Dinner Music For a Pack of Hungry Cannibals

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John Boehner has lunch.

When Jared Lee Loughner went on his rampage, Slate's Jacob Weisberg assured his readers that the reasons for the shooting included "inflammatory language about tyranny, betrayal, and taking back the country." Apparently it would have been safer to stick to inflammatory language about cannibalism, as in Weisberg's new column, which informs us that "A Congress dominated by mindless cannibals is now feasting on a supine president."

Credit where it's due: That may be a silly line, but it isn't a bad turn of phase. Since I don't subscribe to the theory that political violence is caused by pundits' metaphors—and since I disagree with virtually all of the arguments that constitute the rest of the rant—I'm happy to declare the sentence the high point of Weisberg's article.

The low point? Behold the soul of the frustrated technocrat:

At the level of political culture, we have learned some other sobering lessons: that compromise is dead and that there's no point trying to explain complicated matters to the American people.

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  1. That whole thing sounds kinda crazy to me dude. Wow.

    http://www.anon-web.us.tc

  2. You never really loved him! HE’S TOO GOOD AND PURE FOR THE UNGRATEFUL LIKES OF YOU — !!!”

    1. At the level of political culture, we have learned some other sobering lessons: that compromise is dead and that there’s no point trying to explain complicated matters to the American people.

      Obamacare passing proved that last year.

  3. there’s no point trying to explain complicated matters to the American people

    Ah, projection. It’s always so beautiful. Weisberg couldn’t understand the directions to get out of a paper bag.

    As an aside, I met Ruggero Deodato, the director of Cannibal Holocaust, once. He was about five foot six, 50+ years old, and was with his 20 year old Italian girlfriend. Fun stuff. But not nearly as crazy as Dario Argento.

    1. There once was a man named Ruggero…

    2. Well, of course Argento is crazier! Have you seen Mother of Tears?

  4. I find it laughably ironic that he calls Tea Party policies Hooverite, when Hoover dramatically increased federal spending and raised income taxes on the highest tax brackets threefold.

    1. Stop with facts that don’t fit the narrative!!

    2. Anytime you read an article where a journalist mentions Hoover and his laissez-faire policies, e-mail them this link:

      Hoover announces 1931 stimulus plan

      Some of the reactionary economists urged that we should allow the liquidation to take its course until we had found bottom…. We determined that we would not follow the advice of the bitter-end liquidationists and see the whole body of debtors of the United States brought to bankruptcy and the savings of our people brought to destruction…Instead we met the situation with proposals to private business and to Congress of the most gigantic program of economic defense and counterattack ever evolved in the history of the Republic.

      1. I messed that one up. Here’s a working link.

      2. so history _does_ repeat itself.

        1. So, this time it’s farce? Good deal. I need some lulz.

        2. Those who fail to learn…

        3. despite the wonderful job public schools do teaching history.

          Go figure.

  5. “A Congress dominated by mindless cannibals is now feasting on a supine president.”

    If only

  6. what a douche

  7. Me, I just want to meet the genius behind Frankenhooker.

  8. *pounds head into keyboard*

  9. When Jared Lee Loughner H&R anarchists went on his their nihilistic rampage…

    Episiarch|1.8.11 @ 2:39PM
    Fuck the politician

    joshua corning|1.8.11 @ 2:54PM
    American Politicians are killing American citizens today. Why should I know and care about a congresswoman’s death?

    Warty|1.8.11 @ 7:47PM
    Fuck off. Did you expect us to give a shit about some shitbag politician?

    1. Don’t care for politicians…..didn’t do anything to them…but refuse to gin up faux sympathy.

      You realize that’s why most of us are here? To indulge in hateful snark.

      Perhaps you should join a sympathy circle at the next “Netroots” get together.

      Yutz!

    2. ….that shamelessly plunder the “public” and waste the loot on war, welfare and corporate subsidy. Personal tragedies draw sympathy, but their voting records draw my contempt.

  10. Oh look, anonypussy has gotten into the Adderall again. Doesn’t everyone love when it spams everything? It’s like it wants attention. How…pathetic. I cannot imagine how low someone must be to obsessively live on a site where they are universally hated, yet that’s all they do.

    Hey buddy, how’s your “life”? Don’t have one, do you?

    1. Obviously no life, and she’s gotta get her attention from somewhere…

      1. I’d still like her to explain how it isn’t unbelievably pathetic to obsessively haunt a blog where she is universally hated. I mean, can anyone explain how she isn’t the most idiotic, low scum? Why would you do what she does, unless you were just the most decrepit moron? She truly has nothing better to do, it seems. I’d say it was sad if it weren’t just completely pitiful.

