Step Away From That Cookie and Grab Some Air

Food police are prone to exaggeration.

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“It may be better to live under robber barons,” wrote C.S. Lewis, “than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep…but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” Now there was a fellow who knew a thing or two.

Lewis would not be surprised by a recent jeremiad in the journal Nature, arguing that sugar is just as bad for you as tobacco and alcohol, and we all ought to be forced to eat a lot less of it. The authors think it would be grand if the government slapped hefty taxes on foods with added sugar, and outlawed the sale of sugary drinks to minors, and kept sugary-drink-selling stores away from schools and any place inhabited by people who are poor and fat and therefore, presumably, stupid. (Wellâ€"“low-income areas plagued by obesity” is how the news stories put it. But we all know what they meant.)

Self-appointed food police have been pitching Twinkie taxes, soda taxes, and so on for years. And like advocates of every stripe, they are sometimes prone to exaggerating.

Last month researchers (including one at Virginia Tech) claimed slapping a penny-per-ounce tax on soft drinks would raise $13 billion in revenue, save $17 billion in health costs, and prevent (kid you not) 2,600 premature deaths a yearâ€"all because it would lead the average adult American to cut nine calories a day. Nine.

Meanwhile, the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has ginned up some good publicity by erecting a couple of anti-cheese billboards in Albany, New Yorkâ€"dairy country, that is. The billboards show a man’s fat gut and a woman’s hamhock thighs and say it’s all cheese’s fault.

The FDA, for its part, continues to move forward with plans to restrict salt. The agency started studying the issue five years ago. By last December it had published a proposal in the Federal Register seeking comments on “current and emerging approaches designed to promote sodium reduction.”

But the FDA will have to work faster if it wants to keep up with New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg. His administration already is spearheading a “nationwide effort to reduce salt in restaurant and packaged foods.” It also has banned trans-fats and smoking in bars, launched a P.R. campaign against occasional smoking, and is in the process of restricting alcohol sales and advertising in the city.

Bloomberg is doing this with the approval of his own conscience: As he said at a U.N. conference last fall, making “healthy solutions the default social option” is “ultimately government’s highest duty.” New York Sen. Chuck Schumer evidently agrees and wants to get in on the action. He has asked the FDA to review and possibly ban powdered caffeine. He’s worried a new product called AeroShot could become the next “club drug.” No word yet on Schumer’s thoughts about NoDoz or coffee.

As Lewis said, such paternalism “stings with intolerable insult.” It stings all the more because in some cases the government has exacerbated the very problem supposedly requiring redress. Take high-fructose corn syrup, which the Nature piece urges regulating more tightly and which is widely used as a sweetener in the U.S.

Why is it widely used? Blame Washington’s import quotas on foreign sugar â€" and its massive subsidies for corn. Corn is the run-away winner in the farm subsidy Olympics: The Environmental Working Group estimates Americans have shelled out nearly $80 billion in corn subsidies over the past decade and a half.

So first we’re forced to pay on the front end for the overproduction of corn, thereby encouraging the use of high fructose corn syrup, and now we’re supposed to pay again on the back end, through soda taxes and the like, to prevent ourselves from drinking too much of it. Brilliant.

This is not an isolated case, either. Recently the EPA imposed strict new smokestack regulations on power companies to reduce, among other things, the release of highly toxic mercury emissions from electricity generation. Wouldn’t want people to breathe  that, right? At the same time, new federal light bulb standards effectively have required consumers to purchase newer and more efficient compact fluorescent (CFL) bulbs.

And hey, guess what? The average CFL bulb contains about five milligrams of mercury. According to Scientific American, when a CFL breaks, “mercury escapes as a vapor that can be inhaled and as a fine powder that can settle into carpet and other textiles.” In fact, the hazard from CFLs is significant enough that when one breaks, a certain federal agency recommends (a) evacuating all people and pets from the area, (b) opening a window and airing the room out, (c) shutting off your central air system, and (d) collecting the debris and powder in a sealable glass container, since a plastic bag can’t contain the vapor.

Which agency offers those recommendations? The EPAâ€"the very same one that imposed the new smokestack emissions rules. Lewis would not be surpised by that, either.

A. Barton Hinkle is a columnist at the Richmond Times-Dispatch, where this article originally appeared.

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  1. As a secular classic liberal, I believe that most Americans are 9 calories per day away from eating themselves to death.

    1. As a secular classic liberal I would think you would be comfortable leaving each to his own fate.

    2. I would have thought that would be a good thing – population control and all that, you know.

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  2. the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has ginned up some good publicity by erecting a couple of anti-cheese billboards

    Now, just a doggone minute!

