Durban Deal Done—Climate Change Conference Ends


Planet to get carbon colonic.

Durban, South Africa—The 17th conference of the parties (COP-17) of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change pulled back from the brink of collapse at around 3:30 a.m. on Sunday morning. Briefly, agreement between the negotiators from nearly 200 countries was achieved by adopting a formula that launches a process that commits the UNFCCC to negotiating a protocol, another legal instrument or an "agreed outcome with legal force." This "roadmap" is supposed to lead to an agreement by 2015 which would be in force by 2020. The agreement will supposedly for the first time require all countries, rich and poor, to restrict in some way their greenhouse gas emissions. 

In exchange for an agreement to this roadmap, the European Union graciously consented to keeping the Kyoto Protocol alive by imposing for the next five years further restrictions on greenhouse gas emissions on its citizens.

The climate negotiators also agreed to launch the Green Climate Fund which will redistribute aid from rich country taxpayers to poor country governments with the goal of helping poor countries cope with climate change. At the Copenhagen and Cancun climate conferences, rich countries promised to suppy $100 billion in climate aid annually by 2020. However, how much of the $100 billion would flow through the Green Climate Fund is still not decided and how the Fund will be financed is also not decided.

More analysis later.

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  1. Does this mean there will be more such conferences?

    I’d like to know, so I can schedule my defecation breaks properly.

  2. “The climate negotiators also agreed to launch the Green Climate Fund which will redistribute aid from rich country taxpayers to poor country governments with the goal of helping poor countries cope with climate change.”


  3. Cartman: So was I right? Was it a bunch of gay cowboys eating puddin’?

    Stanly: Yep. Pretty much.

  4. At the Copenhagen and Cancun climate
    conferences, rich countries promised to suppy $100 billion in
    climate aid annually by 2020.

    That’s a lot of money. I have the utmost faith it will be spent wisely, appropriately, and without undue political influence.

    1. “Most of that money will be spent on having more conferences: More booze, dope, partying and whores — I love it!”

  5. In that picture, the doctors are holding the globe upside down. If they can’t even get the Earth’s basic anatomy right, how can I trust them to forcibly shift wealth around correctly?

    1. How else are they going to shake money out of pockets?

      1. And they can store all of that money in number 2 jars with tight fitting lids.

    2. the globe upside down.

      This deal turns the world upside down you see…

    3. Not to be pedantic, but the earth is a sphere floating in space. There is no “upside down” or “right” orientation, except in your mind. They may have held the globe that way to make a point.

      1. Good to see I’m not the only who can step on and ruin a good joke that I didn’t get yet felt compelled to show off my brilliance anyway.

        1. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

        2. I’m sorry, did you just call that “a good joke?” Pedant Man is pedantic, but he can hardly ruin what doesn’t exist. The joke was mediocre at best.

          1. definitely not a good joke

            1. Get a load of Statler and Waldorf over here.

      2. “Down” is where the enemy’ gate is.

      3. Right hand rule, anyone?

    4. The Southern Hemisphere is the “Future”.

    5. The globe obviously has a message to convey. During the past 500 years, the majority of map publishers were located in Europe and North America. By publishing North-oriented maps, they emphasized the geography of their own two continents, placing the others on the periphery. Such a secondary cartographic position also suggests that these continents were not as important economically or culturally. By creating a map with a totally opposite view point, the publishers are saying that there are other ways to look at the world. Their upside down perspective puts Africa in the center, flanked by Australia and South America. This orientation emphasizes the Third World countries, suggesting perhaps that they are also an important part of the world community and that we need to constantly reevaluate our perspectives.

      1. I believe maps and globes turned upside down (S on top) usually come with a rant about how the countries of the Northern Hemisphere have oppressed the countries of the Southern Hemisphere with Australia not being mentioned except for the white man’s oppression of the aborigines.

  6. Now is the time to practice farting in jars. All of that methane will be locked away until it can be burned cleanly in a methane-anal-mobile. Farts powering vehicles cleanly, being used to cook food, being used for huffing. What could be better?

    1. Helle, I’m thinking of giving you the Reason cruise as a jewish non-christmas gift but it occurred to me that your farting meme is on a count of your own ass issue; let me know if I need to take a survival training course.

      1. I must say I am envious of the fart-in-a-jar meme. Its earthy wit rivals Oscar Wilde’s very best work and remains undulled by repetition. Why its creator chooses to remain anonymous is a mystery. All the world should be cheering his name!

          1. The correct terminology is cunt.

  7. And if we refuse to pay their bribes? Will they send the UN shock troops to their HQ in NYC to force us to comply?

    Seriously, this is probably the right time to talk about leaving the UN altogether. The fact that much of the AGW data is either fabricated or manipulated to come up with predetermined results, there is a massive effort to stymie any scientist who dares conflict the “settled science,” and the stated goal is to take our money and give it to people who will use it to create more greenhouse gases. How can we take them seriously?

    John Bolton.
    Broken watch.
    Etc, etc…

    1. I believe NucTits said Bolton will be his SOS.

    2. “UN, know what yall should do? Yall should sanction me.. Sanction me with your army. Oh, wait a minute, yall don’t have an army? Guess that means you need to shut the fuck up.”

  8. I am so sick of this climate change crap. Anyone that doesn’t recognize this as a major fraud is a fool.

    1. It’s not climate change that’s a fraud, it’s climate DO SOMETHING! Climate changes. Always has. Always will.

  9. In exchange for an agreement to this roadmap, the European Union graciously consented to keeping the Kyoto Protocol alive by imposing for the next five years further restrictions on greenhouse gas emissions on its citizens.

    If the EU can afford to throw away wealth like that, why would the USA even consider bailing out their banks?

  10. I wonder if we actually have a say on whether we contribute, because you can bet that most of the $100B per annum will be coming from us.

    First, we had personal welfare.
    Then, we had corporate welfare.
    Now, we have international welfare.

    As the Yardbirds once famously sang, “When will it end?”

    1. Mars Needs Welfare!

      1. The ISS not enough? We gotta go interplanetary?

        1. Write this shit down. M-A-R-S. Mars, bitches. I’m talkin about the United States of Space.

  11. Climates change. It happens. The earth is still habitable and comfortable, and will continue to be that way for at least tens of millions of years. Deal with it.

  12. The UN just shown how total democracy is a failure. While the islands of the Pacific get 22 votes, the United States gets one. Shit, just look at the list of member states that have voting rights. About 1/4 of them aren’t nations in the real sense (of being autonomous), but are confederated with others yet they are ranted the ability to vote money away from developed countries because they can form a majority of votes?

    If 9/11 had happened 4.8 miles NNE of where it did, we could be having a debate on whether of not the federal government should be footing the bill for the bin Laden statue being erected in midtown. Thanks a lot, Osama.

    1. Shit, just look at the list of member states that have voting rights.

      Hey how come the local casino owning tribe gets a vote on climate change and I don’t?

    2. Wait, Mexico is in Central America now? This is going to shock Mrs. Hodges (my Geography teacher back in the day)!

      … Hobbit

      1. And apparently New Mexico is actually in North America and might be part of the US.

        So hard to keep all this stuff straight.

  13. And:

    The one on the left? Probably but I’d like to see her standing in case that lab coat is hiding a gunt or something.
    The one on the right? She needs to shower and do something with her hair before I can make an informed decision.

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  16. Swing and a miss for Alec Baldwin. And he was so close to figuring it out, too.

    1. FTA: “One of the big changes, in my time, is in the increase of the post-9/11, paramilitary bearing of much of the air travel business,” he wrote in the blog post. “September 11th was a horrific day in the airline industry, yet in the wake of that event, I believe carriers and airports have used that as an excuse to make the air travel experience as inelegant as possible.”

      Yeah, those aren’t AA employees carrying assault semiautomatic weapons and sticking their hands in my underwear when I go through the airport. Can he just not bring himself to say anything about our government is fucked up? Give him 14 months and he’ll be saying he’s off to Canada again because we voted out Obama, though.

      Team Blue hack is a Team Blue hack.

      1. Give him 14 months and he’ll be saying he’s off to Canada again because we voted out Obama, though.

        I wouldn’t be planning the going away party just yet….

        1. Neither would I. As things stand, Obama is looking likely to repeat. And this with the worst economy in 80 years, an AG he keeps supporting that should be in prison, alienation of his base unseen in the history of American politics, and escalation of wars around the world.

          1. Remember, Bush repeated.

            1. Wasn’t it Bullet-tooth Tony that said, “Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity”?

  17. So the conference of fucking idiots ends…until next time.
    Stupid is forever.

  18. Let me get this straight, “….by adopting a formula that launches a process that commits the UNFCCC to negotiating a protocol,….”. Hmmmm….sounds pretty concrete to me.

    1. It’s the meeting to plan meetings that plan more meetings.

      Got to use that $100B per annum wisely, you know.

  19. Now, IIRC, dunphy is always crowing about how the cops in WA are more concerned with justice than protecting themselves. Perhaps he could explain to us why Spokane’s police union pressed for repeal of independence of the ombudsman charged with investigating them.

