A.M. Links: No More Taxi Stop & Frisks, Texas Execution Stayed, Democrats' North Carolina Problem

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  • did not get 40% against Obama last night

    As part of a lawsuit settlement, the NYPD will no longer be randomly stopping taxis to search passengers for weapons.

  • The execution of Steven Saley, the former day laborer Texas has been forcibly medicating in order to induce competency, has been stayed.
  • The Former Bosnian Serb Army Chief Ratko Mladic's trial on 11 charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity begins today in the International Criminal Court at The Hague.
  • Francois Hollande assumed the French Presidency amid lightning in the sky, and almost immediately departed to Germany to meet with Angela Merkel.
  • "I'm for Mitt Romney," former President George W. Bush said as the elevator door closed, unwittingly providing a metaphor for something.
  • Could the Democrats have picked a worse place than North Carolina to hold their national convention in September? Probably, but still. (You get no points for answering "Yes, New Jersey")

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  1. Damn nature, you scary! Mean lions attack and eat hippos, intrepid photographers captures it all.

    1. i wonder what hippo tastes like

      1. i wonder what hippo tastes like

        I don’t know, but after working as hard as those lions did to bring it down, I bet it would taste pretty damned good.

      2. Probably like chicken

        1. I’m gonna go with “like walrus.”

    2. Okay, it was a young hippo. On just hearing that they attacked a hippo, I thought those were some desperate lions.

      1. If John was a lion, I bet his favorite meal would be hippo.

        1. lmao!

        2. If John was a lion, I bet his favorite meal would be hippo.

          Not hairy enough.

        3. Dude…
          /LULZ

        4. If John was a lion, I bet his favorite meal would be hippo.

          Threadwinnah, hungry hippo dinnah!

      2. Yeah. Me too. A pride of lions v. a full grown hippo is a fair fight.

        1. Yeah. Me too. A pride of lions v. a full grown hippo is a fair fight.

          That would be ugly, and though enough lions would be able to bring down even a large bull hippo, I bet they’d take some casualties.

          I hope that battle gets caught on camera someday.

  2. Not first!

  3. nice takedown of sanctimonious twat

    The problem with God is He thinks he’s Bob Geldof

    1. Trade, good. Free markets, good.

      Aid, bad. Tax, bad.

      Economics 101 over. Now shut up and leave us alone.

      So much for this guy ever getting elected, then.

    2. I never liked The Boomtown Rats.

      1. Some surprisingly good comments at that link. I am surprise.

      2. I never liked Mondays.

        1. You shouldn’t stay up all night on Sunday.

      3. I’m really surprised he could be that wealthy considering the Boomtown Rats are mostly crap from what I’ve heard – even in the context of that era. I guess organizing events for starving kids is lucrative, though.

        1. They were huge in UK / Ireland during the late 70’s, early 80’s.

          1. I know – I just never understood why they are so famous in the UK. “I Don’t Like Mondays” is the only song here anyone knows, and it sounds at best like a mediocre Queen outtake that turns the true story of a brutal murder into a kitschy pop ballad. In concept I’d be ok with that if it weren’t mediocre.

        2. They did have two great albums, “Tonic for the Troops” and “The Fine Art of Surfacing,” that I still listen to sometimes. Remember, Geldof was also the star of the movie version of “The Wall”, he probably made some money off of that.

  4. Francois Hollande assumed the French Presidency amid lightning in the sky, and almost immediately departed to Germany to meet with Angela Merkel.

    More ominous still was Hollande’s statement that “all will tremble at the might of The Old Ones”, which was followed by maniacal cackling.

    1. Cthulhu lives

    2. The Yeti looms large

    3. And I’m supposed to think it’s just some coincidence that Merkel has a hollowed-out volcano lair?

      1. Merkel has a hollowed-out volcano lair

        is that a euphemism?

        1. Do you want it to be an euphemism?

          1. i rather think i do, actually.

            1. Thy will be done.

        2. Fortunately for Merkel, yes. Unfortunately for Merkel, it is because nothing living has ever ventured inside her.

          1. Odd. Does it suddenly smell like snails and sauerkraut in here?

          2. I’ll bet Bill Clinton tried to tap that.

    4. That Hollande really does have something creepy about him, I honestly would not be surprised if he was secretly the chief priest of some Chthulu cult.

    5. to Germany to meet with beg to Angela Merkel

      FTFY

    6. Maybe he wants some tips on why Germany’s economy is doing better than the rest of the Eurozone.

      Of course, Germany is going to fix that whole ‘low unemployment because they have no minimum wage’ by imposing a minimum wage. (FTA) “If a nationwide minimum wage of ?8.50 ($11) were introduced in Germany, 25 percent of all female employees and 15 percent of male workers would immediately earn more money”.

      No mention of what percentage of those workers would immediately become ex-employees.

      1. Not to mention how many of the employers would become ex-employers.

      2. No mention that that $11 would buy them a lot less than it would have before minimum wage, so they’re essentially earning what they earned before minimum wage, or less.

        1. You mean that actions have consequences after the immediate time horizon? Why hasn’t anyone written about this!

  5. Kate Moss is still hot!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..aiser.html

    1. Cthulhu lives

    2. Kate Moss hasn’t been hot for a good ten years. Age and drugs have not been kind to her.

  6. Uh oh. In Mississippi if you pull over for a cop it might be an impersonator who will kill you. If you don’t pull over it might be a real cop who will kill you for not showing sufficient respect. Either way you’re fucked.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..avoid.html

    1. There’s apparently some law in Mississippi that you don’t have to pull over if you don’t think it’s a real cop. You can call 911 and/or drive straight to a police station. I think if more people do this, the po po in the state are going to be very busy.

      1. Whereupon they’ll fine you for distracted driving, since you were driving while talking on your cell phone. Nice scam.

      2. Same thing in PA. It’s OK here to dri e to a “safe area” before pulling over if you suspect you are being pullex over by an impostor. You are encouraged to put flashers on to acknowledge you intend to pull over. This might be a good idea for anyone fearing possible police brutality or otger shenanigans to make sure the encounter happens jn an area with witnesses or good video surveillance.

        1. Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won’t know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you’re pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he’s about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g’s, and fast heel-toe work.

  7. More evidence in the Zimmerman case that contradicts the narrative.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-head.html

    1. DAMN THE FACTS! WE HAVE A MEME TO NURTURE!

      ALSO – RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!

    2. More evidence in the Zimmerman case that contradicts the narrative.

      That’s OK, if this new evidence is enough to acquit him, the feds will get their pound of flesh.

      1. The cool thing about hate crimes is that the burden of proof is on the accused.

        Guilty until proven innocent.

        1. The cool thing about hate crimes is that the burden of proof is on the accused.

          If Zimmerman is acquitted of the murder charges, I don’t see how they’d be able to win a conviction anywhere else. All I know is that if I’m ever on a federal jury deciding the fate of someone who’s already been acquitted in state court of the same charges, I’m going to nullify.

        2. Guilty until proven innocent.

          Guilty until proven innocent!

          FIFY

    3. Remember, folks, if Zimmerman had been black instead of a Hispanic with a German last name, you never would have heard about this case. It’s probably one of the more egregious examples of the MSM trying its damndest to construct a narrative, in an effort to whip a segment of the population into a frenzy in an election year.

      There’s already blacks targeting whites in specific response to this event and the media coverage surrounding it–what’s going to happen if Zimmerman’s charges are dropped?

      1. A lot of stories not making the national news?

    4. And even as they are forced to report that Zimmerman’s story is holding together they persist in lies–

      “followed trayvon in his car’–“continued pursuit after being told to ‘stand down'”.

      It’s like they’re determined to get him on something–kinda like Sullum.

  8. Take that wine snobs!

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..elite.html

    1. It is not hard to fool people. And it is all taste anyway. When Trader Joe’s started selling two buck Chuck, the big wineries whined to no end because it showed how over priced their product was.

      Wine is a finicky thing. Any vineyard can produce the odd bottle or year of great wine. And of course “great” is all about your palate. If you don’t share Robert Parker’s love for big heavy reds, you probably won’t find his ratings of much use.

