Reason Lunchtime Links: Jobless Claims Up, L.A. Fires S&P, Tobacco Industry Sues FDA

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  • Jobless claims rise by 9,000. Obama says he has a jobs plan. 
  • Morgan Stanley warns the U.S. is now "dangerously close" to another recession.
  • The city of Los Angeles fires credit rating agency Standard & Poors from one of its contracts. The Justice Department, meanwhile, is investigating S&P's pre-financial crisis mortgage security ratings. 
  • Christine O'Donnell doesn't like Piers Morgan's questions about gay marriage, walks out on interview. 
  • Texas Gov. Rick Perry now says his executive order mandating a cervical cancer vaccination for sixth-grade girls was a mistake. 
  • Big tobacco sues the FDA over graphic new warning label requirements. 
  • The GOP's presidential candidates are not fond of the EPA. 
  • DARPA plans to grant $500,000 in "seed money" to study the feasibility of sending humans to another starsytem. 

The latest from Reason.tv: Bob Bowden, director of The Cartel, on what's next for school choice and new media:

NEXT: Obama's Green Jobs Failures

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  1. ahhhhhhhhhhhh

    1. When is Christine O’Donnell going to do a playboy spread? I really want to have sex with her.

      1. and a playboy spread will somehow allow this to happen?

        Can’t you just paste her picture over another… nevermind.

  2. Suder-man to the rescue!

      1. We make the puppets dance!

        1. PWN’D!

      2. You’re a Bene Gesserit witch?

        1. Not sure how I feel about this line of questioning.

          1. Are we gonna have to break out the Ghom Jabbar?

          2. “We exist only to serve” is the Bene Gesserit motto.

          3. Dune — you must be conversant in a wide range of SciFi to fit into the H&R comments.

            1. Oh I know Dune. I was (am?) a reasonably serious sci-fi geek. I just wasn’t sure how I felt about being called a Bene Gesserit witch.

              1. There are worse things. And they did admit a few guys, now and again.

              2. ok . . you pass the test 😉

        2. Can Bene Gesserit get sexual reassignment?

  3. FINALLY!!!

  4. Hey anyone wanna spend the weekend with me starving on the savannah and getting chased by lions? There’s plenty of grass and dirt to eat.

    1. Yeah, sure. I’ll go. But you go on ahead first. I’ll meet you out there when I finish with some errands.

    2. Shit, no. There’s sasquatches out on the savannah.

      I’m staying in the (city-state) where it’s safe.

      1. there’s a sasquatch in the cube next to mine…

        1. STEVE SMITH HATE WORK IN CUBICLE! TOO SMALL, AND MAKE RAPE SO IMPERSONAL! STEVE PREFER BREAK ROOM OR BATHROOM!

          1. STEVE SMITH HOST RAPE DEMO IN CONFERENCE ROOM AT 3PM. ALL EMPLOYEES ENCOURAGED TO ATTEND.

            1. Hey, how come I never got the original email, yet KMW just forwarded it to me?

              1. IT DEPARTMENT HATE STEVE SMITH!

                1. So that’s why there’s no option to attend via video conference!

                  1. RAPE DEMO SUCCESS!!! BEGIN ROLL OUT TO CUSTOMERS IN 1ST QUARTER OF NEXT YEAR!!!

          2. Steve, we’ve told you about rape during working hours. Don’t make me send you to sensitivity training again.

          3. “OR BATHROOM!”

            So you’re gay then.

            NTTAWWT

            1. WIDE STANCE INHERENT TO STEVE’S KIND

            2. STEVE OMNISEXUAL! INTERESTED IN DINNER AND RAPE, PIP? STEVE HAVE AFTERNOON FREE! YOU LIKE HIKING?

              1. Perhaps like the young Lou Reed, he is tri-sexual. He’ll try to fuck anything.

    3. Sounds fun! Let’s have a race — whoever gets giardiasis first wins!

    4. Will there be fleas?!

  5. canceling subscription, better with postrel, yadda yadda yadda.

  6. The mob has spoken!

  7. Texas Gov. Rick Perry now says believes getting called out on his executive order mandating a cervical cancer vaccination for sixth-grade girls was a mistake really sucked.

    1. You beat me to it, RC. Perry’s a s craven a political panderer as Clinton ever was.

      Which, as I’ve remarked before, means it’s possible to beat some sense into him.

    2. Eh. I have a hard time with these. Do we really want to browbeat our pols when they come around to the right opinion (for whatever reason)? If we don’t cut them a little slack, then they just get more and more ideologically rigid about sticking to their positions, no matter how wrong.

      1. That depends on whether or not you believe they’ve really come to the right decision or if they’re just pandering.

        If we cut them slack every time, but they keep doing it wrong, then it starts to resemble something like battered wife syndrome.

      2. Dammit Brett, this isn’t about sex, it’s about trust.

    3. Wait a minute… Rick Perry is for sixth-grade girls getting cervical cancer now? Big Vaccine is not going to be very happy about this.

  8. Lunchtime links? Does that mean it’s okay to drink?

    LEAVE RON PAUL ALONE!!!

    1. “For a pack of smokes and a bottle of Thunderbird, I’m sure they can find the incentive to defend liberty much more competently than those two.”
      I’m available.

  9. Sending humans to another star system? I’m all for that, but shouldn’t we, you know, be able to leave LEO first? Or, for that matter, even get there?

    1. How else will we get the Unobtainium that we need. Hopefully no blue aliens with weird ideas will get in our way.

      1. It’s a proven fact that any planet containing an element that leads to a new golden age of civilization for mankind will be inhabited by creatures that are at one with their planet. It is also proven that the only way to extract said element is through complete destruction of the current indigenous population.

        In short, the only elements that lead to a golden age can only be obtained through the destruction of another race.

        1. As Libertarians, we’re okay with this, right? Pick Golden Age every time. Daddy needs a new unobtainium (an in joke that was funny 20 years ago and grown rapidly stale) monocle!

        2. but this time, we’ll nuke ’em from orbit. Or use missiles/drones instead of close combat.

          Technology, how does it work again?

        3. Careful, this sort of talk might summon White Indian.

    2. This funding is just for kicking off a 100 year or so study on interstellar flight. Hopefully, DARPA has also figured out a way to fund itself through a true global economic collapse.

    3. I still think we need to clone Sasha Grey first.

      1. Why don’t you just buy the original? Her Entourage gig won’t run forever.

        1. I think he’s betting on the copies being cheaper.

        2. How many monocles do you think that’ll run me?

        3. hotdog…hallway

          1. And that’s anal.

      2. And don’t let the new one lick toilet seats and drink milk enemas. Blech.

  10. Morgan Stanley warns the U.S. is now “dangerously close” to another recession.

    With non-recessions like these who needs recessions?

    1. Recession? Jobless claims rise by 9,000?

      Time for another speech!