      1. Zehm’s last words, witnesses testified, were,”All I wanted was a Snickers.”

        1. The killer’s friends have a facebook page showing their support for him.

          The page inexplicably leaves out that the coroner has called the death a murder, yet no charges have been filed in state court for 5 1/2 years.

          1. Aha! Found you on Facebook. Now I can properly stalk you.

            1. I’m not too tough to pick out there, am I?

              1. Aaaaaaaaand, my comments have been removed due to their factual accuracy.

              2. I didn’t know you spoke fluent Pig Latin.

                1. Banjos, if you wanted to stalk me, all you had to do was ask.

                  And I hope my musical bona fides are confirmed.

                  1. Wow… lurked around on the Friends United to Coddle Karl page on the Faceybook… they’re all but throwing rose petals in his path as he walks.


                    1. Yep… you warned me, and I went and looked anyway.

                      Now I am wondering if bleaching my eyes will blind me…

                  2. Banjos, if you wanted to stalk me, all you had to do was ask.

                    But that would have sucked all the fun out of it. And your musical tastes pass my snobbish scrutiny.

                    1. Banjos, are we gonna Kick Out The Jams today or not?

                    2. I walk where eagles dare…and by that I mean Spokane convenience stores.

                    3. He was tried and convicted on nov 2nd. There are facts in the real world… And the. There is the sloopyverse…

                      Keerist, thats two blatantt falsehoods in a row by sloopy. Maybe he should do a litrle more research than relying on wikipedia

                    4. Federal court vs state court. Which he pointed out. Thanks for playing.

                    5. Also, convicted of civil rights violations not murder.

                    6. Fuck him and his warp-drive goalpost moving machine.

                      If he thinks for a second justice was served because a federal prosecutor charged him with all he could when the man VIOLENTLY BEAT AN INNOCENT MAN TO DEATH UNDER COLOR OF LAW, then he is a bigger scumbag than I first thought.

                    7. Wouldn’t you rather Pump Up the Jam instead? 😉

        2. And from the Wiki entry: On March 18, 2006, Zehm ? who worked as a janitor and did not own a car ? had gone on foot to an ATM at his bank to withdraw money from his account. Two young women, who were in a car at the ATM when Zehm arrived, erroneously reported to police by phone that a man was attempting to steal money from the ATM. The women followed Zehm in their car while reporting additional information to the police dispatch by phone.

          Zehm next entered the convenience store that he routinely visited to buy a soft drink and fast food. Video from the convenience store security cameras show that within sixteen seconds of the first officer entering the store, the officer had run up to Zehm, whose back was initially turned to him, and batoned Zehm to the ground – the first of at least seven baton strikes used on Zehm. Within another sixteen seconds Zehm had also been tasered. In addition to the multiple beatings and taserings, Zehm was improperly hog-tied by police and placed on his stomach for more than sixteen minutes. Furthermore, the police requested a non-rebreather mask from paramedics at the scene and strapped it to Zehm’s face. The non-rebreather mask was not attached to oxygen. Zehm stopped breathing three minutes after the mask was placed on his face. When ruled a homicide by the county coroner on May 30, 2006, the cause of death was reported as “lack of oxygen to the brain due to heart failure while being restrained on his stomach.” No illegal drugs or alcohol were found in Zehm’s system

          dunphy’s explanation for the lack of charges is eagerly anticipated.

          1. Well it was pizza lunch day back at the station…we really needed to wrap this up promptly.

            You got a problem with that?

          2. Look, i realize you have no life and thus spend a sunday trolling me because tou are butthurt that i repeatedly show you make baseless statements such as your IA claim in a previous thread.

            This is another example


            now, of course you will evade and distract since you asked about the LACK OF CHARGES.?

            Heres a hint. Do a little more research before regurgitating nonsense from wikipedia

            As for why the local charges took so long,the local prosecutor claimed they were waitung FOR the FBI to complete THEIR investigation before making a final decision. Because then they would have more evidence to rely on either way

            Jesus christ, you make yourself look like a moron AGAIN


            Heres an actual link that offers a bit more credibility than fucking wikipedia


            Hth. Game,set, match

            nted, i realize you are butthurt and have no life, which is why you spend a sunday engaged in trolling

            1. Hahaha. I linked to an LATimes story, you fucking idiot. And the state had several years to charge the cop in the case. And in light of the overwhelming eyewitness and video testimony, coupled with the coroner’s determination of homicide, it could have happened a long while back.

              You spin out a government press release and treat it as some kind of impartial news outlet.

              This is possibly one of the most egregious cases of prosecutorial misconduct, yet you equivocate and say they were waiting on the FBI. The FBI only came in because the DA didn’t do his job, dipshit.

              And for the record, I admitted I was incorrect the other day. I am man enough to do that.

              I also noticed that you conspicuously avoided the many instances of double-standards, abuse and general scumminess of your boys in blue that have been brought up by me lately. Odd that you are pretty quick to point the finger at us and claim “selection bias,” when you aviod anything that doesn’t play to your cop-god narrative.

      2. Thompson, 64, testified that he had considered the soda bottle in Zehm’s hand a potential weapon….

        Two blows from the baton, taser shots to a suspect in the fetal position, suffocation bag!

        Check, Check and Check!

        You see all you cop haters they really are the best and bravest the American society has to offer!!!!!!


        1. Thompson was tried and convicted and faces 6 to 8 years.

          Yet again, the bigots have no facts, just rhetoric

          1. 6 to 8 years for violently bludgeoning someone to death under color of the law.

            Yeah, that seems fair.

            1. Jared Lee Loughner deserves no more than that, then.

          2. He should be getting life or the death penalty for 1st degree murder.

            1. Again, a normative argument. Wonderful

              The point is that as usual sloopy goes off wanking and trolling wo the facts

              1. No, you imbecile, the point is that he was not charged with a state crime for over five years. And not the DA says he was waiting on the FBI to finish, when the FBI gave him over 3 years to do something, anything in the pursuit of justice.

                But you keep talking. The more you do, the more we learn about you.

                I linked to an LAT story. They gave the facts about the case, as they were presented in the federal trial. Also, you can see the video that shows how he was literally beaten to death for no reason whatsoever.

                I honestly cannot believe you want to take your stand on this hill. This is as black-and-white as the Kelly Thomas case, yet you’re gonna fight it out? Wow.

            2. Again, a normative argument. Wonderful

              The point is that as usual sloopy goes off wanking and trolling wo the facts

              1. No you are failing at reading comprehension. This entire conversation started with sloopy pointing out that the state has not done there job and charged him with murder and continues to defend him despite being convicted in federal court for civil rights violations.

              2. Here’s the original post:

                Poet Laureate sloopyinca|12.11.11 @ 11:23AM|#|show direct|ignore
                Of course, the state is still in lockstep support of Karl Thompson, even after a federal court convicted him in the brutal killing of a janitor with a coke bottle.

                1. It looks like prosecutorial misconduct. Perhaps the prosecutor will now indict Karl for manslaughter. He should. I can’t imagine the statute of limitations has run out. 6-8 yrs is not enough for this brutal murder by an agent of the people.

          3. 6-8 years for a crime I would have been sent to jail for until I stopped breathing.


            I’m betting that if I were to wrongly assume that a guy was guilty of a crime, beat the living fuck out of him with a metal baton, tazed him, hog tied him, and put on a device which caused him to stop breathing I’d be in jail for the rest of my natural life.

          4. Ya know Dunph you seem okay but some of your brothers in Blue, Beige…whatever seem…well more than a little chickenshit at times.

            I admit I’m late to the party on this. If he has indeed been convicted of the offense in question my apologies for missing that but what the hell is going on where somebody like that can find his way onto not one but two police departments? Who the fuck is in charge of quality control here?

            1. He didn’t argue in good faith. Read the entire thread.

              This will be my last comment on the matter.

    1. Spokane is eastern Washington, so it probably doesn’t count. Remember, that’s where cops get to kill Baptist Ministers on their own property for…did anyone ever figure out why the deputy killed him?

      1. Bitch back talked one of his betters….he got what he deserved.

        Anything else?

        1. He was tried and convicted… But dont let facts get in the way

          Convicted nov 2nd…

          Google it

          1. I’m assuming the squirrels got to ya…June 22, 2011:

            “Deputy Brian Hirzel, the man who killed Spokane Valley businessman Scott Creach last summer will not be disciplined for his use of deadly force.

            That was the final determination made by Spokane County Sheriff Ozzie Knezovich, who said Tuesday that multiple investigations into how and why Creach was shot have been completed and he now considers the case closed.”

        2. He was tried and convicted… But dont let facts get in the way

          Convicted nov 2nd…

          Google it

    2. Really, where did i say that?

      Iirc, isaid that i thought that way, and that cops should understand that balance

      1. You’re always going on about “the libertarian canard that cops are more concerned with their safeth than the public in general,” and that cops are willing to risk their safety for others.