    1. The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese!

      1. I was merely going to say that I’m sure that the tobacco industry would consent to having these labels put on our product, if he will acknowledge the tragic role that his product is playing, by putting the same warning labels on these deadly chunks of solid, low-density lipoprotein that go by the name of Vermont cheddar cheese.

    2. Hier and hier.

      1. I notice PCRM.org has no contact info.
        I guess they took the link down after receiving 100,000 threats and insults via email.

    3. Osteoporosis for the win!

      1. Fuck osteoporosis. There are better calcium sources. But cheese is the entire basis for western civilization. I will not even contemplate the horror of life without cheese.

        1. There are better more efficient calcium sources

          more efficient sources sure, but none Better.

          1. Well, OK. You got me there.

            1. don’t take it too hard. here, have some cheese.

        2. I will not even contemplate the horror of life without cheese.

          On the whole, I agree, but I can contemplate life without either brie or limburger.

          1. I have to agree. I’m more of a British cheese sort of person than continental. The French can keep their rotten butter cheeses.

            1. the organic market has all sorts of mostly-solid, unripened, triple-cream thick, “bries”. It’s like eating creamcheese, but better.

              1. I knew it!

                wylie is French!!

                1. wylie is French!!

                  You crossed a line there.

                  Also, poulet roti.

              2. There is just something about brie in particular that really turns me off. Like almost to the point of gagging. And I like blue veined and other wierd cheese things (I think I will pass on the Italian maggot cheese, though).

          2. I would be tempted to go ninja on anyone that cut off my supply of le gruyere.

            1. A hot ham & gruyere sandwich is one of life’s better, simpler pleasures.

  3. they can have my cookies when they pry them out of my cold, dead, chubby fingers…

    1. ok fat cracker

      1. mmmmm, fat cracker.

        1. Nickname for pork rinds?

          1. They are called chitterlings

            1. They are called chitterlings

              skin != intestine

              that concludes today’s anatomy lesson.

              Also, fried chicken.

        1. Damn. Who are the other women?

          1. the designers of those two dresses (left and center, if that wasn’t obvious) are Master Cloth Engineers.

            As for the one on the right, she should consult the guys who built Hoover Dam.

            1. See, we still CAN do the big things!

          2. If I remember right, they’re the wives of the French and Italian Presidents.

            1. Europe: booze, food, and sexy wives.

              Economic nonsense be damned, I want in.

        2. She needs to choose more carefully: clothes and companions.

        3. I’d hit any of those three, at least doggystyle. Dunno what their faces look like.

          1. Two words…..light switch.

  4. the hazard from CFLs is significant enough that when one breaks, a certain federal agency recommends (a) evacuating all people and pets from the area, (b) opening a window and airing the room out, (c) shutting off your central air system, and (d) collecting the debris and powder in a sealable glass container

    Are mercury thermometers still legal?

    1. If you break one in a public school, they call in a hazmat response team from a certified contractor.

      It’s a damn gold mine for those with the certifications.

      1. Shake it down real good.

    2. Yes, we used them in my college chem lab.

      We didn’t have to call in hazmat for the clean up though.

    3. Still legal I think, but there is very little risk of breaking one compared to a CFL bulb. Much thicker glass.

  5. Sugar really is pretty bad for you, but perhaps the government would be better served analyzing the role that their campaigning against fat had in so many products now having so much sugar in them.

    1. Too much sugar is bad for you, sure.

      1. But if you’re not completely against sugar then you are advocating candy-coated, triple chocolate, sugar excess.

        1. Apparently. Is honey bad, too? Are we talking all sugars here, or just refined ones?

          1. I think organic honey might be alright.

            1. Bee shouldn’t have their honey stolen from them, slaver.

              1. Not without payment. Or am I doing this wrong?

              2. Ah yes…the Seinfeld cartoon about bees.

            2. Bred by unionized bees?

              My wife is doing the vegan thing (for health reasons, not so much ethical), and she draws the line at dropping honey.

              1. Is there really a rational health basis for all of the restrictions of veganism (other than honey, I guess)? I always sort of thought that vegan was an inherently moralized version of vegetarianism.

                1. I always sort of thought that vegan was an inherently moralized version of vegetarianism

                  I always sort of though they were both inherently moralized versions of eating.

                  1. No.

                    They are rationales for looking down on the last 5 million years of our evolution.

                    We are omnivores, dammit, and never would have made it out of East Africa if we had been vegetarian.

                2. Claims are made, but nutritional science is so chaotic that it’s hard to know what’s true. Personally, I think we’re built to eat meat and nonmeat.