      1. If you don’t share Robert Parker’s love for big heavy reds, you probably won’t find his ratings of much use.

        You have a love for big and heavy, John, but it has nothing to do with wine.

          1. hey, leave Christina alone!

            Haha, “big heavy red.” Touche!

          2. Her only weakness is gravity!

          3. Spectacular!

        1. Stop that. It is bordering on implying my wife is fat. And we will have none of that.

          1. Stop that. It is bordering on implying my wife is fat. And we will have none of that.

            Oh come now. We have no idea what your wife looks like. Until now, most of us probably didn’t even realize you were married. And this still leaves the possibility that you’re married to a wee slip of a lass, but are pining for a larger, earthier woman, someone you can really get your arms around.

            1. Fair enough Karl.

  9. So, I went on my first actual date type thing ever. And I got a hug at the end of the night and a “Get in touch with me if you ever want to do this again.”

    But this why being single drives you crazy. I sent one of those end of the night “Had a great time, we should do this again” texts, but didn’t hear back. So does that mean anything? Does it not?

    This is why the most romantic moment in When Harry Met Sally was, “Promise me I will never have to be ought there again.” “You will never have to be out there again.”

    1. Oh, just for clarification’s sake- I am a straight dude.

      1. Well, there’s yer problem. Girls like that gaiz.

        I learned that on primetime TEEVEE.

        Now get out there and sing ’em some show tunes!

      2. I am a straight dude

        Dude, that was totally obvious, especially after:

        I got a hug at the end of the night

        1. Okay, now I am curious Tonio. Explain.

          1. Apparently, gay people don’t do that icky huggy kissy stuff, hold hands or hug. I guess Tonio is afraid of getting cooties or something. 🙂

          2. No, we very much do the huggy, kissy stuff. We’re not sexbots or incubi, Groovus, we actually feel love and demonstrate affection and stuff. Just like real people.

            1. I’m kidding Tonio 😛 I’m sure you snuggle up a storm with your paramour, and probably look great while you’re at it.

              And I don’t forget you are real people with the capacity for warmth and depth.

              1. warmth and depth

                Walk away, Sug. Just walk away.

                1. Walk away, Sug. Just walk away.

                  Shush, you! I was being earnest and sincere. Go fix me a turkey pot pie!

            2. I know you were kidding, Doc. It’s not HR without some othering and microagressing. [hacks the doc’s electronic stethescope to play the riff from “Cat Scratch Fever” at vol 11]

              1. some othering and microagressing

                Speaking of, what’s with Reason’s war on ampersands? And other ASCII codes?

                1. ASCII is a sin in the eyes of God, unnatural and disgusting.

              2. hacks the doc’s electronic stethescope

                I hate those. I use a Littman Cardiac II.

                1. Your constant shilling for the Littman corporation grows tiresome.

                  1. It worked on me. I just ordered 5 of them.

        2. Not every gay male is promiscuous, but that’s the exception rather than the rule. Remember that women are the sexual gatekeepers for your sort. When it’s other horny guys, who can’t get pregnant and don’t fear slut-shaming, as the gatekeepers those gates are often wide open (as it were).

          And don’t worry none about Marshall and the others questioning your orientation; they’re just ragging you.

          But if you’re starting dating at 23, the pro dom is a rather advanced challenge (unless you like that sort of thing).

          1. And don’t worry none about Marshall and the others questioning your orientation; they’re just ragging you.

            Of course I am.

    2. So, I went on my first actual date type thing ever.

      See what amazing things can happen when you leave the basement?

      /joke

      1. Science, Goldwater, how old are you? My first date thingy was when I was 13 or so and that doesn’t count all of the non-date encounters with the opposite sex before that. I often got to second base on the playground in grade school.

        Maybe you should re-think rhe whole “straight” thing.

        1. that doesn’t count all of the non-date encounters with the opposite sex before that. I often got to second base on the playground in grade school.

          Prolific little shit, weren’t you? No wonder Methany agrees with you.

          (I keed I keed)

        2. I had a girlfriend (who was more a really close friend with benefits type thing) in high school. I’m 23.

          I am just not the most natural or easy with people. It is why I tried the online dating thing.

          1. Take heart, young’un! I met my current squeeze on OK Cupid. Sooooo much better/more fun than Match.com. Stick with it!

          2. You’re doing fine. I agree with Kristen, keep on keeping on. I think OK Cupid is a good service– haven’t used it myself but have friends who have had good luck with it.

          3. Have you tried E-Harmony? The reason that I ask is because I recently read that they have a much larger percentage of women members. According to the story their long questionnaire turned men off.

            I have a good friend who had a similar situation to yours. He met a very nice woman online and they have been married for several years now.

            1. I have a crazy feeling that eHarmony would sort out any possible libertarian women. I’ve thought about using it before, because it’s marriage-/long-term-relationship-oriented, but it rejects a lot of members for vague reasons that generally relate to “not being happy and nice enough.” So I figure I would fill out that nice long questionnaire (and I do love long questionnaires) only to find out I’m not good enough for internet dating.

              1. They accepted my “application”, but I probably sugarcoated and lied a lot (it was a few years back).

                What I really don’t like about eharmony is they assign matches to you, so you can’t browse and contact someone who strikes your fancy. Even OK Cupid was always trying to match me up with skinny little artsy hipstery types, but since they let you cruise, as it were, I was able to choose for myself.

                1. Since it’s still funny, here’s one answer you should avoid with eHarmony.

                2. Interesting, Kristen, I did not realize that about the matches. For sure among my friends OK Cupid is the favorite, although some of the more “serious-minded” (read: take themselves seriously) types seem to prefer Match.

              2. I have been married for 14 years so internet dating has come about since I dated.

                I also wondered if I filled out an eHarmony questionaire if the response wouldn’t be “There are no human matches for you, asshole”

                Hmmm, I see a new opportunity on the horizon. LibertarianLove.com? Just think of the dozens of potential customers!

                1. Hey, if “farmersonly.com” has a chance…

                2. LibertarianLove.com?

                  Wait a minute. I thought that was what HR was for. At least for a couple of us.

                  1. Well, shit, that reduces our potential customer base by 10-15%?

                  2. We need to work on the questionnaire. And a way to filter out the twelve thousand profiles Mary would post so she can get one more step closer to her goal of murdering one of us so she can prance around in their skin.

                    1. Just use the Libertarian Purity Test. Anyone who score above 98% must be lying, so you can shut them out. Anyone under 85% is a slaver, and anyone in between you already know on here. Problem solved!

                    2. “one more step closer to her goal of murdering one of us so she can prance around in their skin”

                      LOL:)

                    3. And a way to filter out the twelve thousand profiles Mary would post

                      “Do you consider yourself a narcissist?”

                3. Another problem with e-harmony…

                  From my screen capture

                  “Sorry.
                  Your application to join our match-making service has been rejected.

                  You failed question #14: ‘What do you like most in a woman?’

                  ‘My Dick’ was not an acceptable answer.”

                  1. OK Cupid has and endless series of user-created questions. As you can imagine, some of them are hilariously specific and kinky (“How would you feel if your date wanted you to hold his ear discs like handles while he rubbed chunky peanut butter all over your breasts?”). I could spend hours answering those questions, just because they were so weird and entertaining. There are also quite a few libertarians up in there.

            2. I spent something like 90 minutes filling out eHarmony’s questionnaire a few years ago, only to have them tell me I’m basically undateable. Well, duh: that’s why I went to your service! Dumbasses. 🙂

          4. I think that if I ever ended up back on the market this wohld be my approach. I have a hard time meeting new people casually (usually just meet people through friends or by being shoved jnto a situation like a new job). Hopefully that never happens.

    3. Yeah, she’s just not that into you. Sorry. Keep trying, though!

      And if you think things went really well at the end of the date and you’re attracted to her, nothing wrong with going in for the kiss, even if just a light peck. Chicks dig mild aggression. But it does require you to kind of have some knowledge of signals and body language. That comes with getting your ass out there and dating a lot of chicks.

