Internet

So You're Mad About Something On the Internet…

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Useful advice. But don't all of you take it to heart, or we won't have any commenters left.

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  1. Is there anything more obnoxious than a ‘UMADBRO??’ troll?

    1. UMADBRO?!?

    2. Yes. Our trolls.

      1. In the marketplace of ideas, you get the trolls you deserve.

        1. No, we get you. Posting from a smartphone. Dance, puppet, dance.

            1. At Reason.com, no one can hear you scream

              1. …unless you’re screaming about your public funding being cut. Then we revel in hearing you scream.

            2. Warty|8.28.11 @ 6:31PM|#
              PWND

              Hilarious!

          1. Episiarch|8.28.11 @ 3:56PM|#
            No, we get you. Posting from a smartphone.

            It must be horrifying to be you.

        2. But not the trolls we need right now!

          1. You missed a good chat on the fantasy board last night, Goldwater. And I need to trade a kicker for a second RB.

          2. Bullshit….we’re the trolls we’ve been waiting for.

            1. Waaah! Why can’t we get good trolls?! Not that we want trolls. We hate trolls. They make us dance a silly dance and force us to reply in revealing and embarrassing ways! But why oh why can’t they be a better class of trolls! Trolls that we hate!

      2. We need Top. Men. working on new and better trolls.

  2. Dick rating = Dickfinity

    Yeah, I’ll be using that.

    1. *you’re

      (Do grammar Nazis get to skip all the way to the bottom?)

      1. Their jest towing the lion.

        1. Four all intensive purposes, yore write.

          1. For awl intensive porpoises, your rite two.

            1. The leopard cannot change his shorts.

      1. Dammit
        8==)(==8

        1. 8===><===8

          1. 8=======> (0)

            1. Is that a donut?

              1. Ummmm, donuts.

              2. Who are you to judge me? Like I’m the only person to ever fuck a pastry.

                1. “Lots of straight guys like to watch their buddies fuck. I know I do!”

          2. How did you get that less than sign to work?

            1. &lt; = <
              &gt; = >

              HTML escape codes.

          3. what happened to the header here?

            1. Anyone else see “it’s magic” who’s using reasonable for chrome? Did someone do an injection hack?

              1. Simpsons did it…..

              2. Amakudari? And an “injection hack” – you think H&R isn’t sanitizing their inputs? Or do I have the wrong language?

            2. Right-to-left override character.

              http://www.branah.com/picker

              1. Type “start”
              2. Type “202E” in the Unicode box (U+____) and hit Go. Click the blank box for U+202E
              3. Type “dne” (which will show up as “end”)
              4. Select all, copy-and-paste into name box.
              5. ???
              6. Profit

              Nothing to do with SQL injection or unsanitized inputs, by the way. Just good old Unicode support (IOW it’s a feature if you want stuff like Hebrew and Arabic to work).

              1. I can code FORTRAN IV. Will that help?

                … Hobbit

                1. I think you mean:

                  I CAN CDE FRTRAN IV
                  WILL THAT HELP

                  HBBIT

                  1. “Can code FORTRAN IV for food”

                    I think I’m gonna be hungry.

                    … Hobbit

                  2. I CAN CDE FRTRAN IV

                    So I didn’t make the nerdiest observation here, and I learned something:

                    Letter O Considered Harmful

                    (To be fair, it was harmful given the awfulness of GOTO statements.)

                    1. Woohoo I won the nerd award!!!!!

              2. Okay, that makes sense. It seemed a lot more benign than a hack, and the R-t-L makes sense, given that I’ve seen Hebrew, Arabic, (as well as Chinese and Japanese characters) here. Thx for the info.

                1. I can fire up my Commodore 64, if that’ll help…

              3. “want stuff like Hebrew and Arabic to work).”

                You know how hard it is to get a Hebrew to work?

    2. CLOSE THE DICK GATE!

  3. There is no comment too stupid to be posted on the Internet.

    1. Can God make himself so stupid to make a comment too stupid for the Internet?

      1. He created White Indian in his own image, so I guess it’s plausible.

        1. I would expect that from the denizen of the AGRICULTURAL-CITY STATE. Now I’m off to sniff wildflowers.

      2. If he does, he will apparently send me to type it. Yikes.

    1. Dance, puppet!

      1. You just did.

        It’s funny ’cause it’s unself-aware.

  4. Mmmmmmmmmmmm, sammiches….

  5. There is no comment too stupid to be posted on the Internet.

    Just one more unintended consequence of private property and Agrarianist oppression.

    1. Without the Internet, White Indian would have to hike over to the next hunter-gatherer tribe’s encampment to pick an argument — or something like that.

  6. http://freethoughtblogs.com/ph…..e-weather/

    PZ Myers hates meteorology-hatin’ libertarians!

    1. PZ Myers hates meteorology-hatin’ libertarians!

      Shouldn’t he be getting back to teaching 13th grade right about now?

      1. Again… PZ has no fuckin’ business calling his blog “free thought” anything.

        1. Show us where PZ touched you.

          1. Go fuck yourself.

          2. Piss off, “ha”.

    2. PZ seems to be unaware of the fact that FEMA’s role in natural disasters is to prevent the residents of the area from helping each other.

      -jcr

    1. And to those 38% that approve: I think it’s time to let Ol’ Painless out the bag.

    2. He personally whacked Osama, and knocked off Ghadafi with the flick of a Blackberry launch button.

      1. There are idiots who will actually believe this.

        He has no choice to run as a liberal hawk next year. Did anybody see that coming in 2008?

        1. I sure didn’t. It’s funny and pretty ironic that his only “successes” in office are in the realm of foreign policy where he has followed the Bush doctrine almost to the letter.

          1. He actually went beyond the Bush Doctrine, insomuch as Bush always sought Congressional approval before he bombed people. Obama has gone into at least two nations sans approval.

              1. Don’t you just love judging people based on expectations of future actions? I mean, who needs to have actually done something peaceful to win a NPP?

                1. Then last group I can remember winning the NPP that didn’t tell everyone how to live their life (or bomb the fuck out of someone) was probably Doctors Without Borders some years ago.

                  And I may be wrong, but I wouldn’t know where am too lazy to look to find out. All I remember is Obama, the IPCC, IAEA and then DWB.

                2. It’s the ultimate progressive award – given almost exclusively on the basis of good intentions.

                  A few – MLK, Borlaug, Tutu, Mandela/DeKlerk, Walesa, Gorbachev, & Yunus/Grameen Bank, actually achieved something.

                  1. Arafat accomplished plenty, man.

                    1. The best thing Arafat did for peace was die.

                  2. Thx, sloop – I forgot DWB (MSF).

          2. I am the peace president.

      2. He personally whacked Osama??? Oh really I guess the Seals didn’t really do the job. He sat and watched it on TV like the rest of us. Knocked off Ghadafi….I think the Libyan’s rebel did that.. Please let’s give credit where it’s due.

    3. And he’s still beating all the GOP candidates.

  7. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZpsVSVRsZk

    http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2…..sse-tyson/

    To be honest, I’m not at all pleased that Neil Degrasse Tyson is doing a sequel to Cosmos.