                  1. claims aside, didn’t vegetarianism/veganism originate in Asia as a result of the Buddhist aversion to causing harm?

                    Inherently Moral, or THE INHERENTLYEST MORAL?

                  2. Personally, I am confident that if you look in the mirror and open wide, you will see two medium sized canines.
                    Ok, I had a girlfriend once whose canines were more than medium sized, but she was an anomaly.

                3. If you eat an entirely vegan diet, but with careful balancing for protein complementation, you will likely slim down and be healthier, unless you already are in peak physical shape.

                  Of course, you won’t have as much fun.

                4. No offense Pro, or to your wife, but Zeb there is nothing rational at all about those kinds of food philosophies. Since time immemorial people have used magical thinking about the food they eat. Many primitives believe eating things shaped like body parts will either heal or hurt that body part. That kind of magical bullshit is alive contemporarily in the thinking that eating fat makes you fat ( a belief that seems mostly debunked now ). I get constant advice on what kinds of magical foods are good or bad for arthritis.

                  I have never given it enough thought or research to figure out why people are like that, but I can tell you definitively, NO, there is nothing rational about it. It is all magical thinking.

                  1. I’m no vegan. However, I’ve always liked fruits and vegetables, so I can go along to some extent.

                    I think the true picture, when we get better at nutritional science, will suggest what’s already being largely suggested–moderation with unhealthy stuff, mass quantities of the healthy stuff.

                5. My son dropped quite a bit of weight when he went vegan, and doesn’t have to exercise like a fiend to keep it off. He’s at a good weight. It makes it much harder to feed yourself, though.

                  Fortunately he’s not all preachy about it. He can even foresee returning to regular diet when he has a family and not just himself to feed.

                  Or I’d have to, you know, disinherit him.

              2. I’m puzzled by why anyone would do the vegan thing for health reasons. Its a recipe (SWIDT?) for malnutrition.

                1. Yes, that’s my thinking, too, but I’m okay with eating more fruits, vegetables, and grains, so long as I don’t have to do it all of the time.

                  My wife is just testing the concept, in any event.

                  1. I was a Vegan for 7-8 years during and after college. Back then, it was a major PITA, with hardly any menu options when eating out. Needless to say, it makes you quite unpopular when eating out.

                    I kind of fudged my veganism – eating fast food french fries (the horror), deep-fried Tofu, and whatnot. But other than that, I was fairly strict. No dairy, no meat, no eggs.

                    We used eggs substitute (non-animal) for baking, soy-based cheese, and soy-based faux-meat. For weightlifting, I used soy protein powder, but eventually went with whey since the cost was (much) cheaper.

                    I eventually stopped – when I got my new job and for social reasons. The first time I had a steak after all that time, I fell out of my seat, happy with joy at tasting a hunk of charred beef.

                    Oddly enough, these days I’m low carb. Eating nothing but meat, eggs, greens, cheese, and the like.

                    1. I think that is the gist. Eat what you want, when you want, and tell everyone else to fuck off. If you want to test your body with a vegan diet, do so. If your body decides it wants proteins with few carbs, eat that way. If you decide you want to snarf two Big Macs for lunch and two Whoppers for dinner, go for it. It’s no one else’s fucking business what you eat.

                    2. and smoke ceegars and play the geetar!

                    3. There’s also the variability among individuals, which appears to be considerable.

                    4. deep fried Tofu? My God, who would put that in their mouth? You did that voluntarily?

                    5. the only thing wrong with tofu is people’s attempt to use it as a meat substitute.

                      Eaten, fried and on its own merits, it’s actually quite tasty.

                    6. My wife has used it in chili, which was okay.

                    7. *shivers*

                    8. Tofu is rotten beans for God’s sake. You dont eat it, you plow it in for compost.

                    9. Tofu is rotten beans

                      It’s coagulated soy milk, much as cheese is coagulated dairy milk. As with cheese, Rottening is optional (see, Stinky Tofu).

          2. Sucrose ( cane sugar ) and Fructose ( Honey ) has identical effects on your metabolism.

            1. But one is unmutual, being once derived from human slave labor. The other is organic and the perfect golden gift of Gaea.

              1. ….perfect golden gift of gaea…..you mean bee slave labor?

                ( Actually it is a golden gift. I keep bees, and I have developed an affection for them on par with what many people feel for their pets )

                1. I’ve become a bit of a honey connoisseur. There’s an amazing amount of variation among different types of honey. We’re real big on Tupelo and sourwood honey at home.

