New Oil Sanctions Against Iran A Go, Paul Ryan Endorses Mitt Romney, Burmese Elections May Not be Very Free: P.M. Links

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  1. “He earned it.” Paul Ryan endorses Mitt Romney.

    By being inevitable.

  2. Dr. Robert Lustig, a pediatric endocrinologist at the University of California, believes the high amount of sugar in the American diet, much of it in processed foods, is killing us.

    Do we really want a bunch of people hanging around longer than 70 years? Even if they aren’t the sugar-engorged fatties we’re currently saddled with, who wants that?

    1. Do we really want a bunch of people hanging around longer than 70 years?

      Yes. Yes we do. We need ’em to take care of all the Alzheimer and autism victims.

    2. That doesn’t apply to SugarFree, right?

  3. Sugar is going to kill us all, says pediatrician.

    And we want to normalize relations with Cuba?!

  4. More RCMP professionalism as Mountie uses his service firearm to shoot his house up.

    At least he’s facing charges.

    1. Well, it is hard to claim the house was at fault or threatened him first.

      1. What about ghosts?

  5. Sugar is going to kill us all, says pediatrician.

    Not all. When the rest of us are dead from heart disease and diabeetus, the Sugarfree shall inherit the earth.

    1. What am I, chopped liver?

    2. The Walking Jed?

    3. I’m glad I won’t be alive to see that living hell.

      1. Eat all the Cadbury Cr?me Eggs you can now, because after the end, the living will envy the dead.

        1. Also, everyone knows eggs don’t keep.

        2. The monday after Easter, I fall on those things like a velociraptor.

        3. In the spirit of the season… XKCD measuring the amount of sugar in things using the Cadbury Egg ass a measurement.

    4. The sugar is going to kill him first. Someone will throw it on him like holy water on a vampire.

  6. Mittens hasn’t earned shit. I could be the inevitable nominee, too, if I have 10 years to prep for it.

    I give Paul Ryan some small amount of respect for trying, in a small and limited way, to do something to solve the problem. But the rest of the time, he’s just another TEAM shill.

    1. He deserved to be the nominee because he’s electable. How do we know he’s electable? Because he’s the nominee.

      1. I mean, if Santorum were the nominee because he was a favorite of a plurality of primary voters, I still don’t believe people would be under the illusion that he was electable.

  7. Burma’s imminent elections do not impressive the country’s most famous dissident.

    Impressive – now a verb.

    1. I am disappoint.

      1. You and me both, man.

  8. Come on, just one link to pink slime.

    1. The girl band, that is.

  9. LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Virgin Group founder Richard Branson, involved in such ventures as selling space travel to the affluent, is now pushing for people to have the freedom to get high here on Earth without risking going to jail.

    Punny lede to the article. Can’t get enough of those. Although, to be honest, a take on “Virgin” would have hit it out the park. “The mention of Virgin Group brings to mind recreationally breaking the bonds of Earth if not breaking hymens, but founder Richard Branson wants people to be free to explore a different kind of outer space with legal recreational drugs here on the ground.” Yeah, that’s a home run.

    1. I still don’t know why Reason hasn’t hired you to ghost-write.

  10. So even though the US economy is on the brink, in part due to high energy prices the US will continue to cut off a major supply of oil from Iran because of a supposed nuclear weapons program that the US intelligence agencies say does not exist nor any evidence of even a decision by the Iranians to start a nuclear weapon program.

    Talk about shooting yourself in the foot, or is another new war in the Middle East going to be the next bubble that will prop up the economy for a little longer, or are they just crazy in Washington?

    1. That last one there, the crazy. I’d roll with that if I were you.

    2. War is the health of the state, don’t forget.

      1. So total war means total health?

      2. Hey boss, if the war is the health, then how come it so sick, eh? /Chico

        1. He said “state”. Key word there. The county DC and the surrounding FedGov cities reside is the richest in the country. I’d say all these wars (foreign and domestic) are working for them.

    3. I think B.O. is trying to prove that even Kim Jong-Il is more electable than Mitt.

  11. A relative who is a pretty down-the-line conservative, thinks that the Jeb Bush, Rubio, and Ryan endorsements indicate that Santorum and Gingrich should “gracefully withdraw, rather than drag it out needlessly with fantasies about convention floor battles where they miraculously win.”

    As a Paul supporter, I’m torn. Would their dropping out give Paul a better chance, or is it to late to hope for anything other than convention hijinks?

    1. It would have to depend on who they endorsed. If Santorum dropped out and endorsed Gingrich, and Gingrich refused to endorse but said some nice things about Paul, maybe.

      If Santorum dropped out and told his voters to go for Paul (highly unlikely) because he’s pro-life, maybe.

      If either endorse Romney, probably not.

