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  1. Chinese bodyguard anyone?

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/gavon/…..ves-bikini

    1. There’s a slight misogynistic/sadistic tone to those images. Should go over well with most of the internet.

    2. The one in picture #5 is nice if you like that sort of thing.

    3. Hmmm babes in boot camp. When does it show up on the History Channel, or Discovery?

  2. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-50…..ncol;lst;2

    Michelle Obama tired of angry black woman image

    In other news Tim Tebow tired of Christian athlete image. KSM tired of fanatical Muslim image.

    1. “But that’s been an image that people have try to paint of me since the day that Barack announced, that I’m some angry black woman.”

      See what happens when you give an angry Black woman and affirmative action degree?

      1. That’s what she gets for having a fit about the Pepsi Max commercial after last year’s Super Bowl.

      2. “But that’s been an image that people have try to paint of me since the day that Barack announced, that I’m some angry black woman.”

        Sweetie, that’s not a painting, that’s a photograph.

      3. That would be much funnier without the comma.

        1. ??? Her comma – and half the point of my comment.

    2. Chewbacca never should have shaved.

      1. Racist!

    3. Eh, I guess I feel a LITTLE bit bad for her.

      After all, I really don’t have a lot of evidence that she’s this rage-driven Godzilla stomping on fleeing Washingtonians.

      But she’s just so damn LARGE that you immediately assume that.

      People don’t fear her because she’s black. They fear her because they saw Cloverfield.

      1. I laughed

      2. It is not her fault she is a big woman. It is her fault she seems unpleasant. It is not like people have it out for big black women. Last I looked Oprah was pretty popular.

        1. But Oprah is cuddly large, not “Drive the quarterback into the turf” large.

          Michelle is that kind of large where you see her and you assign a team of scientists to discover her secret weakness by the third act.

          1. Well, when Madia is more feminine than you are, you might want to lay off the weights for a bit.

            1. Women who train with weights generally look fantastic.

              1. Totally agree. If you look at Oly lifting women, even the bigger “overweight” women have absolutely zero cellulite.

                If you do a lot of reps, you’ll put on muscle. If you do Oly lifts with a lot of weight and low reps, it just makes you extremely heavy and compact – you won’t look like you’ve bulked up.

          2. Stop it, my laughter is drawing attention now…

        2. Last I looked Oprah was pretty popular.

          Last I looked, so was Michelle Obama.

          1. Yes, Chewbacca is popular. Your point?

          2. Its odd, but a quick Google shows that her popularity stopped being polled/reported on shortly after it dumped following her Marie-Antoinette-Goes-To-Costa-del-Sol vacation.

            1. Yes, but she’s very popular among other wealthy parasites.

      3. Luckily, so long as one stays out of the world’s most expensive vacation destinations, the chances of coming across Mrs. Obama are quite low.

      4. Nobody ever thought Oprah or Condi was angry (the only part of that characterization which is in dispute, Michelle).

      5. I don’t feel even the least bit sorry for this disgusting, fat-assed pig.

        She’s living like Marie Antoinette on the taxpayer’s dime with absolutely no sense of shame whatsoever. She can’t even wait for her husband to finish what he’s doing and fly on the same damn plane with him, she needs her own damn plane and entourage to go everywhere. We’re paying for that shit, lady!

        1. ^^This^^ She has no class or any sense of propriety.

          1. What would one expect from someone whose senior thesis at Princeton may as well have been titled “All About Me.”

            1. Yeah, I made the mistake of writing a paper about black Princeton alumni. How self centered of me!

              1. Yep, it wasn’t about her AT ALL:

                “My experiences at Princeton have made me far more aware of my ‘blackness’ than ever before,” the future Mrs. Obama wrote in her thesis introduction. “I have found that at Princeton, no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my white professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don’t belong. Regardless of the circumstances underwhich I interact with whites at Princeton, it often seems as if, to them, I will always be black first and a student second.”

                1. Yep, you didn’t read it AT ALL:

                  “The purpose of this study is to examine various attitudes of Black Princeton alumni in their present state and as they are perceived by the alumni to have changed over time.”

                  1. Michelle, well then how did I quote all the shit about YOU from the fucking thesis itself? Because it’s in there and you wrote it. I never said you did not also devote some portion of the thesis to the all-important question of whether black Princeton alums are keeping it real or are turning all white and shit by getting jobs with the corporashuns. It appears you managed to fit that in, too.

                    One can only hope a Malia will attend Princeton one day and update your research. I suggest that she sends you an updated questionaire so you can explain how vactioning on Martha’s Vineyard, buying $400 sneakers, sending your kids to private school, purchasing a Chicago mansion from a white convict, etc. helps you identify with the black community.

                2. You can’t fool me — that’s just some bullshit one of us posted on the microaggressions blog.

          2. She’s like school at five o clock in the mornin’ – no class.

        2. And then she has the gall to go on TV and complain about people leaving their cellphone chargers plugged in.

        3. We’re paying for that shit, lady!

          That would be much funnier – and truer – without the comma.

      6. Hey! I happen to think that Klingon Women are hot (in a scary kind of way).

    4. So, she prefers the image of being an aloof, profligate libertine who uses her position to live lavishly while the rest of the county is in a recession?

    5. How is it a “sterotype” if it’s specifically about HER? So much for the literacy of CBS News.

    6. I think she’s just feeling “othered”.

      1. How very microaggressive. That makes her feel…

    7. I AM NOT AN AGRY BLACK WOMAN! BITCH, WHAT YOU LOOKING AT?

  3. Outgoing Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour pardoned nearly 200 people.

    He must have taken a ton of convicts to keep up the governor’s mansion.

    1. Come on fist. They all found Jesus. And Jesus got their relatives to write Barbour a big fat check. It is a miracle I tell you.

      1. See, I knew there had to be something in it for Barbour. These assholes don’t do anything that doesn’t benefit them personally in some way.

        1. Or “Haley” likes a little rough trade and knows how to keep mouths shut when he’s not daggering them.

    2. Is he British or Canadian? If not, why doesn’t he spell his name Barbor (or Barbur)?

  4. Jay Cost: How Romney Won New Hampshire
    http://www.weeklystandard.com/…..16592.html

    We have heard a lot over the last couple months about the anti-Romney sentiment in the Republican party. However, this statistic suggests that, in New Hampshire at any rate, Romney is the only candidate with whom a majority of the party is satisfied. The rest of the candidates seem to have alienated more than half of the GOP.

    That is Romney’s biggest advantage, far and away.

    1. How Romney Won New Hampshire: its a Boston ‘burb full of the people who moved out of Boston for many of the same reasons a lot of people leave the city. They were all the Romney supporters and pals who left Mass to fester in the blue slime; meaningless northeastern liberals who like to call themselves “Republicans” to distinguish themselves from the help.

    2. “Romney is the only candidate with whom a majority of the party is satisfied.”

      Except that he didn’t get a majority of the vote, just a plurality.

  5. Hung over from a late night of drinking again Riggs?

    1. No sir! These here links were posted right at 9AM sharp! The time-stamp tells me so!

  6. Atheists angry at Tim Tebow

    merican Atheists ? a New Jersey based group that promotes the separation of church and state ? tells CBS Denver that the only reason Tebow is popular is because he constantly injects his Christianity among the public.

    “When we watch a sporting event, we are all united for our team,” says David Silverman, president of American Atheists. “Tebow takes religion and injects it into the mix and divides the fan base.”

    Silverman states that Tebow’s repeated references to God into his post-game comments after a win is “bad for football.

    “(Religion) injects the divisive force into football,” Silverman says. “Why in the world are we talking about religion when we are talking about football?”

    http://denver.cbslocal.com/201…..istianity/

    Could it be because perhaps it is a free country and you should just ignore it if you don’t like it?

    1. As if football itself weren’t a religion…

    2. There is no doubt in my mind Christian groups would be outraged if an atheist NFL QB kept talking about his atheism.

      And yes, it is a free country, but that also means you can bitch all you want about other people’s behavior.

      1. Sure you can. But that doesn’t make you any less of a douche for doing so. And yes, there are plenty of Christian douches who would whine about some atheist QB.

