Reason Staff Live Tweets the State of the Union!

The Reason staff once again sets Twitter to stun as we take on the 2012 State of the Union address. Live tweeting starts at 8:45.

For help getting through it, don't forget to play this year's Reason SoTU drinkng game: "There Are Some Who Say 'Drink!'"

Comments

[Anonymous Coward]

Fist of the Union, Bitches!

[CAUTION!]

COMMENTS RETARDED WHEN WET
     ?

["Furious" Styles]

I got $50 that says Suderman Cobains himself first.

[*]

Serious/stupid question: How many of the Reason staff will *actually* be playing the drinking game, or some loose variation thereof?

If Welch is, I want to see him throw a punch or make a pass at someone or something during Stossel.

[drunkerer]

People wants to know.

[WinningTheFuture_WithSalmon]

Playing a kazoo or general busking punctuated by “Come on, fellow, aren’t you a supporter of the arts?” in Czech are probably the most you can hope for.

[Warty]

You don’t have to watch it, guys. It’s not too late yet. There are so many things you could do instead. You could masturbate, you could start fires, you could clean your bathrooms. You can still save yourselves.

[Anonymous Coward]

What if you’ve already done all of that today? As I have?

[Warty]

Well, then you’ve exhausted the list of things to do. You’d better watch Obama.

["Furious" Styles]

Masturbation during the speech is an accepted sign of approval by MSNBC’s crew.

[Ed Schultz]

It BETTER be, or I’ll torch the fuckin’ place!

[.]

Monkeys masturbate in public all the time. They don’t know any better.

[o3]

and they say monkeys are sentient…or perhaps monkeys just dont care. course monkeys also murder monkeys so maybe they are sentient. >like hawkeye said, if that’s a bomb crater, this must be civilization.

[Tonio]

Thank you, Wartster, for saying what needed to be said.

[Nipplemancer]

Everything about the SOTU I will learn from this comment section. I have no desire to burn my house down so the TVs have been unplugged and the remotes hidden from me by the wife.

[Tonio]

You are a lucky man.

[Joe R.]

I learned a lot from Facebook status posts. Apparently, he promised to bribe teachers some more, since the teachers on my friends list were happy.

[Drax the Destroyer]

This raises some questions, primarily, why are they on your friends list?

[killazontherun]

replaying System Shock 2 for the first time in over a decade. A finally made RPG interface though the models are terrible for even that time. I can live with it.

[killazontherun]

Ihave to ask myself, A finally made RPG interface, wtf?

Most likely, the GUI and RPG are well integrated compared to some games (Skyrim) of more recent vintage.

[Shmenge]

You know I prefer the first System Shock more. Still have the original box.

[Nephilium]

I’d have to say, I’d be more impressed with Deus Ex. Mediocre graphics for the time, but a great RPG/FPS game.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Agreed. I loved that if you played your cards right and got lucky, you could take out some of the bosses before the scripted fight is supposed to happen. And once they’re dead, they’re dead as your UNATCO boss jumps down your throat like some stereotypical Police Chief in an 80’s-90’s action movie. Pure, poorly rendered, gold.

[JD]

I’m working on revising my thesis, something I’ve been putting off for the last six weeks. Definitely prefer this to watching the SOTU.

At least Nancy Pelosi is no longer the House Majority Leader so those of you unfortunate enough to have nothing better to do don’t have to watch her clap like a seal all night. Watching her in 2009 made me swear off watching the SOTU forever.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

I got $50 that says Suderman Cobains himself first.

Suderman marries a crack whore? McMegan may object.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

So what shows is he going to be preempting tonight. (I don’t watch Network TV)

["Furious" Styles]

Am I the only person in the country who isn’t losing his shit over Romney paying a 14% income tax?

Shit, that’s fine with me. Can we move on?

[Scruffy the Janitor]

I thought he paid no income tax, just capital gains or what not?

[GILMORE]

THAT BASTARD!!

[Envy]

I’m a deadly sin no more! And if Gingrich wins, my brothers lust, gluttony, greed and pride are joining me.

[annonymous commenter some guy]

That did not turn out well for the brothers Elrich…

[curiousgeorge]

Shit, he GAVE AWAY more money than the Federal Government confiscated from him….where the FUCK does he get off?

[John Kerry]

I only paid 13%!

[capitol l]

Virginia Postrel would have never cheapened this publication with something as juvenile as a drinking game!

["Furious" Styles]

Probably because she has only one kidney.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Unilateral renal agenesis is a real thing and I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to joke about it.

[rather]

and a sober brain, AKA female

[R]

DRINK!

[*]

Anyone got a decent live link? Cnn? MSNBC? FOX?

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Youtube?

[number54870]

stare at a 100 watt lightbulb and punch youself in crouch…its just like fox news!

[Scruffy the Janitor]

The pregame coverage is absolutely ridiculous

[rather]

No comments? Pussies

[Scruffy the Janitor]

For more “serious” coverage..

http://www.cato-at-liberty.org…..-response/

[GILMORE]

ppppft. Serious is for lame-os.

[GILMORE]

As Billy in Predator said… “We’re all going to die”

[Question]

Heck, just the thought of the SOTU had me hitting the Rakia* at 4 today. Not going to listen – his oratory skills leave rather a lot to be desired.

Bulgarian brandy – which they drink at the beginning of a meal, rather than at the end.

[curiousgeorge]

his oratory skills leave rather a lot to be desired.

that’s what she said.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I’m watching this on Fox Business so I can hit the ground running when Stossel shows up. Right now the Judge is yelling liberty at me.

[Bill Clinton]

“shikhadalmia:
Oooo…I really dig Michelle’s angry blue dress….”

Is it used?

[Monica]

STFU bill

[PapayaSF]

Notice how close “STFU” is to “SOTU”? I think this is not a coincidence.

[Tonio]

C-Span coverage “hier.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

So I was just prescribed some metronidazole… thinking about waiting til tommory to take em so I can participate fully tonight.

[GILMORE]

Why not crush them up and snort? Just as effective.

[Tonio]

OK, I Splenda’d the *&^%$#@! out of that linky.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Reason staffers are drinking this?

2 cups ice cubes
2 tablespoons (1 ounce) Domaine de Canton ginger liqueur
10 tablespoons (5 ounces) light lager, such as Miller High Life
1 tablespoon (1/2 ounce) fresh lemon juice
5 (1-inch) pieces peeled fresh ginger cut into thin matchsticks

[Bermudian]

Black Rum, 1 part
Ginger Beer, 2 parts
Lime, 1 slice
Ice

[Mr. FIFY]

Shitload of Jagermeister
Shot of Coca-Cola

[protefeed]

Single Malt Scotch, 1 part
Ice

[PantsFan]

Beer. Remove cap. Drink

[ryan]

After reading the rules, I fear for the participants of the game…

[Arcaster]

Fortunately (unfortunately) I have the most important 3 days of my career starting tomorrow and can’t play. 🙁

[DDCSD]

Did Biden really just say “Mizzurah”?

[GILMORE]

thats actually an obscure jewish holiday

[hazeern]

Plenty of us Missourians prounounce it “Mizzurah.” Not that I don’t hate it.

[Mr. FIFY]

Surprised Biden didn’t call us “hillbillies” in the same breath.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Is it still too soon to make Gabriel Giffords jokes?

[Scruffy the Janitor]

There is a Tina Fey punch line in there somewhere, I’m telling you.

[drunkerer]

And what the fuck would happen if NBC pulled a tim thomas and said fuck you we’re airing the best of community while the dolts talk and clap?

[T. Barnes]

I would have the weirdest boner.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Gabby Giffords in the House.

[Kolohe]

Escorted by Reason fav Jeff Flake

[Tonio]

“The President’s Cabinet” WTF?

[Bam!]

Michelle uses it to hold the Obama’s balls.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Are all the SC justices showing up?

[WinningTheFuture_WithSalmon]

Was that the cover of Sergeant Pepper’s?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Vilsack will be president if the Capitol Building collapses in on itself.

[Kolohe]

All Hail President Pickle!

[drunkerer]

I have an occasional dream where RP wins and at the first circle jerk address he pulls a J.D. but the shitty Winona Ryder character doesn’t stop him.

[Tonio]

Shika, yr tweetz are meow-tastic. We should do lunch.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I predict this is the year the president really plans to get serious about focusing on the economy.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

I think they replaced him with an Alien body double, the actual Alien that initially replaced him probably had to high tail it out do to the solar storm earlier today.

[Kolohe]

Did the dude say “Ladies and Gentlemen, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!” I didn’t hear it.

[Tonio]

“You are not a god…”

[RoboCain]

Holy shit, the President is black!

