Keith. He was obviously retarded.
      1. Red Rocks Rockin 13 years ago
        
        Oh lord--"SKW" is basically a feminist's version of the romance triangle; the less attractive butch female ends up with the twink ginger she's been pining to spend the rest of her life dominating.
        
        SKW is basically a 1.5 hour version of "FUCK YOU DAD" on film.
  2. Brett L 13 years ago
    
    Like Jon Cryer isn't in actor hell right now. Watching your cash cow get destroyed by Charlie Sheen's career implosion and then having Ashton Kutcher come in to burn the pieces into ash and plow them under must suck.
2. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
  
  Sweet holy fuck:
  
  The lawsuit alleges officers at the scene were negligent during their interaction with Gibson. The suit also alleges Metro's use of the AR-15 contributed to Gibson's death.
  
  Ya think?!?!?!
  1. fried wylie 13 years ago
    
    you say that like it's obvious. I think what the suit is trying to convey is that the gun was a sentient accessory, if not the ringleader, of the murder.
    1. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
      
      Officer: "I don't know what happened. The beanbag broke the window and then my gun just jumped up and started spraying bullets. It was all I could do to keep it from discharging towards the other officers."
Joe M 13 years ago

Report: Chavez's cancer has 'entered the end stage'
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  Still not fast enough
  1. ?Ex Nihilo? 13 years ago
    
    Still not fast enough
    
    No, I think the speed is just about right.
2. SugarFree 13 years ago
  
  He's just said he never thought of nationalizing his cancer, so the whole country could share in his disease equally.
  1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
    
    Don't worry, he will. If he has to, he will take them all with him.
    
    If the story is true, I give him 3 months. 6 months, tops.
3. John 13 years ago
  
  Not all of the news is bad today. I hope it is really painful and the Cubans are running short of pain drugs.
  1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
    
    I assure you, John, he is absolute agony, even with very strong painkillers.
    
    I hate him too, but try not to have too much schadenfreude here.
    1. fried wylie 13 years ago
      
      but try not to have too much schadenfreude here.
      
      Fuck that. Worthless pieces of shit deserve all the derision that can be mustered.
      1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Fair enough. I'll just wait until he's dead to piss on his grave, wylie. It's a doc thang.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Although Groovus, not everyone who dies of cancer dies in pain. Some cancers never produce much pain at all. That is why it is such a killer. You can have it for a long time and not know it.
        
        tarran 13 years ago
        
        My roommate in college died from cancer 3 years ago. It was stage 4 by the time he went to see a doctor about his backpain.
        
        When it started, he thought that it was just one of those things that happen when you hit 35 and your stiffness and achiness after a workout start lasting longer.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Although Groovus, not everyone who dies of cancer dies in pain. Some cancers never produce much pain at all. That is why it is such a killer. You can have it for a long time and not know it.
        
        Really John? I never knew that! Man, I should just hand you my stethoscope. Flabbergasted, I am. I really must review the concept of "End Stage Colonic Rhabdomyosarcoma" I'm sure you are much more the expert than I.
        
        John 13 years ago
        
        Calm down Groovus. Just because I point something out doesn't mean I don't think you know it. And I have no idea what kind of cancer asshole has. Just bringing up the possibility that he might not be in pain.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Just bringing up the possibility that he might not be in pain.
        
        Fair enough, John. I just find that very unlikely, given his condition. But he probably has the best in painkillers available, so in that sense you are correct.
        
        I'm sorry I jumped down your throat, John. Sincerest apologies. I'm just in a bad mood.
        
        fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        we should all chip in and get a party-bus for transport to the graveyard.
        
        Lord Humungus 13 years ago
        
        with a New Orleans jazz band!
        
        fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        I'm not a fan of jazz, so I'm not chipping in for that.
        
        Pro Libertate 13 years ago
        
        He's not your patient. . .or is he?
John 13 years ago

http://dailycaller.com/2012/05.....questions/

This is hysterical.

Obama deputy campaign manager Stephanie Cutter tried out the new tactic during a May 30 appearance on MSNBC's "Daily Rundown," when she was asked about the president's support for Solyndra.