                  1. Tupelo is hard to get and expensive. The trees are cut for their wood ( It carves like butter so it is good for carvers, primarily duck decoy carvers ) and as far as I know, I am the only person who replants them. I have a five acre slough that I stomped around in while I cussed and put in seedlings. So far they seem to be doing well. My bees get most of their nectar from honeysuckle, muscadine, huckleberry, blackberry, and two or three other types of medium quality flowers. My honey doesnt qualify as Tupelo…dammit.

                    1. We get it at our local farmers’ market. There’s a Tupelo industry in North Florida, I believe.

                  2. How to cause a run on an out of print book!

                    Frank Pellett wrote American Honey Plants a survey of the commercially exploitable honey plants in the US it also describes each of the honey varieties. I can’t think of a better tool for the individual who wants to explore single source honeys. The bonus is that almost all varieties of single source honeys are sold for the same price per lb. The general public will pay the same price for a lb. of avocado honey as for orange or sage honey that wholesales for twice as much. If you should happen upon a market with black button sage honey treat yourself it’s a close to a natural candy as you’ll get. It’s a California coast product and at the little fresh fruit stand along the highway will likely sell at the same price as clover.

            2. Don’t forget that cane sugar is bleached using ground up burnt bones.

              I never knew this until I had a vegan roommate who informed me why he refused to eat the stuff.

              1. Huh? You mean activated Carbon like in water filters?
                That process is no longer used. Commonly now, ion exchange resins are used in the place of activated Carbon. Your vegan friend probably still wont eat sugar because of the bugs crushed under tractor wheels during harvest time. Face it, ethical vegans can only really follow their philosophy by killing themselves.

                Any information you get from ethical Vegans is more than likely sensationalized or unadulterated bullshit. Activated Carbon is indeed the end product of burning bones, the bones of livestock. The same livestock that we derive our t-bones from. Yum.

                1. I googled it and it seems the practice is still in use.

                  Not that it bothers me any, but some vegans find it distasteful.

              2. “Don’t forget that cane sugar is bleached using ground up burnt bones.”

                Bleached sugar (and flour) has a much longer shelf life. We didn’t start bleaching for no reason. I get why vegans might be against it, but if its a conspiracy, its a conspiracy of people who didn’t want ergot poisoning and other foodborne pathogens.

                1. I don’t mind a little “ergot poisoning”, if you know what I mean? ;-P

                  1. *EDG reppin’ LSD

          3. Pretty much all sugars are the same in terms of badness for you. Honey is more or less the same composition as HFCS, I think (or maybe it’s more like 50/50). Agave nectar is even higher in fructose.

            1. Does using agave syrup threaten our precious tequila supply, like ethanol/corn?

              1. once again, ProL gets right to the heart of the real issue.

    2. Very true, and people have to eat SOMETHING. The anti fat propoganda means fat is off the table, so to speak. So is protein, because most protein foods also contain significant amounts of fat (unless you can live on skim milk, egg whites, boiled skinless chicken etc). So all that leaves is carbs. And sugar/starch are the most convenient ones.

      1. So all that leaves is carbs. And sugar/starch are the most convenient ones.

        most convenient? aren’t sugars and starches the whole set of carbs?

        1. There are lots of other carbs, but sugars and starches are pretty much the only ones that people can derive nutrition from. Most fiber, for example, is other kinds of carbohydrates.

          1. i had fiber categorized under starches in my mind (large, indigestible polysaccharides.)

            but I’m neither a chemist nor a dietician, so, *shrug*

            1. Starches are a specific kind of polysaccharide made of glucose.

      2. That’s another thing I was thinking about. If sugar is banned, how far behind will the more complex carbs be?

        1. that’s why I’m already adapting my digestive system to process oligiosaccharides.

        2. Sugar will be banned sometime after heroin is legalized and sold in schools.

          1. I’ll make a bet right now that we’ll see a valiant effort to ban sugar nationally in the next 10 years.

            Not biting on the heroin though.

            1. That might be a bad bet….on the heroin I mean.
              I can see the left using drug legalization as a means of subjugating what little resistance is left in the population after all their other schemes are enacted. I can also see school nurses administering it in high schools.

              Dont put anything past them. They truly are amoral in their never ending quest for power for power’s sake.

              1. SOMA, anyone?

  6. Wow, OK man that makes a lot of sense dude.

    http://www.Dot-Privacy.tk

  7. I just had a whoopie pie with my lunch. Already the sugary power flows through my veins. Ahhh, sweet extacy.

  8. Chicken wings, pizza, hamburgers, fries, beer. The list goes on and on.

  9. we r talkign about 300 millon people so 9 calleries a day will SAVE LIFES stop listing to foming talk radio

    1. Maybe someday you’ll begin forming words and writing in actual sentences.

      I hope you don’t speak the way you write, because you’re fucking unintelligible, which makes you come across as a complete fucking moron.

