A.M. Links: Obama's Vampire Attack, NATO Strikes Killed 72, Kissinger Gets a Patdown


  • metaphor!

    The Obama campaign's newest attack labels Bain Capital, the private equity firm Mitt Romney helped launch, a "vampire," which is not at all a label you might use for government.

  • NATO air strikes in Libya killed 72 civilians last year, according to Human Rights Watch. "Attacks are allowed only on military targets, and serious questions remain in some incidents about what exactly NATO forces were striking," the watchdog group said in a statement.
  • Noted terror suspect Henry Kissinger got the pat-down at a TSA checkpoint at the LaGuardia Airport in New York.
  • The family of an eighteen-month-old baby girl ejected from a JetBlue flight for having a name on a no-fly list says it still hasn't received an apology.
  • Scopolamine, a drug used to inhibit free will, is apparently a big hit on the streets of Colombia.
  • Elizabeth Warren told CNN Wall Street executives are waging a "guerrilla war" on financial regulations. Time to circle the wagons?

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  1. I know we all like to joke around, but seriously, fuck this guy. James Kirchick: New Book on Ron Paul by Brian Doherty Is a White Wash

    If there’s one thing that the 2012 campaign has taught us about Ron Paul, it’s that he is a bald-faced liar. Not just a run-of-the-mill liar like most politicians, but a liar so shameless that only the most slavish of devotees could maintain respect for him. Brian Doherty, a senior editor of Reason magazine and the author of a well-received book about the libertarian movement, is just such a follower.

    1. They can’t all be honest as Newt Gingrich!

      1. Or have his noted commitment to fidelity.

    2. With Ron Paul bowing out of the race

      Nice. The first words of the lede are a lie.

      1. Nice. The first words of the lede are a lie.

        This is what we call “foreshadowing”.

        1. I’s still waiting for the denouement.

    3. Merely another lowlife, Weigelian journolistic gutter slime among thousands. James Kirchick is less than a nothing, so might as well just forget it.

    4. What a cunt. He goes off on a rant about the newsletters, saying he “uncovered and exposed them for a New Republic story in 2008,” then later says Paul’s defense of them, or distancing himself from them, started in 1996.

      Hey asshole, you don’t “uncover and expose” a story that has been covered for 12 years. Is this guy delusional?

      1. Is this guy delusional?

        ….Yes? Is that a trick question.

        I think we should ratchet up his status to Fuckcunt.

      2. He’s also a real sloppy writer:

        ends up being little more than a love letter to Paul that, like all love letters, exhibits a willful blindness toward the glaring defects in the object of the author’s affection.

        Really? All love letters are like this? The world is stuffed to the gills with beautiful poetry about love, many centered around letters, and you decide that all of the objects of those letters throughout history have “glaring defects”? Does it hurt to be such a bitter old queen, Jaime?

        1. It’s also apparent that Kirchick knew years ago that the offensive bits were written by one James Powell (it’s in the microfiche archives he used for his research).

          James Powell is apparently a senior person at Forbes magazine now.

          It was kind of funny to see the “NEWSLETTERZ” meme die in the media once it came out.

        2. There’s this, too:
          “The full contents of these “bigot-grams,” as the Dallas Morning News referred to them, need not be fully rehearsed here…”

          I can only assume he meant “rehashed.” Did Newsweek lay off their entire editorial staff?

      3. Let’s not pretend ‘Reason’ magazine wasn’t all too happy to jump on that bandwagon. In fact they collaborated with Kirchick on that “story” IIRC.

        1. Fuck, zip it already. It was a libertarian-relevant story that they followed up on, because reason does “insider baseball” when it comes to libertarian politics.

          Maybe they should have just sent it down the Memory Hole?

    5. This article is so poorly written and so full of holes that I can’t help wondering if it is some sort of deep satire of the mainstream coverage of the RP campaign.

      Of course, I also posited the theory that Michael Moore is actually a hardcore closet-capitalist, so I can’t be trusted with such evaluations….

    6. If there’s one thing that the 2012 campaign has taught us about Ron Paul Barack Obama, it’s that he is a bald-faced liar. Not just a run-of-the-mill liar like most politicians, but a liar so shameless that only the most slavish of devotees could maintain respect for him.