[Scruffy the Janitor]

You are half correct sir.

[Jerry]

“Don’t get lipstick on me.”

[WinningTheFuture_WithSalmon]

PDQ Bach entered on a zip line. Something for future Prezes to keep in mind.

[Tonio]

Who is up-do chick nxt to Lady O?

[DesigNate]

I think that’s Warren Buffet’s secretary

[oncogenesis]

Why are the fuckers in the chamber applauding????!

[nekoxgirl]

My husband asked the same thing. I can’t remember if they always do that…?

[RoboCain]

I was watching Road to Nowhere, but it was just too boring.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1504319/

[ryan]

Incidentally, ‘Road to Nowhere’ is the title of the President’s speech tonight.

[RoboCain]

GG looks like that chick from Scooby Doo.

[GILMORE]

this country has no fucking dignity. If they actually had any class, they’d sit down, shut the fuck up, and the guy would do his talk-talk without any slavish gestures of obeisance. He’s just a MAN. A MAN!! Not a superhero who just saved the planet from a deadly asteroid! Fuck it,… he IS the asteroid! What the fuck are any of you cheering about?

Sorry, I said I wasn’t going to watch it. I lied.

[Sully]

I hate it when you do that.

[Sully]

I hate it when you do that.

[number54870]

…boo…

[Fist of Etiquette]

I’m watching the Pens Blues game on PIP split screen. Some yinzer a-holes in the seats were waving terrible towels. I like to pretend that was going on in the House chamber.

[RoboCain]

That’s a lot of applause for a man who can’t sing or move a ball.

[gaijin]

Friends, Romans….lend me your…

[Fist of Etiquette]

Applaud if you support the troops!

[gaijin]

wait, Iraq was a success?

[RoboCain]

He lied!

[RoboCain]

No, it didn’t.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Not even Blackwater?

[Anonymous Coward]

There are no Americans fighting in Iraq? Really?

[Mike]

They’re just gonna pretend that Iraq made the US safer and more respected around the world?

[RoboCain]

Yes.

[O'Bama]

I hated and opposed the war before I ran it and gloated about it.

[Bam!]

Did we sell our billion dollar embassy in Iraq? Or is that still mortgaged to the Chinese?

[Drax the Destroyer]

That’s the one that’s bigger than the Vatican right?

[Scruffy the Janitor]

To keep us entertained…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b19Iheu_Tts

[Fist of Etiquette]

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

[Mike]

TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK. LIVE IT

[RoboCain]

We need better looking women on the SCOTUS.

[Nipplemancer]

I wanna hear wrestler style entrance music when the Prez comes out to do the SOTU. And pyrotechnics. And ring girls.

[Nipplemancer]

and Jimmy Hart (is he still alive) to follow him around with a bullhorn.

[curiousgeorge]

Fuck Jimmy Hart, Mr. Fuji is clearly the more appropriate manager.

[Nipplemancer]

Why not both?

[The Doctor of Style, Slick]

Uh, hello?

[Drax the Destroyer]

Sounds like Idiocracy.

[gaijin]

If only we had a commander who told us all what to do…imagine.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They blindly obey their Commander-in-Chief! Let’s all do that.

[Mike]

Solution: America invades America

[Bam!]

Something the red and blues worked together on: Bail out bill.

[drunkerer]

Education leading peoples to nonsense circuis

[Tonio]

Carthage has been destroyed!

[oncogenesis]

Obama: “Congress should be more like the military: answerable only to me.”

[Maxxx]

Obama: I want a Congress of Soldiers.

[gaijin]

back to the future!

[Anonymous Coward]

A future where we’re in control of our own energy

This coming from the clown who shut down the Keystone XL pipeline?

Anger….rising….

[Paul]

Bah, that keystone project was foreign oil. foreign canadian oil. I won’t support terrorism, no matter where it comes from.

[cynical]

He’s using the royal we.

[Tonio]

Bombers = Optimism

[Fist of Etiquette]

They’ll be applauding Tom Brokaw next.

[Baba Wawa]

Me, too!

[Binky]

Enough with the history and the pep talk. What about the State. Of. The. Union?

[Bam!]

I thought Obama was suppose to be some great orator. He’s delivering this speech rather poorly thus far.

[nekoxgirl]

You’d think Obama would have it down since it’s essentially the same speech he’s been giving since 2008 (possibly before).

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

The key to building the strongest economy and middle class the world has ever known means bombing the shit out of all of your economic competitors. Thanks, Obamassiah.

[Anonymous Coward]

Obama just presented a false choice!

DRINK!

[RoboCain]

CLASS WARFARE YAAAYY!!

[ryan]

woo socialism woo

[gaijin]

a country where a shrinking number actually pay taxes.

[drunkerer]

fair shot!!!!!at yor wife>

[Fist of Etiquette]

SAME SET OF RULES!

[Scruffy the Janitor]

“everybody plays by the same rules…”

Surely that is a drink line.

[Mike]

CNN Breaking News: President Obama: “For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country.”

[gaijin]

we have to take our country back..er something.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Goddamn ATMs.

[RoboCain]

Can we make his job obsolete?

[Bam!]

Replace Obama with technology: Elect RomneyBot.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Everyone plays by the same set of rules: #FastAndFurious.

[Maxxx]

It’s not democratic values of republican values at stake hear.

It’s my re election and legacy

[Anonymous Coward]

Technology made business too efficient!

Support your local horse and buggy drivers. Please, they have families to feed.

[Tonio]

didn’t have the authoritay

[GILMORE]

Jesus, isn’t this shit already 3yrs old? He’s listing ‘problems’ that he had plenty of time to do shit about. Results? NOTHING

[gaijin]

so obama will run to re-election against Bush…again?

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

DIDN’T HAVE THE AUTHORITY??!?!?!?

[GILMORE]

last 22 months…. Wait I thought govt created jobs??

[drunkerer]

facts are for kids silly pwesident

[gaijin]

and government created how many jobs?

[Tonio]

so a crisis like this never happens again

[Fist of Etiquette]

Cut the deficit, eh?

[Anonymous Coward]

The State of our Union is getting stronger

Blatant lies are blatant.

[GILMORE]

Hey, he’s privatizing freddy and fanny and ending govt housing subsidy!

[Fist of Etiquette]

I heard yelling.

[Binky]

Geithner’s not drinking ….

Oh, wait, another false dichotomy! ** gulp **

[Maxxx]

Obama:

Only I can obstruct.

You need to do what I want.

[drunkerer]

american valves!!!!!!!!!!

[GILMORE]

Manufacturing! Govt subsidy has kept cars in existence!

[Pedantic Guy]

The union — the nation — is at all times in some given state. There is, always, a state of the union.

When the president stands in front of Congress one January night to talk about this state, he is giving an address.

This January-night event, then, is not the “State of the Union.” It is the “State of the Union address.”

I couldn’t care less what shorthand we plebes use in a blog thread, but it drives me nuts when the professional communicators on TV and in print do it. No, you nitwits, Obama isn’t “delivering the State of the Union” tonight. He’s delivering the State of the Union address.

Is it as grating as an “Oversize Load” sign on the back of a truck? Not quite. But it’s close.

[O'Bama]

Just don’t point out the Oversize Load on the back of Moochelle.

[gaijin]

built to last…wasn’t there an album by some group called grateful dead?

[Fist of Etiquette]

We fucked over creditors.

[Anonymous Coward]

Did Obama really just declare GM and Chrysler to be political victories? And did he just say GM is the world’s number one auto maker?

[Arcaster]

Yep. Fancy accounting that man uses.

[GILMORE]

Any DRINKs yet?

[Kolohe]

and Ford wasn’t bailed out.

[Maxxx]

I always knew he was a crappy car salesman.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Yes, that’s what he said about Govt Motors.

[gaijin]

we bet…with other people’s money. But you shouldn;t.

[Tonio]

It’s like an unpleasant medical procedure, I’ve already disassociated.

[Maxxx]

Obama:

I want to make all of America like Detroit.

[Fist of Etiquette]

HE SAID PITTSBURGH! He’s got my vote.

[Bam!]

Who the fuck is clapping when they’re not suppose to?

[Scruffy the Janitor]

“what is happening in Detroit can happen in other industries…”

Gotta be my favorite line

[Ford Henry]

The American auto industry is back … polluting the hell out of the environment.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

WHAT’s HAPPENING IN DETROIT CAN HAPPEN EVERYWHERE!?!?!?!!?!

[Tonio]

Unionized plant!

[Maxxx]

Our labor is now cheaper than China’s

Hurrah!!!1!!1!!!!