        1. It’s hard to ignore it if you’re a Broncos fan though. It would be hard to sit in church every Sunday and ignore the minister.

          1. As a Chiefs fan, if they could find a quarterback who could win a playoff game, I wouldn’t give a shit if he was a Satanist who sacrificed kittens after every touchdown. It is football. Who cares?

            1. As a Chiefs fan, if they could find a quarterback who could win a playoff game, I wouldn’t give a shit if he was a Satanist who sacrificed kittens after every touchdown. It is football. Who cares?

              I’m pretty sure the ASPCA would have something to say about that, not to mention PETA.

              1. I’m pretty sure the ASPCA would have something to say about that, not to mention PETA.

                Yeah, they’d be pissed b/c killing homeless animals is their job.

            2. Who was the last Chiefs QB to win a playoff game, anyway? Was it Joe Montana?

              1. Correct. And he would wait till the end of the game to sacrifice a kitten.

              2. rich gannon?

          2. It would be hard to sit in church every Sunday and ignore the minister.

            Barack Obama would beg to differ.

            1. +5
              Would read again

            2. I award you 1,000 Internets.

              1. All I got was an arrow in the knee.

              2. All I got was an arrow in the knee.

          3. Does Tebow do sermons between quarters?

          4. Not all that difficult actually.

        2. Yes, John, having a reality-based philosophy makes one a “douche.”

          “it is a free country and you should just ignore it if you don’t like it”

          Good advice. Why don’t you take it?

          1. I am not the one bitching and moaning about a quarterback I will never meet and will have no affect on my life.

            1. No, you’re the one bitching and moaning about the people who are bitching and moaning, and telling them that they should ignore that which they’re bitching and moaning about if they don’t like it, which is typically hypocritical, especially for a chat room chatterer who spends his whole day chatting about the bitchers and moaners.

              1. No, you’re the one bitching and moaning about the people who are bitching and moaning, and telling them that they should ignore that which they’re bitching and moaning about if they don’t like it, which is typically hypocritical, especially for a chat room chatterer who spends his whole day chatting about the bitchers and moaners.

                Talk about hypocrisy. As I pointed out the other day, people like you never shut the fuck up about letting your freak flag fly and endlessly expressing yourself, yet when Tebow does it, you chimp out about it simply because he’s expressing something you don’t like.

                As a militant agnostic, I hope he continues to fearlessly express his religious beliefs, simply because it makes mewling phaggots like you so uncomfortable.

                1. This really is amazing – liberal hatred for tebow and their desire to push him back into the closet is that same kind of behavior they would be bitching about when conservtaives want to shove gays back into the closest.

                  As usual, liberal “tolerance” only covers the groups that are part of their side of the culture war.

                2. I am a athiest that agees with Red Rocks?Tebow should be free to express his opinions?can’t hate on a guy for putting his beleifs out there?

                  …if you don”t like him then don’t watch his shows.

                  Why do so many people turn into busybody speech police when confronted with an idea they disagree with.

              2. Yo dawg I herd you leik chatterers, so I put a chatter in your chatterer so you can chatter while you chat.

                1. Yo dawg I herd you leik chatterers, so I put a chatter in your chatterer so you can chatter while you chat.

                  but what about tweeter twitting?!

              3. Expand “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and
                offended to discover that there are other views.”

                ~William F. Buckley, Jr.

                1. Please ignore “Expand”

          2. No dipshit. Bitching about an over grown man-child who plays football for a living makes them douches. If they were muslims or jews or hindus bitching about Tebow interjecting his flying spaghetti monster nonsense they would still be douches.

      2. God would never allow an atheist to become an NFL QB.

      3. How the fuck is an atheist going to inject their atheism into their post game talks? “I’d like to thank the big bang for kicking things off billions of years ago. And my 10th grade physics teacher for helping me figure out the optimal velocity and arc to complete touchdown passes”

    3. (Religion) injects the divisive force into football

      Yeah, Steelers and Ravens fans (or Giants and Cowboys, Packers and Bears, Chiefs and Raiders, etc.) were all holding hands and singing kumbaya until all that religion got injected into the sport.

      1. lol

    4. No, no. In America, freedom of religion includes freedom from religion. If the government gave a station a license they have a duty to muzzle anybody who might say something good about religion, for the children.

    5. Yeah, these guys just had to go and embarrass themselves.

    6. a New Jersey based group that promotes the separation of church and state ? tells CBS Denver that the only reason Tebow is popular is because he constantly injects his Christianity among the public.

      Yeah, imagine how insufferable it would become if he ever learns to pass a football.

      1. That would take the fun out of it Ice. The fun of Tebow is not his religion. The fun is watching all of the experts and failed and has been jocks on TV turn purple explaining how none of this should be happening. I get tired of being told how to think. I love it that a guy who all the experts said should suck has turned out to be pretty good.

        1. I love it that a guy who all the experts said should suck has turned out to be pretty good.

          He should be thanking God less and Ike Turner a lot more.

        2. No — the religion stuff is fun too. Not that I agree with it, but I love who it pisses off. (It would be far, far sweeter, though, if he were a Muslim.)

          1. (It would be far, far sweeter, though, if he were a Muslim.)

            They filter those out at the college level.

            1. They filter those out at the college level.

              Antwaan Randle El would agree.

          2. If he were muslim I doubt there would be nearly as many “haters”. Plus anyone who did would probably be beheaded or suicide bombed.

        3. Nickname for Tebow: “Tim Placebo.” Spirits are up. Players are blocking and making plays. They have started winning. In spite of all that, he’s not actually doing anything!!!

          HE JUST WINS FOOTBALL GAMES!!!! There’s 3 new ones of those every year. Their shelf life isn’t very long (Tom Brady excepted, but he actually developed into a legitimately great NFL QB that can carry a team).

          1. Fuck Tom Brady. Fuck the New England Patriots.
            And Fuck Michigan.

            1. Fuck Tom Brady. Fuck the New England Patriots.
              And Fuck Michigan.

              Agreed on both counts. I’m a Buckeyes and Jets fan, it’s tough to outstrip my hatred for the king of screens.

                1. …I-O
                  Sorry, it’s like a reflex.

                2. I-O!

                  I’m excited to spoil Michigan’s title hopes this year. The Bucks went 6-6 with no coach, a QB that should have redshirted, and a defense chock full of sophomores. They’re going to be tough next year (I’m going with 8-4 without looking at the schedule) and should be Top-10 in 2013.

                  1. All I know is I lost out on a bowl trip next year, and I don’t even have a fucking tattoo.

            2. There’s that dvisiveness again. Tom Brady an insufferable catholic or something?

          2. Yeah, as I recall “Sexy Rexy” Grossman was one of those flashes in the pan.

            1. No. Everyone always knew Grossman sucked. Even when he went to the Super Bowl, no one ever said “he just wins”. Mike Shanahan is the only person on earth, including Grossman’s mother, who ever thought Grossman was an NFL quarterback.

              1. That’s what they used to say about Kyle Orton.. he “just wins”.

                Well, until he didn’t have a stout defense and top-flight running game around him. Then he just stunk.

              2. Lovie Smith might have thought it for about 5 seconds too.

        4. No, the fun is the killing of NFLAids, and hopefully the injection of more option into pro football.

          The option is fun to watch. The West Coast, not so much.

          1. Bland and effective is always the preferred option at the professional level. See also:

            “Moneyball” offense
            Sinker-slider power pitchers
            the 4-4-2 soccer formation
            The Triangle offense
            The 1-2-2 neutral zone trap
            Butterfly goaltending

            1. Interestingly, the Oakland A’s are the best counterargument to your Moneyball comment.

              Niether their 70s nor 80s dynasties were bland.

              1. neither one had a thing to do with moneyball

                1. Exactly. KDN says bland and effective is the preferred option. I was pointing to two counter examples that were both effective and not bland and involved the same team that used moneyball.

                  Can add Billyball from betweent the dynasties also, although it wasnt really effective.

                  1. The teams you list didnt use moneyball though so your idiotic example is idiotic and wrong.

                    Later a’s teams did, which has fuckall t do with your failed moronic point.

        5. I love it that a guy who all the experts said should suck has turned out to be pretty good.

          Then how come Alex Smith isn’t getting that attention?

