A.M. Links: The FDA Is Out of Control, 98 Delegates Up for Grabs in Today's Primaries, George Zimmerman Will Surrender if Charged


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  1. YOU CAN’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT. I’m a registered user.

    1. Yes I can, cos I’m a registered user too, bitch

      1. All registered users are equal. But some are more equal than others.

      2. Dude, she’s Australian. I wouldn’t mess around with someone from a nation of hardened criminals.

    1. She is still here. See puppet master below. She is biding her time figuring out how to shit on the board again.

      1. Registration is fascist bullshit.

    1. Sure, pick on the diabetic for his gut.

    1. This is actually the most exculpatory information that has surfaced for Zimmerman so far, IMO.

      I don’t find it as persuasive as the Daily Caller does.

      The call does imply that Zimmerman had lost sight of Martin. But the fact that it shows that Zimmerman stayed out of his car and kept walking around for the entire length of time the Caller talks about indicates that he was looking for Martin. And after the call ends, he found him.

    1. Renounce your sins, heretic, or its the auto de fe for you!

      1. Auto de fe? What’s the auto de fe?

            1. Come on, you do it. We all do it. You do it…

            2. It’s what you oughtn’t to do, but you do it, anyway?

    2. Bailey bait.

    3. Sea level rise likely started over 200 years ago.


    4. Is that the same thing as saying that the oceans stopped cooling 135 years ago?

    5. Right on schedule for the next data rigging scandal.

      1. No, no. 135 years ago was about the time when coal engines got widespread use in the US and Europe. The planet is even more sensitive than we thought!!1! to CO2. You’ll never make a living as a climate scientist.

        1. But, wait a minute, I thought all of the unfiltered particulates in the atmosphere had a cooling effect, no? So wouldn’t the primitive coal-burning engines contribute to cooling, not warming?

          1. This is why you need to give me a $7M/5 year grant to study this and publish results consistent with whatever the trend is then.

  2. Dubious donations illustrated

    Another reader reports that he was able to make a donation to the 2012 Obama campaign as Usama bin Laden (Address: “6 feetunder Drive, Islamabad, DC”) without any credit card verification. He writes: “The irony is that when I tried to make a contribution for $1, I received an error that the donation must be at least $2.” Our reader received an email from the Obama campaign thanking Usama for the contribution. He has forwarded us screen shots of the transaction, including the one below. I didn’t quite catch Mr. bin Laden’s occupation (gravemaker) in the screenshot, but you get the idea.

  3. The activist group behind the “Kony 2012” movement and Web video that went viral in March says it will release “Kony 2012, Part II” on Tuesday.

    Yeah, we’ve all seen it. Too much wiener.

    1. Wait, they got Anthony Weiner involved?

      1. I’m pretty sure he’s holding out for a CNN talk show gig.

        1. Wake Up with Wiener

          1. Or maybe MSNBC will decide to have him replace the aging Chris Matthews on Hardball.

          2. “This morning, Wiener gets in your face with another hard hitting, up close look at penises.”

            1. Why do you have to be so hard-on the poor guy?

          3. The Weiner/Spitz Morning Hour, with Ellito Spitzer and Anthony Weiner?

            1. Better to have an opposing viewpoint show alongside John Boehner.

      2. The Spitz & Swallow Show?

  4. GSA chief resigns following excessive spending claims

    The head of the General Services Administration resigned from her post Monday, and two other officials were fired amid an investigation into excessive spending at a 2010 training conference that featured a clown, a comedian and mindreader, Federal News Radio reports.

    1. …a 2010 training conference that featured a clown, a comedian and mindreader…

      Why are they upset that Obama and a couple of his staff showed up?

    2. only one clown?

      1. More than one clown can get you marked as a terrorist organization.

    3. Shouldn’t the mind reader have warned him?

      1. Shouldn’t the mind reader have warned him?

        A mind reader at a government conference? I hope he enjoyed the quiet time.

        1. That’s probably the main reason he went. That’s the only way a mind reader would be able to get some quiet time.

    4. Doesn’t Obama pretty regularly do more or less the same thing? Or does putting it on TV make it OK?

  5. ‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful

    She’s a 7/10, I’d have thought, but only on the school run

    1. Uh, whoa. She’s not even a 7 in the South, unless the camera takes two points from her.

      1. One of the most thoroughly attractive women I know always looks like absolute crap in photographs, so you never know. Some people do photograph poorly.

    2. It’s the UK. They have an entirely different scale.

      1. I think they give her a couple points for the straight white teeth.

        1. I think that factor alone makes them think that she’s an angel, the sort of creature they’ve only heard of in rumors from deep space pilots.

      2. It’s called the metric system.

      3. best looking British girls I’ve seen were all in Hammer movies… though I have a weak spot for Felicity Kendall of Good Neighbors fame.

        1. The girl from Sherlock who plays Irene Adler is not too shabby.

      4. I do like the fact that the people who Brits put on TV look like regular people, and not silicone stick people.

        1. Someone hasn’t seen TOWIE.

    3. 7/10? Is that metric aestetics?

      Over here, she’s barely a five.

      1. OK, so maybe a bottle of Andre then.

    4. Yeech. She must look better IRL or something.

    5. It’s kinda like Spinal Tap, except in reverse.

      1. can’t decide if satire, or butthurt.

        1. She makes a joke about Suicide Girls, so I’ll assume satire.

    6. more like 7 drinks needed before any interest.

    7. I think you are being generous. She is at best a five. Wherever she lives that she is considered so pretty other women hate her, I don’t ever want to go there.

      1. Wherever she lives that she is considered so pretty other women hate her

        It’s called The United Kingdom.

        1. I believe it was Trevanian who wrote that the prettiest women you’ll ever meet are the ones you encounter directly after leaving Britain.

        2. But the UK also gave us Kathryn Zeta Jones, Kate Winslet and that chick with the incredible ass at the last royal wedding. So it is not all bad.

          1. that’s still a low batting average.

          2. Celebrity exceptions that prove the rule.

            Trust me – went to a wedding a few years back where 99% of the attendees were Brits. I looked like a friggin supermodel.