[drunkerer]

manufacture me some good porn. I’ll vote for you.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

ahem Bullshit!!

[Maxxx]

Firing the president will bring some jobs back.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

I’m going to bring jobs back to my country by hiring children to do dangerous jobs.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Translation: Increase Taxes…

[Binky]

Q: Ask yourself what you can do to bring jobs back.

A: Vote for Ron Paul.

[number54870]

i live in milwaukee…masterlock shipped most of their jobs to mexico in the 90s because of union costs

[GILMORE]

Oh! He’s going to lower taxes for businesses domestically!… (wait… no, just punish people using overseas suppliers)

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Second: same as first increase taxes!!

[Bam!]

How much did Masterlock pay for this product placement and endorsement?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Master Lock product placement.

[Anonymous Coward]

Obama’s solution to high taxation on businesses is to raise taxes on multinational businesses.

Fucking brilliant.

[Tonio]

What about a vastly simplified, flatter tax code?

Oh, too simple, right.

[nekoxgirl]

What, and put all those good people at H & R Block out of business?

[drunkerersest]

a minimum tax for lowering taxes. i gets its USASUAUSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAA

[Binky]

Pay taxes to lower taxes.

Fixin’ that tax code, biotches!

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Third: Subsidies for certain industries, in certain locations

[gaijin]

special interests for everyone…step right up and we’ll decide who gets em.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Fuck it, we’ll just give you your profits.

[HopeyChangey]

lol

[GILMORE]

WE NEED TO MAKE TAXES MORE COMPLICATED!!

[Tonio]

^This

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Does MasterLock make chastity belts?

[JD]

Heard this before. Nothing ever happens with business taxes to stop outsourcing.

[RoboCain]

My message is simple: “Read the Communist Manifesto”.

[gaijin]

^^lol

[rather]

locks are being made is the US?
must be the growth of the BDSM movement

[rather]

locks are being made is the US?
must be the growth of the BDSM movement

[Maxxx]

Obama will take crony capitalism to eleventy.

[gaijin]

we doubled exports, but screw globalization.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Like the Chinese trade embargos on tires etc.

[robert]

Did he just say he was gonna sign tax reform?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Give me those tax reforms, and I’ll forgo that five days posting new bills online and sign it right now! I know, it’s hard to believe.

[GILMORE]

more protectionism!

[Dagny T.]

More monkeying with the economy through the tax code! More confusing and difficult to administrate “incentives”! Jesus he has a hard on for manufacturing.

[Discount Double Choke]

I’m not watching, so what did Obama say about Pittsburgh? Please tell me he didn’t talk about manufacturing jobs. There isn’t a single steel mill left in Pittsburgh today, and only like two in all of Allegheny County. The big industries now are high tech, medical, and education. Manufacturing is actually a smaller share of the local economy than in the average American city.

[Bam!]

China mongering, great.

[Mensan]

Every multinational company should have to pay minimum taxes? So, he’s saying we should charge corporate income tax on foreign companies?

[GILMORE]

No – US business working abroad.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

“I’ll go anywhere in the world…” including back home to Kenya.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Pirates!

[Bam!]

Who the fuck keeps clapping after every line Obama says? It’s one person.

[Tonio]

Apparatchiks, the word you’re looking for is apparatchiks.

[Barack Sebelius]

We will not stand idly by as those Chinese cheat.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Don’t mention SOPA, you idiot.

[GILMORE]

trade enforcement! more bureaucracy! it solves everything!

[Tonio]

A surge in Chinese tires…and a SOPA plug.

Trade Enforcement Unit.

[RoboCain]

Oh, for fucks sake

[Maxxx]

How dare those foreign bastards out subsidize us.

I’ll bomb ’em.

[killazontherun]

Obama: America most fundamental problem, not enough ghost cities!

[killazontherun]

^our

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Really server squirels? A birther joke is spam?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yeah, China is all over letting you inspect their shit.

[drunkerersest]

Trade enforcement unit? oh fuck me now.

[robert]

Oh, tax reform on China. Clever.

[Anonymous Coward]

Jesus Hay-Zeus Cristo, Obama wants to declare economic war on China.

[GILMORE]

its a feint.

[Kolohe]

Hey, like he said, fighting a war with a rising authoritarian industrial power is how we built the middle class in the first place.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

This is not spam.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Server squirrels.

[gaijin]

he really is that ignorant isn;t he?

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Hi there.

[Mensan]

Awesome! The Trade Enforcement Unit! I was hoping he would create another bureaucratic agency.

[Mike]

He’s talking like he’s working for a C- in trade liberalization. Improvement?

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Fucking server squirrels.

[Tonio]

Single mom…siemens…

[Maxxx]

I’ll solve unemployment by forcing companies to hire the unqualified.

[Binky]

LOL 8-(

[Scruffy the Janitor]

So mechanics to tech industry works plan?

[Scruffy the Janitor]

more picking winners in industry.

[rather]

she needs to spend a little on a new hairdresser

[Binky]

Cut to normal person. Drink to Jackie!!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Let’s train one American to be an effective president.

[Tonio]

OK, Jackie is up-do chick.

[gaijin]

cause we know in advance what skills we should be training for in the next decade…we have a crystal ball.

[Bam!]

How can the government know what skills will lead directly to a job, Mr. Obama?

[sudden]

That is the sound of the bind market tanking

[sudden]

BOND*

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Can’t find workers w/ the right skills. Thank you government education monopoly…..

[gaijin]

There can be only One!

[Dagny T.]

A centralized government run website will save us all!

[Fist of Etiquette]

And that one website is ATTACK WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH! (dot com)

[RoboCain]

Well, to be fair, getting by on her looks wasn’t an option.

[rather]

Post your pic, honey

[drunkerersest]

who the fuck is jackie and why does the prez wnat to give her a website for her issues?

[robert]

another government website, cause they work so well.

[Anonymous Coward]

A re-employment system that puts people to work

Comrade Obama’s Five-Year-Plan will determine where your labor is best suited.

[JD]

Seimens the German company or some American company I am unaware of?

[RoboCain]

Seimen Everywhere!

[rather]

Swallow, your mommy doesn’t want to clean up after you

[edcoast]

I wonder if his speech writer even knew.

[Tonio]

If you loved how we consolidated agencies into DHS, you’ll love what we do with unemployment bureaucracy.

[BigT]

“…train prople for jobs…”

Wasn’t that called High School? Isn’t it free everywhere already?

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Train 2 mil ‘Mericans… Again, thank you, failed govt controlled education.

[BoscoH]

Boehner needs a cigarette.

[Mensan]

Where? What state has layed off thousands of teachers?

[Bam!]

Obama is confusing “education” with “schooling.”

[Dagny T.]

Teachers! MATT DAMON!

[GILMORE]

TEACHERS UNION BAILOUT!!

[ryan]

I’m going to go crazy if Joe Biden doesn’t stop blinking

[gaijin]

but I thought good teachers were in it for the kids, not the money…

[Tonio]

No teacher accountability.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You know what? Teachers are awesome.

[Binky]

“A website in every pot.”

[Bam!]

I swear, the Obama people have planted a clapper who is suppose to rile up the crowd.

[SIV]

LucyStag:
Katie Hooks holding two dogs: “this is bullshit. This whole segment.” [via Twitter]

Katie Hooks still hasn’t learned to operate her Twitter?

[Dagny T.]

The federal government is totally the appropriate level to talk about which teachers are good and which are not. This makes perfect sense.

[Mensan]

Did he really just say we should support merit pay for teachers? I don’t think the unions are going to like that.

[BigT]

“Students not allowed to drop out”

The schools are JAILS now !!!

[Tonio]

When students are not allowed to drop out (or be expelled).

WAREHOUSING!

[BigT]

“Students not allowed to drop out”

The schools are JAILS now !!!

[BoscoH]

Let’s make all the crappy teachers unemployed.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

What the fuck is this graduation requirement crap.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Chicken, ….um, jobs of tomorrow

[Sergeant at Arms]

Who T.F. is the clapping idiot?

[gaijin]

oh jeezus…

[virtually.angry]

Wait he just said we have a generation of untrained and uneducated workers, but we need more of the same teachers who got us here.

[robert]

Did, I miss the shark?

[GILMORE]

Im still sober. WTF

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Chicken, ….um, jobs of tomorrow

[Bam!]

No Child Left Behind 2.0

[Tulpa]

Yahoo News is competing with you guys. They have a pretty stout lineup.

During the speech, our liveblog will feature real-time discussion and analysis from Yahoo News and ABC News journalists.

Also participating will be Jeff Greenfield, Anna Holmes, Noam Scheiber and Rebecca Traister.