          Heck, Cam Newton was supposed to be bad this year and he tore a streak through the record books…and he gets 1/2 the coverage of Tebow.

          1. Cam Newton gets lots of coverage. And his team sucks. If Cam Newton were in the playoffs and beat the Steelers it would be all Newton all the time. Newton is a physical freak among freaks. Everyone thought he was going to be good. He was the number one pick in the draft for God’s sake.

            And so was Alex Smith. His story is one of a guy everyone thought was going to be great, then thought was a bust and has now been salvaged by a great coach.

            Both Newton and Smith were number one overall picks with huge arms and big throwing skills. Their success in no way cuts against conventional wisdom like Tebow’s does.

            1. Newton was getting all the coverage in September, while Orton was QBing Denver into a hole.

            2. Also, as you point out, Tebow wasnt #1 overall. He was late 1st round and all the “experts” thought Denver was insane to grab him in Round 1.

              Tebow and Thomas makes a pretty good pair of Round 1 picks for Denver that year.

              1. Could it be that maybe Josh McDaniels knew what he was doing more than people thought?

              2. Denver WAS insane for drafting Tebow at 22. That the bad decision they made hasn’t exploded in their face (yet) doesn’t mean it wasn’t a bad decision.

                1. Drafting Tebow at 22 wasn’t quite as insane as giving up three picks to do so. Even taking Tebow’s limitations into account, McDipshit probably could have waited until the third round and picked him up then if he was so desperate to draft him.

                  Those three picks could have provided some depth in areas that Denver was lacking, and it’s one of a myriad of examples of why McD was tossed out on his ass a few months later.

        6. The fun is watching all of the experts… on TV turn purple explaining how none of this should be happening.

          That’s half the fun of Paul’s presidential campaign, too!

          And that bitch Dana Bash needs to die in a fire.

          1. Why do they keep sending her to cover RP? They obviously have no interest in talking to each other.

      2. a New Jersey based group that promotes the separation of church and state

        They may want to rethink their mission statement if their main concern is muzzling a private citizen who works for a private company from voicing his opinion on God to employees of other private companies after he gets done working for the day.

        I wonder if they would also decry that same private citizen from voicing his beliefs if he was so vocal in his denial of God.

        Hypocrites.

        1. You might want to check just how private the NFL is.

          Hint: it isn’t.

    7. Yeah, I’ve never heard any athlete ever say anything about god or religion in the history of sports. This is a total first, so they are right to be upset at this government figure forcing us to listen to his personal opinions.

      1. Reggie White was an ordained minister who practically thanked God for beating the unbelievers after every win. Kurt Warner was and is a huge evangelical. No one cared about those guys. I don’t get why every is now pissed off over Tebow.

        1. Hello, sir. I’m here to calibrate your sarc-o-meter.

        2. You know what the funniest thing about their limpouts is? Tebow is the same way game after game, win or lose, and doesn’t let all that noise affect him. He continually credits the team as a whole in interviews, is gracious to his opponents, and stays positive no matter the circumstances.

          For people like Silverman, who worship weakness, he’s the devil–they scream, they bitch, they criticize, and hilariously, they still can’t touch him.

          1. Yeah. I really don’t get what is to dislike about the guy. He seems nice enough to me.

          2. He continually credits the team as a whole in interviews, is gracious to his opponents, and stays positive no matter the circumstances.

            Agreed…Though I am not a fan of Jesus or The Broncos, it seems that everything about Tebow’s behaviour would be seen as admirable by the haters if it weren’t for the ‘Thanks Jesus’ element. So much for tolerating our differences!

            1. What does it say about people who hate on a guy who will (probably) never be accused of raping a woman in a nightclub restroom, or run dog fighting rings from their house, or smack around their girlfriends/ wife, or get involved in a gang related shooting or…

              And then those same people turn around and verbally fellate other athletes who are guilty of all of the above and more just because the “nice guy” is open about his religious beliefs?

              1. Ray Lewis can kill a man and get no where near the hate that Tebow does for thanking Jeebus.

        3. Reggie White was Black, the only people who0 are allowed to be openly Christian in America. Especially during Black Church tour season at election time.

        4. Reggie White was an ordained minister who practically thanked God for beating the unbelievers after every win.

          I remember when Reggie signed with Green Bay, he directly attributed it to God telling him where to go. Some GM for another team made a sarcastic remark about God conveniently choosing the place where he’d make the most money (Reggie was the first big-name player to become available after the new free agency system began), and Reggie flipped the hell out. “God did decide!” was his exact quote in Sports Illustrated.

    8. As an atheist myself, I must say I fucking hate these militant atheist groups. My guess is they had something happen in their childhood that made them hate the idea of God; I dunno, maybe someone told them to pray for a sick parent and the parent died anyway? And now they’re all grown up and out there sending vaguely threatening letters to towns with nativity scenes, protesting the pledge of allegiance, and screeching about any public display of religiosity in an unusual place. They give the rest of us, who came to our atheism rationally or just by lack of faith, and aren’t so friggin angry about religion, a bad name. If you go to Oklahoma or Alabama and ask them what they think the average athist is like, the nativity protesters are the first thing they’ll think of.

      It’s the same dynamic as used to happen with gay people; the goofballs in ACT-UP and the parades etc made life more difficult for the majority of homosexuals, who were just ordinary people working a job and putting food on the table.

      1. I don’t get the gay pride parades at all. Why would a small generally disliked minority have a parade that confirmed every awful slur and stereotype hurled at them?

        1. a small generally disliked minority

          [citation please]

          1. Have you seen the polls on attitudes towards gay?

            1. Yeah, and I’d be more likely to use the word indifferent than disliked.

              This ain’t the 80’s anymore.

              1. you would be wrong, as the polls show
                of course youre oneof those assholes that thinks that not liking a fact means its not true, which is why you claim indifference instead of dislike

            2. Attitude towards gays is not a big deal. The parades are a whole other matter

              1. Aren’t all parades gay?

        2. What fabulous person can resist a day of streamers and epithets?

      2. It is an especially odd thing to go on crusade for, the non-existence of a non-thing. To me, this just demonstrates (as do about a thousand other analogous examples) that the evangelical impulse is a human trait, rather than a religious one.

        1. Except for the millions of quiet atheists that make us look like such a small minority in America, your thesis is spot on.

          1. Most Christians are fairly quiet about their faith too….

          2. Everyone thinks they are part of the silent majority.

            1. I don’t think we’re a majority, we are just far quieter about what we believe than most religious people, which leads us to being undercounted.

              Tebow can do what he wants, and people can express approval or disapproval as they want.

              If anything, atheists should be praising Tebow. The uncomfortableness that so many people feel about his public religiosity is a great signal for the rising secularization of America.

              1. we are just far quieter about what we believe

                Har.

              2. What SF said.

              3. SF, it’s like what someone said above. It’s difficult to be vocal about atheism.

                Instead of thanking God after winning a game, the analogous response would be “oh, and I’d just like to take this opportunity to remind you all that there is no god.”

                Also, Tebow expressing his faith is 1000 times better than Santorum using his faith to pull the religious voters.

                1. Um, no, its not difficult to be vocal about atheism. If atheism is your hobby horse, you climb on it at every opportunity, just like Christianity or American League rules baseball being fake.

      3. As an atheist myself, I must say I fucking hate these militant atheist groups.

        People like Silverman are on par emotionally and intellectually with the Westboro Baptists–these are essentially miserable people who are so broken they feel the need for everyone else to be as miserable as they are.

        I’ve been friends with plenty of atheists in my lifetime, and none of them acted this childishly because they were secure with themselves and the place in the world. I don’t think people like Silverman have that same internal sense of peace, so they take it out on everyone else.

        1. Groupthink is a pretty powerful thing.

    9. As if NBA, MLB, boxers, actors, etc. etc. don’t thank God when they get interviewed or win awards. Tebow’s “First off I’d like to thank God” shtick is hardly some kind of new thing for sports.

      I guess all the American atheists can boycott football. Or maybe this guy can just roll his eyes for three seconds and not get his panties all knotted up over it. Pretty sure Tebow is selling all sorts of NFL shit, which would be good for football, regardless of this clown’s thoughts on the topic.