        If that is the case, explain to us how the union fought (and got repealed) the right of an ombudsman to independently investigate claims of police abuse in Spokane…a policy that came about because of the closed investigation of the brutal homicide of an unarmed, innocent man at the hands of a police officer with the assistance and/or silent assent of the other six officers present.

        1. He was tried and convcted. As usual, you are wrong on the facts.

          Yet again, there is reality and there is the sloopyverse

          And you just got fucked by reality

          Verdict on NOV 2nd … GUILTY


          1. wow, sloopy… Unions tend to (not always..l as i have shown e.g. Schene who was NOT supported by his union in a bid to get his job back) support their members


            Regardless, he was convicted you idiot despite yout implications otherwise.

            You spend all is energy wanking and trolling and dont even realize he was already convicted…

            Jesus christ the fail is huge with you.

            Youmare butthurt … I get it

            1. I will anxiously await your apology as you read the entire thread and comprehend what my point was.

              1. Gonna be waitin’ a long time, it looks like, brah.

                1. I guess you’re right.

                  Fonzie says “I’m sorry” better than cops.

  20. agreement between the negotiators from nearly 200 countries was achieved by adopting a formula that launches a process that commits the UNFCCC to negotiating a protocol, another legal instrument or an “agreed outcome with legal force.”


    It’s as good as done.

    1. I want to see Eritrea and Vanuatu enforce their legal rights to my money. I would imagine “An Army of One” is a factual representation when it comes to their forces.

      1. Just for emphasis. Our active military force is over 6 times bigger than Vanautu’s entire population.

  21. Hmmmm….How much of this $100 billion has been earmarked to be flowed to me?

    There’s a small island I’ve been considering acquiring and…

  22. [T]he European Union graciously consented to keeping the Kyoto Protocol alive by imposing for the next five years further restrictions on greenhouse gas emissions on its citizens.

    Oh, it’s a good day to be a Europeaaaaan! La di la!

    The climate negotiators [Negotiators???] also agreed to launch the Green Climate Fund which will redistribute aid from rich country taxpayers to poor country governments with the goal of helping poor countries cope with climate change.

    Those palaces and black velvet paintings for el presidente deteriorate faster due to climate change – something must be done!

    At the Copenhagen and Cancun climate conferences, rich countries promised to suppy $100 billion in climate aid annually by 2020. However, how much of the $100 billion would flow through the Green Climate Fund is still not decided and how the Fund will be financed is also not decided.

    Isn’t graft grand?

  23. agreement between the negotiators from nearly 200 countries was achieved by adopting a formula that launches a process that commits the UNFCCC to negotiating a protocol

    That was LOL-worthy:

    “Oooh, baby, let me fuck you right now and I promise I’ll start to adopt a formula that launches a process that commits us to negotiating a protocol to begin talking about maybe eventually getting engaged.”

    1. But they’re serious about it!

    2. At least when it comes to prostitution, the one getting fucked is the one that gets paid. For some reason, the UN is fucking us and paying the guy in the next room.

  24. “Put Progressive Champion Alan Greyson back in Congress: ”

    Couldn’t his campaign find a picture of him looking less like a creep?

  25. You know, Sloopy, that’s one of the most clear-cut cases I’ve seen. It’s murder. And considering the long, drawn out sequence of actions that led to the janitor’s death, I would have hoped first-degree (capital) murder charges could be filed. Five years later, and there have been no charges. In a more just world, we’d now be prosecuting the DA for negligence.

    Capital murder, apparently, isn’t of concern!

    1. Honestly, I almost wept when I saw the video. The man was hopelessly beaten to death for no reason whatsoever. And then to read in testimony what his last words were.

      Maybe if he actually had just reached for a Snickers, the cop would have just shot him instead and said he thought the guy had a gun. His death would have been much less brutal had that been the case.

      1. Isn’t the cop getting 6-8, tops? For capital murder? No double standards at all!

        1. He wasnt convicted of capital murder. AGAIN, wrong on the facts

          1. Hey, you finally figured it out! So are you going to back and correct yourself? He hasn’t been tried for murder. Which he should be.

            1. Thats your opinion. Fwiw, he could still be tried for murder if the facts support it. However, again if you addressed facts, you would know the prosecutor said he was wiating for the fbi to finish THE FEDERAL case before making such a chraging

              Either way, he was charged and convicted. Hth

              1. However, again if you addressed facts, you would know the prosecutor said he was wiating for the fbi to finish THE FEDERAL case before making such a chraging

                Which was part of my original point, idiot. The local DA had 3 years to do something before the feds got involved. Part of the reason they did was because of the inactivity of the local DA in the first place.

                Besides, since when is that ever an excuse? Did the local DA not prosecute Mike Vick because the feds weren’t done? John Malvo was charged in state and federal at the same time. So was McVeigh, Loughner, the list goes on.

                Saying you are waiting on the feds to finish before doing your job as a prosecutor is a bullshit claim and should be dismissed out of hand by any person who cares about justice.

                The fact that you use it to defend the DA here is not unsurprising, as you are a sap.

  26. I’m sure Police One commentors said the same thing about Plaxico Burress when his (unholstered) gun accidentally discharged in a public place. I know the NYPD chief reacted differently than this guy did.

    But as we’re constantly reminded by dunphy, cops are treated the same, if not harsher, than regular people.

    1. That site is worse than feministing and jezebel combined.

      1. FTA: In a written statement, Milwaukee Police Chief Edward A. Flynn said: “I am disappointed the District Attorney has decided to use the overburdened criminal justice system to address a situation that is best and most appropriately handled as a training and disciplinary matter.”

        That quote is the polar opposite of the NYPD Chief’s comments on Plaxico. Of course, so is the misdemeanor charge.

        1. “NOTE: Only law enforcement professionals may comment on articles.”

          They obviously don’t want anybody to expose how unconscionably full of shit they are.

          “That damn underpowered .40 round never leaves more than a welt.”

          Has Mr Macho ever even HELD a .40 before?

          1. Also note how the police chief said an incident where an off-duty cop discharges his weapon in public should be handled differently than if he weren’t a cop (unless he expects private employers to also train and discipline employees that do the same).

            But of course, dunphy tells us cops are treated the same, even though this chief of police said they should not be.

            1. That chief was a dick. Fuck him.

          2. “Underpowered” .40 caliber handgun? WTF?

            1. Maybe they’re pissed because cops rarely if ever face charges when they “accidentally” shoot and kill people.

              And another thing, if they were concerned with charging people with “accidental” crimes, where there would be no mens rea, they should have bitched when the law was passed, not once it finally bit one of their own in the ass.

    2. False. I said SOMETIMES they are treated better and SOMETIMES worse. For example i linked to a story where a cop was given twenty three years for ASSAULT IN WA specifically because the judge said he held cops,to a HIGHER STANDARD. this was an off duty incident btw

      Iow, it is it as simple as a bigot would claim

      Oh, and btw, THOMPSON WAS CONVICTED . Youe above wanking is thus ridiculous. Get facts right

      1. No matter what the circumstances, if I beat you, taze you, and suffocate you resulting in your death, do you think I would be charged with violating your civil rights? or murder?

  27. If anything binding DOES come of these retarded conferences at some point, I wonder how the rest of the UN’s membership is going to MAKE us pay up. Are they going to send ‘peacekeepers’? Should we just nuke the fuck out of everybody preemptively and call it a day?

    1. Re: Res Publica Americana,

      Should we just nuke the fuck out of everybody preemptively and call it a day?

      “If your country does comply with the agreed mandates, Mr. Premier, we will not invite you to our next round of conferences we normally hold in paradises where the food and willing girls are plentiful. What say you?”

      Normally that should do it.

      1. I’d honestly like to see what they’d propose doing if the US got a half-decent government around the time this shit happened and told the United Nations to eat shit and fuck off. It’s just hilarious. Is Spain, aided by Ghana and Brazil, going to DECLARE WAR WAWAWAWAWWWWAW?

  28. Johnny joined the army
    The cause he didn’t know
    He served three years
    In the Middle East
    You know it doesn’t show

    push push push push push push push push

    Johnny was a soldier
    He can’t dance anymore

    When he came out
    He tried to form a band
    But he’s only got one leg
    And he can hardly stand

    push push push push push push push push

    Now he drinks alone
    He gets sentimental
    He watches girls dance
    And he’s thrown away his medals

    1. Man, This (thread) ain’t no picnic, especially if you’re anywhere near a cop with a baton.

      1. Thompson was tried AND convicted you fucking moron

        All your trolling and wanking aside earlier inthis thread where you were complaining

        For fucks sake, you continually embarass yourself

        1. Convicted of what?

          1. Jesus christ, look it up

            For fucks sake, sloopy spends his sunday wanking and trolling and cant even get the facts straight…


            1. You DO understand the nuances of federalism, right?

              That’s firstly. Secondly, convicted of deprivation of rights and perjury, and he’s getting 6 to 8 for capital murder. That was my point.

              I’m a hardcore Jeffersonian republican, and I subscribe to militancy in justice. I’m not a big fan of the death penalty, and even less so in the way it’s currently used around the world, and even in the US. But if there was ever a category of incidents which justify its use, Thompson’s is a wonderful example.

