Friday Funnies

Driving on Mute

Chip Bok | 12.16.2011 7:00 AM

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Lord Humungus 13 years ago

needs more captions.
1. Dude! 13 years ago
  
  That is funny every time.
  1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
    
    you just can't beat the classics.
Fist of Etiquette 13 years ago

Why is the TSA agent stopping that doctor from checking avant-garde Santa's heartbeat?
1. Fatty Bolger 13 years ago
  
  That is EXACTLY what I saw at first glance, too.
  1. The Art-P.O.G. 13 years ago
    
    Hmmm...now that would have been high art.
  2. Rich 13 years ago
    
    Ditto. Dali would be proud of you, Chip.
2. Sparky 13 years ago
  
  I guess you gotta get here earlier to claim the good comments. That's also the first thing I saw.
  1. wylie 13 years ago
    
    something something city-state blah blah privation yadda yadda comments
3. Tonio 13 years ago
  
  Yeah, totally looks like Santa. WTF, Bok? What you smokin' there?
4. Bill 13 years ago
  
  Looks like Santa is female.
Lord Humungus 13 years ago

is that an electric car? Because it appears to have an AC plug in the front.
1. Tulpa 13 years ago
  
  I think Bok is trying to poke fun at all the other federal regulation of cars at the same time, hence the AC plug (which doesn't look anything like that on real electric cars) and the tiny car.
  
  Or maybe he just can't draw.
Bee Tagger 13 years ago

Uh, that car's balls are above it's penis.
1. sage 13 years ago
  
  People will do some of the weirdest fucking surgeries.
  1. Lord Humungus 13 years ago
    
    I'm sure SugarFree will have a link addressing this certain fetish.
2. Dude! 13 years ago
  
  The balls are above it is penis?
  1. Bee Tagger 13 years ago
    
    I make one mistake and you start treating me like a regular Chip Bok.
    1. Dude! 13 years ago
      
      It is funny 'cause it is true.
3. Drax the Destroyer 13 years ago
  
  BEANS ABOVE THE FRANK BOY! HOW'D YOU GET THE BEANS ABOVE THE FRANK!?
4. Bill 13 years ago
  
  That's a giant uni-breast.
Punchbowl Turd 13 years ago

You guys are the most cleverest wits!
1. U Guise 13 years ago
  
  And you are the weverest cl
rather 13 years ago

Chip needs a relaxing vacation; I wonder when they will privatize Guantanamo?
PS 13 years ago

Can anyone tell me what happened with Ron Paul and the 'Iran question' last night?

The BBC had this condescending tripe to offer:

"Ron Paul started out like a man who had a faint whiff of victory in his nostrils, repeatedly marketing his long-held views on monetary policy and the constitution as "electable". But his pitch to Iowa's undecided voters unravelled on Iran, where he began to sound rantingly out of touch with mainstream Republican thought."

Rantingly out of touch? Are you sure he wasn't dark and stormily out of touch you limey douche?
1. Sparky 13 years ago
  
  It was something along the lines of we shouldn't be over there if they're not doing anything to us.
  
  To which Michelle Bachmann said something along the lines of your dangerous views are going to get us all killed old man.
  1. Bill 13 years ago
    
    Really. I mean, how insane is he to think that you don't have to attack every country that might be doing something that you don't like?
    
    Pakistan and N. Korea have nukes (we think?) We have not attacked them. But some of these a-holes are saying we should invade Iran just in case they might get a nuke. Gee, is that going to make it more or less likely that they will develop and/or use a nuke against us?
2. ? 13 years ago
  
  Try to focus. Morning Links will be along shortly. Patience, dear.
  1. Sparky 13 years ago
    
    Is this an example of libertarian board moderation? The people in charge won't do it so some kindly commenter steps in and takes care of it?
    1. ? 13 years ago
      
      I could tell you, but then I'd have to eliminate you.
    2. Tulpa 13 years ago
      
      +1 me
      1. ? 13 years ago
        
        The cool kids stopped doing that two weeks ago.
3. limey douche 13 years ago
  
  Ooooh! I guess you scolded me!
4. Cabeza de Vaca 13 years ago
  
  All he said was there was no proof that Iran was trying to build a nuclear bomb.
  1. Tulpa 13 years ago
    
    That's not all he said.
    
    He tried to escape by just saying that but then Brett Baier kept following up (in the most condescending manner that he gave none of the other candidates, I might add) and he started going off on all of his foreign policy tangents about millions (?!) of Iraqis killed and bases around the world and generally looked like a kook.
    1. John 13 years ago
      
      Sorry. But at this point no one is claiming the Iran is not building nukes. He was stupid to say that. If it kills him to admit the obvious, then say "we don't know for sure". But to say definitively they are not is a kooky thing to say.
      1. Bill 13 years ago
        
        We had this argument about Iraq just a few years ago. I'm sure they are "trying" to build one and may eventually get one but we still don't have proof of how far along they are, which I think is his point. And it is pure speculation to say that they will try to attack us. Just more fear-mongering. That's how most bad policies get enacted. The drug war, the ban on light bulbs, Medicare D, whatever.
        