            1. Hmmm… now, how to use this to my advantage?

              1. I have it on good authority all british women are frigid and all british men are absolutely terrible in bed.

            2. heh – when I was a younger man, I took a trip to Chicago to visit my best friend. I’m standing outside a restaurant, waiting for the rest of the group to come out. I get cat-called by a car filled with girls. And then checked out by a few passing women. I’m thinking, WTF, this never happens in Michigan. But tall blonde guys are dime-a-dozen here – but elsewhere, why I was a special snowflake. *sniff*

            3. Actually having been to most of Northern Europe, I really like German women. They are very down to earth. And they usually have really great bodies.

              1. Deutsche Frauen, deutsche Treue,
                Deutscher Wein und deutscher Sang.
                Sollen in der Welt behalten
                Ihren alten sch?nen Klang,
                Uns zu edler Tat begeistern
                Unser ganzes Leben lang.
                Deutsche Frauen, deutsche Treue,
                Deutscher Wein und deutscher Sang!

                Saz nothing about bodies, but it does tell you that Germans used to be fun loving people!

                1. They still are. You try to take over the world a couple of times and it is like you are marked for life or something.

        3. Think you need to exclude Ireland.

    8. She may have been pretty once, but the aging process is a hell of a thing.

      1. I’ve seen uglies with better wedding pictures. If you can’t add a point in a wedding gown with professional hair and makeup, you’re either an 11 or a 5.

      2. She is still attractive. There is nothing wrong with her. Lots of women in their 40s are nice looking. It is just that the idea that anyone could think she is so pretty that women hate her is laughable.

        1. Nice to see you back, John. But weird to see your name in black. Finally gave up on the aol address?

          1. It hasn’t worked in years anyway. I only stopped posting my real one after Joe from Lowell started stalking me. I am not kidding. So I put an old dead one up.

            1. Maybe Mary Stack is Joe.

              BTW, registration is fascist bullshit.

            2. And here I just assumed this whole time that you were some smart but really technologically out of touch old guy. Just goes to show you shouldn’t judge a person by their aol email address?

        2. Now this! This is classic John!

          I’m really glad to see you back, John.

          It is weird to see your name in black. From what I understand, you have been attracting Unobtanium levels of crazy.

          1. I really have. And thank you.

    9. That article must be an April Fool’s joke – how in the hell would she be considered ‘too pretty’?

    10. Butterface.

    11. *barf*

    12. Hey, I did say “on the school run”, where her competition is lumbering slatterns in tracky daks, employing what the Brits call Croydon facelifts as their main beauty secret

      1. I’m not sure I want to know what any of that means…

      2. You’ve lapsed into Ozlish, what are ‘tracky daks’?

      3. Sorry, I keep forgetting to curb the Australianisms.

        Re tracky daks, I think you would call them sweat pants. We call them track pants, as the bottom half of a track suit. Daks is a colloquialism for pants, hence tracky daks.

        Croydon facelift is hair pulled into a very tight ponytail.

        1. No worries, luv. Just need a reference every once in a while.

        2. God, Australia, use real words!


        3. I’ve recently discovered Housos and Swift & Shift. That is some truly funny television y’all have down under.

        4. I had completely forgotten “daks” as a word for trousers.

          I used to talk ‘strylyun like a native but after nearly fifty years away I forgotten nearly all of it. It’s not just the accent it’s all the vernacular.

          In Australia I’m just another bloody Seppo tourist, but in America I’m constantly asked how I like living here?

    13. She might be attractive at closing time.

    14. I’m pretty sure she’s ugly in England too.

    15. she’s not even as pretty as Cameron Diaz, who I do not think is that pretty. 5.5

      1. On the other hand, Cameron Diaz is very popular in Europe so… de gustibus, I guess.

      2. Cameron Diaz has bad skin that is now apparent since we all have HD TV’s, but back before HD (and when she was young) she was incredible.

        If you can watch The Mask and not think Cameron Diaz is hot in it, you’re something less than straight. NTTAWWT, but you really gotta start being honest with yourself.

    16. Egad. 3/10. There is nothing exceptional there at all.

    17. ‘Good looking woman’: But Samantha Brick says that her pleasing looks have been a mixed blessing[…]

      Self-absorbed hag accuses world of not deserving her.

      “Oh, I’m simply too beautiful for the peasants!”

    18. Why am I not surprised that her french husband looks like a date rapist?

  6. Vote SugarFree
    An Immoderate Man For Moderate Times

    And you shall know me by the trail of the banned…

    1. Are we supposed to report trolls under the “See something, say something” ruleset now?

    2. Meh, you sound too much like Obama.

    3. “In your dotage, give SugarFree your dotage!”

    4. I can’t consider voting for you until you name a running mate. Your health is a concern, quite frankly.

      1. Are you self-nominating? “Trolls Get The Fist” is a pretty good slogan.

        1. You don’t want me as your vice moderator, believe me. I subscribe to the Klingon school of thought on ladder climbing.

          1. Hard times call for hard men. With your Fist at my side, no one can defeat us.

            1. Then together we shall feast on the hearts of our enemies.


              1. Dicks…

              2. Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam! Today is a good day to die!

                1. It’s not a libertarian chatroom until someone posts in Klingon.

    5. A vote for SugarFree is a vote against Mexican Coke.

      Why do you hate the Mexicans, SF?

      1. Sugar for thee, and not for me. I accept all faiths into the fold.

        1. What about the Splenda folk? It is my understanding that they are nothing but a cult..

    6. I voted for Kodos?

    7. are you going to introduce some TSA-style vetting of commentaters?

      1. I will only touch you in the most special of places: Your heart.

        1. eww!

        2. Watch your pancreas folks! He knows that only a steady supply of your precious organs will keep human mortality at bay!

          If you feel SugarFree in your heart, it’s already too late for you, I’m afraid. Take no chances with him. Shoot first!

          1. Lies, ever more lies. Your pancreas is safe with me, I know the value of them. Who knows what organ JW plans to steal…

            1. Pickle smuggler?

          2. Hey, just thankful you called our organs “precious”.

            I needed that.

