Wait, Honey Smacks Have a Lot of Sugar?
The Environmental Working Group lists the "10 Worst Children's Cereals," based on sugar content. There are no real surprises. No. 1, clocking in at 55.6 percent sugar by weight, is Kellogg's Honey Smacks, which used to be called Sugar Smacks until someone decided that honey sounded healthier. Also in the top (bottom?) 10: three varieties of Cap'n Crunch, two varieties of Froot Loops, and Kellogg's Smorz.
Who knew? I mean, aside from anyone who bothered to read the boxes or taste the cereal. Meanwhile, the brands that are marketed as healthier because they have less sugar, such as Kix and Cheerios Original, turn out to have less sugar. Both of those brands appear on the EWG's list of "6 Good Big-Brand Cereals." But the "Best Cereals," according to the EWG, are the expensive ones that are hard to find—not just because they are expensive and hard to find but also because they are "free of pesticides and genetically modified ingredients," which the EWG considers important for some reason.
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Haven't seen a Matt Welch post yet today. Assume he's too busy celebrating Pujols to the Angels.
Just what Orange County needs, more annoying bandwagon Angel fans.
It's not going to matter once the Astros come into the division and DOMINATE! *cries because he can't lie to himself that much- and because he hates fake baseball.*
Well, they still have Wells in their starting line up (though I hear he has a new, secret batting coach.) Dipoto might yet rid the Angels of Wells - he showed disturbingly good judgement in dumping Mathis.
It's not very sporting to pick on the retarded.
Yeah, Froot Loops is pretty much like eating a bowl of candy for breakfast.
And so, so delicious.
The husband unit and I were mistily reminiscing about Captain Crunch the other day as well.
Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. That shit is awesome.
I had a bowl of fruit loops for breakfast today. Yes it is as delicious as a bowl of candy thank you!
How did Corn Pops not make the "worst" list? When I ate them -- i.e., back when I was a skinny little kid -- they were called Sugar Pops.
Also, Frosted Mini-Wheats.
Frosted Mini-Wheats made their best list surprisingly.
It seems sugar has become a dirty word. I could swear "Golden Crisps" used to be Sugar Crisps.
and you couldn't get enough of 'em
In Canada, it's still Sugar Crisp.
Yeah, but in Canada you can get dill pickle or ketchup flavored chips. A processed food consumer base tough enough to stomach ketchup chips don't need no euphemisms for their junk food.
Ketchup flavored chips?
What. The. Fuck.
Settle down. I bet it's basically BBQ chips without the... I bet it's basically BBQ chips.
They're around in some places in the States, I've seen people with them but I don't know what store they came from.
Wait a minute, ketchup chips are only a Canadian thing? Huh.
You can get dill pickle chips here too.
And they are FUCKING AMAZING.
Both of those made their way as far south as Alabama. I've tried both. Somehow, the word "vile" isn't strong enough.
Oh come off it. Ketchup is basically barbecue with red dye and more sugar
Sugar Bear was the cool tout for that fine cereal.
Yeah. When I was a kid, Mommy chose from the likes of Sugar Pops, Sugar Crisp, Super Sugar Crisp (even more awesome sugar!), Sugar Frosted Flakes, Sugar Smacks...
[sigh]
Good times.
Years ago, in response to Sugar Frosted Flakes being criticized for being 50% sugar, Kellogg came out with ads saying that there was only 14 grams of sugar in each ounce of Sugar Frosted Flakes.
14 grams per ounce...that's like, what, only 10 tweets per chatroom?
Godfather: So tell me, why do you want me to kill this Count Chocula?
Captain Crunch: Because that bastard has been spreading lies about my product. It does NOT scrape the roof of your mouth!
dude, RUGMOUTH supreme...i loved crunchberries though.
Crunchberries, my ass.
crunchberries are for pussies.
Harvey Birdman? Robot Chicken?
My kids refer to it as "Sweet, delicious mouthrape"
What's this? Price and scarcity are related to each other? And they can be leading indicators of good products that I might be interested in purchasing? Will the modern wonders of the world never cease?
You can eat healthily for pretty cheap as long as you don't fall for the "organic" non-sense. It makes sense, too. When you buy a processed meal, you are paying for the ingredients as well as all the equipment, labor, and other non-food resources that go into the finished product.
yeah, but you ever try to make your own honey nut cheerios?
good thing the EWG is around. I would have never figured out Cap'n Crunch has a lot of sugar. As for the so-called healthy (read: stupid expensive) cereals, something about starting a day with bowlful of twigs and pebbles that leaves me thinking that skipping breakfast is the better option.