    10. Silverman states that Tebow’s repeated references to God into his post-game comments after a win is “bad for football.

      “(Religion) injects the divisive force into football,” Silverman says.<?I>

      Silverman thinks real football should be all hand holding and kumbaya.

    11. I have to wonder if they would have as big a problem if he started saying “allahu ackbar” or “praise krishna” after a game. Most of the atheists I’ve met aren’t really atheists so much as anti-christisn.

      Frankly I don’t see why it matters. You know he’s going to say something about God/ J.C. in the post game interview, so just mute the TV or change the channel if you don’t want to hear it. The only ones being “divisive” are the people bitching about it.

      1. I’d like to see somebody say ‘ftaghn Cthulhu’, but that’s just me.

        1. How do you pronounce ‘ftaghn’?

          1. You’re not supposed to pronounce it you wretched 5-dimensional lump of protoplasm. Your geometry is wrong.

            But, since I’m an imbecile, try these

            fah-tah-gan
            feh-tag-nuh
            eff-tay-gun

            As far as you’re concerned they’re all right.

        2. “[Cthulhu] promised us that everything would be awesome and better… It’s like Obama all over again.”

    12. Tebow takes religion and injects it into the mix and divides the fan base.

      HATERS GONNA HATE.

    13. What’s a “Tebow”? Some kind of prosthetic elbow?

    1. Team Red falling into line, as expected.

    2. I noticed Paul was third, but they discussed him fourth, behind Assgrease.

      Also, that doesn’t take Independents into account, a lot of whom will be voting in the Republican primaries. And their only “head-to-head” question asks about Romneybot vs. Assgrease. And that’s bound to skew the poll in those two guys’ favors.

      Look at the methodology and you will come to the conclusion that this poll is as useless as tits on a boar.

      1. as useless as tits on a boar.

        I know it’s a saying, but aren’t boar-tits right in the bacon area?

      2. Oh yeah, the bias is all over that thing:

        Ron Paul is also a surprisingly strong performer against President Obama, only falling by 7 percentage points 48 to 41.

        Why is that surprising? Anyone who is paying any attention knows he performs best among independents and Democrats of all the GOP candidates.

  7. Democrats and Executive Overreach
    It’s a mistake to excuse Obama’s disregard for the Constitution. Precedents set now will be exploited by the next administration.
    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..on_LEADTop

    The English philosopher John Locke, who so influenced our Founding Fathers, wrote that a “good prince” is more dangerous than a bad one because the people are less vigilant to protect against the aggrandizement of power when they perceive the ruler as beneficent.

    I fear many Democrats are falling into this trap. They like President Obama and his policies, and they are willing to look the other way when it comes to constitutional niceties. The problem is that checks and balances are important, precedents created by one administration will be exploited by the next, and not all princes are good.

    1. Fucking shortsightedness, how does it work?

    2. I’m not a subscriber, so I can’t do it myself, but is it safe to assume that a WSJ search for 2000-2008 containing the words “Bush executive overreach” would be fruitless?

      1. I am a subscriber. Here’s what came up:

        “Sorry, there are no results for your search query, please try another search.”

        1. Nice. Thanks for the public service.

    3. The wheel keeps on turning….

      1. Proud Mary keep on burnin’!

  8. Turns out Ray Bradbury was a pretty cool guy.

    “I no longer want to be accepted by certain intellectuals,” Bradbury confesses in a previously unpublished 1976 interview with George Plimpton included in Weller’s collection. “If I hear tomorrow that Norman Mailer likes me, I’ll kill myself.” Similarly, should Kurt Vonnegut express admiration, “I would worry.”

    http://www.theamericanconserva…..-the-nerd/

    1. This impressed me too, if only because I can’t drive and get very bored by video games*

      Science fiction’s greatest living writer never bothered with a driver’s license, regards video games as time wasters, refuses to unbind his books for electronic readers, and dismisses the computer as a highfalutin typewriter.

      * except for when I just want to shoot things

      1. In other comments, he was heard to say

        “GET OFF MY LAWN!!!”

      2. “refuses to unbind his books for electronic readers”

        For a long time I was skeptical of ereaders but now I have a Nook Tablet and love it! I put more on my microSD card than in the memory of the reader itself because I have more control over it and can pop it out whenever I want but as for reading ease it is great.

        1. I’m still a book guy, but I like my Kindle.

        2. I like just adding the Kindle reader application to my other gizmos.

    2. Thank God Mailer and Vonnegut hate Tom Wolfe too!

    3. Big fan but every time I hear someone like him claim that we’d “talk to each other more” (as if that’s a goal that everyone must have) if there was less technology I want to scream. It’s like they don’t actually remember what life was like with less technology. Shit, I’m half his age and I remember life without cell phones and internets. It was fucking boring.

      1. It’s also funny given how big an LA/Hollywood guy he was with all his scriptwriting.

    4. Honestly, my favorite writer of all time, although Pratchett may have surpassed him in recent years. They’re 1a and 1b, regardless.

      God, it will be so sad when Bradbury kicks it. The dude is still going pretty strong for a 91 year old though.

  9. Fannie Mae’s CEO has done enough damage, is stepping down.

    Is this one Rep. Barney Frank was literally in bed with or just figuratively?

    1. I think Barney Frank’s top left in the early 00s.

      1. Yes, to pursue his pottery (not kidding).

    2. I would like to get a job overseeing other people’s money coming into a bankcorrupt organization and then leave after two years with a $2million bonus…how does one get this job?

      1. You have to get in at the bottom and brown-nose your way to the top while lesser men die like dogs in the corridors. Probably.

      2. One allows his fudge to be packed by Barney Frank, apparently.

      3. How do you feel about anal fisting?

  10. Obama’s War on Energy
    Interior Department energy propaganda misleading, disingenuous
    http://www.instituteforenergyr…..ingenuous/

    The interior department announced Tuesday that oil and gas lease sales on public lands increased 20 percent in 2011, generating more than $250 million in profits for taxpayers. The fact, however, is that oil production on federal lands, lease sales, and revenue have drastically declined during the Obama administration.

    1. Rapidly becoming irrelevant

      1. I know you are but what am I.

  11. Obama’s poll bounce late last year, probably mostly as a result of pulling the troops out of Iraq and the temporary payroll tax extension, is history.

    1. He needs to find another despised foreigner to execute.

      1. Simon Cowell?

  12. Hostess, owing money to the Bakery and Confectionery Union pension fund and others, files for bankruptcy.

    1. That’s karma for ruining Drake’s cakes.

    2. Oh sweet lord baby jeebus, what will happen to my Snoballs?

      1. Kristen, you live in DC. If you’re into snowballs, I’m sure there is a politician or two (hundred) that could satisfy your needs.

        Snowball

        1. Thank dog that’s not a link to urbandictionary….

          1. Well, it should have been.

            Please disregard my scientific experiments.

    3. A huge corporate purveyor of centrally distributed stale and chemical laced foods being put out of business by thousands of local bakeries that sell fresh baked goodies direct to markets? Unpossible.

      1. But….the Snoballs!!

        1. Hostess? Sno Balls? are vile.
          I have spoken.

          1. You’ve never done drugs, have you?

            1. Funny Bones – that’s where chemical snack cake goodness really resides.

        2. Chapter 11, not chapter 7. Your Snoballs should be safe for now.

          1. Hostess? Sno Balls?.

          2. Safe for now, sure… BUT WHAT ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING?!?!?!??!?!??!??!?

            1. Holy Tebow, you’re right! Taste-E-Freezes are also doomed. DOOMED!

              1. The death of Dippin’ Dots was the tipping point.

                1. The future confused and frightened me.

      2. You can take my ho-hos from my cold dead hands.

        1. Fear not, the Market will ensure that popular products continue even after the Hostess Corp sleeps with the fishes.

    4. So Hostess made benefit deals sweeter than their Ding Dongs? They should try to get out of the contracts using some form of the Twinkie defense.

    5. Nooo!

  13. http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/…..d=15321298

    Dave Corzine ripped off farmers and ranchers in Montana. They gave MF global money in return for an annuity to hedge against cattle prices. And Corzine stole it and bought Euro Bonds.

