Geithner Says He'll Leave if Obama Reelected, Fed Reserve Adopts "Transparency" Policy, Romney and Newt in Dead Heat in Florida: P.M. Links

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    1. I sharted myself. Again.

      1. ‘Sharted’, waz that? Leaves powder burns?

        1. Started as a fart, ended up being a shit. Sharted.

          1. Sharted seems backwards. Shouldn’t it be fitted?
            Or maybe since something went wrong in the middle, fidded?

            1. Phew.

          2. SugarFree|11.7.11 @ 9:06AM|# The Pledge
            I will not respond in any way to rather or any of her other thousand spoof handles in any way (White Indian, et al.) I have never spoofed her handle, and support no one else doing so. Spoofing her gives her cover for her various trolling activities. Let her post her retarded form letters and whining unmolested; she will hoist herself on her own petard as she has always done.
            The Big Ignore begins today. Please do not feed any of the trolls.sf pledge

            1. Classic. Do as I say, not as I do.

  1. Most administrations, the first tranche of cabinet secretaries are the “A team” for that tribe. After TIMMEH, who will be able to fill his shoes? I’m sure someone intern at one of the Wall street firms will be found for the job.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TANqlCkUbk

  2. Geithner Says He’ll Leave if Obama Reelected

    Oh, NOOO!!

    1. Geithner Says: He’ll Leave if Obama Reelected.

      So to to get rid of Timmy we vote for Obama? Am I getting this right?

    2. Presumably, he will refuse to leave if Obama loses. Chain himself to the flagpole, that sort of thing, right?

  3. During the speech, there was a cut to Timmy G doing math in his head while Obama was talking about refinancing everyone’s mortgage.

  4. At least fourth!

    1. OK, fifth!

      1. Dammit! Sixth!

        1. Thirteenth!?

            1. It was twice as funny as I thought it was.

              1. If I were sage I would say,

                HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

                Even though it’s not Friday.

  5. Warren Buffett’s Secretary Likely Makes Between $200,000 And $500,000/Year

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/pa…..00000year/

    1. Meh. I owe a lot more than that in Federal taxes.

  6. Miley Cyrus loves big black cake

    http://www.wwtdd.com/2012/01/m…..lack-cake/

    1. Shit.

    2. Jeez, the foreskin has a big herpes ulcer on it! Wonder who ate that piece.

      1. Eewww!!

    3. You’ll find gals many times more attractive than her in any group of people at the fucking mall. I don’t see her appeal at all.

    4. Classy. I know her parents must be very proud.

        1. See, I resisted the Billy Ray joke, but Noooooooooo.

    5. What the fuck. She’s a sloppy nasty drunk skank.

        1. *looks around nervously*

    6. I’m just gonna go ahead and ask, already regretting the answer: Why does Miley’s boyfriend, allegedly a male, have a cake shaped like a penis at his birthday party?

      1. Why does Miley’s boyfriend, allegedly a male, have a cake shaped like a penis at his birthday party?

        Theory A: His friends thought it would be funny in that homophobic way young men do.

        Theory B: He’s a homo.

    7. Disney, what the fuck do you do to these girls?

      1. Everything you wish you could.

        1. Then why are they on TV and not in a ditch in my backyard?

    1. More classiness. >_> I feel sorry for that baby. I hope his parents can get their heads out of their asses. Umm.

      1. Golly, until this I never knew porn stars weren’t all enjoying stately, patrician lives. Where are all the Reason articles on that? Now look at that vast gap in my education they left me with. It’s as vulgar as going outside without a hat.

        1. Who would have thought that women who make a living getting choked, slapped in the breasts, and having their faces sprayed with semen MIGHT have some psychological issues.

    2. The report states Tori and Lyndell started arguing because, as Tori told police … Lyndell didn’t have “enough breast milk” to feed the baby.

      I think I see the problem here…

  7. “A high school hockey coach has been fired after members of his team paraded around a bar in women’s lingerie.

    He said the teens wearing the underwear had been taking part in a runway show that was held in a bar opposite the team’s hotel following a match in Marquette, Michigan.”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..gerie.html

    1. Johnny Upton: I’m gonna flash them Joe!
      Joe McGrath: Aw jeez, son…
      Johnny Upton: Yes I am! I’m gonna walk down that stinkin’ aisle, and open this faggot bathrobe and wiggle my dick at ’em!
      Joe McGrath: You WILL not.
      Johhny Upton: Yes I am, Joe, and you know why? Because I want you to have a heart attack and die so that we never have to do this shit again. You and your fuckin’ fashion shows.
      Joe McGrath: It’s good publicity! You boys just haven’t been bringing in the crowds like you used to.
      Johnny Upton: Im telling you, ya cheap bastard, in about 30 seconds everyone in the crowd, with the exception of MY wife is gonna be running for the exits!

  8. She also designs clothes:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..shoot.html

    1. I like how you save it all up, just like the money shot in a Sarah Young video.

      1. just like the money shot in a Sarah Young video

        Sarah Young? Jesus Fuckin’ Christ, that’s from back in the day. That’s like masturbating to Egyptian hieroglyphics.

        1. Kandi Barbour?

    2. It’s funny, cuz it’s sad.

    3. Now that I am aging rapidly the thought of someone 62 looking that good helps. She can Vera my Wang any time.

      1. I know, she’s pretty inspiring! (Oh yeah, and the clothes look nice too!)

  9. RELEASE THE DIPSHITS!

  10. The Fed Reserve will publish “detailed and explicit information on its projections for economic growth, inflation, and unemployment.”