    1. Okay, sweet-fucking jesus, I just noticed Seth MacFarlane’s name as a producer. Yep, this is going to be shit.

      1. Family Guy’s Brian used to be a smart-ass family dog. Now he’s a mouthpiece for liberal talking points.

        1. South Park is politically smarter, but I have to give Family Guy credit for being the funnier of the two.

          1. What are you, fucking retarded? Maybe in the earlier seasons it was funny, but Family Guy has just become Seth McFarlane’s personal platform to attack religion, conservatives and the physical defects of others.

            He is a partisan hack piece of shit, and anyone who prefers Family Guy over South Park deserves to be beaten with a bag of golf balls.

            And Didn’t you even look to see what this thread is about? Stay on topic, you fucking nitwit.

            1. Let’s talk beating. It used to be you could beat someone with a pillowcase full of soda cans (“BAD BOYS” movie) but nowadays the aluminum cans would burst too easily.

              1. I’ve always liked “bag of hammers” myself.

              2. David Lee Green found out the hard way how aluminum cans in a bag can be deadly.

                And if I had to beat someone, a bag full of golf balls would still be my top choice. Or maybe a towel wrapped around a bar of soap like they did to Leonard Lawrence in “FMJ.”

                1. Motorcycle chain with a bit of chainsaw chain spliced to the end.

                2. Sorgatz is a nutcase, dude. Of course he would say something unbelievably stupid like “Family Guy is funnier than South Park”.

                  At least he’s not blogwhoring.

              3. Pillowcase full of oranges. Nobody expects it and after you get done with the beating, you squeeze yourself a cool, fresh glass of orange juice to replenish your nutrients.

                1. Bonus points if you use blood oranges to hide evidence of the crime?

                  1. That’s the beauty of oranges as opposed to cans, hammers and chains. Oranges don’t cut the skin. They’re dense and have no rough edges. They have no cuts, you have no marks on your hands, and if you do it right, it doesn’t leave a mark on them.

                    1. Try a bag o’ grapefruits, bub. You don’t need as many, and the larger surface area gets the job done quicker. Hub-bub-bubbub.

                      How’dya think I kept Bob Hope in line all those years? He was a fuckin’ spider monkey, wanderin’ all over the sets during our Road To… movies. Not as bad as Lou Costello or that autistic Marx brother or Curly Fuckin’ Howard with that “woop woop nyuk nyuk” shit, though…

                      Say, anyone got some burleigh for my pipe? Hell just ain’t a good place to get some decent smoke, lemme tellya.

            2. While he attacks religion and conservatives, he doesn’t attack others defects. I love FG humor but Seths political commentary is naive and too preachy on the show. He should stick to what he knows which is good humor. He’s an ideologue and psuedo intellectual which is so typical in Hollywood and sometimes I just want to say OMG Seth just shut up you sound too stupid. After all, these people live in a sheltered bubble you can’t really expect them to understand the average human being. Haven’t you heard…he’s doing this science show to give his new 26 yr. old girlfriend a platform as an expert. Her creditials are rather slim and unimpressive but she’s young, cute and puts out. She was with Bill Maher (who’s in his 50s) for two years and now with MacFarlane who’s a little younger. But can you imagine this 26 year old telling everyone they’re stupid for believing in God or the Creationist theory because she’s a scientist and knows best at 26!!! I guess she was a HS or grade school science teacher somewhere so that gives her the credentials to tell us all about science. OIY…These guys in Hollywood are so pathetic and the older they great the worse they get. Does Gold digger fit here???

          2. South Park is also suffering from greater writer fatigue than Family Guy; although, Family Guy isn’t too far behind.

            To each of their credits, they are both more watchable than the current The Simpsons.

            1. Futurama still makes me happy when I see the new episodes. Maybe that’s where his creativity is living these days.

              1. This^^.

                And American Dad has it’s moments, but I think McFarlane has just run out of humor. Perhaps he should just take a few years off. It worked the first time.

              2. Dude, the The Simpsons was abso-fuckin’-lutely the funniest show on television from 1989 to 2000. I credit it with leading me to atheism as my entire religious upbringing could not hold-up against my desire to get home as fast as I could to catch the new episodes.

                1. “I credit it with leading me to atheism as my entire religious upbringing could not hold-up against my desire to get home as fast as I could to catch the new episodes.”

                  I’ll add for clarity that my church’s Sunday evening meetings ended at 7:00 pm Central, the time The Simpsons came on.

              3. The latest episodes just aren’t very funny, and I was one of those who could hardly wait for them.

                Ah well. Just another in a lifetime of disappointments.

                1. That was in re Futurama. The Simpsons is flagging too, though.

                  1. The new Futurama is fucking terrible, and I say that as someone who absolutely loves the original seasons and will watch them again and again.

                    I wish they had left the series alone instead of bringing shit back.

                    1. I should have followed the chart.

                    2. Yes, after Season 4, the show went off a cliff. It’s like a bunch of college grads were put in charge of the scripts. Fucking terrible indeed.

            2. Archer is hands down the funniest animated show on television. The writing, voice work, and animation are perfect.

              1. It is the leader in the clubhouse…

              2. Agreed re: Archer. Bob’s burgers is pretty funny, too. Eugene Mirman and Kristen Schall make that show.

                1. Agreed re: Archer. Bob’s burgers is pretty funny, too. Eugene Mirman and Kristen Schall make that show.

                  Yes.

              3. Frisky Dingo says hello.

            3. American Dad is actually the funniest show now.

              1. What, no love for Metalocalypse, Venture Bros. or ATHF?

            4. Venture Brothers.

              Yo.

          3. Yeah, you’re out of your mind. Hell, I could animate my own series out of a bunch of crummy string-along inside jokes.
            See: manatee think tank.

          4. All my brothers and brotherslaw love FG, but every time I try to watch it it’s a nonsensical unfunny plot spiced with a bunch of 15 seconds-long pop culture parody bits.

          5. Though in fairness the only South Park I see is the repeats on WGN America since I don’t have real cable, so I have no idea what they’re doing now.

            1. Though in fairness the only South Park I see is the repeats on WGN America since I don’t have real cable, so I have no idea what they’re doing now.

              southparkstudios.com

              has the latest eps, you WGN-watching fool.

              1. Yeah, or Netflix. They got most of the good animated series through last season online for $6 a month.

                If you’re too poor to afford that, then I pity you.

                1. I don’t think my net is fast enough to stream video.

                  1. Do you have a wii or a ps3 or a bluray player? Stream it thru that.

        2. I thought only he without sin could cast the first Prius.

    2. “It would be difficult to think of anyone who would be better able to succeed the late, great Carl Sagan.”
      Easy, Michio Kaku. Though also a liberal talking point guy to some degree, still a hell of a lot more open-minded, from what I’ve seen.

    3. Cosmos could use an update that explains string theory and M theory and all that, but yeah, I ain’t so keen on NDT. How about that hot Portuguese guy, whatisname?

      1. Considering the scientists themselves can’t really explain M theory, and have provided no potentially falsifiable hypotheses, I’m not sure how M theory would really add to one’s understanding of the universe.

        Cosmos was mostly about the known: what we knew about the universe at the time. It was wonderful, especially when I watched it with wonder as a kid. M theory is a mess of math that has captured high energy and quantum physics to the exclusion of other approaches, and for no apparent reason other than academic inertia.

