Friday Funnies

Obama Pilgrims' Mandate

Henry Payne | 5.25.2012 7:00 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

Our first Native American president?
1. Wilt Chamberlain 13 years ago
  
  Mulatto Indian?
2. Xerxes 13 years ago
  
  Show the certificate
  1. Almanian's Evil Twin 13 years ago
    
    Show me the Carfax
    1. heller 13 years ago
      
      Show me the money
      1. sloopyinca 13 years ago
        
        Show me the way
heller 13 years ago

Um... What?
1. Almanian's Evil Twin 13 years ago
  
  "piffle" - like the Bamster always says
Bee Tagger 13 years ago

Barack and Craig Stadler look like they would make perfect spooning companions.
1. some guy 13 years ago
  
  They fit together like Mario and the Princess.
heller 13 years ago

You know what would make this perfect?

The Statue of Liberty standing in the background shedding a solitary tear.
1. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
  
  Nice
  1. heller 13 years ago
    
    I know right?
    
    http://www.theonion.com/articl.....rts,28260/
2. John 13 years ago
  
  No. Elizabeth Warren in a canoe shedding a tear.
invisible furry hand 13 years ago

There's a boatload of illegal immigrants who cling to their guns and their god, and that's the best Obama can say? Or are the words being said by his homunculus?
1. Drake 13 years ago
  
  The important thing is that they didn't have to pay for any healthcare.
2. AlmightyJB 13 years ago
  
  His teleprompter is up in the tree.
heller 13 years ago

It's ironic because the Puritans had many restrictions on religious freedom in the cities they founded. Celebrating Christmas was against the law in Boston from 1659 to 1681.
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  they hanged Quakers too, bless 'em
  1. General Butt Naked 13 years ago
    
    ...Salem witch trials...
  2. heller 13 years ago
    
    Yeah but Teh War on Christmas is the ultimate religious tyranny.
    1. Isaac Bartram 13 years ago
      
      Actually, the Quakers did not observe Christmas (or any other religious holidays as they saw them as having pagan origins). They would not even use the names of the days or the months because of their pagan roots.
      
      Of course, the difference is that the Quakers never tried to impose their religious beliefs on other people by force.
  3. Bucky 13 years ago
    
    and some how the Medici Pope was the ultimate in religious freedom?
    1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
      
      no, but then again no-one here is asserting that. Not yet, anyway
      1. Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
        
        the Medici Pope was the ultimate in religious freedom
  4. JoshSN 13 years ago
    
    And shoved burning hot metal rods through the tongues of those who would dare convert away from Congregationalism.
    
    They were like the Taliban.
    
    I guess that means Reason thinks Obama is just as religiously intolerant as that, but with a snooty attitude.
    
    I don't see how this is "ironic" though, so much as retarded.
2. CockGobbla 13 years ago
  
  The Mayflower pilgrims were puritanical assholes.
  
  It's only in the Disney-fied romanticization form that they became known as a symbol of religious freedom...
  
  Granted, in the 21st century, the right to be a puritanical asshole is under attack, so maybe the symbolism has become appropriate.
  1. Tim 13 years ago
    
    "puritanical massholes" FIFY
  2. John 13 years ago
    
    It was the 17th Century. The entire world was full of puritanical assholes by our standards.
    1. CockGobbla 13 years ago
      
      True.
      
      But in the fuzzy-wuzzy mythology kids are taught since kindergarten, the Pilgrims and the Plymouth/Massachusetts Bay Colony exemplified America the genesis of American religious tolerance.
      
      I prefer to teach about the religious tolerance in the corporate colonies in the South. Virginia was downright atheistic in 18th century terms.
      1. Tim 13 years ago
        
        Yes, but could they paint with all the colors of the wind?
      2. CockGobbla 13 years ago
        
        My bad, I think I meant "Charter Colony" when referring to Virginia.
        
        Sorry, I was a premed in college, so I wasn't really concerned with my American Civ course.
      3. Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago
        
        The South?!?!? More tolerant?!?!?!
        
        OMG, I cannot compute, I must shut down...
    2. JoshSN 13 years ago
      
      Actually, Poland was multi-confessional.
      
      Transylvania (rump, non-Ottoman, non-Hapsburg) Hungary even tolerated Unitarians (anti-Trinitarians, who denied the divinity of Jesus).
      
      Transylvania was the most tolerant spot on the continent until the French Revolution.
      1. LemonMender 13 years ago
        
        Yes, it was the first state in the world with a legal guarantee of freedom of religion.
      2. CE 13 years ago
        
        Transylvania? Those blood-suckers were tolerant?
        