    7. Hey Brian, when you repond to this cretin later. Don’t forget that Kirchick removed the name of the writer of the newsletters in question from the pdf files to muddy the the waters and intensify the blame on Paul. He had that name but pretended otherwise. Anyone going to call him on that?

      1. Bleh, I refuse to take responsibility for bad grammar until after the third cup of coffee.

      2. I doubt it, considering Reason was in cahoots with him.

        1. Objection, no foundation. You have absolutely no proof for that.

    8. out of curiosity, what honest man do you suppose James Kirchick is supporting.

      1. President D-ron and the Shondelles.

    9. He calls him a liar, then follows up with a few paragraphs of pearl clutching and guilt by association. Doesn’t actually even allege any actual lies, as far as I can tell. Not that I’m going to finely parse that giant turd of writing looking for a specific allegation.

      1. The comments there are wonderful. Except for some dumb cunt named Kelly who pretty much repeats Kirchick’s substanceless slander in all of her comments, they all bring up the lack of specifics and the outright lies in the piece.

  2. I can’t speak to whether The Mayor was the best big bad but he was certainly the most entertaining.

    1. Angelus was the best. Duh doy.

  3. It’s time Elizabeth Warren and her pals to hold a powwow and determine if it’s time to don the war paint and raid Wall Street. Taking a few scalps will teach those bastards what’s what.

    1. what was the result of her vision quest?

      1. If only she would wander off into the wilds of Roxbury or Mattapan for a week with nothing but a spear and some mescaline.

        1. Or just open a casino and fleece people with their freely given consent, as god intended.

          1. Casinos are still banned in Mass so she doesn’t have that option quite yet.

      2. Her vision animal is a mole b/c she’s so ugly she should live underground.

        1. I assumed it was a tapeworm.

            1. You rang? Is it dinner time already?

              1. I could so fuck you right now, Sandra.

            2. Botfly

              1. Dung Beetle

    2. I pray every night that a donor to Elizabeth Warren will ask for his money back, just to see if the NY Post will pull the trigger.

      1. I see what you did there…

    3. One of the funniest things was logging into my google account, and seeing my brother’s status: “I’m an American Indian”. Hey, we have one less generation between our Abenaki ancestor and Lizzie’s unverifiable one.

      And my grandma had the cheekbones to prove it! 🙂

  4. she’s crazy and Canadian, but some of you would hit that

    1. The psycho smile and crazy eyes should be enough to drive most people away.

      1. She works for me.

        1. Dammit, John, stop being the exception to the rule!

      2. I agree. There’s no way I would approach that.

        1. Live on the edge man.

          1. Got any scop?

          2. I’m with John. The crazy ones can be great fun. Just have an exit strategy and sleep with one eye open.

            1. If I would have to sleep with one eye open, I suppose the scop is out.

              You guys can have her.

          3. Before Mary, I would have agreed with you entirely, now when I see crazy bitch eyes I’m just reminded of that foul creature.

        2. “Approach” I can at least vaguely understand, but something about her tells me that “retreat” is not going to be the smoothest operation.

      3. Uh. No. I wish to all gods that I was able to get my forebrain to intercede with my limbic system in such cases, but my lizard brain does not give a shit about possible outcomes further in the future than “really great sex”. I know my mate-picker is broken, but I can’t really fix it.

    2. she’s crazy and Canadian, but some of you would hit that

      She looks like she has French kissed a shovel at high velocity. I’ll pass. Just because I have chosen to spare the Quebecois in my Maritime Annihilation Project (sans PEI) doesn’t mean I want to sleep with ’em.

      1. Your denials just strengthen my suspicions that you’re secretly from Canuckistan.

        1. Is it my high cheekbones? Look how far that got Ole Lizzy Warden. Whose campaign could use forty whacks, by the by.

          For the record, I would not rule out a Canuckistanian wifey. Just not a nutty Quebecois who’s off her rocker.

          1. nutty Quebecois

            Redundant much?

          2. Woah there buddy…what about Jessica Par??

            1. I’ve seen better, and without the insanity of a Quebbie Frog. I’ll hold out to Saskatchewan.

              1. I hear STEVE SMITH has a sexy sister

              2. I’ve seen better

                YOU LIE! /joewilson

                1. YOU LIE!

                  Hardly. I’ve seen Canadian women who blow her away with effort none. And without the feral, hirsute qualities of a STEVE SMITH sibling, though I suppose that what depilatories are for.