Jeff Greenfield, a veteran political correspondent and the host of PBS’ “Need to Know,” is the author, most recently, of Then Everything Changed, which will be published in paperback next month.

Anna Holmes is the creator of Jezebel, the women’s pop culture and politics website, and a contributing columnist to the Washington Post.

Noam Scheiber is a senior editor of the New Republic and author of the forthcoming book The Escape Artists.

Rebecca Traister, a contributor to the New York Times Magazine and Salon, is the author of Big Girls Don’t Cry: The Election That Changed Everything for American Women.

Reader comments to the liveblog will be moderated by Liz Goodwin, a national affairs reporter for Yahoo News.

You know where I’ll be.

[Tonio]

“wE’LL RUN OUT OF MONEY…”

HAHAHAHAH

[gaijin]

states need to subsidize the gap!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Mandatory higher education?

[GILMORE]

Fist of Etiquette|1.24.12 @ 9:35PM|#
Mandatory higher education?

We need to be more like Egypt

[Bam!]

If they can require you to buy health insurance, why not a college degree?

[rather]

who done just that

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

More govt requirements!!! You can’t drop out even if the school sucks!! Yay!!!

Personally, the main thing I learned from teachers is that govt employees are idiots.

[Mensan]

Increasing student aide is causing the skyrocketing tuition, dumbass!

[JD]

“A college in every pot!”

[Tulpa]

By the way, I was lying about Ron Paul earlier.

[Dagny T.]

I love immigrants! That’s why my administration deports more of them than any other!

[Kolohe]

Why don’t we just make college mandatory?

[Tonio]

“I will sign it right away” for the second time.

[drunkerersest]

yeah dumb women. won’t make as much as men. fuck them. i agree with obamam here.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Don’t debate this legislation, just write some fucking thing down and I’ll throw my John Hancock on it.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Is ‘comprehensive’ part of the drinking game?

[RoboCain]

This page keeps hanging.

[SIV]

I though it was just me

[Binky]

It’s a high tech lynching.

[GILMORE]

his message – “none of these issues occurred to me until just tonight… which is why I’ve done nothing useful about them so far…”

[Margie Promise]

Raise wages and lower prices!

[Anonymous Coward]

Don’t let other countries win the race for the future

Judges?

It’s a DRINK.

[Level the Playing Field]

You know, bombs slow ’em down considerably.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You have to spend money to spend money.

[Kolohe]

Yeah, it be awful if someone else cured cancer.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Can I have equal pay for the same work as a Congresscritter? I’ll bang a page for 6 figures.

[Dagny T.]

Here we go on energy. Whither Keystone pipeline?

[JD]

Didn’t China just celebrate the New Year? We’re winning the future!

[RoboCain]

No kidding.

[WinningTheFuture_WithSalmon]

shikhadalmia: Obama’s Schools as Gulag plan…could work! [via Twitter]

It’s called a “Schoo-lag”

[Fist of Etiquette]

Don’t try to verify my claims, just go with it.

[Tulpa]

I actually think mandatory graduation is a good idea.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

you disappoint me.

[curiousgeorge]

I wish I was surprised by it.

What are you going to do when the students turn 18 and still can’t graduate?

[hey curious, try a dictionary]

“What are you going to do when the students turn 18 and still can’t graduate?”

What part of mandatory do you not understand fuckwit?

You DO know what it means don’t you?

[curiousgeorge]

why are you such a dick?

[Tulpa]

Because I have no tolerance for stupid motherfuckers like you that ask idiotic questions.

[Tulpa]

spoof, obviously

[curiousgeorge]

then why don’t you go through your regular daily routine of popping a xanax and shutting the fuck up?

[Tulpa]

NO actually, this is MY NAME FROM NOW ON FUCKWIT.

AND there’s NOTHING you can do about it.

[every sex partner of scruffy]

“you disappoint me.”

That’s what we said.

[Tulpa]

It’s a fucking spoof. Apparently I have a fan.

[Tulpa]

I also lie about Ron Paul.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Bullet-proof vest that can stop any bullet

A fire so hot not even god can touch.

Anti-cancer medication so awesome it cures mortality!!

Government can think it therefore it can do it!!

[RoboCain]

Woops, comment thread fail.

[GILMORE]

Obama restricted offshore oil drilling after the spill in the gulf… wha happen now?

[BigT]

How did Steven Chu get out of jail?

[Y Zguise]

Chu’ed his way out.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

RT: mcmoynihan Michael C Moynihan
Women earn less money? Hire all women and…save money!

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Jesus Christ stop fucking clapping after every fucking line.

[Anonymous Coward]

If I were elected to Congress,I would have just screamed “like Solyndra?” at the top of my lungs.

[drunkerersest]

experts wiill drink

[GILMORE]

Subsidies for natural gas…

[ryan]

‘buys into the fantasy of government-created green jobs.’

[virtually.angry]

Fracking!!! Oh there’s the key word – safety. I quess we can’t do it.

[Kolohe]

“Not only that – last year, we relied less on foreign oil than in any of the past sixteen years”

High prices and a weak economy reduce demand. Whowouldthunk?

[Mensan]

Same thing I said out loud when he said that.

[John]

Back in the 20th Century they had a name for mandatory higher education; reeducation camps.

[Maxxx]

Today we call it Stimulus.

[rather]

chemicals to be listed in fraking….selling my gas stock

[GILMORE]

… basically, ethanol redux

[Fist of Etiquette]

Government yay.

[Tonio]

Government support is critical

[TomD]

I haven’t watched any of this thing tonight, and I haven’t read any of the tweets/commentary about it yet, but let me take a stab at what’s happening:

There’s a human standing on a stage, talking to a few other humans, describing all the things he wants to force 300-million-something other humans to do.

Am I close?

[Dagny T.]

Plus some things he wants to force yet more humans in far off foreign lands to do too! Now do you see why we’re all drinking?

[TomD]

Now do you see why we’re all drinking?

Well, “it’s nighttime, and alcohol exists” is already a sufficient reason for me, but yes — I can certainly see you’re drinking.

[TomD]

“why you’re drinking”

[Mensan]

I’ll maximize domestic oil and natural gas production by saddling the companies with more regulations and restrictions.

[SIV]

FRACKING!

[GILMORE]

here we go… prepare for the CLEAN ENERGY DRINK

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Bullet and puppy teeth proof vests are THE FUTURE!!!!!!

[drunkerersest]

30 years? i’ll do it in 15.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Public-private partnership, stealing Newt’s thunder.

[virtually.angry]

Screw solar! It’s high tech batteries this year.

[rather]

Jackie and Bryan

love match!

[Tulpa]

Jesus, why can’t he be the victim of a drive-by like any normal black man…

[Tulpa]

spoof

[Tulpa]

NO actually, this is MY NAME FROM NOW ON FUCKWIT.

AND there’s NOTHING you can do about it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Luxury yachts. [spit]

[GILMORE]

ooh! Solyndra reference… ‘some fail!’

[JD]

Not matter how much of your money I waste on it!

[annonymous commenter some guy]

Thanks H&R. Once again you have filtered a BS political speech into something palatable for me.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Obama: concentrate on everything.

[Bam!]

How does Obama know that clean energy has promise?

[O'Bama]

“Some companies fail, but, goddammit, we’re still gonna waste more money!”

[drunkerersest]

I know Brian. He’s a dick. Fuck his subsidy.

[Mensan]

Double down on Solyndra!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Subsidize my voter base now!

[GILMORE]

ITS TIME TO FIND NEW INDUSTRIES TO SUBSIDIZE

DRINK NOW – HE SAID “CREATE THESE JOBS”

[virtually.angry]

Yes end susidies. Damn, I meant double them for my contributors.

[John]

Public private partnership is one of my favorites because the private sector could never do anything without the guiding hand of government.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

I’m developing natural gas. Damn beans.

[Anonymous Coward]

End the subsidies for big oil! And give more subsidies for wind and solar (GE).

[Bam!]

Governments don’t create markets, dumbass.

[Binky]

“The bullshit in this chamber may be too deep …”

[Binky]

“The bullshit in this chamber may be too deep …”

[Binky]

Awesome double post, eh?

[Dagny T.]

The rare, mythical bifurcated double post. Server squirrels > SOTU

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Obama: See government sets regulation and that creates new markets!!! Genius!!

[JD]

Sailboats for the Navy!

[Fist of Etiquette]

These claims becoming sad.

[RoboCain]

Let’s fuck up the military too!

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

So govt created fracking and it’s destruction of the environment?

[Bam!]

Obama increases subsidies to politically-connected clean energy “investors”. What else is new.