        JoshSN 13 years ago
        
        History has taught us that we all bleed, regardless of creed or color.
3. Isaac Bartram 13 years ago
  
  Actually the Bay Colonists (Puritans is a bit of a misnomer as their were other nonconformists who were also considered Puritans) didn't want religious freedom at all. They wanted to be the official church and have exclusive control over all things both secular and religious.
  
  To them the established Church of England was a Papist heresy.
4. D M Ryan 13 years ago
  
  Yes, it is ironic...and it serves as a cautionary tale for people looking at secession. The Puritans were in no way unique with the old switch: once liberated from from oppression, seizing the chance to become the oppressors.
  
  Paul Johnson, in Modern Times, shows that this was typical in the interwar period for nations that were liberated through irredentism. Religiosity, or secularism, was secondary.
db 13 years ago

The stark black and white of Puritanism, so judgmental and austere, is juxtaposed against the warm and lifegiving color of the enlightened Progressive. Skeletal lines form the ship of fools, sailing so close to dangerous rocks, while solid and strong trunks base Obama, his trusted advisors, and the tree firmly in the ground of reality.
1. Barfman 13 years ago
  
  *barf*
  1. db 13 years ago
    
    Sweet! My first Barfman reaction!
2. Almanian's Evil Twin 13 years ago
  
  *slwo, rhythmic clapping*
  1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
    
    The Slwo trube were know for their rhythmic clapping. And the Clap.
    1. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
      
      Trube?
    2. Mo' $parky 13 years ago
      
      Is this the trube you're looking for?
      1. AlmightyJB 13 years ago
        
        Google translated the first comment as "5 people have not rejoiced with the people breathed felt chest veins in rock music". As anon bot would say, makes perfect sense dude.
Restoras 13 years ago

This has to be among the weakest all recent efforts.

Reason should do what Google does take submissions for a cartoon from the commentariat. Winner gets...
1. heller 13 years ago
  
  But the Urkobold would win everytime...
2. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
  
  a pony?
3. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  Restoration of anonymous posting rights
4. PS 13 years ago
  
  A years supply of car wax.
  1. db 13 years ago
    
    A baby's arm holding an apple!
    1. Jesus H. Christ 13 years ago
      
      Aki no Tetoron wa Teijin desu
    2. Bucky 13 years ago
      
      A 'Tubes' reference, holy shit!
Bucky 13 years ago

wait just a minute...
shouldn't that be a viking ship?
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

1.35/10 - did not laugh.
1. Scruffy Nerfherder 13 years ago
  
  I disagree - 1.25 max
Almanian's Evil Twin 13 years ago

If I were sage I would say
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mo' $parky 13 years ago

This... thing... leaves me with such a sense of apathy that I can't even summon up a slightly humorous comment.

Choose Henry Payne when Chip Bok isn't quite enough to crush the spirit.
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  Dunno why they don't hire him to write here instead - check his blog http://henrypayne.com/
  
  It can't be worse than some of the other things Reason prints.
  
  Also, I like his hope/hype joke.
  1. PS 13 years ago
    
    "It can't be worse than some of the other things Reason prints."
    
    Leave Steve Chapman alone!
SugarFree 13 years ago

STEVE SMITH NO LIKE PAPAZZIA... PAPPOAZIS... PAPPARDELLE... GRR! STEVE SMITH NO LIKE PHOTOGRAPHERS OR AUTOCORRECT!
1. invisible furry hand 13 years ago
  
  wow, another cartoonist for STEVE SMITH to revenge-rape
2. Butts Wagner 13 years ago
  
  popozao are the worst
db 13 years ago

So the Mayflower was Jabba's sail barge's sister ship? That thing could hover.
Rich 13 years ago

How about an alternative caption contest?

"'Mayflower', indeed! It should be 'Cowpie of Distortion'."
Tim 13 years ago

Is the Mayflower Madam in this?
Zombie Jimbo 13 years ago

Sibelius doesn't have a mustache.
Auric Demonocles 13 years ago

I don't get it. Who are the two guys? And what's the paper the white guy is holding? I need more labels.
KPres 13 years ago

OT: Freakonomics reads the Reason commentariat.
buntpunt 13 years ago

No way dud e thats jsut way too funny.

http://www.Privacy-Nerds.tk
CE 13 years ago

In the 17th century, the Pilgrims risked their lives and their fortunes to cross the Atlantic to escape religious oppression at home.

Today, President Obama risks your children's lives and squanders your fortunes across all the oceans in an effort to boost his chances for reelection and to reward his corporate backers.
CE 13 years ago

Don't you need a monocle to say words like "piffle"?
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