Food Freedom

Maker of Twinkies, Wonder Bread Going Bankrupt; Ho-Hos Will Work the Streets for Cash

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Is it a market failure or a market success that Hostess Brands, maker of such well-remembered but apparently little-purchased commestibles as Twinkies, Suzy-Qs, and Ho-Hos, wants to declare bankruptcy to restructure its business and dodge its creditors? Will the streets run red with cherry fruit pie filling? In its Chapter 11 filing, the Texas-based company lists assets of between $500 million and $1 billion, debt of $1 billion, and annual sales of about $2 billion. It employs 19,000 people.

If Twinkie the Kid and the rest of his posse are looking for a culprit, they might pull the trigger on changed eating habits:

Last year, 36% of Americans ate white bread in their homes, down from 54% in 2000, according to NPD Group. Meanwhile, about 54% ate wheat bread, up from 43% in 2000.

Consumption of healthy snacks is growing, too. About 32% of Americans ate yogurt at least once in two weeks in 2011, for instance, up from 18% in 2000.

"We're less likely to be snacking on items that we shouldn't be snacking on," said Harry Balzer, chief industry analyst for The NPD Group, a consumer marketing research firm.

I'm not sure I'm buying that argument in its totality, but there's no question that sliced white bread, especially Wonder Bread, went from being the staff of life for upward-striving post-War middle-classers to being a cultural touchstone for all that was bad and wrong with America. Whether we're buying less of the stuff—or feel less in need of the myriad ways it supposedly enriches our bodies—I don't know. But there seems less a role for white bread in a world where even the Olive Garden is pushing rustic loaves of yeast and flour.

More here.

Catch a sugar-rush flashback with this 1972 commercial selling the sweet, sweet snacks of Hostess as a way to shut up the whining kids who are now holding the company's paper:

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  1. If you can’t turn a profit selling junk food to Americans, you are the worst businessman of all time.

    1. Maybe people are finally getting the message that half of sugar (fructose) is processed just like alcohol?

      1. Why does that make a difference?

        1. Sounds like a selling point to me…

        2. Alcohol is processed by the body as a poison. So is fructose. People who would never let their children drink alcohol let them drink sugary sodas, and eat candy and sweet cakes.

          1. Do you realize how fucking stupid that makes you sound? Fructose is fucking fruit sugar – shit that humans directly evolved to metabolize and turn into energy. Claiming it’s a poison has got to be the stupidest fucking thing I’ve heard all week.

    2. FTA:
      Additionally, Hostess employees are unionized while most of its competitors aren’t. As a result, Hostess has high pension and medical benefit costs.

      Could have a little something to do with it.

      1. Yup, that explains how it’s possible to lose money selling lard to lard-asses.

      2. No shit. How the fuck does the jacket miss the most important part of the goddamned story??

        1. Too busy maintaining his Justin-Bieber’s-creepy-uncle hairstyle, I guess.

        2. that is exactly the question. A cursory look at American waistlines indicates no lack of overconsumption of anything. It’s not low sales, it’s high expenses.

    3. Even tastes in junk food change.

  2. Typo city, Nick. For a website called Copy Editing

  3. C’mon guys. I can’t keep this company afloat by myself. As good a they are, there is a limit to the number of boxes of Twinkies that I can consume in a week. And you have no idea how much lard it takes to fry a Twinkie properly.

  4. The ad makes it look like Twinkies were a darker shade back in the day. Maybe sitting on a shelf for 40 years lightens them? They must not have tested for fluorescent lighting…..

    1. Twinkies have gone through a lot of changes through the years. Animal shortening likely made them darker than now, and the changing of the combination of dyes to make the yellow color. A lot of food dyes were banned in the ’70s.

      Of course Anne Blyth’s skin tone looked a bit odd in that clip. Maybe it’s the old film’s color rendering as much as anything else.

  5. That you call a Chapter 11 filing “dodg[ing] its creditors,” when it is precisely the opposite (and in a publicly documented process), proves that you don’t know the first thing about how bankruptcy actually works. But this is “Hit & Run,” after all, so why should we presume you know what you’re talking about?

    1. It’s not dodging creditors- but it’s eliminating debt. It is dodging the promises it made to those creditors, yes?

      1. Well… yes and no.

        As long as there’s a finite pile of money that Hostess has access to, and that pile is smaller than its debts, somebody getting stiffed, bankruptcy filing or no bankruptcy filing. Bankruptcy law allows the stiffing to be done fairly, in accordance with the expectations the creditors had going in.