        2. He totally Canuckian – did you see how he spelled hemorrhoids??

    3. Only if I could convince her I was a Baldwin brother first. (To protect my identity).

  5. The family of an eighteen-month-old baby girl ejected from a JetBlue flight for having a name on a no-fly list says it still hasn’t received an apology.

    I hope at least the baby got a parachute out of the airline first.

  6. From Best of the Web yesterday

    Foreign policy expert Josef Braml, who analyzes the U.S. for the German Council on Foreign Relations, said many Germans give Obama too much of the blame because they don’t understand the limits of his powers.

    “There’s a lack of understanding both of how the system of checks and balances works–or doesn’t work any longer–and a lack of understanding of how big the socio-economic problems in the United States are, which cause the gridlock,” Braml said in a telephone call from Greece, where he was on vacation.

    Double bonus. First, we have a German lamenting the lack of dictatorial powers in the American Presidency, because such powers worked out so well for Germany. Second, he is on vacation in Greece complaining about the deep socio economic problems of the US.

    1. On the Greek subject – a Greek explains how they are saving the World from German domination.

      1. a Greek explains how they are saving the World from German domination.

        By proxy of both history and geography, Greece is little more than front line cannon fodder in an invasion. They are pretty much Eloi at this point. Beautiful people and nary a plump one amoungst them (sorry John), but pretty much cattle waiting to be slaughtered.

        1. Where do you get that I like fat women? I like thin women. I am just not like sarcasmic, so young boys don’t do it for me.

          1. Where do you get that I like fat women?

            I don’t click on half the Daily FAIL links since it is one of my two go to smut rags, so I merely assume you prefer the thicker, sturdier, Reubenesqe wimmins because Sarc (and others) give you such grief.

            1. Naw. Sarc is just angry that I like women who are over a size 2.

        2. Thanks for that link. I have not read that book – it is now on my list.

          1. When you go to get it, remember the current spelling is Time Masheen.

    2. the self-awareness is weak in Herr Braml. But hey, crank up the bouzouki music and toss back another ouzo. Opa!

  7. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-50…..ver-obama/

    CBS Times poll has Romney ahead by three and leading among women.

    1. Heterosexual women, anyway.

    2. CBS and the New York Times are just a bunch of far right wing teabaggers though, so what do they know.

      1. The general rule is that Republicans under perform in such polls by about 3 to 5 points. That puts the lead at 6 to 8.

        1. Well and the talk on this particular poll amongst some of the morning prompter readers was that Donks were over represented in the polling. Close to 40% of the respondents were self-identified Democrats.

    3. I want to meet the people in the “state of the economy” poll who answered that it’s “very good”, because whatever they are on must be fantastic.

      1. There’s a link to the drug in the morning links: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-will.html

      2. I think what they’re on is called publicly funded retirement pensions.

        1. Beat me to it.

          They’re government workers, Alack.

          1. Government work? Oh god no, everyone who does that shit becomes an addict and tries to get more people hooked on it. Sickening.

            I’ll stick to nice, healthy heroin.

          2. Didn’t Dodd-Frank incluse a provision requiring all economy-related polls be conducted only in the DC-metro area?

  8. The family of an eighteen-month-old baby girl ejected from a JetBlue flight for having a name on a no-fly list says it still hasn’t received an apology.

    Yeah, where the hell *is* President Obama?

    1. I hope they’re not just sitting there waiting for the phone to ring.

      1. he’s got enough damn phones, that’s for sure

  9. http://newsbusters.org/blogs/n…..z1uwQD0GZ5

    Yes, Chris Matthews is every bit as dumb as he appears and bombs on Jeopardy after mocking Palin. I love the “Francis Powers” answer. No Mr. Matthews his full name. Okay, Francis Powers. Too bad they didn’t bring Palin on to kick his ass in person.

    1. I normally watch Jeopardy, but couldn’t stomach it last night. His opening line was horrible when asked how he normally went about forming an opinion (facts, research, opinion – my ass).