    Odd how Corzine isn’t a Madoff level villain in the media.

    1. It’s not an outrage it’s a tragedy.

    2. This you meant Jon Corzine. Dave was a basketball center (DePaul and then NBA).

      1. Yes. I know Dave Corzine quite well. That is why I always confuse the first names.

        1. He had some steals too.

    3. Odd how Corzine isn’t a Madoff level villain in the media.

      Farmers and cattle ranchers are icky and anyway they were probably trying to make a profit, which makes them evil.

    4. Madoff is hated mostly because he ripped off a bunch of uber-wealthy Hollywood stars.

      Who cares about farmers and ranchers? They’re not fabulous.

      1. Who cares about farmers and ranchers? They’re not fabulous JOOOS!.

  14. Mittens looks even more zombiefied than usual in that pic.

    1. Check out his sons….

      http://a57.foxnews.com/www.fox…..040657.jpg

      With the exception of the one who takes after mom, it’s like they were cloned and prepared for the New World Order.

      1. The one on the left looks likes Tom Cruise. That’s enough for me not to vote for his dad.

      2. His wife is looking more and more like he bought her at the Tipper store.

        1. That was a big store in the 70s. Big among dorky guys with a lot of cash.

      3. The one on the far right frightens me. He’s looks like Damien.

        1. He

        2. That one is actually kinda hot. Ew. I feel dirty now.

      4. Kind of OT, but this reminded me of it.

        Amongst its many flaws, the biggest one, IMO, of Terra Nova was the skin tones of the kids of the main family.

        The Dad is white, the Mom is East Indian (I guess, imdb says Sri Lankan). The son looks like Dad, the daughters look like Mom. GENETICS DONT WORK THAT WAY.

        1. Yes it does.

          1. Explain Mulattos then.

            1. Do a Punnett square with Aa and Bb parents.

              1. What assumptions are we making here?

                Is whiteness a lack of dominant genes? Is the father aabb while the mother is AaBb? The son being aabb is then a 1/4 chance.

                Any reason to assume the mother isnt AABB? The son would then be impossible. Obviously, since he exists, lets go with the first.

                It gives it a chance to happen, but Im thinking there are more than 2 chromosones involved (and there are more characteristics than just skin color that he didnt inherit). The son is a genetic freak at best.

                1. Dark features are usually caused by dominant genes. Aa and Bb explains it and, yes, gives you a one in four shot at a light ab offspring. “A chance” is pretty blatant understatement for a 1/4 event and certainly not “freak” and neither of those are compatible with “GENETICS DONT WORK THAT WAY.”

                  1. Light versus dark skin is way more complicated than a simple biallelic trait. Last estimate I read was that there are around a dozen genes involved in determination of skin tone.

                    1. Yes but then this isn’t a genetics forum. You can only do so much here. And, there is a difference between dark/light dichotomy and “tone” gradations.

            2. Black ass momma! White ass daddy!

            3. Wait, didn’t the prohibition of cannabis do away with those?

      5. The 2 who look alike remind me of the Winklevoss twins. That other one may belong to the mailman. What a creepy looking bunch of people.

      6. How long until Alex Jones comes up with the theory that the Romneys are proof of a Nazi eugenics experiments from WW2?

    2. Didn’t you hear? He was doing a walk-on for The Walking Dead.

  15. For Koch Industries, New York Times’ vendetta is never-ending
    http://www.state-politics.com/…..york-times‘-vendetta-is-never-ending/
    Koch letter:

    We have been observing coverage about us in the Times over the last year that appears in many cases driven by a political agenda and in others so gratuitous that it stretches the bounds of newsworthiness to absurd lengths. You will recall that we brought a number of these specifics to your attention last April and May. Since that time, there have been more than 50 articles in the paper critical of Koch (zero that are positive) written by some 41 different Times authors. You were gracious to offer a continued dialogue on the matter and two such pieces that appeared over the weekend prompt us to reach out again.

    1. It would be interesting to compare the negative coverage in the Times of the Kochs, who are nothing but honest business men on the wrong political side, with Corzine who is a flat out crook and everything the Times claims is wrong with Capitalism. I am guessing the Kochs get worse treatment.

      1. They’re just playing to their base. Who else is going to buy the NYT except disaffected white liberals anymore?

        1. Bird owners?

          1. Not at NYT prices. They could get multiple copies of USA Today for less money than a Sunday NYT. And since it’s written at a parrot reading level, it makes more sense anyway.

      2. Not to mention that Corzine was actually a high-ranking public official while the Koch have never been.

      3. Corzine followed every single one of the Times’ recommendations while running NJ, further precipitating its decline. The Times is better off just acting like he doesn’t exist, it can only hurt their own reputation.

      4. This is instructive. It explains that the NYT believes so strongly in accuracy that it went out of its way to make a correction when it misidentified a “My Little Pony” character. The earnestness is just precious.

        1. My Little Pony has a strange cult following amongst a certain segment of male hipsters. They call themselves bronies and my sister went to their convention in the city as a function of her job. In related news, the MLP Friendship is Magic Facebook page is home of some of the most vile things ever published in a place made for children. My sister spent half her day keeping it Rule 34 free before she got promoted out of there.

          1. What do you do when you are just too much of a loser to even be accepted by the furies? Become a Bronie.

            1. John, as someone who loves MLP:FiM, I’m not going to get mad at you. In the true spirit of the fandom, I am just going to love and tolerate the shit out of you.

          2. Her job is to manage their FB page?

          3. Her job is to manage their FB page?

            1. She works for their PR firm, that was one of her team’s responsibilities.

              1. MLP needs a PR Firm?

                1. MLP needs a PR Firm?

                  When your primary fan base consists of goons mentioned in the article, it needs all the PR it can get.

                  http://www.wired.com/underwire…..tle-ponys/

                2. MLP needs a PR Firm?

                  MLP is owned by Hasbro, most companies of that size have one or at least an in-house staff.

            2. When a significant portion of your fans are regulars on /b/, you need industrial strength PR.

          4. In related news, the MLP Friendship is Magic Facebook page is home of some of the most vile things ever published in a place made for children.

            They could save a lot of time tracking sexual predators just by flagging every download of a MLP torrent.

          5. Okay, in the show’s defense, it’s a really good cartoon with people who worked on Powerpuff Girls and Foster’s (both brilliant) working on it.

            Also, Fluttershy.

      5. But those Koch brothers are trying to turn an honest profit. That’s just evil incarnate. And besides theft and fraud are only wrong when done by “the wrong people”.

  16. Prepaid college plans are becoming less useful by the year.

    Putting your money in a government sponsored account, what could go wrong?

    1. Makes me feel better for not doing it now. Of course, a better economy would have probably made it affordable for me to do so.

    2. It appears I’ve been raided.

    3. Wait for all the heart tugging sob stories in 2020 or so about all the kids who thought they had a ticket punched but now can’t even pay for the meal plan.

    4. Dog Food for dinner tonight!

      1. Ramen is cheaper on a calorie basis.

        1. Dog food is lower on sodium though. Combine the two for a more balanced diet.

        2. Rice & Beans.

          1. Watch the sales. The stores in my area often have “buy one pack of pork chops get a second pack for free. Lat week it was boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I got 4 pounds for $8, which made 8 meals. One dollr each.

    5. The article is incorrect. The Texas Guaranteed Tuition Plan is backed by a constitutionally guaranteed trust fund and the full faith and credit of the State of Texas.

      1. What if the state runs out of credit?

        1. What if the private companies in which you invested your kid’s college fund run out of credit?

          I didn’t say that it was a metaphysical lock that the funds would be there when you need them, I said the article was wrong about the nature of Texas’ program.

        2. What if the state runs out of credit?

          It will rely on faith?

  17. “Pakistan could be facing a military coup.”

    The U.S. Federal Government generally prefers Pakistan to be run by dictators who are not accountable to the actual people who live in Pakistan.

    1. Have you noticed the actual people who live in Pakistan?

      1. friendly sorts, who run IT support lines?

      2. You mean the ones our drones are killing and maiming? Yes, I have.

        1. There are a few other ones whom you really don’t want to meet. Maybe if the alternative is a bunch of nuts taking over and starting a war with India, the military isn’t such a bad option.