"The president's not picking winners and losers, he's making strategic investment to promote clean energy," she said. "Mitt Romney's role at Bain Capital was to make profits for his investors and for himself. ? There were winners and losers, but Mitt Romney always won."

On Tuesday, Carney fended off a similar question with a 42-second evasive answer. "Look, there, there, there is the ? the difference in that ? your overall view of what your responsibilities are as president, and what your view of the economic future is," he said.
1. Joe M 13 years ago
  
  Well, the sad/funny thing is, even when Obama picks a winner, he picks a loser.
  1. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
    
    Good point. He's not picking winners AND losers. That's a true statement. He's only picking losers.
    1. John 13 years ago
      
      And more importantly whatever Obama is doing he is doing it with our money. Why should I care what Romney did at Bain? It was not my money.
      1. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
        
        Yes. That might be a good approach for Romney to take, too. "President Obama wants to focus on who is the better gambler with your money when the real issue is that the President shouldn't be gambling with your money."
      2. Joe M 13 years ago
        
        But don't you see? That's precisely why what he did was wrong! He wasn't doing it on behalf of The People.
Elspeth Flashman 13 years ago

Lessons from a slut:
http://www.yourtango.com/20121.....-teach-you

apparently I was a slut in training before I met my husband. Now I have lost whatever small skills I had at flirting 🙂 oh well.
1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
  
  TMI
2. Hell's Librarian 13 years ago
  
  This woman would be shredded on Jezebel, who are all about as sex-negative and prudish as you can be without putting covers on your piano limbs. But I think she gives some pretty good and useful advice.
  1. Elspeth Flashman 13 years ago
    
    I thought the "horny is not sexy" was a good point to be made.
    1. fried wylie 13 years ago
      
      yeah, I prefer my sex partners to be as not-horny as possible...wait, what?
      1. Elspeth Flashman 13 years ago
        
        Sexiness is not just about wanting sex. Sexiness is what turns you on . . .
        maybe I am getting into the TMI category, though.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        No TMI, Liz. This cannot be repeated enough and more men and women would do well to remember this fact. It is one of the secrets to both true intimacy and and a more fulfilling sexual relationship, something from which every person can benefit in their personal relationships.
        
        It's very libertarian of you.
    2. SugarFree 13 years ago
      
      "Never tell a man you don't hate that you are 'wet' if you aren't willing to let him find out for himself."
3. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
  
  "#1 - Fat Naked is still nakedfat."
4. JW 13 years ago
  
  Naked?even rolling fat, cellulite naked?is still naked and okay by just about every single guy out there. Trust me. I know this. I've been with them, remember?
  
  She must have notched her bedpost off after only a couple weeks.
5. Apatheist ?_?? 13 years ago
  
  All ladies should keep #4 in mind. We've been practicing it since we were boys, you simply aren't going to be able to do it better than we can.
Elspeth Flashman 13 years ago

A drinking game you can win and lose at!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012.....king-game/
1. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
  
  Taht sprtye gode i tihdnk i enwd ot layae dewnw.
  1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
    
    LOL! When I fist saw that, I thought it was Polish!
    
    (And Polished to a high sheen, I might add!)
    1. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
      
      You give me more credit than I deserve doc.
Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago

"For many Swedes, gender equality is not enough. Many are pushing for the Nordic nation to be not simply gender-equal but gender-neutral. The idea is that the government and society should tolerate no distinctions at all between the sexes. This means on the narrow level that society should show sensitivity to people who don't identify themselves as either male or female, including allowing any type of couple to marry. But that's the least radical part of the project. What many gender-neutral activists are after is a society that entirely erases traditional gender roles and stereotypes at even the most mundane levels....
1. Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
  
  "The Swedish Bowling Association has announced plans to merge male and female bowling tournaments in order to make the sport gender-neutral. Social Democrat politicians have proposed installing gender-neutral restrooms so that members of the public will not be compelled to categorize themselves as either ladies or gents. Several preschools have banished references to pupils' genders, instead referring to children by their first names or as 'buddies.' So, a teacher would say 'good morning, buddies' or 'good morning, Lisa, Tom, and Jack' rather than, 'good morning, boys and girls.' They believe this fulfills the national curriculum's guideline that preschools should 'counteract traditional gender patterns and gender roles' and give girls and boys 'the same opportunities to test and develop abilities and interests without being limited by stereotypical gender roles.'"
  
