A.M. Links: Bush Convicted, 49 Headless Bodies Found in Mexico, Yahoo CEO Out

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  • him?

    George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and six others were convicted of war crimes by a tribunal in Malaysia. The tribunal ruled victims of torture ought to receive reparations.

  • Trouble in the House of Morgan. "We told you something that was completely wrong a mere four weeks ago," Jamie Dimon told Meet the Press this weekend.
  • The headless bodies of 43 men and 6 women were found along a highway outside San Juan, Mexico, in the border region. Drug cartels are suspected.
  • Yahoo's CEO is out after lying about a computer science degree. He's Yahoo's third CEO in three years to depart.
  • Lawyers for a former day laborer scheduled to be executed in Texas this week argue the man is not mentally competent. They say he has been seen lying on the floor of his jail cell covered in urine. Judges have ordered him to be medicated by force if necessary so that he's legally competent to be executed.
  • A former Newark police officer was convicted of conspiracy for trying to rob drug dealers, but may avoid prison time altogether since he took less than $200.

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  1. Bush a War Criminal, you say? Fantastic! Now maybe we can work on getting things like this done expediently so we can, y’know, impeach people.

    1. In more serious news The He Men Women Haters club elected Alfalfa as president again. Buckwheat protested not being allowed to vote again. He was quoted as saying “seriously?”.

  2. Surely the Malaysians will now turn their attention to Obama.

    1. And get droned? I don’t think the tribunal has the stones to take on a man who wear a halo and a crown.

    2. My first thought, too. Ideal timing would be for all the liberal partisans to condemn Bush and THEN have the same court announce they are trying Obama for the same crimes.

      Who am I kidding. He’ll probably get a second Nobel Peace Prize.

    3. We’ve always been at war with Eastmalaysia.

  3. Slim pickins at the dailymail today.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..Vegas.html

    1. The tats on both of the guys in those pics are incredibly unaesthetic.

    2. Never heard of her. Cute girl except for the nasty bruise on the back of her neck.

  4. Pics of pets in pictures.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-done.html

    1. Some of those photos are pretty good.

      1. Let me guess, you have taken a shit in/on Stratford-on-Avon and Liverpool. Have you considered Immodium?

        1. Do not use Sandi’s meme on Sandi’s meme. We need both Sandi and Barfman for threads like these.

          1. “What did I tell you about crossing the memes? DON’T CROSS THE MEMES!”

            It’s strictly professional concern, Marshall.

      2. I don’t know how you managed to steal my handle. I tried to register a few weeks ago and was told my name had been taken. That’s pretty low.

  5. Yahoo’s CEO is out after lying about a computer science degree.

    I was wondering how he got laid so much in college.

  6. Gratuitous Christina Hendricks pics.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..ffect.html

    1. GDI. I love Christina, but she can’t dress herself for shit.

      1. GDI. I love Christina, but she can’t dress herself for shit.

        Are you saying that she needs one of us to help her get dressed? I’ll take that bullet for the team.

    2. Booooooooooobies

    3. If find it interesting that the only two commenters on Ms Hendricks’ luscious boobage are straight chicks. Makes me wonder about the dudes around here…

      1. Huh? What? Sorry, Kristen, I was staring at your tits…MALE GAZE!

        1. I hope you were using a magnifying glass!

          1. Most amusing. I appreciate factory originals. Besides, Miss Hendricks possesses a nasty case of cankles.

      2. I think “the dudes around here” prefer to remember her as she was in Firefly.

          1. MOAR

            Btw, he has my exact bday, I never realized that. Pretty funny

            1. Too bad you are more likely to get a B-day E-card from the WH than from Herr Baldwin, Demonica Archiva.

              1. How dare you doubt her powers! The only reason she hasn’t gotten one yet is because she’s too busy forcing him to clean the pool, deliver pizza, fix her plumbing etc

                1. How dare you doubt her powers!

                  Who said I did? You forget how relentless the WH is, however…

                  fix her plumbing

                  I should never doubt the diabolical otherworldly sultry skillz of a bookish, redheaded siren.