      1. Ah crap, is that starting this week? I didn’t bother watching last night because I was doing other things.

        1. What the fuck is a “Jeopardy”?

          1. Correct, sloopy! You’re in the lead!

          2. I’ll take Irrelevant for $600

    2. This is relevant (again)

      1. Hey he had the right answers. They just were asking the wrong questions

        1. I was there to match my intellect on national TV
          Against a plumber, oh, and an architect, both with a PhD
          I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just wasn’t my night
          Art Fleming gave the answers
          Oh, but I couldn’t get the questions right, -ight, -ight

      2. What an awesome derpface.

    3. No matter how many times I re-read what you wrote, you seem to be saying you think Sarah Palin would do well on Jeopardy. That can’t be right.

      1. He’s saying she’d do better than Matthews. This may be true, he sets an awfully low bar.

        1. Or it might be false. She sets a pretty low bar for intelligence, too.

          1. Actually, I don’t believe that Sara Palin is unintelligent, I do, however consider her generally ignorant and intellectually lazy.

            I don’t fault people for that normally. Most people are too busy living lives, making a living aetc to become really well-informed. When you aspire to the presidency you kind of have to meet a higher standard.

            1. It’s amazing how so many can go on about how the media foists a narrative on us, yet so easily accept that same narrative when it suits us.

      2. John thinks that Palin is conservative Muad’Dib.

    4. Chris Matthews openly claims that higher tax rates don’t matter because poeple will just work harder to make up the difference. Anybody already watching him is either doing it for amusement, self-torture or because they’re chugging the Koolaid.

      1. Wow what an idiot.

  10. Scopolamine, a drug used to inhibit free will, is apparently a big hit on the streets of Colombia.

    Can Colombian anarchist reavers be far behind?

    1. It’s always something.

      Brace yourself for the zombie invasion!

    2. They’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skin to their clothes. And if we’re lucky, theyll do it in that order.

  11. Stories surrounding the drug are the stuff of urban legends, with some telling horror stories of how people were raped, forced to empty their bank accounts, and even coerced into giving up an organ.

    And if you’re very very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.

    1. I award you one Jayne Cobb or Saffron as you prefer.

      1. Why isn’t Kaylee an option? Kaylee should be an option……

        1. How good is a show where Inara is the 3rd choice?

          1. I always say, Firefly has the best-looking cast of any show, ever. There is really something for everyone on that show.

    2. Was that a Hammond B2 organ?

  12. This is most commonly used in PACU, under the trade name Scopace.

    Drug facts on scopolamine.

    You’re welcome.

    1. Thanks, Dr. Groove. I’m always skeptical about these new zombie drugs.

    2. That shit was in Contac.

      What’s PACU?

      1. Post Anesthesia Care Unit.

  13. Japanese robot arse exhibits realistic clenching

    1. “Scroll down for video”

    2. Yeah, but can it twerk, yet?

      1. Had to check Urban Dictionary. Guess I’m getting old and/or am still blissfully unaware of hip-hop culture.

        1. As of a mere 48 hours ago, I could proudly say the same. Then a youtube video shown to me on mother’s day by a family member ruined my innocence.

    3. clenching

      Fun medical fact: sustained contraction of this area is called tenesmus, and can lead to both internal and external haemorrhoids.

      I, for one, welcome our new donut seat using overlords.

      1. thanks for my first laugh of the day, Groovus Maximus 🙂

      2. Thanks for the pointer for the good Scrabble word TENESMUS (and it’s got a useful adjectival form TENESMIC). As an avid Scrabble player I love learning obscure seven- and eight-letter words.

        Just yesterday I was playing against the computer and had the letters for TENIASIS. 🙂

        1. Medical terms will make you a wicked and ruthless Scrabble player.

          My fave word for “X” is “xu”, which is a monetary unit in China.

          Remember that one.

          1. XU is Vietnamese, not Chinese. :-p

            “Wicked and ruthless” Scrabble players know all the legal 2-letter words. (There are about nine dozen of them in the North American word list.) They also know all the legal 3-letter words, which, sadly, is more than I do.

            And speaking of fun medical terms, I lost a game once because I failed to spot that amongst my tiles I had all the letters for PYURIA and could play it for a triple word score. My opponent ended up taking the spot to get his own big score.

    4. AM Links: Come for the Vampire Attacks, stay for the Robo-asses

      1. Another blow to the prognostication of the futurists.

        It now appears that “Bite my shiny metal ass” will not be part of our universe’s future.