  8. Speaking as someone unable to resist the temptation to respond to stupidity, this chart is meaningless.

  9. Trollin’ my life away….No Drilling, no Vaccines, no Progress, no Birth Certificates, the Mossad is behind it all…..even the Bad Weather, Stalin was really a Good Man.

  10. You’re comment is wrong, yur ani diot, and ur so shut the fuck up.

  11. You people are fucked up.

    I’m going to vote for Obama just to annoy you. For the simple reason that I would rather die than live with smug assholes like you.

    Wake the fuck up.

    You wonder why liber-whatever never get any where ??

    It’s because of you.

    1. I’m going to vote for Obama just to annoy you. For the simple reason that I would rather die than live with smug assholes like you.

      Sooo Obama is going to kill you if he wins?

    2. Obama To Reinstate Conscription. “Serve America by putting your boots down in Asia — there is no higher honor than to die in My Military.”

    3. It’s funny to see one wander in without proper mental preparation.

      1. Hey, Patooey… which is worse – having a Republican president, or a Democrat?

        Hint: Shit sandwich vs. giant douche.

        1. See, the real problem with this analogy is that there is a real use for a douche, however giant. Only my dog would eat a shit sandwich.

          Since the shit sandwich came with a side of Socialized medicine I think I will stick with the giant douche.

          1. Wrong. There is no use for a douche, real or otherwise.

    4. I’m going to vote for Obama just to annoy you. For the simple reason that I would rather die than live with smug assholes like you.

      You could just go ahead and die. It would solve your problem, and the smugness will continue either way.

  12. You’re worse than Hitler.

    1. Well granted, but what does that have to do with me being a dick on the internet?

    2. You know who else is worse than Hitler…

      1. Stalin?

      2. The Koch brothers?

      3. Scott Walker?

      4. RON PAUL!!!!!!!11

      5. Black-eyed Peas.

        1. WTF is this Stalinist Bitch Fatherland Security Minister doing telling people what to do with regards to the Hurricane Irene rainstorm? Is she planning on issuing shoot-to-kill orders on anyone disobeying the evacuation orders?

          1. They’re not really “orders” but if you get caught shooting anyone it won’t be held against you during the next performance appraisal cycle.

      6. Lebron James?

        1. Seeing as Der Fuhrer didn’t have a decent 2 man or any sort of low post presence on his side, I’d have to agree. Hell, if Tojo and Mussolini could have played any kind of defense at all, Hitlers stats would have been much stronger.

          1. LOL. It’s funny and historically accurate.

            1. Not to mention that Himmler bolted for free agency the first chance he got.

  13. Oh come on now its not that bad dude. Think about it.

    http://www.anon-stuff.us.tc

    1. Attack the bot!!! Charge!!!!!!!

      1. Reason is not your personal army.

  14. “Are you trying to make things worse?”

    how could the answer be anything but yes?

  15. Stupid Megavideo. Now I have to wait an hour to watch Doctor Who.

  16. Also, I just read of a bit of Amanda Marcotte. I think she may be dumber than Jezebel.

  17. How irrational can internet posters be? Check the hornets nest one quote from Ron Paul turned up:

    http://magic3400.newsvine.com/…..tional-law

    1. Stupid glibertarians. If the federal government doesn’t do something, IT WON’T HAPPEN EVER. What don’t you understand about that?

      1. Speaking of which…

        http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..story.html

        “Based on trends, half of the adults in the United States will be obese by 2030 unless the government makes changing the food environment a policy priority,”

        Because no one will take care of themselves without the government protecting them from the corportations.

        Here’s the justification:

        “A team of international public health experts argued that the global obesity crisis will continue to grow worse and add substantial burdens to health-care systems and economies unless governments, international agencies and other major institutions take action to monitor, prevent and control the problem.”

        In other words, we need more government to solve the problem of an over-extended government.

        1. And of course every trend continues at its current rate forever. There is no law of diminishing returns and people would never make a choice to be thinner after they saw more and more people around them experience health problems from being fat.

          File this in the same file with the “experts” back in the 80s who were convinced there would eventually be tens of millions of crack addicts.

        2. I love it! These same fucks lament the starvation going on in poor America and fully support the bloated food stamps programs at the same time they whine about the fattening of America and call upon the federal government to implement something to stop it.

          Is the press worse about food control than it is about climate “change?”

          1. They are worse about everything. Tulpa, who normally annoys me to know end, made a good point the other week. This is not your father’s liberal media. They are without question liberal. But they are also more and more just pro authoritarian. They more than anything support anything that involves smart people exercising control over the masses. If you look at their reporting through that lens, it explains a whole lot of their actions.

            1. You can also see it in the hurricane Irene, (ooops… its been tropical storm Irene for nearly a day now) coverage.

              The paternalism has always been there; now, it is a sickening parroting of the “be safe” and “of, course, stay home and off the roads as the authorities have so correctly and wisely orde…ah….advised us” propaganda. Its as if the MSM doesn’t even bother to conceal the fact that it is a cherleading / press secretary / propaganda arm of the regime.

              1. I have no problem with the media distributing public safety information. It’s not propaganda to tell people to avoid travel during a severe storm.

            2. I’m glad you appreciated it, though I didn’t intend it to mean that the media is evilly conspiring against the masses. My POV is that it’s just easier to write stories about powerful people with a master plan doing big things (the heart of authoritarianism in all its flavors) than it is to write about chaotic masses of little people doing scads of little things, many of which cancel each other out (the soul of marketism). I don’t think the media is full of evil people at all, just lazy and shortsighted ones.

              1. I should add that it’s also easier to understand narratives of Great Men doing Great Things than it is to understand the workings of markets. So on average you’re going to get more eyeballs with the authoritarian narrative than with the marketist one, in addition to the latter being more difficult to put together. That’s what the folks at Columbia School of Journalism call a “no brainer”.

                1. It’s a lot easier for a ‘journalist’ to get a story from the Undersecretary for Urban Extirpation that’s already written than it is to find some individual working on a new business or charity that will actually benefit people.

                  1. Well, the problem isn’t getting the press release — any businessperson with half a brain will be happy to supply one. The difficult part is identifying the small business or charity to talk about.

              2. I was just thinking that today. At least three of the five Sunday news shows had Fugate (FEMA director) on for an interview about Irene. That’s one of the main driving motivations for the media to support big government institutions. Without them, who would they interview for disasters and other major events? There has to be an authority for every subject. A government authority, of course.

            3. I think it’s called communism, now of course they’re calling it Marxism since communism has been tried by Russia and China and been totally discredited. However, I’m not defending irresponsible capitalism either. Wall Street that gambling casino in NY almost brought down our entire economy. Both parties are responsible for bringing this country down. It started with NAFTA and allowing international/American corporations that are too large to fail. Yes, our government has gotten too big, too inefficient, too corrupted by special interest, too expensive but that’s our fault. Unfortunately, I believe we need another party cause the two parties in power will not change. If we’re going to have capitalism than let’s go with Ron Paul…he’s the only true & honest capitalist running.. While I don’t agree with him on many things at least his smart, honest and understands that all these government hand outs to corporations, other countries, and wars is unsustainable.

          1. eh, not everyone should be eating so much animal. Of course, eskimos should probably not be eating so much plant.