        If they get the bomb, they may rattle their swords, but if they use it against Israel or share the technology, there will be repercussions and they know it. And they do have a democracy and leaders who increase their risk of getting nuked or invaded will be deposed eventually.
        
        Fatty Bolger 13 years ago
        
        They don't have a democracy. They hold elections, true. But the people actually in charge are not elected.
    2. PS 13 years ago
      
      I gathered from the comments I saw on the pseudo-debate thread that he didn't come off well.
      1. stephen 13 years ago
        
        Problem is, everyone who already agrees knows what he's 'trying' to say. But he got flustered and started dropping the ends of his sentences and it just looked bad. It made me a little sad because he's so close to taking Iowa and last night was his moment to shine.
        
        Francisco d Anconia 13 years ago
        
        Agree 100%. God, I wish he was better at verbal communication.
        
        Too bad debates weren't in book format.
5. Drax the Destroyer 13 years ago
  
  Eh, Fuck 'em. If the so-called conservatives don't support him, I don't think they can beat Obama(not that he is acceptable in the slightest) with the Grinch or RomneyBot 2012, but I kind of like hearing whiny neo-cons bitch and moan about brown people this, Caliphate that. It's like they thought 24 was a documentary. The most troublesome thing is that they would secretly love Iran to get a nuke and use it so WW3 can start while they jerk off to kill-cam videos of tomahawk missiles blowing up schools and hospitals (as well as the assumed military targets). For Iran, it might be best to actually claim they have a nuke, and when it's not used within a fortnight, maybe the hysteria would die down...assuming they weren't nuked in kneejerk fashion by Israel (or the U.S.). It wouldn't be the first time our government killed heaps of people based on faulty intelligence...probably not the last. Heh, and we wonder why some people would have a problem with that.
  1. gaijin 13 years ago
    
    yeah, most of the other candidates were decidedly prowar, forever, last night. Santorum even said they hate us because of our freedoms. And Paul is called the kooky one?!.
  2. Fatty Bolger 13 years ago
    
    I don't know about Gingrich, but I think Romney would beat him fairly easily.
  3. Enjoy Every Sandwich 13 years ago
    
    And all of the other candidates kept rolling out that pathetic "mad mullahs" argument.
6. Tulpa 13 years ago
  
  rantingly out of touch with mainstream Republican thought.
  
  He's sounded rantingly out of touch with mainstream Republican thought on Iran for 10 years. Which is more a problem with mainstream Republican thought than with him.
  1. PS 13 years ago
    
    I know, but isn't it ironic for a left-wing, 'anti-war' BBC to wantonly defend the Republican mainstream and attack Paul.
    
    And they are convinced they are most objective news source in the Universe.
    1. Bill 13 years ago
      
      It's almost like their fear of the evil capitalism is so much greater than any principles they hold on war and peace, etc. that they are against everything Paul says.
  2. Tonio 13 years ago
    
    The limeys and eurotrash are shitting their pants that RP will win and they'll have to take over a bigger role in international policing.
    
    Also at the loss of income from all those military bases we have over there. Base rental, support services contracts, jobs, servicemembers shopping in their stores, etc, etc, etc.
  3. Enjoy Every Sandwich 13 years ago
    
    Which is more a problem with mainstream Republican thought than with him.
    
    Exactly. I wish someone would ask those blow-dried blowhards who declare "On my watch Iran won't have a nuke!" the simple question: "So what are you going to do about it?"
7. Endless Mike 13 years ago
  
  If he is going to forward this view on Iran, he needs to be able to articulate it. His website does a nice job showing an old GW Bush debate where W says that he doesn't think the US should be nation building or policeman of the world, and then RP says "I agree". But whenever he is faced with what is essentially the EXACT SAME FUCKING QUESTION at every single debate, he either sputters, shrugs, or otherwise frightens the shit out of the heavily hawkish Republican "mainstream". There were better answers on this Chip Bok comment page than a supposedly serious presidential candidate was able to give to a question he has been REPEATEDLY asked. He ends up looking out of touch and unsure of himself. FUCK!
Spoonman. 13 years ago

Either I'm not sober at work or this is the weirdest thing I have seen in years. And I'm sober.
1. The Art-P.O.G. 13 years ago
  
  Why is the guy wearing headphones?
  1. Spoonman. 13 years ago
    
    I just realized that was supposed to be a hands-free device. I thought it was the Stethoscope of Insanity.
    