                2. …With no shirt on.

                  1. …With no shirt on.

                    I’m assuming this applies to both of you whilst Manservant Baldwin is, ahem, “fixing your plumbing?”

      3. I was too busy masterbating to comment.

      4. Make that three, Kristen. Hot hot hot!

      5. My alias counts as a acknowledgment of her hotness every time I post.

    4. Niiiiiiiicce!

  7. Town gives tickets for “reckless walking”.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..s-U-S.html

    1. As defined by the Ministry of Reckless Walks?

    2. Here in Decatur, GA, I was pulled over while riding my bike about 2 weeks ago. Which was great, because it clearly signalled that the police had solved all other crimes and all that was left was to harass guys on bicycles. I suppose they’ll get around to those pesky pedestrians next.

      1. Did they give you a Field Sobriety Test and threaten to shoot your dog?

        Fun Fact: Dr. Groove has gotten a jay walking ticket in Whorelando, FL.

        1. Did they give you a field sobriety test and shoot your dog, Groov?

          1. No dog handy. I was surprised he didn’t give me one considering I was in a club laden area at the time.

            1. Maybe they can give out “we’ll shoot your dog later” IOUs?

        2. I thought he was about to shoot me after I mouthed off to him as much as I did for pulling me over.

          1. Had to go through a DUI checkpoint a couple of weeks ago… when the cop asked if I’d been drinking, I said “yeah, for about thirty years so far”.

            I don’t think he approved of me thumbing through my CATO pocket Constitution, either.

            But, he just sighed and waved me on, as I wasn’t drinking, and did not have a dog in the car.

  8. let’s hear it for the tranny clown bank robber

    1. Ew. Ewwwwwww.

    2. POLICE are searching for a man who robbed an Arizona bank wearing women’s clothing and clown makeup.

      Sorry, any bank that wears women’s clothing and clown makeup is just *asking* to be robbed.

    3. The man, who also wore a large-brim hat during the robbery, fled on foot from the scene.

      Sounds like this “fellow”. Val Kilmer, in addition to being an elderly lesbian, apparently has taken to a life of crime. Joanne Whalley must have really soaked the poor dope.

      IFH, Reason needs to hire you as a dedicated provider for A.M Links.

    4. This is why I keep my money with a Tranny Clown Credit Union.

    5. No weapon was used in the robbery, police said.

      Not even one of those flowers that squirt water?

      1. *AIDS-infested* water!

  9. Those fucking Catholics in Mexico are little more than savages. “Religion of peace,” my ass.

    1. They’ve been owned by the Spanish and the French. I think they know how to kill people in brutal ways.

  10. Five witnesses who testified for the state accused Smith of stealing cash from drug dealers, planting drugs and guns on them and making false arrests.

    Unlike this upstanding agent of the state, I’m sure all the witnesses were criminals.

    1. Beam told jurors the witnesses, including Furlow and Dudley, should not be trusted because they were either corrupt cops or drug dealers who cut deals with the state to testify against his client.

      I’m psychic.

      1. He knows they’re criminals since other criminals ratted them out to reduce their sentences.

        1. it’s stoolpigeons all the way down…

      2. Allofasudden, jailhouse snitches are unreliable? Huh.

  11. How to respond to a lawyer’s letter: an oldie but a goodie

    http://www.nasw.org/users/nbauman/arkell.htm

    1. Can’t I just use the one Government uses, “Fuck you, that’s why!”

    2. I always liked the “Dear Sir, Some idiot appears to have stolen your letterhead and is sending out stupid letters under it. I have attached a copy of the one we received for your reference.”

  12. John says “shwing!”, Barfman says “barf!”.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..aiser.html

    1. That’s Eddie Monsoon, HOW DARE YOU.

  13. Idiot alert! The first par is priceless

    Getting By Without Minimum Wage in Germany

    1. Typical Spiegel style writing, exaggerate the problems happening in Germany and forget to mention that the solutions it subtly is pushing have hardly done wonders for fellow France.