          1. Maybe if the alternative is a bunch of nuts taking over and starting a war with India,…

            And…why should we muster a fuck?

            1. but the IT Support staff!

              1. There’s always Sri Lanka, Humungus.

          2. Perhaps it is none of our damned business and we should let the Pakistanis and Indians worry about Pakistan and India? Or has that not occurred to you?

            1. If it is none of our damn business, then why do you care if the military takes over? Ever thought of that?

              1. John, I have a sneaking suspicion that our government is involved here – that is why I care.

                1. Even if there’s no direct involvement, you can’t have a democratic government that is prostrate to a foreign country that frequently sends random death from above upon civilians. Either the government falls or it tells the foreigners to get the fuck out.

                  How long do you think the US govt would survive if it became clear they were unwilling and unable to prevent Chinese drones from killing random Americans?

                  1. If the US had large sections of the country over which we had no control and those sections were waging war on Mexico, I would not be surprised to learn that the government was working with the Chinese to control such areas.

                    You guys act like we just randomly bomb Pakistan. If the tribal areas of Pakistan don’t like drone strikes, maybe they should stop waging war on Afghanistan?

                    Would it be too much to ask for you to maybe admit once in a while that someone besides the US is capable of doing bad things?

                    1. “If the tribal areas of Pakistan don’t like drone strikes, maybe they should stop waging war on Afghanistan?”

                      Who is “they” you act as though every single person, even the little kids, who are killed in our drone strikes is involved in the violence. Also, why are WE waging war in Afghanistan? Gee, I thought Bin Laden was dead. Bin Laden by the way, was once a CIA asset who they helped use to drive out the Soviets. Now the organization he founded wants to drive US out. We have no business being there – lets get out of Afghanistan and Pakistan. Let the locals sort it out.

                  2. And we are not killing “random civilians”. Don’t the Afghans have the right to defend themselves? Oh I forgot, they are allied with the US, so their jobs like Americans is just to fucking die and never defend themselves.

                    1. “Don’t the Afghans have the right to defend themselves?”

                      Yes, kind of like they were defending themselves against US! Lets get out and let the Afghans defend themselves against Pakistanis if they must. We have no business being there.

                    2. Another thing you may not understand is that in that part of the world tribal identity is more important than national identity. Pashtuns in Pakistan identify more with Pashtuns in Afghanistan than non-Pahstuns in Pakistan. You have people of the same tribe defending other members of the same tribe in another country.

                  3. I was pretty sure the Pakis did already tell the US to get the fuck out, hence the requirement of a military takeover, so we could come back in.

                    1. Lost_In_Translation, I remember something about that too. Remember even under Bush things were starting to get tense at the end.

                  4. Tulpa makes a very good point. Think of how furious many of us have been with our government and multiply that by a factor of 1000. Our government certainly would not last long. In fact I imagine many in the military, who took an oath to defend the Constitution, would consider it their DUTY to overthrow the government in a case like that and then hold a new election as soon as is feasible – but how long would that be?

          3. There are a few other ones whom you really don’t want to meet.

            Sort of like Detroit.

      3. Oh yeah.

    2. You mean Pakistan the nuclear power?

  18. Iranian currency imploding, interest rates hiked to 20% to battle ongoing hyperinflation.

    Somewhere out there, Jimmy Carter is probably smiling to himself.

    1. Is it too much to hope for a revolution?

      1. Hopefully we will get one in November of this one in the USA.

        1. November of this year, I mean.

      2. Yes

        More likely some lashing out at the neighbors

    2. As history teaches us, nothing bad EVER happens when a currency implodes.

      1. One of there nuclear scientists exploded yesterday. Coincidence?

        1. their, natch

        2. No, I would not be shocked to learn the CIA had something to do with it. However, something like Operation Paperclip would have been a smarter idea.

          1. Geez, I’m not doing very well with the subtle sarcasm this morning.

          2. Limpet mines seem more Mossad-y to me. As does actually blowing up a scientist, as opposed to some politico schmuck that doesn’t really cripple their research program.

          3. I would be moderately surprised to learn that the CIA is competent enough to pull off something like this.

            1. yeah, I’m leaning Mossad too.

    3. You do realize that Carter appointed Volcker to the Fed.

      He got stuck with the hangover from LBJ/Nixon’s binge.

      1. August of 1979 was a wee bit too late to do something right.

        If Carter had done it in January of 1977, he might have been better off. And yes, I know, that isnt how the Fed works.

        1. Also, Volcker didnt raise the Fed Fund Rates to their peak until 1981, which was during Reagan’s term.

          I dont know if that was just a matter of timing or the president had some say.

          1. The Fed is allegedly politically independant. Allegedly.

        2. The Fed chairman’s term wasn’t up in 1977 so he couldn’t.

          He did however deregulate trucking and airlines.

          1. And homebrewing.

          2. I like how you just ignored my “And yes, I know, that isnt how the Fed works.” comment.

            Of course, Carter could have called in the Fed chairman in 1977 and told him to do whatever Volcker is going to do 2 years from now. If the Fed fund rates had hit 20% in 1979 instead of 1981, well, Carter still would have lost, but history would look better at him.

            1. I doubt it. Raising the rate to that level killed the S&L’s, so that would have happened on Carter’s watch, too.

          3. But it was up in 3/78. Instead of Volcker, the US got a year and a half of G. William Miller’s money binge. Carter weaseling Miller out of the Fed chair was probably his best move as a politician.

    1. “Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.” ? Oscar Wilde on his deathbed

      1. [as candles were brought to his bedside] “What, the flames already? ? Voltaire

    2. I couldn’t find a link to Part 1 on that monstrosity of a website. Do you know if Giles Corey made the list?

    3. #5 = #1

  19. Carter ‘pleased’ with Egypt polls
    http://www.breitbart.com/artic….._article=1

    Egypt’s two main Islamist parties have scored a crushing victory in the seats declared so far, reflecting a regional trend since Arab Spring uprisings overthrew authoritarian secular regimes.

    Asked about Islamists coming to power, Carter said: “I have no problem with that. The US government has no problem with that either.”

    1. Carter is a theocrat at heart.

      1. So, because you haven’t violently contested the results of the 2008 election, you must be an Obama lover at heart.

    2. I’m glad I got to see the pyramids before they were bulldozed.

    3. Maybe Carter means “I have no problems with Egypt picking whoever they want to pick.” That sounds like something more than a few folks here could agree with. It’s their business who they pick.

  20. http://www.slate.com/blogs/mon…..ative.html

    Matt Yglesias breathlessly informs Slate readers that “Mitt Romney is pretty conservative”.

    1. I read the comments. Will I never learn?

      1. No…no you won’t.

        In other news, Fuck Yglesias sideways with a barbed baseball bat.

        1. It just shows that the GOP could run Ralph Nader and hacks like Yglesias would convince their brain dead readers what a radical libertarian conservative he was.

          1. Do you think Mitt, as he presents himself, is not “pretty conservative?” He’s got all the warmongering, immigration and gay bashing, sex-is-icky stances etc., that a conservative would want I would think.

            1. The man was a tax raising governor of Massachusetts who invented Obamacare.

              And last I looked the President said on multiple occasions that marriage is between man and woman. And blacks and hispanics, two overwhelmingly liberal demographics, are the most anti-gay rights and marriage of any group.

              Unless and until liberals walk away from the black and hispanic vote, I am not seeing how gay rights is really a liberal versus conservative thing. It seems to cut across ideological lines. See the Ron Paul people who are very conservative but pro gay as the counter example to blacks and hispanics who are very liberal but anti-gay.

              1. You make a few predictable mistakes here. First, you assume that what is liberal is defined by part of the “liberal coalition.” Second, you site Mitts record when what I pointed to was “as he presents himself.” He’s ran from much of that record.

                1. “I am not seeing how gay rights is really a liberal versus conservative thing”

                  Your own nominee candidates see this pretty clearly. Whatever agreement exists on some aspects of the issue its GOP candidates talking about a federal marriage amendment, defending DOMA and resisting DADT. A gay person would be a fool to be satisfied with the Dems, but a bigger fool to prefer the GOP. Hell, even gay GOP groups acknowledge that is how things stand now.