    Uh, huh. And if when its projections don’t pan out …?

    1. Don’t be ridiculous.

  11. House honors Gabrielle Giffords by uninamously voting to extend the size and scope of the drug war.

    Bipartisanship, and self-aggrandizement, at its finest. Let’s honor one of our own, and therefore ourselves by extension, by mindlessly upvoting her bill!

    1. From the Giffords article:

      “The Democratic congresswoman introduced the legislation along with fellow Arizonan Jeff Flake, a Republican.”

      So when can we expect the next Reason tribute to the greatness of Jeff Flake?

      1. Jeff Flake showed he’s a smarter politician than Ron Paul. No matter how objectively or morally right you may be, when your job depends on votes, being “Dr. No” just makes you look stupid to the voters. It’s not a way to persuade people, and it doesn’t win you anything.

        And guess what? Even if years from now those voters have changed their minds (due to other factors) to agree with you, in their eyes you’re still a shmuck for having disagreed with the overwhelming consensus then.

        That goes double in this case, where he stood to be on the side of the semi-martyred fellow member of Congress from that state.

        1. Jeff Flake showed he’s a smarter politician than Ron Paul. No matter how objectively or morally right you may be, when your job depends on votes

          Go lick some jack boots and bow down to your corruptocrat idol, then come back when you feel better.

        2. Of course! That’s why Paul has been re-elected a dozen times.

        3. Uh…where was Dr. No’s no? Isn’t he in the House?

        4. Jeff Flake showed he’s a smarter politician than Ron Paul. No matter how objectively or morally right you may be, when your job depends on votes, being “Dr. No” just makes you look stupid to the voters. It’s not a way to persuade people, and it doesn’t win you anything.

          It’s been winning a congressional seat for Ron Paul for… a really long time?!!

          1. Someone’s never heard of the advantages of incumbency.

      2. Reason‘s-law.

    2. What the hell does it take to kill a drug warrior? Worse than fuckin’ zombies man.

      Shootin’ em in the head obviously doesn’t work. Maybe you have kill it with fire*

      *old meme, but good meme

      1. The Mexican cartels seem to have figured out something. Cut off their heads and hang from bridges?

        1. You know how we snack ’round here.

          1. I’ve got my eye on you.

  12. Government of British Columbia considering modifying liquor laws to allow alcohol in movie theatres.

    1. Manitoba approved this last month.

    2. Just in time for Star Wars I in 3D I notice.

      1. Jesus, I would need Oil Baron-grade heroin to get through that shit-fest. Maybe some acid to boot.

    3. Finally a legitimate reason to move back to BC.

      1. You can get beer and wine in theaters in Kentucky. Not all of them, but you can. Plus, I’m delightful.

      2. You can do this in some theaters in Texas. Apathiest is a big fan of something in Houston called Alamo Drafthouse.

        I hate seeing movies with people other than my wife in places other than my house.

        1. There’s an Alamo Drafthouse in H-town now? I’m so moving back.

          1. Due, there’s 3!

            1. Jeebus, I’ve been gone too long. As soon as my house gets right-side up or I can figure out a scam to get out without paying the bank $15k cash on the way out, I’m so back.

              1. You know, just a totally random observation, but leaving a battery charger with frayed wires plugged in next to a gas can in your garage would probably be really risky, in terms of your house completely burning to the ground.

        2. dude fort worth has been doing the movie tavern for years, the ridgmar one has good ticket prices too. I also hear at movie taverns you can buy a big ole mug and bring it in to get refilled for like 4 bucks

      3. Every theater in the Greater New Orleans area sells liquor; some just have frozen-daiquiri machines but some have full bars.

    4. This simply cannot be allowed! It must be frowned upon! There must be order! ORDER! It’s for the children!

    5. Jesus, that’s against the law? WTF? I guess I got spoiled with daiquiris and rum in certain New Orleans movie theaters, and then stiff drinks and beer at the Belcourt Theater in Nashville.

  13. Death-row convict writes a letter to his hometown newspaper bragging about how awesome prison is, with his cable and air conditioning, and how they’ll never actually kill him so he’s basically set for life.

    http://www.witn.com/crime/head…..28703.html

    1. I’d be funny if a week from now, it turned out that the process was misreported, and that he’s actually scheduled for execution by electrocution on the next day.

  14. Giffords’ bill would impose tougher penalties on smugglers who use small, low-flying aircraft to avoid radar detection and bring drugs across the Mexican border.

    The joke’s on you, gringos.

    We’re already using your drones as mules.

    1. “Newsflash: Drone crash in Iran caused by stowed contraband. Suspected collusion between Iranian authorities and Mexican cartels gives Obama and GOP candidates massive boners.”

  15. Ugh! Ugh!

  16. We’re underwriting this crap?

    Miss Ives, get me Nick Whatsisname.

    1. OK, that was funny.

  17. Romney invested in Fannie & Freddie which essentially means Newt was paid with money from Romney for Freddie to ignore the advice Newt was paid to give them. And that Romney’s investment was bailed out by taxpayer funds. Oh the irony!

    Top Romney advisers lobbied for Freddie Mac
    http://tinyurl.com/7gy93b5

    What really happened in the Gingrich ethics case?
    http://tinyurl.com/7bkexma

  18. Goddammit. Why can’t schizophrenics have better aim?

    Too soon?