[drunkerersest]

no mere beer. how do you use bath salts. waste energy? get off the fucking tv you fuck.

[Mensan]

Oh great, congress won’t do what he wants, so emperor obama will act on his own again. This doesn’t seem like it’s going the wrong direction at all.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

The important thing to keep in mind is that It’s Not Obama’s Fault.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Hahaha “largest commitments to clean energy in history”, I wonder what the carbon footprint of over $500 million burned up by Solyndra is.

[PapayaSF]

For liberals, intentions count more than results.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Brian for president!!!!!!

[GILMORE]

NOTHER CREATIN JOBS DRINK

[Tonio]

mmmmm…construction workers….mmmmm

[Scruffy the Janitor]

From Obama supporter friend of mine:
Sam Smith
is watching President Obama kick ass at the State of the Union tonight… Now THIS is the guy I voted for!

[Mensan]

Sam Smith is an idiot

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Michael…when he has the power to run Congress singlehandedly, let me know.

My response

Well he does have control of the Executive branch and let’s see, we gotten an increase in deportations, a more aggressive policy toward medical marijuana, Fast and Furious. He did commute that one ladies crack conviction, so I guess that is 1-3??

[John]

That is just pathetic.

[John]

From an old G/f of mine. She has it about right.

Jodi
Boycotting that big speech thingy that has Twitter all abuzz. I’m sick of hearing words from all of them. Blah. Blah. Blah. Means nothing. It’s all disingenuous crap from both sides of the aisle. Disgusting

[Mensan]

No bill creates jobs! It just spends more tax money!

[rather]

Obama’s dating: service

Who Done Just That? ? ?

[Anonymous Coward]

ROADZ! BRIDGES! BROADBAND!

[Kolohe]

You’d figure ‘lower energy bills by 100 billion dollars’ would be a pretty good incentive.

[number54870]

bridges be shitty

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Walk away from Brian. Please.

[JD]

*Except pipelines.

[Fist of Etiquette]

petersuderman:
JJ Abrams is totally directing this. LENS FLARES… EVERYWHERE.

Obama’s about to reference some red matter sitting the gallery.

[Tube Rube]

Now we’re gonna help rural stay-at-home moms with a series of tubes.

[GILMORE]

I declare “NATION BUILDING AT HOME” a DRINK

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Comprehensive!!!!!!!

[Dagny T.]

NATION BUILDING AT HOME. Drink ALL OF THE drinks.

[juris imprudent]

Pleeeese god majke it shtop!

[RoboCain]

An executive order to ignore legislation?

[Anonymous Coward]

Nation-building at home

Can we be policed by soldiers and murdered by drones too?

[RoboCain]

Yes.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Constuction workers weren’t included in the “innocent Americans” group?

[Kolohe]

Boo cheap houses!

[GILMORE]

NATION BUILDING= IT WORKED IN IRAQ, WE CAN DO IT HERE!

[GILMORE]

TAX THE BANKS… THAT WILL INCREASE LENDING!

[Sergeant at Arms]

Clap again, you sucker!

[ryan]

‘Take this red tape, and use it to tape up that red tape!’

[Tulpa]

I’m surprised by how well he’s doing. I’d vote for this guy.

[Tulpa]

spoof

[Tonio]

Construction workers again, ftw.

Sake
Melon Liquer
Shake with crushed ice. Serve straight up.

[Dagny T.]

I like both your drink idea and your email address. Newsletter, subscribe, etc.

[Mensan]

So now he’s going to tell the banks that they have to refinance mortgages, and pay a fee for the privledge of following his mandate.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Send me a bill that creates these jobs, and stops the tide from coming in.

[Gannicus]

Obama’s skin color looks gangrenous.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Sure, next to Boehner’s healthy hue.

[John]

And he is clean and surprisingly articulate.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Smart reg-ah-lations.

[Tonio]

Smart regulations. LOL.

[Binky]

“Apply the same rules top to bottom.”

** Crickets **

[Bam!]

What will prevent irresponsible regulations?

[O'Bama]

‘No Bailouts, no handout, no cop-outs. Let’s borrow the money to pay for everything!!”

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Hoover Dam, Golden Gate Bridge, and other big projects that the Greens would block.

[John]

That is especially galling.

[PapayaSF]

How about the Keystone XL pipeline? No…?

[Mensan]

But I though Bush deregulated everything?

[robert]

No, the bush era was overly regulatory. We have always been at war with eastasia

[heller]

Government is the “top,” citizens are the “bottoms”

[GILMORE]

…whoa, he just suggests a dozen new regulations, bureaucracies, and then says, “I’m lean and mean bitches!”

[Anonymous Coward]

I’ve approved fewer regulations than my Republican predecessor

Or, he’s shovelled shit on your head at a slower rate than W. Thank him for it.

[Bam!]

Obama: I’m announcing the construction of national scape goat, allowing the government to pin its problem on something else, thereby allowing us to get re-elected.

[Gannicus]

Will any of those regulations be Obamacare or Dodd Frank?

[Kolohe]

but not sell it raw of course.

[JD]

*But not raw milk, that’s still toxic.

[Fist of Etiquette]

IT BETTER NOT BE A RAW MILK SPILL.

[GILMORE]

I’m still sober. Someone help.

[Tonio]

Cleaning fluid?

[heller]

That joke was redeemed by Obama’s look of idiotic self-satisfaction after saying it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Gulf spill? Referencing one of your own failures in an election year?

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

I’ll give you the banks’ money if you vote for me!!! Yay!!!!

[ryan]

Holyshitthisguyisstupid

[drunkerersest]

Can we raw milk board the potus?

[Bam!]

This really is Obama from ’08: Saying everything simultaneously.

[O'Bama]

‘…protect your kids from mercury poisoning … unless it’s in those damn expensive new light bulbs.’

[Mensan]

He says one or two sentences that actually sound kind of reasonable, and then comes the applause line where he get loud and contradicts all the reasonable stuff he just said.

[GILMORE]

He’s hitting up women, teachers, construction workers, and hippies for his votes this year

[Anonymous Coward]

health insurance companies had the power to

Instead my regulators will have the power to deny you coverage, deny you payments, and charge women different rates than men.

[JD]

I, I, I, I. We have a dictator in office.

I will not go back to the days before free shit.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Wall Street gets results you stupid chief!

[heller]

Obama sez, “more COMMAND less ECONOMY”

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

I’m still sober. Someone help.

Personal. Responsibility.

[GILMORE]

That’s someone else’s problem.

[Tulpa]

NO actually, this is MY NAME FROM NOW ON FUCKWIT.

AND there’s NOTHING you can do about it.

[Bingo]

Fuck off rather

[rather]

Asshole, I like Tulpa…sometimes
Just in case you are reading this spoofer, I have a list for you 😉

[Dagny T.]

Bailouts are bad now that I’ve done them all.

[RoboCain]

“I promise to place the current clusterfuck, with a better boondoggle”

[GILMORE]

NO MORE BAILOUTS! (except for the ones I do all the time, or the people we’re subsidizing…)

[Somalian Road Corporation]

Government must protect people from making risky decisions. No bad consequences could come of this, surely.

[Kolohe]

“And I will not go back to the days when Wall Street was allowed to play by its own set of rules”

Can I borrow from the Fed window, then?

[ryan]

Richard Cordray looks more like a neutered chihuahua

[O'Bama]

“Bnakers, We’re not bailing you out again.”

“Haha, just kidding!”

[JD]

Are we still allowed to elect a government we can’t afford? It’s so confusing.

[Two-Thirds of America]

Fuck, yeah!

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Got rid of one rule!! Yay!!!!

[Joe Wilson]

“We’re not bailing you out ever again.”

You lie!

[Mensan]

An unconstitutional watchdog appointed without any legitimate legal authority.

[Bam!]

No more bailouts! Except for continuous bailouts of green energy.

[Tulpa]

I am quite happy to admit that he really is impressive.

[Tulpa]

NO actually, this is MY NAME FROM NOW ON FUCKWIT.

AND there’s NOTHING you can do about it.

[Tulpa]

Funny thing is, I only have to tag a few of your spoofs as such and then everyone knows what you’re up to.

[Tulpa]

Yes GENIUS!

Completely discredit all Tulpas, you’re a fucking GENIUS!!!

[John]

WTF?

[Tulpa]

Shut the fuck up you lying, thinks Islam is thousands of years old retard.

[John]

I guess someone forgot to take their meds tonight.

[Tulpa]

You think Islam is thousands of years old, who the fuck cares about whatever stupid insults you try?

[John]

Islam started in the 7th century you halfwit. Now take your meds and crash.

[Tulpa]

“Islam started in the 7th century you halfwit.”