                  1. The most loyal and vital Democratic voting block to both parties are very anti gay. You don’t like that and like to pretend it is all puppies and rainbows on your team. But it isn’t. Sorry, but I can’t change reality to fit your prejudices.

                    1. “are very anti gay”

                      Yes, so anti-gay that it doesn’t seem to diminish their support for the party that takes pro-gay stances.

                2. You make your usual predictable mistake of ignoring everything I said and just saying something else. It is how you roll.

                  1. You’re a master at projection. I said “as he presents himself” Romney is pretty conservative, but you went on to say he is not based not on how he now presents himself, but on his record as governor over a decade ago, a record he has walked away from in most respects. So it is you who ignore what I was saying.

                    It’s like how you accuse me and people like NM of being “partisan hacks” when we both have easily demonstrable records of criticizing the Dems and liberals and pointing out many areas where we think conservatives, libertarians and even GOPers are better. Of course the only person who I can think of that has said their party is better on every single issue is you. I guess to a total hack everyone else seems like a hack for the other side.

                    1. easily demonstrable records of criticizing the Dems and liberals and pointing out many areas where we think conservatives, libertarians and even GOPers are better.

                      Now you are just being funny. You always claim to have such a record. But you never produce. You spend a lot of time claiming you do but no time actually doing so.

                      It is the great game we play. You claim there are all these areas. I say tell me which ones. And then you claim there are all of these areas without actually mentioning them.

                      It is like you think it is some kind of a Jedi mind trick. Sorry but we are not fooled.

                3. “You make a few predictable mistakes here”

                  If I had a dollar for every time you were annoying, I could afford to have you killed.

  21. “but Ron Paul beat out Jon Huntsman and the Ricks for second place”

    You wouldn’t have known it from pretty much every media story leading up to NH, which totally or practically ignored Paul and talked at goofy length of the “Huntsman surge” and “Santorum’s hopes.”

    Like I said on another thread, at this point Perry and Huntsman, in staying in the race, should be consider Romney operatives.

    1. Huntsman probably is. Perry just doesn’t have anything better to do. And I would lay good money that Pawlenty has already been promised the VP slot in return for dropping out early.

      1. I think Romney will look to a Southern pol, or at least one more traditionally thought of as conservative.

        Maybe that lady from SC? He might get some play from her at least if the rumors are true…

        1. Romney figures he will take the South no matter what. Where he needs to win is the midwest. Haley wouldn’t get him any votes he isn’t already taking for granted.

          1. christie maybe? hes nto midwestern but he’s got the “blue collar” immage and would be a great VP attack dog. Can you imagine a debate between christie and biden?

      2. How so? Huntsman’s voters would mostly go to Romney if he dropped out. Maybe a few would go to Paul.

    2. You could only make the case that they are Romney operatives if you believe that they are drawing votes from Paul. I really don’t see a majority of people who vote for Perry or frothy anal sex byproduct switching their votes to Paul over Romney. The best we could hope for is that they simply decide not to vote.

  22. Did Paul’s people “steal” the Iowa caucus after all?

    http://www.greeleygazette.com/press/?p=12764

    1. NYT is “projecting” 13 delegates for Romney and 12 for Santorum in Iowa. That is the most unbalanced projection I have seen (and none have been based on the real voting instead of the straw poll).

      1. I had read something similar before about Paul’s delegates more than likely giving Iowa to Paul. That will be interesting, especially since Romney didn’t appear to actually win the Iowa Caucuses, Santorum did.

        http://www.watchthevote2012.com/AffidavitTrue.htm

  23. 57 year old high school admin caught doing the nasty with 17 year old student.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..oy-17.html

    *barf*

    1. OMG. Get that kid some therapy.

      1. Any port in a storm, I guess. And 17yo horniness is definitely a storm.

    2. She’s pretty hot for a corpse.

    3. Well… I was going to say good for the male student…until I saw her picture. Lock. That. Hag. Up. Yesterday.

      1. I was going to say good for the male student

        Did you miss the part where I said she’s 57?

        1. Helen Mirrin is 66 and she can ride the Destroyer any day.

            1. Welcome to Libertopia, you prude. Free dildos and midget porn at the gate.

          1. I’m with you there. Helen Mirrin is a total GMILF.

            1. I’d rather have a Chinese bodyguard.

              1. Tomato, Tomotto.

          2. You win.

          3. You win.

        2. So if she were 27 it would be nice?

          1. Re: invisible furry hand,

            So if she were 27 it would be nice?

            If I were a 17 year old student, it would be nioe for ME. As long as the teacher looks like Kaley Cuoco and not like Kim Greist.

    4. The 17-year-old, who has not been identified, was charged with a lewd conduct misdemeanor.

      Charging the victim? WTF?

      1. If she had been hotter, he would have just gotten a hi-five.

        1. Bad taste isn’t a chargeable offense, otherwise the entire population of New Jersey would be in jail.

          1. Perhaps it should be just get rid of the state that produced Snooki?

      2. Ah, you know…probably that whole nekkid arsed bangin’ in the publix thing…

    5. What in hell is that?

  24. Owning car, TV linked to heart attacks: study
    http://www.breitbart.com/artic….._article=1

    Car owners with a television are 27 percent more likely to suffer heart attacks than people who have neither, according to a global study on physical exercise and heart disease published Wednesday.

    More broadly, the study — covering more than 29,000 people in 52 countries — showed that working up a light sweat may be the best preventative medicine against heart failure.

    1. Well, I guess Americans are safe.

    2. I see that the article does not mention the effect of traffic and nightmarish commutes on drivers. Moreover, maybe people could live within walking/biking distance of work if housing prices were not artificially propped up.

      1. And if so many jobs weren’t in industrial rather than residential districts.

        1. Let’s not discount that there are plenty of computer based ass-swelling jobs (many of them in/related to government), that either 1) shouldn’t exist and/or 2)should/can be done from home.

          I know northern Virginia/DC/MoCo would look less like gilliam’s Brazil if people could just do their bullshit jobs at home instead of killing each other on I-66 and I-95 so they can do it in some sterile office.

          1. True, but doing or not doing those jobs remotely doesn’t have anything to do propped up housing prices.

            I completely agree that more jobs could be done remotely — I telecommuted the last five years I worked — and things seem to be ever so slowly moving in that direction.

            However, living close to work is, in my experience, not feasible because of high apartment rent (not many houses in downtown) which are probably propped up to some extent by zoning and other regulations but are mostly high because there isn’t that much room and demand is high.

            1. If, hypothetically, more people could do their jobs from home, they wouldn’t even need to live near work (be it DC, Seattle, or New York) and they could live in less godforsaken hellholes in flyover country. In theory, this would create less demand to even live in cities because, in general, they kind of blow.

              I’m with you on living close to work, especially if you want to own any property. Even renting only seems feasible for lobbyists and kids supplemented with daddy’s moolah (NTTAWWT).

              Wish I could telecommute to work, but some Old World/Cold War mentality still permeates the “minds” of management forcing them to believe people are somehow more productive when they have to waste at least two hours of every day just getting some office. Utter Bullshit.

              1. “In theory, this would create less demand to even live in cities because, in general, they kind of blow.”

                Again, agreed, but this is due to supply and demand, not artificially high housing prices, or at least not artificially high prices in the way we usually think about it.

                I finally got to try telecommuting by pointing out that the 2 hours I spent non-productively in the car could now be spent productively at home, all for the same salary… without requiring their office space or electricity.

                It turned out — as I knew it would — that I could meet productivity requirements in about 3 hours at home and that, other than conference calls, the 3 hours didn’t have to be during “business hours” or even consecutive hours. I got more done in less time for less expense but still occasionally had to fend off attempts from other managers and higher-ups to make me come into the office because they wanted to see people in cubes.

    3. On the other hand, they’re less likely to die of starvation or freezing to death on the sidewalk, so there’s that.

  25. Paging Gil Kerlikowski!

    A large new government study has found that smoking marijuana on a regular basis, even over many years, does not impair lung function.