    1. It’s mean, but Giffords was an ass, so who gives a shit?

      1. Luckily for all of us, being an ass does not remove your right to life.

    2. Not for me! The more jokes, the better.

      1. Also, obligatory “fuck the politician”. And fuck whoever doesn’t like it.

    3. If only he had a 50 round mag instead of 33. Or practiced reloading for like 5 minutes.

      1. Yeah, he could have killed a bunch more ordinary, non-office-holding people. Har dee har.

        You people make me puke.

    4. Not that it should make a difference for, you know, a civilized human being, but do you realize that 95% of his victims were non-politicians?

      1. Yeah, it was terrible. So obviously, we must outlaw guns, develop precrime techniques, force the youth into “community service” programs so they are too occupied to give a shit about fuck, and give children-young adults “free” psychiatric evaluations every couple of hours. That’ll fix it.

        Oh wait, you can’t fix crazy. He would have drove a bus leaking gasoline into those people sans firearm. Same(worse?) outcome.

  19. http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc…..-news.html

    HEY WE THE PEOPLE OF THESE DEMOCRATIC UNITED STATES PROPOSE THe Gun Control Safety Enhancement Security and Public Health-Ensuring Insurrectionist-Destroying Racist-Repelling Act! MUST BAN!

    1. There is legal confusion over whether the miniature cannons are decorations, toys or firearms, according to a blog post by legal scholar Jonathan Turley.

      For God’s sake, can’t they be all three?!

      1. *This* is why lawyers get paid the big bucks.

    2. .50 caliber is a dangerous caliber! I propose the ban of all projectiles 1/2 an inch in diameter to prevent senseless tragedies such as this!

      /sarcasm

    3. GCSES PHEIDRR Act? It’ll never pass with an acronym like that.

      1. The

        Security Upon Careful and Knowledgeable Statists Being Awesomely Lame and Lunatic, or the SUCKS BALLS Act of 2012?

        1. Bureau of
          Unified
          Touring and
          Travel
          Real
          American
          Protection
          Edict.

  20. http://highschool.rivals.com/c…..ID=1323021

    Immigration issue costs recruit spot at Goergia

  21. President Obama’s Chrysler 300C back to auction for $1 million

    http://autos.yahoo.com/blogs/m…..57927.html

    If I had the money, I’d buy it, and then I’d drench it in gasoline, set it alight, and scream and chant “KILL IT WITH FIRE! DESTROY THE TAINT” as it burned to a crisp.

    1. “2005 Chrysler 300C, 20K, 5.7 Hemi, pre-bailout, no smoker, fading aura of hope. $1M OBO”

      1. Shows what morons will do for useless celebrity bullshit collectibles.

  22. You guys ought to click on the “Newt is Bill Clinton” link. Nothing surprising there, but it’s nice to see a conservative with bonafides ripping (and it IS a good rip) Newt for being Newt.

    1. No way. I would hang out with Bill and have a beer. I just want to kick Newt’s fat ass.

      1. Both/and: Drink with him, get into a brawl, have tearful reconciliation, then pass out.

        Or am I thinking about him and one of his wives?

    2. He also doesn’t hate Ron Paul. A stunner, really.

      1. If he doesn’t hate Ron Paul, than he must be an isolationist PRO-MUUUZZZLIIM racist who wants to warm our homes with the burning corpses of the elderly and retarded children. HE MUST BE STOPPED!!!!

  23. http://games.yahoo.com/blogs/p…..44239.html

    Imprisoned Megaupload founder loses ‘Call of Duty’ crown

    The founder of file-sharing site Megaupload isn’t just considered one of the most notorious digital pirates in the world: he’s also one of the best Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 players around.

    Kim Dotcom (Getty Images)
    Unfortunately for Kim Dotcom, he’s no longer on top of either game.
    Last week, Dotcom was arrested in his New Zealand mansion over accusations that Megaupload cost copyright holders $500 million in lost revenue by facilitating millions of illegal downloads. That’s keeping him tied up in court, which means he’s not doing what any hardcore gamer should be doing: protecting his high score.

  24. I read that as “Romney and Newt Dead”.

    Almanian, Freud – Frued, Almanian

  25. I am so tired of seeing articles like this:

    http://jezebel.com/5879162/are…..bad-at-sex

    Guess what you incredibly unself-aware whiners, there is no power imbalance besides the one created in women’s heads. Hypergamy is real, and it’s time to quit pretending. Nobody’s buying it anymore. If they didn’t act like dicks, how would you know that other women (and thus you) wanted to sleep with them?

    1. Raging against Jezebel is like…..raging against Jezebel.

      1. And Salon and New York Times just to name a few others. I keep seeing these whining articles that completely deny reality on this topic.

    2. What’s worse is that these guys are showing just how emasculated they really are:

      I got an email from a guy who said the article was hurtful because a lot of guys are already really insecure about sexual performance, and this is going to make things so much worse now that they know girls actually talk about this stuff amongst themselves.

      Whining because some pump-and-dump coed said you were lousy in the sack, AND exhibiting paranoia that women in general talk about how well you fuck? Congratulations, western males, you’ve officially become women.

      1. I do not avoid women, but I deny them my essence.

        1. Even if the women are willing to give you strange love?

      2. There’s a non-virgin male out there who doesn’t know that women discuss their sex lives in detail that would shame a play-by-play announcer?