    5. Are they ever going to come up with robo-tentacles? They’re Japanese, for Juyondai’s sake.

      1. You know, given the prevalence of tentacle pr0n, I am actually kind of surprised that no one has come up with a tentacle machine. It would seem to be a natural.

        1. I’m thinking the tentacles will be done once the whole robotics thing is perfected. You can’t be messing around with tentacles, if you’re going to do it then do it right.

          1. Cthulu approves.

    6. Wake me up when the Japs come up with a RoboBot that has four asses.

  14. Oldest cave art in Europe might be porn. Or a horse’s ass. Or there might not be a difference.

    1. but definitely not a goat’s ass

      1. It used to be a very safe sort of intercourse before Goat-AIDS showed up in 563 BC.

        1. IIRC, it’s also what got Aslan so pissed off at Mr. Tumnus.

        2. That must be what drove teh Spartans to pederasty.

          1. This is Spa-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ta, FTW?

    2. “Female genitalia”, my as poppycoc bullcrap!

      It’s obviously the on/off symbol.

  15. making music with floppy disc drives

  16. So a police chief in NH was shot and killed during a drug raid in NH a few weeks ago. But the guy who was selling steroids and oxycodone died too, as well as his alleged girlfriend/accomplice. Now…

    Shooter’s mother says the DEA can’t seize her cars

    How else will they pay for the brother’s funeral if they don’t get to indiscriminately seize and sell off everything on the property at the time of the shooting?

    1. Here’s an idea; Maybe they could pay for the funeral if they sold-off some of their hardware required for their forever war on human behavior. That police chief died for less than nothing. Hopefully some politician somewhere feels bad about that, because that is the only silver lining to this hilarious disaster.

      1. Sadly, no. It’ll be added to the list of reasons the police need to be armed like another branch of the military.

  17. http://newsbusters.org/blogs/s…..you-evolve

    Chris Matthews to black pastor “I hope you evolve”.

    1. Pastors can’t evolve, it’s against their religion. At least, that’s what I hear.

    2. I would say “racist!”, but he’s a leftist. And we all know that leftists can’t be racist.

    1. what’s the point? Given the choice between Santa Claus or paying their bills, guess which one they’ll pick

      1. Greece is in a strong negotiating position, because a Greek exit would damage the “European Project.” And the Eurocrats can’t let that happen, even if that means upsetting voters in other EU-countries.

        1. I don’t think so. The Greek people are going to collectively flip-off the EU bureaucrats and Germany, consequences be damned.

          The Greek exit is weeks away.

  18. serious questions remain in some incidents about what exactly NATO forces were striking

    Civilians. Duh.

  19. What pissed me off about the Kissinger coverage this morning was the “OMG! Why are we searching Kissinger?” tone of it. Fuck that unconvicted war criminal. He ain’t special. If they’re gonna search toddlers and grandmas and guys with colostomy bags, why should he get a pass?

    Maybe if we show just how absurd the TSA is with shit like this, more people will wake up and ask for change.

    Hell, I’d trust most people more than him, anyway.

    1. Yeah, when I read the headline I was like, hey they finally patted down an actual terrorist for a change.

    2. Damn right, T-bag. Unfortunately, if somehow every politician who helped shit the TSA into existence was exposed to its public molestation and hulk-inducing blasts of gamma rays more regularly, it would only serve to motivate those fuckcunts into granting themselves immunity from such searches. Regardless, they deserve all that and worse. I’m dreading the day I have to get my balls fondled just to get on a damn bus. I hope hell has built a new circle just for these bastards.

      1. actually, the Congressman behind the TSAs creation is leading the charge to have it privatized. Mica from FL. However, he appears a voice in the wilderness.

        1. Of course. Government doesn’t give-up power after it has been willfully ceded to it.

    3. Fuck yeah. I thought “if anyone deserves a TSA colonoscopy, it’s that ratfucker”.

      1. For creative cursing, I find using “rat-” at the beginning or “-muffins” at the end of just about any curseword always works.

  20. Private group aims to build high-speed rail without government funding

    “We’re in the process of doing the route studies, the environmental work, pooling the engineering work to determine the best route between Houston and Dallas,” said Eckels, president of Texas Central Railway, a Japanese-U.S. partnership previously known as Lone Star High-Speed Rail Llc.
    “It is a highly capital-intensive project, but we believe it is commercially viable,” Eckels said. “We are not looking for operational subsidies from the state or federal government.”

