Friday Funnies

Obamacare Goes Before the Supremes


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  1. Okay, I laughed.

    1. But not at this, right?

  2. Ho…ho…ho… Green Giant

  3. What the fuck does the Colonel know about health care?


    1. It’s finger lickin’ good … unless you’re a proctologist.

      1. Now I may be just be a simple country Hyper-Chicken, but I know when we’re finger licked.

        1. “I myself am growing from the torso of an inbred simpleton.”

        2. +1 for Futurama reference

  4. Chaz Bono is bewildered by the two strangely differing styles of illustration in a single cartoon.

  5. Good God. Even Chip Bok would know to draw the Supremes correctly as glamorous black chicks

    1. Fer realz.

      I google-imaged Diana Ross and in nary a pic did her face look like a white penis with eyes.

      1. Oh, come on, you know enough pop culture to know there’s no such thing as a white penis!

        1. Wanna bet?

          1. In Lorena Bobbitt’s trial there were two statements in testimony that taken together show why she was so mad: She cut off 2/3 his penis. It was reattached to a 1 inch stump.

            1. Well, erect length is poorly correlated to flaccid length, and you can bet it was flaccid when reattached.

    2. ?”Reflections of…The way life used to be…Reflections of…The loot you took from me!”?

  6. Frankenstein’s monster was gentle until he and everything he loved was attacked.

    That said about the metaphor, ObamaCare would have been much simpler had we gone with a single payer system for all similar to Medicare. Not only much simpler than ObamaCare, but more simple (and cheaper, and more effective) than our current system where the uninsured get emergency room care without paying and the sick get priced out of insurance. The end result of that system is that the sick wind up without insurance, and we wind up paying for their care much more than we would have if everyone were in the pool.

    1. What the hell, man?

      Friday Funnies is supposed to be a place where people of all race, creeds, and religions can get together and rag on Payne’s lack of artistic and comedic talent.

      But noooooo, Mr. Singlepayer is here to preach to us. Jeeze dude, relax about the damn emergency rooms already, fuck.

    2. Ummm…have you taken a look at the financial viability of Medicare lately?Let me guess, you’ll lose on every patient, but you’ll make it up on volume?

    3. If you look at the numbers, the cheapest solution is just to pay for the emergency room mooches.

  7. I have an idea. Like Garfield without Garfield we take all of the words of the Friday Funnies. Then it becomes a more existential experience and much more satisfying.

    Having said this, this week’s entry is not the worst there have been.

    1. Take OUT all of the words from the Friday Funnies. Sorry, not even 6 am here.

  8. ?”Here comes the Payne again…dropping on my head all these tradgedies…ripping out my eyes with the poorly drawn ones”?

    1. ?Draw some bullshit for me / Ooh, in the name of love / Draw some bullshit for me / C’mon, fire me up / Draw some bullshit for me / Oh, I can get enough ?

      1. ?”Payne’s so fine…He draws a line…and the humor seems to disappear…all of the punch lines, all of the cheers…and the humor never re-appears”?

        1. I see where you get your moniker. Well done.

  9. Hilarious.

  10. Remember this?

    “Like a dutiful citizen, she called police, who seized the money and reportedly told her she would get it back if no one claimed it in 60 days. But when that time period passed, she said police told her she still couldn’t get the money because it was part of a drug investigation. Apparently it didn’t pass the sniff test, because police said the money had a strong odor of marijuana.

    Knutson filed a lawsuit in Clay County District Court, claiming the cash is rightfully hers.

    On Thursday, her attorney, Craig Richie, said the County Attorney’s Office and the Moorhead Police Department had agreed to let her keep all the money.”…..t-customer

    1. Why did she give the cash to the police in the first place? That is not a sign of integrity; rather, it is a sign of cowardice and / or stupidity.

      1. But when that time period passed, she said police told her she still couldn’t get the money because fuck you, that’s why. it was part of a drug investigation.

        1. I’m surprised they didn’t just tell her somebody claimed it.


          “Can’t tell you, ma’am. Privacy concerns.”

          1. I can’t remember the context, but it’s been said that Orwell vastly overestimated the competence of the police state.

      2. Agree, Libertymike – someone knowingly and willingly gave you a wad of cash – why the fuck would you then hand it over to the police?

      3. So paying your taxes is a sign of cowardice and/or stupidity.


        1. Umm, she didn’t try to pay taxes on it, she handed it over to the cops.

          If you got a $12k bonus on yer next paycheck would you contact the police? She’s a waitress, her income is tips, someone tried to give her a ‘bonus’ and she called the cops; sounds pretty stupid to me.

          I know of some servers working in my town that had Rush (king of the rednecks) Limbaugh’s table and he dropped them a $10k tip on like a $1k bill. Needlessly to say they didn’t call the cops in to investigate.

          1. Sounds like he didn’t tip like a redneck.

            1. It was only $10K in value. The actually tip was in possum.

        2. No, paying your taxes is pragmatic, like giving up your wallet instead of trying to wrestle the gun away from a mugger.

          1. There will be a time when uttering something like “paying your taxes is pragmatic” will get you a trip to the ovens.

            1. So you’re the libertarian David Brin now?

            2. For a slice of nice, warm, fresh, homemade bread??!!

              Yes, please!

              Wait, what…

              1. So, what do you with all of Caesar’s helpers?

                If they renounce their sheeplehood, they will be spared. If they don’t, do they not remain an existential threat to liberty?

                They’d be given a chance to Uplift themselves.