  26. New Fed transparency…

    Shows exactly how inept it is as an organization. Think about it for a second. This is a central bank with a monopoly control of the money supply; it is effectively all powerful in its ability to create inflation. It is now setting an inflation target of 2%, but NONE of the members on the FOMC are forecasting inflation above 2% for the next several years. Also note that unemployment is well above their estimates for the natural rate.

    If you are aiming for the bullseye, you put your target in the middle, you don’t aim for the edge. With it’s dual mandate the Fed is supposed to minimize unemployment AND inflation, but BY THEIR OWN ESTIMATES unemployment is too high and inflation is too low. Then they forecast that it doesn’t get much better for several years. They are effectively saying “we don’t expect to do our job for several years.”

    Meanwhile they’re paying interest on reserves (i.e. paying banks to put money to no productive use).

    1. we don’t expect to do our job for several years

      It’s a hell of a gig.

    2. What they are signalling is that a central bank can’t do a fucking thing about high unemployment, and the dual mandate is a load of populist twaddle.

      What they won’t admit is that, after decades of massive leveraging that they aided and abetted, we are now starting a massive deleveraging. And their idiotic short-term games trying to pump up (via leverage) more asset bubbles have set us up for some kind of nightmarish deleveraging deflation/monetary inflation nightmare.

  27. Charles “Pollyanna” Schumer: “We are in great shape.” I just about fell out of my chair.

    1. She’s very pretty.

    2. She is pretty much the entire package

    3. She’s fucking nuts, but in a good way.

  28. Newt Gingrich will never be president. Never.

    1. Australia lets you immigrate there if you’re in a qualifying profession. Nearly all of the programming professions qualify, as do engineers, librarians, and a few other ones often seen around here.

      Just in case.

      1. Also: Obama re-election.

        1. I could see myself as an Australian. Within a year and a half I imagine they would have me as their king.

          I’m not threatening to leave. I’m saying that Newt Gingrich will collapse under the weight of his own horridness before the primary season is over. The country’s voters, even only its Republican half, will not abide a Newt Gingrich candidacy. Even South Carolina had to have rolled over the next morning, seen a sleeping Newt Gingrich next to it and said, “How the fuck much did I have to drink last night?”

      2. but if you go for citizenship, then you have to deal with their mandatory voting.

        That really fucks with my concept of a voter-turnout-threshold, below which the entire incumbent gov’t is fired and we do without till the next election. I mean, yeah, it’s not too likely to ever happen here either, but it’s impossible under the Aussie regime.

        1. wylie, I’m willing to make the sacrifice of your idea for my comfort.

      3. There’s always Somalia.

        1. That’s fucking hilarious! Did you think of it yourself?

        2. Somalia actually provides an example of how a polycentric legal system based on customary law can provide order and some stability in the absence of government.
          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xeer

          Somalia is a big country, and the areas that see the most violence and killing are areas where there is conflict between the government and the Islamist facitons.

          So Somalia’s problem is civil conflict between two competing government groups, not anarchy.

      4. Doesn’t Australia have government controlled healthcare, draconian gun laws, and a censorship and ban happy nannystate that would put Chuckie Schumer to shame?

        1. A LIBERTARDIAN PARADISE

      5. Actually, I checked it out. Despite being a programmer w/ a ChemE degree, I was about 4 points short of the visa level last year.

      6. That would fucking suck. To go through all that trouble to emigrate, only to find Sugarfree’s pale ass on the beach drinking an imported budweiser.

  29. Geitner leaving? Yes! “Hit the road, jack, and don’t come back no more, no more, no more, no more; hit the road, jack and don’t come back no more!”

    1. What, you think they’ll replace him with someone better?

      Wait ’til you have to live under Secretary Krugman.

      1. “Wait ’til you have to live under Secretary Krugman.”

        Words (and sound effects) fail me.

        1. *DRYHEAVE*

      2. Sweet Satan…NO.

  30. Geithner Says He’ll Leave if Obama Reelected

    Incidentally, if Obama gets reelected, I might feel like leaving the country too.

    1. A flight to Nairobi can be had for under a grand. Then you can take a bus to Somalia.

      1. You can fly to Somali.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jubba_Airways

        Funny how in the absence of central government the Somali xeer system has allowed enterprising Somalis to create things like airlines, power generators that can power neighborhoods, and other businesses. The violence is mainly fueled by the central government and Islamists fighting each other over territory.

        1. Not direct from the US of A you can’t. A flight to Dubai is more than a grand. I’m trying to save you morons money.

          1. Lewis, you should save yourself some time AND GO THE FUCK AWAY. There’s probably some soldier or politician you should be jacking off at the moment anyway. Get on it, citizen!

        2. I’m not an anarchist, but if Somalia has problems, it isn’t becasue they don’t have a massive bureaucracies like the ones Barack Obama’s done his best to foist on us over the last three years…

          Somalia could use a government dedicated to protecting the individual civil and property rights of its citizens.

          The United States of America could use a president dedicated to protecting the individual civil and property rights of its people, too!

          Too bad that in Obama we have a president who thinks individual rights are the problem.

          1. Seriously, A Serious Man, do you imagine that the problem in Somalia is that the government spends too much time and effort protecting people’s individual rights?

      2. Yeah, well, obviously if I don’t love America under a president who squandered $350 billion out of working Americans’ future paychecks–and squandered it to bail out Wall Street investors?

        Then I must want to live in a place like Somalia.

        Is that how things work in your world?