        1. Bankruptcy law allows the stiffing to be done fairly,

          Unless, like GM, you’re a Friend of Barack.

      2. Bankruptcy is a valid punishment to lenders who make stupid loans.

    2. This is the crowd that thinks Obama stiffed the GM bondholders all by himself.

      1. No. He had Congress’ help. And yeah he fucked the bond holders and a lot of average people with legitimate tort claims. Oh your kid was paralyzed by a defective GM product? Fuck you, the Union gets theirs.

        1. Pension funds are creditors too, pal. Have been for years.

          Only on redneck AM radio are facts routinely ignored.

          1. Pension funds are what are called unsecured creditors. They get paid last. Generally tort victims are higher on the priority list. Congress made a law that said in GM’s case they were not.

            It is called knowing something about bankruptcy law. Since you don’t know anything about virtually every subject, I am sure the concept of actually knowing ones ass from a hole in the ground his foreign to you.

          2. The beef with the GM bankruptcy is that the usual priorities were junked in favor of priorities that helped Obama’s political supporters at the expense of others.

            1. The bankruptcy judge ordered the priorities and followed long established precedent – see airlines and steel.

              1. No he didn’t. The bankruptcy judge gave priority to the union contracts because that was in the bailout law.

                1. GM bondholders originally proposed a 41% equity stake for union.

                  http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/…..fer=canada

                  BEFORE filing chapter 11.

          3. Pensions are the same as secured creditors, christ-fag morons.

            1. Current workers’ wages and union contracts are not. Moron. Now go jerk off that picture of the pope you keep, you religion obsessed little weirdo.

              1. Successful Troll is successful.

            2. BUZZZZZ…wrong answer! Sorry, but the Wall Street Journal declares you to be the christ-fag moron in the room.

              http://blogs.wsj.com/bankruptc…..itor-list/

              According to WSJ, the top unsecured creditor in the bankruptcy filing is the The Bakery & Confectionery Union & Industry International Pension Fund at $944.16 million of the company’s roughly 1 billion dollar debt with union benefit funds accounting for 16 of the top 40 unsecured claims. Care to try again?

              1. That is a sock you are replying to.

                And anyway, the judge/trustee will decide the priority.

                1. because the judge/trustee always knows best, right, and because the rest of us be assured the judge/trustee has no political or ideological interest in the outcome. Perhaps for his next trick, this person can explain why only specific Chrysler dealerships (read: those not prone to supporting Obama) were targeted for closure in that part of the DC takeover of cars.

                2. I know it’s a sock but I was shocked by the numbers when I first saw them yesterday and, besides, it’s fun to poke a hole in one to see how they twist reality and start name calling when shown to be blatently wrong.

          4. Only on redneck AM radio are facts routinely ignored.

            Oh, so you’re unfamiliar with anything Deborah Wasserman Shultz has ever uttered, then.

            1. is she also a radio entertainer?

              1. No. She is a snake haired circus freak with fangs.

              2. She does have a face made for radio…

              3. She is a routine ignorer of facts.

      2. Let’s just say that GM and Chrysler had unusually fast and smooth bankruptcies. Amazingly fast. Shockingly fast.

        I’ve seen people whose total property in the whole world is a mobile home and a 1999 Ford Ranger have a harder time in bankruptcy court.

  6. I already made a “Twinkie defense” joke the other day, so that’s been covered if anybody’s worried. But now I’m hungry for Ho-Hos.

  7. come to think of it… a long round cream filled treat called a “Twinkie”?

    1. wearing only cowboy hat, scarf, boots and really big smile…

    2. They’re still warm…

    3. I’m guessing maybe it was the inspiration the other way around?

  8. It’s all that slut Little Debbie’s fault!

    1. I tried those once, and so must strongly disagree with your contention.

  9. It’s like that urban legend about Edison and light bulbs that never burn out but manufacturers preferring one that burned out. They should have made Twinkies with an expiration date.

    1. Planned obsolescence. It worked out for General Motors for a while.

      1. It wasn’t even like GM planned it that way. It was that after the war people wanted a new car every couple of years. Since the consumer planned to get rid of the car in a couple of years, they didn’t care if it lasted more than that. If the customer doesn’t care if the product lasts more than two years, why spend the money making it last longer?

        1. I had always thought that people got used to buying a car every few years because they didn’t last much longer than that.