        3. A team of international public health experts argued that…

          I wonder if they did so on the Internet.

  18. Everyone knows that you are just one more comment away from getting the other guy to admit that they are wrong and you are right. Your last comment just didn’t have a creative enough insult in it to give you the win. Now is cunt face one word or two?

    1. It’s one word, idiot. I can’t believe anyone could be so stupid. I hope you die in a fire.

      1. Well, personally, I go with cunt-face, and autocorrect let’s me get away with it. Since it’s hyphenated, I can’t remember if it’s considered one word or two.

        If only there were a website where pedants and grammar nazis posted constantly, then my question could get answered.

        1. There is: nationalsocialistenglishteachers.com

    2. No, you just have to keep commenting until the other guy gives up because he has to put his kids to bed or go to work or fuck his girlfriend or something. Then you win by default.

      At least that’s my strategy.

      1. How’s it working out for you, Commodore?

        1. As far as I know, I’m undefeated.

          1. You’re a winner! You must be waist-deep in chicks and cocaine.

            1. Waist-deep in chicks? Sure, if you’re a traditionalist.

              1. Oh, man. Fuck, that’s funny.

  19. In my defense I’m a dick in the real world, too.

  20. Question: if Hitler would be a blogger in this day and age, who would he blog for? I’m thinking Kos would be a perfect fit, but only because Balloon Juice doesn’t have as broad a readership.

    Guys?

    1. Hitler and the Nazis would have been masters of social media had it existed in the 1930s.

      1. So you’re saying HuffPo then?

        1. The Nazis would never have such awful website design.

      2. You know who else was a master of social media?

      3. Didn’t ron post and article about how the IQ of people in the 30s was so low that they were functionally retarded?

        Somehow i think being a master over a bunch of retards is a bit easier then being the master of non-retards.

        Also Someone needs to write a scifi about what would happen if a society of retards suddenly got social networks.

        1. The same Ron that buys the AGP Agitprop hook, line and sinker?

          And somebody did write it, only it’s not SciFi. It’s called MTV.

          1. AGP = AGW. Looks like I’m retarded too.

        2. “Someone needs to write a scifi about what would happen if a society of retards suddenly got social networks.”

          ummmm. You mean a documentary?

    2. He would have his own show on MSNBC

      1. I love the Nazis=liberals meme. Because we all know how well today’s liberals, roundly condemned by the right as reverse discriminating white-people hating military loathing internationalist, would have fit in with the Nazis….

        People on the right hated being called facists and Nazis for decades because many on the right seemed sympathetic to Hitler and/or just isolationist during the war effort, so they’ve concocted this Bizarro meme so they can have the satisfaction of calling their opponents Nazis. I hope its doing the work for ya.

        1. “People on the right hated being called facists and Nazis for decades because many on the right seemed sympathetic to Hitler and/or just isolationist during the war effort,”

          Except of for the fact that until Hitler invaded Russia, American Communists and leftists were isolationists as well and many American leftists were great admirers of Hitler and Mussolini’s economic programs. But hey, don’t let bourgeois facts get in the way of proper consciousness.

          1. Yeah, I have to agree with John on this one MiNGe. The central planning and paternalism is where I make comparisons between progressives* and the Nazis.

            *progressives =/= liberals, even though they have shanghai’d the name.

            1. “The central planning and paternalism is where I make comparisons between progressives* and the Nazis”

              Well, you can point to any one or two features of any two movements and equate them. I could point to Stalin’s strong anti-gay and anti-abortion stances and argue he was a right-winger…

              It makes more sense to me to look at what was more fundamental to the movements. Yes, the Nazi’s embraced central planning, but every government of all stripes was doing this, from FDR to Tory Churchill to Hitler. What set the Nazis apart was their extreme racialism, nationalism and militarism, and those are three things affiliated more with the right than the left of modern times.

              1. Good points all, MiNGe.

                I guess where you lose me is that I hate FDR as much as I hate Hitler because he did more to destroy liberty and self-reliance in America than Hitler could have dreamed of doing even if his Thousand Year Reich had conquered the whole of Europe.

                And Hitler was rabidly anti-gay, seeing as he rounded up the gays who were not party officials for experimentation. AFAIK, he was also a supporter of eugenics, a progressive standard at the time. Also, name me one world leader who was not prolife in the 30’s. I’m racking my brain and can’t come up with a single one.

                1. And Hitler was rabidly anti-gay, seeing as he rounded up the gays who were not party officials for experimentation.

                  The ones who survived were made party officials.

                2. “name me one world leader who was not prolife”

                  I don’t think that the single issue of abortion should determine whether one is pro-life or not. I don’t think that many major 20th century leaders could really be described as pro-life.

                  1. I was just pointing out the fallacy of MiNGe’s argument since the pro-choice stance hadn’t even come about in the 30’s. So saying Stalin was pro-life is silly at best and intentionally misleading at worst.

              2. I could point to Stalin’s strong anti-gay and anti-abortion stances and argue he was a right-winger…

                But you couldn’t argue that he was a libertarian.

                1. Yeah, he was in power. Definitely a deal killer when it comes to libertarian street cred

              3. What set the Nazis apart was their extreme racialism, nationalism and militarism…

                And this differed from our good buddy Uncle Joe Stalin, how, exactly?

              4. I don’t like the right anymore than I like the left but please to say that the Nazi’s were the only ones that were extreme racists, nationalist and malitarist is just plain nonsense..All imperilistict countries share those qualities including the USA.

          2. “American Communists and leftists were isolationists as well”

            This is you usual mistake, a massive conflation of “American Communists and leftists.” Was Harry Truman, for example, a Communist? He was surely a leftist.

            Stalinist communists in America did indeed shamelessly heed Stalin’s call to honor the pact between him and Hitler, but leftists of many stripes opposed Hitler from the get-go (think of the Lincoln brigades that went to fight the Nazis and Franco in Spain). It was the right with people like Lindbergh and the Liberty Lobby which became associated with isolationism and admiring Hitler a little too much. Many thought Hitler would wipe out the reds and that would be a good thing…Later, when the reds became our allies and we saw what Hitler was up to the Right had to walk back on that kind of talk for decades…

            1. “think of the Lincoln brigades that went to fight the Nazis and Franco in Spain”

              Sure lets think of them. They were not just fighting against fascists, they were fighting for STalinists who would have turned Spain into Cuba. Maybe you think that is something to be proud of. But I think you are in the minority on that.

            2. Once again, it wasn’t the Right who was talking about the fascist economic miracle in the 1930s. It was the left. A lot of people have blood on their hands over that.

              And further, if you are going to start throwing around historical guilt, lets talk about the American left and New left’s love affair and with communism. The left has never come to terms or apologized for that.

            3. I wouldn’t say there were a lot of Hitler supporters on either the right or the left in the run up to WW2. There were simply a lot of isolationists that didn’t want to get involved in another European conflict. This is especially true because the generation who fought WW1 were the bearers of the children who would have to fight WW2.

              Trying to label either the pre-WW2 left or the right as supportive of Hitler is historically inaccurate and serves no purpose other than to take an argument off the rails.

              Comparing the methods of debate and intimidation, as well as the overlying desire for a strong centrally run economy of progressives today is fair, as is the imperialism team red has shown, although team blue has jumped squarely on that bandwagon.