    2. Huh? What is foming?
      Who over 12 years old abbreviates words with single letters?
      Save Lifes? Do you mean lives?
      What are calleries?

      Aside from those minor mistakes, the point you are feebly attempting to make is complete bullshit.

  10. Bloomberg is doing this with the approval of his own conscience: As he said at a U.N. conference last fall, making “healthy solutions the default social option” is “ultimately government’s highest duty.”

    Brave New World, here we come…

  11. I find it ironic that the government subsidizes corn to no end and still has the fucking nerve to be all high and mighty about your health. High fructose corn syrup is shit for your body. Natural sugar cane is a much better option. We should stop subsidizing corn and propping up shitty fructose corn syrup & open up free trade with Cuba, who is one of the largest producers in sugar cane.

    1. Fuck those pinko bastards in Cuba. How about killing farm subsidies, then we fire everyone who has advocated any kind of governmental food control ( or better, fire them and beat them unconscious ) then let adults make their own choices and live with the consequences.

      1. “Fuck those pinko bastards in Cuba.”
        Who the fuck cares if they are pinkos or not? They produce a product that people here in the U.S desire and want. What Cubans believe is irrelevant & their own fault. The embargo is fucking worthless & completely counterproductive.

        I couldn’t agree more with the second part of your statement.

        1. Because buying their sugar is feeding the beast.
          Even if the embargo is ineffective we should still not participate in trade with them. That would be the same mentality as participating in crime because everyone else is doing it and you wont get caught.

          1. I was so clever I forgot to change my name back. How embarrassing.

          2. But why should the government tell you who you can and cannot buy a product from? If you have some moral objection against buying products from pinkos then proceed in not buying their product. Simple as that.

            1. Good point.

              You know Sharon, this debate would be so much more interesting if you would lean back in your chair and uncross your legs……

          3. Because buying their sugar is feeding the beast.

            As Miss Stone pointed out, starving the beast hasn’t exactly worked, and shows no signs of ever working.

            Perhaps gorging the beast on prosperity is a more effective solution.

            1. “Perhaps gorging the beast on prosperity is a more effective solution.”

              Exactly, maybe by showing them that if they stopped living this communist nightmere by opening up free trade and markets they could be the most prospering country in the Carribean.

              1. Ok, you got me. I am officially changing my position. Count this as the very first time anyone on here has gotten me to change my position on anything.

                Kudos to Sharon and Wylie.

            2. Except that Cuba already trades with every other country in the world with no discernible effect on their standard of living. I’m not sure how you expect opening trade with the US to change that.

          4. And that might make sense if we refused to trade with any other countries which have shitty governments. But singling out Cuba is just silly.

            1. Well, Canada certainly can’t afford to cut off its trade with the US.

              *runs*

          5. Because buying their sugar is feeding the beast.
            Even if the embargo is ineffective we should still not participate in trade with them. That would be the same mentality as participating in crime because everyone else is doing it and you wont get caught.

            Castro’s Cuba is no threat to my life. Ending the trade ban and letting mutually beneficial free trading commence will make both my life and the lives of Cubans better.

            Snarkier: Why do you hate everyone but American sugar growers so much?

      2. Fuck those pinko bastards in Cuba. How about killing farm subsidies, then we fire everyone who has advocated any kind of governmental food control ( or better, fire them and beat them unconscious ) then let adults make their own choices and live with the consequences.

        I agree with most of this, but why the hate on Cuba?

        Free trade is good for everybody. Maybe once the Cubans get a taste they’ll start becoming more capitalistic. Ie; China.

        1. It isnt a hate on Cuba, it is a white-hot burning hatred for communists/socialists from any location.

          And I have already conceded the point. Sharon, Zeb, and Wylie smoked me on that already.

          Still, fuck commies. And Tony.

          1. The important thing is: fuck the commies.

          2. Sharon, Zeb, and Wylie smoked me

            *long drag*

            *satisfied exhale*

            Mmmmm. *insert cigar aficionado comments here*

            1. What? You want to insert a cigar where?

              1. Also, fried chicken.

    2. Is there a reason you believe cane sugar is better (or rather less harmful) than HFCS? Arent they both basically half glucose and half fructose?

      1. HFCS is ~60% fructose. Since fructose is processed by the liver, it is probably a little bit worse. But as I pointed out above, agave nectar, which seems to be a favorite of the natural food fetishists, is even higher in fructose.