      1. Or stalking lots of chicks and watching what they do when they interact with others. You can learn a lot that way, I hear.

        1. You guys and your hazing! SHEESH!

      2. Yes, think baleen whale instead of shark.

      3. Meh. I’d say it’s 50/50 since she said to get in touch with her. I’d send an email (NOT A TEXT, you kids and your newfangled gadgets) saying you enjoyed the date and that you’d like to see her again. AFTER THAT, if she doesn’t call, text, email or respond, move on.

        1. Damnit! Already sent a text.

      4. See, I would have with another woman, but this one was definitely on the more dominant side. As in apparently used to do it professionally, so that throws the whole damn thing out of whack.

        1. Goodness, you’re starting out in the fast lane!

        2. She used to date people professionally? As in, she’s a hooker?

          You definitely didn’t get your money’s worth, then.

          1. Dominatrixes are not hookers.

            1. What KK said.

          2. No, professional Domme. Which… don’t quite know how to feel about that, and is definitely one of those, “I’d kiss her, but she is probably used to doing the kissing, oh god what do I do?”

            1. Ha! Awesome.

              And most doms (professional, anyway) avoid kissing because it might be construed as “sexual contact” which might be enough to be brought in for prostitution. Voluntary whippings and humiliation are okay, but no physical contact allowed.

              So I hear.

            2. Yeah, I’m with K. You might need to work your way up to level 15 or so to handle that situation.

              1. You might need to work your way up to level 15 or so to handle that situation.

                No less than level 20 and lots of saving throws. Guild membership might be desirable.

            3. I knew one of those for a while when I was single. She was actually quite nice. I think she only hung out with me because I was the one guy she knew who had absolutely no interest in her domming me. “Sorry honey but I am not getting on my knees and kissing your feet. And if I did I would burst out laughing anyway”.

            4. The question, Goldie, is what she’s actually looking for. Determining whether the Dom thing was just for the money, or whether it’s her modus operandi will help with this.

              Good luck. And do post vids of you as her sissy maid.

              1. Here is the thing though Tonio. Male submissives are a dime a dozen. If she did the domme thing as anything but a professional activity, she would have as many subs as she wanted and a waiting list for more. The only reason she would bother going out with a vanilla guy is because that is what she wants at least in her personal life.

                1. I got the impression that it was professional, but that she got into at first in part due to some personal preferences. So no frickin’ idea.

                2. Awww…John is trying to teach me about human sexuality. That’s so cute.

                  1. I am not teaching you anything Tonio. I am just telling you reality. Women who are into that kind of thing don’t have to look very hard for partners.

                    1. Women who are into that kind of thing don’t have to look very hard for partners.

                      . . . and they can make a ton of money, if they’re so inclined.

                      My ex-girlfriend had a boyfriend (before me, mond you) who liked to have her fuck him in the ass with a strap-on. That’s another thing that a larger-than-you’d-expect number of men are willing to pay big bucks for.

                    2. Karl Hungus: “No, no, not me. I’m asking for a friend.”

                    3. Karl Hungus: “No, no, not me. I’m asking for a friend.”

                      That’s right, Mr. Smarty Pants, it was someone else.

                      Say, on a completely unrelated note, can anyone recommend a good proctologist in the Atlanta area?

                    4. Unless you are into pain Karl, next time get a less dominant women to help your “friend”.

                    5. Unless you are into pain Karl, next time get a less dominant women to help your “friend”.

                      I don’t like pain, John. Even a little can be enough to throw off the pleasure. I have bite marks on my shoulders from this past weekend, and while I now look at the fading marks with a smile, it really threw me off when she did it.

                    6. Don’t ever change, John.

                3. Not too sure about that, John–lotta pay-subs, but at any gathering I’ve been to most of the male subs are gay–and with someone.

      5. Good call on the kiss. My experience when I was single was that any first date that didn’t end in at least a kiss was a dead end. So you really have nothing to lose. If she goes for it, great. If she doesn’t, she wasn’t going to give you a second date anyway.

    4. And I got a hug at the end of the night and a “Get in touch with me if you ever want to do this again.”

      This is code for “thanks for the food, but we’re not getting it on in any foreseeable future”. Maybe you should reconsider the “straight dude” thing.

    5. Obviously there was not enough alcohol involved.

    6. I sent one of those end of the night “Had a great time, we should do this again” texts, but didn’t hear back. So does that mean anything? Does it not?

      Sending a text like this at the end of the night seems like you’re a little too eager and is perceived by women as a demonstration of lower value. Let it chill for a while and wait for her to respond; don’t do any followup texts.

      1. I love it when a guy gets in touch right away, if I really like him.

        But I agree that he should let the one text lie and wait for her response.

      2. The way I figure it, if she doesn’t appreciate a brief, sincere statement that her date enjoyed the evening, even if it’s just a couple hours later, then she wasn’t really interested to begin with.

    7. Great. I’ll go tell my grandkids.

    8. Maybe you did something wrong. Let me guess – at some point she asked “So what do you like to do?” and you replied, “Well, there’s this thing called Hit Run…”

      1. The first rule of Hit Run…

        1. Is don’t mention the “And?”

    9. The Second Law of Sexual Dynamics states that if a guy thinks a girl is into him, she’s not.

    10. You need to be more of a dick.

    11. We need more info, Goldwater. How did the date go? What did you guys do? Did she find you amusing? Did you find her amusing? How was the conversation? What are her politics? Did you discuss yours with her?

      How the hell are we supposed to tell you what to do with your life with so little information?

      Based on what you told us, however, I’d probably either call or text her every hour today to let her know how much fun you had. Women always love that kind of attention and recognition.

      1. Well, after messaging on Ok Cupid Monday and then facebook (for about 6 hours), she asked me to pizza and beer on Tuesday (very unexpectedly, like middle of the day).

        So, we met up, and while our interests in movies only align a little, we did share some common interests there, and have a lot in nerdy sci fi type stuff. Then, we hung out by her car while she smoked and talked about her life back in LA. I tried to let her do most of the talking based on advice from my sister. This is probably where I should have made a move, but I am really new to this and have reasons covered upthread.

        Then I got a, Give me a hug, “I hate to do this, I need to get home, you work a lot, your probably exhausted, hit me up again if you want to do this again” thing.

        And I am now realizing I must have really gone insane, because I am turning to Hit and Run for love life advice.

        1. And I am now realizing I must have really gone insane, because I am turning to Hit and Run for love life advice.

          BWahahahahaa! I’ve found it entertaining to ask these putzes about dating every once in a while. Some shit just really pushes their buttons.

          1. Well, my completely unscientific survey indicates most of us are either terminally single or long-term married. So either way, your odds of getting good dating advice are slim.

            Plus, the natural tendency of a group of sarcastic assholes to fuck with you for amusement can never be discounted.

            1. the natural tendency of a group of sarcastic assholes to fuck with you for amusement

              Hey! I resemble that remark!

        2. Its like asking marriage advice from your thrice divorced uncle. Whatever he says, don’t do.

          1. LOL. Or do the opposite.

        3. Actually, Hit and Run is a great place to ask for advice, along the same lines as the idea that if you really want to know about dieting (what works what doesn’t), ask a fat person since they’ve already been through it all and failed.

          You’re cool for now, but I’m with the others who advised that you wait for her to respond to you.

        4. And I am now realizing I must have really gone insane, because I am turning to Hit and Run for love life advice.

          My only advice is to just keep plugging away at it. Don’t halt your efforts after each new girl you meet while waiting to see if things pan out. The odds of any one woman being “right” for you are somewhat slim. Kind of like buying lottery tickets. You’ll meet some that you like but that aren’t interested in you. Conversely, you’ll meet some that you’re not into at all, but who’ll stalk you relentlessly. Along the way, just RELAX, have fun, get laid, and do not obsess over finding “the one.” Try to project an air of mild indifference, letting each one know that if she doens’t want to see you again, you have many options. Women hate clingy men.