    2. You can get a decent place for two in Berlin for 500 euros/month. Try that in the middle of Paris you ungrateful kraut.

  14. Judges have ordered him to be medicated by force if necessary so that he’s legally competent to be executed.

    Why? If the goal is to be as merciful as possible in doing this, why would you want him competent? Why not let him live in delusion and go away with no sense of what’s happening. We make this huge deal about the suffering of those on death row (which usually more is about how we feel about it, or we’d go with the firing squad), so if he’s a gibbering incompetent now, why isn’t that better than a stone-sober individual contemplating his imminent death?

  15. Judges have ordered him to be medicated by force if necessary so that he’s legally competent to be executed.

    I’m surprised they don’t just medicate the citizenry by force so that they’re morally capable of executing the legally incompetent.

    1. So THAT’S how Jocelyn Wildenstein got the way she did! The woman is a menace!

    2. Following a breakdown, Ms Smalley was admitted to Warneford Hospital in Oxford and was prescribed anti-psychotics for her increasingly obsessive behaviour.

      You don’t say. The sad thing is, is that she was fairly attractive before, if that “before” pic is any indication.

  16. Greek Exit: Looking more likely

    They should have done this from the get-go. There’s an old military saying: don’t reinforce defeat.

    1. “Santorum on Greek Exit: Policy Needs to Grease Ways for Smooth Euro Disengagement.”

    2. Top men. Wasting billions and delaying the inevitable.

  17. So this is why Groovus is moving to Ukraine

    http://www.spiegel.de/internat…..32028.html

    1. Oh my.

      1. Perhaps a group of H&R commenters could make some libertarian demands, and threaten to go naked until these demands are met.

        1. I’d do my best not to meet the demands of the ladies in that slide show in hopes that they continue to “protest”.

          1. Some of the people in the slide show are guys. Including the naked bike-riding guys and the bearded guy in China.

            1. I want to ride my bicycle…

              1. What happens if they hit a pothole?

                1. What happens if they hit a pothole?

                  Dr. Groovus earns his money, *butt* good.

    2. Let’s just say it strengthens my resolve. I would be a fibber if I didn’t factor in the lovely Slavic wimmins with high cheekbones whilst brooding over this decision. Odd that Elizabeth Warren didn’t claim Slavic heritage when completing her academic paperwork. She certainly is Babooshka worthy.

    3. I like the Ukranian cops standing around with “I suddenly love my job” grins in the 3rd or 4th picture.

  18. The tribunal would also submit the finding and records of the proceedings to the Chief Prosecutor of the International Criminal Court, the United Nations’ Security Council.

    More circle jerk news after the break.

  19. Barone: Three Different Ways to Look at the 2012 Campaign

    Most voters were ready for an alternative, but were wary of Reagan, who was 69 years old and supposedly extreme conservative. He might have disqualified himself in a number of ways.

    Instead, in his one debate with Carter, on the Thursday before the election, Reagan echoed a 1934 Franklin Roosevelt fireside chat, which he remembered but the press corps didn’t. “Are you better off than you were four years ago?” he asked voters.

  20. The Great Human Rights Reversal: The Democratic left has conceded human rights to the conservatives.

    1. American politicians are just starting to be honest about human rights – once they’re in power, they don’t want to hear about them. TEAM BLUE or TEAM RED.

    1. it’s the classic libertarian question isn’t it: well, why can’t i have a secret nuclear reactor loaded with weapons-grade uranium in my basement?

      1. I’ve got a secret nuclear reactor in *my* basement, IYKWIMAITYD.

        1. Some nerd in the NSA is having an orgasm reading these posts.

      2. True liberty would mean that I don’t have to keep it secret.

        1. Careful where that one leads, Saccharin Man…or have you forgotten this documentary of you?

          1. As long as they were were paying rent, I don’t see the problem.

            1. It’s the currency medium of exchange here that could cause you a few wrinkles, Saccharin Man. Jus’ lookin’ out for my Ole Jedi Master here.