        1. Yes yes that’s all well and good, but which product has the highest concentrations of santorum?

          1. I could tell you, but you woudl have to live with the knowledge for the rest of your life.

        2. Yes I’ve seen agave nectar advertised as 90% fructose. I have to laugh when I see all these granola type foodies buying it, thinking it is a “healthier” alternative to sugar.

  12. One of my grandfathers lived to be 92. The other into his 100’s. The younger of the two ate tons of salt, bacon everyday, and smoked cigars until the year he died. The older was fond of having a high-ball every night with ‘Dr. Jack’ as he described it. His favorite food was salty, greasy fried chicken. Both men had decent genes and stayed active all their lives.

    This is another case of the control freaks taking a natural phenomena, longevity determined by genetics exacerbated by a sedentary lifestyle, and spinning it into a crisis that they can fix. The other BS crisis being AGW. Of course the fix requires everyone to give up liberty, property and dollars.

    They are attempting to gain total control over every facet of our lives, a scenario described by George Bernard Shaw -“I also made it quite clear that socialism means equality of income or nothing, and that under Socialism you would not be allowed to be poor. You would be forcibly fed, clothed, lodged, taught, and employed whether you like it or not. If it were discovered that you had not character and industry enough to be worth all this trouble, you might possibly be executed in a kindly manner; but whilst you were permitted to live you would have to live well.”

    People say I am over the top when I start fuming about them……
    And another thing….Fuck Tony and DJF.

    1. One of my grandfathers lived to be 92. The other into his 100’s. The younger of the two ate tons of salt, bacon everyday, and smoked cigars until the year he died. The older was fond of having a high-ball every night with ‘Dr. Jack’ as he described it. His favorite food was salty, greasy fried chicken. Both men had decent genes and stayed active all their lives.

      Real highballs are made with Dr. Jameson. However, Salt is necessary for humans to live.

      1. That was my point….there is nothing wrong with any of those substances consumed in moderation, and probably not that much wrong with them consumed a little past moderation.

      2. No true highball huh? That one has me laughing.

      3. I thought the highball was the name of the glass.

        1. It is, but it is also the class of drink mixed in those glasses, which is generally a spirit and a mixer.

        2. ugh Zeb, got me again. I happen to be on my second highball so I slipped there. You are right, it is the name of the glass. However, the name is synonymous with the drink in certain circles, much the way ‘coke’ can mean any soft drink.

          1. We call it pop. Others call it soda. But “coke” is, well, COKE.

            1. Don’t forget “tonic”.

            2. Around here if you are stopping at a store the conversation might go like this between driver and passenger in a car.

              Driver ” I am going in for something to drink. Do you want a coke or anything?”

              Passenger ” Sure get me a coke.”

              Driver ” What kind?”

              Passenger ” If they dont have Dr. Pepper get me a rootbeer.”

              1. And a moon pie.

    2. “They are attempting to gain total control over every facet of our lives”

      And there you have it. They don’t care about you and your health and your longevity, they just have an insatiable desire to have and exert control over others.

      1. …they just have an insatiable desire to have and exert control over others.

        You forgot the sneering contempt they also possess for the little people who aren’t as “smart” as them.

  13. So first we’re forced to pay on the front end for the overproduction of corn, thereby encouraging the use of high fructose corn syrup, and now we’re supposed to pay again on the back end, through soda taxes and the like, to prevent ourselves from drinking too much of it. Brilliant.

    Ah, another triumph of central planning. Kinda gives ya a warm fuzzy feeling about how well the planners will run healthcare, don’t it?

    1. Sounds like a scam to me.

    2. You know it!

    3. Kinda gives ya a warm fuzzy feeling about how well the planners will run healthcare

      Lots and lots of sugar pills, since real drugs will all experience unexplained shortages.

      1. OT: There’s a helium shortage. Go figure. It’s used in medical equipment.
        http://miami.cbslocal.com/2012…..day-gifts/

        1. here’s hoping liquid-nitrogen-cooled magnets. soon.

          Also, fried chicken.

  14. 67 cents per 2 liter? $1.44 per 12 pack? Seriously?

    When are these idiots going to stop trying to engineer my life!

    1. When are these idiots going to stop trying to engineer my life!

      We will stop trying when you shut the fuck up and do what we tell you to do. We wouldn’t have to try if you would just submit.

    2. When you’re dead.

      1. Geeez sarcasmic, you really think that will be the end of it?

        1. Nope. They’ll want to engineer the treatment of the remains, how they are stored, and by whom, into eternity.

  15. The movement to ban “shit” in your food has popular support, so shut the fuck up. You can still smoke, and eat yourself into a high fat, high sodium, hyper-glucose sorry state of existence if you want to, but don’t come cryin’ to me the taxpayer to subsidize your walker and scooter so you can get to and from the driveway to check you mail. As for the urban poor, no one is looking out for the kids who live in a nutritional dead zone, so it’s good someone cares. Asshole, there are places in this country where, if you’re born there by luck of the draw, your nutritional options are 7 eleven, Hardees and Mickey Dees with an Aldi sprinkled in for good measure. Looked over the produce section of an inner city Aldi recently? Find something useful to bitch about.