          I’ve been doing the online thing for a few years now, and it’s been absolutely great. My Facebook is full of women I’ve emet that way. Some became friends, some became something more, and most of them have been a great addition to my life in one way or another.

        5. And I am now realizing I must have really gone insane, because I am turning to Hit and Run for love life advice.

          One of us. One of us. One of us.

          1. One of us. One of us. One of us.

            It’s just like the end of Return To The Planet Of The Apes, where they take off the masks and reveal themselves as hideous mutants.

            1. Awesome.

              Fun Fact: Charlton Heston did not want to do a sequel, and only relented because they paid him mucho bucks and he would only do limited screen time. All it would have taken for me is to be in the same room with Linda Harrison, who has actually aged very well, IMO.

            2. That’s you, second from the right, isn’t it?

              1. I’m the fat one on the end. But my mutant power is being big-boned or something.

            3. Hey! Spoiler alert!!

        6. I’ve lurked and occasionally commented on HR for years and this is the best thread evah.

          And, from my perspective, the best strategy for geek/libertarian men is stalking. Keeps you busy, shows interest, that sort of thing.

    12. I find that staring at her across the room has a really low chance of success.

    13. Eh, there a chance you hear back but probably not.

      Don’t overread the weak end-of-night stuff like hugs or the specific parting words, like 90% of them are just some sort of buffer against awkwardness. Going for a kiss would at least get you some sort of definitive answer.

      Your text was probably a little too eager being right after – but as a singular act, it really will just confirm what she thought of you anyways. I don’t think it would change all but the most borderline call.

      1. Good to know other people here like NWA.

        1. If I have sons I’m making them listen to that along with the birds and the bees talk.

          1. Feynman also has a good bit, very similar bit in one of his books about dating/relationships and confidence.

    14. So, I went on my first actual date type thing ever.

      As in, you’ve never been on a date, married, had a girlfriend, etc? I don’t ask this mockingly.

    15. I’m never going to be able to give good advice about women, because my wife pretty much hunted me down.

      And I was a big-time virgin before that.

      1. I’m pretty much in the same boat as you Spoonman.

    16. Can we bring back the “Dear Lucy” letters?

    17. If you want to hang out with her again, contact her and propose another date–time, place, etc. If she was sincere about what she said, she’ll be glad to meet up with you again. And be somewhat creative with the date. A trip to the zoo or a museum can potentially give you a whole day to spend time together.

      One of the cardinal rules of courtship is that if a person really wants to spend time with you, they’ll find time to do so. If she’s blowing you off–“My friend is having guy problems and I need to comfort her,” for example–without proposing an alternative date and time, then she’s not interested and you should move on.

    18. Now book a bunch of sessions with her, and then spend those sessions asking her for another date while she beats you and fucks you with a strapon or whatever. It’ll totally win her heart, dude.

      1. Yeah, and even if she says “no” you get beaten and butt-fucked! Total win-win.

    19. But this why being single drives you crazy. I sent one of those end of the night “Had a great time, we should do this again” texts, but didn’t hear back. So does that mean anything? Does it not?

      She probably doesn’t think she’s allowed to respond to you that fast. It doesn’t mean shit.

      This is why the most romantic moment in When Harry Met Sally was, “Promise me I will never have to be ought there again.” “You will never have to be out there again.”

      Yes, yes it is.

  10. the NYPD will no longer be randomly stopping taxis to search passengers in weapons.

    So are the taxis the weapons? or are the passengers traveling by catapult in taxis? What? I’m so confused. I need context.

    1. I was briefly hoping that NY had legalized mobile artillery.

      1. Not sure about artillery, but they’re cool with Armor. Only for themselves, of course.

        1. Actually, AFAIK, most jurisdictions don’t have laws against armor if the vehicle is otherwise street legal.

          Most places have an issue with full-track vehicles just because they have a tendency to tear up the streets and curbs.

    1. That is the worst Golem I have ever seen. There’s no place to put the Tetragrammaton as explained here.

  11. Could the Democrats have picked a worse place than North Carolina to hold their national convention in September?

    Ima say “Athens, Greece”.

  12. Avengers Assemble… for the ladies!

    http://static.igossip.com/phot…..merica.jpg

    http://blogs.coventrytelegraph…..iles/Chris Hemsworth shirtless in Thor.jpg

    1. A) Yuck. Dude needs to stop the waxing immediately and look like a man with some hair on his chest.
      B) I would say you SF’ed the link, but that’s not really an SF. Maybe a “Goldwater”?

        1. That’s a bit better, but he’s still no Thor. 🙂

        2. MMm. Yes, that is very nice indeed.

        3. too much towel

    2. (but thanks, sincerely, for tryin’)

      1. +1 on this and the hairy chest comment, KK

      2. Seconded

    3. SF’d Thor there:

      http://media.photobucket.com/i…..-Thor1.jpg

      And now the Hulk:

      http://lazycircles.blogspot.co…..ffalo.html

      1. Now that’s what I’m talkin about!

      2. thanks very much, nice distraction!

    4. Robert Downy Jr.:

      http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Wrjk…../RDJ06.jpg

      And Hawkeye:

      http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.ne…..usuals.jpg

      1. What is it with these waxed chests. YUCK. Robert Downey Jr looks like he needs a cheeseburger, even though no waxed chest.

        1. Be glad I didn’t post the pic from Sherlock Holmes. The dude looks super emaciated here.

          Also, given the hatred of waxed chests- this is the gays in Hollywood’s doing, right? Not the women?

          1. I dunno where it came from. I imagine there are a few chicks that like a smooth chest. It goes hand-in-hand with hair gel and Axe Body Spray, though.

        2. I’m with you. Waxing is for chicks, swimmers, and dudes who like dudes.

          1. I’m OK with dudes who wax their backs and their upper arms, but yeah, leave the rest alone.

          2. dudes who like dudes

            Not all of us, Liz. Google up “gay bear” sometime. LOL.

    5. Shirtless Loki:

      http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr…..r03dg6.gif

      And to prove I’m straight:

      http://filmoria.filmoria.netdn…..-Widow.jpg

      Scarlett Johansen.

      1. She is still kind of a butter face. But from the neck down, she probably has the best body in Hollywood.

        1. Butterface?? Really dude?

          1. I don’t think she is that pretty. She is not ugly, but she is really not that pretty. I will give you her body is spectacular. But she is not a classic beauty in the way someone like Natalie Portman is.

            1. Natalie Portman needs to eat a fucking cheeseburger.

              1. Yes she does. She is the opposite of Johansson. Great face, no body. And for the record, face or not, i would take Johasson over Portman any day.

            2. She is still kind of a butter face.

              You’re insane.

          2. I’m with John on this one. As with most Hollwood actresses, her face is cute/attractive, but not mindblowingly gorgeous — and largely the product of great makeup artists.

        2. It’s a good thing, too, because she can’t act worth shit. She wasn’t that bad in Iron Man 2 because her character barely spoke.

          Producers have figured out that her value in a film is limited to her jiggling her tits. Julia Roberts still has drawing power thanks her following among Gen-X women. When ScarJo passes 35, though, it’s going to be tough for her to find anymore of these big-name projects because her appeal, like Natalie Portman’s, is limited to the sensibilities of nerds with emotionally stunted outlooks on women.

          1. She can’t act to save her life. She basically played herself in Lost in Translation. And that is the only movie she has ever done any good work in. When she hits 30, there will be another younger hotter women to take her place.

            1. What about Ghost World? I thought she did fairly well in that, although Thora Birch was much better.

              I think Thora Birch may be the bridge between John and sarcasmic. Gentlemen?

              1. I approve, except that there’s a whole lot of zipper that she is under-utilizing.

                1. IMO she’s overutilizing the zipper.

        3. By Cthulhu’s tentacled scrotum, you just called Scarlett Johansen a butterface. A butterface.

          Clearly you do not know what this term means. Or, perhaps, cavernous voids have been erupting throughout your brain?

          And compared unfavorably to Natalie Portman? Ye, gods, man, are you trying to curry favor with sarcasmic?