      *AHEM*

    2. Jobless recovery!1!!!!!1

      1. No, that only happened under BOOSH!

    3. I wish Murray was around to explain why, when the LP was founded, the country had stagflation (high interest rates, no growth) and now we have no/low interest rates and no growth.
      Is growth unrelated to interest rates?

      1. You might remember that Voelker’s solution to stagflation was to raise interest rates.

  11. SF,

    Note the lack of a reference to the Day of the Commenters. I think they’re still bitter about us having that much freedom. Strange for a supposedly libertarian site. Free markets and free HTML indeed.

    1. Remember, this is Troll Free Thursday. Pass it on.

      1. I suspect Troll-Free Thursday will be a lot like Friday Funnies in that only one of the words in the phrase is actually true.

        1. Hopefully that word is “free”.

      2. Not to be confused with Free Troll Fridays…

        1. That’s Saturday, when she can go use the library computer instead of her smartphone.

          1. Are you postulating a unitary trollemony? In other words, that there aren’t many trolls, just one?

      3. SWAT team standoff in New Port Richey ends peacefully

        Barbara Hall was awakened at 1 a.m. Friday by her husband’s screams.

        Robert Hall, 72, was shouting for her to call 911 because he was locked in a bedroom at their home at 6276 Spoonbill Drive, according to the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office.

        Mrs. Hall, 71, told investigators she got a screwdriver and unlocked the door. When she opened it, her husband fired his 9mm handgun at her several times, a report states. She ran away, uninjured.

        That began a standoff with police as Mr. Hall barricaded himself inside the home and threatened to shoot anyone who came inside, authorities said. The Sheriff’s Office called in a SWAT team and blocked off access to the Sea Forest neighborhood, though no neighbors were evacuated.

        Just after 5 a.m., Hall was persuaded to come outside and the ordeal ended without injuries.

        Nothing else happened.

        http://www.tampabay.com/news/p…..ly/1183117

        1. Good thing they sent a SWAT team to manage a standoff with a septugenarian. Regular cops could never have handled it!

          1. If regular cops couldn’t handle one old man with a gin, then what’s the point of them? Can’t we just declare whole lot of departments as highway patrol and fire half of the staff? It’s essentially all they are nowadays anyway.

        2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

          1. Episiarch|8.18.11 @ 11:10AM
            Remember, this is Troll Free Thursday. Pass it on.

            1. How’s that smartphone data plan working out for you?

        3. “Nothing else happened” because the cops don’t go kicking down doors and launching flash grenades when they know there’s an armed gunman in the house. If the guy was harmless, they would’ve stormed the front door and shot up the place.

          1. ^this^ Not only did they know there was an armed gunman in the house, they knew he was ready for a fight.

          2. I certainly don’t want to disparage anyone’s courage, but I’ve noticed the same thing. When the perp is known armed and dangerous, there’s a lot less door-kickin’ and dog shootin’ and a lot more hanging around waiting for them to give up.

    2. So sad I missed that day.

  12. Morgan Stanley warns the U.S. is now “dangerously close” to another recession.

    Another recession? Have we somehow left the depression we’re in at this point?

    The city of Los Angeles fires credit rating agency Standard & Poors from one of its contracts. The Justice Department, meanwhile, is investigating S&P’s pre-financial crisis mortgage security ratings.

    And the thuggery begins. Give us a bad rating?!? We’ll just intimidate you, and possibly prosecute you; after all, there’s so many crimes on the book, you have to have committed some.

    1. Begins? This is what they have been doing for two years. They are just the Chicago outfit.

      1. Well, we borrowed $2.1T last year against future growth to “grow” GDP last year.

    2. Their history of overestimating creditworthiness means they must be underestimating the credit of the US government. Duh.

    3. Have we somehow left the depression we’re in at this point?

      Of course not. The idea that the economy is good if it the growth rate is above zero is just a pile of typical government bullcrap. Even the original Great Depression had occasional periods of positive GDP growth.

    4. Banana. Republic.

      1. I see what you are getting at, but who is growing the bananas? I think that the defining feature of a banana republic is some outside force (government or corporate)essentially taking over the country to shape policy to suit their specific needs.

        1. not 100% spot-on, but the description is close enough for government work.
          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_republic

          “A banana republic is a commercial enterprise for profit by collusion between the State and favoured monopolies, whereby the profits derived from private exploitation of public lands is private property, and the debts incurred are public responsibility. Such an imbalanced economy reduces the national currency to devalued paper-money, hence, the country is ineligible for international development credit and remains limited by the uneven economic development of town and country. Kleptocracy, government by thieves, features influential government employees exploiting their posts for personal gain (embezzlement, fraud, bribery, etc.), with the resultant deficit repaid by the native working people who “earn money”, rather than “make money”. Because of foreign (corporate) manipulation, the government is unaccountable to its nation, the country’s private sector?public sector corruption operates the banana republic, thus, the national legislature usually are for sale, and function mostly as ceremonial government.”

    5. And the thuggery begins. Give us a bad rating?!? We’ll just intimidate you, and possibly prosecute you; after all, there’s so many crimes on the book, you have to have committed some.

      To be somewhat fair, this investigation has been going on for a while–in the grand fascism/socialism tradition, a government agency dragged its feet on doing its job until the entity it was investigating began shitting in their particular punchbowl. Now that S&P is The New Left-Wing Bugaboo, it’s time to make the investigation public.

  13. Christine O’Donnell doesn’t like Piers Morgans’s questions about gay marriage, walks out on interview.

    She quickly realized she was the last person watching Piers Morgan. Hopefully, Piers didn’t make the same mistake by reading her book.

    1. He can just air her tapped phone recordings in lieu of the rest of the interview.

    2. From the way the article reads it seems more like she objected to him bringing up the silly witchcraft thing yet again. The article does not describe at all what the gay “marriage” questions were or how she did not like them.

  14. DARPA plans to grant $500,000 in “seed money” to study the feasibility of sending humans to another starsytem.

    Revive Project Orion!!

    1. REGULATE ALPHA CENTAURI!

      1. THIS IS CETI APLHA FIVE!!!

        1. Dammit, missed it by one minute (and two exclamation points.)

        1. I’ve done far worse than kill you, FoE. I’ve hurt you, by getting to the quote first. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her; marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead thread…buried alive! Buried alive!

          1. I don’t know whether to be turned on by this or not…

    2. YES!!!! PRINT!!!! STIMULATE!!!!

      Where are our destructive alien benefactors?

  15. Great, DARPA cracks the earth open with their earthquake machine and are looking to get out while the rest of us are left holding the bag.

    1. Well if the new LHC would just create a runaway black hole we could get our farcaster web started and get out of here.