      3. We could chip in and get your ass shipped to North Korea, Lewis. Kim Jong’s kid could use someone like you on staff.

  31. supersweet cop story o the day

    get called to an armed robbery in progress at the local medical mj clinic.

    after much pointing of gunz (but no SWAT), we learn the call was called in by a patient of the clinic who was 86’d and was SO pissed off that he called in an armed robbery in progress there, and claimed both suspects (who were the employees and sole occupants) were armed with gunz and robbing the place

    he will be charged.

    while clearing the clinic, i was impressed by the odor.

    it reminded me of… college

      1. he looks like the the blonde henchman from die hard, who kept trying to avenge his brother’s death, at bruce willis’ hands.

        i totally wish my precinct had a nakatomi plaza so i could scream into my police radio “SHOTS FIRED NAKATOMI PLAZA. I NEED BACKUP NOW!!!! NOW GODDAMIT NOW!”

        1. That is a fine case against recording cops.

          1. i am 100% for recording cops, and as gillespie says – cops generally support it

            people record us, we record them – keeps people honest and weeds out bad actors

            win win win win

            except when cops are dancing. every man should have a right to groove without it being recorded for posterity, ridicule, and ultimately- the youtoob

            1. people record us, we record them – keeps people honest and weeds out bad actors

              win win win win

              What are your thoughts on when cops deliberately/accidentally turn off their dashcams and their arrestee shows up at the station beaten to a pulp. How many “wins” does that count as?

            2. Dancing cops ARE funny.

              1. Unless they are doing the headstomp dance.

                Notice how the other half-dozen cops just race in there to arrest their brother for stomping on the head of an innocent man? You don’t, because they all just stand there and allow a detained man to be assaulted.

                (By the way, the cops in the video faced no charges and the Chief of the Seattle Police Department–no fucking surprise there–refuses to fire anyone involved, although one was suspended. Gotta love that union contract, eh dunphy?)

                1. “It came down to the fact that when you looked at what he said, which was appalling, and when you looked at his entire career, the possibility of me actually being successful in a termination case was probably slim to none,” Diaz said in a news conference on Thursday.

                  Police unions. Can’t live with them, can’t execute everyone involved.

                  Also, “what he said”. Diaz was only concerned with a racial slur on his race. He didn’t give a fuck about him stomping on that guys head.

                  1. he did not stomp the guys head

                    get real

                2. and of course the facts of the case don’t AT ALL support the claim of a headstomp

                  hint:what were his injuries?

                  what injuries does one see from a headstomp?

                  the cops should not have faced charges, and they didn’t

                  i support charges in a lot of cases, most recently the melbourne case listed in reason

                  in this case, charges were not warranted.

                  the correct decision was made

                  and yes, i LOVE my union contract… great wages, great benefits, etc

                  1. he did not stomp the guys head

                    What was that at :26? at :37? (which was so bad 3 cops immediately turned their heads away) And why were the cops helping him medically after they realized they had the wrong guy? Did he hurt himself prior to being kicked twice?

                    what injuries does one see from a headstomp?

                    I see. So shooting at someone is not attempted murder either, unless you put a hole in them, right?

                    in this case, charges were not warranted.

                    So if a citizen made this arrest and they kicked a prone suspect in the head and then stomped him in the back, we can assume they would face no legal issues if it turned out their victim had done no wrong?

                    the correct decision was made

                    The decision to protect the cop who said he would beat “the Mexican piss” out of the suspect wrongfully arrested person and then proceeded to just about to it? That decision?

                    You just show how despicable you are more and more every day. If it wasn’t so horrifyingly sad, it would be hilarious.

                    1. Judging by this and his turd-in-the-punchbowl splash over on the crazy guy thread, I think he took your Hollywood Hogan advice seriously.

  32. “citizen” issues cop a ticket. another day in portlandia…

    A CITIZEN who watched a cop illegally park, then walk into an Asian restaurant to wait for his food, has issued the officer a series of citizen-initiated parking violations.

    Eric Bryant says he was sitting in the SanSai Japanese Grill on NW 21st and Hoyt on March 7 when he witnessed Officer Chadd Stensgaard pull up and park his patrol car illegally, next to a “No Parking” sign.

    Stensgaard walked into the restaurant wearing his police uniform, but did not make any arrests or citations. Instead, he turned his attention to the basketball game on television, according to Bryant. When Bryant asked Stensgaard about his vehicle, Stensgaard allegedly acknowledged being in a no-parking zone but asked Bryant, “If someone broke into your house, would you rather have the police be able to park in front of your house or have to park three blocks away and walk there?”

    Bryant returned to his seat, and says shortly afterward he watched a restaurant employee hand the officer a plastic bag before he left. Unfortunately for Officer Stensgaard, Bryant had recently passed the Oregon bar exam, and decided to pursue the matter further.

    “If he had acknowledged and corrected his error, we could have avoided this whole thing,” says Bryant. “But instead, he kept watching basketball and told me he wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

    Now, using ORS 153.058, Bryant?as a private citizen?has initiated violation proceedings against Officer Stensgaard. Bryant alleges Stensgaard was in violation of state statutes on illegal parking, illegal stopping, obeying parking restrictions on state highways, and illegal operation of an emergency vehicle or ambulance?the violations carry fines totaling $540.

    Officer Stensgaard has received a Multnomah County summons to appear in traffic court on May 23. Meanwhile Bryant denies he is just stirring up trouble.

    “Citizens should be concerned that he used his status as an officer of the law as justification for breaking the law,” he says.