    8. I think you’ve got the ellipses on the wrong side.

      1. I would like to assure everyone that hipster band fans will be welcome in a SFMOD situation.

        1. Appreciated!

    9. My friends, don’t be fooled by my opponents display of flagrant spendthriftness as proof of his bonafides as a libertarian. I’ll have you know that no slave labor was used to produce that fancy sign of his! He even buys off the rack!

      I can assure you that all of my monocles are solid platinum and my top hats are made from the finest of kid hide, and I don’t mean goats, folks.

      Vote JW for your Moderator. Your vaulted money piles depend on it!

      1. You’ve promised me a pony, and the bad man has offered to give me good touch. The next bribe might just swing my vote

        1. Not only will you receive ponies and free ice cream, but I can promise our good Aussie friends to our south certified anti-dingo spray to keep your babies safe.

      2. Go ahead, throw your vote away on a pretty boy airhead. Where was this JW during the White Indian crisis? Where was this JW went joe was defeated? or Lonewacko? or Dan T.? or the 2nd infection of Dan T.?

        I have come through the storm with you. I stand stronger for it.

        1. My opponent likes ot pretend that only he stands between you and the troll abyss, but not only was I here during all of our trials of endurance, I was here while he was passed out in diabetic comas from his daily chocolate orgies! In fact, under his drunken watch, SugarFree was the one to leave the gate unlocked that allowed the trolls and grifers to enter our humble community!

          He creates the problem and then claims to be the solution. Call me callous, but that sounds more like a creature that starts with a “D’ and ends with “rat.”

          Hit & Run today. Hit & Run tomorrow. Hit & Run forever!

          1. diabetic comas from his daily chocolate orgies

            The bad man has chocolate too?

            1. The bad man has chocolate too?

              Yes, but he’ll share none of it with you. In fact, he’ll take yours to get it!

              Worst of all, it’s that cheap Hershey’s slag that he hoards, not the good stuff.

          2. I don’t have to stand for this, I have Etiquette and his Mighty Fist on my side now! What do you have? A prolapsed Warty and the stink of defeat.


            1. A prolapsed Warty is worth 10 withered pancreases and rusty Fists!

              That reek of failure you smell is only your own guilt from allowing these invaders in to our innocent hamlet.

        2. Wait a minute. Does this mean anonbot will be filtered out?

          BTW, registration is fascist bullshit.

          1. Alas, worry not. Comrade anon-bot has prevailed over the iron fisted squirrel dictators.

    10. Remember folks: SugarFree only writes about raping babies. The other commentators live out their sick fantasies.

  7. Ex Parte Obama

    It is the aspersions the President cast on the Supreme Court, though, that take the cake. We speak of the libel about the court being an “unelected group of people” who might “somehow overturn a duly constituted and passed law.” This libel was dealt with more than two centuries ago in the newspaper column known as 78 Federalist and written by Alexander Hamilton. It is the essay in which Hamilton, a big proponent of federal power, famously described the Court as “the weakest of the three departments of power.” It argued that the people could never be endangered by the court ? so long as the judiciary “remains truly distinct from both the legislature and the Executive.”

    1. So, I’m thinking Obamacare got voted down this weekend.

      1. But only because of the right-wing ‘partisans’ on the court. Not like the truly objective members who respect the rule of law, like Kagan.

        1. I’ve still got Kagan in the pool of down votes. I think she’s just venal and egotistical enough to want the coveted ‘above politics’ moniker. Sometimes you’ve got to be extra cynical. The first layer isn’t deep enough.

          1. But what if Roberts and Kennedy decide to go “above politics” too?

            They could uphold the mandate as a tax on the uninsured, and avoid sticky issues about the Commerce Clause.

            Instant Statesmanship!

  8. Another Kony 2012 video comes out today.

    Unless Sandra Fluke calls Kony a slut, I don’t think they’re taking back the news cycle any time soon.

    1. At this point I think George Zimmerman would have shoot Kony while spouting racail slurs for them to get back into the new cycle.

  9. Trayvon Martin – Is Everything You Think You Know Just Media BS?

    To be fair, I am not even sure the Times editors themselves are aware of the level of BS they have been propagating. If their goal is to correct the record and report a bit more responsibly going forward, maybe we will see those corrections appended in the next few days. I should provide a link to the NY Times Public Apologist for anyone who wants to waste their breath.

    In the meantime, I welcome other examples of egregious misreporting that have gone quietly uncorrected. A personal fave was the lefty buzzpoint that the Sanford police never took Zimmerman’s gun. Even Mother Jones blew the whistle on that, eventually. Others?

    1. 46 calls over 8 years is still a high number, dude.

      My number of 911 calls over the last 8 years? 0.

      1. 1. You are not a neighborhood watch guy.

        2. You don’t live in the same place.

        Maybe it is high. Maybe it is not. The number doesn’t say much by itself. And even if he is a loon who calls 911 every time someone lets their dog off a leash, who cares? Says nothing one way or another about the case at hand.

        1. And even if he is a loon who calls 911 every time someone lets their dog off a leash, who cares? Says nothing one way or another about the case at hand.

          The blogger in the link seems to think it’s a big deal.

          I would tend to agree with you that it’s not really directly relevant. If we stretch, we could say that it’s indirectly relevant. You could argue that it would be exculpatory, since Zimmerman called 911 a bunch of other times, and never shot anyone. OR you could say it tends to show that Zimmerman was pissed off that he called 911 46 times and nobody ever got caught, so for this occasion he decided to escalate his action. But either one is a definite stretch.

          1. it doesn’t say anything. All that matters is what happened leading up to him shooting the guy. Absent evidence Zimmerman ran around bragging about his hope to some day shoot a black kid, I really couldn’t care less about his past or Martin’s for that matter.

            1. Perhaps some genius in the media could follow up on those approximately 6 and a half calls per year and find out if there were real crimes associated with the calls.