    Shit, Rick Perry could mumble a more coherent idea in his sleep than this cartoon presents.
Terr 13 years ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
CalebT 13 years ago

CHRISTOPHER GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN GOD-HATIN' PRESIDENT RAPIN'A ACCUSATIN' MOTHER TERESATIN' FUCKING OATH OF CITIZENSHIP TAKIN' HITCHENS!

Sorry, I've been trying to hold it in for 12 hours now.
1. John 13 years ago
  
  Your forgot wildly overrated writer. While there is a lot to be said for being an angry, nasty little bastard, you need to be more than that to be a great writer.
  1. ? 13 years ago
    
    Aw, somebody's god-ox got gored.
    Cheer up, John. Your gang still has the most idiots.
  2. John's Spot-On Nemesis Tonio 13 years ago
    
    Well, John, you're an angry nasty little bastard, too. Hitchens may not have been a great writer, but he was a widely published one and his ideas got traction in society.
    
    You....well, not so much. What have you had published, John? How have your ideas influenced anyone outside the very small pond of H&R.
    
    ESAD
    1. ? 13 years ago
      
      Heh. John goes for quantity, not quality.
2. Tulpa 13 years ago
  
  Must be watched.
  1. CalebT 13 years ago
    
    I followed the New Atheism phenomenon very closely when it first started around 2006-2007. This was one of my favorite moments because it captured not only wanted I wanted to say as an atheist but also as a human being. I'm not sure I could ever be so callous as Hitchens was that night, but it definitely made me want to speak out for I believed in.
    1. Tonio 13 years ago
      
      Hitch said those things that the rest of us (atheists) wanted to, but couldn't. His balls weighed one ton each and were made of brass.
      
      By staking out the extreme position he also allowed the rest of us to seem far more reasonable. He took innumerable hits for the team.
      1. ryan 13 years ago
        
        I thought his criticism was rather mild, relative to the complete truth.
  2. BigT 13 years ago
    
    Hitch was truly great
  3. Bill 13 years ago
    
    Hitch really needed to just come out and say what he really thought about Falwell and not just nibble around the edges. LOL
    
    Excellent video.
El Duderino 13 years ago

Fez hat?
1. Sonny Plastashun 13 years ago
  
  Purple rat?
Alan Vanneman 13 years ago

This cartoon is not funny. It's didactic, poorly drawn, and unimaginative. But it's not actively unfunny. In other words, it's not a Henry Payne cartoon.
1. Tulpa 13 years ago
  
  Or a Vannemmann post.
John 13 years ago

It looks like the Republicans stuck a rider on the new spending bill to repeal the 100 watt incandescent light bulb ban. For that alone, the 2010 elections were a Godsend.

http://thehill.com/homenews/ho.....nding-deal
1. Tulpa 13 years ago
  
  If BO signs that, the left will revolt. It's one thing to continue the Iraq war for 3 years and keep Gitmo open and raid medical MJ clinics, but allowing careless people to rape Gaia with a tungsten filament is a mite too far.
  1. John 13 years ago
    
    He has to sign it. The Democrats in the Senate made the deal. He can't shut down the government by vetoing a deal his own party in Congress signed onto. The Left will just have to whine and suck it up. Obama only beats them because he loves them.
    1. Barack Obama 13 years ago
      
      He can't shut down the government by vetoing a deal his own party in Congress signed onto.
      
      Let me be clear.
      
      There are some who say that I can do whatever I want.
  2. Cabeza de Vaca 13 years ago
    
    Sadly, I think you might be right about that.
  3. Barely Suppressed Rage 13 years ago
    
    If BO signs that, the left will revolt.
    
    They're already revolting.
    1. Bill 13 years ago
      
      +10
  4. Zeb 13 years ago
    
    Really? I thought everyone hated the light bulb ban.
Terr 13 years ago

Why did the guy murder and taxiderm his family for public display?
P Brooks 13 years ago

the Republicans stuck a rider on the new spending bill to repeal the 100 watt incandescent light bulb ban

Gaia-haters be hatin' Gaia.

Cartoon? Needs more labels.
And a monorail.
1. Auric Demonocles 13 years ago
  
  I wonder if I should start demanding alt-text on Friday Funnies. That's sort of like more labels.
P Brooks 13 years ago

Why did the TSA pull that guy over for drunk driving in his own driveway?

It doesn't make sense.
1. CalebT 13 years ago
  
  The Santa Car and you decide to focus on the TSA agent?!
  1. 13 years ago
    
    Why are his beans above the frank?
    1. ? 13 years ago
      
      Why are you stealing my non-handle?
Auric Demonocles 13 years ago

Where are the links?
Ice Nine 13 years ago

I mean, I know it's a cartoon and everything but still, why does the car have a face?
Eduard van Haalen 13 years ago

OK, I finally saw his cell phone. I was going to ask, where was he keeping it? The TSA glove guy would be a clue here.
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Bob 13 years ago

Guys give them some credit, it was posted on Friday. 1 for 2 is not bad.

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