      1. That would be so cool. The Shrike doesn’t come for quite some time, so we’d be living large!

        1. Maybe you should note that rectal’s “disappearance” and shriek’s absence are exactly concurrent.

          1. You think they eloped?

            That wedding night video ought to be at least as watchable as A-Rod and Madonna’s.

            1. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

            2. Can you elope with yourself?

              1. Yes

                (fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap, fap)

        2. The Shrike and the Steel Tree remain one of my favorite nightmare images. The first Hyperion book was stone-cold awesome, the second was pretty good. The third, meh.

          1. Agreed. I don’t hate the last two books, but they’re mere shadows of the first two.

          2. IMO the second was the best. I just wasn’t into the whole tied together collection of short stories that was the first book. I liked the idea behind the two Endymion books but I think they could have been better also.

          3. I really liked the entire quadrology but the first two books are the best. The Anea/Raul love story thing got me a bit emotional at the end.

        3. For the ability to move instantly across the galaxy I think I’d be OK with the robots using a little bit of my brain’s processing power.

  16. Weezer covers the Muppets.

    Also, how big a hangover did Riggs have this morning?

    1. Is that about Sad Kermit? Because Sad Kermit rocks.

  17. Obamanoid calls Paul Krugman a dirty fire-bagger. Whatever in the hell that means. Srsly, Jane Hamsher is the Trotsky of the current Progressive movement?

    1. She is a nutso liberal. But she is not completely brain dead and at least has some principles and internal consistency to her views even if they are wrong. That puts her about the rest of them by a long shot.

      1. IIRC, Hamsher was one of the few known lefty pundits that was openly and vocally crapping all over Obamacare, while the other milquetoasts were working 24/7 as apologists for whatever piece of garbage Pelosi and company could come up with next.

  18. Suder-Man turns off the dark!
    I actually saw that show on Broadway last week — and was completely underwhelmed. What the fuck, Bono?

    1. Cha-ching! None for Africa though…

  19. WHNR — All Morning Links, All The Time.

  20. Chavez moves to nationalize Venezuelan gold production.

    http://online.wsj.com/article/…..TSecondNew

    1. Speaking on state television via telephone, Mr. Ch?vez said he would introduce a new decree in the coming days to put exploration and extraction of gold into the government’s hands. It will be “a decree to take the gold sector,” which still remains in the hands of a “mafia and smugglers,”…

      Well, if anyone is qualified to show the mafia just what amateurs they really are…

      1. Speaking on state television via telephone

        “Yes, Mr Chaves, you look into this end and the people will see you.” *Snicker* “omg, he’s doing it!” *full blown laughter*

  21. Found without any context. The world according to someone funny. SFW

    1. “Jesus and Meth” sounds like a great band name.

      1. Drunks and Nothing

  22. a reference to the Day of the Commenters.

    “The peasants are revolting!”

    Happy now?

    1. I love my people!

    2. The chickens are revolting!

      1. Just put more gravy on.

    3. Well, of course they’re revolting…

  23. Have we had lunch in Libya yet?

  24. Most people approve of their local public schools while thinking education as a whole is declining.

    Local school approval is the highest in 36 years. People are really getting dumber these days.

    1. My cheerleading coach is awesome!

    2. And “most people” would be wrong in the vast majority of cases.

  25. I can get used to this ML timing. I AM RELEVANT! …. ….

    I’m a real boy!

    1. Ohh and a link so I can be participatory

      Steve Smith’s pet was captured.

  26. Mostly ?

    “‘I’m promoting the policies that I laid out in the book that are mostly fiscal, that are mostly constitutional,” she said.”

    1. That’s one standard of review. There’s also the rational relation test, where the law in question has to have a rational relation, however vague, to some sort of constitutional power. Then there’s the strict scrutiny test, where the courts strictly scrutinize anything ever written to justify a completely unconstitutional act.

      There are other standards, depending on the type of power or right involved. For instance, in obscenity cases, there’s the Miller test, which states that something is obscene if and only if it offends you after drinking a six-pack of Miller beer.

      1. Or you read about on Reason.com

      2. What if you find drinking a six-pack of Miller offensive?

        1. You’ll never get past the confirmation hearings for the federal bench if you aren’t willing to drink Miller.

  27. http://dailycaller.com/2011/08…..no-hippie/

    Krugnuts no hippie.

    1. with a bit of bearded-professor bashing on the side.

      I’m confused. Can we punch Krugman now?

    2. No true hippie would ever….

      1. Leave me out of this!

    3. There was this comment on Kugnut’s original post:
      Spot on, Paul Krugman!
      (BTW, Sir – I’ve always harbored a fantasy of you at Treasury…but perhaps we should aim higher?)
      Keep it up – this “hippie” loves you. Thanks!

      I tried to Report it as Inappropriate, but there was no option for “Makes me gag.”

  28. US, allies demand Assad exit in Syria

    “His calls for dialogue and reform have rung hollow while he is imprisoning, torturing, and slaughtering his own people,” Obama said. “We have consistently said that President Assad must lead a democratic transition or get out of the way. He has not led. For the sake of the Syrian people, the time has come for President Assad to step aside.”

    […]

    U.S. officials acknowledged the move is not likely to have any immediate impact on the Syrian regime’s behavior. But they said it would send a powerful signal that Assad is no longer welcome in the international community.

    Stop killing people or we won’t like you anymore!

    Why doesn’t BO just go to Damascus and make a speech? That fixes everything else.

    1. So, does this mean that Obama is going for a record for most wars fought at once? Damn, giving him that Peace Prize was damned prescient, wasn’t it?

      1. Technically it’s “most kinetic military actions led from behind” but I like your idea.

        1. I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that historians–clearly with axes to grind–will unfairly call such actions warfare when looking back at this era.

          1. Hogwash.

            Obama’s presidency, even if only 1 term, will be described by historians as a time during which even a man as smart and educated The One could not repair the damage done by the boogie man.

        2. Let me be clear: no kinetic military action will be left behind.

    2. “His calls for dialogue and reform have rung hollow while he is imprisoning, torturing, and slaughtering his own people”

      Huh. Between the Wars on Terror and Drugs, the same could be said about you, Big O

    3. “My calls for dialogue and reform have rung hollow while I am imprisoning, torturing, and slaughtering my own people,” Obama said.

      1. which Chinny already covered.

        Scrolling down, how does it work.

  29. For the military clean energy saves lives By Steve Hargreaves CNNMoneyTech August 17, 2011: 2:40 PM ET
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — One out of eight U.S. Army casualties in Iraq was the result of protecting fuel convoys.

    This statistic, derived from an Army study looking at fuel convoys in Iraq from 2003 to 2007, is a powerful incentive for the military to move away from oil and toward renewable energy, and that’s exactly what it’s doing.

    From experimental solar-powered desert bases for the Marines to Navy robots that run on wave energy, the military is quickly becoming a leading buyer of cutting-edge renewable energy technology.