  12. And, for your comedic pleasure, I hereby announce that Olbermann is out at Current TV, replaced by Eliot Spitzer effectve tonight.

    1. Tee hee. Here’s the story, from MSNBC of all places.

      1. Keith needs to start using his platform to rally the Democrats to legislation banning all discrimination again Asshole-Americans.

      2. To the Viewers of Current:

        Fixed.

        1. Plural “viewers”?

          1. You think Gore doesn’t have a family?

            1. I wonder if he has to strap Tipper to a chair for that…

    2. The only way I would watch Spitzer is if he rated hookers. So I guess he’s a step up from Olbermann, because I can’t think of anything Olbermann could do to make me watch him.

      1. Pro L called that a while back.

      2. “I can’t think of anything Olbermann could do to make me watch him.”

        I would tune in to see him fight a Grizzly Bear.

    3. Of all the lefty douches in this country, Olbermann might the douchiest douche of them all. Even most of his fellow libs can’t stand the creep.

      Make room Wayne and Garth, Olberdouche is headed for your spot on Aurora Public Access TV.

      1. He’s the Bill O’Reilly of the left.

        1. Ann Coulter

      2. A sphincter says what?

  13. Reposting from yesterday, because it’s insane:

    SPLC investigates the War on Women:

    http://www.splcenter.org/get-i…..r-on-women

    Charges include: “being doggedly mean”, “practicing seduction techniques”, and “forswearing relationships and marriage”.

    1. Oh, and I almost forgot one of the other charges “committing suicide”.

    2. SPLC goes over PUAs? One could only hope!

      1. Oh, and thanks to the SPLC for speaking on my behalf. I’d be dead without your constant advocacy. Your press releases are much more useful than a handgun when I’m about to get the shit kicked out of me.

        1. I managed to read to the end of the article, where they cited an example of a man who was bipolar and hadn’t taken his meds.

          So their citations are the suicidal and the mentally ill. Nice ableism they’ve got going on there.

        2. I managed to read to the end of the article, where they cited an example of a man who was bipolar and hadn’t taken his meds.

          So their citations are the suicidal and the mentally ill. Nice ableism they’ve got going on there.

    3. LOL at them citing Amanduh Marcotte as a reputable source.

  14. This is… impressive:

    http://www.policeone.com/bizar…..atrol-car/

    1. It is unclear when the video was recorded.

      11/27/11 3:35AM

      1. Hey man, they’re cops. Cut them some slack. Numbers are hard. Especially addresses, for some reason. Though I suspect that they’re about to finally figure that one out in Indiana.

        http://www.policeone.com/Offic…..n-on-cops/

  15. Thanks to Mega Millions’ $640 million jackpot, a lot of people are buying lottery tickets, or they’re judging those that do so, or worst of all, they’re writing inane personal essays about buying a ticket just this once.

    You could of just linked to the thread from yesterday and covered all that.

  16. Sir Richard (Branson) is a bad-ass. Glad he’s weighing in on this issue, too.

    1. Sir Richard (Burton) was pretty cool, too.

    2. Sure, but who is more bad-ass than this guy

      http://www.bloodyelbow.com/201…..in-trouble

      The cage-fighting crime boss behind the ?53m Securitas heist has been moved to a high-security unit and stripped of prison luxuries. It comes after the Sunday Mirror revealed that Lee Murray, who is behind bars in Morocco on drugs charges, fathered a child behind bars.

      1. “who is more bad-ass than this guy”

        Anderson Silva. Who whipped his ass.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Murray#Mixed_martial_arts_record

  17. What you failed to mention is it’s national cleavage day.
    http://dailycaller.com/2012/03…..slideshow/

  18. BURLINGTON, Vt. ? President Obama could be caught in an election-year bind on gay marriage.

    It would have him wedged between the pressure of supporters who want him to back same-sex marriage and the political perils of igniting an explosive social issue in the midst of the campaign.

    Normally I would say any issue that distracts the public and Repukes from focusing attention on the state of the economy would be a plus for the Obama campaign. However, if his views on same-sex marriage “evolve” to publicly supporting it, the only people who are going to be motivated to the ballot box for him on that are people whose votes he already had.

  19. So I’m hangin with Gov Johnson. You got any questions you want me to lay on G? (I call him ” G” now).

    1. Ask him what’s up with the private prison thing. Maybe he might want to at least wait until the WoD is called off.

    2. Ask him if he’s considered getting Paul to use his convention clout to earn him a VP slot? There’s a pretty good track record for VPs named Johnson ascending to the presidency.

  20. If I win the lottery, I’m going to buy Micronesia and turn it into an awesome libertarian paradise. GDP there is $221m/yr, so maybe I can bribe the citizens to elect me dictator for $350m. I’ll be selling citizenship for $5000, so all I’ll need for ROI is for 70,000 libertarians to move there. Who’s in?