    1. “We are not looking for operational subsidies from the state or federal government.”

      In that case, best of luck.

    2. “We are not looking for operational subsidies from the state or federal government.”

      You’ll pardon me if I don’t believe Bob Eckels when he says that. He’s damn sure looking for some kind of handout from the .gov, be it eminent domain or loan guarantees. Operational subsidies come later, I’m sure.

      1. For the uninitiated, Eckels is a former Harris County Judge. In TX, counties are run by a Commissioners Court, which is basically like a city council. As the Judge, Eckels was the equivalent of the Mayor of Harris County, which is where Houston is located.

    3. There should be a “yet” at the end of that quote.

      1. I suppose he didn’t specifically rule out subsidies from the City of Dallas, HGAC, etc…

        The City of Dallas is probably stupid enough to do it, too.

        1. The only reason they hired Eckels was to work the Houston/Harris County political end. I’m sure they have somebody else to work the Dallas angles.

    4. “The Texas Department of Transportation didn’t even have a rail division to help regulate the process until 2009.”

      Yeah, we had the fucking Railroad Commission. Which was hugely powerful because it also regulates all of the mineral rights and oil gas leases and drilling. You’d think the fucking Railroad Commission could find time to regulate railroads.

      1. As I understand, the Texas Railroad Commission doesn’t have anything to do with railroads, because the Federal Government assumed that function in the mid 80s. Because it is the state’s oldest regulatory agency, the lege won’t consent to changing the name. The Texas Railroad Commissions regulates Texas’ Energy industries.

    5. “Also undecided is precisely where the tracks would be built. The rail line could be installed in existing freight railroad right of way between Dallas-Fort Worth and Houston, but it would have to be separate from freight operations, Eckels said. Such a move would require the cooperation of freight companies such as Union Pacific Railroad and Fort Worth-based BNSF Railway, which own many of the tracks in Texas.

      Also, there would be no railroad crossings. The bullet trains would have to go over, under or around car traffic.”

      I found the catch. Track sharing and about 1000 overpasses need to be implemented. Preferably with state money and power.

  21. The Obama campaign’s newest attack labels Bain Capital, the private equity firm Mitt Romney helped launch, a “vampire,” which is not at all a label you might use for government.

    Or for Blackstone Group.

  22. The TSA mistook Henry Kissinger for noted terrorist Ben Stein.

    1. “Anyone…anyone…Voodoo economics…anyone?”

    2. I wonder who’s Kissinger now?

      1. I am Kissinger!

        1. We are all Kissenger ?

    3. …and his junk for Ben Stein’s money.

  23. Since Sarcasmic hasn’t weighed in yet with Daily Fail links, I offer this one of Charlize Theron, Kristen Stewart (gormless as usual) and Chris Hemsworth. All three of them looked shitty, but I still want to see the film (and oddly enough, so does the spousal unit): Snow White and the Huntsman Premiere.

    1. I think the concept that the evil Queen feels threatened by Kristen Stewart might damage my suspension of disbelief.

      1. I do think Charlize is perfect for the Evil Queen, though. She has that icy blonde thing going on. But yeah, Kristen vs Charlize isn’t even a contest, even in the Daily Fail pics.

    2. My wife and daughter are looking forward to it as well. I think it will be one of our rare movie outings this summer.

      1. Come ‘on Sparky, you’ve got see the glorious ode to naval murder and the exponential ramping retardation of most Americans that is Battleshit…er…Battleship. Coming to a theater near you soon, just in time to destroy your kid’s brain before summer. As god intended.

        1. Meh, as a family we just rarely do movies. Unless we can get in a Sunday morning matinee it’s just too expensive to sit in an auditorium crammed full of assholes.

        2. my favorite part of the Battleship trailers is that an Irishman is needed to play the part of an American admiral. I like Liam Neeson but really?

          1. Is it just me or did I see in one of the trailers that it was tied in with the Hasbro game?

            1. Yep, they say it was “inspired”…somehow.

              1. In other words, Hollywood ran out of ideas years ago and after scraping the bottom of the barrel has gone dumpster diving.

                How long before a live action Angry Birds movie?