    For the armed services, the benefits extend beyond reducing fuel convoy casualties. A fighting force that isn’t restricted by the reach of a tanker truck or weighted down by heavy batteries is more nimble and, as a result, more lethal.

    For renewable energy companies, the military is proving to be a vital customer, buying the latest in clean energy gadgets and encouraging private investment. The hope is the armed services can shepherd this technology to the point where it becomes commercially viable, much like it did a generation ago for GPS systems or the Internet.

    http://money.cnn.com/2011/08/1…../index.htm

    1. Luckily, solar cells teleport into place requiring no convoys, and need no maintenance or parts.

      1. Oh, and I forgot to mention they don’t need “heavy batteries” to store energy for night use either.

      2. Oh, and solar panels wouldn’t make easy targets for enemy combatants with flerking BB guns either.

        1. WHat if we invade the sun? What then Mr. Snarky?

          1. Obama should lead the charge.

            1. tulpa – civilian snark is renewable energy but hardly useful in battle.

            2. BUT THE CORPORATIONS AND STUFF! OIL! HALLIBURTON! DICK CHENEY! BIG BUSINESS! CHRISTFAGS!

              1. all of whom luv the military

    2. No shit. If super green vehicles are possible it will be the military that develops them.

      1. I can’t wait to see President Chelsea Clinton driving around in a solar-powered tank.

      2. I predict this will never happen.

        Only gasoline or diesel can generate the torque needed to move an armored vehicle.

        We’ll completely eliminate the human soldier and have solar-powered remotely controlled combat drones that look like Transformers before we find a way to run tanks on the sun.

        1. What if they had huge batteries and needed 200 hours of sunlight to run for an hour?

          1. Then we better all buy Rosetta Stone and learn to speak Chinese.

  30. Uh, hey, everybody! I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt

    1. Hey, that’s Matt Damon!

    2. I hope that dude gets some help while he’s doing time. Jeebus.

  31. Holy shit, gold is rocketing into the stratosphere. 1822/oz right now.

    1. Perhaps DARPA can use it for fuel.

      1. just strap on a payload and watch it go.

    2. Gold will get to the stars before DARPA.

      1. Technically, gold came from the stars, just like everything else besides hydrogen…

        1. That’s not entirely correct. The Big Bang gave us hydrogen, helium, lithium, and beryllium. Stars made a bunch of other elements, then supernovae gave us most of the rest.

          1. According to some current theories, anyway.

            1. My theory: No stupid people read this blog.

              1. No. Stupid people read this blog, they just don’t understand it.

                1. Don’t tell them that! Then they’ll stop trolling, and we’ll only have our own native wit to entertain ourselves.

                1. Case in point.

          2. Gold came from supernova only, along with the other heavies…Remember, as soon as a star fuses iron it is fucked, so the heavy elements are fused in the resultant explosion.

    3. European stock markets getting hammered today. Germany and France down 5%-6%; Italy down 6%.

      I’m surprised silver hasn’t had a similar surge as gold.

      1. Silver is weird. A lot of the demand is for industrial applications, so it sorta acts like copper as a barometer of economic outlook. Some of the demand is for jewelry/coins/ hedging, but industrial demand usually predominates the price action.

        1. That would make sense – poor economic outlook pressures silver, but runaway fiscal/monetary policy suports it. I wonder what irt will take to drive it over $50.

          1. If we ever get a real recovery it could easily go to $200 as the inevitable QE1/QE2/…/QE9 inflation kicks in while industry takes off again.

      2. Uh, silver almost tripled from Apr 30, 2009 to Apr 30, 2011.

  32. http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs…..24790.html

    The Stockman comments about the mother of all Keynsian contractions being due are depressing and probably true.

  33. HELP: Mom’s Boyfriend is a Mooch.
    http://www.theglobeandmail.com…..le2132653/

  34. SWAT team standoff ends without incident

    A man held members of the Conway Police Department, including the SWAT team, at bay for about two hours Wednesday evening before being taken into custody without incident.

    Officers had responded to a similar incident in 2010 when the man told friends he was going to kill himself.

    According to La Tresha Woodruff, public information officer for the Conway Police Department, “When the officers arrived at the home, neighbors told them that the man had said he was going into his home and if they called the police, he would shoot the officers as well as harm himself. The SWAT team was called to handle the situation,” Woodruff said.

    When officers finally made contact with the man, he stated that he had been drinking whiskey and that he had taken 12 Xanax pills as well as 12 pain killers. According to the police report, the man told officers, “I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone else, but I thought about coming outside with a gun and shooting at y’all so y’all would have to shoot me.”

    Nothing else happened.

    http://thecabin.net/news/local…..k0t96iP_Sg

    1. Gee, do you think if cops were slower to shoot people, fewer suicide by cop attempts might happen?

      1. Episiarch|8.18.11 @ 11:10AM|#
        Remember, this is Troll Free Thursday. Pass it on.

        1. Data plan not so good, right? Plus, posting from a phone is a lot of work. Right?

    2. The fact that one guy threatening suicide now demands a freaking swat response is offensive enough, even without any dogs being shot or people being burned alive by flashbangs.

    3. 12 Xanax? I wonder what the dosage was? 5mg will make me drunk enough to black out.

  35. 11 Year old German Boy calls police over housework

    A boy of 11 called a German police emergency line to complain of “forced labour” after his mother told him to help clean the home.

    Police say the boy from Aachen, who has not been identified, spoke to an officer via the 110 number.

    They say he complained: “I have to work all day long. I haven’t any free time.”

    His mother told the officer the boy had kept threatening to call them, having repeatedly complained of having to do housework during the school holidays.

    A transcript of the conversation, printed in local newspapers, revealed the officer asking the boy to describe the kind of “forced labour” he was doing.

    The boy replied that he had to clean the home and terrace, it said.

    1. The kid has a future in anarchist rioting.

  36. “Jobless claims rise by 9,000”
    But the Reasonoids said we have a labor shortage, and need more immigrants…

    1. How’s that tomato harvest going, buddy?

      1. Episiarch|8.18.11 @ 11:10AM
        Remember, this is Troll Free Thursday. Pass it-

        Oh, fuck it.

        1. Typing on a phone is hard, right?

      2. Fine, provided you don’t expect your laborers to work for 5$/hr. In any case,the labor market isn’t perfectly elastic, so it takes time for job openings to be filled. If the feds had properly enforced the immigration laws before we became heavily dependent on cheap unskilled labor, there wouldn’t be any need for dramatic adjustments in the agricultural labor markets.

    2. “http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0611/57551.html

      How funny is that.

    3. This is idiotic.

      If the premises of capitalism are true, adding additional labor inputs to a system can’t hurt it.

      Regardless of the unemployment rate at the outset of any period of analysis.