                1. So it’s the Auto-da-fe then?

                  1. What you oughtn’t to do but you do anyway? Sounds right.

      4. She might have thought the money was stolen, belonged to the mafia or a set-up, either a sting operation or a reality TV stunt.

    2. Thank you. That’s good news.

    3. Wow, be still my beating taste buds!

      The piggly wigglies actually did the right thing! Does this mean somewhere an angel had it’s wings ripped off?

    4. Yeah, they figured $12k is a drop in a bucket compared to the bad publicity. Not that bad publicity has stopped the police from behaving badly much before.

      1. Of course, the woman could be a good person with a good soul who acted with the best of intentions.

        However, Catniss Everdine she ain’t.

      2. She filed a lawsuit, the police knew they were going to be humiliated.

    5. Nothing good ever happens when you get the police (or any government officials) involved.

      1. It’s like going to the zoning office to tell them you’re planning on doing over the kitchen. Hell yeah you need permits…

    6. I think we can say this qualifies as a Rosie Jones.


  12. “Medically sound”? Is Obamacare a new drug? What does medical soundness have to do with the Supreme Court cases anyway?

    1. What does Henry Payne have to do with funny?

      1. The (very) few times Payne has managed to stumble over the funny, I am convinced such situations were entirely and purely coincidental.

    2. Did you read the book, “The Modern Prometheus?”

      1. Was I the only one who read that book who was totally on the doctor’s side the whole time?

        1. When I read the book the first time, I was. Fast forward a few years later, not so much; almost a 180.

          Today, I think they are both orange-blue morality scumbags.

          The one redeemable quality in both was the deep vein of self-preservation and ownership.

  13. Finally a cartoon with enough labels for a change.

    1. sarc, do you think that we are closer to a Hunger Games way of life today or were we closer 50 years ago?

      1. Don’t know enough about Hunger Games (nor do I care to) to answer.

        1. If you had said yes, such an answer would be in conflict with the general meme “we are better off today than we were 50 years ago”.

          In my view, the answer is irrefutably yes. That we are so much closer to a Hunger Games reality today must be factored into the analysis of whehter we are, in fact, better off today than 50 years ago.

          1. 50 years ago something like 50% of the population of this country was employed in food production, and today it is closer to 2%.

            Or, to put it another way, 50 years ago something like 50% of the population was free to produce things other than food, and today it is closer to 98%.

            So no, I do not think we are closer to a Hunger Games reality today when compared to 50 years ago.

            1. You would have to go back much further than 50 years ago to when 50% of the populace was involved in food production.

              100 years ago, you and I could exit the US and not have to produce a passport or worry about obtaining or renewing a passport due to unpaid income taxes or unfiled income tax returns.

              Hey, even 25 years ago, you could have foreign bank accounts and other financial instruments outside of the US and you did not have to worry about the state knowing about your loot; you certainly were not required to report each account with account number, the locus of each account along with amounts.

              Up until 15-20 years ago, if you wanted to make a living as a financial planner, you did not have to obtain a license to do so.

              1. None of those things you mention, while true, have any bearing on the production and availability of food today relative to 50 years ago.

                Enjoy your red herring. I prefer sardines.

              2. How about the prevalence of zero tolerance laws? Surely, you cannot deny that they have just mushroomed in the last 25-30 years.

                The proliferation of such zero tolerance laws have unquestionably brought us closer to a Hunger Games reality.

                How about Homeland Security? Its reach is far more evident today than it was 50 years ago.

                The airports?

                The roadways?

                The schools?

                1. *yawn*

                2. sarc, I too prefer sardines.

                  But you are missing the point.

                  Its not about the percentage of people involved in food production – that is the red herrring.

                  Its about whether we are closer to a Big Brother / 1984 / totalitarian reality today than we were 50 or 100 years ago.

                  I am somewhat surprised by your take given that you have made it clear in various and sundry threads that you do not think that there are many Catniss Everdine’s (she’s the hero /protagonist who defies Caesar in the Hunger Games) in our midst.

                    1. The guy on top had more freedom and a higher standard of living.

                      You seem to conflate advanced electronic gadgetry with more liberty and a better standard of living.

                    2. How does the guy on the top have a higher standard of living?

                      I remember the 80s. I have a much higher standard of living today.
                      True I do not have as much liberty and economic freedom, but that is not the sole measure of standard of living.

                    3. Today I have access to a much larger array of goods and services than in the 80s, for relatively less labor on my part.

                      I consider that to be an increased standard of living.

                    4. I never said that the sole barometer of standard of living is liberty and economic freedom.

                      But, if they are not a prime factor in the analysis, how can any other measurement be accorded any credibility?

                      Also, I do find your take interesting in light of the fact that you are far more pessismistic than most here as to whether a John Galt or a Ben Richards will come along and save the day for liberty.

                    5. But, if they are not a prime factor in the analysis, how can any other measurement be accorded any credibility?

                      I think that they are, for now, outweighed by other aspects.

                      That’s my opinion.

                      The end.

                    6. What about the credits?

                      And the outtakes?

  14. Why is ObamaCare about to masterbate in a courtroom?

    1. “Handjob” was jerkin’ off 8 times a day. Started jerkin’ off in the shrink’s office – instant Section 8. He was just waiting for the paperwork to go through and he would have been headed home…

  15. “And who’s brain did you use?”
    “Abby… something”
    “Abby what?”
    “Abby Normal. Yes, that’s it”

  16. BTW, that guy on the right looks nothing like Gene Wilder.

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