      3. Because you’ll take out your little burbclave if you screw it up?

        Of course, one of these bad boys seems like just the ticket, but alas, the entry price is a bit steep.

        1. Okay, let’s try that again.

          One of these.

        2. Because you’ll take out your little burbclave if you screw it up?

          “[Kodak]’s a Sovereign”

          “So declare war on him.”

          “It’s not a good idea to declare war on a nuclear power. [… Kodak]’s packing a torpedo warhead that [they] boosted from a an old Soviet nuke sub.”

      4. Why would I want low-grade uranium. If I’m building a reactor in the basement, I’m going to use the good stuff.

      5. Keep your daughter isotopes off my lawn and on your own property.

  21. Obama’s Wall Street problem

    The giant $2 billion trading loss at JPMorgan Chase highlights a central problem in President Barack Obama’s case for a second term: Four years after the financial crisis nearly brought the nation to its knees, very little appears to have changed.

    No high-profile bank executives are in jail. Special multi-agency task forces to go after financial fraud and mortgage market abuses appeared in State of the Union addresses, only to issue a few news releases and mostly vanish from public view.

    1. I thought the magical Dodd-Frank incantation was supposed to prevent trading losses like that from happening.

      1. It only works with the blood of virgin interns and other assorted voodoo.

        1. A virgin DC intern? So it doesn’t work at all.

          1. Male interns, he meant. Congressmen couldn’t have gotten to all of them, yet.

    2. The giant $2 billion trading loss at JPMorgan Chase highlights a central problem in President Barack Obama’s case for a second term: Four years after the financial crisis nearly brought the nation to its knees, very little appears to have changed.

      Looks to me like this system works better than Obama’s!

      JP Morgan makes a mistake? JP Morgan loses $2 billion.

      That system works waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than Obama’s system, where when JP Morgan makes a mistake, hard working taxpayers everywhere lose $2 billion.

      Way better.

    3. 2 Billion? Shocking! Why it takes the Federal government almost 5 hours to spend that amount of money!

  22. Perhaps I’m missing something, but why is JPM losing money a problem?

    1. And we have a winner!

      This was my thought when I heard the bitching about it on NPR this morning. Yeah, it turned out to be a shit investment but that doesn’t mean there is a systemic problem, or that steps should/could have been taken to prevent the investment.

      That said, if my finances were managed by JPM, I might consider looking for somewhere else after this misstep, and I don’t blame them for wanting to get rid of some people over it.

    2. Perhaps you have forgotten another magical spell called “Too Big to FAIL”; a wonderful little spell that always gets a saving throw?

      1. And yet, who really misses Bear and Lehman?

        Weren’t Bear and Lehman TBTF?

        They were big. And yet they did fail.

        And I feel fine.

        1. And I feel fine.

          Any R.E.M. reference from Document is instant piles of win, Ken. Well done.

          1. Could be The Beatles or Cream, too.

            1. Perhaps. But Ken has claimed Southern sympathies and R.E.M. hails from Athens, GA. I believe Ken was referencing “It’s the End of the World as We Know it.”

            2. Beatles and Cream? Sounds disgusting.

              1. Don’t other different foodstuffs, Sparky.

                1. Ahh, but you missed the double entendre.

            3. I thought Cream felt free.

        2. A lot of really important people became ordinary millionaires because of that Ken. Get your priorities straight.

      2. When folks trot out “TBTF” I generally say something like “Oh, you mean like the Roman Empire”?

        I think TBTF is somehow associated with kids receiving trophies just for showing up.

        1. I doubt Chase is going to fail over this, anyway. They did a fair job of avoiding destruction during the bank crisis. On the other hand, they’re going to take a nice hit in the market from this news.

          The crying shame of it all is that we’d have a much more robust and competitive financial services market now if the idiot companies had been allowed to fail. There were plenty of medium-sized banks that could’ve picked up the pieces and/or the customers.