    Stensgaard declined comment through the cops’ office of public information.

    http://www.portlandmercury.com…..oid=753233

    1. Good. But I bet the taxpayers end up footing the bill for this.

      1. iirc, the officer’s union, which they pay for, paid his ticket

        again, iirc

        1. Wow! You’re awfully familiar with the Portland PD’s union contract. Or perhaps you just pulled that one out of your asshole.

          hth.

          1. again, this is an old story we hashed over at volokh.com when it came out

            IF I RECALL CORRECTLY, his union paid the ticket

            and yes, portland PD pays for union dues out of their pocket

            http://www.ppavigil.org/

            here’s their union page. feel free to look around

            i am not aware of any agency wherein the officers don’t pay their union dues

            considering that unions OPPOSE management, who else would pay dues.

    2. See, sloopy? A lot of Oregon material exists.

      1. I stand corrected. What’s that make the count now?
        Dunphy 2
        Reason 1,328

        1. It doesn’t count. A cop didn’t ticket him, a lawyer did. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone here claim that lawyers don’t hold police acountable.

          1. cops ticket cops all the time, but i never claimed cops dont cut cops breaks for tickets. damn right we do. ive done it. and been given breaks too

            i’ve NEVER denied it. quite the opposite

            1. It’s refreshing to see you admit that you don’t consider equal protection to be very important.

              1. i do consider it important. i am also a pragmatist and recognize when it comes to civil infractions (speeding), cops cut other cops breaks

                that’s reality

                unlike you, i ADMIT reality

                i know most cops also cut nurses and firefighters the same break

                cool.

                it’s a perk. you may not like it, it may seem unjust, but i recognize it.

                that’s the difference between us. i can recognize reality

                try it. you might like it

                fwiw, when it comes to DUI’s, i know several cops, heck some in my AGENCY that have been arrested for DUI

                DUI? yes

                minor speeding? no

                1. fwiw, when it comes to DUI’s, i know several cops, heck some in my AGENCY that have been arrested for DUI

                  Shouldn’t they know better?

                  1. cops make mistakes. fallible and imperfect. my friend who got one was depressed, going through a divorce, and an alcoholic.

                    and got the exact same punishment others get

                    which is fair

                2. fwiw, when it comes to DUI’s, i know several cops, heck some in my AGENCY that have been arrested for DUI

                  citation needed.

                  1. fwiw there are no stats “ONLINE” for this

                    why would I lie?

                    hth

                  2. citations were given

                    1. citations were given

                      Now what exactly is your definition of citation? Cause it must be different than everyone else’s. Here’s one about a cop driving drunk, but it goes a little differently than your narrative:

                      http://www.khou.com/news/local…..51273.html

                      Asst. Chief Dan Perales was given a written reprimand for his actions in the case, as was Sgt. Paul Ogden.

                      Three more officers were counseled as a result of that day’s events.

                      The stiffest penalties are a single day suspension without pay for two supervisors: Lt. Andrew King and Capt. Robert Manzo.

                      Seven cops covered for him, and got slaps on the wrist when discovered. One even got promoted a few weeks later.

                3. Oh, I recognize reality. I point it out to the faithful on here every day. It’s you that live in a fantasyland where cops are treated more harshly than “citizens.”

        2. 2 for what?

          are u inferring i am using this as an example of some principle?

          if so, im not

          1. That’s 2 examples where a cop was treated like an ordinary citizen vs 1,328 examples (likely 1,329 by now) of cops treating themselves better than citizens or not being held accountable for their violence against citizens. (now up to 1,340)

            1. first of all, i wasn’t using it as an example of them being treated like “ordinary citizens” since most ordinary citizens don’t have other “citizens” write them a ticket

              i just thought it was a cool story, bro

              i realize there is no amount of data that will ever lead you to recogize that IN SOME cases and ways cops are given benefits from the criminal justice system and in some cases and ways, they are treated more harshly

              at one point, i was asked to provide an example of the latter, and i did, and to this day, you can’t come up with an example of anybody but a cop getting a 23 yr sentence for assault in WA state, given no prior felonies

              period. and in that case, the judge outright stated in open court that cops should get harsher treatment

              i was asked for an example and gave it

              but again, i couldn’t convince a member of stormfront that jews are beneficial in our society, so i am not going to convince you that cops are

              i accept that.

              1. Where to begin…

                I’ve pointed out hundreds of examples where cops are given preferential treatment. Literally hundreds on here. And you dwell on one fucking case that you lied about initially (“a non-cop would only get 2 years”), then twisted your story around a dozen ways when called out on the actual facts. And in your case, the sentence held up on appeal, so it was obviously not unfair.

                And all you can do is say I won’t give you a case where a “citizen” was given as harsh a sentence for exactly the same crime in the same state. First, you’re not even acknowledging that a non-cop would have likely faced attempted murder for the crime of driving over to her house and then chasing her around until he pushed her out of a second-story window.

                I realize there’s a slight possibility that the judge gave him a harsher sentence…right after he applauded his career of “doing good.” Unfortunately, the appellate court didn’t think he did, which runs counter to your narrative.

                On the other hand, there are countless examples posted on here daily that chronicle disparities in how people like you are treated.