    1. Meh, I give it a C+ for profanity use.

    2. Food deserts? Come on, you can do better than that.

      So you really support the idea of the extremely inefficient, easily mislead, federal government, managing your choices through selective taxation? You don’t think maybe you should have the right to evaluate the facts and determine your own life choices without the highly suspect feds influencing your choices?

      If your complaint is that the taxpayer has to pay for walkers and scooters, maybe you should petition the government to stop subsidizing those items also.

    3. If you are so concerned about the diet of the urban poor, open a grocery store in the ghetto. do you think imposing a tax on their frozen burritos from 7-11 (MMMM–MMMMM good) or fries is going to make them eat better if they don’t have the option.

    4. If the movement to ban “shit” is so popular, then why are laws needed? If most of the country supports it, they can stop eating “shit” on their own.

      1. But.. but… that’s like saying you don’t HAVE to do a line off a hooker’s ass.

        And we all know that’s just simply not true.

    5. The movement to ban “shit” in your food has popular support, so shut the fuck up.

      Argumentum ad populum.

      … but don’t come cryin’ to me the taxpayer to subsidize your walker and scooter so you can get to and from the driveway to check you mail.

      At least we will agree on one point.

      As for the urban poor, no one is looking out for the kids who live in a nutritional dead zone, so it’s good someone cares.

      Aren’t parents looking out for their children’s well-being? If not, why is it your problem (or mine)? What about the rural poor? Are rich people capable of making poor nutritional decisions? Can private charities care about people, or is caring a monopoly controlled by The State?

      Asshole, there are places in this country where, if you’re born there by luck of the draw, your nutritional options are 7 eleven, Hardees and Mickey Dees with an Aldi sprinkled in for good measure. Looked over the produce section of an inner city Aldi recently?

      It sounds like people have many food options. Between restaurants and grocery stores, Americans have many reasonably priced options to fill their nutritional needs. Thanks for pointing that out!

      Find something useful to bitch about.

      The point of this article is about how The State is using calories to gain more control over the citizenry. It is an article about The State and it’s niggling usurping of our liberty. I think it is something worth bitching about. What would you prefer to bitch about?

      1. niggling

        You racist, poor-hating, SugarDaddy.

        1. Ha Ha! I had to Google “Is niggling racist?”. Not racist.

          1. A google niggle battle in a bottle on a beetle…

      2. Also, don’t tell the jackass that Micky D’s has salads.

    6. but don’t come cryin’ to me the taxpayer

      Sorry, but you the authoritarian statist voter approved me spending your money on health care. You don’t get to back out now. And you certainly don’t get to leverage your vote to pay for my healthcare into control over my diet.

      And yes, I know you approve of taxpayer funded healthcare because there is not one single food nazi in this does not.

      To sum up:

      Fuck off, slaver.

      1. Good answer…especially the last line. 🙂

    7. Over at PJM there used to be a commenter going by LovelyEarth who was a master at caricaturing the left. Looks like she has moved over here as illini.

    8. Champaign Urbana sucks ass. Toilet town bitch ass.

      1. I once had a wild weekend in Champaign back in 1991. Booze, chicks, punk rock, and (possibly) some sort of gas station robbery type-thing.

        1. Illinois party schools died some time around 2000. Hardcore is dead too.

    9. Fuck off, slaver.

      Also,

      Fried Chicken

  16. No, the government should not tax unhealthy food.

    Perhaps the government should stop subsidizing the grain products that enable artificially cheap, fattening, sugar-laden processed foods to flood the market. Yes, the government does select what we should eat… it artificially lowers the price of processed crap, hindering people who would otherwise eat healthier with higher relative prices.

    So should we tax unhealthy food… no, and we shouldn’t subsidize it either.

  17. It has been clear to me for decades that there is something easily ten times as unhealthy as tobacco, sugar, fat, or salt;

    Sanctimony.

    1. Yeah, that definitely is far more likely to get you a firm punch in the face.

    2. You win the thread, hands down Schofield.

  18. The irony is that when people don’t smoke and eat right, they live longer, consuming more dollars in socialized medicine and socialized pension programs over their longer lives than those who lead a less politically correct lifestyle.

    Want to bring down the cost of social programs? Encourage unhealthy lifestyles.