          1. The crying shame of it all is that we’d have a much more robust and competitive financial services market now if the idiot companies had been allowed to fail. There were plenty of medium-sized banks that could’ve picked up the pieces and/or the customers.

            Agreed. TARP was passed on the presumption that we would go into an economic tailspin if it wasn’t. Well, we ended up going into an economic tailspin anyway, so there really wasn’t any point to passing it. Like you pointed out, plenty of smaller banks would have cannibalized the remains, but Paulsen and Bernanke had to get their connected buddies some gubmint cheddah.

            1. But see, that word, “Cannibalized,” makes some people feel icky, so they had to support the bailout to feel better about themselves.

    3. If you don’t own any JPM or work for JPM? Then it really isn’t a problem for you.

      If they lose market share in whichever of their businesses becasue of this, then the system is working perfectly.

      I love it when people get paid for their performance. And they just got paid a negative $2 billion for that performance!

      It’s the American way. Just as it should be.

    4. JPM and its investors contribute money to political campaigns.
      If they lose money then they may not contribute as much.
      Therefor the politicians must bail them out so they can keep the campaign funds flowing.

  23. Hope it’s a hot summer in Japan.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/worl…..ar-reactor

  24. http://www.slate.com/blogs/the…..tives.html

    You people wonder why I hate liberals so much. You have to see this to believe it. It is not that I can’t forgive liberals for being wrong on nearly every major issue for the last 100 years and for bankrupting the richest civilization in history. What makes them so loathsome is that after doing all of that instead of at least feeling bad about it, they sit around and smell their own farts and talk about how they should be philosopher kings. And well maybe people who disagree have some use in society so we won’t line them up and shoot them like our communist fellow travelers did.

    1. Stoopid from the comments from above link:

      e racist authors of _The Bell Curve_

      Why can’t liberals read dictionary entries?

      1. Science is racist.

        1. Apparently, the definition of racist is also racist.

      2. liberals are more open to evidence and reason

        Only so they can be twisted beyond any hope of recognition.

    2. I just can’t get over the delusional nature of these people.

    3. Chris Mooney argues that (on average) liberals are more open to evidence and reason than conservatives

      That was all I needed to see.

    4. Reading the phaggot SWPLs at Slate would make anyone with a sound mind consider filling out an al-Qaeda application.

  25. for no particular reason,

    Brian Eno – On Some Faraway Beach set to WWII combat footage
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K29t_L3CO6A

    1. It’s been done

      (Now if only they could work out all the rights issues….

  26. http://chronicle.com/article/T…..th/131760/

    Interesting article on the state of the current generation. It really ought to scare the hell out of you. These kids have had their entire lives, down to the second, planned by an authority figure. They do that for six to twelve weeks in boot camp to make a killer out of someone. These kids have had 20 plus years of this. I can’t help but read this and wonder what will happen in 20 years when their parents are gone or too old to manage their lives and the government steps in. We seem to be making an entire generation of rule following Nazis. How long before the right person comes along and gets these little fanatics to put people in ovens?

    1. tl;dr

      1. What the fuck?

        1. too long; didn’t read

          1. It will just depress you anyway.

            1. Calm down the histrionics, John. Boot camp is not what you think it is, more about discipline, obedience, and group loyalty than “creating killers.” The current state of child rearing and education isn’t great, but it doesn’t come close to even today’s namby pamby boot camp.

              1. So spending your entire life with every second planned and responding to authority figures won’t have adverse psychological effects?

            2. About 5 paragraphs is enough, and it is indeed depressing. Related point, I went to the opening “parents’ meeting” for my 7 yo son’s baseball league this weekend. It is the league designed by the aging hippie helicopter parents from hell. Stated goal of the league is to enhance self-esteem. All kids must be treated “equally” by coaches regardless of race, creed, economic status and — wait for it — “ability.” Every kid is to receive an “award” at season’s end. Is it any wonder that these kids get to the workplace and cannot deal with the fact that some people are better than they are and are more highly rewarded by their employers?