Wait are fruity pebbles on the "good" list? That's a surprise!
Fuity pebbles are my drunken crack.
Chex and Cheerios are relatively low in sugar, reasonably priced, and fairly tasty.
^^^True statement. But Cap'n Crunch is still better.
All boxed breakfast cereals are bad for you. It would probably do our kids less harm, to feed them the packaging.
ok that's funny
We should report to them, so everyone knows, Frosted Flakes are Corn Flakes with sugar melded to them with a non-nuclear cereal varnish.
Just attach a disclaimer stating that eating frosted flakes as a kid while your teeth are coming out is the equivalent of sorting nails with your gums.
True story: My SIL fed her children real fresh oatmeal every morning since they were born. Her children are now in High School.
My parents would make Red River cereal (link for the Americans as I don't think you can get it in the US). No amount of milk and sugar made it appealing.
aka bird seed.
Way to export breakfast-related suffering to Canadian children from coast to coast, un-Friendly Manitoba.
I think we have the highest concentration of hippies outside of West Vancouver.
Clearly it's wasted on you, Dagny. You hosers don't appreciate Red River just like you don't appreciate the Shat.
I've been looking in vain for Red River ever since I had it in Manitoba. I didn't realize you couldn't get it here.
My SIL fed her children real fresh oatmeal every morning since they were born. Her children are now in High School.
They are now in their late 40s.
And now you know ....
Is your point that oatmeal, contrary to popular reports, is no poisonous?
I enjoy Honey Nut Cheerios. Apparently they prevent cancer or something.
AIDS. Eating them prevents AIDS. that's what all the priests in africa are saying anyway.
Anybody who feeds their kids the cereal on their "best list" is a monster.
I still eat a rotation of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Frosted Mini Wheats and Regular Cheerios. Sometimes you just need some goddamn sugar in the morning. As a kid I would eat like two bowls of CTC or Fruit Loops or something but that's because I spent most of my non-school time outside exercising.
...As a kid I would eat like two bowls of CTC...
Dude, if you're abbreviating that shit, you're in deep.
I am a fan of fruity pebbles too but since the ol doctor visit about 2 years ago I only eat dead animals.
Do you read Kurt Harris? He's down with Rice Krispies.
My mother was a health food nut, and we had no sugared cereals in the house. Have you ever had unsweetened Quinoa Flakes? Have you?!?
THE HORROR
(For me, Grape Nuts were like a sugar bomb.)
The missus managed to condition the kids to eat sugarless cereal, with no self-applied sugar, in skim milk. :::shudder:::
I'm having the boy chop firewood daily to toughen him up.
Dude, eating Amaranth cereal and Weetabix makes you a fuckload tougher than chopping some sissy wood. It's like eating a tree.
...instead of chopping it up.
(sorry, forgot to add that last part before submitting)
yeah, but if you're gonna eat a tree, doesn't that imply that you'd need to chop it down first?
amateur
it's not like beavers just gnaw on upright trees. they fell those bitches.
As a kids I would eat weetabix (weetbix for me!) dry as a snack, like one would eat a granola bar. My throat is still scratched up!
Dude!
My mother was...
This explains so much.
;^)
It sure does. It's why I have a strange sexual attraction to tigers.
Here ya go
http://momento24.com/en/wp-con...../tiger.jpg
Not sweet enough!
Sorry.
Sweeter
http://www.sportressofblogitud.....woods2.jpg
I prefer his family photo
If Grape Nuts were like a sugar bomb for you, I truly feel for you. My family was not big on sugary cereals, but even I knew that eating Grape Nuts was like eating a handful of gravel.
Grape Nuts is some of the most blatant false advertising my childhood mind ever encountered. No raisins, no nuts, wtf?
Seriously. I remember taking one bite out of curiosity and barely being able to choke it down. Gross.
The ONLY way to choke that shit is to use match sugar in terms of weight.
1/4 lb of Grape Nuts / 1/4 lb sugar.
The only really good thing about Grape Nuts is that it doesn't take much to fill you up. But damn, you need a lot of sugar or honey to make it taste decent.
As usual, Wikipedia to the rescue...apparently, C.W. Post, follower of famous breakfast cereal crank John Harvey Kellogg, believed that some sugar called "grape sugar" (sucrose, glucose, or maltose, depending on who you're listening to) formed during the baking process. The "nuts" part may come from a slightly nutty flavor, or maybe from the fact that the cereal is about the size of grape seeds (i.e., grape "nuts"). Anyway, the lesson is clear: be it today or a hundred years ago, health food nuts make shitty cereal.
