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Friday Funnies

Obama Fundraiser

Henry Payne | 4.20.2012 7:00 AM

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NEXT: Brickbat: Ignorance of the Law

Henry Payne
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  1. NotSure   13 years ago

    This actually is a funny one, did the cartoonist get replaced by the body snatchers or something ?

    1. R   13 years ago

      Would have been better if he hadn't basically explained the joke in the text. At least three lines need to be stricken.

      1. Randian   13 years ago

        Yes. "At private dinner. 40K a plate" would have been sufficient.

        1. plu1959   13 years ago

          All that was missing was a label on the cat: "FAT CAT"

          1. Formerly Almanian   13 years ago

            PWNED

            1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

              Considering that "cat" looks more like a fox to me, it really did need the label.

              PWN'D 2.0

          2. Bucky   13 years ago

            a blue colored cat would seem appropriate...

      2. John Tagliaferro   13 years ago

        It would have been better with "a puppy in every pot."

        1. Bucky   13 years ago

          german shepard's pie

  2. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    It will be even bleaker once Payne removes Garfield.

    1. MP   13 years ago

      Obligatory link for the unaware.

      1. Fatty Bolger   13 years ago

        Thanks, that's great.

  3. Jerryskids   13 years ago

    I am waiting for the $400-a-plate dinner. 99% cheaper so even the poorest among us can afford it.

    1. Y   13 years ago

      $400?!? You 1%er, us poor folk are waitin' for the $9.95 all you can eat buffet (Kids eat free)

      1. Randian   13 years ago

        Needz moar Wal*Mart

        1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

          There you are, TAO. Here is an answer to your medical query.

          1. Randian   13 years ago

            Hey, aneurysm was actually my IRL first guess! Go me!

            Thanks for the response; I appreciate it.

          2. db   13 years ago

            GM, my dad died of an aneurysm. I wasn't there when it happened but I don't remember people mentioning him freaking out, just complaining of intense pain for hours once they got him to the hospital. Are there types that fuck with behavior before becoming fatal?

            1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

              Not typically, but it depends on where the offending cerebral insult originates. If there are drastic changes in behavior prior to the event, it's etiology almost always lies elsewhere and is secondary, not primary. As I posted to TAO, I suspect there is more going on than just the aneurysm.

              1. db   13 years ago

                Thanks for the reply. His attending neurologist told my sister and I that there was some medical data leading some to conclude that aneurysm could be hereditary, and due to a systemic weakness in the walls of blood vessels due to some unknown hereditary factor. Any truth to that? This was over 10 years ago and I haven't followed up on it for a long time.

                1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

                  Yep, that is spot on. The best way, unfortunately, to guard against aneurysm is to have a family HX of them, and take care accordingly. They are congenital and it's unknown when they can rupture.

                  1. db   13 years ago

                    Awesome! Now I really can live every day as if it might be my last!

              2. Paul.   13 years ago

                Not typically, but it depends on where the offending cerebral insult originates

                The offending cerebral insult originated with his wife [falsely] accusing him of child abuse.

                I'm am here all ze veek.

  4. WWNGD?   13 years ago

    The only way to fight greed is to demand more money.

  5. Bardas Phocas   13 years ago

    What? No Obama eats dog - dog eat dog - or other such dog-related jokes.
    Dogs are the issue of the week Payne - get with the fucking program.

    1. Formerly Almanian   13 years ago

      Gives new meaning the the word "doggie treat"....

      HIYO! I'll be here for the next 5 minutes, folks! Enjoy the chicken fingers...I mean FIDO STRIPS.....hahahahahaha!

      But seriously....what's up with Oprah?

      1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

        But seriously....what's up with Oprah?

        The OWN channel's misfire is apparently on par with Payne levels of failure, and barely exceeds Bok's.

        I guess that's what happens when Oprah's no longer handing out free swag. There's a lesson in there somewhere.

  6. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

    Once again, Friday Funnies FAILS with the funny. I don't know what I would do if one was actually, you know, funny. I'd probably have a stroke.