                1. this is where your continual lying shines through

                  1) the victims own statements even do not support attempted murder charges. read them. again. it was an ASSAULT case. there is no way they could have proven attempt murder beyond a reasonable doubt, nor is there even credible evidence of attempted murder

                  you are so fucking intellectually dishonest you have to (but the cops but the cops) invent this ‘if he wasn’t a cop’ canard to get out of the fact that

                  1) the judge said a cop should get harsher treatment
                  2) proceeeded to dole it out

                  and if (2) is untrue then find me ONE noncop, similarly not a prior felon, that was given that long a sentence for an asault case

                  as for your other bogus statement, the appeals court CANNOT overturn merely because he was given extra harsh treatment, AS LONG AS , it wasn’t cruel and unusual, or outside the sentencing range, which it wasn’t

                  so, the appeals court doesn’t disprove my claim

                  again, that might be a misunderstanding, not a lie, since you clearly don’t udnerstand the appeals process

                  again, i was asked for an example and i gave it

                  and you STILL can’t even admit this one, and will use all levels of dishonesty to avoid simply acknowledging what is in front of your face

                  1. The judge said this guy should have known better. He also said the cop had gone a lifetime of “doing good.” He then laid down the sentence. That hardly makes your claim black and white.

                    And I’ve been asking you to show me where a “civilian” would get the same break as cops do in specific cases about a hundred times (at least) on here. All you have is one fucking case, and you beat that “10 times as long as a non-cop” drum until I called you out on it with the actual facts of the case. So this one single, solitary case you use as your shining example of cops being treated more harshly is not only an extreme rarity (since it’s your only evidence), but it’s still unclear whether or not you are correct.

                    Tell you what. Find a second case to support your claim and you’ll be taken a bit more seriously on here.

                  2. Tell me something dunphy. What exactly does this example prove? Are you seriously trying to argue, using this one example of a 20% higher sentence for a cop as compared to the average, that all this police bullshit they get away with (both off duty and on) evens out? Is that your point? Because if it’s not, I think we’re all familiar with the concept of outliers here.

    3. Should have just pissed in his gas tank and called it a day.

  33. Dunphy said I never say anything positive about cops. Well here’s a cop that I want to applaud.

    1. Dude, how can you say that? That’s horrible.

      I mean, taxpayers paid for that bullet.

    2. But dunphy does have his wife Morgan Fairchild make him a ribeye steak for breakfast every day.

      1. troll – o meter: .01

        and a woman’s place is WATCHING me cook, beyotch

    3. correct. i indict cops for the bad, and applaud them for good. you only criticize, and often unjustly

      i agree with gillespie, and the american populace… most cops do a good job

      1. correct. i indict cops for the bad, and applaud them for good. you only criticize, and often unjustly

        Show me an example were I criticized a cop unjustly.

        i agree with gillespie, and the american populace… most cops do a good job

        What do you want, a fucking cookie? It’s their job to do a good job, you asshole. The fact that a majority of cops make it through a day without beating a prole to death is no cause for celebration. Pointing out the abusive and criminal ones should be done by as many people as possible and as frequently as possible. It will bring us more quickly to the day when your crimes are treated as severely as ours are. Meanwhile, patting them on the back for just doing their job is something I will never, ever do. Fuck that. Nobody’s gonna do it for me.

        1. the majority of cops do a GOOD job, slooopy. and most people recognize that, and like us and respect us

          i love that you can’t stand that and you think you have some kind of ‘special insight’ into our evil.

          most cops do a good job, our use of deadly force is remarkably restrained, excessive force while unfortunate is pretty rare, and many cops are correctly held to account for their excessive force, and sadly some aren’t

          of course, iirc, you think that excessive force = crime, so you clearly don’t even understand what it is

          force is a TINY part of our job. you are like the anti-corporate nimrods at DU who will use examples of corporate malfeasance in their vendetta against evul corporashuns.

          you are similarly deluded

          corporations greatly benefit society, and so do cops

          we don’t just do our job, we do a very difficult job damn well and i applaud my brothers for doing what they do

          as do most americans

          over and over i have people walk up to me and thank me, people at calls thank me, even people i ARREST thank me for restraint and professionalism

          i go out to dinner, and anonymous patrons have bought my dinner . this happens quite frequently

          they aren’t looking for anything in return. they do it anonymously.

          THAT’s how much ORDINARY AMERICANS respect us

          i love that you can’t stand it. i love that you think you know better

          it makes me all warm and fuzzy

          1. excessive force should be a crime every time it is proven.

            That “very difficult damn job” meme is mostly a myth.

            And as for doing your job..what do you want, a fucking cookie? It’s your fucking job!

            Accepting gratuities is against the policy of every department I can think of. You shouldn’t do it.

            And 57% is hardly “most Americans.” Matter of fact, that % ranks below every other profession with a commensurate number of people.

            And if you want to know how most people feel about cops, take your uniform and your Oakley Blades off, wear a wig to cover up your military-cut and a shirt that covers up your roid-induced back acne and ask a one question survey:
            When you see a police car pull in behind you, are you
            a. comforted or
            b. nervous?

            That’ll tell the tale.

            1. “excessive force should be a crime every time it is proven.”

              again, this just proves you don’t know what it is. two different agencies in the same state could define excessive force radically differently. it =/= crime. only SOMETIMES does it . in my agency, i can use lethal force, in certain situations where it is EXCESSIVE force for officers in some other agencies. again, this just demonstrates your ignorance

              furthermore, as i have TRIED to explain to you, most instances of force occur during arrest/detention, and we have STRICTER rules for same, then noncops do while making arrests. whenever you critique a cop use of force you need to look for example of NONCOPS in arrest situations to analogize them to. that’s the metric prosecutors look at.

              this, to me , is the best example of your moonbattiness. not only is your analysis of what is or isnt excessive LUDICROUS at times, but this just exemplifies to me that you occupy a very strange world. it’s clear to me that if your vision of how and when cops use force were the law and policy the USA would be in a very bad place. a world of lunacy
              “That “very difficult damn job” meme is mostly a myth.”

              utter rubbish. i have seen so many intelligent, caring, well meaning, skilled people fail miserably within the first couple of moths, it makes my head spin. most people could never do this job.