      2. Haha. I was going to say I prefer Loki, so thanks for that! Chris is sessy as Thor, but he doesn’t do much for me out of costume. But I do like his Viking warrior charms.

  13. almost immediately departed to Germany to meet with surrender to Angela Merkel.

    Amirite or amirite?

    1. urite

  14. So, Carroll Shelby and Hank the Deuce (AKA Henry Ford II) are dead.

    Who’s the third auto guy to go and complete the series?

    Bob Lutz? Bob Bondurant? Stirling Moss?

    1. Jack Roush?

      1. Please let it be Kurt or Kyle Busch. Please, please, please.

        1. Sadly, those two are not quite big enough deals to be in a group of three with Shelby and Ford Jr.

        2. That would be schadenfreudalicious. Kurt seems to be particularly evil lately, running over people and all that.

      2. I don’t think the world would miss Lee Iacoca that much.

        1. We can go piss on his grave for setting the standard that it’s okay for the .gov to bail out incompetent businessmen.

      1. Damnit SIV, no! Then we would just have to deal with Zombie Nader!

        1. His flesh would be as Green as his politics!

  15. Francois Hollande assumed the French Presidency amid lightning in the sky…

    Does this mean Thor is a socialist or not?

    1. Well, he is Scandanavian.

  16. CAPTION: “I want my Malto Meal!”

  17. In a furious tirade Mr Rogers screamed at him: ‘You’re a dirty rotten m*****f*****. What kind of s*** are you trying to pull? F*** you, you big-eared m*****f*****.’

    How do you pronounce the asterisks?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..z1v2W9lHcj

    1. It will be very interesting to hear what comes out after he loses to election and it is safe for the media to talk about his past.

    2. According to Buffy’s Swearing Keyboard, they’re unpronounceable.

    3. New book claims Michelle Obama prepared divorce papers to separate from Barack – leaving him so depressed friends feared he’d kill himself

      I’m calling bullshit on that part.

      1. No fucking way she was gonna give up her political wife title and status. No. Fucking. Way.

        Unless she had another prospect on the hook who she thought would be a better bet, but I doubt that.

        1. It was after he lost his election bid in 2000. She might have thought his career was toast and was looking to move up.

          1. Are you seriously suggesting the emancipated womyn in this day and age marry up? Pa-shaw. I think that’s as likely as the existence of gremlins and spectres.

            1. Shocking isn’t it. Next I am going to tell you Hillary Clinton got ahead because of her husband and Michelle might not have gotten that 300K a year do nothing job at that hospital had she not been married to the Big BO. But I am just a racist like that.

              1. Skeptically coloured, I remain, John. At least STEVE SMITH proves the existence of Yetis.

    4. You dirty m*****f****r! You promised you’d f**k**g speak at our event if we helped your lazy, robe-wearing a** win an election in the Land of Make-believe! You complete sh**b**d. I’m sending Mr.McFeeley over with a g*d***n special delivery of pain, m******u***r!

      1. Your regal a** can’t even win a s**t**t*ng election in the Land of f*****g Make-believe! You’re the f***k**g Make-believe! What kind of s**t-a** “King” has to be elected anyway? You know what, f**k McFeeley, I’m coming over myself to lay such a beating on your shiny a**.

  18. I’ll just leave this here.

    Riiiiiiiight here.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..bella.html

    1. FAKE.

    2. Greek-Irish, eh? Gods below, I’d require a separate bedroom with a lock on it. No way would I fall asleep next to her. Too dangerous.

      1. Worried about your life, or her spending all your money and then demanding a bailout?

        1. Imagine what would happen when she got her Irish up with a Greek sense of self-discipline. It would be kind of like the scene in The Godfather where Talia Shire starts breaking dishes only they’d cutlery and aimed at my head.

    3. Just big tits on a monkey.

      1. I’ve never wanted to come on a monkey’s chest so bad before.

    4. Sorry dude, the Derp is strong with that one

  19. http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/…..2051527146

    Greeks apologize to Europe with a huge horse.

    1. Leave it parked outside the Eurozone, boys.

  20. Perhaps more importantly, the New York Police Department says it will re-train officers on how its Taxi and Livery Inspection Program (TRIP) is supposed to work.

    Officers are allowed to stop cabs that carry TRIP decals, to make sure the drivers are OK. But if no has been crime committed, passengers should not be searched.

    The corrective training will take the form of showing officers how to better make up probable cause. Until the next lawsuit.

    1. And they say that without irony. Our officers just didn’t know they couldn’t search anyone and everyone they see. Just what is the training budget for the NYPD? And how was this subject missed?

      1. Hey, John, not everyone can be a fancy pants lawyer like yourself, with your knowing the Constitution and shit!

      2. Ignorance of the law is only an excuse if your job is professionally enforcing it.

  21. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..cover.html

    Gisele looking quite good for the over 30 mom class.

    Warning, actual female form, not for sarcasmic.

    1. The see-through lace shirt is tacky as hell, but she looks pretty good overall. She looks great in that last pic.

      1. I have always found her to be kind of tacky and a bit overrated. But wardrobe aside, she looks really good, especially for being 31 with two kids.

        1. kind of tacky

          German. Duh.

          1. She is from Brazil.

            1. My mistake. She’s from a different country known worldwide for classy wardrobe choices.

        2. This is why we fucking lose Super Bowls now.

    2. I thought this would have been more up your ally.

      http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..dress.html

      1. No, you are the one who goes for Trannies not me. You are not fooling me. That is a man.

        1. Is it just me, or does Yasmin Le Bon look a lot like Shannyn Sossaman from about 10 years ago?

          1. Not sure. But wow is Kate Moss looking old and used up in that last pic.

          2. I dunno who Sossaman is. I can, however, deduce that Yasmin Le Bon’s dress is made from old curtains. Recycling!

            1. Speaking of, Yasmin Le Bon’s hubby (who she stole from ME!), is looking mighty fine these days.

              1. Somebody really should pick all those dead caterpillars off his face.

                1. No way, Jose! Facial hair rules!

                  1. My Frank Zappa says hi.

              2. Actually, out of that whole bunch, John Taylor looked the best for years. I always found that surprising, considering how much coke he did. But his portrait must have got damaged or something, because he looks rough now.

                Nick Rhodes, on the other hand, has always been a scary little homonculus.

                1. Nick Rhodes, on the other hand, has always been a scary little homonculus.

                  As a life long Duran Duran fan, I object to such slanderous libel!

                2. When I was much younger, I loved me some Nick Rhodes, even more so than Simon Le Bon. Sadly, age has not been kind to the man.

            2. whatever work Mr Le Bon has had done is very tasteful and subtle.

  22. If you really want to understand how to attract women and maintain attraction, go hier.

    1. @ AuH2O (fucking squirrells)

    2. I lol’d upon reading the phrase “16 commandments of poon”.

  23. http://news.investors.com/arti…..aphies.htm

    Obama inserts his name into online presidential biographies.

    1. I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt on this one, but reading the excerpts really makes it seem like nothing but a bunch of “look at me!” lines awkwardly inserted into others’ lists of accomplishments.

      1. Instapundit makes a good point. It is worse than it appears. It is not like Obama did this himself. It was his staff who thought it was a good idea. That just shows the kind of zombie army he has assembled up there.

      2. They’re all written by a bunch of dumbass college interns and volunteers, so this is hardly surprising.

        What’s really pathetic about it is that it’s just Example #23,956 that Obama’s more interested in maintaining a cult of personality and going on talk shows than being President–which, sadly, makes him the perfect President for this intellectually stunted, pozzed-out nation. I half expect him, if he’s re-elected, to have a Hugo Chavez-type of TV show where he rants about his political opponents for hours.

        1. I half expect him, if he’s re-elected, to have a Hugo Chavez-type of TV show where he rants about his political opponents for hours.

          Have you gotten a phone call from NBC execs yet claiming you are stealing their idea? Go check your voicemail and call a lawyer.