        1. “PRESENT!”

        2. Yesterday was pretty amusing, as the day went on you could see her switch from one persona to another desperately trying to get some sort of response.

          1. The lulz were rich on TFT.

          2. I will admit that such patheticism can be amusing, but I still want an answer from someone; anyone: can anyone give any reason why she isn’t the most pathetic scum on the internet? Any reason at all?

            1. can anyone give any reason why she isn’t the most pathetic scum on the internet? Any reason at all?

              Rule 34.

            2. He/She/It makes the puppets dance.
              That in itself is entertaining.

              1. Get up puppet boy.
                You got a job to do.
                Even so you’re free to go
                where your master tells you to.

                Listen puppet boy.
                Before you disobey
                consider that the strings attached
                could make a big change in your ways.

                Puppet boy,
                it’s the little things that count.
                Little problems, little minds,
                little points of view.

  11. “…compromise is dead and that there’s no point trying to explain complicated matters to the American people.”

    I don’t get why Congress and the President compromising before the so called default date is evidence that “compromise is dead”.

    Maybe the American people shouldn’t bother trying to explain something as uncomplicated as the difference between “compromising” and “uncompromising” to Jacob Weisberg.

  12. A slightly different version of [Weisberg’s] column also appears in the Financial Times.

    I can understand this sort of center-left handwringing appearing in Slate. But what’s it doing in FT?

    1. Seriously? Haven’t you noticed a lot of left-of-center articles and comment trolls there lately? “Center” is the new Right.

  13. Q: What is the ultimate in trust?

    A: Allowing a cannibal to give you a blowjob.

    1. I thought most people got hungry after sex?

      1. I often smoke after sex.
        Seriously.
        I checked.

  14. The word “supine” is hot right now.

    1. It’s right up there with “butthurt” and “statist.”

      1. “butthurt” has been trending for like a year.

        Statist goes back a bit farther but usage is mostly confined to n3rds

        Don’t get me started on “Douche-” That’s soooo 2010

  15. I feel his pain. I have a difficult time explaining to people how Medicare and Social Security are bankrupting the country too.

  16. CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST STEVE FAVORITE MOVIE. STEVE GIVE IT 5 HIKER SKULLS.

  17. Behold the soul of the frustrated technocrat:

    Exactly. He obviously defines “compromise” as “obey me”.

  18. I knew Obama had been mugged by Kamikazes whom we should have killed, but devoured by cannibals? Things are even worse than I thought!

    And oh yeah, I’m a war veteran, so don’t criticize anything I say or do.

    http://www.crainsnewyork.com/a…../110809969

    “It’s like asking a mugging victim whether or not he should have succumbed to the threat that he could be killed,” said Rep. Charlie Rangel, D-Manhattan. “When you’re dealing with people who don’t mind going into default, I don’t see how you can blame the president for not taking that risk.” Rangel, a war veteran, likened them to kamikaze pilots: “You had to kill them.”

  19. “At the level of political culture, we have learned some other sobering lessons: that compromise is dead and that there’s no point trying to explain complicated matters to the American people.”

    Financial matters such as funding health care or the deficit are generally too complicated for the average American to understand. Unfortunately, it is also too complicated for most Congressional Republicans to comprehend.

    Better to get out of the way to let Obama and his advisors to handle it. They know what they are doing. If they had been allowed to handle this from the beginning with out Republican obstruction, the deficit and the economy would be in much better shape.

    1. DERP.

      1. No wonder everyone hates you Libertardians. Hint: it’s personal.

        To Tony’s point, we’re able to borrow money at basically zero percent interest. We ought to make the most of that. Obama should have just told the Retards, “Get back. I got this.” Damn, I’d like to jack that boy’s handle so hard until his economic brilliance blasts me in the face like a salty geyser.

        1. Exactly. If you step outside the knee-jerk Libertarian/Conservative mindset for five seconds, this becomes obvious. I would recommend that Obama suspend elections in 2012 until he is able to get the economy back on track. Some sort of five year plan should do the trick. If the petulant tea party types complain, there are ways to silence them.

          1. I’m using my own sock to masturbate! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

            1. Pffftt. As if I could actually get “shorter.”

  20. They’ll turn out of that phase soon enough.

  21. I’m disappointed that none of y’all got the reference in the headline: http://youtu.be/nl4ahPoU4Es

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