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Friday Funnies

Driving on Mute

Chip Bok | 12.16.2011 7:00 AM

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Chip Bok
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  1. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

    needs more captions.

    1. Dude!   13 years ago

      That is funny every time.

      1. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

        you just can’t beat the classics.

  2. Fist of Etiquette   13 years ago

    Why is the TSA agent stopping that doctor from checking avant-garde Santa’s heartbeat?

    1. Fatty Bolger   13 years ago

      That is EXACTLY what I saw at first glance, too.

      1. The Art-P.O.G.   13 years ago

        Hmmm…now that would have been high art.

      2. Rich   13 years ago

        Ditto. Dali would be proud of you, Chip.

    2. Sparky   13 years ago

      I guess you gotta get here earlier to claim the good comments. That’s also the first thing I saw.

      1. wylie   13 years ago

        something something city-state blah blah privation yadda yadda comments

    3. Tonio   13 years ago

      Yeah, totally looks like Santa. WTF, Bok? What you smokin’ there?

    4. Bill   13 years ago

      Looks like Santa is female.

  3. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

    is that an electric car? Because it appears to have an AC plug in the front.

    1. Tulpa   13 years ago

      I think Bok is trying to poke fun at all the other federal regulation of cars at the same time, hence the AC plug (which doesn’t look anything like that on real electric cars) and the tiny car.

      Or maybe he just can’t draw.

  4. Bee Tagger   13 years ago

    Uh, that car’s balls are above it’s penis.

    1. sage   13 years ago

      People will do some of the weirdest fucking surgeries.

      1. Lord Humungus   13 years ago

        I’m sure SugarFree will have a link addressing this certain fetish.

    2. Dude!   13 years ago

      The balls are above it is penis?

      1. Bee Tagger   13 years ago

        I make one mistake and you start treating me like a regular Chip Bok.

        1. Dude!   13 years ago

          It is funny ’cause it is true.

    3. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

      BEANS ABOVE THE FRANK BOY! HOW’D YOU GET THE BEANS ABOVE THE FRANK!?

    4. Bill   13 years ago

      That’s a giant uni-breast.

  5. Punchbowl Turd   13 years ago

    You guys are the most cleverest wits!

    1. U Guise   13 years ago

      And you are the weverest cl

  6. rather   13 years ago

    Chip needs a relaxing vacation; I wonder when they will privatize Guantanamo?

  7. PS   13 years ago

    Can anyone tell me what happened with Ron Paul and the ‘Iran question’ last night?

    The BBC had this condescending tripe to offer:

    “Ron Paul started out like a man who had a faint whiff of victory in his nostrils, repeatedly marketing his long-held views on monetary policy and the constitution as “electable”. But his pitch to Iowa’s undecided voters unravelled on Iran, where he began to sound rantingly out of touch with mainstream Republican thought.”

    Rantingly out of touch? Are you sure he wasn’t dark and stormily out of touch you limey douche?

    1. Sparky   13 years ago

      It was something along the lines of we shouldn’t be over there if they’re not doing anything to us.

      To which Michelle Bachmann said something along the lines of your dangerous views are going to get us all killed old man.

      1. Bill   13 years ago

        Really. I mean, how insane is he to think that you don’t have to attack every country that might be doing something that you don’t like?

        Pakistan and N. Korea have nukes (we think?) We have not attacked them. But some of these a-holes are saying we should invade Iran just in case they might get a nuke. Gee, is that going to make it more or less likely that they will develop and/or use a nuke against us?

    2. ?   13 years ago

      Try to focus. Morning Links will be along shortly. Patience, dear.

      1. Sparky   13 years ago

        Is this an example of libertarian board moderation? The people in charge won’t do it so some kindly commenter steps in and takes care of it?

        1. ?   13 years ago

          I could tell you, but then I’d have to eliminate you.

        2. Tulpa   13 years ago

          +1 me

          1. ?   13 years ago

            The cool kids stopped doing that two weeks ago.

    3. limey douche   13 years ago

      Ooooh! I guess you scolded me!

    4. Cabeza de Vaca   13 years ago

      All he said was there was no proof that Iran was trying to build a nuclear bomb.