              1. Your worse than 10 Hitlers.

        2. In all seriousness, modern liberals are not fascists, although their political tactics can resemble that of fascists. But neither are modern conservatives. But liberals scream Nazi and have screamed such at every opportunity.

          Look, lots of people were nazis back in the day. Much of Europe collaborated with them. Far too few people stood on the right side of that fight.

          Liberals for years have ignored that and used the term as a way to slander their opponents and acted like no one on the left ever was anything but an anti-fascist. That is just wrong. And until liberals give up that deceit, they have no right to complain when it is hurled back at them.

          1. I’ll grant you that not enough people stood up to it, and leftists hurl the epithet around stupidly and carelessly.
            I just think it is silly to equate the two, it’s an obvious play to turn that careless use by the left back on them.

            One doesn’t need to concoct any fantastic ties between the left and the Nazis when they already have a past shamelessly ridden with not realizing and at times abetting the horrors of communism.

            1. One doesn’t need to concoct any fantastic ties between the left and the Nazis when they already have a past shamelessly ridden with not realizing and at times abetting the horrors of communism.

              MNGee, that’s sort of the rub of it. When you look at Soviet Russia and Nazi Germany, the only functional difference between the two were the languages and the uniforms. They were both in the business of conquering Europe/the world in the name of the “Chosen” people (Aryans and proletariat respectively) and slaughtering all foes, real or imagined (strangely enough, both considered Jews to be their enemies).

          2. About half of the American Left are outright Marxist or Incrementalist Socialists. Probably a quarter of the Right are what can only be called Fascist (as in Italian Fascism), but despite being a minority, they pretty much control the Republican Party.

        3. The left gets associated with Nazi’s because it’s a form of socialism, and socialism is the only thing that’s really important to the left. They may differ on the “Nationalist” part of National Socialism, but that split is similar to the split between Old Right non-interventionalists and Neocons.

        4. roundly condemned by the right as reverse discriminating white-people hating military loathing internationalist

          Can a libertarian condemn the left for different reasons then the “right”?

          I think so.

    3. He’d have his own talk show on MSNBC.

      “For tickets to see Hitler call 213-Du Werdest Eine Krankenschwester Brauchen!”

    4. Wouldn’t matter who he blogged for. Anything he wrote would be self-cancelling pursuant to Godwin.

      1. He could still blog, there just couldn’t be a comments section for obvious reasons.

        1. Hitler blogging from the Bunker would have been kick ass.

          1. “AAH – 45/4/6 – Eva’s really getting on my ass about this marriage BS. I got so fucking tired of it, I actually went and had a talk with Krebs about the Eastern Front. Looks like Steiner bailed, the fucker. If it wasn’t for the speed, I’d be freaking out.

            Later – Dammit, the Russians are shelling again, and Goebbels’ fucking kids are going to be crying. I am getting SO SICK of that shit. I’m gonna see what Krebs is up to. Later.”

            1. Ok you geniuses, I’m giving you this idea because I’m too lazy.. Build a Blog which is a spoof of historical figures blogging, ala Baked Penguin above. Kind of along the lines of the Onion.

              1. I could get behind this idea. We’d need a draft of some sort to determine who is who. I’m assuming Hitler would be the #1 overall.

                Wonder how the rest f the draft would go?

                Oh, and who we gonna get to set it up? I’m way to busy to set it up, but not too busy to incessantly blog nonsense.

                I nominate one of The Urkobold to carry the torch. But I think it should be twitter as well.

                1. How many Facebook friends would Hitler have?

                  1. 6 million?

                    1. Arbitrary number is arbitrary.

                    2. I think I should’ve worded that as “how many friends would Hitler have, *not* at gunpoint?”…

      2. Even going by the bastardized* form of Godwin’s Law, you are still allowed to compare Hitler to himself.

        Of course, I’m not even sure Godwin’s Law would exist if Hitler were from this era rather than the past. Maybe there would be a Godwin’s Law version about Stalin or Mussolini or Franco.

        * The original Godwin’s law only said that any discussion that went long enough would contain a comparison to Hitler. It didn’t have anything to do with “victory conditions” of arguments.

    5. I can’t see Hitler taking a backseat to anyone by writing for THEIR blog, frankly.

      1. How would he get a blog if he didn’t pander to the Jews? They run the worldwide media after all.

          1. Nahh Larry King poached the interview.

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPK1d5Fh0mE

    6. “I absolutely insist on protecting private property… we must encourage private initiative”.

      ~Adolph Hitler
      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economy_of_Nazi_Germany

      1. Adolf told a lot of lies. What’s your point?

        -jcr

        1. What’s your point?

          That by posting Wikipedia links I bolster my argument. For instance I posted a link that was supposed to be associated with the imminent destruction of the AGRICULTURAL CITY STATE but really linked to the history of the Hello Kitty phenomena in Japan in the 80’s

      2. “I love a sunny day.”
        -Adolph Hitler, June 8, 1935

        If you enjoy sunny days, you’re just like Hitler in every fashion, right WI?

        And did Hitler make your quote before or after he nationalized industry, thus eliminating private property rights for business owners?

  21. Scott Turow on the asshatery of most prosecutors. As a former prosecutor I can tell you this is where I got most cross ways with my bosses. I don’t think any case should be taken to trial unless you are yourself are convinced of the case. There shouldn’t be any “ah fuck go to trial and let the jury figure it out”. That is clearly a minority view.

    In practice, this means that even defendants who are probably innocent must endure the anguish of trial. I once represented a young man in a gang murder case who had been arrested and indicted along with eight other people, even though his name was never mentioned in the grand jury testimony. Although it seemed clear that the police had mistaken this young man for his brother, both the prosecutors and the judge told me to “put it on,” meaning go to trial; the client sat in court for several days, in jeopardy of a lengthy prison term, before the case against him was finally dismissed.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08……html?_r=1

  22. Serious question: would you rather be in a relationship (and yes, it includes sex) with a really hot blind chick or a really hot deaf chick?

    1. Deaf chick, hands down.

    2. And the deaf chick talks like Marlee Matlin.

      1. Now I know you stole this from Seinfeld.

        1. I forgot about that episode until I read your comment. That was the one where she was a tennis linesman, right?

          If anything, “Curb” may have subliminally influenced the question since she was on there.

          1. That’s one of them, I was also thinking of the episode where George is looking for a woman who doesn’t speak English. “The Old Man” iirc…also notable for having three guest stars who were also in STTNG episodes.

    3. Can you make that a really hot blind chick AND a really hot deaf chick, and can the really hot blind chick command the really hot deaf chick, in a really loud voice, to do something utterly depraved?

    4. A really hot mute chick.

    5. Blind chick. Unless you know sign, hard to communicate with the deaf chick.

      1. That’s the point: silence, blessed silence.

      2. And the deaf chick and still cook without burning down the house.

        1. Oops. replace “and” with “can”

    6. See, how recently blind are we talking about? Because, if it’s recent, and you get that enhanced senses thing going on, I feel it’s easy to give that chick the best orgasm of her life, and then she ain’t breaking up with you.