              This putrid piece of badger shit beat a man to death for absolutely no reason. The electric chair was INVENTED for sons of fucks like him.

              It’s capital murder, and you’re seriously bringing up the satisfaction of a technical requirement to prosecute/convict as a success?

              Justice will not have been served until the day Thompson is led into a field, strapped to a pole, and executed by firing squad for cold-blooded murder. Get a fucking clue.

              1. ^^^THIS!!! Sorry, dunphy, but as much as I sometimes agree with you, there is no way you can spin this as anything other than insanity inducing injustice.

  29. HAHAHA
    Pigeon shits on Cop…..vv2YA0jNQI

    I’m surprised the bird didn’t get shot.

    1. Bird’s probably a constitutionalist.

  30. For no reason, other than I am in the mood.

    1. Oh shit, She’s lost control again………….

  31. “Despite the criminal conviction, U.S. District Court Judge Fred Van Sickle allowed Thompson, 64, to remain free despite a request by federal prosecutors to immediately detain him, which is mandatory for violent crimes.”


    1. Waaaaaaaaahhhhhh….

      Btw, how do i or you even know what the facts are?

      WHICH IS mandatory, the detention or the requiest. Assuming arguendo, the article,is correct, and of course you or i have no knowledge if other alleged exceptions have been made to nonleos … Which is mandatory, the REQUEST OR THE DETENTION?

      Do you know? I you know if other alleged exceptions have been made to non leos? Without that knowledge, any souble standard claim is speculative

      1. Immediate detention of all violent felons is required upon conviction by federal law. Glad we’ve cleared that up.

        1. nb4: deprivation of rights and perjury are not violent crimes.*

          *even when they result in the violent death of an innocent man just trying to buy a Snickers and a Coke.

  32. A typical sunday. Trolls a trolling

    Btw, do a fact check before believing in the sloopyverse…

    Thompson was convicted……..-decision/

    1. Yes, but he was never convicted of murder.

      1. That is correct. I never claimed he was. If you think the facts support that, groovy.

        The local prosecutor said he was waiting for the federal case to conclude before making a final decision on that

        He could go either way.

        Mebbe read some federal court transcripts to get a better idea of case facts before you draw a conclusion that murder is a warranted charge under WA law

        1. “That is correct. I never claimed he was. If you think the facts support that, groovy.”

          You didn’t claim he was, but you implied the conviction he did receive satisfactorily covered his crime, which it doesn’t.

          “The local prosecutor said he was waiting for the federal case to conclude before making a final decision on that”

          Except he didn’t.

          “Mebbe read some federal court transcripts to get a better idea of case facts before you draw a conclusion that murder is a warranted charge under WA law”.

          1) Done, and yes, it’s warranted under statute.

          2) I’ll go ahead and guess Sloopy, just like me, couldn’t give less a fuck about whether established law allows/requires capital murder charges for this guy, even though they do. My point is that it SHOULD be, which it is anyway.

      2. That you have invoked Papa Roach has discredited your musical taste for all time.

        1. Please, please forgive me. The song title just fit in waaay too well.

          1. Until further notice, I’ve got my eye on you.

            Commandment 1 – Thou shalt NOT evoke Papa Roach under ANY circumstances.

    2. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you just didn’t read the original post but you look like a fool for repeatedly asserting incorrectly that sloopy never mentioned the federal conviction when in fact that was exactly what he pointed out in the original post.

      1. I was responding to the 1233 post. If i missed that, my bad.

        I was wrong if missed it

        Regardless, since i havent read rhe case transcripts i have no idea if a murder charge was warranted under state statues

        Again, the prosecutor said he would wait for the federal trial beforemhe made a conclusion about that

        I am. Sure he is reviewing ase transcripts as could you

        But again, if sloopy,mentioned the federal trial, then i WAS WRONG

        i have no problem admitting that


        1. Regardless, since i havent read rhe case transcripts i have no idea if a murder charge was warranted under state statues

          Then read them and watch the video. I’ll be waiting patiently for you to come back here and call for a murder prosecution. Should take all of 15 minutes for any sane person to be convinced. I’ll give you 30.

        2. It’s cool. First post was at 1123 and was a link to an article very similar to all the ones you have posted.

          1. But we all know his reflexive action is to bitch and whine that I’m just a cop hater, instead of to go read all the posts and the stories linked before be climbs the blue wall to scream down at us.

            1. He said he was wrong. What more do you want? It is abundantly obvious that he jumped late into the argument. That stands on it’s own.

              1. What more do I want? I want him to argue in good faith and not move the goalposts every time he’s called out on his bullshit double-standards and defense if the shield at all costs.

                The fact that he’s pro pot and legalized gambling doesn’t make him a libertarian or a friend of libertarians. When will people get that? The fucker is a cop apologist, plain and simple. He turns the other way, enforces the law unequally and treats his brothers in arms differently than he treats the rest of us. Fuck him.

  33. sloopy vs. dunphy > John vs. MNG

    1. If it’s gotten that bad, I apologize.

      1. I mean it’s more entertaining.

  34. Fascinating indeed, now why didnt I think of that. Wow.

  35. What is about to appear is a REAL email exchange between a hard left friend and I. It started off innocently enough with him reporting the new “We can jail you forever with a military trial” bill.


      SO, now no one nees to have a reason to arrest you, and they can keep you in jail without accusation presented, nor arraignment, nor the right to defend yourself. Cute.

      Essentially, it means the end of habeas corpus (it’s left enough room open to interpretation, to drive a tank convoy through), and most of the Bill of Rights. Might as well burn the Constitution, why not?

      Thanks, Republicans (see ) !


      1. Why the Republican hate (besides for the usual reasons)?

        In the event you missed it, the bill was passed by a Democrat majority Senate, and was written and sponsored by both a Republican and a Democrat.

        Or would it ruin your “government is good” belief structure to admit that fucking the American people and trampling what small bits of hemp remain from the Constitution is a wholly bi-partisan effort? Neither team is looking out for you (or me or anyone else other than themselves), lest you forget that the PATRIOT act was voted in by 98 Senators, and it was a Republican that tried to single handedly stop its reauthorization this year while Senator Reid, a Democrat in the event you didn’t know, fought tooth and nail to get it re-signed. Said he during the week of reauthorization:

        “I understand Senator Paul’s exasperation because this is something that is extremely important to him and there was every desire from my perspective and I think this body to have a full, complete debate on the Patriot Act. But the Senate doesn’t always work that way. ? We cannot let this Patriot Act expire. I have a personal responsibility to try to get this bill done as soon as possible…The time has come for me to take some action.”

        And I don’t think I need to mention The Head Democrat in Charge’s wholehearted support for the Patriot Act once he was in charge. How quickly he went from steadfast opposition to supporting it as a necessary tool to fight terror.

        And read a real article on this new bill and find out exactly how horrible it really is. That ACLU is slim in details, and includes a couple of falsehoods while they were at it.

        Don’t let your (justifiable) hatred of Team RED cloud your vision, for though they are not your friends, neither is anyone else in DC.

        1. Did you see who proposed this? Did you see who was defendly it vehemently, AGAINST FBI, DoD and others better advice?

          Check that again, then we talk.

          About “our government is good”, when the option is those tea partiers you so admire (but fail to acknowledge as nothing short of a bunch of savages)…. it’s a no brainer. At least the government has a structure.

          1. Yes I did see who drafted and sponsored the bill.

            That would be BOTH Senator John McCain (R) and Senator Carl Levin (D).

            Who defended it? Some fucktard from SC. And a couple of Democrats as well, or did they write that in invisible ink?

            Who voted for it? I’ll let Glenn Greenwald, a liberal’s liberal (and civil libertarian extraordinaire) tell you.

            “consider how typically bipartisan this all is. The Senate just voted 37-61 against an amendment, sponsored by Democratic Sen. Mark Udall, that would have stripped the Levin/McCain section from the bill: in other words, Levin/McCain garnered one more vote than the 60 needed to stave off a filibuster. Every GOP Senator (except Rand Paul and Mark Kirk) voted against the Udall amendment, while just enough Democrats ? 16 in total ? joined the GOP to ensure passage of Levin/McCain. That includes such progressive stalwarts as Debbie Stabenow, Sheldon Whitehouse, Jeanne Shaheen and its lead sponsor, Carl Levin.”


            “Just to underscore what is ? and is not ? motivating the Obama administration’s objections to this bill, Sen. Levin has disclosed, as Dave Kopel documents, that “it was the Obama administration which told Congress to remove the language in the original bill which exempted American citizens and lawful residents from the detention power,” on the ground it would unduly restrict the decision-making of Executive Branch officials. In other words, Obama officials wanted the flexibility to militarily detain even U.S. citizens if they were so inclined, and are angry that this bill purports to limit their actions.”

            Obama, the biggest Democrat in the land, insisted that language barring US citizens from this bill be removed because it would restrict his power. And your summation is that somehow this bill is the fault of Republicans?