    This one is simply a freshly gelded handful of bull testicles.

    1. Formerly Almanian   13 years ago

      freshly gelded handful of bull testicles

      Your description of this excrement approaches Saccharine Man levels of beautiful.

      May this evil "comic" be banished from your memory. I wish you a good and productive day, sir.

  7. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

    hahaha.

  8. Formerly Almanian   13 years ago

    This one is Payneful. HAH!

    Happy Friday, Reasonoids. We're like jolly green giants roamin' the earth....with GUNS...

    1. Randian   13 years ago

      If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were drunk all the time.

      As a matter of fact, I don't know better...

  9. Brian from Texas   13 years ago

    Reminds me of my parents' cat. He's orange and quite heavy around the belly too.

    1. Tim   13 years ago

      Does he support a cut in the capital gains tax?

      1. Brian from Texas   13 years ago

        I doubt it. His two biggest concerns seem to be sleeping and lots of cat treats.

        1. db   13 years ago

          Sounds more like OWS than a 1%er.

          1. AlmightyJB   13 years ago

            Ha:)

        2. Restoras   13 years ago

          So your cat is a welfare queen?

          1. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

            I put my cats to work - using little carts, they haul coal up from the mines underneath my mansion.

            1. AlmightyJB   13 years ago

              Dogs are better workers.

              1. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

                true - but they're busy getting shot by the police.

                1. Nyarlathotep   13 years ago

                  Or eaten by the POTUS.

          2. Ex Nihilo   13 years ago

            Aren't most cats? Or are they the 1%, with us as servants? I think the second.

            1. Zeb   13 years ago

              I'd agree. They are the 1% (god I hate that term). No one forces you to do anything for a cat.

  10. Formerly Almanian   13 years ago

    Also - the Ilitches are Bamster supporters? REALLY? I did not know this.

    I suppose the 1%ers line up behind whoever is the gummint teat provider o' the day.

    Fuck you, Ilitches. Your pizza sucks ASS. And I hope the Wings and Tigers defect to Montreal, ya cocksuckers.

    So there.

  11. sarcasmic   13 years ago

    Needs more labels.

  12. H. Reardon   13 years ago

    He feels our pain.
    Editorial Cartoons Are Stale, Simplistic, and Just Not Funny

    1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

      He feels our pain Payne.

      FTFY

  13. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

    The House of Payne is effect y'all! The House of Payne is in effect!

  14. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

    Also, fellow Reasonoids, I, of all people, have been nailed with the dreaded "Your comment contains a word that is too long (50 characters)", business.

    Apparently, the filter doesn't like nifty characters like the musical notes. Reason, I don't recall the gamboling idiots using HTML symbol codes!

    1. Randian   13 years ago

      Not only that, but we registered to fix the problem, and it has. Take down the PRIVation PRIVate property rules!

      1. SugarFree   13 years ago

        There is a war going on behind the scenes. It is getting pretty bad. That's the reason for the new problems.

        1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

          You can put the codes in like so ?_? as long as there is text on either side.

          1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

            Well that worked.

        2. db   13 years ago

          You make it sound so sexy. I hope you've got rights to the screenplay. Glad I'm not tangled up in whatever is going on.

        3. General Butt Naked   13 years ago

          There is a war going on behind the scenes. It is getting pretty bad. That's the reason for the new problems.

          What the hell does this mean.

          I've seen the psycho over at sloop and banjo's(by the way, nice job guys) place recently shittin' and pissing everywhere. How fucking crazy are some people? The mind, it boggles.

          I'm just mad that we'll never be able to do the donderooooo thing anymore.

          1. SugarFree   13 years ago

            I can go into specifics. And I'm not just saying that to be mysterious, I just don't know them. Suffice it to say the 50 character error and Invalid post stuff wasn't instituted for shits and giggles.

            1. SugarFree   13 years ago

              *can't* typing grumble

            2. General Butt Naked   13 years ago

              If I had to venture a guess, it would be that someone was trying to shit up the board with comments under the word limit, but using huge 'words'.