      2. Ive made one 911 call in my life, back in the mid 90s. It is turned out to be unnecessary.

        1. I called 911 after the non-emergency operator refused the burglary report.
          911 operator gave me a “lawful order” sic to stay out of the house in case burglar was still there. I informed her I was calling FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!1! I told her I’d check for intruders again and if found I’d call back for the meat wagon. She suggested I not hold a firearm when the officer arrived in 45 minutes.

      3. I called 911 a couple times when I lived in Hollywood. Cops never showed up. So, in retrospect I lucked out.

      4. one call – for a dumb punk rock kid who decided to slice his wrists at his GF’s house. He wasn’t deeply cut, but I’m no medical expert, so we called 911.

        The police show up. The kid tries to flee (while bleeding all over the place). In the front yard, the cops ended up using nightsticks on him! Ah, compassion. Then the cops start questioning me, pretty much asking if I’m the one who cut the kid up.

        1. that’s taking suicide by cop to the ridiculous. Imagine the headline: Cops thwart suicide attempt by beating man to death.

          1. Unlike suicide, getting beaten to death isn’t a crime. They would have been saving him from a life of prison!

          2. +1.

        2. They were testing his will to live. He passed, for the time being.

        3. A couple years ago, when we lived in an apartment building in Brooklyn, EMS/NYFD/NYPD all showed up claiming a 911 call was made from the super’s apartment. I assured them that was impossible as the super was working at his day job and he used his mobile exclusively and did not have telephone service in the apartment. While I was calling the super, NYFD knocked down his door, breaking the frame, door, an interior mirror, and damaging 2 interior walls. When they found that apartment was indeed unoccupied, they just left. No note, no effort to secure the apartment, nothing. When I asked the NYPD on scene what the super might do about repair/restitution, I was told “If that was your mother who called 911, you would want us to do this. Now, get back in your apartment before I take you in for obstruction.” I am now very reticent to call 911 for anything.

          1. I am now very reticent to call 911 for anything.

            Seriously, why would anyone want to summon the storm troopers to their presence? Seems quite insane to me.

            1. When your liver is sliced nearly in two by a burglar, it’s a lesser of two evils kind of thing.

        4. I’ve never had to call 911. I’ve called the Seattle non-emergency police line twice. Once was to report a car across the street who’s alarm had been going off constantly for two hours. They showed up to tow it away in about 20 minutes.

          The second time was to report some teenagers who threw a rather large rock at me from a car. I only had a gash on my hand but thought I should report it in case they were throwing rocks at every pedestrian. A courtesy squad car patrol showed up in 7 minutes. They did not put the boots to me, medium style!

      5. I called 911 once when I witnessed a hit and run and managed to get the license plate of the car that fled the scene. It took them over an hour to finally get to the scene and talk to me. When seconds count, the police are only minutes away!

      6. “My number of 911 calls over the last 8 years? 0.”

        I call abouty 6 to 8 times a year.

        BTW, registration is fascist bullshit.

        1. I don’t think you know what “fascist” means.

      7. I only called 911 when I was managing a bar. After doing it once, I started calling the local PD across the street directly, as 911 calls put you on a list if you’re a bar. Of course, that didn’t help when drunk morons called 911.

      8. I have called twice in my life. One was a domestic occurring in the apartment above mine. I waited to buzz the cops into the building, then I took off for Kings Dominion. No idea how it turned out, but I never heard any more bullshit from above. BTW, the cops were there in minutes – DC cops, no less.

        Second was when the ex was having a seizure in my house. No cops, just EMS. They did look askance at the bong on the side table, but no storm troopers ever showed up at my house after the fact, so I guess the EMTs didn’t squeal. They got there pretty quickly after the 911 system finally sorted out that I was in Fairfax County, not Alexandria City.

        Only saw the ex again after that to give him his clothes & stuff (the seizure was due to him being a fucking drunk, lest you think I abandoned some poor epileptic bastard), so no more seizure-related calls.

        1. No cops, just EMS.

          A cop always comes when my 90 year old mother calls 911 when her ticker flutters (about six times a year).

          I think it has something to do with a Florida law on domestic abuse or something. They’re really obsessed with it here.

          1. I think it has something to do with a Florida law on domestic abuse or something.

            Yeah, every time you call 911, the cops come and abuse you.

            1. Good one. 🙂

              Seriously, though, I don’t know if it’s just Winter Park PD policy or if it is state law.

              It also occured to me once that it might be for the possible protection of the paramedics. Maybe they’ve had trouble in the past.

  10. How many CIA agents does it take to change a lightbulb in a black site in Poland? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…..93385.html

    None, it’s a black site.


    2. Even former President Lech Walesa, the iconic democracy fighter, said he is “against torture … but this is war and war has its particular rules.”

      I wish I spoke enough Polish to be able to say fuck you Leszek, right in the ear

  11. Greece to complete anti-migrant wall ‘very shortly’

    Greece has said it will quickly finish construction of a controversial wall designed to keep out migrants, claiming that the thousands of people coming into the country each year threaten “social peace.”

    “The construction will begin very shortly and will also be completely very shortly,” the country’s citizen protection minister Micalis Chrisochoidis said during a visit to Brussels on Monday (2 April).

    The three-metre-high barrier is to block a 12.5km-long strip of land between Turkey and Greece. The rest of the border between the two countries is formed by the Evros river.

    1. Didn’t they try this about 3000 years ago in Athens?

        1. Huh… TIL.

        2. Did the Greeks ever consider, you know, building their cities on the waterfront? Seems a much simpler solution.

          1. The Acropolis is definitely a piece of territory you wouldn’t want your enemy to have if you had a port city.

            1. Yeah, Greece has a lot of high ground, which you don’t want to leave unoccupied. But the city states did usually have associated ports (Piraeus for Athens, for example).

      1. And it worked for a good while. If they’d had antibiotics, it might’ve worked completely.

        1. for a good book on the Peloponnesian War, I enjoyed Victor Davis Hanson’s.

          1. A good read. It inspired me to read Donald Kagan’s book on that conflict. Fascinating stuff.

    2. In the old days, the gypsies would just roll into town and steal your children. Now, they roll into town and steal all your tax dollars.