          1. No it was the opposite. It was a status symbol to buy a new car. People loved buying new cars. The Japanese and Germans made cars that lasted for years. But they didn’t sell well. That is until the great inflation and people had less money to spend and thus wanted their cars to run longer. Now the culture is different. People don’t value having a new car like they once did.

            1. People don’t value having a new car like they once did.

              That’s true, but I imagine that’s largely the consequence of a better market for used cars (Carmax and “certified pre-owned”), which is a relatively recent development. I would never buy a used car from some douche with a used car lot, but I’ve bought used three cars from Carmax and one from a Toyota dealer – companies that stand behind their products.

              Also, cars just last longer now. I remember in the 80’s my father being amazed that his car was still running fine at 125,000 miles. Twenty years later, my Acura had 205,000 miles on it and was running fine when I sold it.

              1. There has also been a massive increase in technology and reliability. That makes owning a used car much better now. Even if GM had put all its effort into it, it wasn’t going to make a car in 1955 that would go 250K+ without a rebuild like you can now. Now I think you are a sucker to buy a new car. By a slightly used certified one.

                1. Maybe not in 1955, but in 1966 Volvo built one that, as of 2007, had lasted 2.6 million miles. With proper regular maintenence, which almost nobody does, most cars could last hundreds of thousands of miles.

        2. and don’t forget Ford. They were the worst at it, not that they are really much better today.

          1. When was the last time you even drove a Ford? I own a 1996 Ford Explorer. It has 165,000+ miles on it. The only things I’ve had to do to it is replace the spark plugs and the alternator. It does have some minor electrical problems (getting the moon roof closed is an…interesting process), but other than that it runs like a champ.

            My family has owned pretty much nothing but Fords (or Mercuries, which are just Canadian Fords). They’ve all been pretty much the same; they are damned dependable so long as you properly maintain them, and sometimes even if you don’t. My dad still uses a 1993 Mercury Villager minivan, which he doesn’t take care of at all and that has 250,000 or so miles on it, as an around-town car. Same thing with his 1990 F250, which we just used a month or so ago to tow a heavy trailer 630 miles.

            Now, they did get pretty shitty in the early 00’s. But since 2006 or 2007, they’ve been getting a lot better. Certainly better than GM shit. It’s one of the reasons they didn’t need a fucking bailout. Right now I’d put them on par with Toyota.

    2. But, how else are we going to survive Iran and their nuke?

    3. There is an Edison bulb in a NJ firehouse that’s been burning for a hundred years.

        1. Right `cheah.

          But it’s in Cali, not NJ.

          1. Also note it’s actually not an Edison bulb, but was made by a competitor.

          2. I stand corrected, I really thought it was a firehouse in Fort Lee.

      1. And yet I just bought a CFL for my workshop which died after maybe a month, at most – and most of that time, it was off. It probably had a total of maybe 10 hours on it. Then it just stopped working.

        1. I haven’t had a single CFL last even close to what is indicated on the box. Whatever method they use to estimate bulb life is pure crap.

          1. Well, a bit of anecdotal evidence on the other side. I installed CFLs in places where light quality isn’t important and lights are likely to be left on. They are used frequently and I have replaced none of them in 6 years.
            Turning them on and off too much or having inconsistent voltage can shorten the life of CFLS.

            This is in no way to be interpreted as support for any sort of light bulb mandate or restriction.

      2. There are Edison bulbs, as well as bulbs made by his contemporaries, all over the place that still work.

        If you’re willing to trade efficiency and light quality for reliability, you may have a 1000-year light source in your kitchen already – just turn one of the electric burners on your oven all the way up, and the warm glow will keep your kitchen lit for centuries.

        Not lit well, and not without paying big bucks for electricity, but it’ll practically never burn out.

        Many of Edison’s original designs were reliable for similar reasons. After you get 95% to the ‘perfect’ incandescent bulb, you can start trading efficiency, light quantity, light quality, and reliability.

        1. Yup. Also note that that 109 year-old bulb is a whopping 4 watts. It puts out a meek little orange glow as a night-light for the fire station.

  10. Being a native of PA, I of course have never had a twinkie, having been weaned from an early age on far superior Tastykakes of every shape, flavor and color.

    Buttscotch krimpets are the crack of snack cakes.

    1. Didn’t Tastykake also file for bankruptcy recently?

    2. Didn’t Tastykake also file for bankruptcy recently?

    3. Buttscotch? God, people in Philly are messed up.

      1. I’ve had one. It’s disturbingly delicious.

        But Tastykake is no Hubig’s.

      2. I read it as ‘Buttscrotch’

        However messed up Philly folks are, I’m apparently worse.