                1. Hitchcock was a visionary.

                2. Man, at least Angry Birds kind of has a plot.

                  1. Kill the Pigs? I dunno, sounds like asking for trouble…

                3. Aren’t they already doing Monopoly?

          2. my favorite part… is that an Irishman is needed to play the part of an American admiral

            Hollywood is chockers with foreigners putting on American accents. They’re tekkin’ our jerbz!

          3. It is because there are no American actors under the age of 60 who are not whinny beta males. Who else were they going to cast? Seth Rogan?

            1. well, there’s always Jon Hamm, but he can’t be in everything. Unfortunately

            2. derp da derp BETA MALES derp

        3. I am going to see this, because Peter Berg can’t fuck up a movie about toys as badly as Michael Bay, and COL Greg Gadson (who I went to school with; lost his legs in Iraq) has a bit part where he fights one of the aliens.

      2. In addition to Snow White I particularly want to see Prometheus this summer, which is a sort of riff off Ridley Scott’s Aliens series. I have been playing and re-playing the Mass Effect series, and I think my brain is sort of in that sci-fi/ space-opera mode.

        1. Yeah, Prometheus is another one I’m very interested in. Ridley Scott doing sci-fi again? Sign me up.

        2. I await this with bated breathe, Demonica Archiva. H.R. Giger is probably my favourite visual artist, overall. He main discipline is architecture and architectural design.

          1. The trailer looks incredibly atmospheric. I have a huge soft spot for forgotten civilizations, ancient ruins, and forbidden knowledge, so this movie is pushing a lot of buttons. 😀

            1. I have a huge soft spot for forgotten civilizations, ancient ruins, and forbidden knowledge,

              It’s the lure of Stonehenge, isn’t it, O firey-haired one? It must be the Druid in you. Do you look Druish?

              1. Haha yeah, I am afraid if you put me in flowing robes, a long woolen cloak, and a band around my hair, I’d work the Stonehenge look pretty hard.

            2. I’ve been really looking forward to this but the trailer I saw disappointed me. Maybe it was the presentation but it seemed like they were trying to sell a Michael Bay production of a Ridley Scott film.

          2. Hey, Groovus, you’re making that fat med salary. Did you know you can buy chairs by Giger? Surely affordable for a man of your wealth and taste.

            1. I did! However, funds are directed towards other endeavors, so my Giger appointed study will have to wait. TBH, I would prefer an/the original sketch drawing/s for the xenomorph.

              1. That would be a nice thing to have.

                If I had all the money, I’d pay for him to design me a library. But, alas, my monocle is merely gold, not platinum with diamonds.

              2. I thought you and Warty settled that palimony suit amicably?

        3. I have been playing and re-playing the Mass Effect series, and I think my brain is sort of in that sci-fi/ space-opera mode.

          You wouldn’t happen to have an identical twin sister that’s looking for a special man, would you, Devil?

    3. Feel free to take up my duties on Tuesdays. I have a stupid 9am meeting that prevents me from posting links in a timely manner.

    4. Nice pipecleaner legs on the brunette. Eat a sammich and do some squats. What was the dress designer going for, early Karen Carpenter?

    5. Ol’ Chris looks OK – sometimes a guy’s gotta pretty hisself up. I won’t hold it against him.

    6. Disappointed. I expected the Huntsman daughters.

      1. You were disappointed? Imagine how I felt when I saw this headline

        1. That man is a berk. Plain and simple. Disgusting.

    7. Kristen Stewart’s dress looks like she’s covered in black merkins. Tragic.

    8. Got to disagree with you on Charlize Theron there. She looks good in those pics. Kristen Stewart is a fug though. She needs to keep hair in her face, that swept back look will never work for her without massive facial reconstruction first.

  24. real-life hamburglars caught on film

    1. Confession: One of the bars I frequented while in college featured a McDonald’s on the walk home. Except said fast-food franchise closed before the bar closed. Dumpster diving, anyone?

  25. Hey Chris, it’s time you figured it out, you are too old to be this delusional, you are Washington DC smart, not real world smart:


    1. Washington, D.C. smart

      That’s like intelligent, for a retard, right? I’m thinking Ruprecht from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

      1. Don’t take the cork off the fork.

        1. Corked Forks.

          That’s what we should start sending to congresscritters in DC.