    3. Greece has said it will quickly finish construction of a controversial wall designed to keep out migrants

      Are there really that many people still trying to get into Greece? Seems like it’s more likely just a big public works project.

  12. George Zimmerman will surrender if charged.

    That’s kind of a “dog bites man” story isn’t it? It would be much more newsworthy if Zimmerman said that if he was charged he would go on a cross-country killing spree.

    1. Yeah, I’m not sure why that merited a coveted “AM Lynx” slot.

  13. Obama and the Eisenhower Standard
    When crafting foreign policy, the late president didn’t ‘give a damn how the election goes.’

    1. It’s disturbing to see the author beating the war drums so loudly for Syria. Pause on Syria is hardly the worst criticism I have of Obama.

      1. You just don’t care about the innocent Malaysians – oops, I meant Syrians, Malaysia is next year.

    2. It’s easy not to give a damn how the election goes when you know you’re going to win by a landslide regardless.

  14. Nancy-Ann DeParle, the whip-smart and sometimes caustic White House deputy chief of staff, picked up The Wall Street Journal one summer day in 2010 and got an unwelcome shock. The Food and Drug Administration was proposing as part of the new health care law to require that movie theaters post calorie counts for popcorn ? and this was the first she had heard of it.

    And that’s the first and last time anyone from the White House read any details of what going into the bill before signing it.

    1. This lady makes way too much sense. She’s destined to be shunted aside for a yes man at the next opportunity.

    2. “Whip-smart” and “caustic” are obviously gendered terms. Would they have mentioned that a man was “whip-smart” or “caustic”?!

      1. And has it occurred to you that the term “whip-smart” invokes images of slavery and is therefore racist?

        Just like the term “master’s degree.”

  15. “Why I’m O.K. with ‘Pink Slime’ in Ground Beef”

    This is not an April Fool’s Day joke. I agree with Texas Gov. Rick Perry on something ? the nutritional merits of derided “pink slime” ? the processed last scrapings of meat and connective tissue after cattle are butchered. Dude, it is indeed beef ? a source of low-fat nutrition.


      I can’t believe idiots still believe fat is bad.

      1. I like some curves on ’em, too. Nice big backside?

        Hell yeah!

        1. Don’t tell sarcasmic that.

          1. More classic John!

      2. I’ve been eating “Taubes” style for the past 3 months. Love it! Fat energy feels so much smoother (and long lasting) than carbs.

        1. The only thing that bothers me is the fact that I’m seeing things saying “primal” everywhere. Why must the way I’ve always liked to eat suddenly become trendy?

          1. Im in ur suprmarkit takin over ur fud.

          2. Don’t worry, in six months meat and fat will be evil again. There’s more money in starting a fad than actual healthful diets.

            1. There’s more money in starting a fad than actual healthful diets.

              Winnah winnah chicken dinnah!

            2. I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.

        2. Cyclical ketogenic diet + olympic lifting FTW

      3. It is bad!*

        *If it is from industrial seed oils

      4. I still don’t want ground beef that is more than 10-15% fat for the most part.

        And isn’t the fat on corn fed beef not the best for you?

    2. I was talking to my boss who has done all sorts of process analysis on pretty much every industrial chemical and he was okay with it. He likened it to pressed soup bone shreds. And we both agree that a little ammonia is preferable to random e coli strains.

    3. Is there any evidence whatsoever that “pink slime” has any negative health effects, or is it just icky sounding?

      1. None. It’s cow meat and connective tissue. About as dangerous as gnawing the last bit of meat off a steak bone.

      2. needs better marketing –

        er, Pink Nutrient Supplement – now with extra flavor.

        1. Slurm Beef?.

      3. Mmmm, Pink Drink (TM)

  16. Four out of six of those headlines look like they were written by Captain Obvious.

    1. Duh

  17. More funeral cartel shenanigans.

    Alternative method of disposal for human remains stopped after Ohio’s Board of Funeral Directors petitions judge. New bill in OH to legalize the process.


    1. Wasn’t that on Breaking Bad?

      1. On the show, they used hydrofloric acid, but it’s the same idea.

        1. Hydrofluoric acid would attack the bones too. Alkaline hydrolysis leaves a dry bone residue behind.

          1. With alkaljne hydrolysis you could be processed into biodiesel or even further refined into gasoline. Or taking it even further, into methane. Dare we say, burial by fart in a jar?

  18. Glenn Reynolds: Faith in science?
    Why skepticism is rising

    In fact, given that Americans have grown broadly more skeptical of institutions in general, it’s not surprising that conservatives are more skeptical of scientific institutions than they were almost 40 years ago. What’s surprising is that liberals have grown less skeptical over the same period. (Perhaps because scientific institutions have been telling them things they want to hear?)

    Regardless, while one should trust science as a method ? honestly done, science remains the best way at getting to the truth on a wide range of factual matters ? there’s no particular reason why one should trust scientists and especially no particular reason why one should trust the people running scientific institutions, who often aren’t scientists themselves.

  19. SCOTUS rules 5-4 in favor of strip searches on all minor infractions.


    1. I don’t think that’s what the SCOTUS ruled.

  20. http://www.talkleft.com/story/2012/4/3/03733/45115

    Very interesting article on the reliability and admissibility of the voice biometric system being trotted out by the media as proof it wasn’t Zimmerman screaming on the 911 tape.

    Always good to see a defense lawyer actually care about facts and law rather than the politics of the case.

  21. Oakland gunman who killed seven nursing school students has psychological problems.

    Good thing Oakland has such restrictive gun laws!

    1. You mean good thing for the killer, right?

      1. Well, that only happened because the laws weren’t restrictive enough. /leftard

    2. He angly ‘cos dey make fun of his Engrish!

  22. Humor: More offers we can’t refuse

    It’s mind boggling the number of buying decisions we have to make each year. So how great would it be to just turn our household budgets over to the federal government? I mean, those people deal with trillion-dollar budgets each year.

    Well, they actually haven’t passed a budget in years ? but with all the experience they have attempting to deal responsibly with trillions, they should be able to manage our measly incomes pretty easily.