        1. Don’t feel bad. I read “Tastykakke” the first time.

    4. Pennsylvania?

      Shoo-fly pie. I mean, c’mon – nobody from Kutztown/Allentown area?

  11. It might have helped Hostess to keep their product on the market.In New Zealand round about 1978-1982 you could buy Twinkie’s here…then they just disappeared.Haven’t seen one since. Shame as they were tasty and popular…oh well.

  12. Well, I’m waiting for my “thanks”.

  13. Chocodiles! NOOOOO!

    1. Are you actually able to consume any of their products anyhow?

  14. You’re not buying the argument that after decades of prodding about eating habits and the profusion of higher-quality tasty-foods has caused people to eat less garbage?

    I wonder how much insulin i’d have to take to eat a pile of grilled whitebread&fakecheese; for lunch…

    1. And yet, we’re fatter now than ever!

      1. Kinda gives you the idea they might not know what that “better diet advice” is?

        Or maybe they just don’t wanna admit it?

      2. “we’re fatter now than ever”

        >speak for yourself fatboy cause some of us keep in shape.

    2. Plunge out the whole pen just to be sure. (No, I’m kidding, please don’t.)

      Prior to the discovery of insulin they used to put diabetics on a meat-only diet.

      1. normal syringe. I couldn’t get the hang of the pen for some reason.

        but yeah, the whole suggestion was a farce. my 4-grilled-cheese lunches are a thing of the past 🙁

        1. Hey, just grill the cheese without the bread. That way there’s no big glucose pulse.

  15. Heard about the Hostess Chapter 11 thing yesterday on my truck radio. They were talking about the joys of Twinkies. I hadn’t had one in 30 years, so I stopped in at the gas station and bought a couple packs. Good God in heaven, these things are barely edible and can not by any stretch be considered food. The “cream” filling, particularly, is hideous. It has no cream quality whatsoever. I am certain it is merely whipped oil with a bunch of sugar added.

    1. Are you saying you don’t enjoy the taste of stale chemicals made from government subsidized soybean and corn?

  16. Those are some nappy-headed Ho-Ho’s.

  17. even the Olive Garden is pushing rustic loaves of yeast and flour.

    WTF??? Try to get whole wheat pasta there. “Sorry, linguini only.” And they menu makes no mention of it.

    1. Can someone explain Olive Garden to me? Even the smallest towns around here have a local Italian joint that’s been around for decades and makes most of their stuff in house yet Olive Garden comes in and is packed at all hours of the day despite worse food and higher prices. If there is ever an example of market failure, this is one.

      1. It is a market success. Bland people want bland food and a bland corporate entity exists to serve it to them, and in copious quantities.

        1. There is probably less downward risk going to such place. If you pick a local restaurant, the food can be much better, but also much worse. So better be safe than sorry. Unless of course you actually take time to investigate the local restaurant market.

          1. Dave Barry called this a quarter-century ago.

            I have studied American eating preferences for years, and believe me, this is what people want. They don`t want to go into an unfamiliar restaurant because they don`t know whether the food will be very bad or very good, or what. They want to go into a restaurant that advertises on national television, where they KNOW the food will be mediocre. This is the heart of the Mister Mediocre concept.

            http://articles.chicagotribune…..basic-menu

            1. Yep. And they demand alcohol. A lot of mom & pop places can’t get liquor licenses or have sub-par bar service.

              One thing I’ve noticed about restaurants owned by Darden, their bar service is always very good and prompt.

            2. Somebody here on H&R once suggested that if you’re in a strange city, ask the cashier at the local convenience store/gas station where they’d take their mother/spouse out to dinner on their birthday.

          2. In a world with yelp and google places, and lots of other sources of restaurant ratings, there is no excuse anymore for going to eat Big Chain Bland Shit over the locally owned deliciousness.

            1. May not help. Some places have quirks that wouldn’t review well. For instance, this Chinese buffet place I used to go to before I moved had fucking awesome food…IF you showed up at the right time, which was either just after a big rush or just after they opened. Otherwise, the food was likely to have been sitting there for several hours and didn’t taste very good. That place would get a shitload of bad reviews from people who tried to show up “early” for dinner to beat the rush or just got there at a bad time.

      2. Big liquor selection. All you can eat bread and salad.

      3. Yeah, theyre way overpriced for what you get. Especially considering the horrible service.

      4. I noticed that some dozen years ago. A sweet little mob connected family would move in, trying to start over in a small town, almost every town had one, and bring with them excellent food. Only to have the chains come in a few years later. I actually don’t mind some of the fry joints for a beer on tap, or a cheap mixed drink, but the Olive Garden is Goddamn disgusting.