      1. Tulpa   13 years ago

        That’s not all he said.

        He tried to escape by just saying that but then Brett Baier kept following up (in the most condescending manner that he gave none of the other candidates, I might add) and he started going off on all of his foreign policy tangents about millions (?!) of Iraqis killed and bases around the world and generally looked like a kook.

        1. John   13 years ago

          Sorry. But at this point no one is claiming the Iran is not building nukes. He was stupid to say that. If it kills him to admit the obvious, then say “we don’t know for sure”. But to say definitively they are not is a kooky thing to say.

          1. Bill   13 years ago

            We had this argument about Iraq just a few years ago. I’m sure they are “trying” to build one and may eventually get one but we still don’t have proof of how far along they are, which I think is his point. And it is pure speculation to say that they will try to attack us. Just more fear-mongering. That’s how most bad policies get enacted. The drug war, the ban on light bulbs, Medicare D, whatever.

            If they get the bomb, they may rattle their swords, but if they use it against Israel or share the technology, there will be repercussions and they know it. And they do have a democracy and leaders who increase their risk of getting nuked or invaded will be deposed eventually.

            1. Fatty Bolger   13 years ago

              They don’t have a democracy. They hold elections, true. But the people actually in charge are not elected.

        2. PS   13 years ago

          I gathered from the comments I saw on the pseudo-debate thread that he didn’t come off well.

          1. stephen   13 years ago

            Problem is, everyone who already agrees knows what he’s ‘trying’ to say. But he got flustered and started dropping the ends of his sentences and it just looked bad. It made me a little sad because he’s so close to taking Iowa and last night was his moment to shine.

            1. Francisco d Anconia   13 years ago

              Agree 100%. God, I wish he was better at verbal communication.

              Too bad debates weren’t in book format.

    5. Drax the Destroyer   13 years ago

      Eh, Fuck ’em. If the so-called conservatives don’t support him, I don’t think they can beat Obama(not that he is acceptable in the slightest) with the Grinch or RomneyBot 2012, but I kind of like hearing whiny neo-cons bitch and moan about brown people this, Caliphate that. It’s like they thought 24 was a documentary. The most troublesome thing is that they would secretly love Iran to get a nuke and use it so WW3 can start while they jerk off to kill-cam videos of tomahawk missiles blowing up schools and hospitals (as well as the assumed military targets). For Iran, it might be best to actually claim they have a nuke, and when it’s not used within a fortnight, maybe the hysteria would die down…assuming they weren’t nuked in kneejerk fashion by Israel (or the U.S.). It wouldn’t be the first time our government killed heaps of people based on faulty intelligence…probably not the last. Heh, and we wonder why some people would have a problem with that.

      1. gaijin   13 years ago

        yeah, most of the other candidates were decidedly prowar, forever, last night. Santorum even said they hate us because of our freedoms. And Paul is called the kooky one?!.

      2. Fatty Bolger   13 years ago

        I don’t know about Gingrich, but I think Romney would beat him fairly easily.

      3. Enjoy Every Sandwich   13 years ago

        And all of the other candidates kept rolling out that pathetic “mad mullahs” argument.

    6. Tulpa   13 years ago

      rantingly out of touch with mainstream Republican thought.

      He’s sounded rantingly out of touch with mainstream Republican thought on Iran for 10 years. Which is more a problem with mainstream Republican thought than with him.

      1. PS   13 years ago

        I know, but isn’t it ironic for a left-wing, ‘anti-war’ BBC to wantonly defend the Republican mainstream and attack Paul.

        And they are convinced they are most objective news source in the Universe.

        1. Bill   13 years ago

          It’s almost like their fear of the evil capitalism is so much greater than any principles they hold on war and peace, etc. that they are against everything Paul says.

      2. Tonio   13 years ago

        The limeys and eurotrash are shitting their pants that RP will win and they’ll have to take over a bigger role in international policing.

        Also at the loss of income from all those military bases we have over there. Base rental, support services contracts, jobs, servicemembers shopping in their stores, etc, etc, etc.

      3. Enjoy Every Sandwich   13 years ago

        Which is more a problem with mainstream Republican thought than with him.