    Then we’d be free from all those oppressive buying decisions. What would be the alternative ? that we’re each responsible for our own lives and get to decide how to spend our own money without government interference?

  23. Proposition 209, passed by voters over 15 years ago, has prompted fierce debate for years in California. Opponents said it narrowed opportunities for women and minorities to succeed in the state.

    I suppose that might be true, in that it would narrow the opportunities down to par with eveyone not in a protected class.

    1. Right.

      I found it a little funny that they would offer as evidence opposing the initiative statistics proving the initiative was necessary.

      If minority enrollment went down once affirmative action became illegal, that demonstrates that affirmative action was racially discriminatory.

      1. The idea that maybe minorities are somehow failing and not victims is never to be entertained. Of course it is perfectly well known that men are falling behind women because they are no good man boys who refuse to take responsibility and grow up.

        1. Hey, don’t stop that trend. I’m gonna be knee deep in successful women in another 10 years.

        2. And thus, you give me a chance to publish my favorite Jezebel quote of all time:

          I read a newspaper article, here in Melbourne, that basically said that university degrees were no longer to be thought of anything prestigious or aspirational … the male writer noted that to get a high paying job (as a male) an associate degree or less was adequate.

          … just when women became the majority of students at universities… suddenly degrees aren’t worth shit… quelle surprise. Everytime we try, the bastards move the goal posts.

  24. Reasonable no longer functions.

    1. Dont know about incif. No one in my file has posted yet.

      1. And I was wrong, it does work. Shrike posted above.

    2. I see most of the reasonable functionality, except for the most useful, such as the handy dandy link and quote tools.

      1. I’m not getting the last 5 comments link

        1. Uninstall and reinstall worked for me.

        2. Amakudari was on an earlier thread saying there is a new version to handle the site changes. I guess if you download the new version everything should work.

        3. Amakudari was on an earlier thread saying there is a new version to handle the site changes. I guess if you download the new version everything should work.

          1. Server squirrels just signed in.

      2. I’m not sure what’s happening unless I can get an error log. The easiest way to do that is to right-click on this page, click Inspect Element, then click Console, then expand and copy and paste everything into a bug report. If you use GitHub, use this, and if you have a Google account, use this.

        The solution that seems to have worked for others is to uninstall then reinstall, and maybe restart Chrome. The latter shouldn’t help, so I’m thinking it’s something else. Also, make sure your current version is 2.0.4.

  25. http://www.zerohedge.com/news/…..bankruptcy

    World’s Largest Solar Plant, With Second Largest Ever Department of Energy Loan Guarantee, Files For Bankruptcy

    1. An isolated case, I’m sure. A mere coincidence.

    2. Can’t wait for the 2nd term when the Obama administration starts loaning money to build flying cars and jetpacks — the other two parts of the sci-fi trifecta.

      1. don’t joke! I want my hoverboards!

        1. I’m holding out for a Mister Fusion myself.

      2. HA!

        Two flying cars and NO Obama money:

        PAL-V flying car makes successful first test flight

        With the PAL-V last appearing on our pages way back in 2004, you’d be forgiven for thinking that this is just another flying car concept that never made it off the ground. But Dutch company PAL-V Europe NV has been busy in the past seven years having finalized the design concept in 2008 and testing a driving prototype in 2009. Now the flying-driving prototype has been put through its paces with video of the PAL-V’s recent successful maiden flight now released.


    3. And nothing else happened.

    4. John, there are more of these out there waiting to happen and they are not just in the energy industry. I know of one company with a $300+ million green loan that built a facility that has almost no market for its product. I think the only thing keeping it going is more loans, which will eventually dry up.

      1. I have no doubt.

    5. And yet Obama and his administration are the cure for Bush “making us look stupid to the rest of the world”, according to a pro-Obama friend.

      1. I would rather have Rodney Dangerfield, ala Caddyshack, for prez.

  26. I thought our local Jezebelles might have some fun with this:

    The Women’s Media Center’s Media Guide to Gender Neutral Coverage of Women Candidates + Politicians

    A sample:

    Use gendered terms such as
    “feisty,” “spirited,” “opinionated”
    ? UNLESS your outlet would use
    them on a male candidate.

    Gendered terms suck as “opinionated”…

    1. Er… such as opinionated.

    2. This puzzled me:

      Said to Women

      Said to Men

      I only use cunt for men. Slightly OT, I used “cunt” at a party in front of a woman I had only just met. She put her drink down, looked straight at me, and complimented me on using it properly. I later referred to her fiance as a fat cunt with a beard, with no ill effects

      1. You’re Australian. “Cunt” is a lot more incendiary here than it is in the Commonwealth countries.

        1. Shut up, cunt.

    3. As James Taranto said in Best of thew Web, it should be The People’s Media Center’s Media Guide to Gender Neutral Coverage of People Candidates + Politicians

  27. You know, now that we’re all registered LIKE GOOD LITTLE SHEEP, why aren’t we getting all the other benefits of membership? We should be able to edit our comments. When we say something and someone points out in reply how stupid we are, we should be able to retroactively make the other person look stupid with a rewrite!


    1. Pffft, you’re stupid.

    2. Edited comments are evil.

      And they are promising benefits when the new site rolls out…this was clearly a rush job.

      The word I had heard earlier was “June”.

      1. But will we ever get the flash tag back?

        1. I think it’s more special because they were so fleeting. I didn’t even get to post that day. I think I did something lame like went to class.

      2. “Edited comments are evil.”

        Yep. Anyone not arguing in good faith can just go back and change what they wrote.

        1. I like the idea of temporarily editable comments. Have some like, you can edit for the first 3 minutes or maybe until someone responds to it.

          1. If we’d had that I could have fixed my previous post to say “Have some rule like”

        2. That would keep Tony busy.

    3. and win prizes just for reading!

    4. Hyperthreading? Crap, we’d end up with comments folded up into those extra tiny dimensions that string theorists dream about. Sort of a Glory Road-esque comment trunk that wouldd explode the internet if it ever got unstable.

      1. Fortune favors the bold.

        Also, no pain, no gain.