      “Nobody have any more kids! Unemployment is 9%, so we already have too many people!” – Georgia Retard

      1. If citizens must be, by law, employed at X wage, and undocumented immigrants can be employed at any wage, then, during a job shortage, the undocumented have an advantage over citizens. Therefore, adding an additional labor input, that is exempt from the restrictions that bind the citizenry, would hurt the system simply because it can undercut legitimate labor inputs.

  37. DARPA plans to grant $500,000 in “seed money” to study the feasibility of sending humans to another starsytem.

    Ha ha ha ha! I predict their conclusion will be “more studies are needed, keep the grants coming!”

    1. Sending a certain group of 535 humans to another star system would probably pay for itself.

      1. I believe we could do that right now.

        1. It wouldn’t cost money it would save money.

        2. As my first jobs proposal, I propose that 1000 rocket engines be built in the basement of the Capitol…

          1. The Capitol does have a kind of spacecraft quality to it.

            1. What am I, chopped liver?

              1. Sorry, Lincoln goes into outer space first. We have to fulfill the Star Trek prophecy.

            2. If DARPA can convince congress that Epsilon Eridani is populated with whores, money changers and covered in oceans of liquor, they’ll find their own way there.

        3. Kidding aside, I’m not sure it is possible. Voyager 1 is going about as fast as we have the technology to make anything go, and it’s barely reached the edge of the Solar System after 25 years.

          1. Voyager I was Carter era tech. Now we have Barrack level… you’re right we’ll never make it.

            1. “The light speed barrier cannot be broken, this is true today and it was true when my administration took office…”

              1. The light speed limit is a bourgeois construct, foisted upon us by a Zionist cabal.

                1. I blame Bush.

          2. VASIMR, my friend. Probably with some sort of detachable chemical rocket assist harness to get up to speed.

          3. A more comprehensive list of drive technology.

            1. I’m hoping for the Sakharov drive for interplanetary travel, and Bussard ramjets for longer range work.

          4. It’s possible with current technology, provided that you’re not worried about how long it takes Congress to get to its destination. It’s even more possible if you’re not worried about the destination at all. It’s incredibly possible if you don’t take Congress’ survival into account.

            1. Maybe we should send them to a closer star instead.

              1. Say, that’s a good idea. We could get them there in a few months.

                In fact, that’s a great idea. “Listen, we’ve identified a star with a planet with a confirmed alien civilization on it. Have a nice trip!” Then Congress could become one with Sol.

                1. It might be difficult to humanely off them before they burn up like we did with all those dogs and monkeys from the 50s and 60s. If we label the poisonous food “DO NOT EAT MORE THAN 15 MINUTES FROM SOLAR LANDING” you just know they’re going to eat that first.

      2. Yeah, Obama can have Ron Paul’s seat and Biden can have Rand’s (not that Joe isn’t already in outer space.).

    2. “It’s infeasible. Now, about my fee.”

  38. Help! Mom’s new boyfriend is a mooch.
    http://goo.gl/xI3xr

  39. Man shoots himself while driving

    He did it so the cops don’t have to.

    1. I note that it was a Taurus Judge.

      1. A lol-tastic gun if ever there was one. 410 revolver? Yeah, that’s useful.

        1. I note from the story that it was loaded with slugs. A few minutes of googling suggests that the ballistics of a .410 slug can approach that of .44 Magnum, and are certainly superior to 9mm Parabellum. That said, it’s still a goofy design, what with .410 shells being larger and harder to find than handgun shells. People report that it works well with birdshot as an anti-snake weapon, but that seems about the limit of it.

        2. For short-range self-defense, a .410 shell loaded with just about anything would leave a very satisfying hole.

          1. The Box O’ Truth tried it and wasn’t impressed with the performance of birdshot: http://www.theboxotruth.com/docs/bot41.htm

            The .410’s not big enough for a reasonable amount of buckshot, which leaves only slugs, in which case there’s not much advantage in using a Judge over a regular pistol-caliber pistol.

        3. I’ve fired one of these. Very easy to shoot, and at defensive ranges, a .410 will definitely fuck anyone’s shit up. You can even load it with .45 Colt, or alternate chambers. Very versatile.

  40. Speaking of Rick Perry, he’s pretty good at Fuck Yous.

  41. Story Request:

    Ron B., could you give this a gander and let us know what you think?

    http://www-eaps.mit.edu/facult…..i-2011.pdf

    The paper supposedly argues that current models overstate the effect of CO2 on surface temperatures by about 300%, and that the actual feedback effects are negative, not positive.

    I’ve always wondered, personally, how the feedbacks could be positive, since the planet has had CO2 levels historically that are higher than they are now, yet somehow never went into a climate death spiral.

    1. One final point needs to be made. Low sensitivity of global mean temperature anomaly to global scale forcing does not imply that major climate change cannot occur.

      Someone anticipated being called a denier.

      1. Yeah, that has CYA written all over it.

    2. “I’ve always wondered, personally, how the feedbacks could be positive, since the planet has had CO2 levels historically that are higher than they are now, yet somehow never went into a climate death spiral.”

      Yeah. Positive feedbacks are generally not drivers in stable chaotic systems that oscillate within a range. It has been a reason for my skepticism about the computer models for a long time.

    3. I’ve always wondered, personally, how the feedbacks could be positive

      Externalities.

    4. I don’t know, but there is one major difference between previous periods of high CO2 and the putative future one we’re supposed to be creating: the rate at which CO2 levels are increasing. I don’t know if that factors into the feedback calculations.

  42. The Cubed Earth theory

    I still like the Time Cube theory better.

    1. We already have a name for that, Bizarro Earth.

  43. Federal Fish found frozen in freezer, fisherman fights fine:

    “A photo of the fish appeared in the local newspaper. Fisheries biologists who had previously put radio transmitters in Atlantic salmon that had migrated upstream in the Connecticut to spawn noticed the photo. They also discovered one of the two salmon they were monitoring in the White River was now transmitting its signal from dry land in Bethel. …The missing salmon was located in a freezer in Bethel.”

    http://7d.blogs.com/blurt/2011…..eezer.html

    1. A good name for a band…”Federal Fish”

      1. Fine-Fighting Fisherman isn’t bad either.

    2. How would you not notice a radio transmitter on a fish you were planning to eat?

    1. We need new laws!

    2. Never go swimming in the Spleef Nebula.

    3. That actually gave me a slight scare. We just spent some time in a river in North Carolina, and when I first saw this report, I thought it was some new danger. Apparently, though, it’s quite rare.

    4. I’m pretty sure Sugar Free could’ve done something raunchy with this.

  44. The funny thing about the LA-S&P story: the decision only applies to ratings of its investment portfolio. So, while the city treasurer is grandstanding about how no one trusts S&P’s judgment, the agency is still rating LA’s general obligation debt. Oops.

    Also, we can’t help but think this has some connection to Maxine Waters’ embarrassing rant against S&P.

