Brickbat: Don't Stand So Close to Me


Ryan Blackmon, an eighth-grader at North Carolina's Bladenboro Middle School, says he was very relieved when a teacher broke up an impending fight with another student. He thanked her and tried to hug her. Officials suspended Blackmon for violating a ban on hugging teachers.

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  1. Blackmon?


  2. any time you wonder what is wrong with children, just look at the adults who make the rules for them.

  3. Okay, can anyone come up with a plausible account of what the hell they were thinking when they made hugging teachers a punishable offense for kids?

    1. Hugging a teacher leads to affection for the teacher. As the kid grows up he thinks it is normal to have affection for teachers. This leads to sex with teachers; and this must never happen.

      1. Uh oh – BUSTED! My wife’s a teacher, and we have three kids….I believe all of them are mine.

        Don’t tell the Superintendent!

    2. The “kid” in question is an 8TH-GRADE MALE. The rule protects teachers from sexual harassment.


      1. Probably a very affectionate, effeminate, 8th grade male student.

    3. I’d think that it would be a punishable offense for teachers to hug students, if anything. Which woudl still be stupid.

    4. Fear of a lawsuit for molesting the kids.

  4. Someone tell me which is the one I’m supposed to be more upset about: the school for suspending a kid for hugging a teacher in gratitude, or the parents for filing a police report about a mark on the kid’s arm?

    1. Someone tell me which is the one I’m supposed to be more upset about: the school for suspending a kid for hugging a teacher in gratitude, or the parents for filing a police report about a mark on the kid’s arm?

      If there’s any chance at all that a police report/assault charges could end this teacher’s career, then I say they should do it. Teachers like this are a danger to children, and should be kept as far away from them as possible.

  5. That actually does make a whole lot of sense.

    1. Gotta disagree with you on this one, Anon

  6. True story: I knew one of those hot blond teachers who has a wild sex-romp with a student (he was a HS senior). She continued the relationship after his graduation and found a job in another town, and so it never became a scandal.

    When I asked her WTF? How’d you begin a potentially career-ending stupid spiral like this? She said it all began when he hugged her in class one day.

    1. Hugs – gateway to pedophilia and sex addiction. There oughta be a law.

      1. And prostitution rings. And crack. Don’t forget those.

        1. There was a sad and tragic ending. Teacher got endometriosis and stopped putting out.

          1. Clearly America is in desperate need for a War on Hugs.

    2. After she explained how it all started did you give her a hug?

  7. A million years ago when I went to public highschool it was obvious to me then that I was attending a ‘education camp’ designed to pound conformity and obedience into us.

    1. That’s one of the reasons I’m saving like there’s no tomorrow. If I ever have kids, they’re going to a private school.

      1. If there would be no tomorrow, wouldn’t you want to spend rather than save…?

  8. One of my teachers was a bro among the seniors, and female students hugged him a lot, too.

    I wonder how many underage hoez he bent over the small desk in the janitor’s closet back then.

    1. ->bunk.

  9. a ban on hugging teachers

    I’m surprised that enough students were trying to hug their brainwasher overlords teachers that they would feel the need to ban it.

  10. The article says the kid’s parents are going to file a police report because the teacher left bruises on the kid’s arm when she snatched him up. If possible, they should file assault charges against her. If there’s any chance at all they could hit her with a criminal record and end her teaching career, that’s the best way to go.

  11. Hey, we’ve got to follow the rules, no matter what. If we don’t anarchy will result. And you know what that means.


    2. Somaliaaa!!!

      1. Roadzzzzzz!

  12. I got into an argument with someone over the function of the Federal Department of Education. She told me one of the Department’s roles was to ensure the civil rights of students. I was left gobsmacked. Ensure the civil rights of students? Sure, that’s why administrators aren’t prosecuted and fired for spying on kids on the internet. That’s why zero tolerance policies suspend kids for having over the counter medication on them. That’s why there are so many security checkpoints, metal detectors and drug raids on school grounds. Thank you, U.S. Department of Education, for ensuring the civil rights of students.

    1. How are the students supposed to learn what their rights are without having them thoroughly violated first?

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