    2. Check out what our Fearless Narcissist in Chief had inserted into Reagan’s Bio:

      President Reagan designated Martin Luther King Jr. Day a national holiday; today the Obama Administration honors this tradition, with the First and Second Families participating in service projects on this day.

      In a June 28, 1985 speech Reagan called for a fairer tax code, one where a multi-millionaire did not have a lower tax rate than his secretary. Today, President Obama is calling for the same with the Buffett Rule.

      1. Is Ken around? No? Good?

        Jesus, what a cunt.

      2. Why stop at presidential bios? Eg

        John Wayne Gacy, Jr. (March 17, 1942 ? May 10, 1994) was an American serial killer and rapist who sexually assaulted and murdered at least 33 teenage boys and young men between 1972 and 1978. Today, President Obama honours this tradition by killing teenage boys by CIA drones

        1. Shit, why no just edit the Bible and every time they say Jesus, just add “and Obama”

          1. They’re getting to it, just give them time…

        2. You should totally do this to the Wikipedia entry.

    3. It would be sad and pathetic if it was so damn hilarious. The Obama fits like a glove in DC culture.

    4. Narcissism update: Obama now inserts himself into online bios of past presidents

      Oh, so that’s how you’re supposed to use that word.

      1. Excellent.

    5. It reminds me of all that weird creepy Kim Jong Il stuff with that museum that claims that he holds the world record for the 200M and he fought off a bear with his bare hands and all that drek. This Obama thing is just a 3rd world dictator/cult of personality game. It’s just pathetic and embarrassing.

  24. Later, Mladic made eye contact with one of the Muslim women in the audience, running a hand across his throat, in a gesture that led Presiding judge Alphons Orie to hold a brief recess and order an end to “inappropriate interactions.”

    What is that, a 90’s action movie setup? General Mladic later escapes, assembles his henchmen and we have to send Arnold in to take him out?

    “It’s time for a little generalocide.” [Neck snap]

    1. Arnie plus a hot Muslim woman who falls for his ageing charms as they chase Mladic through the the streets of LA and into the jungles of Honduras

    2. The International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia has a website with tons of public documents and information on the Mladic trial.

      I can’t seem to find a link to the Gitmo website. Anybody got that one?

  25. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/l…..ka1dlK1RTL

    More reason why I will never take a cruise.

    hey’re lucky they didn’t get keelhauled.

    Two pals who jetted from New York to Florida for a fun-filled cruise say they, instead, spent their weeklong vacation locked in the brig after a fellow passenger falsely accused them of rape.

    Eviatar Mor ? who was celebrating his 22nd birthday ? and buddy David Amsalem, 26, sued Royal Caribbean Cruises yesterday over their grueling getaway in a “small, windowless cell” on one of the company’s luxury liners.

    1. But remember, if we were to ever charge these women with any form of crime, that would just discourage the large mass of silent victims from ever coming forward.

    2. A Royal Caribbean spokeswoman said the men had been accused of “a serious crime,” and that the company “takes all allegations of crime seriously.

      “In this instance, our security personnel onboard followed our established procedures,” spokeswoman Cynthia Martinez said.

      Why do spokesidiots always say things like that as though it’s justification? My established procedure of smacking you in the face isn’t really a defense when I smack you in the face.

      1. If anything it makes it look worse. It is a little easier to forgive Royal Caribbean for one or two out of control employees than it is for them having a company policy requiring this.

        1. I dunno. It’s not like Royal Caribbean has a lot of options. They can’t allow someone accused of rape to go walking around the ship. If the accused is actually guilty then RC is probably vulnerable to some sort of lawsuit from the victim.

          Reading the story it didn’t seem clear to me when the faux-victim recanted. If she recanted the next morning, then the cruise line should be help liable, but if she didn’t recant until the end of the cruise then how can Royal Caribbean be held responsible for their good faith effort to protect their customers?

          1. Please let me be on a jury for that.

            “So you are trying to hold Royal Caribbean liable for the actions of one of it’s passengers? Kindly fuck off.”

  26. John Woo will direct a remake of Seijun Suzuki’s 1963 Japanese new wave yakuza movie Youth of the Beast

    http://www.vulture.com/2012/05…..er_vulture

    1. bit of John Woo trivia –

      In the beginning of “The Killer”, Woo is the first hit that Jeff does.

      1. I didn’t know that! Thankyou my Lord. I shall watch it again with due care and attention

        1. Are you sure that’s perfume? Smells like eau de snarque to me. With a hint of lilac.

          1. no snark – pure lilac-scented gratitude and delight for a neat piece of trivia

            1. Your swoon factor groweth like lilac.

        2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qwskE8VFtw

          0:24 and 2:30ish

          of course I can’t find a link proving it, so I could be wrong.

      2. If only he had stayed dead

  27. http://pjmedia.com/lifestyle/2…..arassment/

    John Travolta now has three men claiming sexual harassment against him.

    1. I saw that, although at least one of them is apparently not possible (e.g. John was on the other side of the country when the molestation took place). I do think it is interesting inasmuch as there has been rumors for literally years about him (and about Tom Cruise as well).

      Speaking of Tom, here you go for many lulz: For Great Justice

      1. Could Travolta been one of the people that Corey Heim claims he was passed along to? Travolta was a pretty big deal back in the early 80s.

      2. More than rumors, there are a few pictures of him making out with guys, if you care to google around for them.

        1. Doesn’t he have several kids? Sounds like he is more Roman, as in will screw anything, than gay.

          1. Oh, I’m sure he’s not only into guys.

            Odd how the gay rumors always swirl around the Scientology guys more than any other Hollywood group.

            1. That’s cause Scientology promises, in so many words, a “gay cure” (through auditing and all that jazz), which is a plus for guys trying to be leading men in movies.

              1. I just assume everyone in Hollywood is delightfully perverted. Even a relatively vanilla one like Greg Kinnear probably has a duck taped to his asshole right this minute.

                1. I think most of the perversion in Hollywood involves teenagers. I would bet even the most upstanding ones have had their share of jail bait. No way child starlets are not passed around. There is an endless supply of beautiful young people out there. Why do “those” beautiful young people get the part and other don’t? Not hard to figure out.

          2. I think he and his wife really care for one another and have a solid partnership, and probably conceived their kids the “natural” way, but that doesn’t mean he ain’t gay. I have at least two gay dude friends that were married with kids once upon a time. One of them is the gayest gay that ever gayed, too. Like, he would go to CVS, buy some Anal Ease, then show it around the office, then go off on a tangent about the hotel concierge he fucked on a business trip to Dallas.

            1. I really dislike guys like that. If you are gay, fine have fun. But to marry a woman knowing you are gay is pretty much the lowest thing you can do. And for the record, what possess women to marry obviously gay men?

              1. Maybe she wants a family and kids but doesn’t particularly want a sexual partner.

                1. Maybe. But the women I have known whose husbands have gone to the other team seem pretty broken up about it. Everyone who knows them knew their husband was gay. But they seem to have not noticed and are genuinely shocked and hurt when he leaves them. I don’t get it.

                  1. Oh yeah… if she didn’t know he was gay, then yeah that was be devastating. If both of them went into the relationship with advance knowledge of what they wanted and expected, then I can completely see why either or both of them might choose that option.

                    However, I will say that I personally know of at least one couple where the husband didn’t figure out he was gay until 4 kids later. It wasn’t that he was trying to put on a pretense, it was more along the lines of “Oh yeah… that’s what’s wrong, that’s what’s missing.” Just plain inexperience. I think that’s very sad for everyone involved, and a bit different from deliberately deceiving the spouse.

                    1. Librarian, I think you owe it to your spouse to figure out what the hell you want in life before you marry them. And that applies to a lot more things than being gay.

                    2. John, yes for sure. My 11:05 comment was more about people who don’t then leave them.

                2. Yeah, I would think for a certain type of woman, this is very win-win. If y’all are familiar with the explosion in Mormon “lifestyle” bloggers/mom bloggers, there are a lot that are very hipster types with husbands I cannot believe are husbands of women. And yet I think they kind of like it that way.