              1. And what happens when reality hits these little special snowflakes in the face? I don’t think they are going to be happy about it.

                1. And what happens when reality hits these little special snowflakes in the face?

                  Exactly – I don’t think parents are doing these kids any favors by this.

          2. Terry Castle is a professor of English at Stanford University. Her latest book is The Professor and Other Writings (HarperCollins, 2010).

            That’s why. I think English profs are so used to making the students write overlong junk papers that they like to try it out now and then.

      2. Yeah, it was interesting and well-written but I petered out after about 5 pages.

    2. Holy shit, that’s crazy. The weirdest part to me is how often these little fucks talk to their parents. I have a fantastic relationship with my parents, and I talked to them like twice a semester when I was in college. What went wrong with these little pricks to make them able to bear talking to their parents multiple times a day?

      1. And besides that, what makes these parents want to be stuck to their kids?

        Every time I hear my son call “Daaaaaaaaaaad” all I can think is “WHAT NOW!?!?!”

      2. My father made it very clear as I left for college that any financial support I received was dependent on calling my mother every sunday. Since I liked having a dorm room, I did.

        1. My father made it very clear as I left for college that any financial support I received was dependent on calling my mother every sunday.

          Awww. That is incredibly sweet of your Dad.

      3. My girlfriend talks and/or texts her Mom at least once a day, and she lives over 1,000 miles away. It’s just bizarre to me, because I barely speak to the family members I actually like, much less my own parents.

        1. These days, anything less and you get concerned looks – they probably think you’re from a broken home or something.

        2. I talk to my parents about every other day – but that’s just since my Ma was diagnosed with bladder cancer a couple years ago.

      4. My thoughts exactly – the whole fucking point of college is to GET AWAY from your parents. You know – become independent.

  27. KANSAS CITY, Mo. – First-class travel. Six-figure salaries for half the 132 officers and staffers. Plenty of plum jobs for family members.

    Life is good at the top of the International Brotherhood of Boilermakers, Iron Ship Builders, Blacksmiths, Forgers and Helpers.

    The union, with its headquarters in Kansas City, Kan., represents about 59,000 workers in the U.S. and Canada who make and repair boilers, fit pipes and work on ships and power plants. The recession has hit their trade hard, reducing union membership.

    At the same time, the president’s salary has surged 67 percent in the past six years, not counting a recent raise. Add in travel and some other expenses, and Newton B. Jones received more than $600,000 last year, putting him at the absolute top of the presidents of the dozen biggest unions in the country.

    Many relatives of union officers also ride the payroll.

    Totaling the pay to just the families of Jones and two other executives, the union and its affiliates gave them more than $2 million in annual salary, according to the most recent financial reports filed by the organizations.

    “This is one of the more egregious examples of money flowing like crazy that I’ve ever seen,” said Nathan Mehrens, a former U.S. Labor Department lawyer and now general counsel for Americans for Limited Government, a conservative watchdog group.

    http://www.mcclatchydc.com/201…..rylink=cpy

    1. But unions!!

    2. amateurs

      http://www.theaustralian.com.a…..6354992732

    3. What a pack of amateurs

      http://www.theaustralian.com.a…..6354992732

    4. “Henry, what exactly is it you do?”
      “I’m in construction.”
      “You don’t have hands like a construction worker.”
      “Wel, I’m a union delegate.”

  28. http://www.slate.com/articles/…..nion_.html

    Have a double dose of slate idiocy. Massachusetts is the best state in the union, really.

    1. I didn’t read it – how did they manage to avoid giving Romney any credit?

      1. That is a great point. Their political system is so corrupt that the last three speakers of the house have gone to federal prison. Their taxes are through the roof but the state is still going broke. The state has been bleeding population for decades. But everything is just great. It was so good that even a crazy radical nihilist right wing libertarian governor like Mitt Romney couldn’t screw it up.

        1. [E]ven a crazy radical nihilist right wing libertarian governor like Mitt Romney couldn’t screw it up.

          Please tell me you didn’t type that with a straight face.