      5. It cannot be explained. Louisville has a number of great, locally owned italian places (that do good business), but they dont have a 1.5 hour wait like the OG.

        Good for me, I guess.

        1. Great town. Never been disappointed. Every few years we hike and do cave crawls up that way.

          1. Louisville is a very well kept food town secret. Local restaurant wise, we punch well above our weight.

            Ive mentioned it before, but supposedly (I havent been able to verify, but Ive seen some numbers that make me believe it could be true) Louisville and Lexington are the top towns for eating out. Residents eat out more times per week than anywhere else in the US.

            And, due to the local restaurants, a lot of national chains avoid us, as they cant compete (although the ones we have do pretty good). Olive Garden does just fine. As does the Macaroni Grill and Carabbas across the street from the OG. All 3 are within 2 blocks of each other and all are packed all the time. But, like I said, the local Italian places do well too.

            Sort of a weird paradox.

            1. I have been to Louisville twice. I love it. It is like a smaller, cleaner, nicer Atlanta. It is a great city. I would live there in a heartbeat.

              1. We dont have Atlanta’s traffic problems.

                Rush Hour means it takes 30 minutes to get downtown instead of 20.

                Unless you have to cross the non-functioning bridge, then you are boned.

            2. The Lexington Macaroni Grill closed. The Carrabas is still swamped though.

              At last count we had 16 Japanese restaurants. We’re mad for sushi.

              1. By very quick count with google maps, we have 35.

                1. My favorite being Maido, which is basically “japanese tapas”. Sushi too, of course.

        2. I finally get to say something good about the town where I live. The great, locally owned places have waits, and I can’t recall the last time someone even mentioned the OG.

      6. Even the smallest towns around here have a local Italian joint that’s been around for decades and makes most of their stuff in house yet Olive Garden

        Maybe in the Northeast. But not in the South and West. Good Italian is very hard to get in a lot of places. Thus, even the bland edible Italian of the Olive Garden was a vast improvement in many places.

        1. sadly this is true in the South, where the best Italian food can often be found at Greek-owned joints.

        2. Maybe not in most of the south, but in central and south Florida there are a lot of New York Italian transplants, and many of them open excellent restaurants.

      7. Also, don’t you ever watch Kitchen nightmares? At least 75% of the episodes involve some small family run Italian joint like you are talking about. Those places are often not so hot.

    2. whole wheat pasta

      Oh, is that like pan pizza? Kinda like the real thing, except for being terrible?

  18. But this is “Hit & Run,” after all, so why should we presume you know what you’re talking about?

    DRINK!

    1. I prefer Ann Blyth getting smacked by Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce.

  19. Little Debby is better anyway. Fuck Hostess.

    I can honestly and proudly say that I have never once even tasted a Twinkie. They have always looked completely disgusting to me, even as a little kid. Just watching someone eat that nasty fake “cream” shit makes me want to puke.

  20. Like GM, Hostess products used to be better. But outrageous union wages and benefits forced the company to lower the quality of the products and the consumers slowly reduced their purchases of said products.

  21. I posted about this the other day. Where’s my credit? When you find the time, make that out to, ‘her most excellent, excellency’.

    1. comma unnecessary there, but keep it, for effect

  22. I used to like King Dons when I was a kid. I think peoples taste have evolved beyond eating pure sugar which is what most of those products taste like.

  23. Harry Balzer, chief industry analyst for The NPD Group, a consumer marketing research firm.

    If ever there was a reason to be mad at the world, having a name like that would be it.

    1. Although I admit that would be an awesome porn name.

      1. Only if you were willing to make gay bear flicks.

        1. now what kinda genre is that john?

          1. A sector of gay men go for really hairy men. They call themselves “bears”.

          1. Well now you have a porn name.

    2. He obviously likes it or he would go by Henry or Hank.

  24. “Is it a market failure or a market success that Hostess Brands, maker of such well-remembered but apparently little-purchased commestibles as Twinkies, Suzy-Qs, and Ho-Hos, wants to declare bankruptcy to restructure its business and dodge its creditors?”
    NO! Their failure was due to a god damn labor union.

  25. Uh, guys, it’s not “cream” filling (obviously), it’s “creme” which is basically sugar with enough fat to make it creamy. Sort of like cheese versus pasteurized processed cheese food product (ie, velveeta).