              Some people are just batshit insane. Could you even imagine being that obsessive? And all over something as stupid as an internet site where the commenters don't like you. Jesus.

              Again, boggled mind over here.

    2. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

      Apparently trying to put other HTML codes into the post gets the message "Your comment does not appear to be written in an English script. Please comment in English."

      And this after all the gnashing of teeth about immigration.

      1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

        This could cause problems for Apatheist since his handle has codes in it.

        1. db   13 years ago

          All i see on my android is some underscores after his name. On a regular browser i get the little monocle guy.

        2. ?   13 years ago

          Apathiest shouldn't have a problem.

          1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

            His handle has a "?_??" at the end.

            1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

              Sparky, you lovable doofus, I couldn't post musical note in the comment field, but I could use one as handle. Apathiest is fine.

              If I'm wrong you win a freebie colonoscopy.

              1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

                Well that's good to know. In that case I have a proposal. In honor of the new squirrely commenting system we should all change our handles to code based names. BRB

                1. $?? ???? Sparky   13 years ago

                  Test

            2. Apatheist ?_??   13 years ago

              I'm touched by everyone's concern for my handle.

      2. db   13 years ago

        Like which

        HTML

        codes? I dont seem to have a problem.

        1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

          Codes like "?" and such

          1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

            LOL, OK then. Stupid squirrel.

            1. Ex Nihilo   13 years ago

              SIC, the squirrels really hate you.

          2. db   13 years ago

            Oh, character codes. I dont use those.

  15. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

    How did that dog get an invitation for a cat?

  16. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago
    1. SugarFree   13 years ago

      Fascinating. Tell me less.

      1. Soc Indv Sparky   13 years ago

        That's what happens when you put a string of text in

        1. SugarFree   13 years ago

          So it posts blank rather than invalidating the post? Weird.

          1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

            So it posts blank rather

            That was the solution all along...

  17. Bee Tagger   13 years ago

    He's going to be even more pissed when he finds out how the Republicans want to use his food for healthcare.

    1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

      Lasagne?

      1. Bee Tagger   13 years ago

        Considering the rapid rise in diabetes amongst the poor and the Republicans desire to kill poor people, your comment makes a lot of sense. Once you fix the embarrassing typo, that is.

        1. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

          I hate Mondays.

    2. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

      Odd. I thought libertarian owned the market on feeding pet food to the elderly.

      I guess ObamneyCare will also be conscripting vets for medical care to cover all the euthanasia overflows.

  18. AlmightyJB   13 years ago

    The comments are funnier than the funny.

  19. Ice Nine   13 years ago

    Would've been funnier with a cat instead of a fox.

    1. SugarFree   13 years ago

      It looks like a dyspeptic bear to me.

      1. Groovus Maximus   13 years ago

        Ursist!

  20. Colin Fraizer   13 years ago

    At least he's not _eating_ them!

  21. NAR   13 years ago

    Hmmmm. The two most progressive presidents we've had, the ones who did the most to change the way we address income disparities and class, were Teddy and Franklin Roosevelt. Both of whom were fat cats.

    In fact, the majority of our founders would have been considered "fat cats" when the country was new, and what they were trying to do was remove power from the ultimate fat cats -- British royalty -- and give it to the people.

    America is different in that there has always been an upper class that recognizes their privilege comes as a result of not only their own good and hard work, but also the general populace and workers who make it possible.

  22. Longtorso   13 years ago

    Funnier

  23. Joe M   13 years ago

    No.

  24. rangomooo   13 years ago

    Those guys really jsut dont have a clue man, None.

    http://www.Anon-Data.tk

    1. Bucky   13 years ago

      i wish you would jsut stop spamming...

  25. Timrek   13 years ago

    This is Pulitzer level funny! Or at least it would be if it fawned all over the awesomeness that is OBAMA.

  26. Paul.   13 years ago

    A+

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