      1. Blind her whole life vs recently deaf and still trying to talk, hence the Marlee Matlin voice.

        The blind one seems like she’d be awfully high maintainence, but you could really dress her up to look ridiculous if she got shitty with you. As far as a deaf chick, you could tell your friends all the depraved shit you got her to do at full volume with her right there, as long as you slightly covered your mouth.

        I’m really having a hard time with this.

        1. I will take the one you reject. If she is deaf, I know a few universal signs she is sure to recognize, and if she is blind, she won’t he horrified by how hideous I look.

        2. See, I think blind chicks would, for some reason, be kinkier. Just a gut feeling. Also, with blind, you don’t have to worry about a cochlear implant fucking up the nice deal you’ve got going.

          1. Cock-lier implant – I see what you did there.

        3. The question you should be asking yourself at this point is, would you rather have a running back with a pulled hamstring or a bad ankle.

          Two weeks, dude.

          1. I’d be happy to just have a running back that’s gonna get more than 5 carries a game.

            And looking at your roster, you really need a kicker, Tulpa. I can help you out there.

            And great twisted Willy Wonka quote. I salute you.

          2. Would you rather have a blind running back or a deaf one? The answer is the same as to the question of the chicks.

        4. Where is Helen Keller when you need her?

    7. Is there a really hot chick with no sense of smell on the menu?

      PS, I think Seinfeld already did this.

      1. You’re confusing sense of smell for sense of taste, especially since only a woman with no taste would go out with you in the first place.

        /rimshot

    8. Can I have a really hot mute chick instead?

      Please, for the love of God, let her be a mute,

      1. Ok, fine. A mute is in. Only thing is, she’s mute because she was born without a tongue.

        1. Hmmm, the way we’re going, it looks like Terri Schiavo is going to wind up the perfect woman. I wonder what that says about us.

    9. Deaf chick. A blind chick is more likely to let herself go.

    10. Deaf chick, always had a thing for ’em…scared of the noises they might make in bed though…

  23. I think I am going to start a big argument about some controversial topic (abortion, maybe), and then slowly be “won over” by my opponent(s), and then finally agree that my original position was utterly wrong, just to completely astonish everyone that an internet argument can be “won”.

    1. I’ve changed my mind about things in a debate. Not because of insults, though, but because valid points were raised.

      After all, everyone knows that every internet argument is strictly about insults.

      1. No, it isn’t, you git!

  24. Okay; any doubts I may have had have been swept away. Randy Bernard is a fucking useless idiot.

    There might be one person out there who knows what I am referring to.

    1. He didn’t offer Danica money to stay, did he?

    2. Now I know what you’re talking about, now that I’ve had a chance to watch Sonomoa on my DVR.

      He’s more of an oozing, slimy douchebag than an idiot. Jebus, just say it, “Bryan screwed up and is on probation for the rest of the season, not Power.”

    3. You watch open-fucking-wheel racing?!?!? Jesus h christ on a cracker you’re un-American!

  25. http://pajamasmedia.com/lifest…..permarket/

    I can’t quite figure out why anyone cares that they play classic rock in grocery stores or that that is some kind of sign of the apocalypse.

    The thing that drives me nuts about conservative Alan Bloom types and their “low culture has destroyed high culture” thesis is that I often wonder if they even bother to listen to or understand the high culture they claim to be so in love with. My wife and I have been subscribers to the Opera four years running. I suppose opera is about as high art as it gets. And after watching about 20 of them now, I don’t see how anyone who loves them could not realize how mawkish and silly most of the plots are and how much of the music is bouncy and light and obviously written for a mass audience. They were pop songs of their day.

    And just who made these guys the final arbiters of what constitutes high culture? The more time passes the more 20th Century American ethnic music and its progeny is looking less and less like low culture. Already early and mid century jazz is considered high culture. In the 1920 Louis Armstrong was a low culture as it got. Now it is without question high culture. Who is to say that in another fifty years blues or classic rock won’t get the same distinction?

    We are now sixty years on from the first rock and roll record, eighty years from the first blues records, and a hundred years from the earliest jazz. Yet, these forms of music still appeal to millions of people. There must be something there.

    1. Opera rule: The chick always dies. Always.

      1. Kill the Wabbit, Kill the Wabbit.

        1. Da Babbaw of Saviwwe. Da Babbaw of Saviwwe.

    2. Props for using “mawkish”!

      1. Thanks. It is a good word isn’t it?

        1. Yes, it is, and for some reason it has fallen into disfavor in the last century, or so.

          1. The only reason it is out of favor is because people have become niggardly with it’s use.

            1. True dat. Racism spoils everything!

            2. I wish you were as niggardly with the aberrant apostrophes.

    3. It’s not (grand) opera, but I’ve always held Bach’s Coffee Cantata in high regard. At the time he wrote it, coffee was a new (and controversial) drug.

      I find this ironic, considering that Bach wrote such a huge corpus of sacred music. (In addition to less controversial “profane” works.)

      1. One of my favorite Bach pieces is the 30th variation of the Goldberg Variations. It is a quad, meaning it takes two melodies and harmonizes them into a single work. Both of the melodies are apparently pretty randy German drinking songs of the day. But remember, it is the end of civilization because pop music is so low brow now.

        1. I went to the Hollywood Bowl last Thursday and watched Rachmaninov’s Rhapsody On A Theme Of Paganini and Brahms Symphony #4. Yeah, there were some upper crust stiffs there, but the vast majority of people were just average folks enjoying good music that was written for the masses.

          1. Absolutely. And that is why no one listens to classical music produced in the last 50 years. At some point, they stopped making music that had melody and appealed to people at an emotional level. And people tuned out.

            1. I disagree, John. The problem with most classical music in the last half century is that it is usually written as a score for an epic film. If you had never seen Star Wars or LOTR, yet were exposed to the music, you would most likely appreciate it’s melody and continuity.

              Personally, I think classical music is enjoying a resurgence because of Hollywood, but the new stuff will be interpreted differently because it’s intended use is different.

              As far as opera goes, musical theatre has just gone in a different direction. It will return, as musical theatre tends to run in cyclical patterns, and has for at least 3 centuries.

              1. Stupid spoof loony tunes handle.

                1. Ooooooo I gumma hogtie that varmint!

              2. I agree with you Elmer. There has been a lot of great classical music produce for film. But, those writers are considered second class by critics and the keepers of so called “high culture”. People like Aaron Copeland were and are looked down upon. And people like Schoenberg are worshiped. You try to listen to Schoenberg sometime. It is crap. And the stuff you list and Copeland is brilliant. But try explaining that to the classical music establishment.

                1. Fuck the establishment. While they’re playing their neo-classical chamber shit to half filled halls, the theatre down the street is selling out a tribute to John Williams and the biggest concert halls across the globe are selling out LOTR Live.

                  At some point, there will be a sea change in this if the subsidization of “upper class” musicians is ended.

                2. The purpose of high culture is to make the people who appreciate it feel superior to those who don’t. That’s why people have to be trained to appreciate it, a process that I found incomprehensible when I first encountered wealthy culture.

                  1. So the hipster ethos for rich folk. Or should we say Richsters?

                    The ironically wear last year’s formal wear and drink (sorry, I’m not hoity-toity enough to know a real champagne) the champagne equivalent of PBR?