            Reality check time: this bill is a result of collusion between two factions of an authoritarian minded government, and nothing less. It isn’t a result of Republicans or Democrats, but Republicans AND Democrats.

            The GOP’s hands aren’t clean by any measure, that’s not my argument (for fuck’s sake), but to pretend that Team Blue’s hands are is willful ignorance of the highest order. To pretend that raping our civil liberties is a one sided affair is a sure sign that one can safely be ignored in the conversation.

            Yeah. Those Pauls are SAVAGES!!

            Check their voting records (I dare you). I guarantee that you won’t two congressmen who have a better record on civil liberties. They actually believe in the Constitution, and vote that way EVERY TIME.

            You may not agree with many of their policy positions regarding many things, but to even pretend they aren’t on the right side of civil liberties issues is akin to admitting you have your head in the sand.

            1. Yes,

              Ever wonder how you would feel if some bachelor engineer came to lecture you about Beowulf? Yeah, that’s the feeling I get when you try to lecture me on government and security.

              Hint, read about the history of the bill, and verify the allegations you collect from BLOGGERS.

              I’m done debating your recent, neighbor-driven militia inclinations. Rly.

              1. So your rebuttal to evidence supplied (click through the links to PRIMARY sources if you must) is an appeal to you being some sort of expert. With no evidence other than you being some kind of expert? Bullshit, and you know it. A supposed expert would have supplied evidence to combat arguments, not a simple appeal to his supposed authority.

                So, then, what is the hidden history of the bill, Mr. Expert? You know, the part which requires that one be a supposed expert on government and security to know that this bill is all due to Republicans? Why is it, Mr. Expert, all the Republicans’ fault (mind you, I’m not absolving them of blame either) rather than a bipartisan affair? How, Mr. Expert, is this abortion of a bill not a product of bipartisanship when a Democrat, alongside a Republican, wrote the most egregious portions in a back room deal without debate, openly supported it in Congress (for just over an hour), and openly relayed to the world during said session of the Senate that the Obama administration told him to remove the language that exempted US citizens from the detention clause ( see the video at 4:43:29)? Oh and that was followed by just enough Team Blue votes in favor to avoid a filibuster. Or does one need to be a supposed expert to watch a man in a video do all of those things, and draw basic conclusions about what said Democratic Senator said? Surely it doesn’t take an unfinished masters degree and a shortened career as an enlisted man in the military to understand plain English (since you clearly want to engage in credentialism, it might help that you be clear about the credentials by which you claim your supposed authority).

                So, Mr. Expert, what about saying that this bill is a wholly bipartisan affair has anything to do with my supposed “militia inclinations”? Or, Mr. Expert, is my militia status due to stating that the Paul’s have a wholly verifiable record of being excellent on civil liberties issues (an opinion surely not reached by a supposed expert who has looked at the public record)? An expert would actually refute those very simple claims formed based on PRIMARY evidence (public voting records and video from the Senate floor) that one needn’t be an expert to understand rather than an appeal to his supposed authority and call it a day, with a nice side of ad hominem to boot.

                So then, Mr. Expert, which claims have I made here are somehow false? And being the supposed expert you are, I’d expect that providing evidence other than an appeal to your supposed authority along with a heaping portion of ad hominem shouldn’t be too hard. I mean, you are an expert, right? Or are you going to just appeal to your supposed authority, call me a militiaman intent on revolution just as soon as my neighbors give me my marching orders, and take your ball and go home? Because I’d expect, being a novice and all, that an Authority ought to be able to engage in debate without a blatant bullshit appeal to his authority.

                1. It is too full of self, didn’teven read. Told you before. Thirty paragraphs of tea partyisms are equal to zero.

                  1. Ah I get it. You know what’s in it by not reading it. Excellent.

                    More ad hominems. Par for the course.

                    The debate is pointless for two reasons: 1) you haven’t anything at all of substance to add to it; 2) Anything you do add is no more than ad hominems.

                    Great job displaying your supposed authority.

                    It’s equally as important to know with not NOT to dialogue.

                    1. No, you do not get it. THAT is the problem., Wake up, remove tinfoil beanie.

                    2. You can’t even say what I’ve written because you read what you want to read, or you don’t read at all, all while hiding behind some faux authority on “government and security” and, when it comes to politics, are as intellectually dishonest as they come. You don’t even try and argue. You throw names and yell “TEA PARTY” (even when I haven’t even MENTIONED the Tea Party) with no support for your screaming at all. And I’m the one who doesn’t get it. Uh huh.

                      One would think that an expert such as you claim to be would be able to easily argue from an intellectually sound position with some kind of evidence to support your claims, but you’ve convinced me that you’re intellectually incapable.

                      Methinks it’s you who needs to take off the blinders.

                      As I said, it’s as important to know with whom not to have dialect. And you’re one of those people. You don’t argue. You proclaim from on high in EXACTLY the same way as those who you say you hate. In this conversation, you’re an intellectual midget.

                      All you can muster is ad hominems while you hide behind some kind of expertise that you don’t have.

                      Later. Don’t bother including me in on your emails any more. You don’t have any interest in honest dialogue, but in calling anyone who might point out your intellectual gaps, of which there are many, a Tea Party idiot. And that makes you the idiot.

                    3. 1-

                      2- “par for the course”???? Srsly, man the f up and quit that silly game. It’s just as ridiculous as “you go, girl”. Unmanly.

                      3- move from militia land. You’re saying shit 180degrees from your beliefs when not on the moonshine. Rly.

                    4. Tell him you know about 100 like-minded people on a libertarian-dominated website, and many of those peoples’ prepubescent relatives know how to assemble and disassemble assault rifles, RP ammunition, fire .50-caliber sniper rifles, and go to the gun range regularly.

                      Then tell him we think he needs a good ass-whooping, and that you’ve given us his address, and that we’re all armed to the teeth.

                      Watch as the ATF pays you a visit. But it’ll be worth the pants-shitting that pinko will be doing prior to your incarceration.

                    5. Wow. I have some hard left and hard right friends, but I try to keep my conversations with them about sports or sex (depending on the friend obviously).

                      You deserve a beer for not driving to that friend’s house and punching him in the nose. If you in fact did drive over there and punch him in the nose, you deserve a six pack.

                    6. Unfortunately, that is an area over which he does have expertise.

                      He’s a multiple black belts in multiple martial arts disciplines. He’d kick my ass pretty quickly and decisively.

                      And I don’t drink. But if want to bring a joint by the mad libertarian guy residence, that’d be good.

                    7. I don’t smoke that shit. Gives me the spinnnz.

                    8. Yeah, but you can just take your derringer, and he’ll shit himself. Who needs martial arts?

                    9. He would welcome it so that he might die a martyr.

                      His one comment with the new announcement of Rainbow 6: Patriot was that he was glad that he could finally “shoot militia in the face” which is something he never got to do while in the military.

                    10. I’ll go ahead and wager he shoots worse than my grandmother. He’s always welcome to drop by our local range at any time and try pulling that shit. Let’s hope there aren’t too many people like him in the military, eh?

                    11. Methinks it’s likely the reason he isn’t in the military anymore.

                      And I’d bet that he can’t shoot very well either. Every conversation we have on the matter leads me to believe unless it’s point blank, he’s got nothin’ (like claiming that being a sniper wasn’t that big of a deal because you just put the reticle on target and pull the trigger, right?).

                    12. He said that, No shit?


                    13. Well, for what’s it’s worth, everybody I know that’s in the military is, at worst, center-right. No progressives. I’m happy with that.

                    14. Progressive doesn’t even begin to describe his political leanings.

                      He’s definitely a Team BLUE voter, but he’s more of a straight up authoritarian than anything else. If Stalin was running, he’d sure get this guy’s vote.

                    15. Serious question: I would like to see the voting breakdown in the military by race. Any data out there exploring how the white or black or latino or asian military votes compared to the white or black or latino or asian civilian population?

                    16. Wow… a lefty who would use violence to prove a political point. That’s like fucking a total stranger in the name of celibacy.

                    17. Or giving up your virginity to fuck the gay out of your boyfriend. Saved is an underrated movie.

                    18. This is why I don’t bother with brainless partisans shitstains, particularly the leftist variety.

                      You’ll never get that time back, time that could have been better spent drinking and shooting things.

                    19. You call this person your “friend”?

                      eh… no.

    2. This is the thought process of Team BLUE Players:

      When someone doesn’t agree, scream “TEA PARTY!”, “MILITIA!”, tell them they haven’t the expertise needed to make any kind of intellectual judgments about politics (mind you his “credentials” include an undergraduate degree from Brazil in an unknown avenue of study, an incomplete Masters in International Relations, and a shortened career – 3 years – as an enlisted man in the military), tell them they just don’t get it, insist that they know your line of thought better than you doand blame it all on their dirty, redneck, uneducated neighbors’ undue influence, and lastly call them drunk with disillusion while wearing a tinfoil hat.

      1. My solution is to just start cleaning my handguns in front of them. Watching you strip, clean and reassemble a Ruger MKIII (a pretty tame weapon)in about 5 minutes without breaking eye contact usually gets them to change the subject to something a little less defense-related.