    1. As the tobacco companies found out, you are not allowed to point that fact out or acknowledge its existence.

    2. I intend to do my patriotic duty. I’m on track to retire in my late 50s, and I smoke and drink like a maniac.

      Also, fried chicken.

      1. Also, fried chicken.

        I’m going to end every post with this from now on.

        Also, fried chicken.

      2. Yeah, I’m planning on dying at the age of 60 with no children.

        Live fast, die young. It’s like a planned suicide; I figure I’ll be fed up with the world by then anyways.

        Boy will I be pissed if there’s a libertarian revolution when I’m 59 though.

        1. planning on dying at the age of 60….die young.

          Huh?

          Also, fried chicken.

      3. You and me both, Gojira.

        Plus, it is my firmly and publicly established plan to predecease Mrs. Dean. And you don’t want to disappoint Mrs. Dean.

        1. My wife and I are actually worried about that, RC.

          No one on my dad’s side of the family makes it out of their 60s, and everyone on my wife’s side lives into their 90s. Also, women tend to live longer than men, and Asians live longer than whites (on average).

          So we’re planning having to finance a good 35 years of post-marital time to kill.

        2. Also, fried chicken.

          1. OK dammit that is three of you. Next I will start with the Also, fried chicken thing. Plus, you are making me hungry.

            Also, fried chicken.

            1. As a fellow southerner, it is our duty to promote Fried Chicken Awareness as the greatest single food known to man.

            2. Also, fried chicken.

  19. Here’s one for ya!

    Government agents inspecting pre-schoolers’ lunch boxes to make sure the contents meet with the federal government’s approval.

    And replacing the healthy lunch therein when the agent, in his own discretion, unilateraly decides it does not.

    1. Holy shit.

      And since when are there public pre-schools?

      1. Since decades. Head Start. K4.

    2. Jesus christ

    3. Sadly, this information has resulted in no marches featuring pitchforks and torches, nor public celebrations utilizing tar, feathers, and cleansing, cleansing flame.

      This is why we are doomed.

    4. Given shit like that, one has to wonder how your rage is supressed, even barely.

    5. Can’t wait until they change out some Muslim or Jewish kid’s lunch with a ham and cheese on white with mayo.

    6. Oddly enough, the agent replaced the turkey and cheese sandwich with…

      Fried Chicken
      (nuggets)

  20. If, as a country, a major problem among poor people is that they have too many calories available, then you are doing pretty well. These people need to shut up. How long has it been since starving to death was a real possibility for a lot of people?

    1. How long has it been since starving to death was a real possibility for a lot of people?

      2-3 generations, tops? Such short memories…

      Also, fried chicken.

  21. There are 2600 people EACH YEAR who are 9 calories per day away from dying.

    And war is peace.
    freedom is slavery.
    ignorance is strength

  22. Sugar is poison.
    You fucking idiots poison yourselves on purpose?
    Fucking Idiots.
    http://www.globalhealingcenter…..son-of-all

    1. have you ever tasted wine?

    2. Thanks for your (fake) concern. It’s almost as sincere as your (fake) outrage.

    3. Everything is deadly in high enough doses.

    4. Rage troll raging
      Delusion will do strange things
      Go away baitin’

    5. Sugar is poison.

      So, no fruit for you!

  23. How much sugar is there in semen?

    1. Adenine, Guanine, Cytosine, Thymine…

      1. ejaculate as a bulk material is composed of more than just the genetic material.

        1. The seminal vesicles produce a yellowish viscous fluid rich in fructose and other substances that makes up about 70% of human semen.

          SUGARRRRRRRRGHGHGH!!!!!

        2. Yep, and you can bet your ass Tony will never get scurvy.

          1. Why? Does Obama dip his ball sack in lime juice?

            1. It’s quicker than washing with soap and water.

              Also, fried chicken.

  24. Down the toilet bowl:

    1. Govt funds anti-tech studies by hack scientists for scare value.
    2. Govt funds “non-profits” who are bought and paid for anti-tech advocates, to make scare noise.
    3. The pro-govt media covers the junk science as if it were truth and covers protests as if they are widely held opinions.
    4. Govt overregulates or bans the persecuted tech.
    5. Consumers have less truth, less choice, less productivity, less jobs, less wealth, less health, and less security.
    6. Black markets for the tech create criminal creators and users of the tech.
    7. Soon everyone is a criminal, including people working for the Govt.
    8. The Govt now has cause to investigate anyone and detain them for prosecution or get them to rat out other targets of persecution.
    9. Power becomes central, arbitrary, and absolute.

    Welcome to the USSA. Have a nice day!

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