  http://www.slate.com/articles/.....ersy_.html
  1. fried wylie 13 years ago
    
    So, a teacher would say 'good morning, buddies'
    
    "You're not my buddy, Guy."
    1. Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
      
      "I'm not your your guy, Pal!"
      1. fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        except "Pal" is gender-neutral, isn't it? Nice try, buddy.
        
        Groovus Maximus 13 years ago
        
        Whatthefuckever! Friend. Don't you owe me a bill? I need every ducat I can scrounge!
        
        fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        I'm out of ninja-smoke-bombs at the moment....OMG WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU!?!
        
        *vanishes*
  2. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
    
    All of the those pictures I see on thelocal.se say to me that societal norms aren't changing all that much. If anything, they will probably inspire a backlash in about ten to twenty years.
    1. fried wylie 13 years ago
      
      If anything, they will probably inspire a backlash in about ten to twenty years.
      
      Isn't that the inevitable result of all social engineering?
      1. fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        Humankind is a river, defining its course by the exertion of its flow. Dam that flow and the dam will inevitably be overrun or undercut. Minor diversions of the flow are the best that can be achieved.
    2. Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
      
      I checked thelocal.se and the first news report which showed up was this:
      
      "Irate neighbours upset by the high-volume moans of a noisy masturbator in southern Sweden won't get any help from local public authorities to help rub out the problem."
      1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
        
        According to Str?mb?ck, mere verbal accounts of the noisy neighbour's self-pleasuring aren't sufficient to arouse the agency into action.
        
        "We need evidence," he said.
        
        No-one has recorded him? And then uploaded it to youporn.com?
        
        fried wylie 13 years ago
        
        tangent: why aren't cops equipped with sound-level meters when they respond to noise complaints?
        
        Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
        
        Just claim that the neighbor said, "Don't' be impatient, O prophet Mohammed, I will lend you the sheep as soon as I've finished with it."
  3. John 13 years ago
    
    Single sex showers. Yeah baby.
Alack 13 years ago

An interview about Hans Hermann Hoppe's new book. Spoiler alert: He blames democracy ("an especially insidious form of communism") for bad things.
1. Emmerson Biggins 13 years ago
  
  I actually thought Democracy: The God That Failed was a pretty good book. Thought provoking at the least. But this just sounds like a rehash, and the first one was plenty long.
2. ant1sthenes 13 years ago
  
  So did Aristotle; he's in good company.
John 13 years ago

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/ho.....Korea.html

Talk about balls of steel. These guys sneaked into North Korea under false pretenses.
1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
  
  did they get the free healthcare?
  1. John 13 years ago
    
    That really is one of the quotes of the century.
    
    "Wherever in the world there is a boot on a face there is a Western Liberal there to explain how the face has free health care and education."
    
    I love John Derbyshire.
buntpunt 13 years ago

These guys are not making a whole lot of sense dude. WOw.

http://www.Privacy-Apps.tk
Stormy Dragon 13 years ago

While it was certainly a diplomatic blunder, it was a diplomatic blunder in the same sense that mentioning the Armenian genocide is a diplomatic blunder: not because what was said is untrue, but because the audience demands everyone lie.

In this case they want to whitewash history by pretending they had no part in the operation of the death camps.
1. Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
  
  The Poles provided fuel for the furnaces, yes, so in that sense the had a part in the operation.
  1. Stormy Dragon 13 years ago
    
    Yes, yes, the Poles didn't even know there was a war on. They lived in the back, right across from Switzerland. All they heard was yodelling? yoodle le he hoo
Dating 12 years ago

What is happening is that he is dying. No way should an incumbent President be below 50% at this stage. Even the most pro Obama polls have him at best 47%. You can't win an election like that. Absent a Romney being found molesting boys, what is going to happen this summer that will put him over 50%?
//Mette Hansen
http://www.i-dating.dk

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