        Exactly. I wish someone would ask those blow-dried blowhards who declare “On my watch Iran won’t have a nuke!” the simple question: “So what are you going to do about it?”

    7. Endless Mike   13 years ago

      If he is going to forward this view on Iran, he needs to be able to articulate it. His website does a nice job showing an old GW Bush debate where W says that he doesn’t think the US should be nation building or policeman of the world, and then RP says “I agree”. But whenever he is faced with what is essentially the EXACT SAME FUCKING QUESTION at every single debate, he either sputters, shrugs, or otherwise frightens the shit out of the heavily hawkish Republican “mainstream”. There were better answers on this Chip Bok comment page than a supposedly serious presidential candidate was able to give to a question he has been REPEATEDLY asked. He ends up looking out of touch and unsure of himself. FUCK!

  8. Spoonman.   13 years ago

    Either I’m not sober at work or this is the weirdest thing I have seen in years. And I’m sober.

    1. The Art-P.O.G.   13 years ago

      Why is the guy wearing headphones?

      1. Spoonman.   13 years ago

        I just realized that was supposed to be a hands-free device. I thought it was the Stethoscope of Insanity.

        Shit, Rick Perry could mumble a more coherent idea in his sleep than this cartoon presents.

  9. Terr   13 years ago

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  10. CalebT   13 years ago

    CHRISTOPHER GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN GOD-HATIN’ PRESIDENT RAPIN’A ACCUSATIN’ MOTHER TERESATIN’ FUCKING OATH OF CITIZENSHIP TAKIN’ HITCHENS!

    Sorry, I’ve been trying to hold it in for 12 hours now.

    1. John   13 years ago

      Your forgot wildly overrated writer. While there is a lot to be said for being an angry, nasty little bastard, you need to be more than that to be a great writer.

      1. ?   13 years ago

        Aw, somebody’s god-ox got gored.
        Cheer up, John. Your gang still has the most idiots.

      2. John's Spot-On Nemesis Tonio   13 years ago

        Well, John, you’re an angry nasty little bastard, too. Hitchens may not have been a great writer, but he was a widely published one and his ideas got traction in society.

        You….well, not so much. What have you had published, John? How have your ideas influenced anyone outside the very small pond of H&R.

        ESAD

        1. ?   13 years ago

          Heh. John goes for quantity, not quality.

    2. Tulpa   13 years ago

      Must be watched.

      1. CalebT   13 years ago

        I followed the New Atheism phenomenon very closely when it first started around 2006-2007. This was one of my favorite moments because it captured not only wanted I wanted to say as an atheist but also as a human being. I’m not sure I could ever be so callous as Hitchens was that night, but it definitely made me want to speak out for I believed in.

        1. Tonio   13 years ago

          Hitch said those things that the rest of us (atheists) wanted to, but couldn’t. His balls weighed one ton each and were made of brass.

          By staking out the extreme position he also allowed the rest of us to seem far more reasonable. He took innumerable hits for the team.

          1. ryan   13 years ago

            I thought his criticism was rather mild, relative to the complete truth.

      2. BigT   13 years ago

        Hitch was truly great

      3. Bill   13 years ago

        Hitch really needed to just come out and say what he really thought about Falwell and not just nibble around the edges. LOL

        Excellent video.

  11. El Duderino   13 years ago

    Fez hat?

    1. Sonny Plastashun   13 years ago

      Purple rat?

  12. Alan Vanneman   13 years ago

    This cartoon is not funny. It’s didactic, poorly drawn, and unimaginative. But it’s not actively unfunny. In other words, it’s not a Henry Payne cartoon.

    1. Tulpa   13 years ago

      Or a Vannemmann post.

  13. John   13 years ago

    It looks like the Republicans stuck a rider on the new spending bill to repeal the 100 watt incandescent light bulb ban. For that alone, the 2010 elections were a Godsend.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/ho…..nding-deal

    1. Tulpa   13 years ago

      If BO signs that, the left will revolt. It’s one thing to continue the Iraq war for 3 years and keep Gitmo open and raid medical MJ clinics, but allowing careless people to rape Gaia with a tungsten filament is a mite too far.