Whiuch is why we laughed so hard at your idiot ass when you insisted otherwise yesterday.

If you took meds, would it help you be smart enough to know Islam isn’t thousands of years old like you claimed it was yesterday?

[John]

You’re right, I did make the mistake of claiming Islamic militancy was thousands of years old.

That was dumb.

[Tulpa]

We know.

[Tonio]

FTW, John, FTW. Credit where due.

[Tonio]

I really should have noticed it myself, I take serious meds and could have easily recognized the behavior.

[John]

I hope you are not on whatever he is on.

[John]

See, that wasn’t him, it was me.

LOL @ YOU john, you stupid “thinks islam is thousands of years old” motherfucker.

[Tonio]

Wow, my first time being spoofed. I’m honored.

[Tulpa]

It’s the beloved spoofer.

[Tulpa]

Wow, that was actually the spoofer.

[curiousgeorge]

No one wants to hear what you think of Obama’s package.

[Tulpa]

Stop chasing me around the thread because I hurt your feelings cunt.

[curiousgeorge]

Don’t flatter yourself, I’ll only be responding to the ones where you set yourself up so nicely.

Ok, that might keep me busy for awhile.

[Tulpa]

“Don’t flatter yourself,”

Don’t have to with you chasing me around because I hurt your feelings like you did.

[drunkerersest]

repeat offender? anyone that votes for obama again or endorses him

[Fist of Etiquette]

Like tax fraud, Geithner?

[virtually.angry]

More government agencies and investigations. Just what we need.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

RT: StephenTruax Stephen Truax
what is “do some nation building right here at home”? / is he bombing domestically now? #SOTU

[GILMORE]

We want to increase lending to business… but we ALSO want to tax banks, increase regulations, and punish a wide variety of overseas investments….

That makes sense!

[Tonio]

“Attorneys General,” Mr President, not “Attorney Generals”.

[Mensan]

Corpseman?

[B O]

Screw you. I’m a man of the People.

[Tulpa]

A lot of these ideas really aren’t bad.

[Tulpa]

NO actually, this is MY NAME FROM NOW ON FUCKWIT.

AND there’s NOTHING you can do about it.

[virtually.angry]

Ok here it comes … the hard choices.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Shit Obamanaughts say:

“The State of the Union is not so much as a list of promises as it is a charge to American citizens to essentially enact the change that we seek. Politically, Presidents have their hands tied to make change without upsetting the masses. The great thing about the State of the Union address is that it is an opportunity for the President to encourage us to take action in order to better guide the government in what the people want.”

[John]

The people must prove they are worthy of Obama’s rule.

[TomD]

Which fuckwit coughed up this load of inanities?

Christ, the romance that people attach to this shit is just stunning sometimes.

[TomD]

It’s just such a misapprehension of what America was actually designed to be.

[free2booze]

Making choices. Do we want to increase the deficit by $2 trillion, or $3 trillion.

[GILMORE]

WARREN BUFFET AND SECRETARY DOUBLE DRINK

[Anonymous Coward]

Warren Buffett’s secretary!

DRINK!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Buffet’s secretary? Really?

[Dagny T.]

WARREN BUFFETT SECRETARY is the new MATT DAMON.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

#drinkincynicismanddespair must trend on twitter.

[virtually.angry]

damn. DRINK

[heller]

WHAT IS THAT AND WHY IS IT QUIVERING WHILE GETTING CLOSER TO ME???

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Fuck, that’s a smug Obama face the web chose to freeze on.

[Mensan]

Warren Buffets secretary can risk all her money and live on capital gains if she wants the same tax rate.

[JD]

Don’t put thoughts in my brain, Mr. Dictator.

[virtually.angry]

I should have put the cooler by the couch.

[Fist of Etiquette]

TAX US!

[Scruffy the Janitor]

DRINK!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Buffett rule!

DRINK again!

[Kolohe]

Buffet Rule – Drink Pina Colodas.

[Tonio]

Nice.

[Whahappan?]

Margaritas.

[Tonio]

Flatter, fairer tax code?

Too soon, again.

[GILMORE]

BUFFET AGAIN DRINK

[Somalian Road Corporation]

And here comes to pandering to those perpetually envious of the productive achievements of others.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You can have $700,000 out of every mill, fuckers, and like it.

[GILMORE]

DRINK SECRETARY

[free2booze]

Did Obama take all of his special tax deductions when he filed his taxes?

[Fist of Etiquette]

YOU’RE ASKING THE BILLIONAIRE TO PAY THE SAME RATE NOT THE SAME AMOUNT.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Can’t afford, and deficit,

Double DRINK!!

[Nipplemancer]

And then Tulpa’s stalker shows up out of nowhere…

[Nipplemancer]

And I cry like a faggot bitch about it for no reason whatsoever, because I really am so incredibly arrogant that I think people need me to narrate the happenings in the thread for them.

Yeah, I am that much of a tool

[Nipplemancer]

Manic again are we rather?

[Nipplemancer]

Manic again are we rather?

[heller]

OR YOU COULD CUT SPENDING YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

[Bam!]

Buffet pays more than his secretary. In fact, he pays more a year in taxes than she’s made in her entire life.

[Anonymous Coward]

Why not just refuse to take a salary if you’re so concerned about the deficit, Barack?

[John]

Or tell the old lady to take a few less vacations.

[curiousgeorge]

Exactly, each Michellecation costs more than his yearly salary.

[GILMORE]

BECAUSE WE CAN NEVER REDUCE SPENDING!! IT HAS TO COME OUT OF SOMEONES POCKET

[Mensan]

No asshole, tax breaks don’t add to the deficit! Overspending adds to the fucking deficit!!!

[Binky]

False di*hick*chotomy!

[JD]

Stop telling me what I know.

[drunkerersest]

Ovama is so beatable in the ge

[free2booze]

Billionaire’s should pay as much in taxes as their secretary? 15% of $1 Billion is a hell of a lot more than 28% of $60K.

[GILMORE]

Oh shit, after a dry spell… that was a rush of DRINKS

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

I’m not kidding. The smug look on Obama’s face that the web chose to freeze on will haunt my nightmares.

[virtually.angry]

Well I quess there are no hard choices. Only new taxes.

[John]

+100

[Bam!]

Or fees, if RomneyBot is elected.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Washington is broke.

[GILMORE]

Secret billionaires coming!! DRINK prepare

[Fist of Etiquette]

Town halls will fix that divide.

[Mensan]

WHAT A FUCKING LIAR!!!! The debate wasn’t over paying the bills or not, it was over taking on even more crushing debt! FUCKING LIAR!!!!

[robert]

isnt insider trading illegal already?

[curiousgeorge]

Not for members of congress.

[Amakudari]

It is illegal for exactly everyone except for those in Congress and on the Supreme Court.

[Anonymous Coward]

The corrosive influence of money in politics

Come on, Barry. Say Citizens United. SAY IT!

[Tonio]

“I will sign it tomorrow.” Third time.

[virtually.angry]

I don’t know why a group that does the most insider trading is applauding.

[rather]

Is he trying to piss off Pelosi and the crying guy?

[free2booze]

Corrosive effect of money in politics… says the man who is well on his way to raising a half billion dollars for his re-election campaign.

[John]

He is not talking about THAT money.

[Tonio]

Spoof all you like, all I have to do is ignore you.

[Fist of Etiquette]

So, we’ve completely abandoned that five day online legislation posting before signing thing? Obama has been so consistent up to now on that.

[Sheeshel Peeshel]

Quit with the “signing tomorrow” promise-breaking already.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Nathan Lane in that judge’s robe looks bored.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Finally……

[GILMORE]

‘lean and mean’ progressive government is a contradiction in terms.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

government leaner, quicker, more responsihahahahahahhahaha

[Fist of Etiquette]

Lower the temperature! Global warming legislation!

[Tonio]

The prez is a dem?

[Emperor of the World]

Consolidate the Federal Bureaucracy.

[heller]

Abe Lincoln quote was said with a straight face

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAGHBHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHSAIDAHKFLASKJGNB;O8YERLHMYVASLH.JTGFHTDAGHS RJDHYBRASDZVBHEJYBTASDFHGANSDHD N

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Agree with that last statement but it so BULLSHIT!!!

[JD]

Actually, in his mind there isn’t anything that individuals can do better for themselves than government can do for them. So he actually believes that bullshit.

[JD]

Bullshit!

[virtually.angry]

And no more. Please piss off now.

[free2booze]

Getting rid of regulation.. by adding more regulation

[John]

The more you spend the more you save.

[Nipplemancer]

John, you claimed Islam was thousands of years old yesterday.