    1. S&P should downgrade the U.S. again.

      1. and nobody will care again

    2. Comment from Waters story:

      Hugh Akston said…
      See this is the kind of representation you get when you vote.

  45. They also discovered one of the two salmon they were monitoring in the White River was now transmitting its signal from dry land in Bethel. …The missing salmon was located in a freezer in Bethel.”

    Poached salmon; delicious!

    1. Pricey at $1500 a plate.

  46. Did I read the Lunchtime Links correctly? Piers Morgan Stanley angered Christine O’Donnell by asking her if gay marriage is causing another recession?

    1. I would have walked out, and so would anybody with an IQ exceeding a single digit. That fucking degenerate is such a colossal, self-righteous prick, and the bullshit he spews is so toxic, I wouldn’t go on the show for a million dollars. If that’s what he really asked her, she walked out because he was mocking her. Fuck him sideways.

    2. Yes, and whether or not she used witchcraft to put a black cloud over us.

  47. 2 adults arrested in lemonade stand heist

    A man and a woman have been arrested in connection with the robbery of a lemonade stand that was raising money for a child’s medical treatment.

    Gage Turner, 20, was arrested about 3 a.m. Tuesday, and his girlfriend, Amber Umbarger, 21, was arrested Saturday shortly after the lemonade stand in Warner Robins, Georgia, was robbed.

    Chelsea Edwards, 13, and two of her friends were selling lemonade to raise money for the care of her 2-year-old cousin.

    But on Saturday, Chelsea said a man and woman approached her lemonade stand and asked how much the lemonade cost.

    “The man bent down and seen the money jar, and he grabbed it,” the seventh-grader told WMAZ. She said the jar contained about $130. Chelsea said the man jumped into a car and sped off, leaving the woman behind.

    Umbarger was arrested at the scene, and Turner was arrested about 3 a.m. Tuesday in a vacant apartment, police told WMAZ.

    Nothing else happened.

    http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011…..and-heist/

    1. Those kids were gonna get knocked over by someone, at least it was an honest-to-god thief.

    2. What is your point? Yes, we all know that cops sometimes do what they are supposed to do.

      1. We all know that cops sometimes don’t do what they are supposed to do.

  48. Wow, Reason… nothing yet about Jared Cano, the unhinged moron who plotted to bomb a high school. I am disappoint.

    Hell, DU posters have already compared him to Jared Loughner. Time to get crackin’.

    1. Ooh, that reminds me. Facepalm of the week, Federal Agent division:

      “The suspect who is accused of planning to bomb his high school in Tampa updated his Facebook status with the following: ‘The weirdest thing happened today…when my homie Nic Peezy was trying to connect to a wireless network the connections list came up and one of them was called: FBI_SURVEILLANCE_VAN,'”

      Are you kidding me? You named your mobile wireless base station WHAT?!

      1. The System worked.

      2. Um…dude. Wow.

      3. Is this true? It’s so hilariously stupid (on both the part of the FBI and the kid) that I find it hard to believe.

      4. So, if you were to start downloading as much kiddie porn as possible through that network connection, could the fibbies tell it was you?

      5. Actually, having given this some consideration, I think I’ll rename my home network to this. Ought to keep the war-drivers out.

        1. That it could be believable is sad enough.

        2. From the comment section of that article.

          Eponymous Hero said,
          “this joke made its way around my circles a few months ago. you’re supposed to change the name of your home wireless network to “fbi surveillance van” (those exact words, too) to freak out people who are hanging around your house stealing bandwidth.”

          So the kid might have seen that network, but it wasn’t the FBI.

          1. beat me by 4 min

      6. This is a very common joke. Name your wireless network FBI_SURVEILLANCE_VAN and listen to the lulz across the neighborhood. There is one in my neighborhood.

  49. http://latino.foxnews.com/lati…..nes-in-us/

    “Fast and Furious” Guns Found at Another 11 Crime Scenes in U.S.

    “The U.S. Justice Department has acknowledged that weapons linked to the botched ‘Fast and Furious’ gun-trafficking sting were found at 11 additional crime scenes in the United States, the Los Angeles Times reported.”

    “The revelations ‘vastly broaden the scope of the danger’ arising from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives’ controversial 2009-2010 operation, under which agents allowed weapons to be bought by straw purchasers at U.S. gun shops in a bid to trace them to powerful drug traffickers in Mexico.” …

    Can we try and convict the executive branch NOW, please?

    1. I’ll have an excuse for you by noon Pacific time.

      1. Are the trains running on time?

        1. All of the best intentions, guys. Best intentions.

  50. Man Robs Wendy’s in a Ninja Turtles Mask.

    A true fan would have hit up a Dominoes.

    1. I suppose they wanted quality over authenticity.

    2. A true fan would have made a bunch of Michaelangelo’s pizzas and eaten them, and taped the whole ordeal.

  51. http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/08/…..d.furious/

    “Three ATF supervisors who played roles in the controversial gun sales sting known as Operation Fast and Furious have been given jobs at ATF headquarters in Washington even as the Justice Department’s Inspector General is probing the matter, a senior federal law enforcement source has confirmed.”

    “The transfers to Washington include one promotion and two lateral moves …” …

    Become accomplices to murder, assault, and a plethora of other crimes, shit from up high on the very compact of society that made your position possible in the first place, and you’re sure to get a post in the capital city of history’s most powerful nation-state. Is it sad that this doesn’t at all surprise me?

  52. http://www.kob.com/article/sto…..ml?cat=504

    “A lawman accused of pulling his gun on another driver in a road rage episode turned up in court Wednesday saying he is not guilty.”

    “Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Sgt. Alfonso Rodriguez said it was his wallet with his badge attached that he pulled out while trying to convince an angry pipe-toting driver to back off.” …

    STAWP REZEESTIN’, HOMBRE!

    1. That’s nothing–I don’t see how it could possibly top a 15-year police veteran re-enacting a standard pr0n fantasy scene:

      http://www.krqe.com/dpp/news/c…..ith-escort

      1. If it was Adriana Lima or something, I’d do it in a heartbeat!

  53. http://latimesblogs.latimes.co…..admit.html

    CA: Fullerton police admit cellphone video proves wrong man arrested

    “The embattled Fullerton Police Department acknowledged Wednesday that police arrested the wrong man for allegedly attacking an officer last year. The department has launched an internal investigation into how the mistake occurred.”

    “Fullerton’s acting chief, Kevin Hamilton, ordered an internal affairs investigation after reviewing video of the incident shot with the cellphone of the arrested man, Veth Mam. The video shows a different version of events than police described in their reports and testimony.” …

    That’s three so far, right? I think FPD deserves the “Most Fucking Imooral , Shitheaded Organ of Government 2011” award.

    1. Let me be clear, the Executive branch firmly disagrees.

    2. what else happened?