(Oh, and weirdly enough, Grape Nuts still somehow manages to have a higher glycemic index than plain table sugar, according to Wikipedia.)
Even better were the Grape Nuts Flakes.
I love grape nuts. You just need to let them soak long enough that you don't break your teeth on them. They are basically beer in dry form. How could you go wrong?
They don't get you drunk and your cat thinks it's dry food when you poor a bowl.
I thought cats were smarter than that.
Why?
I mean, there has to be a reason people prefer them to dogs, right? If it's not intelligence, then I'm back to being confused about the existence of CatPeople.
Cats purr.
Cats require less maintainance. You don't have to take them out for walks. You just open the door and let them run around. If they are outdoor cats you don't even need a litter box.
You can pretty much ignore your cat and it will ignore you. Dogs require constant attention or they will get depressed.
Hazel breaks it down.
I bought a cat because I don't feel like walking a pet in the freezing cold just so it can take a shit. Fill their food and water bowls every day, give them a bit of attention, drop a few toys, and they're usually good.
Dogs are great for certain things, but to me they're just too fucking needy.
And pour some real maple syrup in the bowl. Just awesome.
Or, make them hot.
Quinoa flakes woudl be pretty bad, I imagine. But my favorite cereal right now is nothing but grain and includes quinoa, amaranth and every other kind of grain you can imagine. Pretty good with some butter and honey.
Dude, I feel your pain. Carob cookies give you any flashbacks?
Powdered skim milk. Nothing like having to stir your milk for 20 minutes.
Lunch: unsweetened, unsalted peanut butter with Polaner "Simply Fruit" no-sugar jelly sprinkled with powdered skim milk on 7-grain bread.
AIIGGHHHHHHH
Please stop giving examples of your childhood diet. It is killing me.
There there. She was trying to build your character, make you a better, stronger Episiarch. And it worked!
I think I'm beginning to understand now.
My roommate eats a lot of cereal, from the sugary stuff to the healthier stuff. I have her buy me Honey Bunches of Oats with Cinnamon Bunches.
I tried one of her sugary cereals when mine was out. It was something I probably had as a kid and enjoyed, but I really did not like it. But she also likes regular Cheerios, with no sugar. Yuck!
I am disturbed by the lack of Sugar Tits cereal.
And Brown Sugar Tits as well.
What, no Sugar Bombs?
By your command
The EWG website actually has an illustration of a box labelled "Sugar Bombs" cereal. When Watterson did it it was cute and funny, when EWG does it it's just smug.
No, these Sugar Bombs.
How else will you make Ultrajet?
Kellogg's Honey Smacks, which used to be called Sugar Smacks
Yep, and "Golden" Crisp used to be called Super Sugar Crisp. How did anyone survive the 1970s (aka the good old days) without the sage advice of our modern cadre of benevolent scolds?!
What's even worse are that modern day scolds actually DID live through the 70s.
I mean, aside from anyone who bothered to read the boxes...
It is interesting that the ones that might be considered to have unhealthy levels of sugar include the specific amounts on the box. I wonder why they do that.
No one would know that any food is unhealthy unless the government told them. That's why everyone assumes that eating the ribs at Outback every day is a great way to lose weight.
General versus specific information.
How's that work again?
Oh, right, I needed to know that this particular cereal had 55% of an average daily sugar intake. If that had been only 50%, I'd have eaten them. That was surely billions of dollars well spent.
That's why I only drink beer that doesn't inlcude calorie count on the bottle. Ignorance is bliss.
More importantly...Jacob Sullum used it as an example of how people would know the cereal was loaded with sugar.
He sets up the private group disseminating health information as useless because they are providing information that is already discernible from legally mandated reporting. It is assbackwards argumentation from the dominant perspective around here. Seemed worth pointing out.
Fruity Pebbles or GTFO.
Bonus: substitute fruity pebbles for rice krispies when making rice krispy treats. Your taste buds can't repel flavor of that magnitude!
I overdosed doing that once. I was off the walls for days! Everything else still tastes like crap in comparison.
Holy fuck now I have to leave work early and go to the store...
Coco pebbles! It'll be just like crunchy brownies! Better make an appointment with the ol' dentis while I'm at it.
I use Rice Krispies and Ovaltine, malted version.
Thanks for the info. Now shut up and pass me my Fruit Loops! Mmmmmmm.
The best is clearly Lucky Charms, where you pick out just the marshmallows. That was my go-to snack in college, as my stupid parents would only buy stupid healthy cereals for me as a kid.