          1. No I didn’t. Sorry the sarcasm font was broken.

            1. No need for one, though Comic Sans might have been a nice touch. I didn’t think you did, since Tony was claiming you would defend Shit Flopney as the forgone Inevitable Candidate(tm).

        2. The state has been bleeding population for decades.

          Nope:

          1960 5,148,578 +9.8%
          1970 5,689,170 +10.5%
          1980 5,737,037 +0.8%
          1990 6,016,425 +4.9%
          2000 6,349,097 +5.5%
          2010 6,547,629 +3.1%

          Maybe increasing slower than the boom states, though.

          1. Ya, lets not lend any support for the “failure to raise spending is actually a spending cut” argument, even indirectly.

            If X > Y, that is an increase.
            If X < Y, that is a decrease.

  29. For those expressed an interest, the bumbers stickers have arrived.

    Barack Obama: Dumber than Carter; Dirtier than Nixon.

    Contact me by email if you want one.

    1. Carter was a no kidding nuclear engineer and managed to get into Rickover’s nuclear navy. Dumber than Carter is an understatement.

      1. Carter also knew that the government couldn’t set oil and shipping quotas. So he stopped it, eventually.

  30. Warpath Warren needs more wampum, and she’s going back to her favorite source of funds to get it–Hollywood!

    Matt Damon, Ben Affleck and John Krasinksi–best known for his role as Jim on NBC’s “The Office”–will join Warren on May 21 for an event in Santa Monica, Calif.

    http://thehill.com/blogs/ballo…..for-warren

    Time to rev up the Learjet, Lizzy!

    1. But do they have high cheekbones? As an aside, I have yet to hear of any heap big trouble from the Cherokee Nation WRT to this Fauxcahontas.

      1. Apparently maintaining Teh Narrative trumps any cognitive dissonance Matt ‘n Ben might experience.

        1. *sigh* You people just don’t get it. SHE’S FIGHTING FOR THE LITTLE GUY! Haven’t you heard her say it? Why do you hate middle class workers?

        2. “Fauxcahontas” FTW.

          One chrome-plated internet for you, Groof.

          1. Alas, I’m merely appropriating what greater intertoobs titans have already created.

            Thanks anyway, FIFY.

            1. Well, just damn. Was hoping you’d been the first to coin it.

    2. Makes me wish more than ever that Schrute would gun Jim down in a hail of bullets after one too many passive-aggressive office pranks.

  31. If you’re a cop and you can only manage to extort $200 from a drug dealer, you deserve to be fired. Textbook example of “ur doin it rong”.

    1. Maybe all of the rich drug dealers were taken and already being extorted by other cops?

    2. According to Freakonomics, most drug dealers are pretty poor. And I believe anything in a book. Or in H&R. Or on a toilet wall

      1. Is that why you keep calling and asking about a good time?

      2. If not cash, why not extort actual product? Sheeeit, man. $200 ain’t nothin’, even for the lowliest street corner pusher.

  32. This is awesome. I am so glad to know my tax dollars are going to pay for such worthwhile endeavors:

    http://www.whitehouse.gov/moth…..-care-card

    1. Ideas for more e-cards from the White House:

      Happy Birthday: Before the Affordable Health Care Act, many Americans literally could not afford to be born, and had to squat rent-free in wombs. Thankyou, Affordable Health Care Act!

      Be my Valentine: If you think the fucking I’m going to give you is great, wait till you get the Government’s

    2. Anyone else notice that the President has effectively declared a war on men? That they only reference the benefits to women. Do you really think there will be a similar Father’s Day card next month?

      1. Why do you think they’ve spent the last 40 years trying to make men act like women?

        1. And vice-versa, Rocks. The feminist movement has been trying to make women act like men for decades.

  33. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/s…..3-17-14-47

    Bloomburg gay marriage failure in North Carolina a “set back for civil rights”. Using the nation’s largest police force to profile, stop and search young black men an advancement I guess.

    1. Gun ownership, also not a civil right for poor or unconnected people.

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