    1. If you think about it, people in the 50s had grown up during the depression where calories were scarce. No wonder they loved shit like this.

      1. I suspect that the ’50s version tasted a hell of a lot better than the 2012 version. It was probably recognizable as real food.

        1. Doubtful. I am old enough to remember the 70s. And the food sucked outside of a few big cities.

          1. Pretty much. I remember the stuff my mom fed us routinely in the 60’s and 70’s and kind of laugh. Things we take for granted as commonplace nowadays (especially “ethnic” things like garlic and spices, for example) were a BFD back then. My mom thought nothing of setting up TV trays and heating up TV dinners for the family. Those James Lileks articles about the horrible 50’s and 60’s food make me smile for that reason.

            1. Yeah. My mother was a pretty good cook. And my grandmother was a great cook. But she was a farm wife and knew how to make everything from scratch and had all fresh ingredients. But even then it was all rural German meat and potatoes and fried chicken kind of stuff. Great food but hardly diverse.

            2. It’s hard to imagine eating before garlic was a widely accepted seasoning in the US.

        2. Bullshit. I have 50s cookbooks, specifically the ’54 Better Homes & Gardens cookbook. The shit they used to eat in the 50s was obscenely bad. You can read that whole book and not encounter enough flavor to make anything worthwhile.

          Of course, it’s funny to me how you, the reader, are presumed to be a married woman. There’s a very clear editorial voice aimed at that, and only that, possibility.

          1. Male cooks were really othered back then…

            1. The Gourmet cookbook I have from back then (’52, I think) is considerably less gendered.

              1. I am really curious as to what sorts of recipes Gourmet ran back then ( I have old BH&G and Betty Crocker cookbooks, so I know the perils that lie within those!). I subscribed to Gourmet for years and used to laugh at some of the ingredients the recipes required, stuff that wouldn’t be available anywhere except NYC (where, oddly enough, Gourmet was published).

                1. Julia Child was a total revelation for a reason. When she published her cook book no one knew how to cook French food in this country. Few had ever tried. To give you an idea, in 1971 a restaurant called Le Beck Fin opened in Philadelphia. It is still there. It was one of the first truly high end authentic French restaurants in America. Even the big cities didn’t have such a thing before then. America was a food wasteland back then.

                  1. I would probably caveat that to NE and Midwest America, I think that Southerners have been making Delish BBQ for quite a while, the SW has probably always had good Tex-Mexish food.

                    1. Every region had its food. NE had good italian and seafood. The Gulf Coast had good food. But it was all regional. That was it. You couldn’t get good italian in the south or good Mexican in the NE.

          2. I have to say I love old editions of the Joy of Cooking. The sections on preparing meat (especially game) are great. In one edition (from the 30s I think) they recommend that your chicken be slaughtered within 6 hours of cooking. The section on turtles is particularly hilarious if you are not an overly sentimental or squeamish person.

            1. people have lost the art of cooking game. Even my friends who hunt can’t cook it for shit. My grandmother was an artist with game. She could cook anything from deer to duck to goose to pheasant, you name it. But not many people grow up using game as a significant food source anymore.

    2. No. Velveeta has far more in common with cheese than that shit has with cream.

  26. So, I can get some Ho-ho’s with pennies on the dollar? I want to ho’s that wear stocking and are brunettes. Like Natalie Portman. I know she is too skinny for John (Read: she isn’t Kathy Bates).

    1. Yes because anyone not on a diet of coke and diet pills looks just like Kathy Bates.

    1. Blech… Can’t back that.

  27. “…annual sales of about $2 billion. It employs 19,000 people.”

    That’s like $105K per person!!! And they want to file for bankruptcy??? They’re all RICH!!!

  28. How in the hell does a bakery manage to go in debt by a billion? Who lent them all this money?

    I am very disappointed in you, Hostess. You have put yourselves, and thus my very sustenance, at great risk. I need those mini muffins to survive.

  29. Catch a sugar-rush flashback with this 1972 commercial selling the sweet, sweet snacks of Hostess as a way to shut up the whining kids who are now holding the company’s paper

    As a 21st-century parent, I gotta say I’m really envious of 20th-century parents.

    1. Actually watched the commercial. Why are they calling Ding Dongs Big Wheels?

    2. Come to think of it, my 20th-century parents did the commercial one better by kicking me out the front door when I was being obnoxious, telling me to gambol down to the grocery store and get my own darned Hostess cupcakes.

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