  28. I don’t feel tardy.

  29. I’m gonna miss STEVE SMITH. Maybe Reason could allow us to keep him around?

    1. STEVE lives. His handle has been claimed and is in a safe place.

      1. “…Near, far, wherever you are
        I believe that the heart does go on
        Once more you open the door
        And you’re here in my heart
        And my heart will go on and on

        You’re here, there’s nothing I fear
        And I know that my heart will go on
        We’ll stay forever this way
        You are safe in my heart
        And my heart will go on and on”

      2. There needs to be a separate button to let people post as Tony, since that handle fell into the public domain many years ago.

    2. I felt so special getting an invite from the reason-heads. Almost like getting an embossed, handwritten invitation 🙂

  30. Wow. Its like the good old days in here. Actual conversations and shit. Although I miss MNG. He needs to get in here so he and John can have a 100 comment argument where they’re saying the same thing by the end. Then it will be a perfect day in reasonland.

    1. No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.
      No it won’t.
      YES, it will.

      1. “I’m here for an arguement, please.”

        “No, you are not.”

    2. It’s like a Pushme-Pullyou that we all have to ride.

      Has MNG weighed in on Team Trayvon or Team Zimmerman yet? That could get hot pretty quickly…

      1. He’s on Team Trayvon, but only out of concern for the memory of a poor black kid.

      2. Only on H&R can you find a perfect Doctor Doolittle reference.

  31. George Zimmerman will surrender if charged.

    Which looks more and more like he will not be, as the analysis on the available evidence shows that he was attacked by Martin despite the fact he was already retreating.

    I now concede that Zimmerman acted in self-defense legitimately. I was wrong, but I am in a sense glad I was wrong, because the guy is clearly innocent of murder.

    1. I hate lynch mob mentality. But I really can’t find any sympathy for either Zimmerman or Martin. I think it is very likely Martin got pissed at being confronted and attacked Zimmerman. If either one of them had had an ounce of self control, this whole thing never would have happened.

    2. but you’re assuming the priests of the church of the aggrieved and offended care about facts. This is not going to end well. Look for some of the same stupidity that followed the verdict in the first Rodney King cops trial.

      1. hopefully it will just peter out and go nowhere without a “trigger” to set griefer-bots off.

        A trial and an acquittal could inflame ’em further.

    3. I’m still going to wait until more official info is released. Seems like there is still a lot of speculation circulating that has not been very well confirmed.

    4. I still don’t see how you can draw any conclusion, whether it “favors” Zimmerman or “favors” Martin.

      1. I too am waiting to see the final evidence. However, the more evidence that comes out, the more this looks like Duke Lacrosse redux: a media overreaction based upon pure speculation, circumstantial evidence and perception based upon who seized the media narrative first.

    5. the analysis on the available evidence shows that he was attacked by Martin despite the fact he was already retreating.

      I am not aware of any evidence not supplied by Zimmerman himself (who has changed his story, I believe) to that effect.

      1. Has he changed his story or has the media changed how they’ve reported it? I’m betting the latter, since they’ve been so absurdly irresponsible in their reporting so far.

        And moreover, if he’s changed his story, wouldn’t that give the police/DA plenty of reason to arrest and bring charges? The fact that they haven’t despite the public outcry indicates they really have no grounds to bring charges.

  32. Registration will help us weed out the bad stuff while keeping comment threads as lively and wide-open as possible.

    Good riddance, White Imbecile!

    Ha ha!

  33. So how do you do a one-off joke handle post once you’ve logged in as yourself (as someone said somewhere is still possible)?

    1. No more joking off.

      1. DON’T COME IN HERE!

        I suggest when we create a login for, say, Barack Obama or Mitt Romney, we then share the login information with the group so others can use it post hilarious presidential spoofs. (And also to flame each other.)

    2. You just sign out and sign back in, as it will ask you who you are posting as in the update screen. Change your handle there.

      1. Well, yeah. I assumed from what was said however that there was an easy way.

        This will pretty much kill one-off spoofs, which are one of the great pleasures of playing here. Tragic. As long as my scroll down key was functioning I never could manage to get myself in the dither over Rather that so many here did. With this though I now officially hate her too.

      2. So wouldn’t that allow regular spoofing too?

        1. Sure. Until they freeze your account at the email level (which I assume is the unique identifier).

      3. I don’t think you need to log out. When you’re replying/adding a comment it says

        You are currently logged in as [Username]. Not you? Sign out.

        If you click on your Username you go to the settings screen.


            1. Or maybe not.

    3. *barf*

    4. Or you make the joke as yourself.

      I’m willing to give up a little sugar to get away from havin’ to eat the Mary, Quite Contrary/WI crap sandwich every weekend.

      1. Uh, that’s a little tough to make work when the joke depends on the joke handle.


          1. If it’s any consolation, Cat’s Cradle contains no cats.

            1. His pores looked as big as craters on the moon. His ears and nostrils were stuffed with hair. Cigar smoke made him smell like the mouth of Hell. So close up, my father was the ugliest thing I had ever seen. I dream about it all the time.

              “And then he sang. ‘Rockabye catsy, in the tree top’; he sang, ‘when the wind blows, the cray-dull will rock. If the bough breaks, the cray-dull will fall. Down will come craydull, catsy and all.’

              “I burst into tears. I jumped up and I ran out of the house as fast as I could go.

              “I have to sign off here. It’s after two in the morning. My roommate just woke up and complained about the noise from the typewriter.

              I expect a retraction and a groveling apology.

              1. I figured some incredibly idle soul would immediately do that. Nonetheless, show me a cat and you got it.

                1. Pffft, I didn’t immediately do it.

                  Here you go.

                  There’s also this quote which I always thought was great: “My soul seemed as foul as smoke from burning cat fur.”

                  Later on he writes: “And, when I started to ask Dr. Breed questions about the day of the bomb, I found that the public-relations centers of my brain had been suffocated by booze and burning cat fur.”

                  1. A cat – still waiting.

                    The link was great though. LOL

                    Incidentally, how/where did you search the entire text (which I presume is what you did) of a minor novel like CC? I would like to have access to that resource.