    1. G says he’s in

      1. Sweet!

        1. I’ll let Gary be my vice dictator.

    2. Bad news: the U.S. provides Micronesia’s defense.

      1. Dang!

      2. We could spin it as a way to reduce military spending without hurting our “readiness!”

    3. I want to be porn czar.

  21. Better dead than Red

  22. From the lotto criticism article:

    “The odds are crazy if you think about it,” said Romel Mostafa, a professor at the Ivey School of Business. “Especially the mega lotteries. It’s just nuts.”

    I’m sorry, that’s just fucking stupid. Your odds of winning the lotto don’t change based on the number of participants. The odds are calculated by a permutation, which means that the odds are the same regardless of how many tickets sell. Of course, there is a greater chance for two winning tickets to be sold if you consider the number of lotto tickets floating around, but that doesn’t impact your chances of actually having the winning ticket one fucking iota.

    How can a business school professor be so dumb?

    1. The odds aren’t crazy, the ROI is. Very rarely will the expected ROI for a lotto ticket be nearly face value due to the size of the prize.

      I’m no more likely to win this lottery than any other lottery, but the potential payout makes it more worthwhile to buy a ticket than any lottery ever.

      1. Ding! All that matters is the ROI not the odds.

      2. The odds aren’t crazy, the ROI is. Very rarely will the expected ROI for a lotto ticket be nearly face value due to the size of the prize.

        The ROI reaches positive territory for the Mega Millions once the jackpot reaches $144 million.

        1. Uh, no. If the odds are 144M:1, and the cash payout is 51% and the IRS will take 36% of that, the ROI breakeven against the odds is 3x144M = $432M, so yeah, buy a ticket.

    2. And I think he means “the odds are crazy bad” which is a totally true statement.

    3. 5 of 5 plus Mega Ball JACKPOT** 1 in 175,711,536

  23. “New oil sanctions against Iran are a go, says the White House. Iran will probably do something aggressive and unprovoked in response which is just so like them.”

    Ahmadinejad should do all his press conferences in a hoodie in protest.

  24. http://www.newamerica.net/even…..ities_burn

    Why?

    Because The Word hasn’t been given yet. Occutards act like they’re spontaneous, but they wait for the signal from those who enthralled them.

    If Barry doesn’t get re-elected, you can almost bet there will be violence.

  25. they’re writing inane personal essays about buying a ticket just this once.

    That article was actually worthwhile; it advised against making the lottery your retirement plan.

  26. How dare you look at information I purposely made publicly available!!! You Might not be cute!!! (this is like glitter cleavage writ large):

    http://gawker.com/5897891/supe…..e-on-a-map

  27. Feminists pissed that 18 year old women are allowed to make their own choices in Arkansas:

    http://jezebel.com/5897856/ark…..bangathons

    1. Feminists outraged that court-created right to sexual privacy – which they helped established – guarantees the right of adults they don’t like to have sex with each other.

      “The right to sexual privacy simply means the right to have gay sex and the right of teenage girls to get abortions without telling their parents,” said feminist spokeswoman Ms. Andry. “It doesn’t mean the right to have hetero sex. Yuck!”

      1. “Feminists outraged”

        Feature, not bug.

    2. Why weren’t the senior girls that horny when I was in high school?

      1. They were in *my* high school, thank god.

    3. Dudes. i brought up this decision p with my fellow bible belters here in Rogers. They were not pleased. It seem obvious to them that teacher and adult student should not engage in sex and that the use of criminal sanctions is a perfectly viable solution.

  28. T-short company accused of discrimination in Lexington, KY, after refusing to print up shirts for a Gay Pride event. Gay group may seek “compensatory damages”:

    “If you have other organizations using their services and they’ve made T-shirts for them, and this organization is not allowed and the only difference is sexual orientation, that could be problematic,” [Human Rights Commission Executive Director Raymond] Sexton said.

    Hands On Originals is subject to the law because it deals in goods and services to the public, Sexton said.

    http://www.kentucky.com/2012/0…..mpany.html

    1. Commerce clause. ‘Nuff said.

      1. TTTTTHHHHHHAAAAAASSSSHHHH!!!

    2. Oh, and if I ran a t-shirt (short?) company, I’d be on the phone in a ny-minute to the gay group. There’s business to be had there.
      Hell, I’d sell t-shirts to obamatrons.

    3. Compensatory damages? What, gas money to drive to a different tee shirt silk screener?

      1. And the phone charges!

    4. Gay dollars spends just as well as any other once you rub the glitter off.

  29. Dude, you gotta just love them bought and paid for politicians!

    http://www.Anon-Nets.tk

  30. All you do when you buy a lottery ticket is makes you odds not zero.

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