      1. They all probably got raises?

  54. http://colorlines.com/archives…..lence.html

    CA: Deadly Secrets: How California Law Has Shielded Oakland Police Violence

    … “Multiple lawsuits alleging wrongful death, excessive force, illegal searches and racial profiling incidents involving Gonzales have resulted in $3.6 million paid by the city in settlement money. Law enforcement experts say he fits the profile of the ‘bad apple’ minority in OPD that is responsible for most of the allegations of brutality that plague its relationship with the city’s communities of color. …”

    “Yet, Gonzales has been consistently promoted and deployed into sensitive situations throughout his career, and without public outcry. That’s because few know about either his record or his promotions. His extensive personnel file is today off-limits to the public …” …

    1. Wait, it’s in California — nobody gives a shit about California anymore

  55. http://thetruthaboutguns.com/2…..r-soakers/

    Brits Sleep Easier Knowing They’re Safe From Super Soakers

    The London Metro Police took a fair amount of criticism during the recent riots. So did other constabularies around England. Store and home owners who saw their property damaged or destroyed weren’t impressed by the bobbies’ rules of engagement that appeared to be limited to using the flaming buildings to make ‘smores while watching rioters and looters move to the next target of opportunity. But no more. At least not in Colchester. No more mister nice guy. Rioting, burning, looting and assault are bad enough. But break out a Super Soaker in the land of hope and glory and her majesty’s finest are gonna come down on you like a ton of flaming bricks?

    Actually, the Colchesterite (Colchesterer?), he who shall not be named, never even got the chance to direct his stream at another Briton. All he managed to do before being arrested was to organize a water gun fight via Blackberry Messenger. That’s right. He was planning a squirt gun fight.

    A police spokesman declined to comment on whether not police were monitoring BMM (sic) service, telling the Guardian: “Essex police use appropriate measures for whatever the crime and wherever our investigations lead us.”

    The UK Government has been investigating what role tech and social media played in organizing the riots. On Friday, the UK government announced it would be holding talks with Facebook and RIM. Previously, Prime Minister David Cameron told Parliament that the government is examining whether it is possible to prevent suspected criminals from sending messages via social networking sites such as Twitter and Facebook.

    After all, the UK is the birthplace of Orwell. And they already have more surveillance cameras per square foot than any other country on Earth. Might as well reinforce the reputation.

    The hooligans openly communicated and chose their targets using social media sites during the riots. If only British law enforcement had displayed anything approximating this kind of vigilance while the yoots ran wild, maybe fewer buildings would have been torched and some of the people beaten to death might still be alive. Better late than never though, what?

  56. http://www.thegatewaypundit.co…..-in-women/

    Fracking causes VD.

    1. He’s just mad a miner drilled his sister.

      1. “…cause a miner 49’ed her….”

  57. weapons linked to the botched ‘Fast and Furious’ gun-trafficking sting were found at 11 additional crime scenes in the United States, the Los Angeles Times reported.”

    Further proof of the dire need to ban firearms.

  58. So, Terry Pratchett’s special, Choosing to Die, is on Youtube now. Jesus, it is sad. The guy probably had 20 more books in him, given his previous pace, and now…this.

    1. Terribly sad. I am a huge fan.

      1. It is so sad. I’ve adored him since my older brother brought Reaper Man home with him one Christmas break many years ago. Been hooked ever since.

      2. I meant to add:

        Audible.com has an excellent collection of his books, with excellent readers.

        Not all books do well as audio books, but Pratchett’s do. I’ve got all the Night Watch and Industrial Revolution books on audio, and they are just wonderful.

  59. http://www.examiner.com/gun-ri…..-you-don-t

    ‘Suspected terrorist’ if you do, devoured by zombies if you don’t?

    “Last Thursday, National Gun Rights Examiner David Codrea noted a report from the Oathkeepers that the Denver office of the FBI wants surplus store owners to snitch on purchasers of certain survival gear. (Very) briefly summarized, the FBI wants to know about people who purchase ‘in bulk’ things like Meals, Ready to Eat (MREs), waterproof containers for ammunition or matches, shooting accessories, etc. … Yesterday, Seattle Gun Rights Examiner Dave Workman reported that this effort on the federal government’s part is both more widespread and longer established than was initially apparent.”

    “Strangely, though, at least two branches of the federal government advise citizens to have some of these things on hand …” …

    These guys are so awesome! I definitely want them running my health care eventually!!!!!1111111

  60. Rick Perry was a bad college student.

    And, let the Aggie jokes commence!

    On a more serious note, why does this shit matter? Obama was a great college student, but a shitty President.

    1. It’s truly amazing how they managed to dig up Perry’s college records about a week after he formally entered the race, yet this fuckbag Obama has been president for more than two and a half years and the vermin in the media refuse to release the same info on him, which they almost assuredly have in their possession. The media are full of shameless lowlife vermin.

      1. Wiki had his grades listed last Friday, the day before he officially announced.

    2. Jesus. Perry might be a real human being an not a ruling-class pod person. This doesn’t make me more likely to vote for him, but I’ve had enough smartest-guy-in-the-room syndrome from the current guy to last for a while.

    3. Obama was a great college student,

      [citation needed]

    4. Wait.

      Aggie jokes stop sometimes?!?

      1. // Been at cow colleges two of my last three jobs

      2. Sure. Start telling Aggie jokes about FAMU and you’ll be labelled a racist.

    5. How many Aggies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

      One, but he gets 3 credit hours.

      And has anyone found Barry’s transcripts yet?

      1. How do Aggies practice safe sex?

        They brand the sheep that kick.

  61. Are Hair pat downs racist?

    AFRO-Americans are being kept down, m i rite?

    1. It’s like they just saw their first Pam Grier movie and came up with this bright idea.

  62. http://www.denverpost.com/breakingnews/ci_18692391

    CO: Denver settles suit linked to 2008 Democratic National Convention

    “Denver has agreed to pay $200,000 to settle an ACLU lawsuit accusing Denver police of indiscriminate mass arrests that shut down a protest march during the 2008 Democratic National Convention in Denver.”

    “Denver officials have also agreed to make police policy changes to provent similar mass arrests in the future, according to an ACLU news release.”

    “The lawsuit charged that Denver falsely arrested marchers without probable cause and groundlessly prosecuted them for crimes they did not commit, the release says.” …

    Maybe the whole crowd should have been heavily armed. I don’t think even those cock-sucking pigs would have the balls to do anything by cordon off a few streets.

    1. Maybe the whole crowd should have been heavily armed. I don’t think even those cock-sucking pigs would have the balls to do anything by cordon off a few streets.

      The SWPL coffeehouse revolutionaries that made up most of these protestors tend to think firearms are icky.