Go with the walmart or grocery store brand as the ration of marshmellow:crap is much better.
the brands that are marketed as healthier because they have less sugar, such as Kix and Cheerios Original, turn out to have less sugar
That that comes as a surprise is disappointing.
Everything should be available and the government should shut the fuck up about food. But I can't believe the fucking shit parents feed their kids for breakfast.
One bowl of mild farina.
Theres nothing better than real food for breakfast. I eat bacon and eggs every morning. But you know, people would rather eat the carb filled "heart healthy" cereal. Why? Because back in the 70s the McGovern Report said that fat was bad for you. The report it turned out completely fabricated its data. Good thing the government told us what to eat. Now we're much thinner and healthier, and health care has never cost less.
I have totally become a bacon and eggs convert. I will never go back to eating carbs for breakfast and feeling hungry/crappy a few hours later. The government's daily grain recommendations can blow me.
4 hour body! Toss some spinach in there!
My rule of thumb is that anyone who tells me to eat less bacon and eggs should be disregarded.
Speaking of other healthy eating tips .... I've pretty much givn up drinking anything but water and unsweetened tea. You would be shocked at how great you feel after a few days of this.
Not sure if the data was fabricated--my impression was that there was no real data at all to support the recommendations, but the McGovern committee went ahead based on an educated guess that turned out to be wrong.
Haven't eaten cereal in years myself. It's all bad for you, and overpriced for what you get. I eat fruit and a tomato/cheese omelet every morning. Not much into grains, whole or otherwise, but old fashioned or Irish oatmeal is healthy too and cheap compared to boxed cereals.
Oatmeal is all right. Just don't douse it with brown sugar. Have a piece of fruit instead.
WTF is the EWG?
How much sugar does the EWG contain?
EWG = Earwig
I googled around, but couldn't find any nutritional info.
Seeing a box of Kix in my youth meant that my mother was suddenly on a health-food kick.
I mostly lived on Cheerios - with a big dollop of sugar to make 'em go down.
Other childhood favorites: Trix (colored rabbit poop), Lucky Charms, Golden Grahams (never, ever eat an entire box of that stuff), and Froot Loops.
Where is the government warning that Boo Berry turns your shit green?
Somewhere with the warning that Guinness turns your poop black.
Warning? That's better than a TOY in the box!
So, if you pour Guinness over Boo Berry cereal...
This article would have been a lot cooler if Baylen Linnekin had posted it. Sigh. I miss him.
Huh? "But the "Best Cereals," according to the EWG, are the expensive ones that are hard to find." Hard to find? The expensive organic/natural/artificial-color- and artificial-flavor-free cereals are usually in the next aisle over. Did EWG have a hard time finding the next aisle?
Oh, wait, I get it now! The subtext is that we need gub'mint to mandate that every grocery store carry the expensive, tiny boxes of "all-natural organic" breakfast cereals that are close to a buck a serving. We don't want obese, sugar-sweating Americans to have to waddle over to the next aisle where they'd find the natural stuff that they usually avoid anyway because it costs 3x as much, and comes only in 10-oz. boxes that don't last a week.
Honey is made of sugar. How can anyone not know Honey Smacks is full of sugar? It's right there in the name!
I assume it also contains a lot of smack.
It's a gateway cereal. First the kids will think smack is the same as sugar...
The real problem is probably that people ought to be eating fruit for breakfast, and we've replaced the fruit in our diets with refined sugar.
So instead of having porridge and strawberries, you get flakes that have had sugar sprayed over them mixed with milk, with some strawberry flavoring.
I hardly ever eat cereal at all. I have oatmeal with yogurt and fresh berries.
The real problem is probably that people ought to be eating fruit for breakfast, and we've replaced the fruit in our diets with refined sugar.
So instead of having porridge and strawberries, you get flakes that have had sugar sprayed over them mixed with milk, with some strawberry flavoring.
I hardly ever eat cereal at all. I have oatmeal with yogurt and fresh berries.
Wow, I didn't know they have Marshmallow Froot Loops.
I'm gonna go ahead and assert that all of the cereal that people actually eat is free of pesticides; otherwise, there wouldn't be many repeat customers, what with them choking to death on their own bloody vomit and all.
Anyway, I prefer Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.
I guess I kinda lucked out, because my old man would cook biscuits and gravy, egg, grits, bacon, and sausage for breakfast a lot of mornings. That old sailor was pretty awesome when it came to breakfast.
How to Eliminate Sugar from Your Diet
Sugar can lead to many diseases, such as Type 2 diabetes and high cholesterol. So it's definitely important to watch what you eat when it comes to sugar