        1. Fuck, man, I think I’ve already told this story, but I’ve had occasion to that twice with a group of Europeans assembled in a conference call. I was getting THIS fucking close to blowing up (they were emulating militant lefties as hard as they possibly could), so instead, I just pulled out my 1911, the ammo out of the drawer, the magazine from it, and started sticking rounds into the magazine. I would have preferred something even bigger, like my AR, but it was sufficient. It was fucking gold. The pants-shitting and lectures and aneurysms made for grade-A entertainment.

          If you ever get a chance to fuck with a European, do it. If you have to, borrow the biggest gun you possibly can from one of your friends, like a Barrett, and do shit with it on camera.

          “This? Oh, this is just my 1911. *Pick up Barrett*. THIS is what I use to take down commercial aircraft at the weekend!”

        2. Ruger MKIII (a pretty tame weapon)

          And a tough one to disassemble/reassemble unless you do it exactly right!

          Lotsa fun to shoot, though.

          … Hobbit

    1. That was great.

    2. I don’t know what to think. Part of me loves it while part of me wants to cross the border and beat you senseless.

      Here’s a less-controversial cover.

  36. Nice, Pants! Bookmarked.

    1. They did a whole album of 80s covers like that.

  37. And the cricket chirps while dunphy derps.

  38. Joe Webb got face-masked on that last play. No Call.

    1. Redskins (racist, btw) had offensive pass interference called on the game-tying score. Weak call.

      And I somehow missed seeing the Ben-gals lose and continue choking away their playoff hopes. WTF happened there?

      1. Arizona can’t win wearing Pajamas.

        1. Anybody got the football Jesus game on?

          1. The lighting on that game is strange. It looks as if it’s being played under a full moon.

            1. More likely a divine aura.

              Right, Tulpa?
              RIGHT, TULPA?!?!?

            2. It seems to have corrected itself.

          2. That’s not football Jesus. That’s football Francis of Asisi.

        2. Arizona can’t win wearing Pajamas.

          Hey, [insert Cardinals QB name here], get down once you get the first down!!!

      2. Redskins (racist, btw)

        But the only people who complain about it don’t have red skin.

        1. Who could complain about this?*

          *Hat tip Tim Cavanaugh

    2. “Webb got face masked”. Does it any really freakin’ matter any more?

    3. My son and I were high fiving that ending. We were worried that the Vikes were going to screw up and win it.

      We need that high draft pick.

  39. Perhaps we should consider a trust fund to keep the Sun from dying.

  40. It’s tough though, can you get enough out of this trough?

    1. That rough thought has left me fraught.

    2. Do you realize that half of the teams out of the playoffs would be beating anybody in the playoffs? And ButtsWagner and I would be beating the piss out of any of you.

      Looks like I peaked late.

      1. Still crossing my fingers for Goldwater, though.

  41. united nations are gonna take all our rights and we’ll just hav nothing.we gonna be slaves.paying tax to feed the rich and wealthy families who run the world.

  42. Let me see if I have this right.

    The San Diego Chargers are about 45 minutes away from being one game back in the AFC West. Can that be correct? Really?

    1. God’s chosen one is 6-19.

      1. …and has 29 more passing yards than his opponent. God, I bet that game has been awful to watch.

        1. Dunno, RedZone seems to focus on it.

        2. Yeah I switched to finishing watching the Tottenham-Stoke game which was awesome. Came back and the score was still 0-0. Snooze.

        3. Goddamn, here he comes again.

          1. Teeeeee Booooooooooow
            Teeeeee Booooooooooow
            Teeeeee Booooooooooow

            1. This is why I always turn the Broncos game on for the fourth quarter. Crazy stuff.

              1. Here they come!!!

                1. Gonna be a long fucking FG.

                  1. Holy Jesus Titty Fucking Christ.

                    1. hahahahahahahaha. I can’t stop laughing. And fucking Fox still running with the Packers-Raiders ass-kicking out here.

                    2. Whenever I want a few laughs, I check out the comments on the Bronco-related articles after the games. The only other place to see so much butthurt on display is the 99% tumblr site.

  43. Who can beat the Packers?

    1. The Steelers in Super Bowl XXXXVI.*

      *I refuse to believe the Romans would put X before L then go back to VI. I just remember being taught differently in Latin class 25 years ago.

      1. Is Superbowl 50 going to be Superbowl L?

        1. As dumb as the NFL is, it’ll probably be Super Bown LC.

          1. According to Wikipedia, LC can stand for Lactation consultant.

      2. The same Steelers who probably won’t even win their own division?

        Go Texans! Yeah we got some bad injuries but making our first ever playoffs means wining anything extra is a bonus.

        1. Yes, those Steelers. And that division isn’t done yet. If the 49ers lose today, they may rest some guys next week, while the Ravens have the Chargers.

          1. I honestly think it’ll be a total crapshoot who gets out of the AFC playoffs. All the top teams have their issues.

          2. Why would they rest starters when they’re now tied with the Saints for the 2 seed?

            1. I think the Saints have the tiebreaker and a much easier road. I forgot that Harbaugh isn’t the type of guy to let off the gas.

      3. As for the offensive pass interference call in the Pats / Skins game, CBS did not show a replay.

        How do you not show that replay? As it stands, I am skeptical as the officals made at least two other bad calls which hurt the Skins.

        Do not underestimate the influence of Robert Kraft. See tuck rule. See 2003 AFC championship game. See the time of next week’s Pats / Broncos game.

        1. Earlier, Washington was called on a Personal Foul – forearm to the head when the replay clearly showed Brady’s head was not even contacted.

          1. And that may have some significance IRT postseason byes and seeding. The NFL really looks after their golden boys.

            And by that, I mean Tom fucking Brady.

            1. Waaaaaaaah.

  44. Tebovertime!

  45. BTW, I live 3 hours from Oakland, but for some reason my Fox affiliate will not change to the Bears v Broncos game…which is now fucking tied!!!!!!!!!!

    1. no RedZone channel? I pity you.

    2. If you’re in the home market of a team playing they can’t switch you out, no matter how much the game sucks.

  46. One, probability is a factor which operates within natural forces. Two, probability is not operating as a factor. Three, we are now within un-, sub- or supernatural forces. Discuss. Not too heatedly.

    1. Are you talking about Climate, Tebow or the Packers? Explain. Hastily!

    2. That fumble was supernatural.

      1. Between that and running out of bounds, Marion Barber is possessed by the fucking Devil today.

        1. I watched the replay, and while it was stupid of Barber to run towards the sideline, he had a lot of help getting out of bounds by the pursuing linebacker.

          That fumble was all on him, though–and it’s not like this is anything unusual with him. I remember he had those issues in Dallas, too.

    3. I used to flip coins, then I took an arrow to the knee.

  47. The goddamn Packers game is taking an eternity because they have a TV timeout every time the Packers score, which is about every 5 minutes. It doesn’t look like I’m gonna get to see Tebow and his latest miracle.


  49. Fucking fumble. A weaker man might be moved to re-examine his faith, if in nothing else at least in the law of probability.

    1. Fucking Fox!!! Change games, goddammit.

      1. You might miss a key Safety.

        1. This is regoddamndiculous.

          Gametracker says they’re in FG range. Please say it’s true!

          1. Sorry I mean the Chicago 34

  50. I suppose if he really did keep his virginity with these available then he’s kinda earned it:…..iend-1.jpg

  51. Huge sack on 3rd and 5 by the Packers. Anything else going on out there?

    1. 51 yard attempt

    2. 51 yard attempt

      1. The squirrels anticipated the Bears icing the kicker.

  52. Heeeeeere we go.

  53. Tebow is 7-1

    1. Who deserves more credit for the win, Prater or Marion Barber? Note that Tebow is not an option this week.

      1. That was God disguised as Marion Barber.

    2. Barf!!!

      …then eats it

  54. Hahahahahaha. This is awesome. Totally fucking awesome.

  55. I gotta say, that was one fucking entertaining 10 minutes of football. The first 55 minutes not so much.

  56. OMFG! I followed it on gametracker and couldn’t be much more excited if I’d have been there. Speechless.

  57. The only damper on my day has been the Patriots buttfucking of the Redskins with an assist from the officials. I’m still looking for the replay of the offensive pass interference call that kept the Redskins from tying it with a minute to go.

    1. NBC is talking about the game now.

      1. Just went there and they have the 328th anti-smoking ad of the day on.

  58. Comments are down on the FFL board, PantsFan. I wonder what Tulpa is thinking knowing he’s got to score 29 points between Dez Bryant and Jake Ballard to not get knocked out in Round 1.

    And BTW, I would be crushing every one of you fuckers that made the playoffs with my totals this week.

    1. I was assured that Purple Jesus would be playing.

      1. Oh, brutal. And Deion Branch gets you zilch with Brady throwing for over 350 yards?

        Man, that sucks.

    2. This is the worst Sunday ever.

      Tebow was present for my team beating themselves AND I’m going to get shitcanned in the FF playoffs. Fuck.