              2. He was from rural West Virginia – I’m not convinced he even knew that men fucking men was even something people did until he was much older.

                1. No wonder. It’s rural W(god damn)V. Why would he fuck another man when the sheep are so inviting?

                2. KK, you haven’t actually spent much time in redneckistan have you?

                  1. Meh, not really. Rural Vermont is not as rednecky as rural WV, that’s for sure. But I don’t doubt that my gayest gay friend that ever gayed went into his marriage with the best of intentions.

              3. Many of us have tried this because it’s what our society expected of us, John. And honestly believed that the transformative power of love would overcome our foul yearnings for other men.

                As far as the women – maybe they were also fooling themselves, maybe they like sensitive guys, etc.

                If reality was as simple and easy as you seem to think it is, the world would probably be a better place.

                1. You are still responsible for the harm you do to other people Tonio. It is not about being gay. It could be anything. When people decide they need to be X and leave loyal and loving spouses because of it, they are being narcissistic shitbags.

    2. I loved the detail that he has unruly pubic hair, as if that was a distinguishing feature unlike any other man’s

      1. Gee, thanks for that image in my head

        1. Wait, you’re completely chill with the visual of a duck taped to Greg Kinnear’s puckerhole, but unruly pubes bother you?

          Priorities man, priorities.

          1. duck? I missed something somewhere

            1. Scroll up for the comment posted by the highly esteemed and always classy Mr. SugarFree.

              1. Someone has to maintain a sense of decorum around here.

                1. Where’s my turkey pot pie, Saccharin Man?

                2. And sir, you never, ever, disappoint.

      2. Well he has exorcised all those junk-grooming Thetans…

  28. http://pjmedia.com/lifestyle/2…..ie-rumors/

    Not being a comic book geek, this means nothing to me. But Thanos is supposed to be the subject of the next Avengers movie.

    1. Uh, yeah, it’s called staying for the credits. Best Boy’s need love to, John.

      … Nerd self-outing.

      1. I have never watched a single one of those comic book movies. I watched the first thirty or so minutes of Spiderman on cable once. It was pretty good. I have always had a big thing for Kristen Dunst.

      2. Needs moar Loki. LOKI.

        1. I mean, Thor has him chained up in Asgard… so just imagine that for a little while.

          1. Incestuous Asgardian BDSM? Even I have limits, man.

            1. I don’t know… it seems a little warm in here to me.

            2. They’re not biologically related, for w

              1. They’re not biologically related

                Weird, they totally are in Norse mythology. Although Loki is Thor’s uncle in that, I believe.

              2. Plus they eye-fucked each other off and on throughout the whole first movie, what was I supposed to think??!!

                  1. Damn you for sending me to TV Tropes! Another morning… gone! ;P

    2. Also, at least they aren’t doing Galactus, even though many have trembled at the sight of his mighty purple armor.

      1. Also, at least they aren’t doing Galactus

        That would be quite a stretch

        /rimshot

    3. I saw it last weekend, and for what it’s supposed to be–a comic book movie for kids and nerds–it accomplishes its purpose well. But in some ways, it’s just a Marvel version of Transformers–any potential depth is glossed over for the ‘splody-‘splody. The Hulk probably destroyed more of Manhattan on his own than the aliens did.

      There’s an interesting angle that, in a movie like The Dark Knight, would have been more fully explored–Loki’s declaration that, fundamentally, people want to be ruled and that liberty is the worse thing for them. But Whedon’s nerd sensiblities prevent him from developing this rather mature theme on any substantive level.

      1. I think this is the problem with group movies like Avengers and X-Men, especially the first one. To get top talent, everyone has to get decent screen time. To do this, the story has to be pretty shallow.

        Avengers was 2.5 hours long and spent the first hour recruiting and re-introducing people. Imagine if they could’ve put the team together in 20 minutes and had 40 more minutes to explore the themes.

        1. To get top talent, everyone has to get decent screen time. To do this, the story has to be pretty shallow.

          This is even more pronounced when some of the team members are essentially dead weight, like Hawkeye and Black Widow. Whedon had to concoct a whole separate plot line for them because they didn’t bring anything inherently special to the team on their own.

          The next one’s going to be a real clusterfuck because the writers will have to spend an inordinate amount of time pulling in Thanos’ backstory instead of fleshing out the group dymanic of the Avengers. What you’ve got with Marvel are “events” as opposed to movies, which is why The Dark Knight will likely set the standard for what a comic book movie should be for a long time.

        2. I prefer to imagine putting the team together in 20 minutes instead of an hour, and releasing a movie that’s 110 minutes instead of 150.

          Look at all the people introduced in a movie like the first of the Thin Man films, and yet it only runs 90 minutes.

  29. Math proves cheap, available food is responsible for the obesity epidemic. So basically, its the libertarians fault that everybody is fat.

    1. Kevin developed a model that could predict how your body composition changed in response to what you ate. He created a math model of a human being and then plugged in all the variables ? height, weight, food intake, exercise. The model could predict what a person will weigh, given their body size and what they take in.

      However, the model was complicated: hundreds of equations. Kevin and I began working together to boil it down to one simple equation.

      Garbage in, garbage out. His model says exactly what he wanted it to say.

      1. How exactly do you boil down a system involving hundreds of equations and an equal or more number of variables into “one equation”?

        1. How exactly do you boil down a system involving hundreds of equations and an equal or more number of variables into “one equation”?

          See ‘climate change.’

        2. Seriously. If a model of a system this complex doesn’t involve solution of a large number of simultaneous equations or a lot of sopbisticated statistical analysis it’s probably bunk.

      2. Weight, food intake, and exercise are all variables? I find that odd, given that all of those variables would necessarily be composed of other variables (eg, metabolism, BMI, and type of exercise).

        Yep. Total GIGO.

      3. Yeah, when you claim you’ve simplified hundreds of equations into one, my bullshit alarms go off.

        It’s possible, but you have to make so many simplifying assumptions that your result is generally not applicable to a wide range of conditions.

        1. It’s possible, but you have to make so many simplifying assumptions that your result is generally not applicable to a wide range of conditions.

          See: GDP

  30. All gamers know Diablo 3‘s launch was an utter disaster, with it offline more than online the first day. Here’s an interesting piece on DRM: The Real Reason There Will Never Be Offline Single Player in Diablo 3.

    Always-on DRM is an annoyance and should be protested. I’m not sure if Metacritic bombing or incoherent forum raging is the right means of expression, but consumers have the right to protest practices that make their gameplay experience worse. But if you think this is all a naive attempt to fight piracy you’re wrong, it’s the Auction House that’s to blame.

    1. I’m kinda grateful. It booted me for the 3rd time about 11:30 last night, so I said fuck it and went to bed. If only Skyrim had done that to me.

    2. The worst part is that you could probably download the cracked diablo 3 from piratebay soon and it will run better than the official version.

      1. don’t bet on it – TPB is under DDoS

        1. So go to Demonoid.

    3. That is total 100% crap. Not crap as in false, just crap as in crap. They will not got any of my money ever.

    4. That was one reason I decided not to buy (eliminating skill and stat distribution was another thing that felt off to me, though maybe the beta’s limited skillset made that seem worse than it was).

      We’ll see if I have the willpower to wait until GW2 or Torchlight 2. Skyrim should hold me off for a while.

  31. All gamers know Diablo 3’s launch was an utter disaster, with it offline more than online the first day.

    Which was completely and utterly predictable. I played WoW for many year– quite long enough to know there hasn’t been a single launch of an online experience that Blizz hasn’t FUBAR’d as far as it could be FUBAR’d.

    1. Stupid squirrels… that was @Joe M at 10:45 AM

  32. Whoa thats a really scary looking dude man!

    http://www.Privacy-Rules.tk

    1. bravo – that is a truly great handle anonbot

      1. Agreed. Hopefully we can get him to make semi-cogent comments again as well.

        1. If they would just stop spraying Anon-Bot-Begone all over the place.

          What was the handle?