Shut the fuck up you ignorant twat.

[Nipplemancer]

psychotic cunt calling someone else an ignorant twat. Don’t you have a dozen or three cats to feed rather?

[rather]

fuck off nipple; that wasn’t me you paranoid groupie

[RoboCain]

ROADZZZZ!!!

[SIV]

roadz!!1!

[Fist of Etiquette]

People can’t regulate themselves out of competitiveness better themselves.

[heller]

WE CAN’T WAIT X3

TAKE THREE SHOTS

[GILMORE]

Ouch

[GILMORE]

He just fucking proposed like 3 different activist-government interventions into the markets… including extensive oversight of lending, education financing, green energy, and on and on… but, no, we’re going to do it *leaner*?

[Tonio]

for the folks back homE?

WTF?

[Bam!]

Obama seems to randomly inserted words that have tested well in focus groups into policies that do the opposite. Increasing government control of schooling improves education competition.

[virtually.angry]

I CAN DO A WHOLE LOT MORE. LIKE ADD ANOTHER TRILLION TO THE DEBT IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.

[Dagny T.]

“I can do a whole lot more” the President threatened.

[John]

+100

[Lotta Guise]

Can the United States make a rock so big we can’t pick it up?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Collectively, Americans can do anything. Individually, fuck you.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

+1

[RoboCain]

“Now lets all get naked, hold hands, and sing This Land Is Our Land”

[heller]

It’s about time, you fucking asshole

[number54870]

so he wants more power to consolidate power to the executive branch?

[Tonio]

Yet how come my coworkers husband just got sent to ‘ghan?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Afghanistan? Is that thing still going on?

[killazontherun]

I got a cousin who is scheduled to redeploy in mid to late Spring, if Obama is talking about pulling out, he is lying. Pussy would never challenge the generals in charge.

[Bam!]

Oh jeez, we’re going into Syria. Fuck all mighty.

[free2booze]

Yup.

[Dagny T.]

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE bitches.

[virtually.angry]

Sounds a lot like Bush right now.

[free2booze]

Airstrikes against Syria!

[RoboCain]

You’re a murderer with American blood on your hands, shithead.

[B O]

Takes one to know one.

[Satan]

I deny human dignity!

[Anonymous Coward]

Afghanistan wasn’t a source of attacks against America to begin with, you jug-eared moron!

Bin Laden was hiding in Afghanistan and refused to give him up, which is why the US attacked. 15 of the 16 9/11 hijackers were Saudis!

*Going to down a double shot*

[Kolohe]

W00t! Yearly Tomahawk testing in Syria! Buy your Ratheyon stock now! (and it’s not even insider trading)

[Tonio]

But not the homos

[Anonymous Coward]

So who are we going to invade next? Syria or Iran? Bets?

[free2booze]

Syria

[Nigeria]

Whew!!

[John]

Syria but we will be bombing Iran too.

[Nipplemancer]

Iran. Once the EU’s sanctions kick in, they’ll try to blockade the Strait of Hormuz. Then the Iranian Navy will be no more.

[Bam!]

Syria first. After victory, we use it as a staging area for a full ground invasion of Iran.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

“Tyranny is no match for liberty.”

Said with a straight face.

This man is boss.

[Binky]

No, Scruffy the boss!

[RoboCain]

WAR BONER!!!

[free2booze]

Yes, Iran is more isolated than ever before… unless you count Russia and China

[Bam!]

“Take no options off the table” — Except talking with them. I ain’t doing that! No sir, no how.

[JD]

I am determined to out-war Bush!

[Fist of Etiquette]

The “do nothing” option is off the table, just so you know.

[Binky]

Drinking nothing is not an option.

[virtually.angry]

Damn’t Iran your next. This is what a Noble Peace Prize looks like at the end of a TLAM.

[Somalian Road Corporation]

bomb, bomb, bomb Iran

I expect those leftist “antiwar” protesters will rematerialize any day now.

[rather]

Obama loves jews
Jewish vote, check

[Bam!]

Isreal’s security? Why is that America’s responsibility? And why aren’t they paying us for that?

[Nipplemancer]

We have to protect the 51st state. It’s in the bible and stuff.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Mission accomplished in Burma?

[virtually.angry]

Closer than the the US-UK alliance? Really. God this is awful.

[Tonio]

Canada?

[Tonio]

Because nothing sez influence like drone strikes.

[rather]

They love us; they really love us

[free2booze]

Obama the Neo-Con?

[Fist of Etiquette]

The world loves the United States in the gutter with the rest of them.

[heller]

Proof that America is not in decline: The Berliners love us!

[RoboCain]

“Eric Holder
No Talent House Nigger”

[GILMORE]

cyberthreats?

fuck, its going to be the new global warming.

[Ray]

Sweet, Fifth Element is on.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Demi Moore almost ruined that fine film.

[John]

Good thing we didn’t elect that war monger McCain.

[John]

By the way, just yesterday I said yet another stupid thing, I claimed Islam was thousands of years old.

I’m wrong a half dozen times a day, and yet my dicksucker never closes.

[John]

I guess we shouldn’t indulge you. It is probably bad for your condition long term. But I suppose since you are already in this state, probably better to let it run it course until you crash.

[John]

You lied.

You blame me for pointing it out.

Which sounds about right for you.

[rather]

They were afraid to clap on the cyberthreats statement, lol

[Rural Mom]

I’m still getting my free high-speed internet, right?

[Fist of Etiquette]

I don’t care for that wallpaper.

[Dagny T.]

Start with shameless “support our troops” platitudes, end with shameless “support our troops” platitudes. I think I’ve got the formula down.

[Nipplemancer]

the easiest way to support our troops is to keep them employed by starting new wars.

[JD]

This.

[GILMORE]

Add jews, veterans to the pander-list

[Fist of Etiquette]

Geez, even Michelle looks bored.

[Michelle]

Let’s move!!

[GILMORE]

gay pander! (allusion to DADT)

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

I’m too drunk to applaud the troops #FTroop.

[ryan]

“Serving one nation” Iran?

[heller]

Republican, democrat the all encompassing dichotomy.

[virtually.angry]

What the hell would he know about serving unless it was self-serving.

[Kolohe]

Because public safety agencies don’t primarily hire vets now, and pretty much always have. (and at the fed level, by affirmative action rules)

[John]

And God forbid we take or foot off the neck of the economy so that maybe said vets could actually get jobs on their own.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Some may be libertarians who donate to Ron Paul.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

No love for the gay troops?

[Tonio]

OK, the homos, FTW. Thanks, Mr President.

[Dagny T.]

No homo marriage for you, Tonio. But you should vote D anyways, for some reason, mmmmkay?

[Dagny T.]

Aaaand an Osama bin Laden jizz for the money shot. I fucking knew it.

[heller]

Ooooooooh Hillary got burned

[Anonymous Coward]

The American people need to be more like the US military. And…

OBEY!

[Fist of Etiquette]

(that bitch)

[GILMORE]

I KILLED OSAMA MOTHERFUCKER

[virtually.angry]

Most likely those SEALs, like a lot of the military is for Ron Paul.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Schumer’s in love.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

RT: BillCorbett
Forcibly group-gay-marrying all of Congress, while they sat there helplessly? WOW, Mr. President! #SOTU

[Mensan]

He’s really milking the “I KILLED BIN LADEN” angle isn’t he?

[Dagny T.]

What else does he have? God, he is pathetic.

[Tonio]

Well, it is an accomplishment, and did happen on his watch. Credit where due.

[TomD]

And so the message is? We should reelect Obama so that… what? So he can kill Bin Laden again?

[JD]

And we will be watching you at all times. For your safety, of course.

[GILMORE]

oh shit, this is the end… a collectivist rhetorical finale

[drunkerersest]

fuck me

[Tonio]

Boilerplate.

[free2booze]

This nation is great, because we steal money from person A, and give it to person B

[Anonymous Coward]

Thank God, this shit is over!

[Bluto]

Let’s GO!!

[Bam!]

Well that sucked.

[curiousgeorge]

And now, a response from the man I wish was running for president.

[GILMORE]

I say not enough DRINK (chugs remainder of bourbon)

[heller]

Well I’m not as wrecked as last time.

[juris imprudent]

I told you Welch’s recycling job would be better than this.

[Nipplemancer]

it’s over? I can plug the TVs in and watch Storage wars now?

[drunkerersest]

no. idiots about and talking

[Kolohe]

So it turns out that rather than being a Secret Muslim, Obama is a Secret Prussian. Who knew?

[Dagny T.]

OK, I can’t stomach the postgame blather. All of you magnificent, drunk bastards who made this somewhat less painful by providing laughter through the tears, I bid you good night.