      I knew this was going to be a bad day when I had to wait like 30 minutes to use the range because a bunch of Asian kids from CMU were having a gun party.

  59. I need “Good Eli” to show up at the stadium today.

    1. Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy. Drained dry. I’m so sorry. Here, if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. There it is, that’s a straw, you see? You watching?. And my straw reaches acroooooooss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake… I… drink… your… milkshake

  60. Hey, you guys, why not show your support for Ron Paul by participating in this poll on who won the debate last night!


    Oh, Paul wasn’t one of the choices? Never mind.

    1. Oops, the Yahoo home page poll!

  61. Many climate apocalyptists also say the world will completely run out of oil in the near future. Since burning fossil fuels is the largetst contributor to increased CO2 levels, the “problem” solves itself automatically as soon as we run out of oil.

    1. “Many climate apocalyptists also say the world will completely run out of oil in the near future.”

      In the ’50s, I read an article that said we’re were going to be out of oil in 20 years. Well, the horror of it! I was only going to be able to drive a car for short time! Dear ol’ Dad said ‘not to worry; I read the same thing in the ’30s and the ’40s’.
      If you think about it, it’s no great surprise; what commercial operation is going to prospect for resources beyond a 20-year horizon? Who could possibly (reliably) predict the costs, selling price and THE GOVERNMENT REGS concerning the product?
      All such claims are simply a confirmation of the concept of rational ignorance.

      1. In the ’50s, I read an article…

        Damn, Sevo, you’re old as fuck.

        1. He means 1850s

          1. Then he should have shot Lincoln before he shredded the Constitution.

        2. Naah.
          I’m older than that!
          Hey, my WBIL claims people lived to 400 years according to the bible; I’m going to prove he right!

          1. “him” not “he”.

          2. Hey, my WBIL claims people lived to 400 years according to the bible;

            Um, it’s spelled Retarded, not Wetarded.

            That is the direction you were going in, wasn’t it?


  63. I want to apologize to most of the regular posters here. In the past couple of weeks, I have posted a ton of stories regarding cop abuse, double-standards and general jackassery in the lame of the law. I have also engaged debate with dunphy on every possible occasion and have also baited him into debating when I know good and goddamn well what his responses are going to be.

    I guess, in retrospect, I come across as a troll. Well, that was never my intent and I hope it hasn’t damaged my reputation here, which I hope was pretty good up to this point.

    Anyway, in the future, I will make every effort to know what the result of my posting these type of stories will be, and I will refrain out of respect for the majority of you. And while I despise the idiocy of certain people on here, it doesn’t excuse idiocy on my part just to prove a point.

    Again, sorry if I’ve been a pain in H&R’s ass lately.

    1. Speaking of trollish figures, where’s MNG been hiding?

      1. I remember him saying he was gonna be away from H&R for a while a few weeks ago. He didn’t say why, but the time frame seems about right.

        Has John been coping with just pictures of fatties from The Sun to get him by?

    2. It takes a real man to own up to something as egregious as this.

    3. It’s alright, you didn’t have a reputation to destroy anyway. We all already think of you as a piece of shit. But that’s OK, because shit fertilizes the fields, and is where peanuts come from, so its bad rap is mostly undeserved.

      Incidentally, I’ve been enjoying your constant kicking of sand in his eyes.

      1. Thanks?

          1. Jim’s link is SFW, in case any of you were wondering.

            1. SFW = SugarFree Welcomed

    4. “I guess, in retrospect, I come across as a troll. Well, that was never my intent and I hope it hasn’t damaged my reputation here, which I hope was pretty good up to this point”

      Seriously, Dunphy has put him(her)self in a difficult position.
      Cops are paid to be other than the dregs of society they sometimes deal with, and (as far as I’ve followed the arguments) Dunphy has been an apologist for police who act at least that bad and at times worse.
      Dunphy, him(her)self seems decent enough, but the defense of most of the reported activities leaves Dunphy in that role. And it’s not pretty.

    5. No, it’s refreshing, sloop. I wish more people did it. Exposing abuse of authority can never get old, anyways.

    6. Since COP H8R is not allowed as a personalized plate here, keep going.

    7. It could be worse sloop. You could be Dunphy.

      1. Yeah, but I still feel bad about it. It’s taken away from my and everybody else’s enjoyment of the site, and I’m not happy about that.

        I wish that challenging people to duels wasn’t frowned upon. I’m a pretty decent shot.

  64. Good on ya, Sloopy. For what it’s worth, I’d rather we had more cops like Dunphy. I don’t see him as the type to murder a janitor in a convenience store. And I’m glad he hangs around, even when I disagree with him. That said, I’m glad you’ve been holding his feet to the fire.

  65. Everybody go look at Drudge.

    Laugh. Cry. Do whatever comes to mind.

    Then report back. [laughing here, BTW.]

    1. Are you talking about the Tebow thing?

      1. Well I ain’t talking about the “Major Battle In Syria,” which is probably less divisive than Saint Timothy, The Mile High Virgin.*

        *I just thought of that. Does it work?

        1. His success has given me cause to question my athiesm, because obviously something stupid and against all laws of reality is occuring there.

          Really I think it’s like when Miami brought the wildcat back like 3 years ago, and they were really good with it using Ronnie Brown for a couple of years, then once DCs everywhere caught on and came up with a few simple schemes against it, it died back down.

          Same thing running the spread option in the league. Nobody does it, so they have to wait until they have a lot of film to see all his looks, but once they have that and can practice on it, these last-second victories will start going the other way.

          I do desperately wish I could see Denver & Carolina play this year, or very early next year, as it’s the closest I’ll ever come to seeing a college game being run with NFL-level talent.

          1. His success has given me cause to question my athiesm, because obviously something stupid and against all laws of reality is occuring there.

            Religion jokes aside, it’s not real hard to see why Denver’s been winning–their defense and special teams have played well and kept things close so that the offense can take over at the end and pull the game out.

            This shit happened A LOT when Elway was early in his career. Teams would handle Dan Reeves’ simplistic run-run-pass scheme for 3 quarters, but if Denver stayed within 10 or so points in the 4th quarter, Elway would typically pull it out in the end.

            And while Tebow hasn’t been Brees, Brady, or even Cam Newton, it’s plain to see that Denver responds to his leadership in crunch time. If you’re not up by at least 3 scores at the two-minute warning, you’re dead. This is a team that will ruthlessly exploit any and every mistake you make when it counts at the end of the game.

            Denver’s won shootouts, it’s won defensive struggles, it’s won when down by three scores at the half, it’s won when down by two scores with 2 minutes to go, it’s won when pinned on their own 5-yard line. And I’ll be damned if I’ve ever seen anything like it.

            I don’t know if they’ll win the division, but if they make the playoffs, they’re going to be a very dangerous team and under-estimating them would be a mistake.

            1. The altitude may help at home, but you’re right: they’ve done it every which way.

              And, since they split with the Raiders and Chargers and have a better conference record, 1 more win might be enough to win the division.

            2. The Bears gift-wrapped this game today. If Marion Barber goes down in bounds on that one play, the Bears run out the clock.

              They will get clobbered next week. TT still hasn’t beaten a team with a competent offense.

              1. The Bears gift-wrapped this game today. If Marion Barber goes down in bounds on that one play, the Bears run out the clock.

                Yeah, and if Tebow’s receivers had been catching the ball early in the first half, Barber’s run would have been irrelevant.

                In five years, the only thing anyone’s going to look at is the record.

            3. if they make the playoffs, they’re going to be a very dangerous team and under-estimating them would be a mistake.

              Oh please. The Pats and Steelers would make mince meat of Tebow. All you need is a marginally competent offense to put the game out of reach in the fourth quarter… Denver’s defense isn’t THAT good.

              1. Oh please. The Pats and Steelers would make mince meat of Tebow. All you need is a marginally competent offense to put the game out of reach in the fourth quarter… Denver’s defense isn’t THAT good.

                Watching the butthurt from people like you week after week is what’s making this run so awesome.

  66. George F. Will: Ron Paul’s chance to hand Obama the election…..story.html

  67. LAT has a half-decent, if very short, story about Ron Paul. Makes sure last paragraph makes him look divisive.

    1. FTA: “We don’t use [drones] on every call out,” said Bill Macki, head of the police SWAT team in Grand Forks. “If we have something in town like an apartment complex, we don’t call them.”

      Protip: don’t expect any privacy unless you live in an apartment in town.

    2. How many beginnings has that particular end had? Your counterparts in the 1920s were fretting over police having access to cars with radios in them.

      The drones can’t see anything that airplanes or helicopters couldn’t already.

      1. So now “In plain sight” means what a drone with the vision of an eagle can see?

        Not to mention “posse comitatus.” These are being operated by the military, FFS.

        1. There you go making shit up again.

          The drones belong to U.S. Customs and Border Protection, which operates eight Predators on the country’s northern and southwestern borders to search for illegal immigrants and smugglers.

          And “in plain sight” means something that is visible from an area the officer/detector is permitted to be in. It doesn’t matter how hard it is to see.