      1. John   13 years ago

        He has to sign it. The Democrats in the Senate made the deal. He can’t shut down the government by vetoing a deal his own party in Congress signed onto. The Left will just have to whine and suck it up. Obama only beats them because he loves them.

        1. Barack Obama   13 years ago

          He can’t shut down the government by vetoing a deal his own party in Congress signed onto.

          Let me be clear.

          There are some who say that I can do whatever I want.

      2. Cabeza de Vaca   13 years ago

        Sadly, I think you might be right about that.

      3. Barely Suppressed Rage   13 years ago

        If BO signs that, the left will revolt.

        They’re already revolting.

        1. Bill   13 years ago

          +10

      4. Zeb   13 years ago

        Really? I thought everyone hated the light bulb ban.

  14. Terr   13 years ago

    Why did the guy murder and taxiderm his family for public display?

  15. P Brooks   13 years ago

    the Republicans stuck a rider on the new spending bill to repeal the 100 watt incandescent light bulb ban

    Gaia-haters be hatin’ Gaia.

    Cartoon? Needs more labels.
    And a monorail.

    1. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

      I wonder if I should start demanding alt-text on Friday Funnies. That’s sort of like more labels.

  16. P Brooks   13 years ago

    Why did the TSA pull that guy over for drunk driving in his own driveway?

    It doesn’t make sense.

    1. CalebT   13 years ago

      The Santa Car and you decide to focus on the TSA agent?!

      1.   13 years ago

        Why are his beans above the frank?

        1. ?   13 years ago

          Why are you stealing my non-handle?

  17. Auric Demonocles   13 years ago

    Where are the links?

  18. Ice Nine   13 years ago

    I mean, I know it’s a cartoon and everything but still, why does the car have a face?

  19. Eduard van Haalen   13 years ago

    OK, I finally saw his cell phone. I was going to ask, where was he keeping it? The TSA glove guy would be a clue here.

  20. first   13 years ago

    Say hello to someone special ? Yoko is our very first model from the beautiful South East Asian country, Vietnam.

    She is a rare beauty with an ultra-petite frame, long raven hair and silky, smooth skin. She has a shy charming smile that will instantly win your heart.

    Yoko only started modeling nude very recently and, fortunately for us, she says it turns her on! She really loves the feeling of being naked and the freedom she feels when modeling nude. She surprised even herself by loving it so much!

    Yoko hopes she can show the world the beauty of Vietnamese woman ? we think she already has!

    A stunning addition to the Hegre model team we know you are just going to love Yoko!

  21. first   13 years ago

    Welcome along Hungarian model Orsi. Petter Hegre had to spend a good amount of time pursuing Orsi to bring her here to Hegre-Art.com. But we are sure you will agree it was a worthwhile process!

    Brunette Orsi is an experienced model but very rarely poses nude. And even then it is usually for top publications such as Perfect 10, FHM and Matador. With her perfect proportions it is easy to see why she is in such high demand.

    Orsi is a very calm, confident and classy girl. She is intelligent and refined and is presently in her third year at university studying architecture. They say that men don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses but when Orsi puts on her spectacles she looks like the sexiest school teacher you could ever wish to meet!

    The perfect combination of brains and natural beauty, Hegre-Art is proud to have this exquisite model join the team.

  22. first   13 years ago

    Despite having a beautiful face with piercing blue eyes you may, or may not, be surprised to hear that Melissa is a proud winner of the “Miss Ass” title – an annual competition that is held on the British Virgin Islands!

    With stunning long hair, a muscular, toned body and incredibly perky tits Melissa’s body just cries out to be photographed. In her physical prime Melissa likes to keep in shape and views her body as a temple. She chooses her foods carefully making sure everything contributes to optimum health.

    Because Melissa has a powerful frame it would be easy to believe that she is a tough kind of girl, but Melissa is actually more the emotional type. The taut, toned body conceals a much softer centre!

    Naturally stunning and sexy, we know you are going to enjoy admiring all of Melissa’s perfectly petite body!

  23. Bob   13 years ago

    Guys give them some credit, it was posted on Friday. 1 for 2 is not bad.

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