[John]

The Bin Ladin shit is really unseemly. I don’t think that dog is going to hunt as well as he thinks it will.

[John]

By the way, just yesterday I said yet another stupid thing, I claimed Islam was thousands of years old.

I’m wrong a half dozen times a day, and yet my dicksucker never closes.

[John]

Just get it out. Get it all out. The maniac phase should end soon.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

All I can say is I have more love for empty promises.

[John]

By the way, just yesterday I said yet another stupid thing, I claimed Islam was thousands of years old.

I’m wrong a half dozen times a day, and yet my dicksucker never closes.

[TomD]

By the way, just yesterday I said yet another stupid thing, I claimed Islam was thousands of years old.

Spoof fail. John tends to misspell stuff once in a while, but I don’t think he’s a comma-splicer.

[John]

It is interesting how to worst leftist trolls always accuse me of being a homosexual like that is some kind of an insult.

[TomD]

Well, it’s little stuff like that which reveals the whole “progressivism” scam for what it really is: It has nothing to do with actual egalitarianism — with respecting and dignifying the lives and lifestyles of actual human beings — but is rather about paying lip service to Arbitrarily Defined Groups? in the service of power.

[SIV]

Twitter
shikhadalmia:
Gabby looks like she’s been shot again….Or she’s just waking up!

Come hang out in the comments gutter with us Shika.

[RoboCain]

So basically:

1. Steal more money
2. Kill brown people
3. ??????
4. PROFIT!!

[Nipplemancer]

did you expect anything else?

[RoboCain]

Alas, no.

[Nipplemancer]

Me neither, which is why I didn’t watch.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Oh, now it is time for the media to tell us what to think.

[John]

So now to the post game. Is Chris Matthews getting a thrill up his leg?

[.]

Which leg – the middle one?

[goober1223]

You give him too much creadit.

[goober1223]

You give him too much credit.

[virtually.angry]

Not a single damn thing to cut from the government/budget. Only new agencies, taxes, adn government control.

[TomD]

Law of the instrument

[virtually.angry]

You are correct sir, but I prefer MASLOW’S HAMMER! So much more fitting of this forum.

[Fist of Etiquette]

So he’s signing bills on the way out the door?

[John]

Autographs.

[Fist of Etiquette]

What am I going to do with you, John?

[Anonymous Coward]

Obama claims credit for killing Bin Laden, but will he take credit for killing Anwar Al-Awlaki too?

[John]

I thought that too. What, isn’t he proud of killing Al Awalaki?

[RoboCain]

Well, for starters most people don’t know who he was…

[John]

They know. And his killing was a big counter terrorism win, right?

[RoboCain]

No, not really. It didn’t get that much press. Osama Bin Laden, otoh, was more infamous than Lindsey Lohan.

[John]

He wasn’t Bin Ladin but I think most people know we whacked and American citizen.

[robert]

and his kid

[Mensan]

So, you’re saying Obama should use his new powers to assassinate Lindsey Lohan?

[RoboCain]

Or at least create a new agency to regulate her.

[Anonymous Coward]

The same might be said of you, once Obama decides there’s enough “secret evidence” against you that you should be marked for termination without trial.

[John]

I was being sarcastic AC. If it was a big win, why not tell the world? If it wasn’t a big win, why the hell did we just cross such an awful line?

[RoboCain]

You mean my comments here aren’t enough?

[Anonymous Coward]

No. I think you have to make videos in Arabic and post them on Youtube.

[RoboCain]

But I can barely speak Mexican!

[Mr. FIFY]

Just tell Obama you’re a member of the LP, and you have a Ron Paul sticker on your car.

[Mensan]

OKay. I’m making a white russian, lactose intolerance be damned!

[In Soviet America]

White Russian makes YOU!

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Die in a fire. #Branson

[Attila the Huh]

Huh?

[TomD]

That ex-Soviet comedian guy is probably relegated to playing clubs in Branson, Mo. — I think that was the implication.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

In Soviet Russia, Branson clubs play you.

[Mr. FIFY]

I’d pay to see Yakov clubbed in Branson!

[Bam!]

I hope Mitch Daniels knocks this rebuttal out of the park.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I’m pretending that Mitch is currently flanked by Newt, Mitt, Rick and Ron.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Mitch Daniels: GOP, don’t just point out the Obama follies that any moron can see for himself.

[Two-Thirds of America]

But NDAA helps crippled people!

[rst]

Adding standing ovations to the drinking game was a big goddamned mistake.

[Lifer]

Heh. Thought you said standing ovulations.

[rst]

I think a saw a few of those too. Especially around the “equal pay” parts.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Daniels is killing my buzz.

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Pussy.

[Jack Daniels]

then.

[Anonymous Coward]

We might pick the wrong light bulb

Very droll, Mitch. Very droll.

[robert]

OT: this from a facebook post.

” Maryland has a SEED Program. I’d like to see this program grow into all counties in Maryland (and beyond). Students of low income families test into the school, and make a major commitment to graduate college and go onto college. The SEED SCHOOL is a boarding school program. To me, it’s like a modern day orphanage. It works. Why? Because we teachers and staff raise the AT RISK students better than their messed up parent, foster care home, or group home.
4 hours ago ? 1

[COXSWAIN HARDY]

Off to bed. Tired. Drunk. Cranky.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Pansy.

[Binky]

WHAT?! No “God bless America”?!

[JD]

Where is Daniels’ speech being streamed?

[PantsFan]

In my nightmares?

[PantsFan]

In my nightmares.

[airic]

As a Hoosier, a benefit of Daniels is that he called a truce on social issues. I just wish he would call out the Indiana Supreme Court on its ruling that Hoosiers cannot stop the illegal entry of a cop into a home

[Arcaster]

Agreed.

[capitol l]

Kunitz ftw.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ride that streak into the All-Star break.

[capitol l]

Hell yes.

I hope you took a break from insulting our dear leader to watch Fleury’s dazzling OT performance.

[Fist of Etiquette]

No, like an idiot, but I have it recorded so I will definitely have a look. I turned it back on just as Geno did his thing.

[PantsFan]

Jets need to learn to shoot the damned puck.

[Fist of Etiquette]

James Neal leads the league. Can’t really go wrong throwing the puck at the net.

[Lewis H]

Hey Guys. What did I Miss?

[Banjos]

Dumbledore not only was Harry’s father, but a ghost the entire time.

[Almanian]

The important thing is that Los Tigres de la Troit picked up Son of Fat Boy (AKA Prince Fielder). Like father like son in the D? We shall see. The young man brings a big stick. With the pitching the Tiggers have, 2012 could be fun.

BACK TO NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO POLITICS!

[Almanian]

The important thing is that Los Tigres de la Troit picked up Son of Fat Boy (AKA Prince Fielder). Like father like son in the D? We shall see. The young man brings a big stick. With the pitching the Tiggers have, 2012 could be fun.

BACK TO NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO POLITICS!

[capitol l]

I remember when Poppa Fielder (AKA Godzilla) invaded from Japan, had three great years, threw a bat 400 ft into the crowd, and then disappeared like Kaizar Soze.

Way back when 50 hr’s was a big deal, and Barry Bonds was as big as I am.

[Bingo]

Is he still vegetarian?

[A Conservative Teacher]

In case anyone is interested, I have up my notes and comments in a lengthy blog post over on my website. If you’ve recovered enough to revisit it, check it out at
http://aconservativeteacher.bl…..-note.html

[Bingo]

Thanks, I love lengthy blog posts.

[TomD]

Requiring a Google account for commenting is lame.

[TomD]

I.e., make it easy for readers to interact with and respond to your thoughts. Not restrictive and cumbersome.

[drunkerersestsssss]

i wish matt or megan or david had asked to have ‘humanitarian’ added to their description.

[Arcaster]

So I got busy on facebook and didn’t keep up with the comments on here. I’m happy to report that they’re still hilarious reading them after the speech.

[Miss Universe]

I want World Peace. tee-hee.

[A Serious Man]

If there’s a silver lining to this it’s that I got to troll the shit out of the Obama fellaters on the HuffPo live blog thread. They don’t react kindly when I mention the fact that Obama has been a corporate whore for GE, GM, Solyndra, and whomever else donates to his campaign.

[Bingo]

Hope & Change

[AlmightyJB]

Step away from the 800+ comments carefully.

[AlmightyJB]

Step away from the 800+ comments carefully.

[Scoldy the Griefer Troll]

Reason is running out of sharks to jump.

[fitter, healthier]

and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics

[Martha]

@Anonymous Coward :Masturbation during the speech is the sign that you are a lost cause.