          1. Making shit up again?

            Local police say they have used two unarmed Predators based at Grand Forks Air Force Base to fly at least two dozen surveillance flights since June.

            IMO, use of military facilities=use of military, hence breach of “posse.”

            1. use of military facilities=use of military

              No. And of course your original contention was that “they are operated by the military” which was completely false.

              The space shuttle wasn’t military equipment despite the fact that it landed at Van Allen AFB.

              If I buy a pack of gum at an air force base, does that make it “military equipment”?

    1. I’ve got a feeling inside me.
      It’s kinda strange like a stormy sea
      I don’t know why, I don’t know why
      I guess these things have gotta be
      I gotta new rose, I got her good
      Guess I knew that I always would

        1. None of you better fuck with Banjos, cause She’s My Bitch.*


          1. I better expect The Big Payback from Banjos for saying that.

            1. Just kidding, Banjos. U know I Would Die 4 U

            2. Oh sloop, I’ll be happy to your little bitch.

              1. Then you’re my Queen Bitch.

    2. We hope you like Jamming

      1. Jam on it, motherfuckers!


  68. Uh oh – now I have a Tebowner.

    No homo…

    1. We were arguing about that very thing on here just last week. I don’t think it’s homo as long as you don’t stick it in.

      1. Cool. Thanks.

        1. Oh, and you guys also agreed that as long as you accept money, they can even come in your asshole it it’s still OK.

          I’m still glad I stood my ground on that one.

          1. I think that’s the conversation I was thinking of. I couldn’t remember the exact parameters of the debate, but that sounds about right.

          2. It’s not gay, c’est tranquil

            1. Canadians don’t get a vote in this one, because they’re too Euro-faggy still. Unless you fought a violent war for independence and then kept a bunch of slaves, you’re not tough enough to decide who’s gay or not.

              Really the standards in Europe threw me. I’d see two guys all but making out, and it’s just normal there that they’re straight, and just happen to also open-mouth kiss other men. I was…uncomfortable.

              1. It’s not gay if you’re underway!

    1. If you’re gonna go all Canada-faggy, go balls-out Canada-faggy.

      1. You keep that crap away from me.…

        1. He used to be quite aStrapping Young Lad

          1. I can’t compete with you guys’ knowledge of obscure music, so here’s something I do know a lot about.

            One of my fav movies. Watch the whole video, unless you’re a pussy.

            1. When it comes to horror, I am the world’s biggest pussy.

            2. Phooey. Clarinet artistry:
              Sorry for all the twitter fans; it’s more than 9 minutes.

              1. Damnit, I thought that was going to be some kind of clever set-up for an awesome horror clip.

                  1. Haha, I got an ad for Herbal Essences before the clip started, so I thought that was the clever setup.

                    That flick was alright, but I liked The Devil’s Rejects considerably better. Just my opinion though.

                    1. Oh, I totally agree on The Devil’s Rejects being a lot better. It’s just that that scene popped into my head and seemed appropriate here.

  69. Did you just call Neil Young obscure? I’ll bury you.

    1. For no reason other than I love this motherfucking jam!!!

    2. Neil Young is only obscure to people with taste.

      1. Neil Young is only obscure to people with taste.


      2. Don’t need you, southern man.

        1. As long as he still remembers, a Southern Man don’t need him around anyhow.

  70. Eli, I don’t think that fade to the corner of the end zone is going to work tonight. They’re on to you.

  71. Hahaha

    If Ballard scores here I win.

  72. Fuck. Now I need Dez to score.

  73. OK, overtime is good too.

  74. Timeout!

    Now he’s gonna miss it just like last week.

    1. Hahahahahahahahaha. Called it, bitches!

      1. Fuck. I just knew Ballard would win the game with a TD if they went to OT.

        1. If it makes you feel any better, I would have beaten you by 32 points.

          1. That doesn’t make me feel any better. The knowledge that all of you will merely wind up gobbled by worms like me does give me some measure of satisfaction, though.

    2. Yup

  75. Down goes Tulpa! Down goes Tulpa! Down goes Tulpa!

    1. As a Dallas resident, the only thing I can say is…at least the bar is going to clear out faster, so I can leave the house in about 5 min. instead of like 30. I hate crowded bars.

      Also, I hate Jerry Jones, so it’s kind of a win/win situation for me. I love the Cowboys, so when they win, I’m happy. But I hate Jerry Jones, so when they lose on a nationally televised game, I’m happy. Esp. if it involves something embarrassing, like giving up 15 points in six minutes.

      1. That was a gut punch for the Cowboys. And that stupid blowhard of a defensive coordinator Bob Ryan needs to turn in his keys when he leaves the stadium tonight. He’s a fucking joke.

        1. He’s 1 cheeseburger away from a heart attack.

          1. Well, then he’s 1 cheeseburger too many away from a heart attack if you’re a Cowboys fan.

            1. We do have one of those theme restaurants, I think it’s called the Cardiac Grill or something like that, where the waitresses dress like slutty nurses, all the food is proudly like 1,000 calories or higher, and if you’re over 300 lbs. you eat for free. I’m sure Rob is batting over that.

        2. I like exotic blitz schemes as much as the next guy, but if they’re not working because you simply don’t have the personnel, you’ve got to move on.

          Thank god for DeMarcus Ware, because without him, we wouldn’t even be also-rans.

        3. That whole fucking clan is overrated.

          Football pundits act as if Buddy Ryan’s a genius, just because he implemented a variation of the 4-4 defense. The man had a ridiculous amount of talent in Philadelphia and pissed it away year after year because his mouth wrote checks his team couldn’t cash.

          Rex is fixing to recreate his daddy’s legacy, and Rob only has a job because of the family name. God help the league if the third generation of Ryans gets involved in the NFL, because I don’t know if the universe could sustain the weight of that much unjustified ego.

          1. I’ve had a lot of conversations in the past with Cris Carter about this. He acknowledges his mistakes, but will also tell you Buddy Ryan did everything he could to keep him down. He said Ryan’s sons had the same prickish demeanor when they would hang around after the college seasons ended.

            Anyway, look at how Carter blossomed after he got away. And to see him mentally and emotionally back then (we played a lot of pickup and summer league basketball with him 87-89 and he kept in touch after that through his brother Butch) and compare that to the way he was at tOSU and later at Minnesota, it’s not too hard to figure out something in Philly wasn’t right.

            1. I’ve had a lot of conversations in the past with Cris Carter about this.

              Did you ask him why he quit making the X-Files?

              1. Hehe. I had forgotten about that.

                BTW, Cris Carter may have been the best high school basketball player I’ve ever seen. He used to run circles around his brother Butch when he was just out of the NBA.

                Ah, the days and nights at Sunset Park (or “The Inkwell” as it was known) in Middletown. Playing ball until the gunshots rang out.

  76. First baby born in Winnipeg’s new birth centre

    “It just felt more comfortable for me than the hustle and bustle of a hospital,” she said. “I thought that would be overwhelming for me. So yeah, it turned out to be the best thing for me, I think.”
    Eight midwives are on staff but expectant mothers with other midwives can also use the centre.…..nnipegHome

    1. Congratulations, Manitoba! And welcome to the 20th Century!!!


      1. I hate hippies. I was born in a hospital. My friends gave birth in a pool, now their babies are sick every 6 weeks.

        1. I can’t help it, I pee every time I enter a pool

        2. The expectations to be in the room during delivery are damn near soul crushing.

          1. By the way, I wasn’t. Not because I won that argument but due to a miscalculation by the anesthesiologist.

  77. What took me so long to find this?

    1. Will you marry me?

      Think about it:
      You pick the music.
      No shitty superhero movies.
      I speak Pig Latin fluently.
      I make pretty fucking good money.
      And fidelity is a concept I’m only loosely familiar with.

      1. I don’t know. The charming doctor offered me a music room and antique acoustic instruments. If this was a competition (which I now declare is), he is in the lead.

        1. If it’s any consolation, I sing like this

          1. Great, somebody else that sounds like an autotune version of Ricky Martin.

          2. But can you sing like this?

            1. Alas, I cannot.

              1. But I’ve information vegetable, animal and mineral.
                I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical
                From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.

        2. Pshaw. I’ll buy you new instruments! And I’ll take you to the Hollywood Bowl and let you play, like Eric Stoltz should have done in Some Kind Of Wonderful.

    1. +all the countries not listed

    2. I can’t remember if they name all the countries in this version or if they just jibba-jabba.

            1. No, I’m not taking that bet. He died 15 years ago. How old do you think I am?

              1. I thought you said you were mid-late 30’s like almost everybody else here.

                1. I am, and Wilf Carter was not a cool show when I was in High School.

                  1. As a Canadian, would you rather be touched by Wilf Carter inappropriately or have sex with Alanis Morissette?

                    1. Alanis, but she’d probably write a song about it.

                    2. What if Wilf paid you $500 dollars afterward?

                    3. Then you pass the test. Good man.

                    4. If you want to seduce me, bring out the big guns.

  78. AFI before they started to suck.

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