    2. He looks like a deer in the headlights there, that wide-eyed panicked expression.

      1. It’s the delerium tremens.

  26. There is a dude that really seems to know what he is talking about . Wow.


    1. Come on, Anonbot, you aren’t even trying anymore.

  27. Ohhhh, Scopolamine. That expains the rainbow halo. I know what all you guys are thinking about this drug but I suggest you watch White Zombie before you put your plan into action.

  28. Elizabeth Warren told CNN Wall Street executives are waging a “guerrilla war” on financial regulations. Time to circle the wagons?

    Nah, Warpath Warren just wants more wampum.

    1. I don’t know why everyone keeps picking on her.

      She’s just a poor little Indian girl.


    2. because who better to impose regulations on a business they know nothing about than a group of professional contribution takers. I keep waiting for reasonable people to ask why politicians and bureaucrats are more capable of regulating anything than the people who actually work in that area.

      1. Politicians and bureaucrats are not corrupted with profit motive.

        No, these people have intentions as clean as the wind driven snow.

        Their hearts are pure and their minds are open.

        They have no motivation other than to do what’s best for The People.

        And if you believe any of that you are a complete moron.

  29. Tuesday Daily Fail Cheesecake: Men in Black 3 Premiere. For the menz: Nice rack! Fashion commentary: Looks great.

    1. Baby got back.

      1. She looks elegant and sexy, but that chick at the bottom has “attention whore” written all over her.

        1. Just whore.

          1. And you looked very closely to see exactly what was written there, right Brett?

            1. I concur with Brett’s assessment. She’s a bit…tawdry.

            2. Like the Baptist minister in the titty-bar. Its for the good of the flock, but I don’t delight in it.

        2. I looked very closely and didn’t see any words anywhere on her body.

    2. Dafuq???

      That reminds me of Argentina’s Dancing With the Stars

      1. The purple mermaid dress or the tape dress? I like the mermaid dress because it’s well-fitted and a great color with her skin tones. The tape dress speaks for itself.

        1. That German chick…with the tape and the tits and ass. Even the trashiest reality TV whore in the U.S. wouldn’t do a red carpet in that getup.

          1. That German chick…

            Res ipsa loquitur, KK.

        2. The tape dress speaks for itself.

          Yes, it screams panache and tasteful whimsy, doesn’t it?

    3. Holy Moly. Looks like she came to life from a fifteen year old kids fantasy art poster.


      1. Who doesnt love side boob.

        1. Lobster girl sideboob = awesome. German “glamour model” sideboob = squicky dirty.

          1. Are you impugning the purity of Lobster girl?

            1. Err…no. I said lobster girl sideboob = awesome. Y u no read?

    4. Mercy.

    5. Are the “Pussycat Dolls” no more? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

  30. I’m in Honda EDI testing Hell right now, so without any further ado:

    some of my latest synth “compositions”



    and I’m outta here.

    1. before I go – one more observation:

      I went to Oceana county yesterday, which is a podunk nothing of a place. It struck me how libertarian ideas seem to work better – to a degree, mind you – in such places. There I was in a local bar, eating deep-fried asparagus – with only 3-4 cops to police the entire county. Property owners do pretty much what they want too, though the wealthier cottage/seasonal visitors want more and more rules to stop “blight”.

      Sure, there is an extensive “old boy” network there and very conservative religious beliefs, but it never gets “in your face”. Though gossip is extensive, people generally leave you alone.

      It seems with increased population density comes more and more lefty politics.

      1. deep fried asparagus. Healthy and decadent at the same time.

        1. Does the deep frying eliminate the funky pee odor post asparagus consumption?

          1. No. It’s just the price you pay for good asparagus.

  31. Congress shuts down Navy’s gold plated biofuel program.

    “In its report on next year’s Pentagon budget, the House Armed Services Committee banned the Defense Department from making or buying an alternative fuel that costs more than a ‘traditional fossil fuel.'”

    They obviously need the money for other gold plated turds that have more districts involved in the graft, like the F-35.

    1. shit HTML fail. Has anyone seen my close italics tag? I seem to have dropped it.

    2. What’s the point in having this great military if we can’t use it to capture prime rapeseed producing land and force brown people to make bio-Jet A to fuel our ground attack planes?

  32. Man… dig the nasty comments here:


    Hard to tell how many of them are Team Bluetards, and how many are Freepertard-style idiots…

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