              “Accepting gratuities is against the policy of every department I can think of. You shouldn’t do a it.”

              it’s not a gratuity under my, or most dept’s guidelines, which are defined as when a business, etc. offers me a SPECIAL deal because i am a cop because it could affect my future behavior, etc. towards them, favoritism, etc. I KNEW you would make an ignorant comment of this sort. if a noncop PATRON buys me (without my knowledge) dinner, that is not considered a gratuity, and our chief has made that clear. since it’s ANONYMOUS, there can be no special favor, treatment, or expectation ot the person giving it

              again… FAIL

              as for your last comment, i felt the same thing before i was a cop. all it means is that we are scared of getting a ticket, etc. and especially scared if we had a beer, etc. so what? that says nothning about how people FEEL ABOUT US. how they feel is evidenced by polling data, by their support AT THE POLLs, etc.

              again, i LOVE that you can’t stand it that we do a good job, that we actually make a difference, that we make this nation a better place, and i love that you can’t stand it

              and spare me the drug war crap, since that is in the hands of the citizenry and the legislature to change

              1. utter rubbish. i have seen so many intelligent, caring, well meaning, skilled people fail miserably within the first couple of moths, it makes my head spin. most people could never do this job.

                That’s why the requirements start with “High school education or GED.”

                and spare me the drug war crap, since that is in the hands of the citizenry and the legislature to change

                Don’t blame us. We’re just following orders.

                As far as your first point, you’re probably more right than I’d like to think. I want to live in an idealized world, where everyone is treated equally and any excessive amount of violence perpetrated upon another person is criminal, regardless of one’s occupation or position in society. Forgive me for wanting equality for all.

                And to my last statement, if you felt that way before you were a cop and only changed your views after you were on the other side, it simply means that you have less to fear than “citizens” do when a cop comes in behind them. It’s just another case of cops not needing to fear other cops since they will most likely treat them differently if they do pull them over.

              2. utter rubbish. i have seen so many intelligent, caring, well meaning, skilled people fail miserably within the first couple of moths, it makes my head spin. most people could never do this job.

                Yeah, it probably sucks for those who bought into the “noble warrior” bit to see the reality and corruption. I wouldn’t be able to be a cop either. Doesn’t mean it’s a hard job. It just means some people have principles.

                1. Yeah, Coeus. Most people have a hard time stomaching the laughing that goes on in the squad room right after a “citizen” is beaten silly for kicks.

              3. furthermore, as i have TRIED to explain to you, most instances of force occur during arrest/detention, and we have STRICTER rules for same, then noncops do while making arrests. whenever you critique a cop use of force you need to look for example of NONCOPS in arrest situations to analogize them to. that’s the metric prosecutors look at.

                As sloopy and I have both pointed out to you, the standards are different because the liability is different. Nobody really gives a shit if a guy who mugged someone gets his ass kicked. The problem is cops getting a slap on the wrist (if we’re lucky) for beating the shit out of a guy who might have committed a crime.

                If Joe Citizen does that, and gets the wrong guy, he gets prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. If the rules were the same for the cops as Joe Citizen, most wouldn’t have a problem with it, since you wouldn’t continually be assaulting innocents.

                And here’s the kicker: You already knew all of that. Once again, you are arguing dishonestly.

          2. i go out to dinner, and anonymous patrons have bought my dinner . this happens quite frequently

            they aren’t looking for anything in return. they do it anonymously.

            no, they do it out of fear.

            1. EXACTLY. when we are eating dinner, we routinely attack diners for not paying for our dinner

              happens all the time!

              and of course we can magickally tell which diner made the payment, which we are only notified as we are done with dinner, which is just about when we charge up our tasers into full drive stun mode!

              1. When I see a cop in a restaurant I’m about to eat in, I make a point to be seated as far away from them as possible. Fortunately, my children feel the same way.

          3. the majority of cops do a GOOD job, slooopy.

            I would find that much easier to believe if it weren’t for the fact that all of these good cops find it so very easy to look the other way as their bad colleagues break the law and abuse citizens.

            Its understandable that they cut their colleagues slack, but that doesn’t make it good.

            and most people recognize that, and like us and respect us

            Bullshit. I don’t know anybody who doesn’t react to the sight of a cop car while driving, with fear and trepidation. People who aren’t in the immediate vicinity of a crime scene are happier when there are no cops in view, than when there are.

  34. Metta World Peace getting it done.

  35. So I found out that the final (14th) Wheel of Time book is due out in a couple of months. Plenty of time to reread the entire series!

    1. THIS IS NOW A WOT THREAD

      1. The next 500 comments will all need to be about dress-smoothing and braid-tugging

        1. God, just posting this made me realize that this is not going to be a fun read.

    2. I quit after nobody important died, yet again, in the 3rd or 4th book. Jordan was like the anti-GRRM.

  36. Before I get accused of running away, I’m letting our resident apologist for special treatment of police officers know that I’m going to bed.

    I hope the rest of you have a good evening and don’t get a nightstick jammed up your bunghole for offending one of your uniformed betters.

  37. Dawg, no way man thats liek totally insane dude.

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