      1. Probably the same mindset that makes them suck so many balls at protesting in the first place, eh?

  63. http://www.opposingviews.com/i…..-swat-guns

    CA: Right or Wrong? Police Allow Kids to Handle SWAT Guns

    “A police department in Northern California is coming under fire for allowing children to handle SWAT weapons at a local festival.”

    “The Press Democrat reports that photos show the Santa Rosa police department allowing kids to pick up and aim fully automatic assault rifles and riot guns that were lying on a table near a SWAT vehicle.”

    “‘What are young people learning from this?’ asked Attila Nagy, who took the photos and then distributed them to concerned citizens and lawmakers. ‘No matter how you justify it, no matter how you twist it, it’s the promotion of violence.'” …

    Butthurt liberal fuckhead is butthurt

    1. Wait, somebody named Attila is whinging about the promotion of violence?

      1. She’s a typical leftist Californian. They’re like their own breed of hellishly fucktarded. I would have pointed out and laughed at the name for kicks with a person from most other states, but LibCal couldn’t surprise me anymore if the state government decided to open gulags and fund the construction of Karl Marx statues.

    2. “Ok kids, if you do drugs, we’re going to use this to shoot your doggy. Or you can join us. Then you’ll get to shoot someone else’s doggy. Say no to drugs!”

    3. Given their record of “accidental” shootings, I’m not sure I’d trust cops to remember to clear the chamber before bringing their gun along.

  64. DARPA plans to grant $500,000 in “seed money” to study the feasibility of sending humans to another starsytem.

    The comic “Non Sequitur” was doing a story arc about this a few weeks ago (before DARPA’s announcement). The story mysteriously stopped at a cliffhanger and we’ve heard nothing of it since. Coincidence? You decide…

  65. Are You Authorized to Defend Yourself?

    “Badges? We doan need no steenkeen BADGES!”

  66. I deposited a “Lunchtime Link” in the restroom at work one time.

  67. A comment from the USAToady article on O’Donnell:

    Score: 46
    Jallard
    10:32 AM on August 18, 2011
    What’s not working in Washington are the Republican Tea party politicians. All politicians were elected to go there and represent all of the people, not just the chosen few. They were sent there to WORK TOGETHER to work as one nation. To resolve issues that arise, not to fight over ideologies and make things worse. No one politician in Washington is free of blame for our current problems. All the tea party is accomplishing is a division of its people. They are the Al Qaeda of the US, the scum of the Earth and they need to be eradicated post haste.

    These are the people who read that third-rate rag, based on the score of the post and the negative scores of every single post defending O’Donnell and/or criticizing Morgan in any way.

    1. Note also that O’Donnell does hold any office.

    2. My standard throw-back at people like that is “eat shit and die in a fire”.

      1. Man, that’s witty and original!

        1. I know, right?!

  68. Big tobacco sues the FDA over graphic new warning label requirements.

    Correction: Small Tobacco sues Big Government.

    1. Observation for statists: It’s nobody’s fucking business whether ‘Tobacco’ is Big or Small. The government disagrees, of course.

  69. Specialy of the house: a heapin’ helpin’ of gobbledygook

    Given that some version of this system is the closest we can get to fairness, the key question concerning riot sentencing is not whether it is permissible for the system to change sentencing according to circumstance. Clearly it must be. The real question is whether or not these particular circumstances justify these particular changes. Is there anything about crimes committed in the context of riots that takes them “completely outside the usual context of criminality”, as Gilbert put it?

    There is one such factor, but if anything, it points to treating people more leniently, not more harshly. That is to say, human beings are easily swept up in the herd and can find themselves doing together what they would never do alone, for better and for worse. And it seems quite clear that many normally law-abiding people got caught up in the riots. If part of the purpose of punishment is to deter, reform and rehabilitate, then the last thing we should do is lock up hitherto lawful citizens with career criminals. Nothing seems better designed to turn what would otherwise be a one-off aberration into a gateway to further crime.

    The riot context could therefore be seen as a mitigating, not aggravating, factor. This would not be a good reason to actually treat offenders more leniently. If we want people to behave responsibly we have to hold them fully responsible. But it certainly at least acts as a counterweight to any considerations that would want us to treat them more severely.

    My head, it is spinning.

    Do I believe these people should be sent to jail? The overwhelming majority, no. However, I see nothing wrong with restitution and putting their worthless asses to work cleaning up the mess they made.

    1. Do I believe these people should be sent to jail? The overwhelming majority, no.

      Rioting is violence. Prison is not, in principle, inappropriate for crimes of violence.

      The fact that they participated in the riots for personal gain via looting is not exactly a mitigating factor.

  70. Apparently, Elizabeth Warren has decided the Senate doesn’t have enough moralizing scolds and nannies.

  71. Apparently the SEC was just busted for destroying thousands of investigation documents into, among others, Government Sachs, SAC Capital.

    http://www.rollingstone.com/po…..s-20110817

    See also: regulatory capture

    1. You didn’t think they were going to destroy their golden parachutes did you?

  72. Another completely isolated incident:

    Chicago police beat up store employees closing shop after mistaking them for burglars.

    The juicy bits: “when a frustrated Michael Ayala yelled at officers that he had video tape of the incident, an officer he described as a sergeant “flipped” and put his head into a side window.”

    And nothing else happened.

    1. “The alleged conduct does not represent the high standards of professionalism and excellence maintained as core values of the Department and which officers demonstrate on a daily basis serving and protecting the community,”

      professionals would have disabled the security cameras before administering a little needed justice

  73. Astute NYT reader discovers solution to unemployment:

    22.HIGHLIGHT (What’s this?)
    RobW
    Long Island, NY
    August 17th, 2011
    8:12 pm
    Don’t people (republicans) realize that regulations create jobs. Someone in the company has to be hired to keep track (someone like an accountant).. Then they have to spend money to keep their businesses within the regulation and that money has to go somewhere so it either creates more jobs either in their company or in the company who produces products/services to keep them within their regulations.. or both. Regulations create jobs, lack of regulations removes jobs.

    1. Ahhhh….I get it.

      We need hole diggers, hole fillers, and shovel handling technique evaluators, hole dimension checkers, pile placement officers, and glove-access rights poster placement supervisors.

      1. In all seriousness I suppose you could look at this as a solution to the productivity “problem”: that it no longer takes lots of brute simple labor to keep everybody alive so some people can actually be willing to work but unable to find it for lack of skills.

        (And someday, somehow the economy will have to re-arrange itself around this idea—so far we have the every expanding “high touch service” sector, but I doubt that this is the asymptotic answer)

        1. A modern economy has more people involved in providing entertainment, pleasure, and leisure; status-signaling possessions; and even completely worthless stuff than those employed in the essentials of keeping everyone alive. There should always be some kind of job in a thriving economy.

    2. We could be at 100% employment if only people would go back to hunting and gathering.

      1. What Indian? Is that you?

      2. 100% after the first winter of starvation, at least.

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