                    1. I have an illegal digital text copy along with a legal dead tree copy so it was pretty easy.

              2. Wow. I just realized how sick “Rockabye Baby” is.

    5. Meh. I could do without the spoofs. For the occasional funny one, it’s not worth all the bullshit.

    6. Chrome. Incognito mode. It doesn’t retain any cookies from your current session, so you can log in as someone else.

      It may work with other non-sucky browsers, but I haven’t tried.

  34. Wonder I I never thought about that before. It makes a lot of sense man.



    2. How in the hell does the spammer get a post, but my response to said post gets flagged as third party spam?

  35. RIP P Brooks

    1. ???

      Was he a sock puppet?

  36. Alec Baldwin is a liberal ass, but I have to admit I like him anyway.

    I hope this new wife isn’t crazy like his last one.


    1. I think he is a good actor. I thought he was a much better Jack Ryan than Harrison Ford. I don’t care if he is a communist. I am sorry to see his movie career go down hill because he is better than most.

    2. Hilaria is a weird and awesome name. And she’s a yoga instructor, but then I believe that 72% of all hot girls are yoga instructors at this point.

      1. Yes. I now prefer the yoga studio to the strip club. Cheaper and you see hotter women leaving nearly as little to the imagination.

      2. And Yoga allegedly started as a sex cult. And Yoga gave us Yoga pants. All and all, Yoga is one of the better products of civilization.

        1. LOL!

          I read that as “Yoda allegedly started a sex cult.”

          For a few moments I was simultaneously repulsed and intrigued.

          1. Scen from Star Whores

            Lube Guyballer: “I’m not afraid.”

            Yodick: “You will be. You WILL BE.”

      3. I would not be able to stop myself from responding to everything she said by archly saying, “That’s hiLARious!”

        1. I admit that I would have that problem too, and she would eventually stab me in the throat with a broken vodka bottle.

        2. If I am ever a undivorced widower, I am going to join the Catholic Church and become a priest just so I can some day be Pope and take the name

          Pope Hilarius II


        3. The rules only say adult male Catholic. Also, if you’re an Episcopalian priest and convert you can keep the wife and be a priest. BTW popes for the first 1,000 years mostly were married. One was even father to another

          1. IIANM, Anglican and Episcopal priests who convert and become Catholic priests can never become bishops.

            Since the Pope is the Bishop of Rome they couldn’t be elevated even if the rules are “adult male Catholic”.

    3. You’ve faired me for the rast time Arec Barrwin!!!!!

      1. Spoofing’s not that hard.

  37. NYC finds out that people like yoga, acts accordingly.

    “The New York Department of Taxation and Finance decided that yoga studios fall into a category of businesses — specifically weight control or health salons — that must pay the city’s levy, officials said.”

  38. Help, I just discovered that if you click the filter button, select “content”, but then leave the space blank, it doesn’t read that as “filter nothing”. It treats the blank space as a wildcard and filters EVERYTHING.

    How do you remove filters in Reasonable, when the filter is a blank space?

    1. I found it. A blank line was inserted into the regex filter box.

      1. Yeah, maybe I’ll think about how to deal with fat-fingering filters later. The solution’s pretty easy for removing them, but it’s understandably jarring.

        1. Now it says (blank), FWIW.

  39. It’s like someone stole my identity! Nah – it’s just an anonotag.

  40. A person dressed in woman’s clothing was killed near Woodward and McNichols in a neighborhood residents say is plagued with prostitution.

    A person? Why not just say a man?


    1. REAL men don’t wear women’s clothing. Even if they’re tranny hookers. Wait…

    2. Actually sounds like a Works project:

      “There will be giant piles of condoms in the street,” she said. “You have to scoop them up with shovels.”

    3. I live to suck cock.

      1. I never doubted that for a moment.

      2. Screw you for stealing MNG’s handle.

      3. I hope they block your IP address and give the real MNG another invite.

    4. I think it’s because they don’t know which it was, since the neighborhood has both male and female hookers.

  41. Congratulations Reason on finally moving your website into the early 21st century! It’s about time.

    No more God damn appropriation of other peoples’ usernames, thank goodness. It was getting hard to tell the real psychopath Shrike from the imitation psychopath Shrikes.

    1. I don’t know. I could be wrong but it looks to me like a number of regulars have already had their handles hijacked.

  42. Character limit has been raised to 1500. Long live H&R.

    1. Hopefully a way to highlight new posts comes soon too.

      1. Yeah, that would be the shit, especially if it crossed threads (major blog posts, not the threaded comments themselves).

  43. Also, not to steal sloopy’s thunder, but all hail Pro Lib, winner of the bracket pick ’em and sloopy’s next wife.

  44. sloopy’s next wife.

    I have to grant Pro’L Dib a no-fault divorce first.

  45. Testing

    1. The Bold don’t “test!” They charge in, guns blazing!

  46. Hai guiz what’s goin’ on?

  47. This registration thing sucks, it’s bad enough Mary got me in trouble at school.

  48. This registration thing sucks, it’s bad enough I had to spend two hours with the god damned compliance police because Mary is a narc.

  49. This registration thing sucks, it’s bad enough I had to spend two hours with the god damned compliance police because Mary is a narc.

    1. Hi Mary. Everyone knows when it is you.


      Massive failure, Mary. Being crazy is no excuse for being this stupid.

    3. ” heller” !== “heller”
      /^.+heller|heller+.$/.test(” heller”) === true // filtered
      /^.+heller|heller+.$/.test(“heller”) === false // not filtered

      I don’t normally address trolls, but when I do, it’s to point out a fucking massive fail.

      1. They need to trim the strings, though. It’s too easy of a loophole for our incredibly stupid friend.

  50. Trolling in AZ can land you in jail

    They see me trollin’; they hatin’. Controllin’. They try to catch me writin’ dirty.

  51. He said Van Jone’s near.

  52. Do you think O’shithead will remember to remind the 9th circuit court that they are “unelected” and they are not to tamper with legislature/legislation?

    We’re so lucky our President is a constitutional scholar.

  53. 400th!

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