    Marijuana, the country’s most widely used illicit drug, has become increasingly popular and less stigmatized in recent years, particularly among young adults. One government report released in December found that one out of 15 high school students now smokes marijuana nearly every day, a growth fueled in part by the spread of medicinal marijuana, which is legal in 16 states. With its use rising, questions about the drug’s long-term medical consequences have garnered more attention.

    Somebody’s going to get a scolding.

    1. One government report released in December found that one out of 15 high school students now smokes marijuana nearly every day, a growth fueled in part by the spread of medicinal marijuana, which is legal in 16 states.

      Notice how they repeat as fact the government’s assertion that medical marijuana laws lead to increased illicit use, while data shows that use does not differ between states with and without MM laws.

  26. So I have a birthday with a 0 on the end coming up. What should I do that kicks ass and is not “girls day at the spa” lame?

    Vegas may be out of reach, but not out of the question. But something closer to DC is better. I’m kind of sporty/rednecky/outdoorsy. A couple of my friends have told me they think fly fishing is the deadly combination of frustrating and boring, so unless I take lessons by myself, that’s out.

    Any suggestion for cool shit to do in late March/early April in the Mid Atlantic?

    1. Deep sea fishing.

    2. Hookers and Blow.

    3. Count icebergs?

      1. Haven’t you heard of global warming?!?!?

        1. Well…I just think I figured out/remembered where Kromulent comes from. Tell me, Kristen, what embiggens the smallest man?

          1. That would be a noble spirit

    4. Go take a motorcycle safety class and get your license

      How about deep sea fishing off the bay?

      Skeet shooting?

      1. HHhmmm…skeet shooting. Or just shooting, at the range. Or archery. Now we’re gettin somewheres!

        1. Or, you know, shooting some heroin. Whatever floats your boat.

          But if you are interested… I may know a guy.

          1. Could always shoot a heroine. Though she might shoot back.

          2. I’m a major square, so I only do the wacky weed. Does your guy do the wacky weed? One of the options I was considering was a cabin in WV and a bag o’ something natural and organic and possibly hydroponic.

            1. Scratch my offer. My guy DID do wacky weed…until he was shot along with his dog 40 minutes ago. Damn. What a world.

            2. Combine a cabin and weed with some Trailer Park Boys DVDs.

        2. http://www.groupon.com/deals/g…..4c4e7d0332

          I got this from a friend this morning. groupon for a range in montgomery county

      2. I like deep sea fishing, too, but the weather is so damn iffy. I’d probably wait until late April if that were my choice.

      3. There’s a pretty cool outdoor range not too far from you. Actually, it’s more of a game preserve, and the best part is: the game walk around pretty unaware until you start shooting them.

        Here’s the link.

    5. Chinese bodyguard training.

      1. “You will learn knots and lashings”. Ahem.

    6. Too early for whitwater rafting? I dimly recall there’s some of that in the area from my youth.

    7. Check out the Appalachian Trail and the C&O Canal hikes in the area. It’s beautiful country and secluded enough in places so you could have your “O” at the end.

    8. The shooting idea is a good one. You should find a range that rents machine guns, though. There’s nothing like full auto.

      1. True dat. But ammo costs rack up WAY too quickly.

    9. Spend the day giving head to random strangers at the bus depot.

    10. Maybe you could build an earthquake device that levels D.C.?

    11. Head for international waters and witness some of the finest knife fighting our primate cousins have to offer.

    12. Spring Bear Hunt.

  27. Houston area highschool to force students to wear transparent backpacks:
    http://www.chron.com/news/hous…..457718.php

    1. Confirmation that the position of public school superintendent exists so that retards can have jobs.

      1. Confirmation that the position of public school superintendent government exists so that retards can have jobs.

        ftfy

        1. Come on now. That statement is an insult to the developmentally challenged.

          1. What’s your point?

    2. clothes will be next. Somewhere, Pedobear is smiling.

      1. Great, a kneejerk reaction from the “regulate first, think never, especially for teh childrenz” school:

        “We don’t know if he brought it in a backpack, but you know what it’s still a good thing to do,” she added.

        Transparent backpacks can be a tool in improving school security, but students still can find ways to smuggle in weapons, said Kenneth Trump, a national school safety consultant.

        “If a kid’s going to carry a gun to school more often than not it’s going to be on their person rather than in a backpack,” he said.

        1. And then the pervy school administrators will come up with mesh clothing as the next workaround.

          1. Or ban pockets.

            1. That only leaves orifices

              1. Ban orifices.

                1. Ban orifices.

                  Solves a myriad of issues, from student safety, to illicit drug use, and even childhood obesity.

                  Not-banning orifices is obviously completely irresponsible.

        2. but students still can find ways to smuggle in weapons,

          Gosh, ya think?

          (1) Go all Shawshank on their ass, and hollow out a book.

          (2) Put it in your fucking pocket.

          1. I can’t wait till a kid skips the smuggling-in step and just starts shooting into the school, from the sidewalk or another building.

    3. HISD already does this, at least at some schools.

    4. This is happening everywhere. Go to the backpack section of any sporting goods store, you’ll see dozens of mesh backpacks.

      Apparently there are a lot of mules in grammar school.

  28. Car owners with a television are 27 percent more likely to suffer heart attacks than people who have neither, according to a global study on physical exercise and heart disease published Wednesday.

    And, in other unexpected news, subsistence farmers are less prone to obesity.

  29. Count icebergs?

    1. Kill all squirrels.

      1. With hookers and blow.

        1. those hyper lil bastards have an unaffordably high tolerance. to both.

  30. My browser says “A.M. Links: Ron Paul Still Hot”

    That’s just wrong.

    1. Ron Paul, he’s so hot right now.

    2. My tab says A.M. Links: Ron Paul Still Hot on Romney…..

  31. Moreover, maybe people could live within walking/biking distance of work if housing prices were not artificially propped up.

    Or if the scourge of single use zoning were done away with.

    1. Trust me, as one who used to live less than a mile from work, you are always the first person they call to come in after hours when things go wrong. (OK, that was before I had a cell phone. Now when they call, I’m always out of town.)

    2. on the other hand, i like waking-up 20 mins before work…& arriving on time.

    3. I know I’d love a nice 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath house in the middle of a bunch of warehouses or storefronts.

  32. Houston area highschool to force students to wear transparent backpacks

    No more pellet guns.

    OFFICER SAFETY

    1. Are they going to have to have transparent books too? Cause it wouldn’t be hard to Shawshank Redemption a firearm into a Bible.

      1. Isn’t that book banned from public schools?
        It’s so… intolerant.

  33. This is my first morning link, and it’s not political nor even new. Japanese hornets vs honeybees.

    1. Collective action triumphs over isolated individualism once again.

      1. Actually, the hornets win. Derp.

        1. Yeah but it looks like one hornet dies, so socialism for the win or something.

        2. Only because the European honeybees were stupid and fought one on one against a much bigger arthropod.

          Native Japanese honeybees show how to fight off hornets.

          1. But the European bees aren’t adapted to cook hornets AFAIK. The difference is what, two degrees?

  34. How not to do a SC focus group: CNN reporter gets pwned when trying to show “overwheling support” for Mitt, lone black woman shows support for Paul

    This is hilarious – wait for the part where the reporter expects almost everybody to raise their hand… and then they don’t.

    1. Dude…that is pretty damn funny. Although…that one guy needs to make sure he knows what Liberty before he associates the Grinch with it in a positive way.

    2. Actually seven people raise their hands for Paul. This is the kind of biased anti-Paul shit I’ve come to expect from you OM.

      1. Re: PS,

        Actually seven people raise their hands for Paul.

        Yes, but in between those the only black person in the crowd raised her hand as well. Boom!

  35. California boy gets wish to blow up building from the Make a Wish foundation.

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/si…..49077.html

    1. Someone’s name just got added to the no fly list.

  36. “Ron Paul Still Hot”

    The fuck?

  37. California boy gets wish to blow up building from the Make a Wish foundation.

    I hope the building is the state capitol.

    1. Ha! Funny!
      Will you be here all week?

  38. You go through a lot of diapers in a day, don’t you, pusillanimous nonentity?

    I should look into buying Kimberly Clark stock.

  39. Balko is promising a book-length nut punch!

  40. Did someone steal Hostess’s cookies? Or was that Drake’s?

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