                    They are into obscure 18th century composers, telling their friends that they “used to be huge 100 years ago, but you probably haven’t heard of them”.

                    1. the champagne equivalent of PBR?

                      J. Roget Brut?

                    2. Cook’s. The finest sub-$5 champagne money can buy.

                  2. That’s why people have to be trained to appreciate it

                    Ive avoided wine courses for this very reason. Those who are untrained have an inverse correlation between price and quality.

                3. 12 tone music:

                  http://video.nytimes.com/video…..music.html

                  Try listening to Schoenberg’s Verkl?rte Nacht (not 12 tone). It’s brilliant, and very accessible.

                  http://classicalnotes.net/classics/verklarte.html

              3. There was a lot of music written for opera – the opera itself is forgotten, but some of the musical passages still get play. Eg, Hector Berlioz, The Judges of the Secret Court.

                1. [singing] The worst pies….in London!

          2. Yeah but Rachmaninov rocks

        2. John, props for mawkish.

    4. “I don’t see how anyone who loves them could not realize how mawkish and silly most of the plots are and how much of the music is bouncy and light and obviously written for a mass audience. They were pop songs of their day.”

      +1, I actually agree with something John said today…

      “conservative Alan Bloom types and their “low culture has destroyed high culture””

      Well, conservative has often been about, well, conserving the best of the past and being suspicious of modern trends. It want’s always like what movement conservatism has made it.

      1. I was with you for a while, but your last sentence is completely indecipherable. Could you translate it into English so we may understand what you were driving at?

        😉

        1. Yeah, that one was pretty bad. It should read “It wasn’t always what movement conservatism has made of it.”

          I’ve always found movement conservatism to be very odd. It’s like this strange mix of populist anger with some few traditionally conservative memes but with many once thought to be liberal ideas turned against the left (like turning free speech arguments against leftisms feints to pc policing, campaign restrictions, etc,). It’s a rootless movement imo.

          1. Thanks for clarifying. I was tired of looking for my decoder ring.

            I would disagree with your definition of movement conservatism, however. Only because it’s been corrupted by neocons to become something it was never intended to be. It’s the same way you probably bristle at how liberals get labeled today because progressives have co-opted the term.

          2. Free speech didn’t start with the (modern) left. Neither did free markets start with the right.

            Basically most of the ideals that both sides appeal to (at least in US politics) originated with classical liberalism, which is kind of strange since both liberals and conservatives hate it in practice.

            1. Which Team bitched about Citizens United the most, MNG?

              Hint: Ask Tony, the resident free-speech expert.

    5. Around here (Western PA bordering on Ohio) it’s more likely that some country station will be playing. Cripes I hate that pap. I’d rather listen to disco.

      1. Western PA bordering on Ohio

        AKA hell.

    6. Holy shit!

      I agree with you 100 percent. How did that happen?

    7. I suppose opera is about as high art as it gets.

      I initially read that as Oprah, and was absolutely perplexed.

    8. The reason it’s the apocalypse is the poor choice of rock. Not long ago I was in a checkout line at a supermarket and REO fucking Speedwagon comes on, and my heart just dropped because here is this poor young teenage cashier who has to be subjected to this crap looping over and over. It’s a national tragedy that music like that doesn’t just get flushed down the memory hole, instead of inflicted on a new generation.

      1. Try a Muzak version of “Hell’s Bells”.

        If I were Bon Scott, I’d find a way to come back from the dead so I could kill whoever did that.

  26. At the conclusion of the pre-race prayer, a brief period of silence was observed, broken by scattered murmurings of, “What the fuck?”

    1. I know his steward fucked up a restart. Did you see his response?

      I’ll look down thread about twenty comments to see your response in a bit.

  27. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..r_embedded

    If the coming class war includes the chance to shoot these douchebags, let’s get it on.

    1. As usual, they have no idea what war actually is or else they’d realize that their team would have no chance in one.

      1. They are used to being around sympathetic and compliant liberals. They really have no idea what it is like to take on someone who would fight back.

    2. I’m not worried too much about people who are so stupid they can’t grasp that communism and anarchy are mutually exclusive concepts. Hi, we’re the NAACP branch of the KKK. I mean seriously. They’re too stupid to figure out how to reload their weapons.

      1. These dipshits likely don’t own any weapons to begin with; the best they could come up with on short notice would be Molotov cocktails. And then they’d likely fuck it up by using plastic bottles.

      2. I’m not worried too much about people who are so stupid they can’t grasp that Privation Property and the Non-Aggression Principle are mutually exclusive concepts. Hi, we’re the NAACP branch of the KKK. I mean seriously. They’re too stupid to figure out how to fight their way out of a wet paper sack.

        1. I’m not too worried about people who believe in mass self-extinction and -isolationism solving all of the world’s problems. Hi, we’re from the People’s Temple branch of Heaven’s Gate. I mean seriously. They’re too stupid to figure out how to use a wheel or plant a seed.

    3. They ignorant-ass mistake they continuously make is calling it a class war. The dipshit yelling at the camera may very well make 4 times as much as his average opponent.

      It’s an ideology war, not a class war.

      1. Fuck. they = the.

        1. Correct spelling is a categorical imperative!

          1. The Ed Schultzes and other assorted vermin are going to convince left-wingers to replicate what happened in Great Britain just recently, and for the same reasons the yobs gave for looting and destroying property.

            And they’re gonna blame “budget cuts”, to boot.

            Fuck that shit.

    4. http://www.redanarchist.org/te…..neism.html

      Specifically, the hostile trends that we have witnessed within the anarchist movement have been elitism, white & male dominance … This is not to say that we are addressing sceneism as the only problem in today’s movement, but a specific one that so far very few organizations, especially informal affinity groups, have managed to combat effectively. Furthermore, sceneism must be confronted as yet another system of domination: a bourgeois-spectacular social relation operating within the anti-authoritarian movement; one that we must dismantle.

      Marx predicted that any future post-capitalist society would inevitably have to bear the scars of the bourgeois culture from which it rose. We can see this process in effect by observing how it is nearly impossible for any expression of human creativity or joy … to take shape without reproducing in itself some form of oppressive power structure.

      Is it possible for a movement to go so far up its own ass that it disappears?

  28. Holy fuck. Obama’s on TV right now claiming credit for the lack of damage from Tropical Storm Irene. And he’s saying how difficult the recovery is going to be over the next several months. Months!

    And he’s having Napolitano coordinate the response. And he just said what a great job governments did so far. Then he referred to “ordinary Americans” following the instructions of those in government.

    What a fucking piece of shit.

    1. This is going to be the new rationale he tries to use to justify hundreds of billions of dollars more in “stimulus”.

      1. NBCNews said a few minutes ago that the estimated damage is between $6-7 Billion dollars.

        How the fuck do they have a damage estimate already? Or are they just parroting the numbers FEMA gave them?

        1. There are estimates for damage in the Carribbean already, maybe that’s what they’re talking about.

          Of course, when your margin of error is 1/3 of the estimate, it’s not like you need to be terribly precise.

          1. No. Williams was saying the estimated damage in the US, and went on to talk about power outages in NJ, NY and CT.

            There’s just no way to estimate something that is still ongoing. They are just parroting the scare-mongering from the WH.

