Science Proves People Are Happier on the Weekends

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You're probably happier on the weekend, especially if you don't get along very well with your boss, according to a new paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research. 

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  1. Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday.
    Today it is Friday, Friday.

    We we we so excited, we so excited, we gonna have a ball today.

    Tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards.

    I DON’T WANT THIS WEEKEND TO END!!!

    1. Monday nothing, Tuesday nothing,
      Wednesday, Thursday, nothing.

      Friday for a change,
      A little more nothing.

      Saturday, Sunday, nothing.

      Not a goddamn thing.

      The Fuggs

  2. You’re probably happier on the weekend,[…] according to […] the National Bureau of Economic Research.

    Nope, we can’t cut one penny, not one, from the federal budget.

    1. You may purchase this paper on-line in .pdf format from SSRN.com ($5) for electronic delivery.

      Information about Free Papers

      You should expect a free download if you are a subscriber, a corporate associate of the NBER, a journalist, an employee of the U.S. federal government with a “.GOV” domain name, or a resident of nearly any developing country or transition economy.

      So, basically, it’s free for anyone BUT the Average American Citizen. Good thing I’m not retarded enough to need/want to read it.

    2. It’s paid for by the Canuck taxpayers:

      This paper is part of the ‘Social Interactions, Identity and Well-Being’ research program of the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research, and is also supported by grants from the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada. This support is gratefully acknowledged.

  3. Other government research finds that men tend to be happier when balls-deep in pussy.

    1. I’m totally applying for a grant for that research.

  4. Episode IV, A NEW HOPE
    It is a period of [CIVIL WAR]. [REBEL] spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil [GALACTIC EMPIRE].

    During the battle, [REBEL] spies managed to steal secret plans to the [EMPIRE]’s ultimate weapon, the [DEATH STAR], an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

    Pursued by the [EMPIRE]’s sinister agents, [PRINCESS LEIA] races home aboard her [STARSHIP], custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore [FREEDOM] to the [GALAXY]?.

    1. word for word. It’s definitely more compelling with the brackets though. Lucas don’t know SHIT.

      1. I believe you mean:

        Lucas doesn’t know [SHIT].

        1. *hands over writer’s guild credentials*

          1. (errant apostrophe totally appropriate in the context)

  5. a new paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research.

    Cutting the budget will hurt society’s most vulnerable!!!!!1111!!!

    My suggestion for the NBER’s next research paper:

    How many former government economists does it taker to bring in all the shopping carts from a Walmart parking lot?

    1. does that include the Committee To Determine The Most Efficacious Method For Selecting Which Cart To Consider Starting With?

      1. You mean, the Supercommittee?

        1. I’m not sure if “Super-” accurately reflects the number of levels-removed-from-the-problem-to-be-solved.

  6. http://scienceblogs.com/pharyn…..nt-4678260

    Okay, one last laugh at PZ Myer’s expense, then I won’t bring him up ever again.

    1. http://scienceblogs.com/pharyn…..nt-4678309

      Okay, I SWEAR, this will be the last one!

      1. I would rather read a YouTube comment section than any more of that pure shit. And, yonemoto, if you’re reading, just give it up, man. Those people are never going to be convinced.

        1. fuck, got to your comment about an hour too late:
          VVV

      2. Dammit, I lost an hour of SCIENCING due to that shit. Society has fallen back one afternoon’s work. On top of it, now everyone on reason can know my first name (and email!)

    2. Libertarians love only one thing: money. They do things for no other reason.
      Reminds me of when I was going to college in Augsburg’s Weekend College program. Most of the adults there were going for a business degree while I went for computer science.

      Wait, I’m working on an MBA, not a CS PhD? Huh.

      1. Seriously people, read your enrollment forms.

      2. I think they discount how much hatred of bullshit rules motivates some of us.

      3. s/Libertarians/Economists/g and it’s a somewhat true statement!

        Take that, Krugman.

      4. Wait, I’m working on an MBA, not a CS PhD? Huh.

        It’s good to find out before you start working on your dissertation. Also, on the plus side, the programming knowledge will help you force the code monkey wage slaves to work harder and harder while you whip them with your monocle chain…

    3. These aren’t nearly as fun as Jezebel comments, by the way. These just make me depressed.

    4. I have to wonder how many actual, living libertarians the posters personally know.

      Right. None. This is why I hate people.

      1. Ooh. I forgot about hatred of people as a motivating factor. Not being forced to do shit by random people. BIIIG factor in my Libertarianism.

        1. I might be a tad touchy lately from the blatant and craven dishonesty on display on the debt ceiling kabuki dance, and the public’s seeming willfulness to gulp it all down as completely credible. It really doesn’t serve well as a basis to trust your fellow man, let alone like him.

          My leg has been pissed on so much lately that I’d swear I’m supposed to gather up all the animals in pairs by the end of the week.

    1. LACIST!

  7. 1) So, how much did this “study” cost?
    and
    2) What stupid law will Congress pass as a result, and what will that cost?

    1. 1) That Information Is Classified For Reasons Of National Security

      2) “what stupid law” assumes only 1 law will result from this study.

    2. A four day work week maybe?

  8. What stupid law will Congress pass as a result, and what will that cost?

    My guess is they will pass a law declaring that every day is a weekend. The cost in overtime, time and a half, etc., for weekend work will be astronomical.

    1. Businesses that can’t afford the overtime will receive subsidies.

  9. Does anyone have a working link for Eric the .5b’s INCIF filter? The old one is kaput.

    I can’ts stands the trolls around here no longers.

      1. Yeah, thanks, I have that one for Chrome, but I was looking for the Firefox extension. Needs that for work.

    1. Assuming your email is accurate…check it.

      1. I’m pretty sure “pooboy@smear.net” isn’t a real email address.

      2. Got it. Thanks rob.

        1. Its kinda crappy and slow compared to the pre-threading version.

  10. Wow, the one guy works at the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research. I hate to see what passes for regular research in Canada.

  11. Is the NBER also currently working on the effect on GDP of paying on Tuesday for a hamburger today? Will we see Fannie Mae branch out into government-subsidized unsecured loans for hamburgers?

    1. Will we see Fannie Mae branch out into government-subsidized unsecured loans for hamburgers?

      Only if you use the burgers to build a home.

    2. And how are we pronouncing NBER?
      1: NOO-ber (kinda like in Caddyshack)
      2: NEE-ber (A Minnesotan saying ‘neighbor’)
      3: nuh-BURR (A Star Trek alien)

      1. This calls for a committee.

        1. That will require an acronym and, of course, a preferred pronunciation.

          1. So we form a commission to figure out the name and proper pronunciation of the committee. This is really easy Jeff, try to keep up.

  12. And since I am childless, my weekends are waaaay better than you parents out there. Sleep in. Have gin for breakfast. Snap Jen with a towel as she gets out of the shower. My weekends ROCK.

    1. There’s a special hell for people like you.

      1. I’m on a short bus to my special hell…

  13. If it were not for government, you people would not know that people are happier during the weekend. So show some gratitude.

    1. An excellent Tony impersonation.

    2. You wouldn’t have a weekend if it wasn’t for the brave unions a hundred or two hundred years ago.

      Pay my pension bitches!

  14. Did the paper remember to thank unions?

    1. I remember that campaign.
      We ain’t seen a lot of union advertising lately, have we?

    2. Did the paper remember to thank unions?

      What the fuck!?!?!

  15. Thank you Jews, for inventing the weekend.

  16. It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care — it’s five o’clock somewhere.

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