          1. They must have nuked it 🙁 It was tampydampy.

          2. tampydampy

            1. The Damp Tampon, the world worst tapas bar.

          3. It can’t have been as good as Tiggy Foo.

            1. Ok, I was wrong.

            2. my favourite is still Carbman Jones

            3. Tiggy Foo is irreplaceable. TampyDampy is full of win, though.

  33. So, I’ve been homewbrewing for a few years but until a couple of weeks ago had brewed exclusively with extract. I built up my brewery into a HERMS all grain setup, and wow. My first all grain beer is a kit from Northern Brewer that I had previously brewed as an extract kit. The difference is striking. The malt flavors are more subtle and the head is better. Overall I’m really pleased. I’ve always thought my extractbeers have been quite good but it seems there really is something to using fresh malt and doing the mash yourself.

    1. Maybe you’ll be willing to take on the bloodbrew challenge for us.

      1. Elaborate, please.

        1. Elaborate, please.

          Really? Really? Why would you even ask that? From Warty, of all people.

        2. We, the members and auxiliaries of the Axis of Glib, demand an alcoholic beverage made from human blood. We are seeking agents to produce said beverage. Your cooperation is requested.

          1. I thought the recipe for blood cheese was quite choice.

          2. Still no answer on my “pus-beer” question last night. Thanks a lot, Warty.

            1. I think the major problem would be finding a suitably reliable source of pus. How you you keep your woundslaves infected without them dying?

              1. if anyone could answer that, surely it would be you

              2. I think the major problem would be finding a suitably reliable source of pus.

                That’s easy. Pus is nothing more than interstitial fluid which is the fluid component of blood, basically. The only different between interstitial fluid, lymph, and pus is location. Now, note the differences b’twixt this and blood serum AKA blood plasma.

                You can see getting pus is not a problem. If you want the diseased variety, there are all sorts of weeping sores type diseases to choose from. Think of that as “top shelf pus.”

            2. Still no answer on my “pus-beer” question last night.

              Linky?

            3. pus-beer

              Gonorrhebrew: So good, you’ll clap for it!

              1. Gonorrhebrew: So good, you’ll clap for it!

                And it’s kosher too! Sharif, he’ll like it!

          3. It sounds like it might be best to start with diabetic blood to ensure a nati e source of fermentables.

            1. Already covered. Mass infusion of glucagon to raise BSLs.

              1. You need some higher sugars to get any sweetness in the product. What if we fed them a lot of milk to increase lactose levels? I think the protein levels might be a bit high, so lots of head and heavy mouthfeel.

                1. IOW, Blood Stout.

                2. What if we fed them a lot of milk to increase lactose levels?

                  Breast milk will suffice. It may have to be fortified with galactose or another monosaccharide though.

    2. Where were you when I brought this up last night, db? I sweat the pale ale I brewed (extract) was the best I’ve ever had.

      If you’re steeping malt in before the boil, how does it not accomplish basically the same thing as going all-grain? And I’ll take the consistent results of an extract over the unknown quantity of an all-grain any day.

      By the way, my Kolsch is starting to clear a bit from yesterday and my Hefe is lightening as it settles. 4 more days until bottling.

      Which reminds me: We’re gonna have to have a party soon just to get through the beer we’ve made. Anybody up for a weekend in LA next month?*

      *Sudden, you need to email me so I can get you some of this. I’ll be down there next week.

      1. Where was I? Drinking my beer.

        Anyway, I know it’s possible to make excellent extract beer because I have done so. I’ve do e partial mash andsteeping grains before but I think having more control over the base malt might be a big factor. There isn’t as much control over mouthfeel AFAICT with extract. Maybe it’s just this particular beer (Northern Brewer’s Broken Spear Bitter) which uses a slightly different base malt than standard American 2-row. Maybe I’m just overly excited that my first all grain brew turned out so well.

        1. I thought my extract beer was excellent until I brewed my first all grain batch.

          I ended up giving away my remaining extract brews. I just couldn’t drink them. Extract lends a metallic like tang that I can’t stomach.

      2. If you’re steeping malt in before the boil, how does it not accomplish basically the same thing as going all-grain?

        If you put a pinch of coffee grounds into a cup of instant coffee, how does that not accomplish basically the same thing as grinding your own beans?

        And I’ll take the consistent results of an extract over the unknown quantity of an all-grain any day.

        My all grain setup get a consistent 75% yield off the grain, allowing me to accurately predict my starting gravity.

    3. I’d love to do all grain, if I had six hours at a stretch to kill, and the money to get all the equipment. Extract with steeping grains works pretty well for me though.

      1. It didn’t take me nearly that long, as I designed my brewery to make it super easy to transfer wort and sparge. My very first all grain only took about 4.5 hrs which is better than i imagined possible. I had done some water-only practice runs during the initial cleaning and equipment shakedown.

        1. For me it takes between six and seven hours between heating the strike water and putting the last piece of clean equipment away.

          1. I wondered this aloud to Banjos the other day. I wonder if anybody has ever tried brewing (whole grain or extract) in a pressure cooker.

            1. I don’t know about brewing, but I think a pressure cooker could be easily adapted to make a small still.

            2. I don’t think the boil would work out because part of the purpose of boiling is to get rid of some volatile compounds created during the mash and boil. You’d have to have some sort of purge stream to get rid of these.

              1. I think the mash would not be good eother since rhe hogh temp would denature all the important enzymes.

          2. My equipment is all mounted on a skid and I just flush everything put with hoses and pump hot water arpund everything to sanitize. I designed everything for time efficiency. Plus enormous burners and gas shrouds kn the HLT and boiler make heatup very fast.

            1. My setup works, but that’s about all I can really say about it.
              I haven’t bothered with any major upgrades on any of the equipment because it just isn’t worth it.
              If I’m going to spend any money I’m going to upgrade to ten or twenty gallons at a time.

              Something like this with one of these would be awesome, but I don’t have the coin at this time.

              1. Mine’s set up to upconvert to 10 or 20 gallon batches just by replacing the tanks with larger ones. I can’t see a good reason for brewing that much at a time though. I have 4 taps and would rather have variety than quantity.

            2. I designed everything for time efficiency.

              I didn’t really “design” anything. I just took things that I already had and adapted them to a new purpose.

              1. Being a complete nerdgineer, I designed mine from the ground up: PFDs, PIDs;, 3D solid modeling, everything. Then I learned to weld stainless steel.

                1. Being a complete cheapskategineer I turned a brew bucket into a mash tun with a sleeping bag, another brew bucket and bottle bucket into a lauter tun with a drill, and used the turkey fryer as a kettle.

                  Didn’t buy anything.

                  1. We got two 6-gal carboys and a bottling bucket. We’re using a big 8-gal pressure cooker as a kettle. Easy-peasy.

                  2. The main reason I did mine the way I did is I have no patience for cleanup before and after, and hooking an unhooking hoses. So I knew that if I wasn’t going to give up on the hobby out of sheer frustration with cleanup I needed a system that would be super easy to handle the mundanities of brewing and leave more time for creativity in the process.

                    1. I have no patience for cleanup before and after

                      I used to be a dishwasher. Doesn’t bother me.

                    2. I used to wash dishes too and frequently had to choke my own dinner back down. Someone else’s cold spaghetti is just, like, grody to the max.

                    3. Come to think of it I did spend some money when I switched to all grain.
                      I had a single bay pots and pans sink installed in the basement.

                    4. I’d smoke a bowl with the cook and one of the waiters, and next thing I knew there was a hot burrito and a cold margarita at my work station.

                    5. Are you talking about how your Monday night went again, sarcasmic?

                      [I keed! I keed!]

    4. I liken the difference between all grain and extract to the difference between grinding your own coffee beans and using Folgers crystals.

  34. If a vegan hipster douche gets killed and turns into a zombie, what does he eat?

    1. ARTISIANAL GRAAAAAAAINS?

      1. Are they Fair Trade grains? Organic? GMO? There’s a lot of work that has to go into maintaining an eating disorder on that scale.

    2. Shotgun muzzle?

    3. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

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