            1. Maybe they’re talking about property “destroyed or unsaved”.

              1. + lazy 8

    2. Wait, how did he come up with a hurricane speech so quickly? It was supposed to take him a month to come up with the economy-saving speech in September.

      You know, I’m beginning to wonder if he’s really working on saving the economy or if he’s just stalling.

  29. Hurr durr, WE NEED TO GOES DERPER!!!1!

  30. I got trolled with one man one jar recently.

  31. So the point of the flowchart was that Jesse Walker is Hitler times ten?

    1. See you have to understand JB, if you want the government to leave people alone and not take their money or try to take care of them, you are just like a guy who militarized an entire society in support of his sick goals and set up a totalitarian state that killed millions.

  32. I am resisting so hard the urge to blow my load early and post a blog post from Feministing called “The Feminine mistake of blogging unsustainable” bitching about how they aren’t making money from their noble blogging and have to hold down day jobs!

    1. Unsustainable? As far as I can tell, the whining and bitch has no limits.

      1. supposed to be “bitching”.

        1. We will never reach “Peak Bitching.”

        2. Thanks for the correction. For a second, I thought you were talking about my ex.

          1. Are you serious???

    2. Don’t they know the only way to make money from man-hating is to land a tenured professorship at a state university?

      -jcr

  33. The US just won the LLWS. Would the headline “Little Boy Bombs Japan Out Of LLWS Championship” be inappropriate?

    1. Fat Japanese man explodes in anger!

    2. Sounds like an Onion piece.

    3. Not only would it be inappropriate, you would automatically win all threads for the rest of 2011.

      1. Then I humbly accept my award.

        I want to thank the academy of trolls, the troll writers guild and The Urkobold for being pioneers in trolling. I would also like to thank the good men and women of Los Alamos and Oak Ridge, whose hard work and dedication ended in a lulzy Internet comment. Oh, and last but not least, I want to thank God for allowing us to punish those shifty yellow bastards over and over with inappropriate humor based on their inability to drink liquor, drive a car or survive an atomic bomb.

        Thank you all, peace out.

        [drops microphone on floor – lights cigarette]

    4. Over 900 internets to you, sir.

    5. Should have called them “Fat Boys”.

      B-

      1. Oh wait never mind…you got it right.

  34. Gore: Global warming skeptics are this generation’s racists

    http://dailycaller.com/2011/08…..s-racists/

    This explains that black man giving me the stink eye as I remarked on what a lazy summer day we’re having.

    1. Hahahaha. [catches breath]. Hahahahaha.

    2. “I remember, again going back to my early years in the South, when the Civil Rights revolution was unfolding, there were two things that really made an impression on me,” Gore said. “My generation watched Bull Connor turning the hose on civil rights demonstrators and we went, ‘Whoa! How gross and evil is that?’ My generation asked old people, ‘Explain to me again why it is okay to discriminate against people because their skin color is different?’ And when they couldn’t really answer that question with integrity, the change really started.”

      From Wiki:

      Eugene Connor was member of the Alabama Ku Klux Klan in the 1920’s. Connor entered politics as a Democrat in 1934, winning a seat in the Alabama Legislature. As a legislator he supported populist measures and pro-union issues.

      Yup the evil man was a progressive pro-union Democrat….Al would have no problem getting that Democrat soldier to step in line to support global warming.

      1. Bull Connor was 51 when Al Gore was born. When did Gore ask these questions, just a few years before he got his driver’s license?

        1. He asked the questions about the same time Hillary was being named after Sir Edmund, but years before Gore was the inspiration for Erich Segal’s Love Story.

  35. Study Finds That Climate Change Causes Wars
    http://inhabitat.com/study-fin…..ause-wars/

    1. Not surprising.
      When welfare is a tough sell since it’s hard to starve in the West, why it’s recast as ‘keeping those kids from stealing from you’; a protection racket.
      Now the catastrophists have to re-brand their BS.

  36. We are sorry, humans, but we cannot allow you to spread your planet-destroying CO2 emissions to other worlds in your system like Mars and Venus.

    ::ZAP::

    1. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for the rest!

  37. This chart is obviously the work of Big Sandwich.

    1. I blame Giant Douche.

  38. Are you suffering from Back to School Affluenza?

  39. Ok, Brees has played enough tonight. Getnhim out of the game before a Raiders fan pulls out his gun.

    Oh, man. Tulpa is fucked in 14 days.

  40. If you make a comment on work hours you are a loser who steals from his employer.
    If you comment on your own time you are a loser who cannot get attention from normal human interaction.

    Holy shit I’m a loser.

    1. I post on both my own time and on the company dime…from an iPad. Top that for loserdom!

      1. Could be worse — an HP Touchpad you paid full price for.

      2. Oh, you’re good – you’re very, very good.

        But some days I post at work ALL DAY, while my people work away (cause I’m Teh Evul Manajment), and then come home and watch teh pron all night on my own time.

        So I’m a Monocle-Wearing, Masturbating Management Monster.

        Fuck I’m a loser…

        1. If that’s losing, I don’t wanna be a winner…

    2. What if the Kochs are paying me to comment?

      1. You’re a Kochmenter?

  41. All your comments are an idiot.

  42. Fuck Vettel won again? I haven’t watched the race yet.

    1. It’s like a recurring nightmare, isn’t it?

      Hey, in a couple years it’ll be someone else. Remember when Schumacher (what was he, 7th or something today) couldn’t lose?

      1. FakeVettel on Twitter is so funny and uses the same English Germans use, it may be the real Vettel.

    2. Yeah, he’s on pole, ze suspense, eets killing me. Pretty much, if he doesn’t start on pole, he doesn’t even podium.

      And they can’t show Button’s very cute GF enough. That is all.

  43. This is one of the Top 10 Threads Ever since I first checked out H&R a few years ago.

    I had tears running down my cheeks.

    *claps for Jesse Walker – BRAVO, BRAVO!*

    1. This thread is an argument both for and against weekend open threads.

      Jesse should be proud.

      1. Why cant we get beter troles?!

  44. If only Herc had posted it could have been #1

  45. From the comments section of the angry professor’s post about how libertarians hate NOAA:

    nigelTheBold, Porcupine Trainer says:
    28 August 2011 at 8:12 am

    Audley Z. Darkheart:

    So, let me get this straight? these assholes want this potentially life-saving information be available to only those who can afford to pay for it?

    *spits*

    Fuck you, libertarians.

    Yeah. ’cause if it can’t be controlled by an individual ? or a very small group, in the case of a corporation ? it just ain’t worth it.

    Next up: privatizing air!

    There is no upper bound of human stupidity. Also, it is so much easier to argue with the libertarians (or liberals, or Republicans) that live inside one’s head than it is to seek out real people who say actual words.

    Also, that blog must be named ironically. Its actual name should probably be “you are free to think as I dictate, or get the fuck out of my echo chamber.”

    This man is a professor. Maybe he had to act this way to fit in enough to get tenure, and he couldn’t let it go.

  46. Everyone in the world is an ignorant asshole, except those who form a blog-commenting collective. Then everyone else is an ignorant asshole.

  47. Is this a sign of the impending dickpocolypse?

  48. The comic was marginally funny. One gets the impression, though, that it was created by someone who spends a lot of time arguing on the internet. NTTAWWT.

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